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HHOOWWTTOOUUSSEEBBOODDYYLLAANNGGUUAAGGEE 
Drs. Sharon and Glenn Livingston
Copyright 2004, Psy Tech Inc.All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer: For education only. Please do not use the information in this book as your sole source of information for making decisions about important real life issues. Although the authors hold doctorates in psychology, and althoughevery effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of the findings presented herein, body language is NOT an exactscience, and the interpretations offered in this book are not the only ones possible. Most importantly, please do notutilize this book in lieu of a consultation with a licensed mental health or medical professional.
 
 2
Table Of Contents
HOW TO USE BODY LANGUAGE.........................................................................................................................1
 
A WORD ON BEING GENUINE AND SPONTANEOUS
.......................................................................................................4
 
B
ODY
L
ANGUAGE
O
VERVIEW
...................................................................................................................................6
 
Why Learn To Read and Control Body Language?.............................................................................................6 
 
 Definition of Body Language (Kinesics)..............................................................................................................7 
 
 Is It Learned Or Instinctual?................................................................................................................................7 
 
 Is Body Language Under Our Conscious Control?.............................................................................................8
 
What Does Body Language Include?...................................................................................................................8
 
W hat Body Language Does Not Include..............................................................................................................8
 
 Is It Like A Super-Hero Power?...........................................................................................................................9
 
What Do Professionals Do With Body Language?............................................................................................10
 
 Body Language Is Only One Piece Of The Puzzle.............................................................................................11
 
W hat Percent Of Communication Comes Through Body Language?................................................................11
 
 IsKinesics An Exact Science?............................................................................................................................12
 
F
ACTOR S
W
HICH
I
 NFLUENCE
I
 NTERPRETATION
......................................................................................................14
 
Gender Differences............................................................................................................................................14
 
Cult ural Differences...........................................................................................................................................16 
 
 Familiarity And Personal vs. Professional Settings...........................................................................................16 
 
T he Bottom Line on Context...............................................................................................................................17 
 
S
EXUAL
A
 ND
R 
OMANTIC
A
TTRACTION
...................................................................................................................18
 
Sexual and Romantic Gestures...........................................................................................................................18
 
The Bodily Signs of Friendship Are Similar To Romantic Interest, But Shorter Lasting...................................22
 
 Inten se Eye Contact ...........................................................................................................................................24
 
Genuine Romantic Interest vs. Sexual Lust........................................................................................................24
 
Other Romantically-Related Quandaries...........................................................................................................27 
 
H
OW
T
O
C
REATE
S
EXUAL
A
TTRACTION
.................................................................................................................29
 
The First Impression..........................................................................................................................................29
 
The Four Rules of Creating Attraction ..............................................................................................................33
 
D
ETECTING
L
IES
......................................................................................................................................................35
 
Outr ight or Overt Lying.....................................................................................................................................35
 
Semior Covert Lying .........................................................................................................................................37 
 
C hildren vs. Adults.............................................................................................................................................38
 
 Being Used.........................................................................................................................................................38
 
Cont rolling/Covering Up Body Language.........................................................................................................39
 
 BodyLanguage as a Mental Health Indicator...................................................................................................39
 
C heating Spouse.................................................................................................................................................39
 
R 
EADING
P
EOPLE
’
S
M
INDS
......................................................................................................................................42
 
General Techniques...........................................................................................................................................44
 
 Buil ding Trust and Erecting Friendships...........................................................................................................47 
 
 Doct or/Patient Kinesics.....................................................................................................................................48
 
 Rejection vs. Acceptance....................................................................................................................................49
 
S
ELLING AND
I
 NFLUENCING
....................................................................................................................................50
 
 Incr easing the Probability of a Sale...................................................................................................................50
 
 Neut ralizing Angry Customers...........................................................................................................................53
 
 Nervousness .......................................................................................................................................................54
 
 A“Textbook” Example......................................................................................................................................57 
 
 AreYou Making A Good Impression?................................................................................................................58
 
On t he Job Interview..........................................................................................................................................59
 
Conf idence.........................................................................................................................................................59
 
 Dominance vs. Submission.................................................................................................................................59
 
 N egative vs. Positive Body Language................................................................................................................60
 
B
ODY
P
ART
S
PECIFICS
.............................................................................................................................................62
 
 
 3
 Eyes....................................................................................................................................................................62
 
 Facial Expressions.............................................................................................................................................68
 
 Hair ....................................................................................................................................................................71
 
 Legs....................................................................................................................................................................72
 
 Head...................................................................................................................................................................73
 
 Hands.................................................................................................................................................................74
 
Chin....................................................................................................................................................................76 
 
Groin Area.........................................................................................................................................................77 
 
Voice Box...........................................................................................................................................................77 
 
Waist ..................................................................................................................................................................77 
 
 Nose...................................................................................................................................................................78
 
 Arm s...................................................................................................................................................................78
 
 Feet ....................................................................................................................................................................79
 
 Ear .....................................................................................................................................................................79
 
B
ODY
L
ANGUAGE
D
IFFERENCES
A
CROSS
C
ULTURAL
B
OUNDARIES
........................................................................81
 
 Insul ting Gestures..............................................................................................................................................81
 
Greetings............................................................................................................................................................82
 
 Fing er Pointing..................................................................................................................................................84
 
T he Asian Handshake.........................................................................................................................................84
 
 Behaving Yourself Abroad .................................................................................................................................85
 
M
IRRORING
B
ODY
L
ANGUAGE
................................................................................................................................90
 
Cats....................................................................................................................................................................91
 
 Dog  s...................................................................................................................................................................93
 
 Horses................................................................................................................................................................95
 
S
OME
V
ERY
S
PECIFIC
P
OSTURES
A
 ND
M
OVEMENTS
...............................................................................................98
 
S
OME
F
INAL
M
ISCELLANEOUS
T
HOUGHTS
............................................................................................................100
 
Sign s That You Are Invading Someone’s Personal Territory:.........................................................................100
 
 BodyLanguage Clichés ...................................................................................................................................100
 
The Impact of Body Language on Mood..........................................................................................................100
 
 I n Conclusion...................................................................................................................................................101
 
A
PPENDIX
A
 
 – 
 
P
ERSONALITY
T
RAITS
O
FTEN
A
SSOCIATED
W
ITH
P
HYSICAL
C
HARACTERISTICS
...........................102
 
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KOF2009

greattttttttttttttt

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