从幽默中吸取教训

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10 Benefits of Humor and Laughter 幽默和笑声的 10 大好处
1 Boosts Your Immune System 1 增强免疫系统
2 Relieves Pain 2 减轻疼痛
3 Reduces Depression
4 Boosts Your Relationship
3 减少抑郁症
5 Brings Social Benefits 4 促进你的关系
6 Gives Internal Workout 5 带来社会效益
7 Helps You Lose Weight 6 进行内部锻炼
8 Improves Your Breathing 7 帮助你减肥
9 Protects The Heart
10 Helps You Live Longer
8 改善你的呼吸
9 保 护 心脏
10 帮 助 您 长 寿

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The Drowning Man
Two racist white men were strolling along a path in a forest. These men had an
intense dislike of black people. They were chatting as they walked along.
“Do you know how to save a black man from drowning if you happen to come
across one struggling in the waters?” the first white man asked the second.
“No,” his friend said after a little while.
The first white man grinned and said, “Oh, That’s good.”
溺水者
两个种族主义白人男子正沿着森林中的一条小路漫步。 这些人非常不喜欢黑
人。 他们边走边聊。 “如果你碰巧遇到一个在水里挣扎的黑人，你知道如
何救他免于溺水吗？” 第一个白人问第二个。 “不，”他的朋友过了一会
儿说。第一个白人笑着说：“哦，那很好。”
Reflections ( 反思 )
Deluded or fanatical people harbor in their hearts
feelings of anger, ill-will and hatred towards certain
groups of people. Their discrimination can bring
cruel actions or harm to others. Such racists will
suffer in due course.
迷惑或狂热的人在他们的心中怀有对某些人群的
愤怒、恶意和仇恨。 他们的歧视会给他人带来残
忍的行为或伤害。 这些种族主义者迟早会遭殃。 3
 Traffic Lights
The teacher was trying to teach the 6-year old Thai boys the importance of understanding and
obeying traffic rules.
“Listen, boys,” the teacher began. “Suppose you are of age and are driving and approaching the
traffic lights. As you near the lights, you see the orange lights coming on. What should you do?”
One student at the front row stood up and said, “I should speed up!”
The teacher reprimanded the boy and explained what ought to be done and why.
Then the teacher asked, “Chai, when a driver sees the red lights, what should he do?”
Chai said, “He should look around to see if there are any policemen!”
红绿灯
老师试图教导 6 岁的泰国男孩理解和遵守交通规则的重要性。 “听着，孩子们，”老师开始
说。 “假设你已经成年，正在开车接近红绿灯。 当你靠近灯时，你会看到橙色的灯亮了。 你该
怎么办？”前排一位同学站起来说：“我该加快速度了！”老师训斥了这个男孩并解释了应该做
什么以及为什么。然后老师问：“柴，司机看到红灯怎么办？”柴说：“他应该四处看看有没有
警察！”

Reflections ( 反思 )
Proper moral and ethical education is very
important for the young ones so that they can grow
up to be good and law-abiding citizens.

适当的道德和伦理教育对青少年来说非常重要，
这样他们才能成长为守法的好公民。
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Protection from Buddhas?
First Thai Man : Yesterday, I had a car crash. I don’t understand why.
Second Thai Man : What do you mean …’you don’t understand’?
First Thai Man : You see, my car has many Buddha images at the front dash board.
Second Thai Man : How fast were you driving?
First Thai Man : 150 kilometers per hour
Second Man : Oh you have to understand this. When your speed exceeds 120, all
Buddhas get out of the car!
佛的保护？
第一个泰国人：昨天，我出了车祸。 我不明白为什么。 第二个泰国人：你什么意思…
…“你不明白”？ 第一个泰国人：你看，我的车前仪表板上有很多佛像。第二个泰国
人：你开多快？ 第一个泰国人：每小时 150 公里第二个男人：哦，你必须明白这一点。
当你的车速超过 120 时，诸佛下车！

 
Reflections ( 反思 )
Superstitious or deluded people have wrong views
of safety and protection. Proper moral conduct and
wise action are important for safety.

迷惑或狂热的人在他们的心中怀有对某些人群的
愤怒、恶意和仇恨。 他们的歧视会给他人带来残
忍的行为或伤害。 这些种族主义者迟早会遭殃。
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The Game of Golf
A woman told her friend, “I just don’t understand why men find golf so attractive.”
“Yeah, me too,” the friend said. “It’s so silly to be under the sun for so many hours.”
The first woman said, “I once followed my husband in his golfing. He was angry and told me
I asked too many questions.”
The friend asked, “Well, I’m sure you were just trying to understand the game. What
questions did you ask?”
“Well, I asked legitimate questions like ‘Why did you hit the ball into the lake?’”
高尔夫游戏
一位女士告诉她的朋友，“我只是不明白为什么男人会觉得高尔夫如此有吸引力。”
“是的，我也是，”朋友说。 “在阳光下呆了这么多小时真是太傻了。”第一个女人
说：“我曾经跟着我丈夫打高尔夫球。 他很生气，说我问了太多问题。” 朋友问：
“好吧，我确定你只是想了解游戏。 你问了什么问题？” “嗯，我问了一些合理的
问题，比如‘你为什么把球打进湖里？’”
 
Reflections ( 反思 )
The questions a person asks can anger or irritate
another person because the questioner lacks basic
knowledge and understanding of what he observes.
One gets angry because his ego is bruised.

一个人提出的问题可能会激怒或激怒另一个人，
因为提问者缺乏基本知识和对他所观察到的事物
的理解。一个人生气是因为他的自我受到伤害。 6
Wanting To Kill Himself
One day a suicidal middle-aged man went to a railway track and lay himself
across the line. He was waiting for the train to run over him. A passer-by
noticed this and asked, “What are you doing?” The man replied, “I am going
to kill myself.”
The passer-by asked, “Why are you holding a loaf of bread in your hand?”
“You want me to starve to death if the train does not come?” the suicidal man
said.

想自杀
一天，一位想自杀的中年男子走到铁轨上，躺在铁轨上。 他在等火车从他身上碾过。 一
个路人发现了这一点，问道：“你在做什么？” 那人回答说：“我要自杀。”路人问：
“你手里拿着面包干嘛？” “火车不来，你想让我饿死？” 自杀的人说。

Reflections ( 反思 )
A person with problems of the mind like
depression can become confused, desperate and
suicidal. Such a person needs help from the
professionals.

患有抑郁症等心理问题的人可能会变得困惑、
绝望和有自杀倾向。 这样的人需要专业人士
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的帮助。
Book of Authority
A religious teacher once became a judge. One day a man came to see him to file a
complaint. The man cried, “Your Honor, your cow has killed mine. It has committed a
crime and I seek compensation.”
The judge shouted, “You silly man! How can the cow know that it is a crime to kill
another cow? The case is dismissed!”
“Oh sorry, your Honor,” the man said. “I got it wrong. Actually, it was my cow that killed
yours.”
“Now we have another problem,” the judge said wryly. “I will open my Book of Authority
and see what it says.”
权威之书
一位宗教老师曾经成为一名法官。 一天，一个人来找他投诉。 那人叫道：“大人，您的牛咬死
了我的。 它犯了罪，我要求赔偿。”法官怒道：“你这傻子！ 这头牛怎么会知道杀了另一头牛
是犯罪呢？ 案件撤销！”“哦，对不起，法官大人，”那人说。 “我弄错了。 其实，是我的牛
害死了你的。”“现在我们有另一个问题，”法官苦笑着说。 “我会打开我的权威之书，看看
上面写了什么。”

Reflections ( 反思 )
Unethical people in authority can change their views,
judgment or actions when their self-interest is affected.
There is much hypocrisy in a materialistic world where
morality declines.

当他们的自身利益受到影响时，不道德的当权者可以改变他们的
观点、判断或行动。 在道德败坏的物质世界里，有很多虚伪。 8
Silly Teacher, Smart Student
A teacher teaching a group of 8-year old kids once called up one of the students, Fabian
to his desk in front of the classroom.
“You are quite stupid,” the teacher scolded the young boy. “You have failed the test.
Anyway, I will give you a last chance to pass. I will ask you one last question. If you
know the answer , I will pass you.” “Thank you Teacher,” young Fabian said politely.
The teacher asked, “How many hairs are there on the tail of a cow?” “Ten thousand two
hundred and eighty-eight,” Fabian answered. “How do you know?” the teacher asked.
“I’m sorry teacher but that is another question,” Fabian answered coolly.

傻老师，聪明学生
一位教一群 8 岁孩子的老师曾经把其中一名学生 Fabian 叫到他在教室前面的桌子旁。“你真
笨。”老师责备这个小男孩。 “你没有通过测试。 不管怎样，我会给你最后一次通过的机会。
我会问你最后一个问题。 如果你知道答案，我会通过你。” “谢谢老师。”小法比安礼貌的说
道。 老师问：“牛尾巴上有几根毛？” “一万二百八十八，”法比安回答。 “你怎么知道？”
老师问。“对不起老师，那是另外一个问题。”法比安冷冷的回答道。

Reflections ( 反思 )
Do not underestimate the intelligence and
creative thinking of some young students.
Teachers who cannot be as smart will not be
respected by the students.

不要低估一些年轻学生的智慧和创造性思维。 不能
聪明的老师不会受到学生的尊重。 9
 Examination Results
Rachael was the only Jewish girl in her class and she was quite happy being there. Her
best friend, Sarah was a Catholic from Greece. When the girls sat for their final exams,
Rachael passed with straight A’s but Sarah failed miserably.
“I just don’t understand,” Sarah complained to Rachael. “Days before the exam, I lit
candles every night and prayed to Saint Peter and so many other saints and see what
happened to my exam results.”
“I too lit a candle every night for days before the exam,” Rachael said.
“What! You are Jewish, you lit candles? To whom?” Sarah said with surprise
“To nobody. I lit the candle and stayed up all night, studying,” Rachael replied.
考试成绩
Rachael 是她班上唯一的犹太女孩，她在那里很开心。 她最好的朋友莎拉是来自希腊的天主教
徒。 当女孩们参加期末考试时， Rachael 以全 A 的成绩通过了考试，但 Sarah 惨遭失败。
“我就是不明白，”莎拉向瑞秋抱怨。 “考试前几天，我每天晚上都点蜡烛，向圣彼得和其他
许多圣人祈祷，看看我的考试成绩会怎样。” “考试前几天，我每天晚上都点蜡烛，”雷切尔
说。 “什么！ 你是犹太人，你点燃蜡烛？ 给谁？” 莎拉惊讶的说道“对任何人。 我点燃了蜡
烛，整晚都在学习，” Rachael 回答道。

Reflections ( 反思 )
Success comes with honest hard work. Mere
praying without putting in good effort is foolish.
There is a saying that God helps those who help
themselves.
成功来自诚实的辛勤工作。 仅仅祈祷而不付出努
力是愚蠢的。 有句话叫天助自助者。 10
A Bet
Norman and Sean were at the movie theatre. Norman made a bet of 100
dollars with Sean, saying that the hero would die during the movie.
When the movie was over, Sean got ready to pay the Norman the bet money
as the hero died in the movie. However, Norman confessed that he had seen
the movie and knew the hero would die. He asked Sean to keep the money.
Sean said, “I too saw the movie before and yet I took on the bet because I
believed that the hero would not make the same mistake twice!”
一个赌注
诺曼和肖恩在电影院。 诺曼和肖恩打赌说男主角会在电影中死去，赌了 100 美元。
电影结束后，肖恩准备向诺曼支付赌金，因为英雄在电影中死了。 然而，诺曼承认
他看过这部电影并且知道主人公会死。 他让肖恩保管好这笔钱。 肖恩说：“我也看
过这部电影，但我还是赌了，因为我相信男主角不会犯两次同样的错误！”

Reflections ( 反思 )
It’s unbelievable that there are people who cannot
think logically. They make assumptions which can
be utterly absurd.
It is important to train the mind to think clearly and
wisely.
令人难以置信的是，有些人无法进行逻辑思考。 他们做
出的假设可能是完全荒谬的。 训练头脑清晰而明智地思
考是很重要的。
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 Flight of Stairs?
Ah Chong and Ah Kow, two burly men were walking home late one night
from the local pub after a couple of hours boozing away. As they headed
down the railway tracks, Ah Chong mumbled, “This is the longest flight of
stairs I have ever climbed in my life.”
Ah Kow said, “Yeah. But it’s not so much the long flight of stairs that
bothers me so much. It’s these low stair railings that are hurting my back.”
楼梯的飞行？
一天深夜，两个魁梧的男人阿冲和阿寇在喝了几个小时酒后从当地的酒吧步行回
家。 顺着铁轨走下去，阿冲喃喃地说：“这是我这辈子爬过的最长的楼梯。”阿
九道：“是啊。 但让我如此烦恼的并不是长长的楼梯。 是这些低矮的楼梯栏杆伤
了我的背。”

Reflections ( 反思 )
When the mind is intoxicated due to drinking, it
loses its clear thinking and perception. The
intoxicated person can then think, speak or act
in the most foolish ways. He can also commit
immoral actions of the speech and body.
当心因酒醉时，就会失去清晰的思维和感知。 喝醉
的人会以最愚蠢的方式思考、说话或行动。 他也可
以做出不道德的言语和身体行为。 12
 A meaningful piece of good humor a day
can help us to keep negative thoughts away.
May we face Life’s trouble wisely
come what may.

每天一段有意义的幽默可以帮助我们远离消
极的想法。愿我们明智地面对生活中可能发
生的困难。

The End 结束

May you be well 愿你安好 With Metta,

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and happy 和开心 Bro. Oh Teik Bin