Self-Awareness

Building Relationships.
Building Breakthrough Teams.
OUTLINE

•Rules Setting
•Activity1(Temperaments)
•Lecturette (Part 1)
•Activity2 (Personal Plan)
•Lecturette (Part 2)
•Summary
• Use “I” Statements
• Seek to KNOW and EXPERIENCE
• TAKE OFF your SHOES
• Do NOT be AFRAID of SILENCE
• SMILE and have FUN learning!!!
What is awareness?
 Knowing that something exists.

Internal awareness

External awareness

Fantasy
What is Self-Awareness?

 having a deep understanding of one’s

emotions, strengths, limitations, values
and motives – personality.
 INDIVIDUAL

Why A-W-A-R-E-N-E-S-S ?

Self -Awareness Self -Defensiveness

Self - Confusion
Self –Understanding

Self - Denial
Self - Acceptance
Self - Rejection
Self - Responsibility

Psychological
Psychological
Death
Growth
 INDIVIDUAL

Why A-W-A-R-E-N-E-S-S ?

Brings you . . .

- Self-confidence
- Realistic self-assessment
- Self-deprecating sense of humor
- Positive sense of self-worth
 TEAM

Why A-W-A-R-E-N-E-S-S ?
Self -Awareness

Self –Management

Social Awareness

Relationship Management
(Post-industrial definition of LEADERSHIP)

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Why SELF A-W-A-R-E-N-E-S-S ?
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
- determines the ability of a person or
organization to manage emotions in
a way that cultivates trust, identity
and effectiveness.
Self –Aware Individual Self –Aware Team

Emotional Intelligent Emotional Intelligent

Member Organization
Why SELF A-W-A-R-E-N-E-S-S ?
IQ vs. EQ

“IQ makes you get the job.”

“EQ makes you keep the job as long
as it takes.”
“It is the greatest good for an
individual to discuss virtue
every day...for the unexamined
life is not worth living.”

~Socrates
ACTIVITY 1

What is my TEMPERAMENT?
LECTURE & DISCUSSION

What are the

Four (4) TEMPERAMENTS?

A Tool for Self-Awareness

 introduction

The 4 TEMPERAMENTS

o Temperament is an individual’s tendency

to react in a certain way throughout
their life, forming an identifiable pattern.

o proposed by Hippocrates in 350 BC

o explains personality differences based

on the predominant body fluids
 introduction

The 4 TEMPERAMENTS

o CHOLERIC – “yellow bile from the liver”

o MELANCHOLIC – “black bile from the

kidneys”

o PHLEGMATIC – “phlegm from the lungs”

o SANGUINE – “blood from the heart”

 What is
your
relational
style?
4 TEMPERAMENTS in a nutshell
CHOLERIC MELANCHOLIC
• The EXTROVERT • The INTROVERT
• The DOER • The THINKER
• The OPTIMIST • The PESSIMIST

PHLEGMATIC SANGUINE
• The INTROVERT • The EXTROVERT
• The WATCHER • The TALKER
• The PESSIMIST • The OPTIMIST
 Recognizing Differences
At best in:
C  jobs that require quick decisions
 spots that need instant action and accomplishments
 areas that demand strong control and authority

M  attending to details and in deep thinking

 keeping records, charts, and graphs
 analyzing problems too difficult for others

P  positions of mediation and unity

 storms that need a calming hand
 routines that might seem dull to others

S  dealing with people enthusiastically

 expressing thoughts with excitement
 up-front positions of attention
CHOLERIC : a closer look
STRENGTHS WEAKNESSES
Active Goal oriented Aggressive Pushy
Assertive Independent Ambitious Relentless
Bold Opinionated Angry Shrewd
Brave Passionate Stubborn
Antagonistic
Capable Persevering
Argumentative Unempathic
Compelling Positive
Bossy Unsympathetic
Confident Pragmatic
Competitive Productive Combative
Determined Purposeful Defiant
Decisive Quick Dismissive
Driving Resolute Domineering
Dynamic Self-motivated Harsh
Effective Sharp Impatient
Energetic Strong-willed Intolerant
Enterprising Vigorous Oppositional
Focused Zealous
Prideful
Forceful
 Famous Cholerics
St. Ignatius of Loyola
St. John Bosco
St. Cyril of Alexandria

Margaret Thatcher
Michael Jordan
Bill Gates
MELANCHOLIC : a closer look
STRENGTHS WEAKNESSES
Painstaking
Analytical Aloof Perfectionist
Artistic Particular
Quietly Apprehensive Pessimistic
Careful
Cautious Passionate Brooding Reluctant
Choosy Persevering Cool Scrupulous
Planned
Conscientious Critical self-righteous
Deliberate Pondering
Precise Demanding Skeptical
Delicate
Discreet Prudent Distrusting Snooty
Detailed Reasoned Envious Standoffish
Reflective
Elegant Fearful Strict
Exacting Religious
Reserved Grudge-bearing Superior
Guarded
Idealistic Restrained Haughty Suspicious
Introspective Romantic Hypochondria Timid
Shy
Judicious Highbrow Uncommunicative
Lover of truth and Serious
beauty Sensitive Jealous Unsocial
Meticulous Studious Judgmental Undemonstrative
Noble Thorough Nitpicking Wary
Orderly Thoughtful
 Famous
Melancholics
St. John, the Evangelist

John Henry Newman

St. Padre Pio

PHLEGMATIC : a closer look
STRENGTHS WEAKNESSES
Amiable Mild
Calm Modest Apathetic Unconcerned
Collected Neutral Boring Unenthusiastic
Composed Peaceful
Conservative Philosophical Distant Un-opinionated
Coolheaded Polite Indecisive Unmotivated
Cooperative Quiet Indifferent Unresponsive
Deliberate Relaxed
Dependable Reliable Impassive Languid
Diplomatic Self-controlled Inattentive Content with
Dry Self-possessed, status quo
Easy-going Lackadaisical
Serene
Courteous Sincere Listless Lack of
Constant Sober Lukewarm aspirations
Content Stable
Efficient Steady Obtuse
Even-tempered Sympathetic Passionless
Fair Tactful Procrastinating
Friendly Traditional
Gentle Understanding Sluggish
Good-humored Undisturbed Slow
Kind Unflappable
Level-headed Simple
Untroubled
Meek Without hostility Spiritless
Mellow
 Famous
Phlegmatics

St. Thomas Aquinas

St. Gregory Nazianzen

Pope John XXIII

Keanu Reeves
SANGUINE : a closer look
STRENGTHS WEAKNESSES
Active Fun-loving Attention-seeking Sensuality
Affectionate High spirited Changeable Smart-alecky
Affable Imaginative Chatty Superficial
Animated Joyful Distractible Prone to vanity
Ardent Light-hearted Disorganized Undisciplined
Carefree Lively Emotional
Compassionate Open Tendency to exaggerate
Cheerful Optimistic Faddish
Creative Outgoing Fickle
Docile Popular Flighty
Eager Responsive Frivolous
Enthusiastic Resilient Forgetful
Entertainer Sensitivity Gossipy
Expressive Sparkling Inconstancy
Generous Spontaneous Insincere
Fashionable Story-teller Lacking depth
Flexible Vivacious Scattered
Forgiving Warm-hearted
Funny
 Famous
Sanguines

St. Peter
St. Francis de Sales
St. Philip Neri
Ronald Reagan Bill Clinton

Magic Johnson
Franklin Roosevelt
 ACTIVITY 2
Let’s Make A Personal Plan
Assess Your Strengths
List 3 STRENGTHS you feel are the most
important in your relationships with others.

Evaluate Your Weaknesses

List 3 WEAKNESSES you think that most need
improvement.

Plan Your Steps for Personal Improvement

As you look at the 3 WEAKNESSES you have
chosen to work on, list what you can actually do to
change these areas.
 Getting Along Well
CHOLERIC
• Recognize they are born
leaders
• Insist on two-way
communication
• Know they are always right
• Don’t push your luck
 Getting Along Well
CHOLERIC
• Try to divide areas of
responsibility
• Realize they are not
compassionate
• Know they don’t mean
to hurt
 Getting Along Well
MELANCHOLIC
•Know that they are very
sensitive
•Learn to deal with depression
and get hurt easily
•Compliment them sincerely
and lovingly
•Realize they are programmed
 Getting Along Well
MELANCHOLIC
•Accept that they like it quiet
sometimes with a pessimistic
attitude
•Try to keep a reasonable
schedule
•Realize that neatness is a
necessity
 Getting Along Well
PHLEGMATIC
•Realize they need direct
motivation
•Realize that putting things
off is their form
•Help them set goals & make
rewards of quiet control
 Getting Along Well
PHLEGMATIC
•Don’t expect enthusiasm
•Force them to make
decisions
•Don’t heap all the blame on
them
•Encourage them to accept
responsibilities
 Getting Along Well
SANGUINE
•Recognize their difficulty in
accomplishing tasks
•Realize they talk without
thinking first
•They like variety and flexibility
•Help them to keep from
accepting more than they can do
 Getting Along Well
SANGUINE
•Don’t expect them to
remember appointments or be
on time
•Praise them for everything they
accomplish
•Remember they are
circumstantial people
 Getting Along Well
SANGUINE
•Bring them presents
•Accept that they make fun out
of what would be
embarrassing to others
•Realize they mean well
PERSONALITY PLAN: Overcoming the Vices
PROBLEM SOLUTION
C 1.Powerful Cholerics are • Learn to relax

H Compulsive Workers • Take the pressure off others

• Plan leisure activity

O 2. PCs Must Be in Control • Respond to other leadership

• Don’t look down on “The
Dummies”
L • Stop Manipulating

E 3. PCs Don’t Know How to

Handle People
•
•
Practice patience
Keep advice until asked

R
• Tone down your approach
• Stop arguing & causing
trouble
I 4. PCs are Right but • Let someone else be right

C
Unpopular • Learn to apologize
• Admit you have some
faults
PERSONALITY PLAN: Overcoming the Vices
SOLUTION
M
PROBLEM
• Realize no one likes gloomy
E are Easily Depressed.
1. Perfect Melancholies
people
• Don’t look for trouble
L • Don’t get hurt so easily
• Look for the positives
A
N 2. PMs Have Low Self- • Search out the source of your
insecurities
Images
C • Listen for evidence of “false
humility”
H 3. PMs Procrastinate • Get the “right things” before
O starting
• Don’t spend so much time
L planning

I 4. PMs Put Unrealistic • Relax your standards

• Be grateful you understand
C Demands on Others
your temperament
PERSONALITY PLAN: Overcoming the Vices
PROBLEM SOLUTION
P 1. Peaceful Phlegmatics  Try to get enthused
H are Not Exciting

L 2. PPs Seem Lazy  Learn to accept

E 
responsibilityfor your life
Don’t put off until tomorrow

G Motivate yourself

M 3. PPs have a Quiet

 Learn to communicate your
Will of Iron
A feelings

T 4. PPs Appear
Wishy-Washy
 Practice making decisions
 Learn to say no
I
C
PERSONALITY PLAN: Overcoming the Vices
SOLUTION
S
PROBLEM
• Talk half as much as before
A Too Much
1. Popular Sanguines Talk
• Watch for signs of boredom
• Condense your comments
N • Stop exaggerating

G 2. PS are Self-Centered • Be sensitive to other

people’s interests
U • Learn to listen
3. PS Have Uncultivated
I Memories • Pay attention to names
• Write things down
E 4. PSs are Fickle and • Make friends not just
N Forgetful Friends acquaintances
• Put other’s needs first
E 5. PSs Interrupt and
Answer for
• Don’t fill you must fill all the
gaps
Others
6. PSs are Disorganized • Pull your life together
and Immature • Grow up
 Maximize
your
STRENGTHS

Minimize your
WEAKNESSES
 Summary...
• We have a little of a lot of all four
relational styles
• Behavior is situational. How are you at
home and how are you at work?
• There is only one relational style we
“lean” toward the majority of the time
• People are unique so we need to try to
understand others
 Summary...
• Use our strengths towards achieving
success for our organizations and for
ourselves
– In leading others in all our domains
(home, work, community ,etc.)
– In building harmonious/edifying
relationships with others
 Summary...
• Over-extending our strengths
however can become our
weaknesses
• Balance = effectivity. For ourselves
and for our work
– Learn to balance your personal
profile
– Develop a balanced work profile
 Summary...
Our reactions to others should move
from...
Judging
Understanding
Respecting
Appreciating
Valuing
 Summary...
Different = Wrong
Different = Different

There is richness in
diversity!
Awareness
brings
effectiveness!!
 THE END

Or is it The Beginning….