The Significant Others

• Significant other, or significant others, is synonymous with the term “relevant

other.”
• In social psychology, the term denotes a person that guides and takes care of the
child during primary socialization – a parent, uncle or aunt, grand parent or
teacher. He or she protects, rewards, and punishes the child as a way of aiding the
child’s development.
• In psychology, a significant other is any individual who has pronounced
importance in a person’s life or well-being.
• In sociology, a significant other is any person with strong influence on
individual’s self concept.
 The Significant Others

• Nowadays, the term “significant others” is used to refer to all people who
are of sufficient importance in a person’s life to affect his or her emotions,
behavior, and sense of self. Parents, siblings, relatives, teachers,
community leaders, Friends.
 Dealing with Significant Others
1. Genuinely respect other people.
If you want others to treat you with respect, you need to truly
respect them first. Respect, like love, is felt. Respect begets respect.
2. Never lose faith.
Have faith in the creator and the humanity He created. Indeed, some
people had chosen to become evil, contrary to what God wants. But
humanity is “like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the
ocean does not become (necessarily) dirty.”
3. Remember that the other is a mystery.
Never think that you already really know someone completely. Do
not make assumptions. Don’t presuppose either that somebody
totally knows you – your thoughts, opinions, and conditions.
 Dealing with Significant Others
4. Share your blessings.
Finding ways to give back is satisfying. When a person becomes happy
because of our selfless acts, we feel a sense of fulfilment. Sharing your
blessings is never meaningless.
5. Rebuild your self-esteem through friendship.
True and loving friendship can and does rebuild one’s self-esteem.
6. Eat with somebody you enjoy being with.
Amiable conversations with people dear to you can make mealtime pleasant.
 Dealing with Significant Others
7. Nurture your friendship with good people.
Collect friends. But, at the end of the day, you have to keep the good ones and
avoid the bad influences. Friendship should gain it, keep it and maintain it, for
it is priceless.
8. Earn others’ respect.
Respect is not really that easy to earn. You should gain , keep it, and maintain
it, for it’s priceless.
9. Listen to someone who is speaking.
If you patiently listen, the one speaking will recognize your appreciation,
respect, concern and attention. Respect begets respect.
 Dealing with Significant Others
10. Say “Please” and “Thank You.”
Treating other persons with respect is very important because everyone of us
wants to be respected also. Showing respect to others can be done in simple
ways like by saying, “Please” and “Thank you”.
11. Don’t talk about somebody behind his/her back.
If you are a back fighter who wants to downgrade others, then you don’t
deserve to be respected.
12. Don’t contain your anger all the time.
If somebody does or says something that makes you angry, then tell him/her in
a nice way. Holding back unhealthy emotions will only cause them to return
and haunt you later in life.
 Dealing with Significant Others

13. Don’t judge someone for his/her belief.

Don’t think ill of anyone just because he or she has a different religion
or political belief from your own. Also, don’t judge a person based on
his or her social status and family background.
14. Be true to your words and promises.
Be honest and reliable. A respectable person is one who is honest in his
words. He can be trusted to do what he promises.
 Dealing with Significant Others
15. Properly deal with those who have offended you.
If you hold anger against anyone, consider talking to him/her about it. You
might be surprised to learned that this person has no idea that he/she has
offended you.
16. Be yourself all the time.
In dealing with other people, don’t pretend to be someone else. As we’ve
been mentioning, “It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved
for what you are not.”
17. Avoid excessive anger.
Anger is one of the natural human emotions. But excessive anger could be
harmful to your well-being and to those around you. Get away from anger
and reduce the amount of anger you feel on a day-to-day basis.
 Dealing with Significant Others
18. Be at peace with other people.
If you become angry in a room or office, try to go out and get some fresh air or
have a walk. Drink cool (not icy) water to get rid of your anger. Avoid taking
sweet or fatty foods which increase blood pressure. Engage an exercise that
provide calmness.
19. Refuse to be irritated by anyone.
Refuse to be annoyed, specially by those who matter to you. When you feel that
you are almost becoming angry, take a pause. Take ten, slow deep breaths.
Think of something funny. Try to imagine the best scene in your favorite
comedy movie.
 Dealing with Significant Others
20. Surround yourself with optimistic people
 Be friendly, but hangout with friends who are positive thinkers and have a
good sense of humor.
21. Don’t increase the amount of hate in the world.
Look at the positive side of every event and development. Always see beauty
in the world where you and your significant others belong. Count your
blessings.
22. Treat people equally.
The ability to treat people equally is a sign of a mature and wise mind. Albert
Einstein related, “I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is a
garbage man or the president of the university.”
 Dealing with Significant Others
23. Don’t make changing others your profession.
 Especially if someone doesn’t care about you, do not consider it your
obligation to change him/her. But you may pray for him/her.
24. Be practically selfless.
 Yes, living your life for other people can be good, but this entails that you have
already lived your life for yourself first and foremost. In fact, there are times
when you have to do what’s good for you, even if it means hurting even those
people you care for.
25. Make other people your source of inspiration.
 By mere by looking at or thinking of other people, you can be spiritually
strong. When problem seem to plague your life, others could make you realize
that they have gone through the same problems thata you have today.
 Dealing with Significant Others
26. Be righteously friendly.
Being cautious in friendship, like being wise to choosing those you befriend, is
one measure of being righteous. None less than the Bible state. “A righteous
man is cautious in friendship but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”
27. Never hurt anyone just to feel good.
Remember that calling someone fat won’t make you any slimmer. Judging
others’ outfit as “country” (“baduy”) won’t make you getup more fashionable.
 Dealing with Significant Others
28. Never backstab anyone.
What is worse than betraying someone after pretending to be his/her friend?
“Friendship is a big deal, Backstabbing is even bigger.”
29. Don’t worry much about what others think.
Social conformity is only good as long as it doesn’t hurt you nor destroy your
moral sense. Be originally happy for what you are, especially if what you do
brings honor to your Creator.
 Dealing with Significant Others
30. Be special by loving others with all your heart.
 You maybe a regular man with common life but if you have loved another
with all your heart and mind, that could be enough to be really special at least
to him/her. No memorial may be put up for you when you’re gone, but you
will always have a monument dedicated to you in his/her heart.
 Activity 3: “I am Loving and Capable”
• Write on the board an affirmation (1 per student) that would help you realize that
affirmations are beneficial in becoming determined to reach goals such as to
become more lovable and capable adolescents.
Example of affirmations:
I am well-liked and pleasing person.
I am competent in everything I decide to do.
I acknowledge and accept unconditionally my individuality and unique
personality.
I am not perfect but I am lovable.
I love myself despite my weaknesses.