LOVE IN COLONIAL CLIMATE:

MARRIAGE ,SEX AND ROMANCE

IN 19TH CENTURY BENGAL
(ARTICLE BY TAPAN RAYCHAUDHURI)

BY MEGHA CHAUDHARY
OVERVIEW

 Studies related to intimate areas of human experiences

 Human drives like Sex,Love fear do not serve same purpose in every culture
 Factors that determines texture, causation and expressions of our emotions are belief
system, world views and culturally determined expectations from life
 Different culture have different objectives to control the sexual impulse
 This article focuses on implication of an external factor i.e. colonial rule (and the
associated developments) for an intimate area in life of 19 th century Bengalis Hindu
Bhadralok
 Main focus-how private concerns altered through interactions with public sphere
 Condition and status of women in modern Bengal
 Central concern –elements of change and continuity within the sexual relationship of
men and women
Beliefs and values regarding marriage

 Specific purpose ‘PUTRATHE KRIYATE BHARYA’ meaning a man takes a wife to beget sons
 Agrarian society – man considered to be more useful
 Scriptures : only son can offer sustenance ;spiritual salvation
 Eg 1.poet Michael Madhusudan Dutta's father 2.Bipinchadra pal’s father
 Memoirs of a Brahmo lady
 A mother of a son was valued by husband
 While polygamy was not widely practiced ;Taking a second wife to give birth to a son
 importance of extended family
 E.g. Bankim’s heroin Debi chudhrani and Tagore's essay mentioning about Uma
 Ideal bride ;earned praise of husband’s family
 To learn to subject to extended family ; girls married early
 Motives behind child marriage –feminine sexuality and anxiety to control it
 Male domination
 Manusmriti conduct of Brahmins
 Man considered to be lord
 These norms not conspicuous in Bengali (medieval literature)
 A set passage in Panchali describing dissatisfaction of wives
 Example of Bidyasundar and Sakta tradition
 Critics- women under authority of men
Phenomena of kulinism

 Maintenance and enhancement of ritual status through marriage

 Bengalis segmented into exogamous gotra or clans descended form the same
putative ancestor
 Three upper caste, brahmins, Baidyas and kayasthas had their kulins accorded
the highest ritual status

 Brahminism kulinism produced an extreme form of hypergamy

 Kulin status depended on family’s record of ritual purity
 kulin girls cant get married to non kulin ;marriage happened at an early age or
with a much older bridegroom
 Infant betrothal
 Lets sum up
 Child marriage happened but in case of a kulin women, she may have to wait
in search of kulin bridegroom with proper ritual status
 Polygamy prevalent in among kulins
 Enforced widowhood was mandatory
 So we now know can conclude the emotive facts the determine a relationship
between man and women were by the institutions like child marriage
,enforced widowhood ,kulin polygamy and enforced spinsterhood
 Age of bride
 Pre puberty marriage
 Memoirs and folklores
 The gifts of the costly jewelry ,sarees
 Pleasure mixed with vague apprehensions
 Accounts of Haimavati and Rassundari
 Bengalis nursery rhymes full of references to the cruelty brides suffered
 Institution of child marriage precluded sex before puberty(not mentioned theory)
 Young couple went through second wedding after wife menstruated for first time (“PHUSPOTOSAV”)
 Data on the marital life(sexual) limited ;however we have unpublished account of HaimaVati
 Child wife daily life was spent with other women of the family
 Her life passed through stages –new bride, motherhood and widowhood
Haimavati’s experiences and views

 Gott married at the age of ten to a 45 year old man

 Writes how the realization of leaving her paternal home dawned on her
 Found some solace in her mother in law’s kindness
 She mentions some cruel incidents and accounts like
 As medical practitioner ,she attended an eleven year old bride bled as a
result of rape by her husband
 As a child bride she encountered horrendous experiences like, her sister in
taking her to husband’s room. HaimaVati falling asleep and by the time she
woke up she realized she had no cloths on her body
 Another incident ;waking up and seeing her husband having sex with a
prostitute
Rassundari’s experiences and views

 Compares state of her mind at the time of marriage to that of a sacrificial

goat quaking with fear just before slaughter
 Her new home was far away from cruel
 Felt safe in the lap of her mother in law
 Her account of her childhood projects an image of total innocence verging on
stupidity
 Whatever she learned about physical intimacy was through the nature or her
husband
 Lived a quite happy life
Other accounts

 GIRISH BIDYARATNA’S joyous account of sex in boyhood

 PRASANNAMAYI-known to have a very unhappy marriage mentioned her
husband
Polygamous home

 Abode of misery
 Memoir of NISTARINI DEBI: throws unusual light on the emotive effects of
kulin polygamy
 She describes her incidence of meeting a co wife after which the co wife
broke down to tears after hearing the new of the death of their husband by
Nistarini Debi
Memoirs written by men on marital
experiences
 Were quite explicit
 Represented image of marital happiness
 DEWAN KARTIKEYA writes about intense emotional attachment which wives
felt for their husband
 PANDIT GIRISH BIDYARATNA described his married life with joy
 But on contrary PRASANNAMAY mentions advice given by an uncle to his
nephew (comparing dead wife to a pair of slippers)
 TRANTICISM AND MYSTICAL RIGHTS
 Bhairavi chakra and sects like kartabhajas
 Immorality had more surreptitious outlets
 HOMOSEXUALITY –unmentioned in Bengali culture
 Exceptions –RADHAKANTA DEV’S famous letter
Changes….

 Changes traceable to various facets of the colonial encounter began to modify the
attitudes conduct and emotive effects associated with man and woman
relationship
 Modalities discussed so far can be judged and changed very slowly
 First indication of changes in the attitude ;found in life of hindu college
 Bishop Heber response of Raja Radhakant Deb
 K.M Banerji left Hindu fold
 D Mukherji marries a widow maharani of burdwan
 Poet Madhusudan denied marrying a little girl selected by his parents
 But still vast majority adhered to inherited practices
(tagore family accepted teenage bride)
 Rational skepticism a factor which induced rejection of tradition
 The agenda for social reforms in 19th century Bengal derived partly from mood pf introspection informed by new
sensibilities
 Western romantic literature had major impact on aesthetic sensibilities of western educated Bengalis in the area of
relationship between men and women
 Brahmo enthusiast and preachers introduced new dimensions in their marriage :wife expected to be a companion
 Education system for women
 Purdah became a major issue; breaking all odds Satyen Tagore taking out her wife in open carriage
 Women in public spaces ;great issue
 Nabin Sen's memoirs: pattern of social conduct among functionaries in Bengal
 Quest for consensual marriage
 Change in the age of marriage ;1920s;12 years
 Romantic love was a persuasive theme in Bengali literature (1860s onwards)
 Prostitution flourished
 Many more intellectual and emotional changes started bourgeoning
Thankyou