American Girl DILFs Ranked

They didn’t have to make them so hot tho

# 11: James McIntire - I’m sorry James you’re not that
attractive but you’re a wonderful
dad ok
- It’s hard to judge him cause he’s
literally at war for half of the books
so we don’t even know that much
about him
- Molly is a carbon copy of him and
I think it is so funny
- Teeth. I’m sorry.
#10: Andres Montoya - To be honest he’s one of my
favorite AG dads so it pains me to
put him this low but he’s just not a
dilf I’m sorry
- The poncho pictures do hit
different so he gets some credit
for that
- I’m a sucker for a man who can
play music though
- Mmmm but he’s really not that
attractive so
#9: Louis Rubin - The mustache… Louis honey what
are you thinking??
- Suit is nice tho he’s always well
groomed and well dressed
- He’s a sweetie but also he could
do a lot more to support his
daughter’s dreams and aspirations
so um sorry but you’ve been
demoted Mr. Rubin
- Very strong 5’7” energy.
#8: John Abbott - I just like the frame of this picture
a lot sorry
- To be honest I don’t know a ton
about the Caroline books I was
kinda out of my AG phase by the
time they came out
- Mr Abbott do be kinda fine tho
- He’s got them sideburns so he’s
automatically a Mr Darcy variant
- He’s a little bit reckless but that’s
okay I could fix him
#7: Edward Merriman - He looks very uncomfortable in this
picture I apologize
- We love us some anarchy in this
household
- Mans said “Tea? Nah let's start a
revolution bitch”
- Very supportive of his daughter (who
is basically me so like… dad?)
- I’m sorry too far
- Anyways.
- Horse guys are kinda hot in their own
special way right
#6: Anders Larson - Hear me out ok
- I know he looks old but it’s just
cause his hair is blond
- Have you SEEN the illustrations of
him in the actual books my god
- He was always the sweetest dad to
Kirsten and I feel like he’s just such
a gentle soul
- He’s got those blue eyes too I mean
- His wife is an absolute milf too
honestly I’m more into her than him
#5: Daniel Albright - He looks like Bill Pullman. Take that
as you will.
- It was kinda shitty of him to divorce
his wife for not wanting to be a
housewife like sexist much
- That’s really my biggest grievance
with him, the not-so-subtle
misogyny and all
- He is very attractive but in a 1970s
action movie kinda way like if I met
him in real life I’d probably hate him
#4: Jack Kittredge - Hello eyes
- I love me a hard working family
man with a can-do attitude
- Anyone named Jack is
automatically hot and I’m not sorry
cause you know I’m right
- Man is a walking piece of FDR
propaganda, take that as you will
- He’s very dilfy but I feel like he’d
call me a slur ya know
#3: Ben Walker - This man was my dream husband
for YEARS
- We love a baddie who would do
anything for his family
- He’s got the all knowing smirk
down to an art I mean look at it
- His daughter is also objectively
the best American Girl so he gets
extra points for that
#2: Uncle Gard - He would be #1 but he’s not
actually a dad so he’s just an
honorary dilf
- Definitely has the most attractive
personality of anyone on this list
- I would make up games where I
would play Cornelia so I could be
married to him
- He looks like every Edwardian
period drama male lead ever,
what’s not to love?
 - Hello sir…. Are you in need of a wife
#1: Toe-ta - I was full on in LOVE with this man
at 8 years old
- The braids do it for me I’m sorry
- He’s also just a really good father
figure and I admire that um…
- A little concerned about the name
tho I looked it up and it seems like
the AG people decided to just
make up a name they thought
sounded Indigenous but that’s not
on him so