Interpersonal

Communication

Quarantine By: Haley Wolfe

INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION WHILE
IN QUARANTINE
Interpersonal Communication: the complex process through
which people produce, interpret, and coordinate messages to
create shared meanings, achieve social goals, manage their
personal identities, and carry out their relationship.. (Verderber &
MacGeorge, 2016)
Interpersonal communication can be a struggle in everyday life, but is especially
difficult in times with little face-to-face interaction. Communication and lack-thereof,
can cause problems in many different of relationships, but especially in romantic,
workplace, and familial relationships. In this manual, I plan to walk you through how to
keep your interpersonal relationships stronger than ever while stuck in the house
quarantined. IN THIS MANUAL:
I will give you some tips in managing and maintaining relationships that I think would be
beneficial during this time. No one knows what kind of effects COVID-19 will have on our
society, or if they will be long-term or short-term. In the meantime, we should be
prepared for the worst and I am here to serve as your relationship guide. Listed below
are some concepts● we will touch base on&
Understanding throughout
Developingthe manual:
Interpersonal Communication
Skills
● Online Interpersonal
Communication Skills
● Handling and Managing
More often than not, we take opportunities to communicate with our loved ones for granted. In the past it has
been easy to say to yourself, “It doesn’t matter if I cancel plans today, because I can just see my friends
tomorrow.”In the office, we also have taken advantage of being able to solve problems with face-to-face
interactions. Now that everyone is social distancing and forced to stay indoors, it isn’t as easy to communicate
with friends, family and coworkers.

MANUAL ORGANIZATION:
This manual is broken up into 13 sections based off of the chapters in the “Interact - Interpersonal
Communication” textbook. Each section will give advice that I have formulated based on the information in
the texbook.

WHAT TO TAKE IN:

● The beautiful graphics and design elements
● The important tips to maintaining healthy relationships while in quarantine.
● Mental health is an essential part in maintaining relationships. Take care of yourself!
Interperson
al
Communica
tion
Ch
1
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
S
Interpersonal Communication MESSAGE

The complex process through which people produce,

rds,
interpret, and coordinate messages to create shared
nc e th at uses wo
a erbal
meanings, achieve social goals, manage their
A perform a n d/or nonv
personal identities, and carry out their relationships.
sente n c es , oughts,
to c o n v ey the th
s
behavior and inten
tions
feelings,

Encoding Creating messages that convey

MESSAGE MESSAGE INTERACTION our meanings and goals by
PRODUCTION INTERPRETATI COORDINATIO selecting words and behaviors
that we believe represent our

What we think and ON

What we think and N messages
Adjusting
ideas and feelings.

do to produce do in order to to accommodate What we think and do to

Message
messages. This interpret the and anticipate the Production encode a message
includes the message we have messages of the Process
behaviors and words received. This other person. Using
to best portray the includes observing feedback from the Decoding Making sense of the message
ideas and feelings nonverbal behavior, other party can help we receive
we have. The making inferences to determine how
messages we create about the received your message was Communicatio the set of background
are motivated by message, and received and the n context conditions surrounding the
interaction goals interpreting yours best way to develop interaction
which establish what and the sender’s your next message..
we want to interaction goals. Interaction the things a message sender
goals wants to accomplish through
accomplish by Then, you can
 COMMUNICATION SKILLS SOCIAL Traits of
The combination of goals, plans, and scripts that are MEDIA AND Social Media
effective and appropriate for specific types of messages, DIGITAL 1. Interactivity
interactions and relationships. “Talk back” capabilities
COMMUNICAT
2. Temporal
ION Structure
ETHICS While in
Time it takes to send
and receive messages
A set of moral quarantine, social 3. Social Cue
media and digital
principles held by a communication are
Richness
society, a group or Provide information
some of the only about the message
an individual that DARK SIDE MESSAGES ways to stay in both verbal and
provides guidelines Messages that are not ethical and/or contact with people Nonverbal
for acceptable outside of your 4. Storage and
appropriate
home.. Let’s look at
behavior some of traits of
Replicability
Continual access to
social media
ETHICAL Appropriate Inappropriate
communication.
data.

COMMUNICAT Behavioral Flexibility

ORS... Ethical Bright Side Hard Dark the capacity to react in a variety of
1. Are truthful & Honest, respectful Side ways to the same or similar
honest and empathetic Respectful, honest,
response. situations.
2. Act with but may still hurt the
Integrity other person’s Emotional Intelligence
3. Behave fairly feelings.
the ability to monitor your own and
4. Demonstrate others’ emotions and to use this
Respect Unethic Easy Dark Evil Dark information to guide your
5. Are responsible al Side Side communications
 Maintaining relationships while in quarantine can be difficult and will take extra
effort. It is important to recognize during this time that most communication
with those outside of your household will be through digital technologies.
Message interpretation is more complex and complicated when external
devices are involved. Where communication may have been more
spontaneous before social distancing, interactions may need to be scheduled.
It is also important to be more accomodating of others during this time. Communication may
not come as easy to some as it does to others. Reach out to your friends, but allow time for
message interpretation and be patient with them.
TIPS
Understand that communicating is a complex, multi-step process. Messages
need to be produced, interpreted and coordinated. It is okay to take time to
process a message if you need to. Be patient with others if they need time to
1 interpret messages as well.
Before getting upset or angry by something that someone said (especially
online), check your own communication. Did you communicate ethically? Could
2 the words that you said have gotten misconstrued as unethical language?

Focus on your emotional intelligence and behavioral flexibility.

3 Communicating through a digital device can make it difficult to interpret
messages and can occasionally cause conflict. Try to stay level-headed
during this time and be understanding of what someone else could be going
Social
Cognition Ch
2
Understanding Others and Ourselves
 IMPROVING SOCIAL
SOCIAL COGNITION COGNITION
Question the accuracy of yo
Social cognition is how we make sense of other people, 1 perceptions
ourselves, and our social world
Seek more information to 2
AUTOMATIC CONTROLL verify perceptions
Arriving at conclusions about ED Realize that your
Consciously and
others, ourselves, or a intentionally stopping to 3
perceptions of a person
situation without much think about something may need to be updated
consciousness, intention, or because you realize that Monitor your messages for over time.
awareness of their future 4
how you think will affect unintended effects.
impact. what happens.

EMOTIONS 5 Monitor your emotions so

you can control your
The positive and negative sensations we experience as a result responses.
of perceiving something our environment that supports or
threatens our well-being, which result in uncontrolled physical
reaction expressed through verbal and nonverbal behaviors
Self-generated social media cues -
that motivate us to take action. Items of information that people post on their own
profiles, such as status updates and profile pictures.
FEELING SOMATIC MOTOR COGNITIVE MOTIVATIO
NAL Other-generated social media cues -
The The Expressio The The action Items that other people post on our page like
sensations physical n of meaning that
comments on Facebook or Twitter.
we feel experienc emotion or emotion
that we e of a through interpreta encourage System-generated social media cues -
recognize feeling. nonverbal tion of the s us to Pieces of information that the system provides, such as
as and emotion- take. the number of friends we have on Facebook.
happiness verbal provoking
, anger, behaviors. event.
anxiety,
pride,
 SELF-ESTEEM VS. SELF-CONCEPT Self-fulfilling
SELF-CONCEPT prophecythat become
predictions
true because we act in
A very large schema ways consistent with the
in memory that is the prediction
collection of all of the
ideas you have about Social projection
yourself, including overestimating the
your abilities, similarity between our
preferences, traits,
personality traits, and opinions, and concerns
roles. and those of others.

Possible self-concept - a set of ideas about what you are capable of being.
Ideal self-concept - the set of ideas about who you would like to be.
Ought self-concept - the set of ideas about what you think you should be.
Feared self-concept - the set of ideas about what you think you should be.
Relational self-concept - the set of ideas you have about yourself in a particular in a (set SELF-ESTEEM
of) relationship(s).
Working self-concept - the set of ideas about yourself that you are actively remembering at
Our positive or
any given time. negative
Independent self-concept - culturally based self-perceptions in which people see judgment of the
themselves as distinct from others with separate characteristics and abilities. character we
Interdependent self-concept - culturally based self-perceptions in which people view think we have.
their traits, abilities, and characteristics within the context of a particular relationship.
 When working to maintain relationships both in quarantine and in the outside
world, it is important to understand others’ emotions, self-concept and self-
esteem. These three factors make up how a person can react while
communicating with another person. By building your own self-esteem and
working on your self-concept, you can build your own communication skills.
It can also be useful to learn about social cognition and the differences between automatic and
controlled social cognition. When commenting on online posts, it is easy to post an automatic
cognitive response without thinking twice about it. Work to slow down your thoughts, and
control your snap judgments about people’s opinions. Many people will post their thoughts
about how others choose to social distance… think before you post, and do not fuel the fire that
has already been ignited. TIPS
Work on building your own self-esteem and altering your self-concept. It is easy to feel
low-spirited while stuck inside all-day-everyday, so find things that make you feel good
and make you happy! Go for a bike ride, paint a picture for your wall, or change out of
your pajamas and dress nice for a day! Find whatever it is that makes you happy and do
1 it! These are all things that can help remind you that you are GREAT!
Think before you post! Let your controlled social cognition take the forefront before
posting self-generated posts, Think about if your comments on someone else’s posts are
2 necessary or will add value to the conversation before letting the automatic social
cognition take over.
Take others’ emotions into consideration before adding to the conversation. Remember

3 that everyone is impacted by COVID-19 in some way and many people are going
through a hard-time right now. Think about how what you say, especially online, will
affect the receiver of the message.
Communicatio
n
Ch
Intercultural

3
INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION - interactions that occur between people
whose cultures are so different that the communication between them is altered.

CULTURE SHOCK - the CULTURE DOMINANT CULTURES - The

psychological discomfort you learned system of beliefs,
experience when you must The system of shared attitudes, and orientations
interact in a new culture. values, beliefs, attitudes, held by the majority of people
VALUES - the commonly and orientations learned in a society.
accepted preference for some through communication CODESWITCH - To alter
states of affairs over others. that guides what is linguistic and nonverbal
considered to be patterns to conform to the
ETHNICITY - A classification of appropriate thought and dominant or co-culture
people based on shared behavior in a particular depending on the topics or the
national characteristics such as segment of the participants in a conversation.
country of birth, traditions, CO-CULTURES
population. - Cultures that exist side by side with the
language, geographical origin, dominant culture and comprise smaller numbers of people
ancestral customs, and religion. who hold common values, attitudes, beliefs, and orientations
that differ from those of the dominant culture.
RELIGION- A SOCIAL CLASS - a level in the CULTURAL IDENTITY - That part of
system of beliefs, power hierarchy of a society your self-image that is based on
rituals,and ethics whose membership is based on the cultural group or groups with
based on a income, education, occupation, which you most closely associate
common perception and social habits and align yourself.
ETHNORELAVITISM - The point
of view allows you to see the
value in other cultural
perspectives.
INTERCULTURAL COMPETENCE -
Effective and appropriate
behavior and communication in
intercultural situations.
POWER DISTANCE - The extent
to which members of a culture
expect and accept that power
will be unequally shared.
LOW POWER-DISTANCE
CULTURE - A culture in which
members prefer power to be
more equally distributed.
HIGH POWER-DISTANCE
CULTURE - A culture in which
both high- and low-power
holders accept the unequal
WAYS TO LEARN MASCULINE CULTURE - A culture
ABOUT OTHER in which men and women are
CULTURES expected to adhere to
traditional sex roles.
1. Observation
2. Language study FEMININE CULTURE - A culture
3. Formal cultural in which people regardless of
4. Cultural immersion sex can assume a variety of
roles depending on the
circumstances and their own
UNCERTAINTY
AVOIDANCE - The choices.
extent to which the LOW UNCERTAINTY AVOIDANCE
people in a culture look - A culture that tolerates
for ways to predict what uncertainty and is less driven to
is going to happen as a control unpredictable people,
way of dealing with the relationships or events.
anxiety caused by
uncertain situations or HIGH UNCERTAINTY AVOIDANCE
DISPLAY RULES - Rules
relationships. - A culture characterized as
about when, why, and
having a low tolerance for and a
how different emotions
high need to control
are to be expressed (or
unpredictable people,
not).
 Cultures vary all over the world. In the United States, we have a high-context, individualistic
culture which is not the case for many cultures. This is still true while in quarantine, but the
“codes” that we all have known for so long have now been blurred, making communication
more difficult during this time. In some ways, social-distancing and quarantines have
developed a new culture for us, and causing many of us to go into culture shock. Many people
have different ideas on what forms of communication are acceptable during this period of
social distancing. It is best to listen to the news and CDC recommendations to determine
Uncertainty avoidance hassafest
what the also been
formsextremely prevalentare
of communication lately due this
during to the coronavirus. Predictability is
time.
comforting to many and because there is little knowledge on the impact that the virus has, it is causing many
people to have high anxiety. As stated in previous chapters, it is important to stay patient with government
officials, doctors, scientists and other community members during this time. Many people’s mental health is
impacted by the uncertainty of the virus.
TIPS
Work to learn and develop comfort within the new culture that has arisen. While it may
not be what everyone expected or wants, it is the current reality. It will take time to
understand, but use the four steps of learning about a new culture to understand what is

1 expected of community members during this time. Breaking social rules can cause
further anxiety for others
Be accommodating and can put
and accepting people
of other at risk.
social-distancing cultures among us. Because
the president has declared that the governor of each state is to make the rules about
social-distancing culture, there are many different cultures spread throughout the United
2 States. Because of the high uncertainty of the virus and little predictability, no one knows
the true best way to handle it. Try to stay calm and accepting of the decisions that are
Learn
made,about whatyourself
and keep others are doing to make their home-culture more comfortable and
safe.

3 exciting. Be accommodating of those (college students) who may have to adapt to living
at home again. Be understanding and patient of others and what they may be going
through in their own personal lives.
Verbal
Messages Ch
4
VERBAL MESSAGES CONVERSATIONA MAXIM OF
QUANTITY
MAXIM OF
RELEVANCE
L MAXIMS The assumption The assumption
Specific rules that that others will that others will
LANGUAGE respond in
cooperating partners provide an
A symbolic system coherent ways
count on others to appropriate
used by people to to what has
follow. amount of
communicate verbal been previously
or written messages. information.
said.

MAXIM OF MAXIM OF
LEXICON - The collection of QUALITY MANNER
words and expressions in a The assumption The assumption
language. that others will that others will
PHONOLOGY - The sounds used tell the truth. say things in an
to pronounce words. orderly way

SYNTAX AND GRAMMAR- The PRAGMATIC MEANING - Meaning

rules for combining words into
larger units of expression.
LANGUAGE COMMUNITY - All people
who can speak or understand a
particular language.
SPEECH COMMUNITY - The
members of a larger language
community who speak a common
dialect with a particular style and
of a verbal message that arises
from understanding the practical IMPROVING PRAGMATIC
consequences of an utterance.
SLANG - The informal vocabulary UNDERSTANDING
developed and used by a particular 1. Interpret a message within its
co-cultural groups. context.
JARGON - Technical terminology 2. Avoid excessive maxim
whose meaning is understood by
only a select group of people in a
violation.
specialized speech community 3. Consider acknowledging that
based on shared activities or
LEAN MEDIA- Media that rely
heavily on language and other
symbols, such as emoticons or
emojis, to convey meaning.
RICH MEDIA - Media where
meaning can be conveyed
through both verbal and
nonverbal behavior.
DIRECT VERBAL STYLE -
Language that openly states the
speaker’s intention that is
straightforward and
unambiguous.
INDIRECT VERBAL STYLE -
Language that masks the
speaker’s true intentions and
roundabout, vague message
content whose real meaning is
embedded in the social or cultural
context.
SPEECH ACT - The action that
the speaker takes by uttering a
verbal message.
CONCRETE LANGUAGE - Words
that describe something that can
be sensed.
SOCIOLINGUISTIC IMPROVING SOCIOLINGUISTIC
MEANING - The UNDERSTANDING
meaning of verbal
1. Develop intercultural competence.
messages that varies
2. Practice mindfulness.
according to the 3. Recognize, respect, and adapt to the
language norms and sociolinguistic practices of others.
expectations of a
particular cultural or co-
cultural group. COOPERATIVE PRINCIPLE - The
pragmatic principle that states that
conversational partners are able to
understand what the other means
to do with their verbal messages
because they assume that their
partners are collaborating sharing
verbal messages in line with the
shared purpose of the
conversation.
IDIOMS - Expressions used by
members of a language or speech
community whose meaning differs
from the usual meanings
associated with that combination of
words.
MINDFULNESS - The process of
drawing novel distinctions.
 The primary form of communication with those outside of your home is online. It is important
to check the source that you are receiving information from while surfing the internet. There
is heavy maxim violation online in regards to news, coronavirus updates, etc. Social media
platforms make it very easy to stay up-to-date on the news but you also must fact-check the
sources. All maxims are easily and frequently violated on social media platforms, so stay
aware of this and be weary of the information you choose to believe.
Over time, people have developed a new form of language through technology. Slang, jargon, idioms are
bound to develop, making it difficult to interpret the true meaning behind some online messaging. It is
important to be mindful of this and try to interpret the true statement that the source is trying to put out. It
can be difficult to determine if someone is exaggerating or using sarcasm, rich media or lean media online, so
when conducting your own messages be aware of this and try to make the statement as clear as possible.

TIPS
Be careful of the information you consume from social media. Maxim violation is
heavy on social media and should always be fact-checked.

1
Be aware of how people may interpret your messages through technology. It can
be difficult to interpret the true sociolinguistic meaning of another person’s
2 online messaging so take an extra minute to think about how to correctly display
your message if you must.
Follow the steps to improving sociolinguistic meaning to improve your social skills
with others. This will be helpful both in-person, and online. The more patience
3 and understanding that you have with others’ messages and their
interpretations, the better communicator you will be.
Nonverbal
Messages
Ch
5
NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION -
or written words.
FIVE
CHARACTERISTI
CS
1. Nonverbal communication can be
intentional or unintentional.
2. Nonverbal messages are primary.
3. Nonverbal communication is
continuous.
4. Nonverbal messages are multi-
channeled.
5. Nonverbal behavior is frequently
FIVE FUNCTIONS
ambiguous.
1. Nonverbal behaviors provide information.
2. Nonverbal behaviors regulate interaction.
3. Nonverbal behaviors express emotions.
4. Nonverbal behaviors manage
impressions and identities.
5. Nonverbal behaviors express dominance
and affliction.
All human communication that transcends spoken
BODY LANGUAGE - The
intentional or unintentional
movement of various body
parts that sends nonverbal
KINESICS - The study of messages.
body language.
1. Eye Contact
Conveys meanings that vary with
PARALANGUAGE - Using person, situation, and culture, but
voice to convey meaning often has something to do with
attention, response or dominance.
2. Facial Expression
FIVE VOCAL Important in conveying six basic
CHARACTERISTICS OF emotions: happiness, sadness,
surprise, fear, anger and disgust.
PARALANGUAGE Provide nonverbal feedback to
speakers.
1. Pitch 3. Gesture & Emblems
2. Volume Using hang, arm and finger
movement to replace, complement
3. Rate
and augment a verbal message.
4. Quality Emblems are gestures that
5. Intonation substitute completely for words.
4. Posture & Body
EXPECTANCY VIOLATIONS - orientation
Behaviors that are Position and movement of the
different from what we whole body. Body orientation refers
to your position in relation to

NONVERBAL
COMMUNICATI
ON IN TEXT
We embed and embody our
gestures in our language by
finding new ways of
“keeping in touch” in digital
environments.
Examples:
● Pointing to things
(liking, favoriting)
● Imitating hand
gestures (*slow
clap*)
● Text emotions or
cognitive states
(emojis, <3 hearts)
● Cultural nonverbal
messages in text
format (LOL, SMH)
INTERPRETING NONVERBAL USE OF SPACE
MESSAGES
1. Personal space
1. Be mindful that most nonverbal
- Intimate distance, personal
behaviors are not emblems.
distance, social distance, and
2. Recognize culture, gender, and
public distance.
other diversity when interpreting
1. Acoustic space
nonverbal cues.
2. Territory
3. Attend to all of the nonverbal cues
3. Furnishings
and their relationship to the verbal
message.
4. Use the skill of perception checking.
SENDING NONVERBAL SELF-PRESENTATION
MESSAGES 1. Physical appearance
1. Be mindful of the nonverbal behavior - How you look to others.
you are displaying 1. Artifacts
2. Adapt your nonverbal behaviors to - The objects we own for personal
your purpose. use
3. Adapt your nonverbal behavior to 1. Olfactory cues
the situation. - Messages through smells
4. Align your nonverbal cues with your 1. Use of time
verbal communication. - Being on time vs. being late
5. Eliminate nonverbal behaviors that
distract from your verbal message.
 The way you present yourself when communicating with others is very important for in-person
communication. Things like body language, eye contact and how you look will impact the way
the person you are communicating with will view you and what you are saying. This translates
to your online presence as well. It is crucial that you pay attention to the way you present
yourself online including what you say, what you look like in your profile photo, what you repost,
etc. Unfortunately, humans are judgmental beings and make snap judgments. Portray your
authentic self online but monitor your personal pages to make sure they portray you in the way
that
We are lucky to be you want others
experiencing to remember
quarantine during ayou.
technology age where we can still effective communicate
feelings, messages and emotions to others, even if we can physically see them in person. Using emojis, gifs,
memes, and more can help to accurately demonstrate your feelings online. Use them! They can help to
accurately portray feelings and even lighten the mood in some cases.

TIPS
Use digital communication techniques that help to demonstrate body language and
emotion, such as emojis, gifs, favoriting, liking and more. These will help others to
get a sense of what you are like to communicate with in person.
1
Monitor your social media presence including what you post and repost, the
pictures you post of yourself, the language you choose to use, and more.
2
Understand why nonverbal messages are important and how they can impact the
interactions that you have with others. Look over the lists provided in the first
3 slide of chapter 5 to grasp the scope of nonverbal communication.
Communicat

Ch
ion in the
Life Cycle of
Relationship
s
6
 BEGINNING - Predicted outcome theory suggests that we use our early
LIFE CYCLE OF RELATIONSHIPS
conversations with potential relationship partners to gather information that allows
us to predict whether the benefits of future interactions will outweigh the costs.
During this stage we share basic demographic information and evaluate the other
person based on physical attractiveness, social skills and responsiveness to our
overtures. During the second phase, we share somewhat more person information,
We learn about the other’s attitudes, beliefs and values. In the third phase, the two
people will decide whether they are compatible enough to keep meeting.
DEVELOPING - In this stage we build the relationship using self-disclosure and
sharing joined activities. Two theories help us to define developing relationships.
DECLIN Interpersonal needs theory states that we all have inclusion, affection and control
ING BEGINNI needs that we try to meet through relationships. Inclusion need is the desire to be
around others, affection needs are the desire to love and be loved and control needs
NG are desire to influence events/others and to be influenced by others. Social exchange
theory explains that we continue to develop a relationship based off of relationship
rewards and costs. Relationship rewards are what we gain from the relationship,
SUSTAINING
while costs are the -time and energy
To sustain we spendpeople
relationships, trying use
to develop the
prosocial relationship.
behaviors by being
friendly and polite to one another. People also continue to observe ceremonial
occasions such as birthdays and anniversaries and go on vacations to spend time
together. Making a habit to spend time with one another and with mutual friends can
SUSTAIN help to maintain a strong relationship. Communicating frequently and talking about
ING deep topics along with everyday topics will help to keep relationships fresh. Those
DEVELOPI who sustain relationships exchange words and actions that acknowledge their
NG continuing commitment, affection and trustworthiness for the other person. The last
thing that can help sustain a relationship is sharing responsibilities with one another.
DECLINING - During this stage interdependence, commitment, understanding and
predictability, trust and disclosure all decrease. Neglect or conflict in a relationship can
cause it to diminish. Options when feeling dissatisfaction are: ignore your dissatisfaction,
talk about it with the partner, or both partners may begin to disengage from the
relationship. Sometimes partners may agree to a relationship transformation which is
continuing to interact and influence a partner through a different type of relationship
after one type of relationship has ended, such as a friendship or a “business”
relationship. When the relationship can’t be managed on any level it ends.
 BOUNDARY COMMUNICATION
TURBULENC PRIVACY SELF-DISCLOSURE GUIDELINES
E
Interpersonal AMANAGEMENT
difficulty A framework for
framework for 1. Self-disclose the kind of information that
THEORY
understanding
associated with understanding you want others to disclose to you.
the
the decision-
decision- 2. Self-disclose information appropriate for
violation of a making
privacy making process
process COLLAPSED the type of relationship you have.
people
people use
use to
to 3. Self-disclose more intimate information
boundary manage CONTEXTS
manage private
private The merging of only when you believe the disclosure
information.
information. represent as acceptable risk.
SOCIAL public and
4. Be sensitive to your partner’s ability to
ThePENETRATION private contexts
The premise
premise that
that absorb your disclosure.
THEORY
self-disclosure as a
self-disclosure isis BOUNDARY 5. Continue intimate self-disclosure only
integral to all consequence of when it is reciprocated.
integral to all MANAGEME
stages social media
stages ofof NT of
Discussion
relationships,
relationships, but
but
the nature and who is allowed
the nature and to co-own
type
type of
of self-
self-
SELF-DISCLOSURE GUIDELINES COMMUNICA
disclosure private
disclosure change
change information 1. Recognize that others’ rules for privacy TION
over
over time
time may be different from your own. PRIVACY
2. Treat co-ownership of information as a
INFORMATION
privilege, not a right or opportunity.
MANAGEME
CO-OWNERS 3. Respect others’ stated (and implied) NT RULES
PRIVACY
People who share privacy boundaries. 1. Culture.
Withholding private information 4. Ask to determine others’ privacy
confidential 2. Gender
because one person boundaries.
information to 3. Motivation
has shared it with 5. Communicate your personal privacy
enhance the other, or both boundaries. 4. Context
autonomy or have shared the 6. Repair boundary turbulence with sincere
minimize same experience apologies and assurances of future care
vulnerability
 It may be difficult to build and sustain relationships with others while in quarantine, but I am
here to help! Even though it may feel almost impossible to build new and existing
relationships during this time, it doesn’t have to feel this way. The most important thing to
understand is that relationships take time and work, no matter what kind of relationship it
is. In order to build a solid relationship with someone you must understand each other and
be willing to put in the work to maintain it.
The strategies provided throughout this chapter can help us to understand when a relationship begins to fail and
how to prevent it from happening. Staying present in the other person’s life, actively listening to them, fulfilling
their relationship needs and being aware of your own relationship needs are all great ways to ensure a strong
relationship with others. It is also helpful to understand self disclosure guidelines, privacy needs and boundaries
in order to establish what you need in a relationship and help others to feel comfortable around you. Listed
TIPS
below are some tips from chapter 6 on how to help your relationships during this time.

Know the appropriate time and place for self-disclosure. What you say, how you
say it, and when and where you disclose information are crucial and if done
wrong, can make the other person feel very uncomfortable.
1
Understanding the relationship life cycle can help to understand how
relationships work and can help to maintain your relationships better. Study the
2 best ways to sustain a relationship and implement them in your own
relationships.
If you feel it is time to end a relationship with another person, be open and honest
3 with them and clearly state your wish to end the relationship. Be respectful and
sensitive to the other person and their emotions during the discussion. Do not
place blame or manipulate and just explain how you are feeling.
Listening

Ch
Effectively

7
LISTENING
EFFECTIVELY
CRITICAL LISTENING STYLE -
A personal listening style
that focuses attention on
the accuracy and
consistency of ‘speakers’
messages.
RELATIONAL LISTENING
STYLE - A personal listening
LISTENING style that focuses on what a
STYLE your message tells us about our
favored but conversational partners and
usually their feelings
ANALYTIC LISTENING STYLE
unconscious
- A personal listening style
approach to
with a focus on gathering
your partner’s
information and thinking
messages.
carefully about what is said.
TRANSACTIONAL STYLE - A
personal listening style that
prefers speakers who
remain on talk and “get to
CLARIFYING
the point”.
QUESTION - A
response designed
to get further
REMEMBERING
information or to The process of moving
remove uncertainty information from short-term
from information memory to long-term
ATTENDING
Questions
PROBING
that search for
QUESTIONS The process of willfully
more information or try to striving to perceive selected
resolve perceived sounds that are being heard.
inconsistencies in a
message.
FACTS LISTENING
Statements whose accuracy The process of receiving,
can be verified or proven. constructing meaning from,
and responding to spoken
INTERFERENCE and/or nonverbal messages
Claims or assertions
S based
on the facts presented. LISTENING APPREHENSION
The anxiety we feel about
listening that interferes with
MNEMONIC our ability to be effective
A learning technique that
DEVICE listener.s.
associates a special word or
short statement with new ACTIVE LISTENING
and longer information. The skillful, intentional,
deliberate, conscious
CRITICALLY
process of attending to,
EVALUATING
The process of determining
understanding,
how truthful, authentic, or remembering, critically
believable you judge the
evaluating and responding
message and the speaker to to messages that we hear.
be. PASSIVE LISTENING
PROBING
The effortless, thoughtless,
QUESTIONS
Questions that search for more
and habitual process of
information or try to resolve
receiving the messages we
perceived inconsistencies in a
 ACTIVE LISTENING PROCESS
ATTENDING UNDERSTAND REMEMBERIN CRITICALLY RESPONDING
ING G EVALUATING
1. Get physically 1. Identify the 1. Repeat what 1. Provide back-
1. Separate
and mentally speaker’s was said. channel cues.
facts from
ready to purpose and 2. Create 2. Reply only
interferences
attend key points. mnemonics. when the
.
2. Make the shift 2. Interpret 3. Take notes. message is
2. Probe for
from speaker nonverbal complete.
information.
to listener a cues. 3. Respond to
complete one. 3. Ask clarifying the previous
3. Stay tuned in. questions. message
4. Paraphrase before
what you changing the
BACK-CHANNEL hear. subject.
FEELINGS PARAPHRASE
DIGITAL COMMUNICATION
CUES
Verbal and nonverbal LITERACY
The ability to critically attend to, A feedback message that conveys
signals that indicate you understanding of the emotional meaning
analyze, evaluate, and express
are listening and behind a speaker’s verbal message
digital messages.
attempting to understand
the message. CONTENT PRIMACY RECENCY
A feedback message that
PARAPHRASE
FEELINGS PARAPHRASE The EFFECT
tendency to The EFFECT
tendency to
A feedback message that conveys understanding of the remember information remember information
conveys understanding of denotative meaning of a verbal that we heard first that we heard last
the emotional meaning message over what we heard in over what we heard in
behind a speaker’s verbal the middle the middle.
 Listening is one of the best skills to have in all kinds of relationships. All anyone wants is to
feel that their voice is being heard. By actively listening to another person without any
distractions, you can connect with the person on a greater level. You will begin to learn more
about the other person and the message they are trying to send to you. It also helps to build a
relationship if you remember what they say and repeat it back to them, whether it be
immediately or at a later point in time. It shows that you care about what the person said to
you, and that the conversation mattered to you.
By following the active listening process of attending, understanding, remembering, critically evaluating and
responding, you can create deeper connections and validate the other person’s feelings. Passive listening is
something that is an automatic response for most people, but if you can train yourself to actively listen when
people talk to you, it will make for more positive relationships. Showing on your body that you are listening is
important too. Use back-channel cues to help show others that you are listening.
TIPS
Actively listen to others when they speak to show them that you interested in
what they are saying and that their feelings and messages are valid.

1
Work on your online messaging, and “listening skills” online. Before responding
to an online message, make sure that you fully grasp the meaning of what they
2 are saying, and if you don’t, ask for clarification.

Paraphrase what someone says back to them to show the other person that you
3 are listening to them. Feedback paraphrase and content paraphrasing is a great
way to deepen a conversation.
 Holding

Ch
Effective
Conversatio
ns

8
HOLDING EFFECTIVE CONVERSATIONS 1. Conversations are interactive.
CHARACTERISTICS OF
FORMALITY - 2. Conversations are
CONVERSATIONS
CONVERSATION PURPOSE - Degree to which a extemporaneous
What the conversation is conversation 3. Conversations are locally
intended to do follows scripted managed
Some are meant to entertain while
others are meant to persuade, norms, rules, and 4. Conversations are sequentially
inform, to pass time, or to get procedure.s. organized.
VARIATION IN CONVERSATION TONE - Emotional and
acquainted with someone.
CONVERSATION relational quality, or how it feels “inside”
CONVERSATION TONE - Emotional and the interaction.
1.Conversational
relational quality, or how it feels “inside”
the interaction.
Types CO-NARRATION - specific type of
SMALL TALK - A type of 2.Purposes conversational sequencing in which
conversation focused on 3.Sequence people finish each other’s sentences
inconsequential topics such as the 4.Tone because they have intimate knowledge
of the topic and each other’s style
weather, uncontroversial news 5.Participants
topics, harmless facts, and GENERAL CONVERSATION
6.Setting
predictions. GUIDELINES
GOSSIP - Discussion of people who
1.Focus on your partner.
are not present for the
2.Engage in appropriate turn-
conversation.
taking.
CONVERSATION - An interactive,
extemporaneous, locally managed, and
3.Maintain conversational
sequentially organized interchange of coherence.
thoughts and feelings between two or 4.Protect privacy.
more people 5.Engage in ethical dialogue.
CONVERSATIONS AND DIGITAL
PRESENCE
CONVERSATIONAL COHERENCE -
The extent to which the
comments made by one person
relate to those made previously
by others in a conversation.
ETHICAL DIALOGUE - A
conversation characterized by
authenticity, empathy,
confirmation, presentness,
equality, and supportiveness.
BENIGN VIOLATION - The idea that
humor is created from behavior
that is unexpected, but not
harmful
RITUAL QUESTION - A question
about the other person or the
situation that is easy to answer
and doesn’t pry into personal
matters
SOCIAL PRESENCE - Your
personal sense that in a
particular moment your
conversational partners are
STARTING A CONVERSATION immediately available to
1. Make a comment ABRUPTNESS OF
you - even if they aren’t
2. Ask a question DISENGAGEMENT - Digital
3. Introduce yourself. conversations sometimes
lack clear beginnings and
4. Pay attention to
SUSTAINING A cues.
nonverbal endings. Try not to get
CONVERSATION offended by this and try
1. Use free information. following
AWARENESS up with another
OF AUDIENCE-
2. Ask questions. message.
When online you don’t
3. Seek out topics of always know who will read
interest to the other the message you put out.
person. Always keep intended and
4. Self-disclose
CLOSING A CONVERSATION MULTIPLICITY
unintended OF
audiences in
appropriately.
1. Notice and use leave- CONVERSATIONS - It is hard
mind.
taking cues. to control and keep of track
2. Verbalize your desire to of different conversations
end the conversation that may occur on an online
3. Ask to see the person post. This can be
again if appropriate. problematic. Avoid “split-
attention during
4. Close with a brief stock
conversations both face-to-
 We converse with others on a daily basis both online and in person, so it may seem redundant
to go over the best ways to have a conversation. Because digital communication is so
prevalent now, many people prefer to have conversations through technology. Having digital
conversations eliminates the possibility of embarrassment and vulnerability that occurs when
communicating face-to-face communication. It could be useful for all of us to brush up on our
conversation and communication skills while in quarantine.
It can also help to improve relationships with others by eliminating talking about others when they are not
around, and having conversations that are greater than small talk. Try to make deeper connections with people
by having conversations that work to get to know others better. Following the guidelines for beginning,
sustaining and ending conversations and help to make sure that the conversations you have with others are
efficient and achieve the conversation goals you may have. Here are some tips on having and holding more
meaningful conversations:
TIPS
Try to eliminate gossiping from your conversational habits. Gossiping tends to get
people in trouble and hurt others’ feelings so work to refrain from gossiping with
others.
1
Avoid split-attention within conversations to ensure that the person you are
talking to gets your full attention. Splitting attention by doing something else
2 while holding the conversation can cause distraction and lead to passive
listening. The other person may feel neglected.
Follow the steps to starting, holding and closing conversations appropriately in

3 order to prevent awkwardness. In a day where most conversations are digital, it

is important to study up on how to hold effective conversations so we can do so
in the workplace and in social situations.
Supporting
Others Ch
9
SUPPORTING
OTHERS SUPPORTIVE INTERACTIONS - Conversations
in which the goal is to provide emotional
support for one partner.
EMPATHY - the cognitive and
affective process of perceiving the SOCIAL SUPPORT - The assistance we provide
emotions others are feeling and to others who we believe need our aid.
then acting on our perception.
THREE TYPES OF EMPATHY
PHASE PHASE PHASE PHASE
1
SUPPORT 2
SUPPORT 3 4
RECIPIENT PROVIDER
PERSPECTIVE SYMPATHETIC EMPATHETIC OTHERS PROVISION REACTION RESPONSE
TALKING RESPONSIVENE RESPONSIVENE
Empathizing by SS by SS
Empathizing Personally
using
feeling experiencing
everything we
concern, an emotional
SUPPORTIVE CLIMATE - A conversational
know about our
partners and
compassion, or response that environment in which recipients will feel
sorrow for
our partners’
another person
is parallel to comfortable disclosing their problems and
circumstances the other
because he or person’s actual feelings.
to help us
she is in a or anticipated
understand
distressing display of Promote
how they are
situation. Emphasi Promise - Convey Convey
feeling. emotions. elaborati
ze your and keep - accepta warmth
IMPROVING EMPATHY - Pay attention to on with
desire confidenti nce and and
nonverbal and paralanguage cues., pay attention question
and ality affiliatio caring
to the emotional content of the verbal message s and
availabili n nonverb
and use the skill of perception checking. brief
ty to ally

APPRAISAL THEORIES OF
EMOTION - Theories that
hypothesis that what we feel
arises from what we think
PROMOTING ACTION WITH
ADVICE -
1. Ask for permission to give
advice
2. Briefly describe any
expertise relevant to the
advice
3. Explain why you believe
the advised action is
effective and feasible
4. Address any limitations or
drawbacks
5. Phrase recommendation
as a suggestion.
ADVICE - A recommendation
about actions to take in
response to a problem
INCREASED SOCIAL DISTANCE - Digital communication provides a platform for people to disclose
information to someone that they would be uncomfortable discussing face-to-face. Many people disclose a lot
of information online because it is easy to do so, and it easy to mask the emotions that the person may be
feeling on the other end.
COGNITIVE-EMOTIONAL
THEORY OF ESTEEM
SUPPORT MESSAGES -
The theory that support
providers can help restore self-
esteem and promote problem-
solving by encouraging more
positive reappraisals
CAPITALIZATION - The process
of sharing our successes and
leveraging the good feelings that
come from them by telling
others, with the expectation that
they will celebrate with us
CELEBRATORY SUPPORT -
The skill of helping others
capitalize on their success
TRANSCORPOREAL
COMMUNICATION - A process
through which a living person
sends a digital message to a
deceased person through a
website or social networking
site.
THEORY OF
CONVERSATIONALLY
INDUCED REAPPRAISALS -
The theory that having our
emotions recognized and
understood results in relief,
which allows us to look for other
explanations for how we feel and
steps we can take to make the
situation better.
REAPPRAISE - Revise one’s
perspective
ENCOURAGING
REAPPRAISAL - Offering
information, observations, and
opinions that help the support
recipients reframe the situation
so that they see it in a different
light that is not associated with
strong emotion.
 Supporting others is one of the best ways to ensure that relationships stay strong. When
people are going through something serious in their personal lives, they appreciate knowing
that others are there for them and understand what they are going through. By empathizing,
sympathizing and taking another person’s perspective, you can move toward becoming a
supportive partner, friend, boss or coworker. Being supportive to others is a very admirable
trait that people are drawn to and commend.
While it is not your place to be someone’s therapist, it is important to listen to people talk about how they feel
and what they are going through every once in a while. During this pandemic, everyone is impacted in someway
so it is likely that the people you interact with daily are experiencing emotions that they don’t normally. Actively
listen, provide advice if you have it and show the person that you are there for them. This will likely be through
phone calls, video calls or through a text message online, so it may be more difficult to display the true emotions
that you have, but do your best to show support for other people when they need it. Below are some tips on how
to show support for others during this time: TIPS
Actively listen when someone opens up to you. Let them know that you hear
what they are saying and while you may not be able to relate to the situation,
you empathize with them and care about how they are doing.
1
Let the person know that you are there for them and you support them and how
they are feeling. Vaildate their feelings and emotions and let them know that
2 they are not alone.

Carefully give advice on what you think the other person should do. Read through
3 the steps to giving advice and make sure that the advice you give the person is
appropriate and looks out for the person’s best interest.
 Ch
Using Interpersonal
Influence

1
.
USING INTERPERSONAL INFLUENCE
POWER - the commonly accepted preference for some states of affairs over others.

COERCIVE POWER REWARD POWER LEGITIMATE EXPERT POWER REFERENT

The potential to POWER
The potential to The ability to POWER
The potential to The potential to
influence rooted influence rooted influence others influence rooted influence rooted
in our ability to in our ability to rooted in the in someone’s in linking, respect,
physically or provide authority granted subject-specific or admiration.
psychologically something our to a person who knowledge and
punish our partner values occupies a certain competence.
partner. and cannot easily role.
get from someone
else.
COMPLAINT - A message
telling someone that what is MASSPERSONAL - A term used to
or has occurred is describe media such as Facebook PRINCIPLES OF POWER
unacceptable because it has that disseminate personal messages
to a large audience. 1. Power is a perception, not a fact.
violated your rights or 2. Power exists within a
expectations.
relationship.
CHANGE REQUESTS - ELECTRONIC WORD OF MOUTH 3. Power is not inherently good or
Messages that direct others (eWOM) - Information, opinion, or bad.
how to change their behavior advice about an organization’s 4. The person with greater power in
to show greater respect for products or services that is a relationship can make and
our rights or expectations. electronically shared by an individual break the rules for the
PERSUASION- The use of verbal messages designed to influence the attitudes and behaviors of
PERSUADING AUTOMATIC
PROCESSORS
1. Reciprocity Heuristic
Repay in kind.
2. Social Proof Heuristic
Do what others do - follow the
crowd.
3. Liking Heuristic
Do what your friends do.
4. Authority Heuristic
Do what the experts advise.
5. Consistency Heuristic
Be consistent.
6. Scarcity Heuristic
Get what is in short supply
MINIMAL EFFECTIVE
RESPONSE - What you need
to feel that your rights and
expectations are respected,
not everything you might
others.
PERSUADING EXTENSIVE
PROCESSORS
1. Quality of the
reasoning.
2. Source credibility.
3. Honest emotional
appeals.
ASSERTIVENESS - The skill of
sending messages that
declare and defend personal
rights and expectations in a
clear, direct, and honest
manner while still respecting
the preferences and rights of
others.
COMPLAINT - A message
telling someone that what is
or has occurred is
unacceptable because it has
violated your rights or
expectations.
APPROACHES TO COMMUNICATING
RIGHTS AND EXPECTATIONS
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE
APPROACH APPROACH
Sending messages
Concealing your
that attack another
feelings rather
person’s self-
than voicing your
esteem or express
rights and
personal hostility
expectations to
for perceived
others.
violations of rights
or expectations
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR -
Messages that indirectly express hostility.
ARGUMENTATIVENESS - Defending our own
ideas or attacking the reasoning of others
while according them respect.
FLAMING - Sending an aggressive message
using social media.
 The aspects covered in chapter 10 play a large role in the effectiveness of a conversation and
have high capability of causing conflict if done incorrectly. Aggressive and passive aggressive
behavior can cause anger in a lot of people and can allow for a meta conflict to arise. To ensure
that this doesn’t happen, study the ways different approaches to communicating rights and
expectations and think about how you tend to react when you feel that your rights or
expectations have been violated. It is likely that at some point in your life, you will feel violated
by the things that someone says to you, or how a situation plays out. This is a common thing,
and not
You should also think everyone
about will you
those who get along all of
surround the time.
yourself withWhat matters
everyday, is how
and you react
the impact thattothey
the situation
may have
and understanding how to make sure a conflict does not come of what happens.
on the decisions you make. My mother always told me, “You are a combination of the five people that you hang
around the most.” You adopt little pieces of each person that you surround yourself with and whether it is
intentional or unintentional, you are persuaded by these people to make decisions. When it comes to having
conversations with others, make sure that you adopt the positive social attributes that your closest friends have.
TIPS
If someone violates your rights and expectations, be assertive and let them know
that you will not tolerate it, while also taking their rights and expectations into
consideration. Don’t feel bad for standing up for yourself, but make sure you
1 aren’t becoming part of the problem.
Don’t hold back from making a complaint if something isn’t sitting right with you.
In situations where a large group of people is impacted by what is happening,
make sure that you are looking out for the greater good of the people. Understand
2 that sometimes people make mistakes and work to figure out the problem
together to move past it.
Those in power should stand as leaders for others. If you are in a position of
3 power, make sure you are looking out for others and following rules as you are
supposed to. Abusing the power you are given can cause distrust and resent from
those who could potentially follow you.
 Ch
Conflict

1
.
 TYPES OF
PSEUDO CONFLICT - Disagreement CONFLICT POLICY CONFLICT - A
that is caused by a perceptual disagreement caused by differences
difference between partners and is over a preferred plan or course of
easily resolved. action.
Interpersonal
conflict:
FACT CONFLICT - A disagreement Disagreement EGO CONFLICT - A disagreement
caused by a dispute over truth or between two that results when both parties insist
accuracy of an item of information. interdependent on being the “winner” of the
people who argument to confirm their self-
perceive that concept or self-esteem.
they have
VALUE CONFLICT - A disagreement incompatible META CONFLICT - A disagreement
caused by differences over a goals over the process of communication
preferred plan or course of action. itself during an argument.

COMPROMISING - resolving a COLLABORATING - resolving a conflict by

WITHDRAWING - Resolving a
conflict by bargaining so that using problem solving to arrive at a
conflict or psychologically
each partner’s needs or solution that meets the needs and
removing yourself from the
interests are partially satisfied interests of both parties in the conflict
conversation.
COMPETING - resolving a conflict by
ACCOMMODATING - Resolving a conflict SERIAL ARGUING - a conflict
satisfying one’s own needs or
by satisfying the other person’s needs pattern in which partners
advancing one’s own ideas with little
or accepting the person’s ideas while argue about the same issue
concern for the needs or ideas of the
neglecting one’s own needs or ideas. two or more times
other person or for the relationship

Self-face orientation - the inclination to
uphold and protect our self-image in
our interactions with others
FLAMING - Digital communication
that displays hostility through
insults, profanity and other
offensive language.
GUIDELINES FOR IF YOU ARE THE
TARGET OF FLAMING:
1. Respond privately
2. Ignore the flame entirely
3. Respond in ways that non-
flamers can support
4. Ask an authority figure to
intervene.
Face negotiation theory - proposes that in
conflict settings we prefer conflict styles
consistent with our cultures and the face-
orientations most consistent with those
cultures
MANAGING
ONLINE
CONFLICT
CYBER-BULLYING - The extension of
bullying behavior to electronic
communication of any kind.
CYBERSTALKING - A variation of cyber-
bullying that occurs when an individual
repeatedly uses social media to shadow
or harass others.
Self-construal - how you see yourself
Principle of negative reciprocity - the
proposition that we repay negative
treatment with negative treatment
Guidelines for collaborative response to
conflict initiation
1. Put your shields up
2. Respond empathetically with genuine
interest and concern
3. Ask questions to clarify issues and
paraphrase your understanding of the
problem
4. Find common ground by agreeing with
some aspect of the complaint
5. Ask the initiator to suggest solutions.
Initiating a collaborative conflict
conversation
1. Mentally rehearse what you will say
before confronting the other person
2. Recognize and state ownership of the
conflict
3. Describe the conflict in terms of
behavior, consequences and feelings
4. Do not blame or ascribe motives
5. Keep it short
6. Be sure the other person understands
your position.
7. Phrase your preferred solution to focus
on common ground
 Conflict is one of the most misunderstood aspects of interpersonal communication. It is
difficult to know the best ways to manage conflict with others because each conflict is
different with each person that the conflict arises. The most important thing to remember in
a conflict is to be patient. It is easy to let our anger get the best of us when debating,
arguing, or disagreeing with someone. If you need to, take a step back and allow yourself to
calm down, and come back to it after letting the anger subside.
During a conflict, it is important to carefully think through the messages you choose to send. Decide if the
message you are trying to convey is relevant, necessary or will add substance to the conversation. If the
comment does not do any of those things, it should most likely be left out of the discussion. Make sure that you
take the other person’s feelings into consideration, especially when communicating electronically. Digital
conversations are easy to misinterpret so if possible, avoid text conflicts and try to work everything out face-to-
face. Because of quarantines, this may not be available so make sure that you carefully plan out what you are
TIPS
going to say, when you will say it and how you will say it.

Study up on the different kinds of conflict and be able to spot the types within
your own interactions with others. If you can identify the kind of conflict that has
developed, it will be easier to come to a solution.
1
It is important to stay away from serial-arguing, cross complaining,
counterblaming, and competing conflict strategies in order to prevent meta and
2 ego conflicts. These kinds of conflicts can become dangerous and toxic and can
cause issues in relationships down-the-line.
Monitor your behavior online and avoid online conflict. Conflict online can lead to
3 unresolved problems. It is hard to resolve conflict without face-to-face
interaction.
Communicating in

Ch
Intimate
Relationships

1
.
COMMUNICATING IN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS
INTIMATE
RELATIONSHIPS - Close
relationships that have
highly interdependent
partners who are
committed to each other,
understand and trust one
another deeply, and
disclose
INTIMATEinINTERACTIONS
depth as well -
as breadth.
Series of conversations
between the patterns that
nurture interdependence,
commitment, understanding,
trust, and disclosure.
LONG-TERM ROMANTIC
RELATIONSHIPS
(LTRRs) - Enduring
romantic relationships that
are intimate and where
the partners have made
some type of long-term
commitment to each
CHARACTERISTICS OF
SUCCESSFUL LTRRs
1. Mutual Respect
2. Presence of a shared
plan or life vision.
3. Comfortable level of
closeness.
RELATIONAL
MAINTENANCE -
Exchanging messages or
behaving in ways that
keep a relationship at a
desired level of intimacy,
satisfaction, and health
ROUTINE RELATIONAL
MAINTENANCE -
Messages and behaviors
that are performed without
any deliberate intention to
affect the relationship but
have the effect of
preserving intimacy.
EGALITARIAN
RELATIONSHIP - A
relationship where
partners agree to what
each will contribute to
their shared life and that
their individual
contributions are equally FAMILY - The
actions of choices of
valued.
LIFE TRANSITIONS -
one partner that
Major events that not only
create obstacles for
affect one partner, but the other.
also require adaptation
within the relationship. RELATIONAL
UNCERTAINTY - Lack
of confidence in a
STRATEGIC relationship.
RELATIONAL
MAINTENANCE - INTERFERENCE -
Messages and behaviors The actions of
are deliberately performed choices of one
in order to maintain the partner that create
level of intimacy in the obstacles for the
relationship. other.
DISMISSIVE ATTACHMENT STYLE - SECURE ATTACHMENT STYLE - The AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT - The inability
The attachment style experienced by a self- attachment style experienced by an of a child to emotionally bond with or trust
reliant and independent adult who has adult who is able to easily form intimate others based on the belief that they are
difficulty sustaining close relationships relationships because they have high worthy of care but view others as
because, while they may have high self- self-worth and trust others due to the untrustworthy, which results from
worth, they don’t trust others due to the secure attachments they experienced as experiencing severe neglect as an infant.
avoidant attachments they experienced as infants and children.
infants and children. STYLE - The
PREOCCUPIED ATTACHMENT FEARFUL ATTACHMENT STYLE - The FAMILY - A
attachment style experienced by an adult who is attachment style experienced by an adult for self-defined
excessively focused on how their relationship
whom it is difficult to form intimate relationships group of
partners think about and behave toward them
because they have lower self-worth and high trust
because they don’t believe that they are worthy of intimates who
in others due to the anxious-ambivalent a good relationship and they don’t trust others to create and
attachments they experienced as infants and meet their relationship needs due to the anxious- maintain
children ambivalent attachments they experienced as themselves
infants or children. through their
ANXIOUS-AMBIVALENT ATTACHMENT STYLES - The perception of CONVERSATION own
ATTACHMENT - An anxiety-filled adults about their self-worth and the ORIENTATION - The interactions and
emotional bond between infants trustworthiness of others based on their richness of family, their
and their parents or caregivers relationships with their parents and interaction, including how FICTIVE KIN -
interactions
stemming from worry that their caregivers during their infancy and childhood. frequently and People
with others. are
who
needs will not be met and spontaneously members considered
AUTHORITARIAN PARENTING STYLE - family members
ambivalence about whether others interact, sharing thoughts
A parenting style characterized by high levels even though
can be trusted to care for them. on many topics, and
of control with low levels of nurturing; order there are no
including
CONFORMITY children in
AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING and tradition, respect, and obedience of
decision-making. genetic or
STYLE - A parenting style parents is valued and reinforced through ORIENTATION - The marital ties.
punishment.
PERMISSIVE PARENTING STYLE - A extent of a family’s
characterized by firm control
balanced with ample nurturing; parenting style characterized by moderate to willingness to listen to and
socializing children to become high levels of nurturing but little control over value diverse ideas, and
empowered and caring adults is children’s behavior; creativity and freedom the degree to which family
valued and reinforced by setting are valued, rules and demands are few, and members are encouraged
 Learning the attachment styles and determining which attachment style you have can help
improve your relationships with others and will help you to understand why you feel the ways
you do in many cases. Attachment styles are established as infants and children, but greatly
impact relationships you hold for the rest of your life. Learning your own relationship style can
help build relationships in your own life. You can learn how and why you react in certain
situations, what attachment styles are most compatible with and most drawn to and what the
relationships
Relational maintenance outcome
is important for will
any most likelyrelationship.
long-term be. Maintenance is the water that helps
relationships grow and flourish. All relationships need to be tended to in order to stay strong. The more often you
reassure your counterpart and show them that you care for them, the more likely the relationship is to stay
strong. This important with family and fictive kin as well as intimate partners, friends and other important people
in your life. Here are some tips to improving relationships with intimate partners:
TIPS
Reassure your partner often. Tell the you appreciate them, that you love
spending time with them, etc. Words of affirmation are important to a
relationship, and people like to know that they are appreciated.
1
Learn about yours and your partner’s attachment styles. It can help to
understand the relationship you are in, why things happen the way that they do
2 and how the attachment style you have impacts the way you communicate with
others.
Make sure you are demonstrating respect towards your partner. You should also
3 make sure that your partner clearly respects you. If there is not mutual respect
for each others wants and needs, it can make for a toxic relationship.
 Ch
Communication in
Workplace
Relationships

1
.
COMMUNICATION IN WORKPLACE RELATIONSHIPS
IN-GROUP RELATIONSHIPS -
Close working relationships
between managers and
employees who consistently
take on work above that
which is expected and are
rewarded in a variety of
monetary and non-monetary
MID-GROUP
ways. RELATIONSHIPS
- Relationships between
managers and employees
who perform their jobs
acceptably, but not
exceptionally well, so the
manager usually doesn’t
think of them when looking
for help with RELATIONSHIPS
OUT-GROUP additional or
special assignments.
- Difficult and strained
working relationships
between managers and
employees who consistently
do not work up to standards
or get along with the
managers.
INFORMATIONAL PEER
RELATIONSHIPS -
Relationships between co-
workers that are superficial in
that interactions and
conversations are devoted
COLLEGIAL PEER
solely to work topics.
RELATIONSHIPS -
Relationships between co-
workers where a wider
variety of topics are
discussed and partners offer
social support to each other
SPECIAL PEER work
in problematic
RELATIONSHIPS
situations. - Equivalent
to “best friend” relationships
set within the work context;
such relationships are rare
and characterized by high
levels of disclosure, trust and
CUSTOMERS AND CLIENTS -
social support.
The people, groups, or
organizations that use an
organization’s goods or
BOUNDARY SPANNING - The LINGUISTIC
process of communicating STYLE - The
with people outside of an patterned way in
organization in a mutually which a person
beneficial relationship. uses language to
VENDORS - The people, communicate.
groups, or organizations that ASKING FOR
supply an organization with FEEDBACK - The
necessary raw material or skill of eliciting
other goods and services. observations
MENTORING RELATIONSHIP - from others
A developmentally oriented about your
CONSTRUCTIVE
behavior.
relationship between a
CRITICIZING- The
mentor, a more experienced
and often older person, and feedback skill of
a protege, a less diplomatically
experienced and often describing the
specific negative
ROMANCE - A
younger person.
WORKPLACE
behavior of your
mutually desired
partner and its
relationship between two
effects on others.
employees of the same
organization who become
sexually attracted to each
other.
RESULTS-ORIENTED USING SOCIAL MEDIA EFFECTIVELY DISCLOSING VERBAL
ORGANIZATIONAL CULTURE - PROFESSIONALLY CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM AGGRESSION -
An organizational culture that is 1. Visibility and 1. Criticize in private. Sending verbal
individualistic and, like the Persistence 2. Ask for permission. messages
dominant culture of the United 2. Editability 3. Whenever possible, intended to
States, prioritizes results over 3. Association
USING SOCIAL MEDIA preface a negative hurt someone.
statement with a WORKPLACE
RELATIONSHIP-ORIENTED
building relationships at work. RESPONSIBLY
positive one. AGGRESSION -
ORGANIZATIONAL CULTURE - An Avoid multitasking if
possible. You are a better 4. Be specific about the Any
organizational culture that is
communicator when focused behavior and why it is counterproduct
collectivist, like those of Japan,
Spain and Mexico, and on one conversation at a BULLYING - Persistent,
problematic. ive behavior at
time. Try not to text, talk, highly aggressive behavior work intended
prioritizes building relationships
SEQUENTIAL
at TASK-COMPLETION
work over results. email, call someone all-at directed by the aggressor, or to hurt
SEXUAL HARASSMENT A
CULTURE - An organizational the same time. bully, toward a specific someone else.
form of sex discrimination PHYSICAL
person or persons, or
culture where large or complex including unwelcome sexual AGGRESSION -
ASKING FOR FEEDBACK
target(s).
tasks are broken into separate advances, requests for Nonverbal acts
1. Specify the kind of
parts and completed one part at sexual favors, and other of violence
HOLISTIC personal feedback you
a time. TASK-COMPLETION verbal or physical conduct of against
are seeking.
CULTURE - An organizational a sexual nature that another person
2. Ask neutral questions.
culture where large complex explicitly or implicitly affects with the intent
3. Listen and paraphrase
tasks are completed by an individual’s employment, to do bodily
what you hear.
simultaneously working on all unreasonably interferes with INTERGENERATIONAL COMMUNICATION harm. ISSUES
parts of the task; sometimes an individual’s work In general, people over the age of sixty have
focusing on one part, then performance, or creates an greater respect for authority. People under the
another,
BEHAVIORAL thenAGGRESSION
back to the first,
- intimidating, hostile or age of thirty tend to be more skeptical of and
an iterative fashion.
Nonverbal acts intended to hurt offensive work environment. less formal when dealing with authority figures.
 Workplace relationships should be handled differently than relationships outside of work and
should be handled carefully. You should work to keep your relationships in the workplace
professional and positive. At work, people enjoy being around people who are upbeat and are
fun to be around. If you bring negative attitudes to the workplace, it is likely that people will
begin to look at you in a negative light. Keep positive relations with those you work with and it is
likely that professional and positive relations will begin to form with your bosses and coworkers.
When you work hard and are good at your job, it will also help to build relations with others. People, especially
bosses, enjoy working with others who are good at their jobs. Asking for feedback from your boss can help build
a work relationship because it shows that you appreciate to know how you’re doing and where you can improve.
It will help to improve the relationship with your boss, while also improving your quality of work. Below are some
tips that you can take with you to your work, whether it be from home or in-person.
TIPS
Make a good impression. In-groups, out-groups and mid-groups are established
within the first month of your time at the job, so it is important to start off strong
at your job to ensure that your relationships with those that you report to are
1 strong.
Keep professional relationships with coworkers and bosses. If you begin to be
intimate with a coworker, make sure that you are making the right decision.

2 These relationships can cause problems in the workplace with other coworkers
and bosses, and if they end badly it will make for an unprofessional and awkward
environment.
Don’t be afraid of constructive criticism and feedback from vendors,
3 customers/clients and superiors. Everyone has areas to improve in, and this kind of
feedback can help to better your relationships with others and your work
performance.