Listening and Emotional

Intelligence
“Courage is what it takes to stand up and
speak; courage is also what it takes to sit
down and listen.”

Winston Churchill
 Communication Process
 Sender
 Receiver
 Feedback
 Interference
 Channels of Communication
 Face-to-face
 Telephonic
 Email, text messaging, internet
 Memos, letters
 Formal reports
 Message Receiving Process
 Listening
 Analyzing
 Checking understanding
 Listen
From Webster’s Dictionary
 To pay attention to sound
 To hear with thoughtful attention
 To be alert and catch an expected sound
 Types of Listening
 Active
 “listening with a purpose” (Barker, 1971)
 Empathic
 Listening to understand the other person
 Critical listening
 To determine accuracy
 Listening for enjoyment
 Active Listening
 Make time
 Act interested in speaker
 Good eye contact
 Repeat key phrases
 Ask questions
 Concentrate on what is being said
 Listening
 Pay attention
 Avoid distractions
 Do not assume or interrupt
 Watch nonverbal clues
 Ask questions
 Take notes
 Provide feedback
 Ten Keys to Effective
Listening
Keys Poor Listener Good Listener
1. Listen actively Is passive, laid back Asks questions;
paraphrases what is said

2. Find areas of interest Tunes out dry subjects Looks for opportunities,
new learning

3. Resist distractions Is easily distracted Fights distractions;

tolerates bad habits;
knows how to
concentrate
4. Capitalize on the fact Tends to daydream with Challenges, anticipates,
that thought is faster slow speakers summarizes; listens
than speech between lines to tone of
voice
5. Be responsive Is minimally involved Nods; shows interest,
positive feedback
 Keys Poor Listener Good Listener
6. Judge content, not Tunes out if delivery is Judges content; skips
delivery poor over delivery errors

7. Hold one’s fire Has preconceptions; Does not judge until

argues comprehension is
complete
8. Listen for ideas Listens for facts Listens to central themes

9. Work at listening No energy output; faked Works hard; exhibits

attention active body state, eye
contact
10. Exercise one’s mind Resists difficult material Uses heavier material as
in favor of light, exercise for the mind
recreational material
 Analyzing
 Listen actively
 Evaluate message after listening
 Analyzing
From Webster’s Dictionary
 To study or determine the nature and
relationship of the parts by analysis
 Check Understanding
 Paraphrase
 Watch nonverbal cues
 Feedback
 Repeat key phrases to show you
understand what is being said
 Irritating Listening Habits
 Interrupting the speaker
 Not looking at the speaker
 Rushing the speaker
 Showing interest in something else
 Finishing the speaker’s thoughts
 Not responding to requests
 Saying “Yes but…..”
 Topping the speaker’s story
 Forgetting what was asked
 Asking too many questions
 The International Listening Association
 Barriers to Listening
 Emotions
 Too technical
 Too much information
 Past experiences
 Busy thinking about our answer
 Assumptions
 Opinions
 Open Ended Questions
 Good tools for getting information
 Cannot be answered with just a yes or no
 Samples
 Why do you say that?
 How did you feel about what she said?
 How will you handle the situation?
 Why do you think you reacted that way?
 Body Language
 Head nodding
 Leaning forward
 Relaxed body posture
 Facial expressions
 Eye contact
 Emotional Intelligence
 Daniel Goleman
 A person’s ability to perceived, identify,
understand and successfully manage
emotions in self and others.
 Costs to Leaders
 Loss of followers
 Conflict
 Absenteeism
 Health costs
 Lawsuits
 Workplace violence
 Elements of Emotional
Intelligence- Kolp and Rea
 Self Awareness
 Accurate self-assessment of skill and emotion
 Self confidence

 Self Management
 Self control
 Integrity
 Adaptable to change
 Initiative
 Elements of Emotional
Intelligence- Kolp and Rea
 Social Awareness
 Empathy and service orientation
 Awareness of organization realities

 Social Skills
 Leading change
 Creation of shared vision and sense of team
 Communication and conflict resolution
 Relationship building
 Emotional Families
 Anger
 Sadness
 Fear
 Enjoyment
 Love
 Surprise
 Disgust
 Shame
 Goleman on Salovey’s Definition
Components of Emotional Intelligence
 Knowing one’s emotions
 Managing emotions
 Motivating oneself
 Recognizing emotions in others
 Handling relationships
 References
 Richard L. Daft, The Leadership Experience, (Thomson Publishing,
Ohio) p. 143
 Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence,
(Bantam International, New York)
 Robert Lussier and Christopher Achua, (Thomson Publishing, Ohio)
p. 204
 Craig E. Runde and Tim A. Flanagan, Becoming a Conflict
Competent Leader, (Jossey Bass Publisher, California) p. 11-15
 Barker, L.L. (1971) Listening Behavior, Englewood Cliffs, NJ:
Prentice-Hall
 Robyn Walker, Strategic Business Communication, Thomson
Publishing, Ohio) pp. 198-201
 Alan Kolp and Peter Rea, Leading with Integrity, (Atomic Dog
Publishing, Cincinnati) p. 199.
 Webster Dictionary
 The International Listening Association