CH 2

Chapter 2
Planning Business Messages
Essentials of
Business
Communication 9e
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy

© 2013 Cengage Learning ● All Rights Reserved
Basics of Business Writing
 Business messages are different from college

essays, term papers, and messages to
friends.
 Conciseness and clarity count.
istockphoto.com/zsolt_nuylaszi
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 2, Slide 2
The Best Business Writing Is…
 Purposeful
 Persuasive
 Economical
 Audience oriented
Following a process can make you a

better writer or speaker.
The Writing Process
Approximately how much time
should be spent at each stage?
Phase 1
of the
Writing
Process
Phase 1: Analyzing
Analyze your audience and your

purpose for writing.
 To whom are you writing?
 Why are you writing?
 What do you hope

to achieve?
 What channel is best for
delivering your message?
Selecting the Best Channel
E-mail Telephone
Text message Voice mail
Social media Meeting
Instant message Conversation

Letter/Memo Web site
Report Blog/Wiki
How to Select the Best Channel
 How important is the message?

 How much feedback and interactivity are
required?
 How fast do you need feedback?
 Is a permanent record essential?

 What is the cost of the channel?
 How much formality do you desire?
 How confidential or sensitive is the
message?
Phase 1: Anticipating
Anticipate how your audience will react
to your message.
 What is your reader or listener like?
 Will your audience be pleased, neutral, or
displeased with
your message?
JON FEINGERSH / ICONICA / GETTY IMAGES
Profiling the Audience
Primary Audience
 Who is the primary reader?
 What are my personal and professional
relationships with that person?
 What does the person know

about the subject?
 What kind of response should
I expect?
Profiling the Audience
Secondary Audience
 Who else might see or hear this message?
 Are they different from the primary
audience?
 How must I reshape the message

for the secondary audience?
Phase 1: Adapting
Create a message that will suit your task
and audience.
 Spotlight audience benefits.
 Cultivate the “you” view.
 Sound conversational but

professional.
Phase 1: Adapting
Create a message that will suit your task
and audience.
 Express yourself positively.
 Choose courteous language.
 Adopt bias-free language.

 Use plain language and
familiar words.
Spotlighting Audience Benefits
Focus your statements on the audience,

not the sender.
Poor: Improved:
We are adopting a new You will enjoy total peace

health plan that we of mind with our
believe has many affordable health plan
outstanding benefits. that will meet all your
needs.
Spotlighting Audience Benefits
Poor: Improved:
I have 15 different You have 15 financial
financial plans to offer my plans from which to
investors. choose.
We require that all To use the Web

employees read and sign professionally and safely,
our Web use policy. please read and sign our
Web use policy.
Cultivating the “You” View
Emphasize second-person pronouns

(you/your) instead of first-person pronouns
(I/we, us, our)
Poor: Improved:
Before we can allow you to You may begin

purchase items on this new making purchases
account, we must wait two on your new account
weeks to complete our in two weeks.
processing.
Cultivating the “You” View
Poor: Improved:
We are now offering You can now purchase
iPads at discounted iPads at discounted
prices. prices.
We are pleased to Congratulations! You
announce that you have have been selected to
been approved to enroll enter our leadership
in our leadership
training program!
training program.
Sounding Conversational but
Professional
Poor: Improved:
The undersigned takes I’m happy to . . .
pleasure in . . .
It may be of some concern We’ve credited your

to you to learn that your account for $250.
online payment has been
processed and your account
has been credited for $250.
Levels of Language Use
Unprofessional Conversational Formal

Found in
Some comic strips Business Scientific writing,
and songs, some messages, novels, legal documents,
commercials, some most newspapers, scholarly books,

conversations, and most formal essays,
some text and magazines proclamations
e-mail messages

Characterized by
Incorrect grammar, Correct grammar Correct grammar,
unpredictable and punctuation, serious tone,
sentence structure, conversational complex sentence

inappropriate tone, simple structure,
punctuation, slang, sentence structure, polysyllabic words
vulgarisms familiar words
Examples
wasted ruined annihilated
nab catch apprehend
bad-mouth criticize disparage
dough, bread money currency

stewed, plastered intoxicated, drunk inebriated
I ain’t I’m not I am not
ginormous enormous prodigious
tight frugal penurious
Sounding Conversational but
Professional
Poor: Improved:
The undersigned takes I’m happy to welcome
pleasure in welcoming you to our staff.
you to our staff.
Per your request, we are As you requested, we

sending under separate are sending your May
cover your May invoice. invoice separately.
BTW, ur presentation Your presentation

2day was Gr8! today was great.
Expressing Yourself Positively
Poor: Improved:
Employees may not use Employees must use the
the First Street entrance Market Street entrance
during remodeling. during remodeling.
We cannot fill your order We can fill your order

until we receive an exact once we receive an
model number. exact model number.
Expressing Yourself Positively
Poor: Improved:
We must withhold You will be paid
payment until you promptly once the job is
complete the job completed satisfactorily.
satisfactorily.
If you fail to follow each By following each
requirement, you will not requirement, you will
receive your $50 rebate. receive your $50 rebate.
Hidden Messages
Some words and phrases convey a negative and
unpleasant tone. They may imply a hidden message that the
writer does not intend. Think twice before using the following
negative expressions.
Negative Language Hidden Message

You failed to You are careless

You claim that But I don’t believe you
You are wrong I am right
You do not understand You are not smart
Choosing Courteous Language
Avoid sounding demanding, preachy, or rude.
Poor: Improved:
You must complete this Will you please complete
research by June 1. this research by June 1.
I am sick and tired of Let’s develop a schedule

being the only one who so that we all share the
cleans out the break duty of cleaning the
break room refrigerator.
room refrigerator!
Choosing Courteous Language
Poor: Improved:
I must have your Please submit your
expense report by Friday expense report by
morning. Friday morning.
Your idea for revising our Your idea for revising

return process is insane. our return process will
probably not work.
Adopting Bias-Free Language
Poor: Improved:
Have you called a Have you called a
salesman? salesperson?
Every executive  All executives have their own
has his own office. offices.

 Every executive has an office.
 All executives have offices.
This alternative is
wordy and calls  Every executive has his or
attention to itself
her own office.
Adopting Bias-Free Language
Poor: Improved:
Many businessmen take Many businesspeople
the train to work. take the train to work.
Each teacher cast her All teachers cast their
vote. votes.
Marcello Luna is the new Marcello Luna is the
Latino accountant. new accountant.
We offer discounts to old We offer discounts to
people. seniors.
Using Plain Language
Avoid federalese, bureaucratese, and inflated

language.
Federalese: Each person to whom the request is herein
addressed is henceforth solicited to submit, or to have his or
her department representative submit, to the Department of
Labor official described above, a comment on whether the

proposed plan, in his or her considered view, meets the
requirements of the 2012 law.
Simple Translation: Please comment on whether the
proposed plan meets the requirements of the 2012 law.
Using Familiar Words
Avoid long, difficult, and unfamiliar words. Use
short, simple, and common words whenever
possible.
Less familiar words Simple alternatives

encounter meet
extrapolate project
obligatory required
terminate end
Using Plain Language
Poor: Improved:
You may encounter You may have difficulty
difficulty in terminating the ending the contract.
contract. OR: It may be difficult
to end the contract.

As stipulated, we As required, we
extrapolated the budget projected the budget
figures for two years. figures for two years.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 33
Using Plain Language and
Familiar Words
Poor: Improved:
Will you utilize workbooks Will you use workbooks
during the obligatory during the required
training period? training period?
We anticipate that a We expect that most of

majority of the alternative the choices will be
will be sufficiently sufficiently basic to
fundamental to meet our meet our needs.
requirements.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 2, Slide 34
“Regardless of the changes in technology,
the market for well-crafted messages will
always have an audience.”
--Steve Burnett
The Burnett Group
END
Essentials of
Business
Communication 9e
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy


CH 2

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CH 2

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Chapter 2

Planning Business Messages

Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy

 Business messages are different from college

Following a process can make you a

Analyze your audience and your

 What do you hope

Instant message Conversation

 How important is the message?

 Is a permanent record essential?

JON FEINGERSH / ICONICA / GETTY IMAGES

 What does the person know

 How must I reshape the message

 Sound conversational but

 Adopt bias-free language.

Focus your statements on the audience,

We are adopting a new You will enjoy total peace

We require that all To use the Web

Emphasize second-person pronouns

Before we can allow you to You may begin

It may be of some concern We’ve credited your

Unprofessional Conversational Formal

commercials, some most newspapers, scholarly books,

Unprofessional Conversational Formal

sentence structure, conversational complex sentence

dough, bread money currency

Per your request, we are As you requested, we

BTW, ur presentation Your presentation

We cannot fill your order We can fill your order

Negative Language Hidden Message

You failed to You are careless

I am sick and tired of Let’s develop a schedule

Your idea for revising our Your idea for revising

has his own office. offices.

Avoid federalese, bureaucratese, and inflated

Labor official described above, a comment on whether the

Less familiar words Simple alternatives

to end the contract.

We anticipate that a We expect that most of

The Burnett Group

Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy

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