Personality and dealing with difficult

people and bosses

Presented by:
Dr Ayman Metwally

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 What is Personality?

The dynamic organization within the individual of

those psychophysical systems that determine his
unique adjustments to his environment.

Personality is “the sum total of ways in which an individual

reacts and interacts with others, the measurable traits a person
exhibits”.

© Pearson Education 2012 2-2

 Personality Determinants
• Factors determined at conception: physical stature, facial
attractiveness, gender, temperament, muscle composition
and reflexes, energy level, and bio-rhythms.

• This ‘Heredity Approach’ argues that genes are the source

of personality.

• Twin studies: raised apart but very similar personalities.

• Parents don’t add much to personality development.

• There is some personality change over long

time periods.

© Pearson Education 2012 2-3

 Personality Traits

Traits are enduring characteristics that describe an individual’s

behavior.
• The more consistent the characteristic and the more
frequently it occurs in diverse situations, the more
important the trait.

Two dominant frameworks are used to describe personality:

• Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)
• Big Five Model

© Pearson Education 2012 2-4

 The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
• Most widely used instrument in the world.
• Participants are classified on four axes to determine one of
16 possible personality types, such as ENTJ.

Sociable and Extroverted Introverted Quiet and

(E) (I)
Assertive Shy

Sensing Intuitive Unconscious

Practical and (S) (N) Processes
Orderly
Thinking Feeling Uses Values
Use Reason (T) (F) & Emotions
and Logic
Judging Perceiving Flexible and
Want Order (J) (P)
& Structure Spontaneous

© Pearson Education 2012 2-5

 Myers-Briggs Types and Their Uses

Each of the sixteen possible combinations has a name, for

instance:
• Visionaries (INTJ) – original, stubborn, and driven.
• Organizers (ESTJ) – realistic, logical, analytical, and
business-like.
• Conceptualizer (ENTP) – entrepreneurial, innovative,
individualistic, and resourceful.

Research results on the validity of MBTI are mixed.

• MBTI is a good tool for self-awareness and counseling.
• Should not be used as a selection test for job candidates.

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 The Big Five Model of Personality Dimensions

• Sociable, gregarious, and

assertive
Extroversion
• Good-natured, cooperative, and
Agreeableness trusting
• Responsible,
Conscientiousnes dependable, persistent,
s and organized
• Calm, self-confident, secure
Emotional under stress (positive), versus
Stability nervous, depressed, and
insecure under stress (negative)
Openness to • Curious, imaginative, artistic,
Experience and sensitive

© Pearson Education 2012 2-7

 How Do the Big Five Traits Predict Behavior?

Research has shown this to be a better framework.

Certain traits have been shown to strongly relate to higher job

performance:

• Highly conscientious people develop more job knowledge,

exert greater effort, and have better performance.
• Other Big Five Traits also have implications for work.
– Emotional stability is related to job satisfaction.
– Extroverts tend to be happier in their jobs and have good
social skills.
– Open people are more creative and can be good leaders.
– Agreeable people are good in social settings.

© Pearson Education 2012 2-8

 The Big Five Traits

© Pearson Education 2012 2-9

 Linking Personality and Values to the Workplace
Person–Job Fit
Managers are less interested in someone’s ability to do a
specific job than in that person’s flexibility.

John Holland’s Personality-Job Fit Theory

• Six personality types.
• Vocational Preference Inventory (VPI).

Key Points of the Model:

• There appear to be intrinsic differences in personality
between people.
• There are different types of jobs.
• People in jobs congruent with their personality should be
more satisfied and therefore turnover should reduce.

© Pearson Education 2012 2-10

 Holland’s Personality Typology & Occupations

© Pearson Education 2012 2-11

 Still Linking Personality to the Workplace
Person–Organizational Fit

In addition to matching the individual’s personality to the job,

managers are also concerned with Person-Organization Fit.

• The employee’s personality must fit with the organizational

culture.
• People are attracted to organizations that match their
values.
• Those who match are most likely to be selected.
• Mismatches will result in turnover.
• Can use the Big Five personality types to match to the
organizational culture.

© Pearson Education 2012 2-12

 Dealing with Difficult Personalities
• Identify ten bothersome behaviors
• Deal successfully with each of them
• Understand the thought and fears of difficult people
• An understanding of whom we are dealing with and what
motivates them
• Turn conflict into cooperation

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THE TANK

THE SNIPER THE GRENADE

THE KNOW IT ALL

THE
THINK THEY The super agreeable The negativist
KNOW IT
ALL

The
The silent unresponsive THE NO PERSON complainer
 1) “The Tank” person

• Usually has extreme self confidence

• Wants to control the process and get things done
• When he feels that his targets are threatened he explodes
with anger destroying the person that he thinks is the
reason of the threat.
• His main target is to finish the mission as soon as possible
and with the best way, if you delay to face him, he will
finish the mission alone without your help.

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 Regular behaviors people do to face
the “Tank Person”
• To counter attack with the same strength
• Attempt to always defend your situation
• Say nothing and stay away from the barrel of the gun

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Your new target

Gaining the respect of the “tank person” without the need to

shoot him back

Your new plan

1) Breath slowly, don’t sit if you are standing and leave the
“tank” person say what he wants to say.
2) Stop the attack if it became more than a certain level
(without using any aggressive tone or movement)
3) Repeat his notes quickly to make him feel that you are
listening to and understanding his words
4) Use short sentences to defend your position mentioning that
this is your personal view
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2. The “Sniper” person

“The sniper” Characteristics

 Always searches for your
mistakes
 Attempts to control you
through embarrassment and
humiliation

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 Regular behaviors people do to
face the “Sniper” person
Avoid these behaviors with the “sniper”
Don’t show that you feel embarrassed
Don’t try to respond in the same way
Don’t run away from the “sniper”

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Your new target

Take the sniper from his hideout in order to experience face-

to-face
Coping Strategies:

1) Stop talking and repeat his words in the same way

   ”Usually this act leads to his embarrassment in front of
others and making people laugh at him because they feel
that you do not take his comments seriously.
2) Ask clear questions      - Questions trying to understand the
relationship of the situation with the comments
3) When you are both together, tell him that his comments
bother and ask him to stop it

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 3.The “KNOW-IT-ALL” person

 They have a strong need for security in an unpredictable

world, value facts and logic, and seek respect through
acknowledged competence. They are highly productive,
thorough, and accurate.
 They possess an aura of personal authority and sense of
power, and a tone of absolute certainty. They are usually
right and will confront those who question their logic with a
data "dump" that leaves others overwhelmed.
 They can be condescending, imposing, pompous, and
sometimes make you feel like an idiot.

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Your new target

To open the way for his new ideas

Coping strategies
• Help them consider alternative views while avoiding direct
challenges to their expertise.
• You must do your homework, discuss facts in an orderly manner,
and make sure your information is accurate and complete. Don't
'ball park' it or they will dismiss you as incompetent.
• Listen actively and acknowledge. Paraphrase rather than interrupt;
it shows you respect their expertise.
• If you must point out an error or omission, do it by questioning
firmly with confidence and ask for clarification by saying, "How will
that look 5 years from now?
• Resist the temptation to assert your own expert credentials. It
won't work. No one knows more than they do in their opinion!

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 4. “The Think-they-Know-it-all”
Person:

• Specialists in exaggeration, half

truths, jargon, useless advice,
and unsolicited opinions
• Charismatic and desperate for
attention

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 Coping strategies:

• Give them a little attention

• Ask for specifics

• State facts as you know them

• Provide a way out

• Handle alone whenever possible

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5. “ The Grenade” Person

“The Grenade” CHARACTERISTICS:

• Feels unappreciated and disrespected
• Ranting and raving is difficult to ignore

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Coping strategies:

• Give them time to run down and regain self-control on their

own.
• If they don’t, break into their tantrum state by saying or
shouting a neutral phrase such as “Stop!”
• Show that you take them seriously.
• If needed and possible, get a breather and get some privacy
with them.

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 6. The “complainer” person

• They avoid taking

responsibility. These are
the people who find fault
with everything, but may
be some legitimacy to their
complaints.
• They use an accusatory
tone, and come across as
powerless, fatalistic,
morally perfect, and self-
righteous.

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Coping strategies:
• Break the self-fulfilling cycle of passivity, blaming, and
powerlessness by insisting on a problem solving approach.
Ask for complaints in writing, ask open-ended questions,
and assign them to fact-finding tasks.
• Listen attentively. They may just need to blow off steam,
which could provide information that's important to you.
• Be prepared to interrupt and take control. Pin them down to
the specifics.
• Don't agree. Agreeing only validates for them that it is your
fault and they are blameless.
• If all else fails, ask them how they would like the discussion
to end; what results do they want to achieve?

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7. “The NO Person”

The “ No person” characteristics

• Task-focused and needs to get it right
• Finds the negatives in everyone and everything

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 Coping strategies

NOOOOOO
OOOOOO !!
!!!!!!!!
• Go with the flow

• Use them as a resource

• Give them time to think

• Appreciate the NO person

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 8. “Silent/Unresponsive” person
• These people limit risk and seek safety by refusing to
respond, and are often non-committal despite the fact that
something is definitely wrong.
• They use this form of calculated aggression to avoid
facing their fears.

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Coping strategies
•Get
them to talk by asking open-ended questions beginning with "how" and
"what."
•Apply a friendly, silent stare toward the person and hold it. Don't be tempted to
fill the space with words to ease your own discomfort. Comment on the fact you
find it interesting they're refusing to communicate, then ask:
•Are you concerned about my reaction? How do you think I'll react?
•You look distressed/worried/concerned. Am I misinterpreting?
•Am I wrong that you're feeling uncomfortable, annoyed, angry, or impatient?
•Settime limits and be prepared for an "I don't know" response. You may either
assume it's genuine or it's a stalling tactic and reply, "It appears our meeting is at
an impasse." Return to the friendly, silent stare and wait for a response.
•If
the clam opens up, be attentive, demonstrate active listening, and allow them
be vague (it may lead to their main issue). If they don't respond, avoid a polite
ending by stating you intend to revisit the issue again. State you assume their
lack of response means X to you, and list the actions you will take if effective
communication doesn't occur.

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 9. The “Negativist” person

• These people have been deeply disappointed in life and are

unable to work through it.
• They've lost trust, tend to throw cold water on every idea,
easily deflate optimism, and believe in absolute, immovable
barriers.
• They are convinced they have little power over their own
lives and believe those who do have power cannot be
trusted to act reasonably or consistently.
• They may be angry and resentful most of the time.

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Coping strategies
• Recognize your own vulnerability to discouragement. The
impact these people have on others can be contagious
unless you meet it directly with confident, assertive
optimism.
• Don't argue with them or embarrass them. You won't get
far by making it a "win/lose" battle.
• Allow them to play the role of "reality checker" by analyzing
what could go wrong.
• Require them to cite specifics rather than make sweeping
generalizations.
• Offer examples of past successes. Show that some
alternatives are worth trying by saying, "I have faith that
we haven't tried everything."

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 10. “The super agreeable” person

 This is the "people-pleaser" who over-promises and never

delivers.
 They avoid conflict at all costs, are outgoing, sociable,
personal with others, and very attentive.
 They will tell you things that are good to hear and then let
you down by making unrealistic commitments.

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Coping strategies

• Make honesty non-threatening. Ask for their opinion without

jeopardizing your acceptance of them as individuals.
• Be personal without being phony and let them know you
value them as people.
• Don't allow them to over-commit or take on more than they
can handle.
• Ask for feedback on things that might interfere with your
good relationship.
• Pay attention to their humor - it often masks their true
feelings

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 How Successful People
Overcome Toxic Bosses
Studies show that bosses are:
• Self-oriented (60%)
• Stubborn (49%)
• Overly demanding (43%)
• Impulsive (41%)
• Interruptive (39%)
Worst thing in Life is to have a bad boss
 Multiple studies have found that working for a bad boss
increases your chance of having a heart attack by as much
as 50%.

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 Seven of the most common types of bad
bosses:
1) The Inappropriate Buddy
 This is the boss who’s too friendly.
 He is constantly inviting you to hang out outside of work
and engages in unnecessary office gossip.
 He uses his influence to make friends at the expense of his
work.
 He chooses favorites and creates divisions among
employees, who become frustrated by the imbalance in
attention and respect.

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 How to neutralize an inappropriate buddy: 
 Learn to set firm boundaries. Don’t allow his position to
intimidate you.
 By consciously and proactively establishing a boundary,
you can take control of the situation. For example, you can
remain friendly with your boss throughout the day but still
not be afraid to say no to drinks after work.
 It’s important you don’t put up unnecessary boundaries
that stop you from being seen as friendly (ideally, a friend).
Instead of trying to change the crowd-pleaser and force him
to be something he’s not, having him see you as an ally will
put you in a stronger position than you could have
anticipated.

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 2)The Micromanager

 Makes you feel as if you are under constant surveillance.

 The micromanager pays too much attention to small
details.
 Constant hovering makes employees feel discouraged,
frustrated, and even uncomfortable.

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 How to neutralize a micromanager

  Successful people appeal to micromanagers by proving

themselves to be flexible, competent, and disciplined while
staying in constant communication.
 Ask specific questions about your work, check in frequently,
and look for trends in the micromanager’s feedback.
 Don’t allow your boss’ obsession with details to create
feelings of inadequacy as this will only lead to further stress
and underperformance.

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 3) The Tyrant

• The tyrant resorts to Machiavellian tactics and constantly

makes decisions that feed his ego.
• His primary concern is maintaining power, and he will
coerce and intimidate others to do so.
• The tyrant thinks of his employees as a criminal gang
aboard his ship. He classifies people in his mind and treats
them accordingly.
• Those who support their achievements with gestures of
loyalty find themselves in the position of first mate.

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 How to neutralize a tyrant

 Present your ideas in a way that allows him to take

partial credit. The tyrant can then maintain his ego without
having to shut down your idea.
 Always be quick to give him some credit, even though he
is unlikely to reciprocate, because this will inevitably put
you on his good side.
 Practice self-awareness and manage your emotions, you
can rationally choose which battles are worth fighting and
which ones you should just let go.

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 4) The Incompetent

 This boss was promoted hastily or hired haphazardly and

holds a position that is beyond her capabilities.
 Most likely, he is not completely incompetent, but he has
people who report to him that have been at the company a
lot longer and have information and skills that he lacks.

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 How to neutralize an incompetent

 Swallow your pride and share your experience and

knowledge, without rubbing it in his face.
 Share the information that this boss needs to grow into
her role, and you’ll become her ally and confidant.

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 5) The Robot

 In the mind of the robot, you are employee number 72 with

a production yield of 84 percent and experience level 91
 This boss makes decisions based on the numbers, and when
he’s forced to reach a conclusion without the proper data,
he self-destructs.
 He makes little or no effort to connect with his employees,
and instead, looks solely to the numbers to decide who is
invaluable and who needs to go.

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 How to neutralize a robot

 You need to speak his language. When you have an idea,

make certain you have the data to back it up.
 You need to know what he values and be able to show it to
him if you want to prove your worth. Once you’ve
accomplished this, you can begin trying to nudge him out of
his antisocial comfort zone.
 Schedule face-to-face meetings and respond to some of his
e-mails by knocking on his door. Forcing him to connect
with you as a person, however so slightly, will make you
more than a list of numbers and put a face to your name.

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 6)The Visionary

 His strength lies in her ideas and innovations.

 However, this entrepreneurial approach becomes
dangerous when a plan or solution needs to be
implemented, and he can’t bring herself to focus on the task
at hand.
 When the time comes to execute his vision, he’s already off
onto the next idea, and you’re left to figure things out on
your own.

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 How to neutralize a visionary

 Reverse his train of thought. To do so, ask a lot of specific

questions that force him to rationally approach the issue
and to consider potential obstacles to executing her broad
ideas. Don’t refute his ideas directly, or he will feel
criticized; instead, focus his attention on what it will take to
realistically implement her plan.
 Oftentimes, your questions will diffuse his plan, and when
they don’t, they’ll get him to understand—and commit to—
the effort it’s going to take on her part to help make it
happen.

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 7) The Seagull
 Instead of taking the time to get the facts straight and work
alongside the team to realize a viable solution, the seagull
deposits steaming piles of formulaic advice and then
abruptly takes off, leaving everyone else behind to clean up
the mess.
 Seagulls interact with their employees only when there’s a
fire to put out.
 They move in and out so hastily—and put so little thought
into their approach—that they make bad situations worse by
frustrating and alienating those who need them the most.

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 How to neutralize a seagull

 A group approach works best with seagulls. If you can

get the entire team to sit down with him and explain that
his abrupt approach to solving problems makes it extremely
difficult for everyone to perform at their best, this message
is likely to be heard.
 If the entire group bands together and provides
constructive, non-threatening feedback, the seagull will
more often than not find a better way to work with his
team.

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 CONCLUSION

Even if we can’t change difficult people, we can communicate

with them in such a way that they change themselves. It’s a
matter of knowing how to get through to them when they’re
behaving badly.