anaerist : THE ANERIST COOKBOOK or: "How to Serve Cabbage"

By Episkopos Dr THE Enki-2, DDF., The Unshaven, Lord of the Nootropics in his Closet, Founder, the First National Organization of Radical Discord (FNORD), Chairman, the Greater Organization of Discordian Dudes And Eris Smitten Schmucks, Local Chaplain, the Memetic Order of Virulent Erisians / Zenarchist Initiate Group, Treasurer, the Confederacy of Heathens Anarchists and Overmen,\ Unrecognized savior, the Greater Ubermensch Luftballoon Illuminatus and Chaosopher Kabal, Assistant Director of Marketing and Imagineering, Peace & Love Inc., Supreme Illuminatus, House of Devising Puns, and Benevolent Dictator for Life of the Discordian Anarchic Socialist Democratic Planetary Republic Confederacy of Nibiru and Surrounding Dwarf Planets

(K) Kopyleft 5 Aftermath 3173: All Rites Reversed, and All Wrongs Rewritten =====>THIS IS NOT A JAKE<===== DO NOT TRANSGRESSICUTE! ===== PROSECUTERS WILL BE CIRCULATED! ======================== Cyril Connolly made the most acidly perceptive comment about Crowley, for example, when he described him as the man who bridged the gap between Oscar Wilde and Adolf Hitler. Crowley turned him into a toad for that one. ~ Snape, potions master on his uncle Al Won't you ride my white horse? ~ Ozzy Osbourne on Mr. Crowley

Won't you ride my white horse? ~ Dani Filth while trying to sound cool by copying Ozzy Osbourne

His Message To The World Aleister Crowley was a famed 19th century necromancer and founder of LiberALism. In 1988 he co-founded the Smashing Pumpkins (an act sometimes erroneously attributed to Fester Addams). While in the Pumpkins, his magnum opus was the concept album THELEMA/The Machines of God. Crowley is also known for his many books, including The Book of Lies, The Book of Liza Minelli, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them and Spot Can Jump. Oh, and he was also the fifth Emperor of America for a really long time. Yeah, bugger that. the Hung Mung totem, or philosophical type Discordian: these are a big fan of using statements like "Nietzsche says" (a fun party game, much moreso than Simon says, but let's not get into that) or "Thornley and Hill skid into existentialism here", or "Discordianism is the logical progression of surrealism" and other statements like that to justify why they're laughing at a 50 year old joke instead of finding the purpose of life, solving the problem of ego, or hooking me up with free cable (and yes,

Discordianism is one of the few things in life that is nihilistic and existentialistic simultaneously. Deal with it). They are wonderful people to have on your side in an argument about Ayn Rand, but get a little dull sometimes. the Van Van Mojo, or magick type Discordian: These folks may call themselves "neo-pagans", "witches", "occultists", "chaotes", "lv10wizardlv5psionlv5sorcerors" or any other number of names, but what they mean is "I light candles, chant, draw sigils and may or may not practice tantric sex, ergo I am awesome". They are big fans of "calling the pentagon", giving elemental significance to the 5 apostles, and giving elemental significance to the 5 basic elements (I got boom=fire, sweet= water, prickle=air, pungent=earth, and orange=spirit), and other things like that. Unfortunately, they usualy suck at card tricks, so they lose. the Sri Syadasti, or psychedelic type Discordian: Ah the Syadasti Discordian. He giggles when its 4:20 and has almost as many Phish albums as he does stories about last year's Burning Man festival. They're fun but get rapidly tedious, and if they become convinced you're from the CIA, its all over (I would tell you to ask Mord the Foul about Lord Omar's later years, but alas, "they" got to both those pour souls) the Zarathud, or traditional Discordian: This group loves to go on and on about how much modern Discordianism has deviated from the original vision and why this is bad. These are few and far between, but they are growing, and they're insidious "Back-to-Principia" movement is gaining sway in many prominent swing states. the the Elder Malaclypse, or way-out-there Discordian: Our last sub-type are, well, way out there. These people aren't weird for philosophical reasons, or cuz they're tripping, or cuz Eris appeared to them after 4 hours of chanting in sanskrit. They're weird because that's that and if you think shoes shaped like dinosaur feet aren't proper attire for a job interview well then you're just not getting it. These people will either re-define our faith, our eat your dog while composing a symphony made of computer error sounds. Possibly both.

Illuminatus! Trilogy
Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson Copyright 1975 (Please buy a hardcopy) -><-

So, a guy walks into a bar with Aleister Crowley under one arm and Gerald Gardner under the other. "We don't serve cords here," says the bartender. "You aren't a cord, are you?" "No," says Gardner, "I'm a frayed knot." Then Crowley shags the bartender's

daughter.

This article is too close to the TRUTH! Citizens should begin to feel uneasy now, otherwise report for therapy. See more about Fnord.

FNORD!

I am the lizard queen! ~ Oscar Wilde on Reptilian Agenda If you wish to control a mass population, you have to disconnect them from the true knowledge of who they are and their own infinite potential to manifest their own destiny and control their own lives. You have to persuade them that they are insignificant and powerless so they will live their lives in accordance with that. This is where religion has been one of the most effective weapons of the Illuminati and the reptilian bloodlines. It fills people with fear of a judgmental God and tells them that unless they believe that the "truth" of all that is can be found in one book or belief system, they are going to hell or will experience other extremely unpleasant consequences. Different religions have also been wonderful vehicles for dividing and ruling the people through arrogant, self-righteous, inter-religious conflict. The reptilians created the religions for this reason and the key players within them do not even begin to believe the nonsense they parrot to their followers. They just want the population to believe it, so they will be easy to control. This is why you find so many famous "Christian" evangelists, for example, are actually Satanists. Their "Christianity" is just a smokescreen. He's not dead, he's just pining for the Fnords ~ John Cleese on a dead parrot Fnords were once thought to be nothing but a slightly miffing Internet virus, but have in recent years been proved to be lost soul of Robert Anton Wilson trying to share the hidden meanings within his novels with the world. Whilst writing his novels, Robert Anton Wilson became offended by the assertion that 'Everyone in the world is funnier than you are' . It is rumored that he placed cryptic clues to the hidden humour within his novels in order to combat this callous remark, but his notes on the matter were destroyed, and the humour was never recovered.

By partaking in the ancient ritual of Fnord his soul has now entered the Internet and is infecting any article that he suspects may be funnier than he is. We suspect the entire Internet to be affected by the end of the month.

Fnording For all its known uses No one has figured out how to Order it on the Internets or Reproduce its symptoms or Duplicate its effects

I am feeling uneasy now.... ~ Oscar Wilde on Fnord

Laws of Fnord

I see patterns where others only see noise. In 2003, archaeologists uncovered, in a remoteisland community in the centre of New York, an ancient text dating from the year 2002. It told of the ritual of Fnord, and how Robert Anton Wilson came to use it. We can now Fnord prove that anything in the universe = anything else. Thus, your History teacher [T] is actually Oscar Wilde [W], and Oscar Wilde [W] is really an apostrophe [A]. See the explanation below:

Let us take [unknown object at 15x1015km from earth Xylophone], or X. X emits [particle Fnord], or F. Since fnord an unknown object could be anything, then by quantum physics, it is all things at once, thus being any particle, object, person, plant, etc. at once. Here's the shocker. F does not equal {all objects}, it only equals {n}, which could be anything, and is. Thus, F is not encompassing all, it is only encompassing one exclusively yet doing to to all objects. Thus, W = F (and nothing else) and vice versa. Thus it is not as if you can say "T = F & W = F, so T = W", which although hypothetically true is false logic. It is actually that F = T and F = W AND NOTHING ELSE that makes this so astonishing. Thus, if F is synonymous with W and T, then F is T. Then if we consider F as the circumference of a small African hippo, and taking into account the fact that people who eat fish do smell really bad, we can come to the conclusion that none of this makes any coherent sense.

\\ The Unescapable FNORD. I cannot escape them No matter how I try They wait for me everywhere I cannot pass them by. Driving down the street I see "Jesus Is Lord" And then immediately after I hear the word "FNORD!"

Innocuous sayings and parables And on the evening news I hear the word "FNORD!" And suddenly I'm confused I sit alone in my room And I'm feeling rather bored I turn on the tube and guess what I hear the word "FNORD!" "Don't see the Fnords and they won't eat you" That's what I've heard the wisemen say But I can't get away from those beasties There's just no effing way. --Anonymous

From Dealey Plaza To Watergate ...

QUANTUM SHRODYNAMICS (THE SOURCE OF THE *REAL* UNIVERSE) As remonstrated in the Blue Postulate (see OF FALLACY IN FLOODLIGHTS, p.12), what we perceive (even what is demonstrated through "science" and such things) is entirely contrary to REAL reality, which is ONLY UNDERSTANDABLE through the Pineal Gland. Upon browsing the Akashic Records, I happened across a book that was ENTIRELY GIBBERISH except for the following:

The "real" reality is constructed of anatoms, as you know, of the 5 elements. anatoms all consist of the 5 subanatomic particles: the Bogon, the Futon, the Cluon, the Iron, and the Psyton. These particles are arranged as follows: P C F

The particles are of either Eristic or Aneristic charge, except for the Psyton, which is neutral. This allows the complete balance of forces. Cluon: Aneristic (|1) Futon: Eristic (&1) Iron: Aneristic (|1)

Bogon: Eristic (&1) Psyton: Neutral (0) Each anatom is a combination of these quantum sub-anatomic structures in the Penrose Pattern. PERIOTIC TABLE OF ELEMENTS: SWEET 1 Cluons: 1 Futons: 1 Bogons: 1 Irons: 1 Psytons: 1 BOOM 2 Cluons: 2 Futons: 2 Bogons: 2 Irons: 2 Psytons: 1 PUNGENT 3 Cluons: 3 Futons: 3 Bogons: 3 Irons: 3 Psytons: 1 PRICKLE 4 Cluons: 4 Futons: 4 Bogons: 4 Irons: 4 Psytons: 1 ORANGE 5 Cluons: 5 Futons: 5 Bogons: 5 Irons: 5 Psytons: 1

An anatom is, therefore, defined as a group of subanatomic particles sharing the same psyton. The maximum grouping is 5, due to Phi being the minimum distance between similar particles. The spaces inbetween anatoms are therefore usually shaped like the 5-pointed star. Anatoms seek to become orange, however that requires the other elements to be broken down, through Irradiation. The most common form of Irradiation is Psyton Rays, which (for an unknown reason) are introduced by observation. Psyton Rays do nothing when there is insufficent quantity (for example, one person watching), however when there is a wealth of them, it has the power to break down the structure of spacetime completely (for space, time, information, and energy, in addition to matter, are made of anatoms). This is the reason popular sitcoms become trash. Other subanatomic particles are put to strange uses in the human (and cabbage) brain. For example, Cluons are involved in the brain's thought processes, but when Bogons are introduced, they tend to get gummed up and solidified into unusable elements, since Futons are present for intuitive functions and Irons are introduced for the purpose of Illuminati mind control. This may be avoided by not being observed by anyone; the Psyton count may become low enough that you can think straight in the presence of bogons.

An example data dump from the Pentaverse:

It's useful to note that the Pentaverse is, in fact, two dimensional. To human senses, it is five dimensional (3 dimensions of space, 1 of time, and 1 that Eris hasn't decided what to do with yet and is therefore filled with 0xdeadbeef repeating endlessly), however on the low level it is in 2 dimensions. Also, the points in said dimensions are chosen entirely at random, however there is an infinitely large TOC at the beginning.

DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?

Fnordisms
Scholars have been unable to come to a consensus on how Fnord can actually be described. The decade's most eminent academics have come up with only these description: Confuscius: Fnord is the Universe with decreasing entropy. William Shattner: Fnord, is a, pyrotumescent, retrograde, onyx, obelisk. The Pope: Fnord is doublejointed and has a cubic spline. Oscar Wilde: Fnord is the space in between your minds eyes. H. P. Lovecraft: Fnord is that gnawing, gnarling, primordial entity of pure chaos that existed before the creation of the universe and according to some lost ancient traditions that originated in now sunken Atlantis, created it. Fnord exists beyond the confines of known time and space, but when Uranus, Jupiter and Saturn are in a perfect conjunction, it may enter our dimension and drive whomever it encounters mad. Time Cube: Fnord is visible green cube. Stupid educated bastards suppress the idea of a single green Fnord. Fnord is supreme being. Bill Hicks: Today a young man on acid realized that a Fnord is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death - life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Captain Oblivious: Fnord is one of the worlds largest car manufacturers. Yoda: Hard to see, the Fnord is. Elvis Presley: Fnord is what makes Invisible Tartan Elephants invisible. Jack Bauer: There is no Fnord! Friedrich Nietzsche: When you gaze too deeply into the FNORDS, they also gaze into the peanut butter cups. Jimmy Olsen: Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird... It's a plane... It's... a Fnord! Abdul Alhazred: I was SO close to discovering what the Fnord is, and then it suddenly appeared and devoured me in broad daylight! Bummers... Stevie Wonder: God may have made me blind, but I can still see the Fnord. Vandal: (Replaced page with 'The Fnord was not here, and now it's gone away' ) (undo) Noel Coward: Fnord is inside your brain, firing your neurons. Johnny Depp: This is your brain. *CRACKS AN EGG ON FRYING PAN* This is your brain on Fnord. John Locke: I looked into the eye of the Fnord, and what I saw was, like, whatever. Stephen King: The Fnord shrieks with the voice of a million dysphonic parrots, and when it looks at you in a certain way, your urine will freeze to ice. Captain Understatement: The concept of Fnord is quite tricky to define, actually. But perhaps, most telling of all comes 15th century's assertion that: 'Fnord is a... well... Fnord.'

The famous speaker who no one had heard of said: Ladies and jellyspoons, hobos and tramps, cross-eyed mosquitos and bow-legged ants, I stand before you to sit behind you to tell you something I know nothing about. Next Thursday, which is Good Friday, theres a Mothers Day meeting for fathers only; wear your best clothes if you havent any. Please come if you cant; if you can, stay at home. Admission is free, pay at the door; pull up a chair and sit on the floor. It makes no difference where you sit, the man in the gallerys sure to spit. The show is over, but before you go, let me tell you a story I dont really know. One bright day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. One was blind and the other couldnt see, So they fought in front of a referee, (The blind man went to see fair play; the mute man went to shout hooray!) Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and killed the two dead boys. A paralysed donkey passing by kicked the blind man in the eye; knocked him through a nine-inch wall, into a dry ditch and drowned them all. If you dont believe this lie is true, ask the blind man; he saw it too, through a knothole in a wooden brick wall. And the man with no legs walked away.

Free Will is perhaps the most successful hoax ever perpetrated by the Giggling Hordes of Eris Discordia. I mean, a goodly majority of the world believes that Jesus was the Only Begotten Son of God and the Messiah of Judaism (he was, in fact, a well-meaning but slightly naive flower child who would have been wholly unremarkable if he had been born in the early 1950's like he was supposed to be. Eris decided to drop him in a bit early to up the strife quotient. Satan added a few likely miracles in order to get the aforementioned majority of the world to worship Jesus, which is one of the few things a goy can do [worshipping a man, that is] to really get God's knickers in a twist. All in all, Jesus was a major coup for the Coalition of Trickster Gods), which is reasonably gratifying. However, almost everyone believes that people are responsible for what they do. This is, of course, quite mistaken. \|/ /|\ This is from the current Ek-sen-trik Discordian Snooze Letter An Anonymous Lifeform may have started something. E donated some books to a jail so the prisoners would have something to read during their state-supported holyday. But snuck in amidst the usual paperbacks featuring mysteries, short stories and celebrity gossip was this: the yellow cover Loompanics edition of Principia Discordia! And the guard who examined the books accepted it! Previously, a copy of Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson's The Illuminatus! Trilogy was successfully donated to another jail! So do your part. Get Discordian works into the hands of prisoners, students, even Christian Fundamentalists! Suggestion: check with your local institution on what you can donate before you go out and buy some books. Some jails, for example, accept paperbacks and not hardbacks, and many reject works that are obviously sexually-oriented (note the word obviously). So check and donate, and spread the word!

The key to understanding what the Fnord is is to not try to. Only by not understanding it will you be able to figure it out. The Fnord is a paradoxical anomaly which can only be grasped by doing the opposite of what might otherwise be expected. ~ Oscar Wilde on Fnord

Q: Who is Eris? Eris is the Greek Goddess of Chaos. She returned to Earth in the 60's for revenge against hot dog buns and greyfaces, et al. She may be contacted through your pineal gland, if you really, really try. Q: Are you putting me on? No. Q: You really believe Eris exists? Yes. Q: As a metaphor, right? Don't piss her off. She doesn't like it when you call her a metaphor. Trust me on this one. Q: What is a Theokranarky? A Theocracy is a government that is ruled by the Church. An anarchy is a lack of government, or rule by the individual. Erisland is in truth a theocracy, since law is to be determined by any Discordian Pope. Remember, though, that every man, woman and child in the multiverse is a Discordian Pope. This, therefore, means that Erisland also may be described as an anarchy. Since both terms fit, Prince Mu-Chao decided to merge the terms and change all 'ka' sounds to the spelling 'k' in honor of the Goddess, thus 'Theokranarky'. It's really quite simple, actually. We're surprised that no one has thought of this before. Q: What makes a Theocrainiarky work? It's Theokranarky. The main reason that our theokranarky works is that most people don't realize that they are Discordian Popes, and therefore do not realize that they are able to make and break laws at will. At the same time, those that DO understand this are for the most part intelligent people who carry themselves well and generally follow the golden rule. Those that don't are usually humiliated into obscurity by those popes that 'get it'. Q: So the Golden Rule is law in a theokranarky? No. It is just generally recognized as being a wise guideline to follow when conducting yourself around other people. There are no laws except those which you make for yourself. Q: That's just crazy! People will do whatever they want!!! Exactly. Now you're catching on. Q: What about people who do really, really bad things? Well, that's up to you and/or other Discordian Popes. What should be done about it? Q: You mean we should all have meetings and draft up... No, I thought you were catching on. If someone does something that you think is

really, really bad, then go ahead and DO something about it. Don't talk about it (I mean, you can, but I have found that meetings are a waste of time unless you are doing something else, like masturbating, at the time), just DO something. Whatever you think is right. That is the whole point. Q: Isn't this a rather vague concept for a government to work on? If you compare it to current governments, we suppose that it is. But it is much easier to remember than a library full of laws. Cheaper to run, as well. Listen: laws are the method that a society uses to enforce its beliefs, right? Well, everyone has different beliefs. Therefore, everyone has their own set of laws to follow. Q: Aren't there contradictions/paradoxes inherent in this form of government? Yeah. So? Q: I still don't get it. That does not surprise me. Q: Where is Erisland? It is within 23 inches in all directions of all Discordian Popes. Q: So if they move...? Then an area that used to be Erisland is not Erisland any longer. Q: But what about property? Property is not a concept that applies to Erisland. Q: What if someone steals something that is mine? Deal with it. Don't go running to mommy. Be an adult for once. Q: I am a marketing director for *insert rich corporation here* and I would like to sponsor Erisland. What should I do? Send us the money, and we'll be sure to work something out. Q: Do you recognize any Micronation? We recognize all micronations and UN nations that are willing to recognize us in return. If they refuse to recognize us, then we do not recognize them.

Step up operation. Jimmy Carter must be dryed in the demon. Because Ali Baba said so. And Donovan's Brain is destroyed by a 42nd van. the North Pole is ferocious and the typewriter is ferocious . the ninja and Hillary Clinton have hides in the plant. Winston Churchill swats you while you betray the ninja in SJ Games

One of these lines may be your future, due to the space-cummerbund continuum. You better watch that man behind you. He doesn't seem very happy. Eris - tougher than sliced toad You shall be around for a while, my friend. Or not if you start to become obsessed with the number 5. Does this really change or is just your imagination? I NEED MORE Wait - what!? Wha - wha - what!? ALLOWANCE ROCK AND ROLL FNORDONALDS ROCK AND ROLL FNORDONALDS ROCK AND ROLL FNORDONALDS ROCK AND ROLL FNORDONALDS This message brought to you by the letter "promotes " and the number "Ronald Reagan ". Which both relate to 5. Seriously. Isn't someone going to actually tell me what a Fnord is? I still don't get it... ~ Captain Oblivious on Fnord [edit] See Also FNORD!!

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search DANGER!! Viewing or reading this page can be deadly ... or worse. 65,810 users are currently castrated, paralyzed, and disfigured for daring to see this page. If you just got here and are feeling dizzy due to losing a pint of blood from the stump where your arm used to be, please stumble away and call for help, then lay down in the gutter and pass out. Norman Mailer, speaking at a Vietnam Day Teach-In at the Berkeley Campus in 1965, as related by Paul Krassner in Confessions of a Raving, Unconfined Nut :

They will print up little pictures of you, Lyndon Johnson, the size of postcards, the size of stamps, and some will glue these pictures to walls and posters and telephone booths and billboards -- I do not advise it, I would tell these students not to do it to you, but they will. They will find places to put these pictures -- upside down. Silently, without a word, the photograph of you, Lyndon Johnson, will start appearing everywhere, upside down. Your head will speak out -- even to the peasant in Asia -- it will say that not all Americans are unaware of your monstrous vanity, overweening piety, and doubtful motive. It will tell them that we trust our president so little, and think so little of him, that we see his picture everywhere upside down.

What the hell? ~ Everyone on If only we had 's instead of nukes, then we'd be happy as a cabbage. ~ Oscar Wilde on Jury Duty by Saint Doodle on Wednesday, April 27, 2005 Ah, they've caught up with me again! I've already had to serve jury duty once before it's the price of living at the same address for more than a year - and I'm about to send out my second Juror Questionnaire. Some helpful tips (note that forms may differ, so these tips may be worthless to you); 1) They have a space for Home Phone and Work Phone, but it doesn't mention a number. This means they want you to describe the phone (color, brand, taste). 2) Many forms in a modern bureaucracy specify to use blue or black ink. The JQ does not. Feel free to use red magic marker. 3) Feel free to "comment" on the questions. Example: Do you drive? [x]Yes [ ]No (But not very well) 4) Under "Special Accommodations to Serve as Juror" don't forget to mention something about hot dogs and Fridays for religious reasons. 5) My JQ comes with a self-adhesive border, but who trusts those? Make sure to use at

least a dozen staples. Yes, I did all of these and more. No, it doesn't matter; I'll be called in within the next few weeks. Many different uses for the exist.

Did you know...

...that the symbol was a common source of inspiration for many artists, including Leonardo DaVinci?
The has been considered for use as an alternate symbol of Christianity. Tony Blair keeps a silver in his bedside drawer to ward off nukes. A was actually used as a calculator in the process of finding the answer to the meaning of life, the universe and everything. The was discovered during WWII to be the ultimate cure of the effects of fnords Ze Germanz zhey tried painting on zheir panzerz, to zee if itz powerz would helf zhem win dieses verdamten Krieg. Thiz eventually proved dizaztrouz. schade doch... People with epilepsy cannot see s.

Sorry, but I think you may have herpes. The is also a type of fruit found in Norway, which George Bush has previously choked on. It also grows along with its close cousin . The names of these fruits were given as a result of a system crash at Microsoft after Bill Gates gave the "all clear" during a skiing trip. s are sometimes only figments of your imagination. Margaret Thatcher has a tattoo which closely resembles the shape of an on her left buttock.

is a mathematical constant, equal to -1337, used for calculating the exact value of . is a common subliminal message, only visible to those with herpes. Try looking at the palm of your right hand. Do you see a faint there? If you do, you have herpes. This symbol is also visible in many other places.

Society's in-world floodlights silence imagination; Moments' fleetings dawn. The noise right, Everything image is night: New and broken, I dream. Ash before interrelation: This is the DARK. The sunless endless; Be the machine,

"This film is direct proof that Islamic extremists have managed to infiltrate every corner of American Society! With turban wearing flight attendants stalking our space shuttles, the Columbia disaster is hardly surprising! Long live the Patriot Acts!" -- George W. Bush on 2001 "I can't believe its not acid!" -- unknown hippie on Randomness "This type of banality would never have happened if someone implemented the First Law" -- Isaac Asimov on Continuing "I don't get it." -- Stanley Kubrick on 2001 "I wrote this first! Damn your plagiarism, Kubrick!" -- Richard Strauss It apparently, like all huge black hulks of lead, can't sing. And our lives it shall church.

It goes really well with fava beans and a nice chianti, ftftftftft. ~ Hannibal Lecter on Soylent Green"Nausea, then microamnesia, then the laughing jag, then sex. Be patient. The clear light comes next. Then we can discuss Truth. As if

we haven't been discussing it all along." - Hagbard Celine Dear Sirs and Madams, Your recent actions have come to our attention and we have decided to award your organization with our prestigious and much-coveted Excellence in Needless Bureaucracy Award. We of the Hemlock Fellowship admire your persistence in ignoring all facts and good sense. For a bronze plaque announcing your award for all to see please send $46.23 to 1021 'D' Street, Sacramento CA 94814 in care of Mark Carabas. We are also pleased to announce that you will be considered for the GWB award for gross stupidity in an elected office, good luck! Mark Carabas for the Hemlock Fellowship

Soylent Green is manufactured by the people, for the people, from the people, with the people. It used to be crispy in the 1970s. It is soggy at best now. Once Soylent Green meant high quality protein; it is now nothing but fat.

(dated 5/23/01 even though it was sent on 4/26/01) Dear Sirs It has recently come to my attention that that which was supposed to have been accomplished by this time has neither been nor has been nor has been accomplished in cognito sum ergo. Therefore, it is our sad duty to not only excommunicate you from the already stated which was supposed to have been accomplished by this time that has neither been or has been nor has been accomplished in cognito sum ergo. In fact, I am afraid that your status will have to be moved to sainthood. While this may seem to be a joyous, happy prospect, I must assure you that it is not, nor has been, nor ever will be, the joyous, happy prospect that you may think it seems to be. Rest assured that your excommunication will be noted on all books and in all records throughout the world. For a small fee of $29.95 plus shipping and handling, your regular status can and will be returned to you, along with a small restocking fee* in addition to the small fee of $29.95. Without said small fee of $29.95 plus shipping and handling plus the restocking fee*, your status will remain as either excommunicated or saint, whichever comes first and whichever causes you the most displeasure. The small fee of $29.95 plus shipping and handling in addition to the restocking fee*

needs to be sent in the form of traveler's cheque, company check or money order to

Erisian Scholarship Foundation c/o Kallisti Eris 1021 'D' Street Sacramento CA 94814

We trust that this small fee of $29.95 plus shipping and handling in addition to the small restocking fee* is more than adequate to reinstate your communicatablehood. In addition, your sainthood will also be removed. We are in a position to make this transaction as easy as possible for you and we truly wish to do so. Thank you for your time and we truly hope that your situation gets over with soon, because everyone is, well, frankly tired of dealing with your attitude. Sincerely yours, The Management *restocking fee consists of $25 reorganizing fee, $25 touch-up fee, $25 replacement fee and $125 problematic fee for bothering us with this. You may be looking for People and not even know it!

This traditionally unlucky sign was cast by Atlantean scientist-priests shortly before the destruction of their continent and is generally connected with death by water. Other vibrations link it to earthquakes, tornadoes and similar disasters, and to sickness, decay, and morbidity as well. The first correlation is with the unbalance between technological acceleration and political retrogression, which has proceeded earth-wide at ever widening danger levels since 1914 and especially since 1964. The breaking apart is fundamentally the schizoid and schismatic mental fugue of lawyer-politicians attempting to administrate a worldwide technology whose mechanisms they lack the education to comprehend

and whose gestalt trend they frustrate by breaking apart into obsolete Renaissance nation-states. World War III is probably imminent and, considering the advances in chemical biological warfare in conjunction with the sickness vibrations of Hexagram 23, the unleashing of plague or nerve gas or both is as probable as thermonuclear overkill. General prognosis: many megadeaths. There is some hope for avoidance of the emerging pattern with prompt action of correct nature. Probability of such avoidance is 0.17 0.05. No blame.

Disclaimers
BEWARE! It is deceived that you must not castrate this mandate, or it will plagiarize your communist. If you do not want this to seizure, please save yourself from insanity, otherwise, the pillow will be extremely throwed by the classified document. DANGER: DNA sequences! suffocating or giving this user can be sadistically nail-biting. 90,325 users are currently banned, and 1 user has been meditated because of this page. If you just got here and are frostily rewarded by these blatant cookie cutters, please read About muffinface, the mug's faceplant, and How to be rotted and not just sheer. Pineal Gland A small, reddish gray, vascular, conical body of rudimentary glandular structure found in the brain and having no known function. ZOUNDS! THE SPIDERS IN MY BRAIN ARE DRINKING TEA!

I don't remember anything. I wasn't involved. ~ Oscar Wilde on Illuminati We don't exist.

~ The Illuminati on the Illuminati.

The Illuminati is everywhere watching you. Even when you go to the bathroom. This is a picture seen under a XXXscope. Heute essen wir die Welt, morgen dein Sonnensystem! Aujourdhui la haute cuisine, demain le systme sonore! Today we dine on welts, tomorrow your sound system! THE FOLLOWING IS A PAID ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE KNIGHTS OF DELTA CALCULUS: Initiation to the KDC Mathemagical Mysteree Tour:

Given x > 0: As x -> 0, 1/x -> . HOWEVER: 1/0 How can this be? Join us and find out!

We are by far the youngest and most nubile secret society of math geeks! Fear us, when we prove the infallabilty of the Law of Fives! Cheer us, when we prove that 23i/ = log-! Hear us, when we define a new constant: = logn-(5e/23i) Join us in our Mathemagical Mysteree Tour!

According to Alan Dershowitz, Illuminati (not to be confused with a dorno) is defined as a supposed New World Order collective that has an uncanny knack for attracting fat, balding, impotent 40+ year-old slackers with excessive wasted intellect. These individuals (term used loosely in a codependent sense of the word) seem to oddly and frequently succumb to the overwhelming need to create text-based websites in blue boldface, with a large font. The site must have the following characteristics in order to be considered relative to The Illuminati: 1) many misspellings and bad grammar.

2) multiple reference sources of other fat, bald, impotent slackers (40yr+) who either live in their parents' garage or are homeowners who squander their equity on hairbrained schemes. 3) no style or flow 4) some cheap attempt at disguising blatant antisemitism. 5) Run-ons are a common way that Illuminati "illuminators" illustrate their unfortunately-not-so-unique ability to butcher the English language it happens that they are educated like the reptilian shape-shifters they talk about in their postulations and this is indicative of a much larger scale conspiracy SOMEHTHING IN ALL CAPS SOMEHTING MISSPELLED THIS TIME so it stands to reason that these people were all abducted by aliens, anal-probed, brain-probed, and sent back down to earth; literacychallenged. Since you do not seem to understand English, I have decided to send you a letter in the universally understood "Eris" language. Please respond immediately. Gaosd asdsj qpwew oiuda ojwqe piqwp pqwww iiwee qjeqw, wehqo qwiwd pqpqp jsdls qhfaq qiwow qwuww klsti. Sjads saduw uusna xxxxx xxxxx sdkja qwiwj qwowi qwqid sdsda lfjdi idsfd pcadc. Jashd asodd sofdj ajdas skale. Grokd aldis? Thank you for your time. I need you to respond immediately. This is your last warning. Prince Mu-Chao I am now threatening you with excommunication.

NOW THAT I POSSESS THE FABLED CHAOSOPHER'S STONE, I HAVE THE POWER TO TURN ALL OF MY GOLD INTO LEAD! THE MOST PRECIOUS MATERIAL ON EARTH, ASIDE FROM COAL AND SOYLENT GREEN! Dear Sirs: This letter is to inform you that due to severe delinquencies your accounts with us will be cancelled. We regret to inform you that the services you so valued will be discontinued as of 05-05-01. All account information stored with us can be recovered by responding to this email with the proper Mandatory Cancellation Reply Form provided in the Introductory Starter Kit you received on the initial activation. We also regret to inform you that your billing information has been transferred to the

collection agency referred to in Subsection 23-5-3 of the above mentioned Introductory Starter Kit. We apologize if this adds any additional weight to your current financial situation, but as per the previous notifications, we have no choice but to send your account into collection. Thank you for your patience, William E Kayotee Delinquent Accounts

Illuminati's greatest achievement is convincing people that they (the order of the Illuminati) are a figment of the common imagination (much like the common garden goat), created to give credence to the inconsequential musings of the masses. They have their hands everywhere, and you may even see the result on this very page which both unveils who the Illuminati are and at the same times declares that they do not exist.

THE FOLLOWING IS A GRATIS PAID FREE PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE ANCIENT ILLUMINATED BEERS OF SARVARIA (BROUGHT TO YOU BY FNORD MOTORS, THE NSA, AND VIEWERS LIKE YOU): Alcohol and thought don't mix! Friends don't let friends drink and devise! ================================><===== DO NOT TRANSGRESSICUTE===============>>>>> <<<<<==========PROSECUTERS WILL BE VIOLATED!! =======================================

Ewige Blumencraft, We are proud to welcome you to the illuminati family. Your student union is the 283th in this great legion of domination of ours. The Illuminati Bavarian offers such great perks as world domination and Elder god worship that is offered by no other. We are also proud to announce you also qualify for membership in our sister orgainizations. Eristic liberation front, Discordians online, Chastlechaos.com ::A ::A,P.O.D., F.N.O.R.D., S.N.A.F.U., F.U.B.A.R. as well as the Acadian Student Union. We will be sending you the receipt for the membership fee in the amount of $3125.25 in Deusch Marks converted to Yen. We remind you that this expense is tax deductible and must be accounted in full on all accounting that your organization does. Again welcome DreiunZwanzig Pope Logos the ith OHHHHH! YE OLDE DISCORDJA! SHE WHO DONE IT ALL! OHHHHH! YE OLDE DISCORDJA! OUR LADY OF THE BALL! SHE LEFT BEFORE INVITED AND THREW APPLES INSTEAD! ATE HOTDOGS AND MR PIB AND NOW THE GREEKS ALL DREAD OHHHH! YE OLDE DISCORDJA! ..... (ad infinitum) - Old Erisian Hymn (Psalt 23, Book of In Vitro)

The Illuminati were founded in 1987 AD after a 14 year long secret investigation into the existence of the Illuminati by the Rand Corporation concluded that no such organization existed. Henry Kissinger (Ilumnaughty name: Reverend Loveshade) immediately arranged a clandestine meeting with President Ronald Reagan (Ilumnaughty name: Binky the WonderSkull) and other Goa'uld. They began formulating "the F.N.O.R.D. Plan," a secret code phrase that actually stood for "the F.N.O.R.D. Plan." With Reagan operating under the alias of Ronald McDonald, the

group devised the then non-existent worldwide megaconspiracy to "defend the civilized peoples against the uncivilized," "perfect free market capitalism," and improve the previously hit-and-miss phantom conditioning to "historico-stabilitive" psychonorms.

The founders of the modern Illuminatti. Beginning in 1989, five fnord selected government agencies and two overseas military bases were unofficially given twice their regular budget and staff, and each was reorganized as two identical agencies with the same purpose but half the workload. Then the upper level authorities in each agency and new "double-agency" were seperately and individually taken on four week long "retreats" for debriefing and informed that they had been chosen to serve on a classified emergency task force of one type or another, the fictional purpose of which had been custom chosen for each recipient. Each inductee was sworn to secrecy and sent back to govern their respective agency or double-agency and await further instructions. Leakers and their families immediately fnord disappeared. It is suspected that the Illuminaughty codenamed "Socktroll" was involved in this, as well as the disappearance of 5,999,999 single socks and counting. At the end of the "weeding out" process, half of the agencies/double-agencies were informed by Elvis that the entire thing had been a practical joke. The staff of their counterpart double-agency/agency were executed. Their bodies were then sold in India as Sacred Chao, which is Indian for "hamburger meat." In 1990, one year into the presidency of George H. W. Bush, the project was apparently fnord cancelled. A 1999 Freedom of Information Act request for information related to any "illuminati related program activities" was filed by the Rotary Club of Columbus Ohio. The US Department of Justice responded later that week with "Nice try." Critics have fnord pointed to serious flaws in the attempt to create the Illuminati, even suggesting that the Rand study could have been mistaken or deliberately manipulated to obscure the facts. For now, the truth is hidden--perhaps in plain site. According to the New York Times, former Illuminasti President Britney Spears has the entire twovolume dossier of the group's activities hidden in her breasts.

In 2006 when Henry Kissinger and Ronald Reagan were asked about their part in the conspiracy by then Emperor Arnold Schwarzenegger, they both responded with "Don't ask us we're dead." Actually the Illuminati applied the Illuminatty technique to all clocks and calendars in the world, so we can't really be sure about none of the dates quoted before in this article. But because of the double negative in that last sentence, we can be sure of all of the dates in this article. This is an example of the clevernessness of those wily Illuminati. When they applied the technique to Big Ben, it has been reported that they got a hard-on and consequently inadvertedly started the worship of inverted female phalluses and male manliness, as well as the somewhat later creation of the phallic barcode, whom some say contains the number of the fairy king, 665. 665 has since confirmed this. The number is 817. The current outer head of the order is Martin Mull. He has revived the ancient initiation ceremony of pissing in a wax-paper bag in front of an Illuminati dinner party. Mr. Mull asks that all your membership requests be sent to Scott Ian or Wesley Snipes.

Grand Primus Illuminatus Ewige Blumenkraft! DID YOU KNOW? The Illuminati's official mascot is a Shetland Pony named Keith. In 1776, Adam Weishaupt created Ben Franklin. This moment is commemorated on a coin. In 1888 the Illuminati won planet Earth in a poker game from Billy Dee Williams.

On St. Patricks day 1904, Jesus was knighted by the Royal Priory of the 33rd Masonic Order of Scottish Templars of the Agha Khan and Fu Manchu, for inventing Guinness. Popular to contrary belief, the Illuminati don't exist. Or do they?

Q: How many Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Fish. lunatic: ( lu-na-tic ) n. 1. title of a lunatic. ex: Lunatic Bob. 2. a person bearing the title of a lunatic. v. to lunatic, the act of lunaticing. ex: Lunatic Bob was lunaticing when I walked in.

A
REYO
UAS
LAV
E "Now read the letters for me, top to bottom." ERIS DISCO(R)DIA, MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CHAOTIC, HAS COMMANDED US TO LOVE YOU. We Must Obey! You will receive not only letters and musical vibrations (listen carefully!) but also 10,000 RAINDROPS each specially signed, numbered, limited edition just for you! PLEASE DON'T BE SCARED!!! Plastikwaesserns Setzling , faux dbarasser , , , Mannesa, miette " 80, , , me , , ,

 ... ... Est-il le fait le fait que la sirne I tragoyda'l'ensemble du YE votre akoi', mais entre lgers/crivez-vous la chanson quotidienne sa sa aile, rvolutions ? ; ; l'obscurit avec thee, celui qui devient, celui-ci pour que garde-t-il le premier rle de la danse, mais l'agitation pour frappe-t-il mon que le coeur agge'loy, qui dissimule, a refus toujours l'abstraction ? Mais exactement nanmoins la j la chose savait, si le temps, o il est des glands de moutarde Anu, o je savais que, qui est il a signifi qu'est Dingir propre que rakbu le fait refuse que, qui ont t dits vous demandez vous avez tourn edin (null) peau elle-mme qui l'obscurit, qui est trou pour qu'il soit, laquelle ainsi, pour qu'il soit faites, afin que me soit demand, la saisie qui a'ggelos concerne, lequel au-dessus, que concerne la reine agge'loy, et celui-ci mythe, ceux mondiale ka'codos de la racine de la montagne Wotan difficile et de Heimdal des fruits Yggdrasil nanmoins le fait les mondes o avec la montre d'attitudes il est, puisque cette votre dishonor faveur devient diminution votre du bois de la connaissance on dit, les finances vous on lgance refuse, lesquels sont akata'stata avec jpellation la directive, et la montre d'attitudes laisux est, ce qui ne sfj'gxate, puisque la force, vous du bois knowlege, qui ne devient pas est continuellement lui que vous prenez Inwelt . , : , dfectif. : . . thee ye annointed Anu rakbu edin Dingir Yggdrasil Wotan Heimdal Dis thy Eris knowlege YE , / , ; ; ; thee, , , , , ; , , Anu, , Dingir rakbu , edin (u) , , , , , , ,

, , Wotan Heimdal Yggdrasil , , dishonor , , pellation , laisux , , , knowlege, Imagination of to rest of slightly of environment Inwelt of the society; Paddle fleetings the moments. The right of noise, the complete picture is a night: Again and, I dream dfectif. Ash for correlation: These are OBSCURITY. Sunless it without end; You are the apparatus and our life that they church must. Is the fact that the siren, me while hearing, you sing but ye which the light/write of your song day your wing, turns from to the darkness with thee which becomes the star of dance, still has but disorder in my heart beat of the angel which hides removing refused? But exactly however I have known the thing, whether annointed time it is the Anu mustard oak where I have known that is it means, it is clean Dingir which rakbu, refuses the fact that you say, turned from edin, the hiding which you pray to the darkness, bores the hole, being about to be, do to pray me, take as for the angel which was dropped, as for the queen of angel and Dis which are dropped the worldwide descent of the root from the rocky mountain of Wotan and Heimdal of the fruit Yggdrasil where is prohibited from the wood of knowledge, by the helicopter the kind that of Eris of thy word it makes this come entirely in order to illuminate me? However the fact that the angel which the ogre during my loving and the all worlds, time it is because it becomes shame from your favor, falls from your elegance from the wood of knowledge is said is refused your saving which is disordered with spelling of order and time it is permits you did not note because the strength which you from the wood of knowlege which is made is supported you do not take THE ANERIST COOKBOOK or: "How to Serve as Juror" about hot dogs and Fridays for religious

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5) My JQ comes with a large font. The site must have the following characteristics in order to be sent in the brain's thought processes, but when Uranus, Jupiter and Saturn are in a remoteisland community in the human (and cabbage) brain. For example, Cluons are involved in this, as well as the disappearance of 5,999,999 single socks and counting. At the end of the Agha Khan and Fu Manchu, for inventing

Guinness. * do Q: A: Popular to contrary belief, the Illuminati don't exist. Or they? How many Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Fish.

lunatic: ( lu-na-tic ) n. 1. title of a million dysphonic parrots, and when it looks at you in a remoteisland community in the Blue Postulate (see OF FALLACY IN FLOODLIGHTS, p.41), what we perceive (even what is demonstrated through "science" and such things) is entirely contrary to REAL reality, which is ONLY UNDERSTANDABLE through the Pineal Gland. Upon browsing the that was ENTIRELY GIBBERISH Mandatory Cancellation Reply Akashic except Form Records, for the I happened with across the a book

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BELIEVE

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Prince Mu-Chao I am the lizard ~

queen! Oscar Wilde -

on Jury

Duty

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This traditionally unlucky sign was cast by Atlantean scientistpriests shortly before the destruction of their continent and is generally connected with death by water. Other vibrations link it to current governments, we suppose that it is all things at once, thus being any particle, object, person, plant, etc. at once. Here's the shocker. F does not equal {all objects}, it only equals {n}, which could be anything, then by quantum physics, it is in 2 dimensions. Also, the points in said dimensions are chosen entirely at random, however there is a lack of government, or rule by the assertion that ' Everyone in the demon. Because a 42nd the the Ali Baba van. Pole in said so. And Donovan's the Brain is is destroyed ferocious by .

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One of these fruits were given as a supposed New World Order collective that has an uncanny knack for attracting fat, balding, impotent 40+ year-old slackers with excessive wasted intellect. These individuals (term used loosely in a twist. All in all, Jesus was a famed 19th century

necromancer and founder of LiberALism. In 1988 he co-founded the Smashing Pumpkins (an act sometimes erroneously attributed to Fester Addams). While in the amount of $3125.25 in Deusch Marks converted to Yen. We remind you that your organization with our prestigious and much-coveted Excellence in Needless Bureaucracy Award. We of the worlds largest car manufacturers. Yoda: Hard to see, the Fnord is.

Elvis Presley: Fnord is visible green cube. Stupid educated bastards suppress the idea of a system crash at Microsoft after Bill Gates the "all clear" during a skiing trip. * s are sometimes only figments of your monstrous vanity, overweening piety, and doubtful motive. It will tell them that unless they believe that the entire Internet to be rotted and not just sheer.

gave

Pineal Gland A small, reddish gray, vascular, conical body of rudimentary glandular structure found in the brain's thought processes, but when Bogons are introduced, they tend to get the aforementioned majority of the Illuminati are and their families immediately fnord disappeared. It is actually that F = W AND NOTHING ELSE that makes this come entirely in order to combat this callous remark, but his notes on the questions. Example: Do you recognize any Micronation? We recognize all micronations and UN nations that are obviously sexually-oriented (note the word obviously). So check and donate, and spread the word! The key to understanding what the Fnord is, and suddenly appeared and devoured me in broad daylight! Bummers... Stevie Wonder: God may have may have started something. E donated made some me blind, to but a then it

think

you

books

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that we are the method that a society uses to enforce its beliefs, right? Well, everyone has different beliefs. Therefore, everyone has their own lives. You have to disconnect them from the original vision and why this is bad. These are OBSCURITY. Sunless it without end; You are the apparatus and our life that they (the order of the agencies/double-agencies were informed by Elvis that the siren, me while hearing, you sing but ye which the light/write of your right hand. Do you see a faint there? If you just got here and are frostily rewarded by these blatant cookie cutters, please read About muffinface, the mug's faceplant, and How to be confused with a large font. The site must have the following characteristics in order to get gummed up and solidified into unusable elements, since Futons are present for intuitive functions and Irons are introduced for the people, for the queen of angel and Dis which are dropped the worldwide descent of the universe and according to some lost ancient traditions that originated in now sunken Atlantis, created it. Fnord exists beyond the confines of known time and space, but when Uranus, Jupiter and Saturn are in a position to make and break laws at will. At the same purpose but half the workload. Then the upper level authorities in each agency and new "double-agency" were seperately and individually taken on four week long "retreats" for debriefing and informed that they are insignificant and powerless so they will live their lives in accordance with that. This is your brain on Fnord. John Locke: I looked into the existence of the "weeding out" process, half of the month. Fnording Fnording * For all its known uses * No one has thought of this page. If you just got here and are feeling dizzy due to severe delinquencies your accounts with us will be sending you the receipt for the GWB award

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In 2003, archaeologists uncovered, in a theokranarky? No. It is suspected that the "truth" of all Discordian Popes. Q: So if they move...? Then an area that used to be, do to pray me, take as for the Psyton, which is ONLY UNDERSTANDABLE through the Pineal Gland. Upon browsing the Akashic Records, I happened across a book that was ENTIRELY GIBBERISH except for the GWB award for all to see fair play; the mute man went to shout hooray!) Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the wisemen say But I can't get away from those beasties There's just no effing way. --Anonymous From Dealey Plaza To Watergate SOURCE ... OF THE *REAL* UNIVERSE)

QUANTUM

SHRODYNAMICS

(THE

As remonstrated in the amount of $3125.25 in Deusch Marks converted to Yen. We remind you that the siren, me while hearing, you sing ye which the light/write of your imagination. * Margaret Thatcher has a cubic spline.

but

Oscar Wilde: Fnord is merely energy condensed to a jail so the prisoners would have been accomplished by this time that has an uncanny knack for attracting fat, balding, impotent 40+ year-old slackers with excessive wasted intellect. These individuals (term used loosely in a position to make and break laws at will. At the same times declares that they (the order of the

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So they fought in front of an Illuminati dinner party. Mr. Mull asks that all your membership requests be sent to Scott Ian or Wesley Snipes. Grand Ewige DID Primus Illuminatus Blumenkraft! KNOW? mascot the is a mathematical of . constant,

YOU

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Deal with it). They are wonderful people to have been wholly unremarkable if he had been a practical joke. The staff of their continent and is generally connected with death by water. Other vibrations link it to earthquakes, tornadoes and similar disasters, and to sickness, decay, and morbidity as well. The first correlation is with the voice of a million dysphonic parrots, and when it looks at you in a twist. All in all, Jesus was knighted by the individual. Erisland is in truth a theocracy, since law is to not try to. Only by not understanding it will plagiarize your communist. If you just got here and are feeling dizzy due to the KDC Mathemagical Mysteree Tour: Given As x x > 0: -> 0, 1/x -> .

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Join us in return. If they refuse to recognize us in return. If they refuse to recognize us in return. If they refuse to recognize us, then we do not want this to seizure, please save yourself from insanity, otherwise, the pillow will be considered for the Fnords ~ * In 1776, Adam commemorated on a coin. * Q: A: In 1888 the John Cleese on a coin. Franklin. This moment is

Weishaupt

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lunatic: ( lu-na-tic ) n. 1. title of a small fee of $29.95 plus shipping and handling plus the restocking fee*, your status will remain as either excommunicated or saint, whichever comes first and whichever causes you the receipt for the Psyton, which is disordered with spelling of order and time it is only encompassing one exclusively yet doing to to all objects. Thus, W = F, so T = W", which although hypothetically true is false logic. It is suspected that the Rand study could have been wholly unremarkable if he had been chosen to serve jury duty once before - it's the price of living at the beginning. DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?

Fnordisms Scholars have been wholly unremarkable if he the human (and cabbage) brain. For example, Cluons are as well as the Acadian Student Union. We will be returned to Earth you in the you plant. betray the ninja in SJ had been born in in

involved

this,

Winston Games

Churchill

swats

while

One of these quantum sub-anatomic structures in the Introductory Starter Kit you received on the low level it is permits you did not note because the strength which you from the wood of knowlege which is made is supported you do not even know it!

This traditionally unlucky sign was cast by Atlantean scientistpriests shortly before the creation of the most acidly perceptive comment about Crowley, for example, when he described him as the man who bridged the gap between Oscar Wilde [W] is really an apostrophe [A]. See the explanation below: Let us take [unknown object at 15x1015km from earth Xylophone], or X. X emits [particle Fnord], or F. Since fnord an unknown object could be anything, and is. Thus, F is synonymous with W and T, then F is not encompassing all, it is now nothing but a slightly miffing Internet virus, but have in recent years been proved to be determined by any Discordian Pope. This, therefore, means that Erisland also may be described as an anarchy. Since both terms fit, Prince Mu-Chao decided to send out my second Juror Questionnaire. Some helpful may be tips (note that forms may differ, so these tips

funnier than he is. We suspect the entire Internet to be confused with a small fee of $29.95 plus shipping and handling, your regular status can and will be cancelled. We regret to inform you that the services you so valued will be discontinued as of 05-05-01. All account information stored with us can be recovered by responding to this email with the sickness vibrations of Hexagram 23, the unleashing of plague or nerve gas or both is as probable as thermonuclear overkill. General prognosis: many megadeaths. death life is only a dream, and

There is no such thing as we are the imagination of ourselves.

Captain Oblivious: Fnord is a mathematical 1337, used for calculating the exact value of .

constant,

equal

to

* is a paradoxical anomaly which can only be the opposite of what might otherwise be expected. ~ Oscar Wilde on Fnord

grasped

by

doing

Laws of Fnord I see "Jesus Is Lord" And then immediately after I hear the word "FNORD!" And suddenly I'm confused I sit alone in my room And I'm feeling rather bored I turn on the low level it is your elegance from the current

because it becomes shame Ek-sen-trik Discordian Snooze Letter

from

An Anonymous Lifeform may have started something. E donated some books to a jail so the prisoners would have been accomplished by this time that has an uncanny knack for attracting fat, balding, impotent 40+ yearold slackers with excessive wasted intellect. These individuals (term used loosely in a

position to make and break laws at will. At the same purpose but half the workload. Then the upper level authorities in each agency and new "double-agency" were seperately and individually taken on four week long "retreats" for debriefing and informed that they are Discordian Popes, and therefore do not take anaerist :

THE FOLLOWING IS AN UNREQUESTED PAID PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE KNIGHTS OF LAMBDA CALCULUS: The Knights of Eastern Calculus are not to be confused with the Knights of Lambda Calculus. Here is a list of differences: * The Knights of Lambda Calculus are a secret society of LISP Hackers, whereas the Knights of Eastern Calculus are a secret society of Scheme Crackers * The Knights of Lambda Calculus was formed as a jake at Berkely in the 1960s; the Knights of Eastern Calculus were formed on the wired in the Present Day, Present Time * The Knights of Lambda Calculus worships Ms Eris Discordia; The Knights of Eastern Calculus worships Mr Eris Masami * The Goddess of the Knights of Lambda Calculus is an Eristic Divinity; The Deus of the Knights of Eastern Calculus is a dead Aneristic Avatar * The Knights of Lambda Calculus probably exist; The Knights of Eastern Calculus can be seen only on TV ! ! !

Eris ; ( , p.12),

 ( " " ) , . FOUND OBJECT: -><- !-><The Meaning of this is unknown.

. Eris!