Stroke Definition

• Dr rene spitz 1945 studies states that lack of

stimulaisation will affect the mental and
physical condition .
• mental depriviation syndrome
Solitary confinement
Dr, Rene spitz 1945. studies states that lack of stimulation , will affect the mental and
physical condition
Bernes, choice of the word stroke refers to the infant need for
touching
Activity

GIVE A POSITIVE CONDITIONAL STROKE

BETWEEN EACH OTHER

GIVE A INTERNAL POSITIVE UNCONDITIONAL

STROKE TO YOUR SELF
Activity

• Write down two strokes you gave today

• Write down two strokes you received today.
• Identify which kind of stroke it is.
• Verbal or Non verbal.
• Positive or Negative.
• Conditional or Unconditional.
• Positive conditional.
• Positive unconditional.
• Negative conditional.
• Negative Unconditional
• Internal or External.
Stroking and reinforcement of behavior

• Stroking reinforces
the behavior which is
stroked.
• If therepositive
enough do not seem
to be
fulfill strokes
stroking, we willtogoour need
ahead
and seek out fornegative
strokes.
• Quality and intensity
of strokes are important.
Stroke Filter / Discount

• When someone gets a stroke that

doesn’t fit in with her preferred
stroke quotient, she is likely to
ignore it or belittle it.
• Discounts an internal
are mechanism which
by minimize people
or an aspect of maximi
reality,
(grandiosity)or others.
themselves ze
• In other they are not
words
accounting for the reality of or
themselves others
the or
situation.
Stroke bank.

• When we get a stroke from someone, we

store the memory of it away in our stroke
bank.
• Later, we can go back to the bank and pull the
stroke out to use again as self strokes.
• If the stroke was one we specially
appreciated, we may reuse it many
times over.
• Eventually, these lose its effectiveness. We
need to top up our bank with new strokes
from others.
Stroke Economy
 Stroke
Economy
• In book “Scripts
the People
Live” (1974) Claude Steiner a
close friend of Berne develops
the theme of stroke economy.
• The stroke economy describes
how society has developed a
system to control and compete
in the giving and receiving of
strokes.
Steiner wrote a children’s story
“The Warm Fuzzy Tale”
 The Warm Fuzzy Tale
• In this story he tells how a happy
family freely gave warm "fuzzies"
until a wicked witch who deceived
them by telling them that their
warm fuzzies will run out.
• The family started to hold back
from giving warm fuzzies, and as
this spreads through their
community people’s backs start to
shrivel up, and people start to die.
 The Warm Fuzzy Tale

1. As the witch wishes to sell her

salves and potions she doesn’t
actually wish people to die, she
invents cold pricklies, and plastic
fuzzies which keep people alive
and unhappy so that they carry
on buying her potions and salves
from her.
2. However, the children eventually
learn that they won’t run out of
the warm fuzzies, and so start
giving them away freely again
inviting the adults to join them.
 Stroke
Economy
• The stroke economy creates a
scarcity of love and affection by
imposing a set of rules that
govern the exchange of strokes.
• These are
rules
internally by theenforced
inner
Parent and externally by the
Critical
restrictive social that
surround
mores us.
• Disobedience of these rules
results in feelings of guilt, shame
and unworthiness and externally
in widespread social disapproval.
 Stroke
• Claude
Economy
suggests that as
Steiner
children, we are all indoctrinated
by our parents with five restrictive
rules about stroking.
• Don’t give strokes
when you have
them to give.
• Don’t ask for strokes when
you need them.
• Don’t accept strokes if you
want them.
• Don’t reject strokes
when you don’t
want them.
• Don’t give yourself strokes.
 Stroke Economy
• These five rules together
are the basis of
Steiner what
calls
economy. the
• By training children
stroke
to obey
these rules, parents ensure
that a situation in which
strokes could be available in
a limitless supply is
transformed into a situation
in which the supply is low
and the price parents can
extract from them is high.
 Stroke
•
monopolist
Steiner believes parents do
this as a way of controlling
their children.
• By teaching children
strokes are in that
short supply,
the parents the
gain
position
of monopolist. strok
• Knowing strokese
that essential, are
the to
learns child
them by
get
performing in wayssoonwhich
mother and father
demands.
 Stroke
• As grownups,
monopolist
we still
unawarely obey the five rules.
• As a result, we spend our lives
in a state of partial stroke
deprivation.
• We use energy in
much
seeking out the strokes we
still believe to be in short
supply.
 Stroke starvation
As people intimidated by
these internal and external
sanctions follow the stroke
economy’s rules on a
culture wide basis, the
outcome is lowering of
a
affectionate exchange
resulting s
in generalize
“Stroke starvation”.
 Stroke starvation
Stroke starved people will
become depressed and
will
resort to self
methods damaging of
strokes just as
obtaining
people will eat rotten food
starving
or people dying of thirst will
drink salt water.
 Stroke
starvation
Eventually harmful
, methods of
strokes obtaini
become
to stroke hungry ng
people
who know of nohabitual
other
way of fulfilling their need
for human recognition.
 Reclaiming
• To reclaim our
awareness
awareness,
spontaneity and intimacy, We need
to reject our restrictive basic
training . We need to become
aware that
• Strokes are limitless
in
supply.
• We can give a stroke when
we want.
• When we want, we can ask.
• We can take stroke
when offered.
• If we don’t like the stroke,
we can
• We canreject enjoy
it openly.giving
ourselves strokes.
 Re-decision
• Most of restrict our
us strokeexchange in
accordance with our
early childhood decisions.
• These decisions were made
in response to our
perceptions infant of
from parents.
• As grown ups,pressures
we can re
assess these decisions and
change them if we want to.
 Activity
• Exchange with
your
strokes group
• members. you experienced
How
giving, accepting and rejecting
• strokes.
Which you comfortable
were
and uncomfortable with?
• When you were uncomfortable,
do you trace that back to rules
you remember your parents
setting for you as a child?
 Asking for strokes
• There is one myth about
stroking that almost all of us are
taught. The myth is “Strokes
that you have to ask for are
worthless”.
• The reality is that strokes that
you get by asking are worth just
as much as strokes you
get without asking.
 Asking for strokes
• You may object: “But if I ask,
maybe the other person may
give me stroke just be nice”
• Appraising from Adult, we can
see this as a possibility.
• Alternatively, the stroke may be
sincere.
• There a good chance
others
is maythat
have been wanting
to stroke you but been
hearing their parent
proclaiming had give
strokes”. own
“Don’t
 Asking for strokes
• You always have the option of
checking with the other person
whether or not their stroke was
genuine.
• If it was not, you have further
options. You may choose to take it
anyway or you can reject their
marshmallow and ask for a stroke
that is genuine, form the same
person or from somebody else.
 Activity

• Be in groups of four.
• Exercise is on asking strokes.
• A person “It” takes three minutes to ask the
others for strokes.
• Strokers responding by giving the strokes
asked for if they are genuinely willing to give
it. If not, say “I am not willing to give you the
• It stroke right now.”
his/her
shares
with others.experience
 Activity
• Write down at least five positive strokes
you want but don’t usually ask for.
• In the following month, ask at least one
person for each of these strokes.
• If you get the stroke, thank the stroker.
• If you do not, it is ok to ask for adult
information about why the other person
did not want to give the stroke asked
for.
• Homework is over when you have asked
for the strokes whether or not you got
all of them. When you have asked for all
the strokes on your list, give yourself a
stroke for doing the exercise.