A Doctor was explaining to a Irishman how nature sometimes compensates for a persons deficiencies.

"For example," he told him, "If a man is deaf, he may have keener sight, and if a man is blind, he may have a keen sense of smell." "I think I see what you mean," said the Paddy, "I've often noticed that if a man has one short leg, then the other one is always longer....." A recent survey found that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population. I used to work in a plant crushing pop cans: It was soda pressing. Junior asks his dad, "Daddy, how was I born?" "Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete button." "Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity from a self extracting file which had implanted itself in her BIOS. Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said: 'You've Got Male'!"

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What's your name?" he asked the new guy. "John," the new guy replied. The manager scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, and Baker ... That's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?" The new guy sighed, "Darling. My name is John Darling." "Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . .