Non compus mentis

JULY Summer Cricket Issue 2014

Dutch and UK news oddities from both sides of our codless pond
CADS REPORT
CADS Report publishes private, secret, and classifed nonsense about the state of the UK and
the Netherlands from anonymous news sources.
I say old chap,
what kind of
ball is that?
Its a Putin!
Sir John the Leg Swinger
CADS poetical cricket corespondent
ITS JUST NOT CRICKET
Pootie-Poot Putin in his baseball cap
Throwing curveballs all over the map
Its not right, its not cricket!
Vlad the Impaler is taking of his shirt
To wrestle with the EU girls down in the dirt
Its not right, its not cricket!
All were really saying is, it doesnt really feel
Like were all playing on a level playing feld
Its not right
Its just not cricket
Bend over bank-man and take one for the team
A billion dollar bonus and a handshake from the queen
Its not right, its not cricket!
Youve got the inside track thanks to that bent cop
Then you lie, cheat and steal your way back to the top
All were really saying is it doesnt really feel
Like were all playing on a level playing feld
Its not right, its just not cricket!
Hitting a six into Gaza in a tit for tat
You simply cant get away with that
Its just not cricket!
All were really saying is it doesnt really feel
Like were all playing on a level playing feld
Its not right
You know its just not cricket
Ebola, ebola
Is this our fnal over?
My dear old thing, what a sticky wicket!
Its not right, its just not cricket!
So put your woes at bay
And come you CADS to VRA
For lunch. Or the whole day.
Corner
C
h
a
i
r
m
a
n

s
WATERS
MIKE
SEE YOU ON THE 15th AT THE VRA!
August Issue 2014
O
n Friday 15th August we are
wandering again. In line with previous
years we are going to the VRA cricket
club in the Amsterdamsebos, where
John Richardson has kindly arranged
a summer lunch for us, and we will be able to
watch a UK touring team take on the Cloggies.
We meet from 1200, and lunch will start promptly
at 12:30. For those unfortunate souls who have to
return to the ofce the lunch will fnish shortly after
1400, whilst the rest of us retire to
our deckchairs for post-
prandial drinking,
snoozing, and
commenting
on the match
unfolding
in front of us.
T
he 2014 silly season has evaporated
following the tragic shooting down
of MH17. Our hearts go out to those
who have lost loved ones, and our
prayers are with them. As I write this,
the investigative team has just arrived
on site, more than two weeks after the
disaster. Together with the massacre of
civililans going on in Gaza, this is turning
into a horrifc summer holiday.
However, amidst the gloom there is
one excellent piece of sunny good news
to share with you all. After spending a
signifcant period of time (the actual
number of years remains a secret) building
up her business and her reputation
as the most eligible unmarried CAD in
Amsterdam, member Christine Dunsmore
has at last fallen in love.
The lucky man is Ian McLagan, and
members should get the opportunity to
congratulate him and give Christine their
best wishes during the September lunch.
This space reserved for CADvertising