vulnerabilities of others, but, instead of sympathizing, they take advantage of these vulnerabilitiesfor their own gain.These enactors are more complex and some may say more interesting than True Believersand Reactors. This third type of being a shit is called Type 3, Clever Foxes.R
On their own, these three types—Reactors, True Believers, and Clever Foxes—cannotaccomplish being a shit because attaining that status requires recipients who buy into their cover-ups. Recipients come in more than one variety. Some believe they are responsible for the conductof others. When enactors blame them, they take the blame. Some others are susceptible tohumorous cover-ups, and others fall for cover-ups that play upon their sympathy. Somerecipients flounder in confusion when enactors cover up. They are unsure of what is going onand give enactors the benefit of the doubt or think maybe it is them. Others are satisfied withenactors’ explanations and are not confused. They think they know what is going on but they donot.Theories of being a shit that come from recipients cannot enlighten because enactorshave succeeded in hoodwinking them, have led them down the garden path, taken them to thecleaners, duped them, and eaten them for lunch. Any theories recipients construct are basedupon the premise that false representations are true.H
The three types of enactors and the many different kinds of recipients have only partial views and even these views are distorted. As a result, we know little about being a shit. We do not know how many different kinds of shitty behaviors there are, what purposesbeing a shit serves, or how being a shit ties us to and divides us from other people, includingpeople we love and who love us. We have few ideas about how to respond to those who enactunkind deeds and cover-ups. This present investigation may be the first to developsystematic knowledge about being a shit, further testimony to the neglect of this importanttopic.
About This Article
This article is a chapter from a book called
On Being a Shit: Unkind Deeds and Cover-Ups in Everyday Life.
The book is for people who have free-floating guilt and low-leveldepression. Whenever something bad or uncomfortable happens between them andother people, they think, I must be at fault. I must have done something wrong.Otherwise, she/he/they would not treat me this way. What blame-takers do not know is that other people make serious efforts to shiftblame and avoid responsibility for their own unkind behaviors.Typical blame-shifting strategies are indignation, hurt, humor, name-calling,mockery, threats of abandonment, white lies, and stonewalling. There are many