THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO
28 MAY 2013
ThingsThat Make You Go
In the early 1960s, a new planet was discovered in the outer reaches of the universe, and itturned out to be a strange place, populated by some weird and wonderful characters. Originallythe planet was a normal spheroid, but due to a peculiar set of events the planet is now cube-shaped. The planet was given the name Htrae.Htrae is better known as Bizarro World.There are differing opinions as to how the planet wascreated, but it is generally acknowledged that it wasfused together from stray meteors in order to createa home for the Bizarros — a race of people created byBizarro #1 through the use of a duplicator ray.The Bizarros are imperfect duplicates of humans,mostly (with the odd Kryptonian feature thrown infor good measure), and many of them, including theoriginal Bizarro himself (Bizarro #1), are actuallypretty close copies of Bizarro's arch-nemesis, Superman.Everything about Bizarro World is backwards, and the planet functions under the Bizarro Code,which states:
"Us do opposite of all Earthly things! Us hate beauty! Us love ugliness! Is big crime tomake anything perfect on Bizarro World!"
All Bizarros have chalky-white skin, but other than that they resemble the human they wereduplicated from. They even share that person's memories and feelings; however, they lack theclarity of mind to be able to act as the original would, and they cannot function as citizens ofhuman society.In "The Bizarro Jerry," the 137th episode of the long-running "show about nothing",
ourSuperman-obsessed comedian is confronted by "Kevin", his opposite in every respect, a productof Bizarro World, the place where everything is diametrically opposed to the natural order ofthings as we are familiar with it. The episode has become familiar to millions; however, nothingin either
is quite as Bizarro as the nancial landscape in which wend ourselves today.
Well, almost nothing.In one edition of
Tales of the Bizarro World,
the planet's mayor appoints Bizarro #1 toinvestigate a crime "... because you are stupider than the entire Bizarro police force puttogether". This is both intended and received as a great compliment.