INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

DEFINITION OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

• Interpersonal communication is the process

by which people exchange information,
feelings, and meaning through verbal and
non-verbal messages: it is a face-to-
face communication.
• It is also called dyadic communication.
PERSPECTIVE OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

• The Quality Of Our Interpersonal Communication

Will Determine The Quality Of Our Work And Quality
Of Our Life

• Interpersonal Communication Skills Can Be Learned

COMPONENTS OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

1. Conversation

2. Listening

3. Body language

4. Environment

5. Self-appearance
1. CONVERSATION

• Mention Their Names

• Use Suitable Language

• Tone Of Voice

• Simplify Your Message

• Give Other People The Chance To Talk And Do Not Control

All
• Prevent From Telling Too Much About Yourself

• Use Closed And Open Questions Appropriately

• Take Care of the Contents Of Your Sentences

• Suitability Of Topics To Talk

• Winning People’s Heart

Be Interesting Vs. Be Interested
The Way To Converse
THE WAY TO CONVERSE

• Be confident, cool and relaxed

• Be yourself – do not belittle yourself but at the same do

not be arrogant – must show respect to all parties

• Be assertive – do not let other people take control of you

• Give your opinion if you don’t agree – with full of

diplomacy and respect
Listening Skills
2. LISTENING SKILLS

 Look at the eyes and give attention But do not

stare.

 Show your interest and show that they are

important

 Concentrate – do not let your mind wonder to

other places. Do not look at other places or do
other things while listening to people talking to you
 Show that you are actually listening to them with
full interest by saying ‘yeah’ ‘oh like that’, nodding
your head and continue eye contact.

 Do not look in different direction

 Ensure that you really understand what you have

just heard by repeating what you have heard to
him / her.
 Repeat important information and seek confirmation
from him/her “Is this what you are trying say……”

 Give encouragement for people to keep on talking

or to tell you more using phrases such as ‘that’s an
amazing idea, that’s a interesting story, please tell
me more’

 Listen to ideas, not just words. Form imagination in

your mind while listening.
 Do not interrupt or try to finish his sentence while
people are talking to you. Wait until he or she
finishes his or her sentences.

 Do not be too fast to conclude. Give your response

when you are truly sure he’s finished his points.

 Do not focus on what you are going to say, focus on

what your friend is going to say first.
Body Language
3. BODY LANGUAGE

 PROPER BODY LANGUAGE

Smile or show happy face

Nod your head to show that you understand or agree

or you are following the conversation attentively.

Give space so that everyone can see each other’s face

if you are talking in a group.
 GOOD BODY LANGUAGE
“Mirroring” is you create the same body posture with those you are
talking to – if they are standing with one leg up, you do the same, if
they are holding cup, you do the same. This is called mirroring.
“Mirroring” will create a more friendly and relaxed atmosphere
between you and the other person.

Avoid from:
• Yawning,
• Scratching your head,
• Drilling your nostrils,
• Digging your ears, and all sort of inappropriate actions
4. ENVIRONMENT

 Try to understand their mood (are they tired, have

many problems, after getting scolded from their
boss, feeling sad, mixed feeling etc.)

 Look at suitability of topic at that moment (talking

about goodness of marriage to a women who
hasn’t got married, talking about children/ child
birth with a couple who don’t have kids yet etc.)
 Find suitable place (eg. quiet, not many people
around) for the topic you want to discuss. To
discuss multi-million dollar business deal, must
find a suitable place.

 Find suitable environment (cold, not smelly,

refreshing, clean)
5. SELF APPEARANCE

• The way you dress

• Cleanliness

• Color of your dress

• Ornaments

• Body smell
IMPORTANT TIPS ON INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

What One Wants What One Does Not Want

• To be respected • To be ridiculed
• To be appreciated • Belittled
• To feel important • Neglected
• To play some roles • Segregated
• To be friends with • Troubled
others • Underestimated
• To enjoy their rights • Mistreated
IMPORTANT TIPS ON INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

1. REMEMBER HIS NAME AND RELATED INFORMATION

Remember his name correctly and mention his name in the

conversation
Try to remember other important or relevant information
about him such as the number of cats he keep, countries
he has visited, his favorite food etc.
2. LOOK AT THE GOOD SIDE AND GIVE EMPATHY
Look at the good side and strength he has; do not look at
his weaknesses and shortcomings
Inculcate sympathy and empathy; try to understand his
situation; do not quickly put a blame on him; do not quickly
make a conclusion about him and give forgiveness on small
things
Investigate first on what’s happened. Do not conclude too
fast
Give open arms and put no ill intention toward him.
 3. THINK WIN-WIN
Think win-win. Be fair to all parties.
Never ever suppress other people
Never try to take advantage, especially from the weaker party.

4. DO NOT KEEP HIDDEN AGENDA OR TRY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE

• Do not keep the “prawn besides the stone” (hidden agenda)
when dealing with him; this way you will lose trust from him
• Do not take advantage on his weaknesses or his negligence or
his sincerity
5. DO NOT ‘KILL’ HIS LIFE AND DO FITNAH
• Never ever ‘kill’ one’s life, dignity or his existence by spreading fitnah
• Stay away from fitnah or plough the seed of hatred or ill-intention
toward a person.

6. NEVER EVER COMPARE, BE GRATEFUL WITH WHAT YOU HAVE

• Do not compare someone with someone else, your staff with other
people’s staff,

• Do not praise other people and undermine your own relatives

• Have to pay gratitude and appreciate what you have or possess
• Keep in mind - you are my hero or you are my heroine
7. GIVE INSPIRATION, EXPECT THE BEST

• Give inspiration, give trust, give hope

• Give motivation to be the best, to give their best
• Must expect the best from them
• Be patient with their shortcomings and find ways so that they can improve
themselves – through coaching, training or third party’s roles

8.NEVER EVER LIE

• Speak the truth – never ever lie

• Never manipulate your language or twist your tongue, doing so will make you
a hypocrite
9. FULFILL YOUR PROMISE DO NOT MAKE FALSE PROMISE

• Must respect the promise you have made – must fulfill it

• Do not promise with the things you are not capable of doing

10.SOMETIMES WE ARE STRATEGIC,NOT HYPOCRITE

• We cannot be open to all things because it could be not strategic

• Have to see the pros and cons of the things we discussed
• If it carries more disadvantages than advantages, so it is
better to avoid from being direct – this is what is called strategic.
11. LIKEABLE AND LIKE

•Make it a habit to always eliminate the bad elements in our life

•Improve yourself so that people like you
•Train yourself to like other people

12. EXPECTATION

• Sometimes our expectation on other people are not realistic or too high
• All people have problems or circumstances which we do not know
• We shouldn’t be asking from them more than what they are capable of
doing
• Expectation which is too high might frustrate us
13. DON’T HOPE FOR RETURN OF FAVOR
Continue with good relationship without hoping anything
in return
Even though people do not give a damn, we continue with
good relationship with them
If we are hoping for a return of favor, maybe we will be
frustrated
If we do not hope anything in favor, they will feel the true
pleasure of friendship
THAT’S ALL

THANK YOU