SOCI 210: Family Assignment

By: Katherine Havican

 Topic 1: gender Identity
How does your family deal with this topic NOW?

Gender identity is the personal sense of one's own gender. This can correlate with a persons assigned
sex or can differ from it. My family believes gender identity is the sex someone is assigned at birth,
although this can also differ from this. While this is how someone feels such a sense of being a man or
women, this can also be a feeling of being non-binary. A non-binary individual may identify as a
blend of male or female, no gender at all, or different gender. My family doesn't really support this
idea of non-binary and i'm not sure if its because they just don’t understand it, as a lot has changed
over the years. I also don’t believe they understand the differences between terms such as gender
identity and sexuality.
 What do you plan to do in the future with your own family that you know now?
What did you change and why?

In the future with my own family I plan to focus on teaching these important terms such
as gender identity. It is important for my family to know that individuals can be non-
binary and have a sense of identity that may differ from what we normally hear about.
Feeling as if you don’t fit in to typical society norms is hard enough and I feel supporting
those feelings this way does only good and no harm. I will still preach my parents ideas of
gender identity of a sense of male or female, but add the sense of feeling non-binary as
well. It is important for me to teach the term gender identity different from my family
origin because it allows for open-mindedness and acceptance of everyone.
 Topic 2: Parenting

How does your family deal with this topic NOW?

Parenting is an important topic as this can affect the child's well-being and development. I
can’t speak on my younger years because of my vague memory but with in my younger
years I learned alot about parenting. I agreed with certain parenting tactics my parents
used such as punishments for not listening and always being my number one supporters.
They supported me in everything I did and always but my well-being first, even before
them. They also emphasize on the importance of working for what I want and this carried
into my adulthood.
 What do you plan to do in the future with your own family that you know now?
What did you change and why?

I plan to carry on the importance of my families well-being and always looking

out for them both physically and mentally. I also love that they believe we have
to work for what we want. I would never want to just hand my kid over
everything, as this teaches nothing. Learning these traits younge are important
and in my option lead to success in the “real world”. The only aspect of their
parenting I plan to do differently is not allowing for fighting and yelling to be
seen in front of them. Arguments should be a private matter and without getting
into details seeing these types of arguments at a young age can be traumatizing
and have negative effects on future relationships. This is something I do not
want for my future family.
Bandura’s Bobo Doll Experiment
https://www.simplypsychology.org/bobo-doll.html

https://youtu.be/xjP8eRaW3M8?si=EPhU-IjI0tDIVHbu
This looks into the social learning theory. This correlates to parenting as this shows
that children can learn social behavior such as aggression through watching the
behavior of another person.
 Topic 3: Socialization
How does your family deal with this topic NOW?
Looking at socialization in my own family I feel like I had to adjust to our society and
behave in a respectable manner. My family definitely expected a certain behavior from me
and had certain beliefs that I had to follow growing up. They believe on giving their
children the right skills, beliefs, and values to succeed. They gave me valuable life lessons
and from a young age I know right from wrong. I feel the way my family knew and taught
the importance of socialization was very beneficial to me.
 What do you plan to do in the future with your own family that you know now?
What did you change and why?

With my family in the future I plan to explain and understand the importance of
socialization.I also believe on giving my children and family the right skills and values to
succeed. Socialization is a central aspect in both personality and development. It is
important to know what is right and wrong in your society and grow from this. If I had to
change something differently then what my parents did I wouldn’t force my beliefs on my
family. While I feel values and skills are important to learn, I feel we can have different
beliefs and forcing these on a child will not help.
 Topic 4: Gender at work

How does your family deal with this topic NOW?

Gender at work is an important topic talked about within our textbook. In our textbook it
states, “Some of the most common occupations in the United States -Truck driving,
Construction work, and nursing for example- are almost completely segregated my gender”
(Cohen, 2020) This show the impacts gender can have and looking into field women
dominate such as childcare show the relation to their stay at home jobs without pay years
before. My family seems to have taught these stereotypes as well within gender at work. I
remember mentioning mabey doing welding at boces and getting a weird look from my mom
because of this being dominated by men. They feel gender impacts work tremendously, even
with pay. However they know understand that I am cable of any job and are more open
minded.
 What do you plan to do in the future with your own family that you know now?
What did you change and why?

In the future With my own family I plan for gender in the workplace to be a topic of
discussion. It's important for my kids to know they can do anything they put their
mind to and I will support their decision. I don’t want my family feeling as if their
gender will affect them from doing something they love because of society's views.
Teaching the importance of doing what you love regardless of gender or societies
views is something that is important for me to change, in regards to how my family
grew up.
 Topic 5: Sexuality

How does your family deal with this topic NOW?

My family now believes individuals can be gay, straight, bisexual, and asexual. While my
definition is longer than this I my family does not even understand half of the new terms we
have today. My family doesn't understand how one's sexuality can change over time as well. I
was never taught that someone could be sexualy fluid or that sexuality could change over time.
Knowing the ability to change one’s sexual attraction or identity in certain situations or over-
time is common was very interesting. My sister was actually straight until after her teenage
years and realizing who she truly was. This article made me understand this topic a lot more.
Here's More Evidence Sexual Orientation Is Fluid Right Into Our Adult Years : ScienceAlert
 What do you plan to do in the future with your own family that you know now?
What did you change and why?

While my family now seems to not be as aware of terms such as individuals being pansexual or
transgender, I would like my future family to understand these different forms of sexuality. I
feel you can be straight or gay, bisexual, transgender, pansexual, asexual, and more. Many
people I know have been attracted to one gender in their younger years but as they changed and
grew up their sexual identity changed as well. One of my friends feels that they base their
attraction not only on gender but on physical attraction and personality. She now identifies as
pansexual and used to be straight, showing a change in her sexual attraction. I feel I would just
change in my future family how these topics are viewed. They need to be both understood and
viewed and it is important to know that sexuallity changing throughout ones life is normal.
 Topic 6: Gender roles

How does your family deal with this topic NOW?

Gender roles can be seen as societal expectations. This can be how we act, dress, speak,
conduct ourselves, and more based on our genders. I feel my family didn’t really address
this topic, but unintentionally showed these stereotypes. My Dad worked a typical job as
a construction worker, while my mom was a stay at home mom. This is what many of
gender role stereotypes look like. Such as women are meant to be housewives, while the
men make the money. However, I am glad these stereotypes weren't something I actually
learned and felt was what I was supposed to do as a women in my future.
 What do you plan to do in the future with your own family that you know now?
What did you change and why?

With my own family in the future as sad as it is I know gender stereotypes and roles
are still talked about and this will need to be a topic discussed. I will never make
negative comments regarding gender roles such as, “Men are stronger than women”
or “the best women are housewives” these are comments I have heard before and
definitely put a negative outlook on gender roles in our society. No matter what
gender my family members are it is important they know they are capable of
anything, even if it is outside of “society's norms”.
Topic 7: Education
How does your family deal with this topic NOW?
My family has always viewed education as important. My mom never got to finish high
school because she became pregnant with my sister her senior year. This caused her to
always want better for my sister and me and teach the importance of education. I always
had strict rules when it came to school such as having to finish my homework before I
could hang out with friends, and making sure to always get good grades. My family has
and still views education as important.
 What do you plan to do in the future with your own family that you know now?
What did you change and why?

In the future with my own family I also feel as if I will stress the importance of education.
However, after highschool I don’t feel education is the only way to succeed. For example,
My fiance makes twice as much as I make right now and I would have to get a masters to
even try and make what he does, and this is with no college education. While I know the
importance of education, I also do not want to force this on my kids. Something I would
change Is not stressing my kids out to much in relation to school such as having to get
perfect grades. This can become very overwhelming and not have positive effects.
 Topic 8: Manners

How does your family deal with this topic NOW?

Manners are something that I was taught from a young age. These can be seen as
unenforced standards of conduct. Manners show correct conduct and respectfulness. I feel
it is important that I was always taught manners. I remember always having to say thank
you, excuse me, you’re welcome, please, and more. When we ate at the table for dinner
we had set rules as well such as no phones at the table, No elbows on the table, Waiting
for everyone before we start eating, making sure to wash hands, and more. While to others
this may seem excessive, this taught me manners I carried throughout adulthood.
 What do you plan to do in the future with your own family that you know now?
What did you change and why?

In the future with my own family I plan to teach manners, as my family does now.
These taught me to be polite and respectful from a young age. I want to teach my
children table manners as well such as the ones my parents taught. For example,
making sure hands are washed before dinner and no phones are at the table. I feel this
will teach respect and allow for meaningful conversations. I feel if I had to change
something in regards to manners I would make sure to teach more than dinner table
manners and make sure outside of the house these manners are being portrayed.
 Topic 9: Social Problems (Drugs, Alcohol, Abuse)
How does your family deal with this topic NOW?
Social problems have a powerful influence on individuals well-being and even the health
of society. This can consist of topics such as substance use, alcohol use, Abuse, and more.
I feel like these social problems within my family were not addressed. Alcohol use was
something I experienced a lot of from a young age. My mom had become extremely
addicted to alcohol and I remember her becoming aggressive when she would drink. She
would brush anything I said of such as trying to help her quite. She viewed this topic as
normal and never addressed this problem growing up. Now she does not drink at all and
has changed tremendously. She talks of the affects this can cause and the importance of
not drinking excessively.
 What do you plan to do in the future with your own family that you know now?
What did you change and why?

In the future with my own family I plan to address these social problems. I now know the
affects these can negatively have on not only the person going through it but the family
surrounding them. This can affect a large group of people within a family as it is hard to
help someone addicted to a habit but it affects you to see them not be themselves as well. I
would definitely change the way this is looked at in my future family. This should not be
something that it looked by, as this needs to be addressed. Any form of social problem,
such as bullying needs to be addressed and looked into.
 Topic 10: Intimacy

How does your family deal with this topic NOW?

My family doesn't talk about the topic of intimacy. I actually never had a sit down
conversation of this topic and it was always seen as a negative and taboo topic. I
remember first talking on this topic my sophomore year of highschool and feeling very
awkward in class. My family always viewed sex as a negative topic and in health class
they only preached abstinence making this topic even more scary to me. I remember when
I did experience my first sexual partner, who I am still with today and being scared to tell
my mom. It was not only awkward but I was looked at as if I did something wrong and I
know I would never want my future kids to go through this.
 What do you plan to do in the future with your own family that you know now?
What did you change and why?

In the future with my own family, I want to make sure these conversations about
intimacy are had and normal. I don’t want this topic to be viewed negatively and I
want my kids to feel like they can come to me with questions and about this topic in
general. I would never be mad at my kid for experiencing intimacy as they grow up,
as this is completely normal. This is some of the changes I would make with this topic
in my future. It is important to discuss and view as a normal topic and not negative.
 References:

Cohen, P. N. (2020). The Family: Diversity, Inequality, and Social Change. W.W. Norton.
Duman, S., & Margolin, G. (2007, March). Parents’ aggressive influences and children’s aggressive problem
solutions with peers. Journal of clinical child and adolescent psychology : the official journal for the Society of
Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, American Psychological Association, Division 53.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2649668/

By, Mcleod, S., on, U., & 14, J. (2023, June 14). Bobo doll experiment: Description, methodology, results,
& evaluation. Simply Psychology. https://www.simplypsychology.org/bobo-doll.html
Cassella, C. (2019, May 4). Here’s more evidence sexual orientation is fluid right into our adult years.
ScienceAlert.
https://www.sciencealert.com/sexual-orientation-continues-to-change-right-through-our-teens-and-into-adu
lthood