Deadwood Free Press Vol.

2 Issue 27 December 13, 1878

Vol. 2 Issue 27 December 13, 1878

Bandits jailed; hotel robbed

Several men associated with the robbery
of Miss Sparta’s hotel, the former Phoenix,
have been jailed.
There were several shootings around
town associated with the incident.
“I was at the hotel last night, when it all
started,” stated a witness, Judge Rod Eun.
“I think it started as a robbery. They came
in with masks.”
“They wanted money, but somehow the
shooting started. It all happened pretty
fast.
“They ended up in the mines, as
normal.”
There were injuries in shootings within
the mine, as well as other accidents in the
dark. The photo shows two men, one .. uh
.. saving the other. We hope.
Among those wounded in the gunplay
was Mrs. Echo Devon-Torkelsonn, though
her recovery is reported.

Bella Union Robbed

Citizens came to the aid of former
Town Councilwoman Salissa Wilder,
owner of the Bella Union, and
gunned down two vile men who
attempted to have their way with
her and rob her.
Mrs. Diogenes Kuhr located a
shotgun in a back room and took
advantage of her position on the
second floor to hurt both men who
released Miss Wilder. One, a Joe
Verwood, was wounded and escaped
only to be cornered by Sheriff Glen
Devon, who was wounded himself
in the gun battle. The second man,
whose name was unavailable, also
attempted to escape before turn-
ing the corner to the stairway and
running smack dab into Methodist
Minister Rev. Baird Bravin. The
villain got off a shot that nicked the
pastoral elbow, but the minister was able Among those injured in the melee was ally been employed by her, and had been
to squeeze off two shots that downed the Judge Rod Eun, struck in the head. offered wages when they decided to attack
villain for capture. It is to be noted that neither he nor the her. She commented that other capitalists
Miss Wilder, though struck in the head by sheriff struck the men in the testicular should learn from her error and not open
the vile men, was not shot, though she was manifest though it would have been sorely a safe near men of ill repute.
nearly hit by a bullet in the exchange. tempting, instead it is reported the men Rev. Baird said he was outraged on
“Any closer and I would be missing an were clutching that region because they the attack upon the innocent woman and
ear,” Miss Wilder said. Still ... had overeaten on beans earlier. Nope. would be preaching about it on the streets.
“I am so grateful to my fellow citizens,” Nobody kicked them. “It’s a disgrace if this town cannot respect
she commented. Miss Wilder said the men had actu- Maidenhood,” he said.

1
Deadwood Free Press Vol. 2 Issue 27 December 13, 1878

Editorial
I know this will be a surprise to regular
readers of the Deadwood Free Press, which
is close to celebrating its 2nd anniversary
as an institution of truth.
But sometimes newspapers are not accu-
well. He found someone at the New York
Times whose only experience with Indians
was probably seeing a white man playing
one in a Buffalo Bill show.
In fact, the paper reported soon after in

Letters to the Editor rate. Sometimes they are manipulated.

Editor,
I wish to bring to your attention, and by
their perusal of your publication, the Town
Council’s attention, of a most disturbing
issue. I was walking down Main Street
the other day, minding my own business,
mind you, when a drunken lout staggered
out of one of the many houses of iniquity
that abound within our city, and knocked
me over.
This deplorable specimen of humankind
then just started to stagger away. I of
course called after him to let him know
that such conduct was not appropriate to
the locale nor the time of day, it being
before 10 a.m. This lout turns and weaves
his way back to me and tells me to, well, I
cannot say the word being a good Chris-
tian and your worthy publication would not
print such profanity in any case.
Let it suffice he took a few minutes to
describe my dubious ancestry and per-
sonal habits. He then most unexpectedly
punched me.
When I awoke a few minutes later, he
was gone. I tried to find an officer of the
law, but our brave constables were nowhere
to be seen. The Town Council must do
something about the sinful ways of the
miners and other less desirable elements
in our society.
A Christian man should not have to be
exposed to such brutality within the limits
of our Town.
Jerome Harcroft III, Esquire
Deadwood
Editor,
I am writing to ask everyone who has
been good this year to please ask Santa to
find Morton the dog and send him back to
Miss Elizabeth Vita.
If everyone who has been good uses their
Christmas wish to get Morton back, Santa
will have to listen to us. I am using my
Christmas wish, and so is my father, Mr.
Clay Kungler. We need more people to
do the same and wish for Morton to come
home.
You can write a letter to Santa at his
home address.
Santa Claus
North Pole
Editor and Publisher
Neil Streeter
Reporter
Addison Leigh
Contributing Writer
D. A. Kuhr
Typesetter
S. Morigi
This is not surprising, as humans are
humans and subject to the conditions there-
a correction, the report was “sensational.”
The Indians have 156 wagons, drawn by
400 horses and 112 yoke of ox. At the
You could write something like this: in of error. Or evil and sloppy thought. time of the report, 97 wagons had arrived
Dear Mr Claus, Sometimes the casualties of misinforma- from the Missouri River with plenty of
I have been very, very good this year. tion can themselves become the problem, supplies. There are meantime efforts to
All I want for Christmas is for Morton and so it is about report regarding Indians create a warehouse in Sidney, Neb., at
the dog to return to Miss Elizabeth Vita which inspire either panic or laziness, and which to store some of the items and get
of Deadwood. Please help. I will continue not the rethinking of public policy. them closer.
to be good. It began with a report in the ((RL)) New There are more than 5 million pounds of
Sincerely ___________ York Times stating that the Red Cloud beef at or near the Indian agencies.
Please everyone, do this and we can give Indian Agency was running out of food. Somehow, we don’t see the Indians
Elizabeth a Merry Christmas. The report said food was at the Missouri starving anytime in the next week or so
Thank you, and simply could not be transported the even if they overboil some of the beef.
Miss Rachel Kungler 200 miles needed. Bear in mind, it’s up to It is difficult to blame the Eastern press
Deadwood the Indians to show their gratitude to the for being befuddled. We all read constant
Great White Father by doing the transpor- reports of mismanagement and corrup-
tation, and the report said they had only tion with shifting numbers and blame. The
Deer Edditer, 100 wagons and “puny ponies, not shod.” latest in what will be a series of approxi-
Me an Charlie was a thinkin we outter The headline simply said the Indians mately 5 million government reports says
rite a lettr, to make you awarre of a greet were “near starvation.” in fact the Indians of Dakota Territory
wrong. Weuns was goin inta this here The report says the wagons can carry and Wyoming got $3,000 worth of sup-
hoor house down by th crick. It were a only 1,000 pounds each on a five-week plies MORE than they were supposed to.
nasty place, but me an Charlie caint aford round trip, and yet it is necessary to move The report notes that the Indians were
bettr. Anyways, like we was sayin, me an a half million pounds of supplies. not being defrauded; instead, there was
charlie went into this hoor house an afore One thus imagines 6,000 Indians starv- a reasonable explanation for reports of
we kin say “how much fer a tussle”, this ing and thus driven to desperation. An shortage.
big feller don tole us th place was closed. I unnamed military officer based in Yank- Managers were very properly withhold-
got a bit het up over thet, as I was a feelin a ton is quoted as saying the natives will ing food to force the Indians to work. If a
mite frisky ya know. That bein th reason surely be on the warpath in Spring if not Brave wants his coffee and biscuits, he can
we was there. Well sir, I sed, we aint a before. work for it like the rest of us.
goin til we done got we done come ta git. The article concludes “Everyone is crying So let’s see what happened here. The
This big feller, he sed no agin. Then he mismanagement, and cursing the Indian military failed to notice the Indians had
sed it were a sin agin God ta fernicate this Bureau.” 100 carbines from our slain cavalry in the
away. Now, I dunno wut fernicatin is, so I This is no laughing matter. It was only hands of the Indians. Those guns could
tole this pup we was there fer some frolicin recently discovered that Dull Knife had have been used to held us at gunpoint while
dont ya know? somehow been able to hide 100 Spring- our women were Outraged. But that was
Well now, he got ta quotin from ta Good field carbines stolen from the dead heroes not the headline in the Times.
Book an then tole us fer our own good he of the Custer massacre. How the Army No, the headline was of the Army insult-
was a goin ta chase outta there like Jesus missed 100 weapons in the hands of the ing the Indian Bureau by making up non-
done to th moneychangers. Charlie said ifn savages is even less of a laughing matter. sense.
he tried we would stomp a mudhole outta Speaking of Indians going on warpath is So the Indian Bureau was blamed by
him an walk em dry. That big feller took something very real to us out here in the someone within the Army for something
after us an corse we done fit back. That future America that’s still pretty rough it did not do.
feller he culd fit rite nough. He knocked isolated territory. No one on the East seems to care that
pur Charlie out afore I culd hitem one wit However, as you can already tell, this the Army missed weapons.
a chair. Thet took th fight outta em, but stuff in the Times was nonsense. Clearly Score one for the unnamed military offi-
by then th pimp whut run that hoorhouse the Yankton officer was seeking to put a cer, and score nothing for wisdom.
pulled a shotgun an chased all three of us dagger into the Indian Agency, and he did
out. I aint afeered a much, but I aint argu-
fyin wit some yahoo whut gots a shotgun
pinted at me belly.
Reckin th reson weuns is ritin this is we
think th paper outta com out n say thet as though it were coffee or
a man gots a rite ta git his ashes drawed tea. Why, we nearly had
now n agin witout some jackass a gettin a riot on our hands due to
inta way. the lack of liqour. I would
Signed, ask what, if anything, the
X (Ezra’s mark) Town Council and the mer-
Charlie chants of our community
Miners have done to provide for the
time when foodstuffs and
liqours become scarce?
Editor, Daniel C. Stroud,
Once again. winter is upon us. and the Deadwood
snow is coming down fast and hard. Soon
we will be snowed in and will not be able
to get needed supplies, which brings me to (( To submit your letters
the reason for my missive to you. During to the editor, send a note-
our last winter, food was in short supply, card to Poohneil Streeter or
though with a bit of scrimping we got by. email deadwoodfreepress@
We also ran out of good quality alcohol. gmail.com ))
While I imbibe on rare occasions, the
miners and some others of the lower
classes of our society take strong drink

2
Deadwood Free Press Vol. 2 Issue 27 December 13, 1878

Winter blows in new immigrants

Residents of Deadwood showed their creativity, fortitude and fun ata

snowman building contest sponsored by Justice Rod Eun at the Number

10 Saloon.

As soon as they took shape, Deadwood’s newest residents took up

acting like oldtimers; Drinking, killing and carousing with the toughest

of Deadwood’s hardened criminals.

3
Deadwood Free Press Vol. 2 Issue 27
Town Council:
Women Shall
Vote, Goats OK
Thanks to the absence of proponent
Daniel Densmith, the Deadwood Town
Council was able to unanimouslyvote down
a plan to ask citizens if women should
vote.
“I still feel it’s a waste of the town’s time
and energy to have a town wide vote on it,”
said Dr. Morri Devon. “The people trust
us to vote on issues for them.”
“Aye, that’s why we’re here,” said the
newest Councilman, who was sworn in at
the meeting, banker Blayne Bluebird.
Citizens of the town also agreed. “I
think, personally, with there bein’ a Lady
on the Council, it would be right silly not
to give women the right to make their own
decisions, and it’d be a little contradictin’ I
think,” said Miss Agatha Udimo.
After the meeting, Densmith was con-
tacted and said he no longer much cared
about his proposal about the vote, and that
he appreciated the council’s time. He then
said he had business, and excused himself
further from the discussion.
In other business:
- The council welcomed two new resi-
dents to town, Jonny and Jane Lately. We
were not able to obtain pictures.
- The council did approve a hall of records
and a courthouse attached to the town hall
at a cost of $3,500.
Mayor Clay Kungler said, “What that
would entail would be both facilities to have
trials and keep records of marriages, crim-
inal records, births and of course deaths.
- Dr. Devon reported that it is her hope
three doctor will be available to serve the
community when she is convalescing after
giving birth this month. The hospital is
located in a two-story building at the far
end of Lee Street.
- The council voted to put up a sign
saying no one should store dead bodies
anymore in the ice house like they did last
year. Mayor Kungler noted this should not
be necessary because we now have a thriv-
ing undertaker. It will thus be posted.
“I suggest a padlock,” said Councilman
Bluebird suggests a padlock.
“A padlock would prevent all who use it
for meat and other storage from getting to
its contents,” commented Kungler.
- The council heard a request from
Councilwoman Coodnank Thibedeau, who
works at the hotel, to allow Miss Cookie,
co-owner of the hotel, to take her goat into
any business.
“Miz Cookie, she gots dis heah new goat
an it be lak her, um company un it be a
watchin out fer her an stuff. It be a good
goat all nice an mannerly, an report to
me raht regular. But see, dere be a bit
ob trouble in de town wif it an ah doan
thank dat be raht. Ah thank ennybody
whut need a company un wif em oughta
be allowed it for de better health and well
bein ob de whole town,” Councilwoman
Thibedeau stated.
At least, we think she said that. Surely
she said something like it.
“Well, I certainly think some of our
residents are as clean as goats so I see no
issues,” said Kungler. But not all agreed.
“And should we let hourses in the
saloon?” said Councilman Bluebird.
Miss Thibedeau strongly remonstrated
at the comparison. “Ah ain’t axin fer no
HORSE peepeye. Jus one lil ole company
un goat,” she said.
There was no vote, but Kungler said, “I
am sure we won’t have a problem.”
“Yo kin issue a license or sumfin fer
de goat? Ah would HATE fer dere to be
4
Miss Udimo introduces herself
Part of an occasional series of articles
from new residents.
Hello, I’m new to your small Mining
Town, and while I grew up in a vastly dif-
ferent place, I feel, no matter who
we are, or what type of family
we come from. Human beings
can generally relate on a similar
level.
My thoughts today are muddles,
and I’m not too sure where to start.
I wanted to write the town (That’s
you) about life, not about living by
any means. But about the actual
thing, that life is. Being alive.
I grew up in a very strict Catho-
lic Family, one of honour and of
money. To me, it did not seem as
if my Mother, Father, or my sister
lived by the Bible. It was more as
if they lived by the Bible, when it
suited them.
Personally, due to this way of
life that my family and I lived, I
found I did not want to believe in God,
after all, why would I want to worship a
being that prides himself on his Wallet and
Bella Union Theater Showcases Taming of the
Shrew
Starring: Planter Leitner as Petruchio
Elisabeth Leitner as Katharine
Herman Morpork as Baptista
If I had to some this performance up in a strong woman she is, for she lifted her
one sentence, it
would be, “The
cow stole the
show.” The
actors did a fine
job, even Dr.
Morpork, who
played Baptis-
ta, Katherine’s
father, did rea-
sonably well.
Some of his
lines were a bit
slu r re d, but
really, who is
shocked to hear
that?
Planter has a
trouble.” Miss Thibedeau pursued.
“I’ll write it a note. I’ll make it a deputy
in fact,” Kungler commented.
Belonging’s.
Of course, I know that’s not the case to understand life, to truly appreciate it.
now, I know the story of God, of how he Should God have shown us how valu-
created us, gave us life, and trusted us with able Life was? How important Life is to
it all by ourselves. I’m not sure if I believe
though, and by no means do I disrespect
anyone who does.
pleasant singing voice, as he warmed up
the audience with a song. Elisabeth played
her part very well, looking truly a sight
when she first appeared on stage. Quite
December 13, 1878
My main issue is, whether we were ready
have? Should he have told Adam and
Eve exactly what could happen if they
weren’t to look after one another, make
the right choices, thus living a better,
healthier, richer life?
I know that no one told me how
important Life was, or is. No one told
me, because they expected I should
live like them, pretending I was better
because I came from money, living in
fear that people would judge me if I
didn’t act like I was from money.
Because of that, I rebelled, and
I made bad decisions, I did things I
shouldn’t have done, and it cost a life,
my child’s life. All because I made one
bad decision, because I didn’t know how
important Life was.
I hope I’ve left you with something
to ponder over.
By Agatha Udimo
husband over her shoulder at one point!
Alas, working with children and ani-
mals, one is guaranteed a mishap of some
sort, and this production was no exception.
Perhaps the Leitners will leave live animals
out of their
next show, and
I must say, The
Bella smelled
just fine last
time I was in
playing Faro.
All-in-all, I
would recom-
mend for all to
attend the next
p e r fo r m a n c e
the Leitner’s
have.
By Mrs.
Echo Devon-
Torkelsonn
The Darjeeling Teahouse
has opened on Main, offering
sweet and solid treats as well
as multiple fine teas. This
young couple was among
many spotted there.
Deadwood Free Press Vol. 2 Issue 27
The Truth about Gunfighters
The recent sentencing of the notorious
gunslinger John Wesley Hardin on Oct.
3 1878, to 25 years in prison for the killing
of a deputy has encouraged some of us to
reflect upon the difference between the
reality of gunfighters and and gunfight-
ing, as opposed to the romanticized view
of it promulgated in the dime novels and
stage plays.
First off, the simple fact is that very few
gunfighters, either lawmen or outlaws,
have killed the actual numbers of individu-
als that are credited to them in popular
press and lore.
For example, our friend Wild Bill Hickok,
while an estimable gentleman, and dedi-
cated lawman, did not kill anywhere near
the 100 men he supposedly dispatched. In
fact, serious scholars of the way of the gun
estimate that the actual number of white
men he killed to be closer to about 10.
Hardin may be one of the few exceptions
to this rule, being an extremely nasty piece
of work who kills without remorse, and
often without much reason. He has quite
probably killed something in the range of
40 men, including negro peace officers in
the Indian territory, soldiers, and lawmen
in various locations. He is very quick with
his guns and a good shot. However, he
rarely takes on his opponent in a straight-
up sort of way, being more inclined to
shoot men in the back or from ambush in
most cases.
Wild Bill, on the other hand, stands out
as an actual example of one of the few
gunfighters to ever have actually stood
up against a foe in the classic, face-to-
face duel in the street that is so beloved
of authors and playwrights. In 1865, in
Springfield Missouri, Hickok did in fact
stand up against a gent named Dave Tutt
in this manner.
They faced each other at about 75 yards, couple of old-time fancy-pants New Orleans was exposed in the gap between the end of
and both drew. The truth of the matter dandies who insulted each other’s honor or the hallway wall and the piano.
was that Tutt actually drew faster, and got some nonsense like that. A good example
The Deadwood Shooting Society
We are pleased to announce the success-
ful formation of the Deadwood Shooting
Society, a loose confederation of shooters
of all genders, ages, and levels of skills.
We are united in a commitment to enjoying
the pleasures of developing and demon-
strating our skills at marksmanship with
a variety of weapons and in a variety of
circumstances.
Two meetings have been held so far, with
prizes (and drinks afterwards) provided
courtesy of the Grand Central Hotel and
Albion Importers. Any individual who
considers themselves a member in good
standing of this group may obtain a plaque
suitable for hanging upon one’s wall,
from the Mr. Rod Eun’s store next to the
Saloon No. 10. This plaque is available at
no charge, courtesy of Mr. Eun.
Following the last shooting session in
which long distance targets were engaged
-- with some remarkable results -- it was
determined that the club shall in fact have
no elected officers, no dues, and no rules
December 13, 1878
off four shots before Hickok fired once. of course is the killing a few years of Mr. The guns seems to have been loaded with
Tutt, however, was nervous and hurried in Hickok, in which a cowardly assassin did a large form of birdshot, rather than heavy
his shooting, and all four shots were misses. shoot him in the back of the head while he double aught buckshot, in order to mini-
Hickok carefully aimed his 1860 Army played cards. In recent activity, one might mize collateral damage when fired indoors.
Colt in a two-handed grip and dropped his point to the recent example in which Joe When the gun was discharged, a portion
opponent with one well-aimed shot. Verwood and his confederate attempted to of the loads from both barrels hit home,
rob the Bella. As Verwood forced the pro- and Verwood was sufficiently wounded
so that after jumping (or perhaps falling)
from the Bella’s second floor porch, it
was relatively simple for Sheriff Devon to
apprehend the wounded man. it was a
calculated risk, but Miss Sal was nicked
by only one pellet. Her Piano, however, is
now somewhat badly out of tune.
Speaking of shotguns, for close-range
work, there is nothing that beats a good
scatter gun. Your common 12-gauge shot
shell will hold approximately 9 pellets of
00 (or “double aught”) buckshot, each of
which is about the size of a .32 ball. And
as with most double-barreled shotguns you
can fire both barrels virtually simultane-
ously, that means you will be sending the
equivalent of eighteen .32 rounds down
range at your opponent.
Yes. there are disadvantages to a shot-
gun - the shot spreads as it goes down
range, so it will of course be ineffective
for distance work, unless loaded with slugs
rather than shot. But then there is the
issue that you must reload after having
expended but two shots. This is why a
gunfighter who works with a shotgun will
certainly carry other arms as well.
Nonetheless the efficacy of the shotgun
in close quarters is undisputed. When a
In other words, the fellow who makes his prietor Miss Sal to proceed him down the reporter from some New York newspaper
gun clear leather faster is not necessarily second floor hallway toward the front of asked a New Mexico lawman why he car-
going to be the winner. the building. Your humble correspondent, ried a shotgun along with a Winchester
having procured a shotgun from Miss Sal’s 44-40 and a Colt .44 revolver on his man-
The simple fact of the matter is, most room, waited around the corner at the end hunts, the man’s eyes narrowed in con-
shootings are done by surprise or from of the hall. Once they appeared in the tempt and sharply replied:
ambush. It is simply the reality that get- open area by the piano, your correspondent
ting the drop on your opponent makes a simply waited until Miss Sal was shielded “To kill men with, you damned fool!”
hell of a lot more sense than dueling like a (mostly) by the piano, and Mr. Verwood
By D. A. Kuhr
and regulations, other than one which sug-
gests that feckless idiots are not welcome
to participate ... unless, of course, they
happen to be feckless idiots who we happen
to like.
Contact Mrs. Kuhr at the Grand Central
Hotel in order to be put on the list of people
who will be notified about club events.
By D. A. Kuhr
Town Councilman and capitalist Daniel Densmith was the winner
of a tightly drawn poker night hosted by Mayor Kungler and the
Gem at which several tables of contestants tested both their wiles
and luck. It all came down to one final hand, so tight was the final
contest with Judge Rod Eun. Both men and the room emerged as
friends, and Mr. Densmith treated to drinks after.
5
Deadwood Free Press Vol. 2 Issue 27
Story Night at the Bella: Much Variety
It was story night recently at the Bella Union. Here are some of the tales told, and songs sung.
Some are very fine, but omitted for reasons of space.
The tale told by
Mrs. D. A. Kuhr
“Back in the day when Papaw an m’
great uncle Ezra was goin’ across the big
muddy to trade with the Injuns an trap
beaver an fox fer the pelts, they had made
camp in this lovely lil’ valley. Mos beeyoo-
tifull place ye ever saw an they thought
they was in heaven: Crystal clear stream.
Bushes with lots o berries en tho twas late
summer
“An they settled in made a lean to, built
a fire an was fixin up some grub an some
coffee when they found out they warn’t
the only ones who thought the spot was
heaven. Seems a big ol she grizzly was
right fond of it too.
“An she come out o’ the bushes snufflin’
at the scent o’ their grub a’ cookin,’ an she
stands up on her hind legs, an before they
could grab they rifles she had rushed upon
Papaw an grabbed him in a big ol bar hug
an was gonna skoosh him.
“Well he was a’wrasslin’ back. but it
warn’ doin no good, an ol’ Ezra did the
only thing he could think of. He grabbed
up that boilin’ hot kettle o’ coffee an tossed
the steamin’ liquid into the bear’s face.
“Got some on papa’s head, too. but ye
cain’t make a cake without breakin’ some
eggs.
“Well, he hoped that would startle the
critter, make her drop Papaw, an lo an
behold it sure nuff did. Thing dropped him
an he scramble right fer the crik as quick
as he could.
“But ye know what else happens when ye
toss boilin hot joe in a bear’s face?
“It really really really really pisses em
off.
That ol she-grizz roars like a monster an
takes off chasin poor Ezra. An great uncle
Ez, bein the wise woodsman that he is,
runs like hell. That brar chased him across
the crik, up the one side o’ the valley, down
the other, an they kep a runnin until they
was nearly back in white folks country/
An Great Uncle Ezra sees this ol aban-
donned settlers cabin up ahead. He puts on
one last burst o foot
power, an gets inside
an shuts the door
just as the grizz is
fixin to chomp him
onthe buttocks. He
bars the door an
settles in. Gonna out
wait the bear.
“...And the bear
sets down outside,
gonna try to outwait
HIM. So Ez is inside
the cabin. The bear
is outside. An they
wait. An wait. An
wait.
“The leaves fall...
“Snow comes...
“An long about
Christmas time,
they’s both gettin
tired o this non-
sense. Ez is gettin
lonley. The bar is
too tired an hungry
to be pissed off any-
more. An with the
6
December 13, 1878
winter settin’ in they was both
stuck there. So Ez eventually
invited it in an they kinda took to
a new sort o relationship.
“Matter o fact Great Uncle Ezra
claimed that come spring him an
the she-grizzly got hitched
“But I gotta tell you, I ain’t sure
he’s bein completely honest about
the story. ‘Tween you an me, I
think he done exagerated a tad.
“’Tis my absolute belief he neve
married no grizz
“Nope. I think they was jus
shackin up together.
Mr. Clay Kungler
then sang the
famous ((RL)) Civil
War hymn, “Tramp!
Tramp! Tramp!”
“And and no it’s not about
anyone specific,” he added help-
fully.
“In the prison cell I sit, thinking
Mother, dear, of you,
And our bright and happy home
so far away,
And the tears, they fill my eyes
‘spite of all that I can do,
Tho’ I try to cheer my comrades and But before we reached their lines, they your business.
be gay. were beaten back dismayed, Some men talk ‘cause they got somethin’
And we heard the cry of vict’ry o’er and to say. Others talk ‘cause they got to say
“Tramp, tramp, tramp, the boys are o’er. somethin’.
marching, If your horse doesn’t want to go there,
Cheer up, comrades, they will come, “So within the prison cell we are waiting neither do you... or When in doubt, let
And beneath the starry flag we shall for the day your horse figure it out.
breathe the air again That shall come to open wide the iron There are more horses asses, than
Of the free land in our own beloved door, horses.
home.” And the hollow eye grows bright, and A halo only needs to drop a few inches
the poor heart almost gay, to become a noose.
“In the battle front we stood, when their As we think of seeing home and friends No tree is too big for a short dog to lift
fiercest charge they made, once more.” his leg on.
And they swept us off a hundred men Don’t wear woolly chaps in sheep coun-
or more, “Tramp, tramp, tramp, the boys are try during the breeding season.
marching, There’s two theories to arguin’ with a
Cheer up, comrades, they will come, woman. Neither one works...
And beneath the starry flag we shall And last, but not least... A word to the
breathe the air again wise... is unnecessary.
Of the free land in our own beloved
home.”
“Tom of Bedlam”
Judge Rod Eun did not ((an early song about
have a song or poem madness)) was sung by
or story, but he had Dr. Morri Devon.
something far more
lethal: one-liners To find my Tom of Bedlam
Ten thousand years I travel
Mad Maudlin goes on dirty toes
To save me shoes from gravel
The quickest way to double your money
is to fold it over and put it back in your Still I sing bonny boys, bonny mad
pocket. boys,
Never take to sawin’ on the branch that’s Bedlam boys are bonny.
supportin’ you, unless you’re bein’ hung for they all go bare and they live by the
from it. air,
Never follow good whiskey with water, and they want no drink nor money.
unless you’re out of good whiskey.
If drinking hurts your business, quit I now repent that ever
Deadwood Free Press Vol. 2 Issue 27
More Fun, and Finally, Tears
Poor Tom was so disdain-ed.
My wits are tossed and semi-crossed
Which makes me thus go chain-ed.
I went to Pluto’s kitchen,
to beg some food one morning.
There I got souls spiking hot,
while on the spit a-turning.
There I took up a caldron,
where I boiled ten thousand harlots.
Though still a-flame I drank the same,
with a health to all such varlets.
Me staff has murdered giants,
me bag a long knife carries,
to cut mince pies from children’s
thighs,
with which to feed the faeries.
No gypsy, slut, or doxie,
shall win me mad Tom from me.
I’ll weep all night with the stars I’ll
fight,
the fray shall well become me.
So drink to Tom of Bedlam,
fill all the seas and barrels.
I’ll drink it all well brewed with gall,
and maudlin drunk I’ll quarrel.
Still I sing bonny boys, bonny mad row. Lest I should not be able to write you
boys,
Bedlam boys are bonny,
for they all go bare and they live by the no more.
air,
and they want no drink nor money.
Thespian Planter
Leitner, dressed as Lady
Clara Snootuphernose,
presented a poem, The
Spinster.
That charming face I love to view,
It emulates the cowslip’s hue :
Thy neck, thy hands, thy arms disclose upon the triumph of the
The colour of the Sharon rose.
Thy lips the swarthy Ethiop’s shame
(Their dear delightful form the same); through the blood and
But oh ! a deeper dye they boast,
In mourning for the teeth thou’st lost. tion. And I am willing
Thy chin, firm guardian of thy mouth, lay down all my joys in
Dame Nature stinted in its growth ;
It yet a thousand arrows bears,
Transform’d to bright and golden pay that debt.
hairs.
In coral tint thine eyelids glow,
And weep the setting suns below,
Yet still the tear of sorrow stops,
And stands congeal’d in amber drops.
Fly, shepherds, or your hour is come;
If fails her face to seal your doom,
Like amhush’d foes, her potent breath
Inflicts inevitable death.
Proprietor Miss Salissa
Wilder read a famous
letter by Sullivan Ballou,
written to his wife before
he died in the First Battle
of Bull Run in 1861, and
is a lovely meditation of
courage and death.
My very dear Sarah:
The indications are very strong that we
shall move in a few days - perhaps tomor-
again, I feel impelled to write lines that
may fall under your eye when I shall be
Our movement may be one of a few days
duration and full of pleasure - and it may
be one of severe conflict and death to me.
Not my will, but thine 0 God, be done.
If it is necessary that I
should fall on the battle-
field for my country, I
am ready. I have no mis-
givings about, or lack of
confidence in, the cause
in which I am engaged,
and my courage does not
halt or falter. I know
how strongly American
Civilization now leans
Government, and how
great a debt we owe to
those who went before us
suffering of the Revolu-
- perfectly willing - to
this life, to help maintain
this Government, and to
But, my dear wife,
when I know that with
my own joys I lay down
nearly all of yours, and
replace them in this life
with cares and sorrows
- when, after having
eaten for long years the
bitter fruit of orphanage
myself, I must offer it as
their only sustenance to
my dear little children
- is it weak or dishonor-
able, while the banner of my purpose floats
calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my
unbounded love for you, my darling wife
and children, should struggle in fierce,
though useless, contest with my love of
country?
December 13, 1878
I cannot describe to you
my feelings on this calm
summer night, when two
thousand men are sleeping
around me, many of them
enjoying the last, perhaps,
before that of death -- and
I, suspicious that Death is
creeping behind me with
his fatal dart, am com-
muning with God, my
country, and thee.
I have sought most close-
ly and diligently, and often
in my breast, for a wrong
motive in thus hazarding
the happiness of those I
loved and I could not find
one. A pure love of my
country and of the prin-
ciples have often advocated
before the people and “the
name of honor that I love
more than I fear death”
have called upon me, and
I have obeyed.
Sarah, my love for you is
deathless, it seems to bind
me to you with mighty
cables that nothing but
Omnipotence could break;
and yet my love of Country comes over me Divine Providence, but something whispers
like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly to me - perhaps it is the wafted prayer of
on with all these chains to the battlefield. my little Edgar -- that I shall return to my
loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear
The memories of the blissful moments Sarah, never forget how much I love you,
I have spent with you come creeping over and when my last breath escapes me on the
me, and I feel most gratified to God and to battlefield, it will whisper your name.
Forgive my many faults, and the many
pains I have caused you. How thought-
less and foolish I have oftentimes been!
How gladly would I wash out with my
tears every little spot upon your hap-
piness, and struggle with all the mis-
fortune of this world, to shield you and
my children from harm. But I cannot.
I must watch you from the spirit land
and hover near you, while you buffet the
storms with your precious little freight,
and wait with sad patience till we meet
to part no more.
But, O Sarah! If the dead can come
back to this earth and flit unseen around
those they loved, I shall always be near
you; in the garish day and in the darkest
night -- amidst your happiest scenes and
gloomiest hours - always, always; and if
there be a soft breeze upon your cheek,
it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans
your throbbing temple, it shall be my
spirit passing by.
Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I
am gone and wait for thee, for we shall
meet again.
As for my little boys, they will grow as
I have done, and never know a father’s
love and care. Little Willie is too young
to remember me long, and my blue
eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with
him among the dimmest memories of
his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited
you that I have enjoyed them so long. And confidence in your maternal care and your
hard it is for me to give them up and burn development of their characters. Tell my
to ashes the hopes of future years, when two mothers his and hers I call God’s bless-
God willing, we might still have lived and ing upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you
loved together and seen our sons grow up there! Come to me, and lead thither my
to honorable manhood around us. I have, children.
I know, but few and small claims upon