Defending marriage in the public square

St Marys, June 4, 2011

The New Family Debate

The traditional view of the family is under huge pressure.

The politically correct view is becoming dominant.

The New Family Debate

It draws on the fact that family diversity is increasing and demands equality. It says the family isnt breaking down, its changing. The change is neutral, or good.

The Family Diversity View

Says we must help children where they are. Points out that a quarter of children are now being raised in non-marital families. Says favouring marriage over other family forms is unjust discrimination. Says one of the new forms of family is the gay and lesbian family.

Family Diversity II
Pro-marriage view accused of being judgemental towards other families. Claims that family structure doesnt matter. Claims a child simply needs loving parents or even just one loving parent. Therefore it says the sex of the parents doesnt matter. Also, it doesnt matter whether they are married.

The Pro-Marriage View

Stresses the enduring importance of marriage. Points out that marriage is the most prochild of social institutions. Why? Because it gives a child both a mother and a father. Therefore we should favour it if we think a child should have a mother and a father. This is a practical, not a moral judgement.

Why is Marriage Special?

Research clearly demonstrates that family structure matters for children, and the family structure that helps the most is a family headed by two biological parents in a low-conflict marriage...There is thus value in promoting strong, stable marriages between biological parents.
Child Trends. 'Marriage from a child's perspective: How does family structure affect children, and what can we do about it?' - June 2002

Family Structure Matters

The issue of family structure is very relevant as per previous quote. A child does need loving parents. But a loving mother and father most of all.

Family Structure Matters

Marriage better than cohabitation. Married couples much more likely to stay together.

What is Marriage?
A romantic ideal. But, it is increasingly seen as emotional bond only. This view is one reason for the increasing divorce rate. If it is purely an emotional bond, then why not allow same-sex couples to marry? But it is also a social institution.

What is a social Institution?

It is a form of social organisation deemed to be so important that it receives strong social recognition and support, including financial and legal assistance. Marriage is important because of children first, adults second. It is societys way of trying to give every child a mother and father.

Elements of Marriage
Two people. A man and a woman. In a public commitment. A sexual relationship. All these elements have children in mind.

Why these elements? elements? Why these

Two people because only two people can produce the same child. A man and a woman because only men and women can have children. Sex, because only sex leads naturally to children. Public commitment. Commit first, then have children, then receive the rights and benefits of marriage.

Same sex Marriage/Civil Unions

Completely redefines marriage. Sexual relationships, rather than what sex leads to, is what matters. Mothers and fathers removed from the picture. A childs need for a mother and father removed from the picture. Family policy completely loses its true focus. Adults are now placed at its centre. Civil union proposal is marriage.

How to undermine Marriage Say it doesnt really matter.

Slowly strip it of its legal and financial character, e.g. the relative tax advantages of marriage. Never defend it. Praise family diversity. Provide its benefits equally to other family forms. This undermines its special position.

Children at heart of the debate

Debate is really about children. Marriage advocates say children need a mother and father. Family diversity advocates deny this. They said all children need is a loving parent or parents. If we care about children we must defend marriage. Argument is being lost by default.

Religious freedom Implications Religious Freedom implications

Religious believers being sued worldwide Photographer in US Church hall in New Jersey Catholic adoption agencies in Britain

Religious Freedom Implications

Traditional marriage supporters being equated with racist bigots Belief in traditional marriage a private prejudice

What to do
Be informed Dont be intimidated Have confidence in the pro-marriage argument Get your churches involved Dont hesitate to contact your politicians