Communication Skills for Families

Presented by ComPsych Corporation

®
Agenda

Explore family communication patterns

Learn techniques to communicate feelings
Learn ways to resolve differences and find common ground

Develop skills to communicate effectively within families

(even with the dog!)

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Questions

What do you feel you do well in

communicating with your family?
What are some of the challenges you
encounter in communication with your family?

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 Family Communication Patterns

High Pluralistic Consensual

Conversation

Low Laissez-
Protective
Faire

Low High
Conformity
*Koerner & Fitzpatrick

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The Importance of Listening

• Active listening means truly concentrating on what

someone is saying. Although it is a skill that doesn’t
necessarily come naturally, it is easily learned and
works equally well with both adults and children.
• Listen attentively
• Listen with your full attention
• Listen with your eyes as well as your ears
• Keep your own responses to a minimum
• Acknowledge and reflect feelings
• Ask probing questions

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Creating Positive Interaction within Families

Positive Recognition Should Be…

• Genuine
• Descriptive and specific
• Immediate

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Resolving Conflict

Effective Problem Solving Includes…

• Identify the problem or issue
• An explanation
• Exploring alternative solutions
• Examining the consequences

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What To Do…

• Find a way to control your feelings

• Understand that it’s not anger, but how we
handle it
• Talk about your feelings
• Create a process for resolving problems
without anger
• Recognize that abuse is never allowed
• Listen to your body
• Give the other person a chance to speak
• Recognize it’s not about winning

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What Not To Do…

• Avoid or deny the conflict

• Give in rather than struggle through the
conflict
• Get mad and blame the other person
• Use power and influence to get your way
• Raise your voice
• Appear to compromise but really are trying to
manipulate
• Stockpile every conflict
• Threaten your relationship

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Causes of Anger

• Annoyance
• Disappointment
• Harassment
• Frustration
• Threats
• Entitlement
• Hurt

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‘You’ versus ‘I’ Statements

‘You’ Statements
• Can put the other person on the defensive and lead to arguments
• Example: You were late and never even called!
‘I’ Statements
• “I think . . .”
• “I feel . . .”
• “I need . . .”
• “What I hear you saying is . . .”

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‘You’ versus ‘I’ Statements Exercise

Change the following ‘You’ statements into ‘I’ statements:

• “You never listen to what I have to say!”
• “You don’t care about me!’”
• “You leave me out of everything!”
• “You don’t understand!”
• “You really irritate me!”

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Communicating the Problem

• Name the behavior or situation you want

changed
• Say how you feel about the situation
• State your reason for wanting the behavior
changed
• Say what you want done
• Ask for agreement

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Ideas to Facilitate Communication

• Make it a priority to eat meals together

• Turn off the TV at meals – instead find out what people did that day
• Schedule one on one time with each child and your partner
- Go to lunch
- Go to the playground

• Encourage family stories to develop relationships, pass down traditions, and

teach lessons
• Hold regular family meetings
- Establish meeting rules
- Anyone can call a meeting if they have an issue to discuss
- Require each person to say one thing they’re happy about and one thing
they’d like to change
- Consider following a family meeting with a fun activity or game

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Thank You for Attending

Your single source for confidential support, expert

information and valuable resources, when you
need it the most.

Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

Online: guidanceresources.com

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