cosmo.
kiev 1
Haunted Christmas
Version 2.0
‘I so love life,’ said a voice.
It was one cold day of December. And today, perhaps, was one of the coldest.
‘Grr, so cold,’ said the second voice, shivering.
The cold morning breeze swept past through the trees, cut deep down even through the thickest coats
and jackets. The sun was out there, shining but nothing more. Underneath the blue sky, the frozen
feeling persisted.
The winter days had come early. This made everyone feel anxious about the advent of Christmas. The
celebration had already commenced. Soon, the streets were filled with the hymns of Christmas carols
and people rushing in and out of the stores and shops to buy their presents.
‘Hey, Kain,’ called the second voice.
‘What is it, Isaiah?’
‘Did you happen to know what’s with Kiev today?’
The sun was at a distance. It burned weakly above the crowns of trees. Beneath the bright cerulean
sky, there was Kiev on a morning walk. He had just come out of his class and there was nothing for
him to do yet. There he was, walking silently and uninterruptedly around the campus. But it was not a
leisure walk inspired by the beauty of the things that came across his sight. His manner suggested that
he seemed rather bored and there was not a hint of enjoyment in his eyes. They were expressionless,
dull and lifeless orbs that saw nothing. His face reflected nothing.
‘No, I don’t,’ answered the first voice.
He was a sight. But no one seemed to notice him. Nobody save for the two voices in his mind.
Kiev went on, his eyes on the meaningless distance ahead. He walked, in a relaxed and uniform
pace, aimlessly along the oval. He did not notice that he was almost near at circumnavigating its
length.
‘He seems so gravely serious. So serious for a morning walk like this,’ Isaiah reflected.
He sat on a bench nearest to him, beneath the shade of a huge mahogany tree. He folded the
sleeves of his windbreaker and adjusted them up to his elbows. He crossed his bare arms across his
chest. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and exhaled it heavily.
‘I don’t know, but he’s so cloudy here inside,’ said Kain.
There was an immense silence before him. Everything was dark and gloomy. The air, cold, the earth,
quiet, and his heart, empty.
‘It’s getting colder, too. I don’t understand.’
He glanced up toward the sky, as if trying to capture the sun’s radiance to warm him inside.
It was to no avail. There was a vague feeling of longingness inside him that was colder than
Christmas. It was a vacuum, he felt so empty.
Haunted Christmas Version 2.0
He took some air, an attempt to fill in the vacuous abyss but nothing had changed.
‘Better ask Kiev. It’s new, I don’t recognize this kind of feeling,’ suggested Kain. He, too, was confused
and bothered by the foreign feeling they kept on having.
It was not despair. It just seemed that there was something missing that left a black hole inside of him
– a black hole that seemed to drain him out all his energy, his life.
The two had never encountered this before. They were so surprised by the sudden change in Kiev.
The fogginess and coldness that they were experiencing at the moment were so unnatural. At least,
for the two of them.
This kind of feeling took power over Kiev several years ago- the time when Kain and Isaiah did not
exist yet.
‘Kiev, what’s the matter?’ It was Isaiah who asked.
Kiev did not answer. But he gave them the picture they needed for them to understand. A picture of a
girl with the most beautiful face, bluest eyes and childlike smile. A picture then a flash of memories.
Kain and Isaiah watched the memories silently as they flooded into their consciousness, memories that
had been revived from the remotest area of Kiev’s mind.
It all started three years ago. Until then, he knew nothing about love and emotions. He had loved no
one. He had lived alone; he had no intimate friends and never needed anyone. He never thought of
anyone until he met her, the girl with the most beautiful and bluest eyes in the universe. In an instant,
her eyes drowned his dull and lifeless gaze and gave him a new life to breathe.
They had only seen each other twice – the first was when they first met at the night of their
graduation – they were schoolmates but it was the first time they saw each other. The other one was
on one cold Christmas day. Her thoughts never left him since then. Every wakeful moment was
preoccupied by her childlike face, so simple yet possessed a beauty that could never be forgotten. As
he closed his eyes, his mind kept playing her delicate voice, her name and the short conversation they
had incessantly. Since then, he wished for only one thing. He wished to see her again - every living
moment of his life.
She became his every thought. She was everywhere – she was in his poems, in his songs, in every
twinkle of the stars and skies above, in the leaves and fireflies. How he wished for a chance to see
such beauty and life once more.
It was the first time, in his seventeen years, that he felt he needed someone badly.
He dreamed and wished for every possibility to be with her. But he never looked for her. He fought
the urge to come and visit her. It was torture, but it the only torture that he would love and would
permit himself to feel.
He waited for her to come. He was so certain that one day she would show up to smile at him again.
And she did.
It was on one cold day of December. Kiev was on one of his million pilgrimages around the city,
walking just purposelessly when suddenly, somebody walked beside him and matched his pace. He
looked up at the person enfolded in a winter coat and saw a pair of blue eyes. In a moment’s pause,
he allowed himself to capture every detail of the beauty that just appeared from nowhere. She was
a beauty to behold in the midst of the busy streets that evening. He nodded in acknowledgement then
resumed walking. She smiled sweetly and joined him in a journey that seemed to last a lifetime.
It was an entirely unprecedented. It was as if it was the most natural thing in the world and there was
no foreword, no introduction needed. If one who believed in magic and fairy tales had knowledge of
their story, he would surely say that it was like a fairy tale - Keisha came to make Kiev’s dream come
true.
There they were, two people who had met just once, and who barely knew each other, silently
walking side by side, exhausting themselves in a pointless walk around the busy streets of the city
under the cold Christmas sky.
Soon they grew tired and decided to buy themselves a drink. They exhausted all their energy and
there was none left but an immense feeling of joy and contentment of being together.
‘Hi Keisha,’ he said it so simply, addressing a friend that he would love to see. ‘How do you do.’
‘Hi Cosmo. I’m fine,’ she smiled, feeling the same, and then she added, ‘Merry Christmas.’
‘Merry Christmas.’
‘I came to see you,’ she said after a minute of silence.
The statement did not astonish him. ‘I waited for you,’
‘I know,’ there was triumph, gratitude and satisfaction on her face. Then suddenly she became serious.
‘I always wanted to see you. I don’t know why but I kept having this feeling that I must come to see
you,’ it was a confession she would never say to anyone but him. She paused, deciphering the emotion
in his lifeless eyes.
‘You’re here.’
‘Yes, Cosmo. But I’m afraid that I shall leave you again,’ her voice trembled. ‘That’s why I come, to tell
you.’
‘Where are you going?’
‘I must not say, but I would be away for quite long.’
‘Will you come back?’ Keisha thought that she saw a flicker of hope in his eyes but they remained
expressionless.
‘Yes. Will you wait for me?’
‘Always,’ his voice, low and solemn.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be.’
‘Thank you.’
Their eyes met. There was no need for any explanation, they both perfectly understood. The feeling
was so intense, so deep and powerful that no words were needed.
‘Well, I guess this is my only chance. I must say this though you knew it already. But I would love you
to hear this confession.’
Keisha nodded and waited.
‘I don’t know what I’m feeling every time I think about you. It makes me feel that I need you. I never
needed anyone – I would never admit it even if I did – never but to you. If I am to use the language
that human beings use to name his kind of feeling, I guess it’s proper to say that I’ve fallen for you –
no, I’m in love with you. I love you the moment I saw you,’ the words just came out smoothly and
effortlessly.
Keisha listened to his every word. These were the words in her mind. She glanced at him, smiling. Her
eyes already made a confession and Kiev understood.
He stood up. ‘Come with me.’
‘Where are we going?’
‘I must not say. Come.’
Soon, they were on top of the highest building in the city.
‘Cosmo, it’s wonderful!’
Keisha could not believe what she was seeing.
Kiev just looked at her, watching her as her eyes glimmered at every whistle and every explosion.
They were so full of life.
In a moment that seemed to outlast an eternity, they watched, absorbed in magnificent intensity of a
joyful and content feeling of being alive, as the colorful sparks jolted upward, like a speeding jet,
whistling, to be followed by the rhythmic outburst of the sounds then popping out in the darkness of
the sky.
‘Spectacular,’ Keisha said in conclusion as the last sparks died out and vanished into thin air.
‘I will wait for you, even if I had to outlive a hundred lifetimes,’ said Kiev.
‘We will meet at the ocean of galaxies and we will watch them dance for eternity,’ she smiled, her
eyes the bluest.
It was a line from one of his poems.
*************
‘Whoa. Are you two some sort of soul mates or incarnation of some two people in some distant past?’
asked Isaiah.
‘I never thought it could be possible. You barely knew each other but it seemed that you two had an
understanding that words were no longer necessary,’ commented Kain.
Kiev stood up. His gaze lingered and came across with the sight of a flowering tree that stood over
the distance. The sun shone over its long branches and its rays were reflected on the still sew-soaked
leaves. But his eyes were expressionless, lifeless in contrast to the life that the tree had in its flowers.
He looked up; the sky was clear blue and was infinitely high.
The bell rang and then students came rushing in and out of their rooms. Kiev got up from the bench
and strolled through the crowd. He looked for his friends and classmates in the midst of the crowd.
He found no one and decided to stay in the lobby. He watched people come and go. Then after
some time, he heard someone calling out her name.

He saw Kris approaching him. She was in the company of a girl whose presence surprised Kiev.
‘Hi, Cosmo,’ she said in greeting. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Nothing,’ he said, his eyes fixed at the girl.
‘Oh really? By the way, it is my honor to present to you my friend, Keisha Gyzel. Keisha, this is Kiev
Cosmo.’
‘Hi, Cosmo. How do you do?’ she was smiling sweetly.
‘Her blue eyes remind me of someone,’ said Isaiah, recalling someone he knew.
‘I’m fine,’ he replied, and then he added, ‘Merry Christmas.’
‘Merry Christmas.’
‘She looks very familiar,’ said Kain, sifting through the memories.
‘I’m glad that I finally meet you. Kris had been saying a lot of good things about you,’ said Keisha.
‘Oh really.’
Kris just watched them in sheer amazement. She was so certain that this was the first time that the two
had met yet there was something in them that suggested that they had known each other for quite a
long time.
For quite some time, Kiev had forgotten Kris. He seemed mesmerized by some spell that he could not
take his eyes away from Keisha. Kain and Isaiah were so busy recalling someone in their memory.
Thoughts were flooding them, thoughts about Keisha.
‘She’s the girl,’ Kain said after a while.
‘Erm,’ Kris coughed mockingly. ‘Excuse me, Mr. Cosmo. We both know that my friend, Kei, is really
stunningly beautiful – just like me – but I don’t want to think that you, by any chance, had any plan to
melt her on the spot,’ Kris was surely enjoying her clowning around.
‘Oh, yes, I’m sorry,’ Kiev said apologetically and looked away. ‘Pardon.’
Keisha just smiled. Her eyes the bluest.
‘Just kidding. No it’s okay. Don’t mind me. Go ahead,’ said Kris. She grinned.
‘Whatever,’ replied Kiev. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘We’re looking for you,’ answered Kris.
‘Me? But why?’
‘We’re planning to go to Smileyworld. Shopping. And then to Neitherworld Theatre. Would you like
to come with us?’
‘Sure, if it’s okay with you,’ he answered.
‘We’ll be grateful if you come with us, Mr. Cosmo,’ said Kris. ‘Right, Kei?’
cosmo.kiev 3
Haunted Christmas Version 2.0
‘Yes,’ answered Keisha.
‘Okay, un momento.’
‘It is fun,’ said Isaiah.
‘Sure you think it is,’ Kain commented.
They then walked toward the parking lot where Kris’ car was parked. On their way, Kris moved
closer to Kiev and asked in a low voice so Keisha would not hear, ‘You like her, don’t you?’ She liked
teasing him. She enjoyed watching his reactions.
He had expected the question. He smiled and said, ‘She’s beautiful. Like a fairy,’
‘I knew it,’ said Kris. She left him and joined Keisha.
The parking area was just a couple of minutes away. Kris took the key inside her bag, unlocked the
car and sat on the driver’s seat. Kiev opened the door for Keisha, let her enter first and sat beside
her at the passenger’s seat.
‘Looks you’ve got a beautiful and sexy driver, huh?’ Kris joked as she turned o the engine. The
machine roared. Kris backed the car and after a few seconds, they were driving along the Academic
Avenue.
Kiev rolled down the window to let the air in. it’s cold but he preferred fresh air to air-conditioned
air.
‘Is it okay with you?’ he asked Keisha.
‘Yes,’ she said simply.
That was the only conversation they had. Kris talked a lot of things about Kiev, teasing him, and
Keisha just smiled and laughed happily. Kiev just watched her in his usual quiet ways. He was feeling
much better and lighter.
The sun rose higher as they drove downtown. It was shining radiantly over head but the temperature
did not change. The cold air was blowing gently outside the car.
It was almost twelve noon when they reached the Smileyworld. They decided to eat lunch first. Then
they soon busied themselves strolling through stores and shops of the Smileyworld. At two-thirty, they
bought tickets and entered the Neitherworld Theatre.
The movie was wonderful. It made the two girls cry all through out. It was a love story.
It was already dark when they drove back to the Academy. The sun was glowing red, slowly hid
behind the trees and the temperature was dropping. The moon began to show up in the sky.
At the sight of the first star, Kiev bid good bye to Kris and Keisha. The moon was shining brightly as
he walked his way home. The coldness of the night cut deep through his jacket. But Kiev felt unusually
warm for the first time. The dark and gloomy aura had gone away. He felt strangely good.
‘I think the girl is responsible for it,’ Isaiah concluded.
The moon rose higher. It was still cold as the evening wore on. And there was Kiev Cosmo, walking
around the city, feeling strangely light-headed. He was thinking of the girl he had just met a couple
of hours ago, the girl he had the chance of meeting again after three years. There he was, thinking of
the girl, walking silently, and uninterruptedly.
He tossed his head up high and watched the stars dance. Underneath that cold December sky, he was
there, with a smile on his face and his eyes reflecting the glimmers of the stars and the lights around
him. He was feeling much better now.
‘She has come back,’ said Kain, also thinking of Keisha.
‘Good night,’ said the two in chorus.
Her mother passed by his room and saw that the light was still on. She went inside and turned it off.
She looked at Kiev. It was the first time that she ever saw him slept peacefully. She saw the smile
curving on his face.

‘Indeed,’ remarked Isaiah. He must be dreaming, she thought. She went out quietly and closed the door gently, careful not to
wake him up.

************ 05.01.08/31.05.09

someday, i’ll make the words dance to tell us everything that happened

every moment we’ve shared. every memory we’ve woven together

someday i’ll write about us

someday – when everything has been forgotten

and there’s no way for us to remember any word

of that childish compromise we once had

it’ll just be a memory of two people who once loved each other

it’ll just be a lost fairy tale that had blossomed sweetly,

sweetest when those people were together

and those dancing words will tell us everything

someday, we will meet at the ocean of the galaxies

and we will watch them dance for eternity.…

‘It is beautiful,’ said Kain

‘Sure it is. Just like her,’ said Isaiah.

Kiev smiled. For the first time, after three years, the haunted heart sang once again. At the bottom of
the page, he wrote her name: Ms. Keisha Gyzel.

‘I never knew that Kiev writes poems,’

‘He does. Apparently.’

All the emptiness, all the longingness he felt inside was gone.

‘We’ve got so much to learn about Kiev.’

‘Indeed.’

He let out a yawn. He glanced at the clock on the wall and realized that it was already late. He
closed the notebook and put it in the drawer.

‘Good night, everyone,’ said Kiev to Kain and Isaiah.

He was so tired. He threw himself into his bed and the moment his exhausted body touched it, he was
sound asleep.