Speak With Confidence Roberto Monaco

Speak With Confidence
Table of Contents
Introduction…………………………………………………………………….….2
Chapter 1: Get R.E.A.L.: Increase the Connection with your Topic………...3
Chapter 2: Set the Right Expectations…………………………………………6
Chapter 3: Public Speaking Leading…………………………………………...8
Chapter 4: Audience Engagement Before Presenting……………………...10
Chapter 5: Stay Audience-Centered…………………………...……………..12
Chapter 6: Break Make the Rules……………………………...……………..14
Chapter 7: Tap into your Confidence…………………………………………17
Chapter 8: Emotional Reframing………………………………………………19
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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED | INFLUENCEOLOGY, LLC 2017
Introduction
In this book, you’re going to discover how to transform the fear, anxiety, doubt,
and nervousness you have of public speaking into unstoppable confidence.
Regardless of whether you’re speaking in front of one person or ten thousand
people, it won’t matter. With an intimate connection to your topic and a
realistic expectation of yourself, your content, and your audience, you will feel
confident and capable of leading groups of any size in any setting. We will
also dissect the psychology behind public speaking and break down the
barriers that cause people to hide behind fears of rejection, uncertainty, and
fear. Your confidence will be unearthed and you will learn how to refocus on
your ultimate target: Getting your audience from point A to point B.
My vast experience in the areas of peak performance, leadership, the

psychology of achievement, presentation skills and sales comes from years of
consulting and advising Fortune 500 companies, executives, managers, and
sales professionals. With my business partner, Jeff Paro, InfluenceOlogy was
founded in 2008 with the mission to teach people how to make a positive
impact in their business and personal lives by becoming MASTERS OF
INFLUENCE. We believe that the tools we provide allow our clients to take
control of their destiny. Why? Because influence is power. By influencing
others and challenging yourself to the mindset shifts we offer through our
teachings, you will find that your destiny is determined solely by YOU. Read
on to create the destiny of your dreams through effective communication, an
unshakeable mindset, and foolproof presentation techniques.
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Chapter 1: Get R.E.A.L.: Increase the Connection with your Topic
What I've found is that the best speakers, communicators, and influencers
have a strong emotional connection to their message. On the other hand,
people who experience fear or uncertainty do not. How do you increase your
emotional connection to your message? You get R.E.A.L.
R - Reasons
What are your reasons for speaking? What are your reasons for presenting,
driving somewhere, doing a webinar, or recording a video? What I've found is
that the more attached you are to your reasons and the stronger your
purpose, the more positive energy you’ll possess. You’ll leave no room for the
negative energy brought on by fear, uncertainty, or doubt. Let's say we have
two presenters, A and B. Presenter A has one reason. Presenter B has the
same reason plus fifty more. Who do you think has more influence, charisma,
power, and certainty? Presenter B.
Personally, one of our reasons for doing what we do at InfluenceOlogy is that

the skills we teach are a matter of life or death. Are you thinking, “Roberto,
what do you mean, life or death?” We have an abundance of people in our
society like chiropractors, dentists, loan officers, real estate agents, lawyers,
speakers, and coaches that want and need to be communicating their
message at a higher level. However, they allow fear to stop them and they
don’t know the skills to overcome what is getting in the way of their message.
Because they're not communicating, people are making the wrong decisions,
dissatisfied with their lives, or even dying.
Our job is to transform people into master presenters. Once they effectively
communicate their message, they’ll impact our society in a positive manner.
We have a bigger purpose, a bigger reason. When we communicate, we leave
no room for fear because we are so passionate about our purpose. The same
should apply to you. Whatever your reasons are for speaking, make sure you
have a strong personal connection to them. The positive energy fueled by
your purpose will crowd out any lingering fear.
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E – Experiences
What are your personal experiences with the topic? Do you have any?
Instead of talking about something you can’t relate to, talk about something
based on your own experience. Use your own stories to have an emotional
connection to your message. Don’t be a wannabe guru, see a hot topic, and
talk about that. Don’t copy someone else's content because you’ll be viewed
as inconsistent and uncertain.
Don't be that guy. Don't be that girl. Ask yourself what your personal
experiences are with the topic. If you have an original presentation with an
original topic, apply that information to your own life. Generate those personal
experiences for yourself. You live, you make mistakes, you learn lessons.
Then - only then – you’ll be able to communicate from that angle.
A – Actionable
Is your message or topic actionable? In other words, can the audience take
action at the end of your talk? This is extremely important. Why? Because
instead of focusing on fear, uncertainty, or doubt, you need to focus on the
next step. You know in your heart that when your audience takes action
they're going to improve their lives.
A gentleman, Ted, called me and said, “Roberto, I am developing a talk about

stress reduction. My talk is tomorrow. What do I do?” He was anxious and
scared. I asked him about his call to action, his offer, and the audience’s next
step. By focusing on the next step, he was able to remind himself of the
reasons why he was speaking on stress reduction in the first place. His
mission to create a healthier future reminded him of the importance of his
message. When he realized the audience’s urgent need to improve their lives
and his role in making that a reality for them, fear and anxiety took a backseat
to the real driving force of his purpose: Action. Is your message actionable?
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L – Love
How much do you love your topic? How much do you love to talk about,
research, and interview people about your topic? Personally, I love to talk
about public speaking, influence, communication skills, storytelling,
leadership, marketing, and mindset. But, there are some topics that I am not
very passionate about.
Let’s say you work for a company and need to do a presentation about a
database management system. What if you’re not very passionate about it?
You can be an expert on a subject, but not passionate about it. However, you
can still draw on your passion to present a topic, no matter how dull it may
seem.
Here's the secret. Ready?
Ask yourself what you are passionate about. For example, I'm passionate
about going to the beach, watching UFC, reading, eating out, and having fun.
Next, draw a parallel: How is running a database effectively just like going to
the beach? As you’re delivering your message about the system, throw in a
few examples that expand on the beach metaphor. Even though you may not
be passionate about the system, you are passionate about something else.
Bring in analogies so your message is still fun. There's always a way. Lastly,
draw on your passion for helping people. Focus on your clients and their
stories. Give examples that help your audience understand your message in
the clearest, most entertaining way possible. Ultimately I’m here to help
people. Aren’t you?
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Chapter 2: Set the Right Expectations
There are three kinds of expectations to set right from the start.
Self-Expectation
What I've found is that people who experience fear while speaking set
unrealistic expectations for themselves. They want to be perfect.
Hello? Do you know anybody like that? Perfect? Nobody's perfect and there's
no such thing as a perfect presentation. With this expectation, the goal or
outcome will never be achieved. You’ll always stress about an outcome that is
impossible. Why? I don't care how good anyone is, they will never, ever be
perfect. Skilled influencers always want to get better. They want to improve
and be the best. They are always taking it to the next level. But, if you watch
them present, sometimes they’ll make a mistake. They’ll brush it off because
they don't care; they know perfection doesn’t exist.
However, you should always have high standards. Always up your game and
strive to become better and better. But there's no such thing as "the perfect
presenter" or "the perfect talk." There are amazing talks and awesome talks. If
you want to be the perfect presenter or deliver the perfect presentation, guess
what? You’re going to be struggling for a long time.
2.) Content Expectation
If you stress out about your content, you’ll keep going deeper and deeper,
more technical and more technical. The content may be good, but it’ll get lost
and the audience won’t be able to relate to it anymore. The audience doesn’t
need or want to know everything. They want the shortcut; the "expert” to give
them what they need to know. This is why they are listening to you in the first
place. They want a solution.
A true influencer provides just enough information to move the audience to

action. Deliver content that the audience doesn't know, or deliver a message
the audience may already know, but present it in such a way that they’ll be
inspired to act. By communicating powerfully and clearly understanding the
content you expect to present, you’ll move the audience to action. Be concise.
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3.) Audience Expectation
How do you believe the audience will receive you, as the presenter? Stress
and anxiety may be caused by assuming the audience expects you to be
perfect, which we’ve already established is impossible. We know perfection
doesn't exist. Instead of fearing that an audience is judging you or your
information, know that no one is perfect, nor is anyone expecting perfection.
Here is what your audience expects: They want to get something out of your
information. They want to be moved. They want value and ideas they can
implement to improve their life. They also want you to be authentic, prepared,
and respectful of their time. That's it. They don't expect perfection, they expect
real, raw value.
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Chapter 3: Public Speaking Leading
“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves
up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.”' -Winston Churchill
We will start this chapter with an exercise. Ask yourself these five
questions:
Who is a great business leader that you admire and trust?
Who is a great spiritual leader that you admire and trust?
Who is a great political leader that you admire and trust?
Who is a great community leader that you admire and trust?
Who is a great leader in your industry that you admire and trust?
Now that you have those five names in your mind, ask yourself if those
leaders communicate their message to groups of people live, on radio, video,
podcast, or live TV. I would assume so. What is the common theme? Think
about it. What is this truth that we’ve stumbled upon? It can change your life. I
know because it changed mine.
Here it is: All leaders speak to groups of people. All of them. At InfluenceOlogy
we work with over 30 industries, and the leaders holding the top positions in
these industries are communicating their message to groups of people.
Lawyers, financial planners, chiropractors, coaches, realtors, loan officers,
insurance professionals, CEO's - they're all communicating their message to
groups of people through public speaking.
One of the reasons why these leaders speak with confidence is because they
don't view themselves as “public speaking.” They see every speaking
opportunity as a leadership opportunity, as an opportunity to lead the
audience.
A good question to ask yourself is this: Are you a leader in your industry or
field? Are you leading a team, clients, or an organization right now? Are you a
community leader? Then know this: It’s not about public speaking. It's about
public leading. It's about becoming the leader in a marketplace and
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communicating your message at the highest possible level to influence people

and improve their lives. It's very simple. Ultimately, it’s all about leadership.
Leadership is not hiding behind Facebook, social media outlets, or a desk. As

part of our InfluenceOlogy community, you know that leadership is about
stepping up and communicating your message powerfully and with certainty to
create an impact.
Let me give you an example. Let's say a huge fire breaks out in your building.
People panic. You are the only person who knows the emergency escape
route. What are you going to do? Are you going to leave the building and allow
everyone else to die? Or are you going to be a leader and lead the people to
safety? You would step up, right?
As you would in this example, leaders speak with confidence because they
know they have a solution. People who speak with fear and uncertainty feel
they have to speak, while leaders want to speak. Their drive and desire to
speak makes for confident, certain, and passionate messages. “I know the
way out! Let’s go, let’s go, LET’S GO!” You don't have to speak, you want to.
You are a leader.
So why do you want to speak? You know people are struggling. People are
drowning in their finances, sabotaging their health, and being overthrown by
their emotions. Of course, you want to communicate. You want to help them!
As a leader, you must have a transformational message that helps people
achieve, accomplish, and witness results in a bigger, better, and faster way
than they are currently experiencing. Leaders believe that their message is
bigger than they are. Their ego doesn’t get in the way of that truth.
At InfluenceOlogy we teach public speaking, communication skills, influence,

and storytelling. But these skills are not new. They’ve been around for 2,500
years. Quite literally, these skills are bigger (and older!) than we are as a
company. And these skills are critical. We became an advocate in the
marketplace to help you communicate to more people more effectively and
produce bigger, better, faster results. Don’t just speak. Lead.
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Chapter 4: Audience Engagement Before Presenting
It is always wise to know your audience when you develop your presentation.
You may interview some people from the organization you're speaking to, or
send out surveys to the audience before you outline your presentation.
However, in this chapter, I’ll be discussing audience engagement half an hour

to an hour before you start speaking. This engagement will most likely be
done on a one-on-one or small-group basis as audience members are arriving
and socializing. Doing this will allow you to develop a rapport with some of the
audience members, so when you start speaking you already feel like you
know them. Once you feel like you already know the audience and they’ve
gotten to know you, your feelings of anxiety or fear will dramatically decrease.
It won’t be a big deal anymore.
By asking the right questions before your presentation, you may get some
insight into what to say or what not to say. You’ll always learn something, and
you can customize the presentation before you go on stage. You can add a
story. You can remove a story. You can add a quote, add an example, or
remove an example. I love to engage people before I present because I
always get some insight into the way the audience thinks and feels.
When you ask the right questions before you speak, you may gain some
supporters or social approval. For example, before I did a presentation on
video marketing, I learned that a successful and well-known video marketer
was in the audience. With his permission, I used his story, mentioned his
name, and immediately added credibility to my presentation. With that, I
attained instant social approval from the rest of the audience.
Now, I want to give you some of the questions I ask the audience before I
speak. First and foremost, build up the rapport with your audience. Connect
with them. Talk about their work, family, hometown, business, or hobbies. Find
some common ground.
Once you’ve established a connection, ask them these three questions:
1.) If you could discover one major idea or strategy that will dramatically
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impact your business or your life, what would that be?
2.) What has been your experience with [insert topic here] so far?
3.) What has been a barrier that is preventing you from [insert goal here]?
With the first question, you are seeking his or her goals. You’ll gain this
information and ensure your presentation is relevant and your offer will meet
their needs. With question number two, you will learn the audience's attitude
toward your topic. Someone may know nothing about it. Another may be
skeptical about it. And still, another may love it, use it, recommend it, and be
wanting to learn more. Some people in my audience are fired up. They say,
"Roberto, I'm doing it, I'm crushing it, I love it, I came here to learn more." If
that's the case, ask them to tell you more. Remember that by connecting with
the audience you may find some success stories to use in your presentation to
make it more powerful. The third question is intended to weed out any
objections or beliefs that the audience may have. Knowing this information will
provide you with the opportunity to break barriers and debunk beliefs about
your topic or offer.
Once you’ve asked these three questions to as many individual audience

members as you can before you present, you’ll have a better understanding of
your audience’s goals, attitudes, and barriers. With this intelligence, you can
customize your presentation and tailor your offer to meet your audience’s
needs. Your confidence will improve, your message will be even more
relevant, and you will unleash your message with influence, power, and
charisma. You’ll be better prepared to serve the people at the highest level.
Now, do it, do it, do it. Ask the three questions before your next presentation
and watch how your presentation and your results improve.
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Chapter 5: Stay Audience-Centered
This idea helped me when I was starting my speaking career: In the context of
business, every time you present, you're always moving the audience from
Point A to Point B. Regardless of whether the audience is made of one person
or a thousand people, your goal is the same. For example, loan officers move
their customers from needing a loan, point A, to having a loan, point B. If you
are looking for a house, a realtor will help you get from point A, needing a
house, to point B, owning a house. Or vice versa, owning a house, A, to
selling it, B. Chiropractors help people who are unhealthy get to point B, a life
of wellness and overall health.
Remember this: Every single time you're presenting in a business

setting, it's always about solving a problem. It's always about moving
the audience from Point A to Point B.
Speakers who allow fear, uncertainty, nervousness, and anxiety to creep into
their awareness are focusing on themselves and their experience rather than
the audience. And whenever you focus on an experience, it becomes real.
"How do I look? How do I sound? Am I going to be judged? Am I going to be

rejected? Am I going to forget the content? Are they going to like me? Are
they going to like my stories? Are they going to enjoy my content?" It becomes
all about me, me, me, and by focusing on yourself, you become absorbed in
your own experience and forget about the audience and their whole reason for
seeing you: Solutions. Movement from point A to point B. Results. When you
divert your attention from this fact, F.U.N.A. (Fear, Uncertainty, Nervousness,
and Anxiety) comes to life and you freeze.
I have found that the best communicators, speakers, and influencers don't
give life to F.U.N.A. They simply do not give it room in their reality. When they
are preparing their talk and organizing their content, structure, stories, facts,
and questions, it is always 100% about moving the audience from point A to
point B. They want to solve a problem and facilitate that transition from point A
to point B with their product or service. They know the conversation is not
about them. Even though they may be the face, the presenter that is moving
and inspiring the audience to action, the conversation is never about them.
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If you think about it, if the presentation is about moving people from point A to
point B and isn’t about you as the presenter, why would you be afraid? Why
would you allow F.U.N.A. to creep into your mind if it's about the audience?
Why? It's crazy! Think about it. Imagine if you watched a presentation that was
all about the presenter. You would wonder why you were there and when you
were going to be provided with a purpose or solution.
If you believe in the power of communication and public speaking to leverage

your business and you're not doing it consistently, you may be experiencing
some type of fear, uncertainty, nervousness or anxiety. You are not alone. But
now that you know the cause, think about it and recognize that there is no
room for those thoughts if your focus is on your audience.
Hone in on your audience and remove yourself from the equation. When you
remove yourself, you won’t experience fear anymore. You won't experience
uncertainty anymore. You won't experience doubt, anxiety, or nervousness.
Instead, that space will be filled with certainty, confidence, passion, and
purpose.
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Chapter 6: Break Make the Rules
In this chapter, I will be discussing the fear of rejection. In my experience, this

fear comes in two forms. The first is when the speaker is conscious of the
fear. The second is when the speaker is not aware of their fear of rejection,
even though it subconsciously causes them to adopt limiting behaviors. This
was my case.
A long time ago, when I started my career as a professional speaker, my job

was to present and sell seminar tickets. One of my first presentations was for
a real estate office in Newport Beach, California. I presented for 40-45 agents,
spoke for 45 minutes, and ended my presentation by passing out event
registration forms. No one registered. I looked at the audience and they
silently stared back. "That's weird," I thought. Rejected and frustrated, I
watched as the crowd thinned and my registration forms lay, untouched, on
empty chairs. I didn't understand. I was angry. It wasn’t fun.
That was the first time I felt true rejection but it wasn’t the last. It actually
happened a couple more times until I eventually overcame the fear of
rejection. But during that time, if you would’ve asked me, "Roberto, did you
experience fear of rejection?" I would have said, "No, it’s not a problem for
me." I was presenting regularly, and it wasn’t until later that I realized that my
fears, especially of rejection, were causing me to adopt limiting behaviors in
my career as an influencer.
Specifically, I adopted three behaviors. Number one, I lowered my

expectations. To avoid disappointment or failure, I rationalized with myself.
"Well, it's not like everybody is going to sign-up for this thing anyway."
Unconsciously, I was already setting myself up for the possibility of failure.
Without high expectations in the first place, I protected myself from the
rejection that I feared. The second limiting behavior that I unconsciously
adopted was that I didn't prepare as much. I wasn't working on myself or my
work as much as I should have been. I realize now that I was scared to spend
the time rehearsing and improving because rejection would waste my efforts.
The third thing that I noticed was that I was never 100% fully committed to my
clients. I was maybe 90-95% committed, at best. “No” hurt so much more
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when I was all-in and emotionally invested in my clients and their results, so I
avoided 100% at all costs.
These were the three unconscious behaviors that I adopted to protect myself
from rejection. But it was because of these behaviors that I ended up being
rejected even more. At the time, I couldn’t connect the dots.
Finally, I realized that I needed to change. I started comparing my results with

other peoples. I noticed their confidence and how they seemed incapable of
discouragement and defeat. People may have been rejecting them, but they
didn’t show any weakness. I experienced a huge breakthrough when I started
studying my fear of rejection and questioning it.
I learned that there are two basic parts to rejection. When I present an idea,
service, or product, someone says “no” (part one), then I feel a certain way
(part two). In this case, I was feeling rejected. I realized that I can't control
what a client is going to say, but I can control how I feel about their answer.
I started questioning what made me feel rejected. Did I allow myself to feel
rejected if someone didn’t buy from me? I figured that couldn’t be true
because I'd been happy after presentations where there were ten people and I
had signed up nine. Even though I had been rejected, I didn’t feel that way. I
was happy nine people said yes.
So, what must happen for me to feel rejected? Could it be when people don't
understand or agree with my ideas? That's not true either because I’ve always
been happy with my audience’s response; even if it meant they ultimately
disagreed. I realized I was living by rules I had unconsciously made that were
allowing me to feel rejected. When I broke down why I was feeling this way, I
realized that these rules had no foundation.
With that breakthrough came another conclusion: If I created the rules that
unconsciously caused me to feel rejected, why not create new rules with the
opposite effect? When I presented my offer, product, or service, I never
wanted to feel rejected again. This was possible for me, and is possible for
you, too. Why? Because you make the rules. You decide whether you are
going to allow yourself to feel rejected or not. So, can you create a different
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attitude towards rejection, a different rule? Yes. Break your old rules and
make new ones.
I came up with a crazy rule that was going to be impossible to break. Here it
is: I only feel rejected when eight billion people say no to me, at the same
time. Then, and only then, I will allow myself to feel rejected. I know it's crazy,
but that's my rule. Hey, we all have the power to create our own rules, crazy or
not, right? Now, if I speak to 40 people and 10 say yes, I don’t allow myself to
feel rejected or disempowered. When eight billion people, at the same time,
look at me and say "Roberto, no," then yes, I’ll let myself feel rejected.
Now, this doesn't mean that I don’t learn from my presentations that aren’t as
successful as I’d like them to be. It doesn't mean that I'm not going to improve
my closing ratio. In fact, making my own rule for rejection helped me improve
on a personal level and advance my career. We should always be striving to
become better communicators and presenters, and tough presentations are
the ones that’ll teach us the most about where we can improve. But feeling
rejected and lowering our standards, working on ourselves less, and holding
back our 100% is counterproductive to improvement. Believe in change and
change the rules.
So what has to happen for you to feel rejected? What is your new rule so that
you never, ever feel rejected again?
Change your self-imposed rules and watch your fears and doubts
transform into power and confidence.
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Chapter 7: Tap into your Confidence
Many InfluenceOlogy clients have mastered their subject but lose their
confidence when they speak to a group of people. A long time ago I was
listening to an audio book by Richard Bandler, one of the founders of NLP,
Neuro-linguistic Programming, and he told a powerful story. One of his
patients had approached him and said, "Richard, I lost my certainty. I am
uncertain." His response was, "How certain are you about your uncertainty?"
Inspired by Richard’s response to his client, I like to challenge people’s

thoughts about confidence. If you believe that you don’t have confidence when
you speak in front of a group, how confident are you of that belief? Are you
100% confident that you are not confident when you present? If so, then there
is clearly some confidence there.
Surprise! You are already a confident person.
If you are knowledgeable about your topic, but confidence while presenting
just doesn't seem to be in your skill-set, you simply aren't tapping into it. You
didn't lose it. It isn't gone. It's not like you just lost your confidence or left it on
the beach or at Wal-Mart. No, it's still there; you're just not tapping into it
because confidence and certainty are context-dependent.
Now, if you're a mom, how confident are you that you love your kids? 100%. If
you're a dad, how confident are you that you love your kids? 100%. How
confident are you that you're a good person? I hope 100%. How confident are
you that you love to help people? 100%. So, you're confident about the things
that matter 100% and you're just not tapping into it in the context of speaking.
Ask yourself, what is the process you go through in your mind and body to
generate confidence? How confident are you when you play your favorite
sport or that card game you always seem to win? You walk on the field,
shuffle that deck, smirk, and you just know. You are confident. You are
certain. You are unstoppable.
To have the same mentality for public speaking, you must put yourself in that
state of 100% certainty and confidence when you present. Don't ever say that
you don’t have confidence, because you already have the confidence within
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you. You just have to access it. How? Remember a time when you felt every
single cell in your body buzz with confident certainty. It doesn’t matter what
context you felt that confidence, what matters is that you felt it. Practice
accessing that emotional state, and access it before you speak.
Obviously, confidence doesn’t replace skill and expertise in the presentation’s

topic. Confidence will take you to another level of success, but it must be
matched with a skill to fully deliver to your audience.
Some of the people we mentor are already experts in their field, so when we
teach them how to uncover their confidence and understand the psychology
behind it, their message is persuasive. When you exude confidence in
yourself, your message, and your audience, they’ll be confident in you.
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Chapter 8: Emotional Reframing
Emotional reframing is the ability to change the meaning of your emotions.
Some people are terrified of public speaking while others feel excited to get on
stage. Wherever you are emotionally, understand that your body, more
specifically your brain, is dying to protect and help you. This need is ingrained
into our very nature and has enabled us to survive. Imagine your caveman
ancestor walking alone, suddenly realizing that he’s being tracked by a wild,
hungry animal. Based upon the situation, he had to make a choice. Were
there others around to help? Was there a place to hide? Was he carrying any
weapons? What would he do? Escape?
What about when you are speaking? Are you alone up there with no place to
hide, no weapons, with strange creatures staring at you? When you're looking
into an audience, does your brain scream, "Danger! Danger! Escape!" I'm
having fun here, but that's the idea. If your emotions deter you from speaking
to groups of people, it very well could be a natural, instinctual response.
Since 2008, we have been training people how to grow their businesses using
the art and science of well-crafted presentations and public speaking. What
I've found is that some of our clients have massive breakthroughs when they
become aware of these feelings and actively change their meanings. If you
have a presentation and your heart's pounding, your stomach is full of
butterflies, and your hands are sweating, what does that mean?
This energy, this emotional and physiological response, what does it mean? If
you ask yourself this question, what answers do you come up with?
“I'm not that good.”
“I'm going to be judged.”
“I'm going to screw up.”
“I'm going to forget my talk.”
“I’m nervous, anxious, and scared.”
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What else could this mean? What else could these feelings and sensations
mean to you? Can you find a positive and empowering meaning so you can
show up at the presentation and rock the house?
“This presentation is going to be a game-changer for me and my business.”
“This is outside my comfort zone, but I’m going to crush it.”
“This nervousness is due to the massive impact this information will have on
the audience. I hope they can handle it.”
“This is a new experience for me. My purpose has brought me here to change
lives.”
Then, when you’ve reframed your emotions to mean something positive and
empowering, it’s go time. Right before a presentation, when I have butterflies,
I pump myself up with my new emotions. I say, "Let me get up there. Let me
go," like a racehorse kicking and bucking, ready to go. I disrupt my body’s
emotional and physiological processes that make me feel nervous. I want the
starting gates to open, so I can fly out and do what I need to do. Why?
Because I’ve reframed my belief system and my emotions toward public
speaking. Instead of flight, I want to fight. I want to get up there and give it all
I’ve got.
It's go time. Go! You have the power to determine what your feelings
mean to you. Every time. Feel the nervousness, fear, or anxiety, stop,
and ask yourself what they mean. Keep asking until you’ve successfully
reframed the emotion into something positive and encouraging. Then
build on that energy until you present.
It's time to change lives. It’s time to show your best. It’s time to give your heart
to these people, transform them, and move them from point A to point B. Is
this the time to be the best? Yes. Right now.
Applying this technique into your routine will take a little conditioning, but once
you train your mind to reframe the emotions that don’t serve you, you will find
that it gets easier. You will feel powerful, ready, and even eager to take on a
challenge that you previously would have feared. Ready? It’s go time.
Page 20
Additional Resources
Seminars:
http://www.influencingfromthefront.com
http://publicspeakingforchiros.com
Products:
www.influenceacademy.com/
Social Media:
www.facebook.com/influenceology
www.youtube.com/influenceology
Page 21

Speak With Confidence Roberto Monaco

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Speak With Confidence Roberto Monaco

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Speak With Confidence

Chapter 1: Get R.E.A.L.: Increase the Connection with your Topic………...3

Chapter 2: Set the Right Expectations…………………………………………6

Chapter 3: Public Speaking Leading…………………………………………...8

Chapter 4: Audience Engagement Before Presenting……………………...10

Chapter 5: Stay Audience-Centered…………………………...……………..12

Chapter 6: Break Make the Rules……………………………...……………..14

Chapter 7: Tap into your Confidence…………………………………………17

Chapter 8: Emotional Reframing………………………………………………19

My vast experience in the areas of peak performance, leadership, the

Chapter 1: Get R.E.A.L.: Increase the Connection with your Topic

Personally, one of our reasons for doing what we do at InfluenceOlogy is that

A gentleman, Ted, called me and said, “Roberto, I am developing a talk about

Here's the secret. Ready?

Chapter 2: Set the Right Expectations

2.) Content Expectation

A true influencer provides just enough information to move the audience to

3.) Audience Expectation

Chapter 3: Public Speaking Leading

Who is a great business leader that you admire and trust?

Who is a great spiritual leader that you admire and trust?

Who is a great political leader that you admire and trust?

Who is a great community leader that you admire and trust?

communicating your message at the highest possible level to influence people

Leadership is not hiding behind Facebook, social media outlets, or a desk. As

At InfluenceOlogy we teach public speaking, communication skills, influence,

Chapter 4: Audience Engagement Before Presenting

However, in this chapter, I’ll be discussing audience engagement half an hour

Once you’ve established a connection, ask them these three questions:

impact your business or your life, what would that be?

Once you’ve asked these three questions to as many individual audience

Chapter 5: Stay Audience-Centered

Remember this: Every single time you're presenting in a business

"How do I look? How do I sound? Am I going to be judged? Am I going to be

If you believe in the power of communication and public speaking to leverage

Chapter 6: Break Make the Rules

In this chapter, I will be discussing the fear of rejection. In my experience, this

A long time ago, when I started my career as a professional speaker, my job

Specifically, I adopted three behaviors. Number one, I lowered my

Finally, I realized that I needed to change. I started comparing my results with

Chapter 7: Tap into your Confidence

Inspired by Richard’s response to his client, I like to challenge people’s

Surprise! You are already a confident person.

Obviously, confidence doesn’t replace skill and expertise in the presentation’s

Chapter 8: Emotional Reframing

Emotional reframing is the ability to change the meaning of your emotions.

“I'm not that good.”

“I'm going to be judged.”

“I'm going to screw up.”

“I'm going to forget my talk.”

“I’m nervous, anxious, and scared.”

“This presentation is going to be a game-changer for me and my business.”

“This is outside my comfort zone, but I’m going to crush it.”

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