Villain

V I L L A I N
by
Richard Stern
FADE IN:
EXT. DRAKE'S SEASIDE HIDEAWAY - NIGHT
A lovely Spanish-style villa perched high on a cliff

overlooking a black sea so still, it's hard to tell
where the starry heavens stops and the earth begins.
Above, it's full moon, a lover's moon.
INT. DRAKE'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
AGENT DRAKE DEVELIN (40), seasoned and impossibly

handsome, swaggers across the room like a panther on the
game trail.
His prey is AGENT ALICIA COX (35), a raven haired

beauty, picnicking with a bottle of Bollinger and a bowl
of strawberries on the bed.
AGENT COX
How does a government employee
afford a place like this?
Develin lies down across from her.
DEVELIN
I'm crooked.
He cracks a wide smile.
DEVELIN (CONT'D)
It's a rental, and this is a
special occasion.
She smiles, completely smitten.
AGENT COX
Three years.
DEVELIN
Three years, indeed.
Develin takes a deep breath -- uncharacteristically

nervous.
DEVELIN (CONT'D)
You know, when you've saved the
world and faced down every sort
of a diabolical scheme an evil
genius could devise, you come to
realize that relationships aren't
so bad.
Agent Cox stares at him blankly.
DEVELIN (CONT'D)
I mean it isn't the end of the
world, marriage isn't, I mean.
Because there is a good chance it
won't kill you.
AGENT COX
What are you talking about?
DEVELIN
That didn't come out right
either. I didn't think I'd be so
nervous.
She takes his hands, reassuring him.
AGENT COX
It's okay, Drake. What are you
trying to ask me?
Develin pulls out a ring and places it on her finger.
DEVELIN
Will you marry me?
Her face lights up. She throws her arms around him and
they kiss passionately.
A tremor strikes.
AGENT COX
That was some kiss.
Then another and another and another. The walls shake,

paintings fall and the lamp tumbles off the night-stand.
It stops.
An eerie red glow bleeds through the drapes.
DEVELIN
What the--?
Develin parts the drapes to reveal:
THE FACE OF A GIANT ROBOT WITH GLOWING RED EYES!
DEVELIN (CONT'D)
Run!
Develin grabs Cox and they run for the door as the giant
robot tears into the house after them.
STAIRWAY
They race down the spiral staircase just as the Robot

makes its way through the bedroom wall, grabbing and
clawing after them with its giant hands.
Develin and Cox make it out the front door:
EXT. DRAKE'S SEASIDE HIDEAWAY - CONTINUOUS
Develin and Cox run for it. Behind them, the Robot has
literally walked through the house, ripping it in half.
What remains collapses in on itself.
Develin and Cox have their backs to the cliff. Below,

churning seas and sharp rocks. There is nowhere to run.
AGENT COX
What now?
DEVELIN
Now you're going to run.
Develin smiles and runs towards the automaton, hollering
and waiving his arms to draw its attention away from
Cox.
AGENT COX
No!!
The Robot grabs Develin. His face balloons red as the

life is squeezed from him.
DEVELIN
(his dying breath)
Savage.
AGENT COX
No!!
The Robot tosses Develin's lifeless body into the

churning sea below and stomps off into the darkness.
INT. U.N. SECURITY COUNCIL CHAMBERS - DAY
The REPRESENTATIVES of the world's most powerful nations

gather around a circular table. Their faces are painted
with panic as they watch the jumbotron screen.
The SILHOUETTE of a man appears on the screen, clasping

a silver-tipped cane.
DARK SILHOUETTE
Archimedes believed that with a
long enough lever, and the proper
fulcrum, he could move the earth
itself. You see, gentlemen,
that's the power of leverage...
The silhouette steps into the light to reveal the

villainous visage of PROFESSOR MORTIMER SAVAGE (30) --
intense, nerdy and comic book convention handsome.
SAVAGE
When you have it, you control the
world.
The US AMBASSADOR (50) pounds his fist against the

table, exasperated by Savage's demands.
US AMBASSADOR
Be reasonable! We need more time.
That much gold can't be assembled
in 24 hours!
Savage wags a single finger at them.
SAVAGE
You have one hour to comply.
The council erupts into nervous cross chatter.
The screen flickers black.
The US Ambassador whips out an ULTRA SLEEK CELL PHONE

and taps out a text message: "RUN THE BALL"
EXT. SCORPION ISLAND - DAY - BINOCULARS
Mother Nature might as well have hung a giant "do not

enter" sign and hung it off the highest peak of this
awful place. Two massive rock formations flank a
steaming volcano, forming the likeness of a giant
scorpion.
INT. HYDRO-SKIMMER - DAY
A solitary, tuxedo-clad man stands aboard the stealthy

black water craft. He lowers the binoculars revealing
his thirty-year old, chiseled face. This is AGENT REX
STEELE.
He reads the incoming text message on his phone, cracks

a cocksure smile and guns the throttle. The tiny craft
rockets towards the foreboding island.
EXT. SCORPION ISLAND - ROCKY SHORELINE - DAY
The hydro-skimmer enters a maze of razor sharp monoliths

that protect the island. Heading for the mainland, it
cuts and weaves effortlessly through the stone titans.
As the hydro-skimmer races past, a metallic panel on one

of the rocks begins flashing red.
EXT. HIDDEN MISSILE LAUNCHERS - CONTINUOUS
One after another, the top of the rocks slide open to

reveal missiles. They track the hydro-skimmer and fire.
INT. HYDRO-SKIMMER - CONTINUOUS
Our hero glances down at the screen and sees missile

blips in all directions. He looks over his shoulder and
sees the airborne missiles closing in.
AGENT STEELE
Is that the best you've got?
He calmly presses the alert panel and a volley of

magnesium flares shoot up from the rear of the boat and
cling onto the rock faces.
The missiles change course and home in on the counter-

measures.
EXT. ROCKS - CONTINUOUS
The missiles crash into the rocks with fantastic force.
The massive stones spectacularly explode and tumble into

the sea like dominos chasing the hydro-skimmer.
EXT. HYDRO-SKIMMER - CONTINUOUS
The craft weaves through the falling debris and surfs

through the resulting impact waves.
INT. HYDRO-SKIMMER - CONTINUOUS
Again, the missile alert goes off. Our hero calls for
counter-measures, but his compliment is depleted.
Another cocksure smile. He sets the boat on auto-pilot.
He moves to the back of the boat. He removes his

cummerbund and clips each end to his cufflinks.
The missiles are closing in fast.
Steele holds aloft the cummerbund. It miraculously

expands into a large air foil and carries him high off
the deck before the missiles explode into the boat.
EXT. FLYING AWAY - CONTINUOUS
High above the wreckage.
STEELE
So much for the welcome wagon.
Steele swoops in over the island.
He sets his sights on the volcano and flies in.
EXT. VOLCANO - CONTINUOUS
Steele descends into the smoking volcano.
The grey plumes are so thick he can't see a thing. It

clears to reveal a hidden landing platform sitting above
the bubbling, lava-filled caldera.
INT. LANDING PLATFORM - CONTINUOUS
Steele lands in a rolling tumble, then springs to his

feet and draws a tiny pistol. The platform is empty.
In the shadows, dozens of purple eyes flash to life.
ROBOTS SWARM
The pistol is quickly knocked away, but our man isn't

going down without a fight.
Flesh meets metal with destructive precision. Positronic

brains are rattled, hydraulic limbs are broken and
microprocessors are smashed.
Just when it seems our hero has prevailed...
HUGO, a monstrous seven foot tall man, appears with a

small army of ROBOTIC HENCHMEN and surrounds our hero.
Steele raises his hands in surrender. The Robots seize

him. Hugo laughs manically as they take him away.
INT. CONTROL ROOM - DAY
The Robots, led by Hugo, enter the massive nerve center

of the island with Steele in tow.
Savage, clad in the pre-requisite mad scientist white
smock, goggles and black rubber gloves. He feverishly
performs a series of complex adjustments to a massive,
unidentifiable piece of machinery.
SAVAGE
Hector had Achilles, Wellington
had Napoleon, Montgomery had
Rommel and I have you, Mr.
Develin.
Savage turns to greet his guest and removes his goggles.
Instantly, he's confused.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
You're not Drake Develin.
STEELE
I'm his replacement. Steele, Rex
Steele.
Savage is momentarily amused. His eyes scan the rafters.
SAVAGE
Seriously, where is he? The
ventilation system?
Savage turns to a security monitor, scanning for any

sign of his arch nemesis. There is none.
STEELE
You mean nobody told you?
SAVAGE
Told me what?
STEELE
This is awkward. Savage, Drake
Develin is dead.
SAVAGE
Dead? How?
STEELE
Crushed by a giant robot.
HUGO
(under his breath)
Ouch.
STEELE
(as an aside)
I know, right?
Savage slumps back into his chair, completely deflated.
SAVAGE
Wow, just a little shocked, you
know Develin and I kind of had a
thing. Mr. uh, umm--?
STEELE
Steele. Rex Steele.
SAVAGE
Mr. Steele. He was kind of, well,
you know, my archenemy.
STEELE
That's why I'm here now.
SAVAGE
Okay, but we don't have a
history. It's a little strange
just to despise you out of hand.
STEELE
We're both professionals. Give it
a try.
SAVAGE
Well, I must confess a strong
dislike brewing.
STEELE
Go with that.
Savage jumps to his feet.
He clears his throat and regains his composure.
SAVAGE
You will have a front row seat to
witness my crowning technological
achievement.
STEELE
Achievement? You mean
abomination. Only a sick mind
like yours could pervert the
weather into a weapon, Savage.
SAVAGE
Weather? Wait, what are you
talking about?
STEELE
Your weather machine.
Savage is visibly annoyed.
SAVAGE
What weather machine? Do you see
a weather machine? Did you even
bother to prepare?
STEELE
Of course, but I was called in
last minute so I'm going to have
to improvise on some of the finer
points.
SAVAGE
Finer points? Tell me what this
machine does.
STEELE
You first.
SAVAGE
Me first, what?
STEELE
It's a shrinking ray.
SAVAGE
No.
STEELE
Space laser.
SAVAGE
Are you serious?
STEELE
Weather machine.
SAVAGE
You already said that!
STEELE
Come on, man, cut me some slack.
This is sort of my first time and
you're being kind of a douche
bag.
SAVAGE
A douche bag?!?!
Savage twists the top of his cane and the floor beneath
Agent Steele opens up and he falls to his doom.
Hugo and Savage stare into the abyss.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
Is he dead?
An awkward pause. Agent Steele SCREAMS.
STEELE (O.S.)
Alligators!! You really are a
douche bag!!
SAVAGE
(Savage calls down)
They had no business sending such
an inexperienced agent. The
nerve!
HUGO
(to Savage)
Hugo insulted.
They both turn to the ominous machine.
The flashing activation button beckons.
SAVAGE
You think they'll send someone
else?
Hugo shrugs.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
Then I guess I just should wrap
things up.
The button continues flashing and flashing. Beads of

sweat form on Savage's brow and his hand trembles.
INT. DR. GOLDBERG'S OFFICE - WAITING ROOM - DAY
INSERT CARD: 6 Months Later
The door reads -- "Laurence Goldberg, Mad Psychiatrist"
The waiting room is filled with SHIFTY PATIENTS, wearing

trench coats, fedoras and sunglasses. Beneath their
coats, we can spy hints of their super-villain costumes.
Hugo sits alone, reading a copy of Mad Psychiatry Today

-- sadly it's upside down.
INT. THE INNER OFFICE - SAME
A visibly distraught Savage lies on a leather sofa,

still in his white smock, goggles and gloves. He
apparently owns nothing else.
DR. GOLDBERG (50) a severe and bookish looking man,

listens intently.
Savage sits up, pleading.
SAVAGE
Why couldn't I do it!?!?
Goldberg remains still.
DR. GOLDBERG
Tell me what you've been doing
since then.
SAVAGE
It seems like every time I try to
do something really evil, it ends
up backfiring and helping
someone.
DR. GOLDBERG
I don't understand.
EXT. MIAMI BEACH - DAY - FLASHBACK
An overcast day on the beach. A few brave TOURISTS

shiver as they walk along the shoreline.
SAVAGE (V.O.)
Well, I unleashed my heat ray on
Miami.
Suddenly, a red energy beam pulsates through the clouds

and they melt away to reveal crystal blue skies. Jackets
are peeled off and the beach comes to life.
SAVAGE (v.O.)
Instead of incinerating the city,
I saved them from a cold snap
that nearly destroyed their
tourist season.
EXT. GREAT PLAINS - DAY - FLASHBACK
A DESPERATE FARMER walks through rows of browning corn

and examines the dry stalks. He looks up to the sky and
says a silent prayer for rain.
SAVAGE (V.O.)
I built a weather machine and
tested it on the Midwest.
Precious nurturing rain begins falling and the farmer

does a celebratory jig through the rows of corn.
SAVAGE (V.O.)
Instead of destroying the bread
basket of America, I ended the
worst draught in Iowan history.
EXT. LOS ANGELES - DAY - FlasHBACK
An especially heavy brown blanket of smog hovers over

the City of Angels.
SAVAGE (V.O.)
Then there was the time I fired
my space laser at Los Angeles.
A green pulsating beam strikes the fog and it instantly

evaporates.
SAVAGE (V.O.)
Instead of disintegrating
Hollywood, they haven't had a
smog alert since.
INT. U.N. SECURITY COUNCIL CHAMBERS - DAY - FLASHBACK
The same circular table as before, but instead of the

world's leaders, we now see a handful of underlings and
a lot of empty chairs.
SAVAGE (V.O.)
Eventually word spread and, well,
let me put it this way, talent
agents and criminal masterminds
judge their stature by who takes
their phone calls.
JUSTIN GIMBLEBLATT (23), their smarmy and rat-faced

leader, responds, his voice cracking as he does.
JUSTIN GIMBLEBLATT
Just what is it that you want?
SAVAGE
One hundred million or say
goodbye to Milwaukee!
They burst into laughter.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
What the hell is so funny?
JUSTIN GIMBLEBLATT
I guess we'll just have to do
without Milwaukee, Professor
Savage.
SAVAGE
Adios to Mill-ee-walk-eh.
JUSTIN GIMBLEBLATT
Sad to see it go.
SAVAGE
All that beer and cheese, gone.
JUSTIN GIMBLEBLATT
A real shame.
SAVAGE
Maybe a more reasonable number?
JUSTIN GIMBLEBLATT
Look, Savage, I didn't get to be
an intern attaché third class by
giving in to every Tom, Dick and
Harry who builds a doomsday
device. And let's face it, you're
not exactly a public menace. Near
as I can tell, the people of
Miami, Iowa and Los Angeles owe
you a debt of gratitude.
SAVAGE
Fifteen. Fifteen is as low as I
can go.
They all roll their eyes. He's not getting the point.
JUSTIN GIMBLEBLATT
In the interest of expediency, I
can offer you a five hundred
dollar American Express gift card
and--
SAVAGE
And?
He pauses and confers with his colleagues.
JUSTIN GIMBLEBLATT
And, a basket of assorted
muffins, if you stop calling
here.
Savage rolls it around and decides.
SAVAGE
Milwaukee lives... for now.
Agent Cox, sitting in the back of the room, shakes her

head in disgust and leaves.
SAVAGE (V.O.) (CONT'D)

With limited cash-flow, I had to
cut back.
EXT. SCORPION ISLAND - DOCK - DAY - FLASHBACK
A steady stream of Robotic Henchmen turn in their quasi-

futuristic uniforms and board a boat for the mainland.
Savage and Hugo hug a few of them.
Hugo and Savage watch longingly as the boat pulls away.
SAVAGE (V.O.)
I had to let my robot henchmen
go.
Savage twists the top of his cane.
The ship explodes and is engulfed by flames.
INT. SCORPION ISLAND - CONTROL ROOM - DAY - FLASHBACK
Hugo and Savage shut down the computers and various

mechanical apparatuses in the elaborate nerve center.
SAVAGE (V.O.)
Eventually, I lost the lease on
my volcanic island lair.
EXT. SCORPION ISLAND - DOCK - DAY - FLASHBACK
Hugo and Savage greet a lavish private yacht at the

secluded dock and welcome the MYSTERIOUS NEW TENANT
sporting a thick beard, sunglasses and a turban.
EXT. QUEENS BROWNSTONE - FRONT DOOR - DAY - FLASHBACK
Sheepishly, Savage and Hugo knock on the door. It opens

to reveal SELMA SAVAGE, a perky senior in a track suit.
SAVAGE
Hello, mother.
She beams with the pride of a half-senile Jewish mother.
SELMA SAVAGE
My evil genius is home!!
(beat)
You look thin.
INT. DR. GOLDBERG'S OFFICE - SAME
SAVAGE
And if all that wasn't enough,
today, there is this.
Savage sits up and slides a newspaper across to

Goldberg.
DR. GOLDBERG
(reading)
The world breathes a sigh of
relief as the demands of the
mysterious "Jackal" were met by
the U.N. and control of the
International Space Station was
returned.
SAVAGE
Keep reading.
DR. GOLDBERG
(reading)
Governments across the globe now
regard this shadowy figure as the
most dangerous man alive.
(beat)
So what?
SAVAGE
I held the space station hostage-
it was my first evil plot. It was
the first time I met, him.
Dr. Goldberg rolls his eyes.
DR. GOLDBERG
Let me guess.
SAVAGE
Do you have any idea how hard you
have to work to cultivate a true
archenemy? Years. I'm 10 years in
on the evil genius racket and
guys that I was at grad school
with are already criminal
masterminds. Meanwhile, I've got
no nemesis, no lair, no henchmen
and I'm living in my mother's
basement.
DR. GOLDBERG
Let's not focus on what you don't
have.
SAVAGE
Without those things, I'm just a
crank with four doctorates and a
master's in French.
DR. GOLDBERG
Mortimer, how many times did your
plans for world domination
succeed? And I'm not talking
about extorting money. I mean how
many times did you really go all
the way?
SAVAGE
What does that have to do with
anything?
DR. GOLDBERG
Indulge me.
SAVAGE
Uh, including the Grand Canyon
incident?
DR. GOLDBERG
Yes.
SAVAGE
Never.
DR. GOLDBERG
So isn't it just possible that
you never really wanted any of
these plans to succeed? That
Drake Develin was a convenient
excuse for failure? And now that
he's gone, you've just started
sabotaging your own work?
SAVAGE
Why wouldn't I want my own plans
to succeed?
Dr. Goldberg removes his glasses and sets down his

notes.
DR. GOLDBERG
Mortimer, you may not be evil.
Mortimer gasps, as though he's been told he has cancer.

SAVAGE
I want a second opinion.
DR. GOLDBERG
I know, it's a shock. And I don't
say such things lightly. Would
you permit me to run a test?
Savage nods frantically.
Goldberg goes into the other room and returns with a

tiny kitten - adorable and helpless.
SAVAGE
He's so cute, what's his name?
DR. GOLDBERG
Let's call him Mr. Jingle Bells.
SAVAGE
Well hello, Mr. Jingle Bells.
You're a very handsome little
gentlemen.
(to Goldberg)
I say that because he's got paws
that look like white gloves, you
see. Like a little kitty butler.
DR. GOLDBERG
I want you to kill the kitten,
Professor Savage.
SAVAGE
You want me to kill, Mr. Jingle
Bells?
DR. GOLDBERG
Yes.
Savage hesitates for a moment. The kitty looks at him

and purrs. He halfheartedly takes a swipe at the cute
fellow.
SAVAGE
Do you have a gun, or maybe a
little guillotine or something?
Maybe a blindfold, for me, I
mean?
DR. GOLDBERG
It's as I feared, you've somehow
grown a conscience.
SAVAGE
No, not necessarily, what if I
just prefer keeping him
terrorized, not knowing when or
where I'm going to strike?
DR. GOLDBERG
(halfheartedly)
I suppose that could explain it.
SAVAGE
Could be today, could be next
week. What do you think of that,
Mr. Jingle Bells?
The kitten just purrs.
DR. GOLDBERG
If you start forming friendships,
feeling remorse for evil deeds,
performing selfless acts, and
generally being kind to others, I
want you to call me right away.
I've had some success extracting
the kindness out of people.
(beat)
Just ask my ex-wife.
WAITING ROOM
Befuddled, Savage steps out of the office. The Shifty

Patients pretend not to see him and he returns the
favor.
Hugo is still flipping through the upside down copy of

Mad Psychiatry Today.
Savage tries to put on a brave face for his comrade.
HUGO
Feeling better?
SAVAGE
No. I grow weary of this
unrelenting self-examination.
HUGO
Hugo kill Dr. Goldberg?
SAVAGE
Clever, but my HMO makes changing
doctors such a pain.
(beat, pleading)
Does that make me a good person?
HUGO
Hugo not good at tests.
Savage sinks and glances at his robot watch.
SAVAGE
Damn, we're late.
Savage and Hugo put on their trench coats, fedoras and

sunglasses, then dash out.
INT. N.E.M.E.S.I.S. HEADQUARTERS - DAY
The mammoth conference table is skirted with a veritable

who's who of criminal masterminds.
At the front, the ruthless dictator, GENERAL BLIGHT,

flanked by the femme fatale, LADY BLACKBIRD, the
diabolical Asian cyborg MR. ROBOTO and of course, MARTHA
STEWART.
In the back, like second class citizens, the various

silent HENCHMEN of those attending.
GENERAL BLIGHT
So it is settled, the Christmas
party--
Martha clears her throat.
GENERAL BLIGHT (CONT'D)

The holiday party will take place
on the 23rd this year.
The crowd rumbles in agreement.

Nice of you to join us, Professor
Savage.
Professor Savage and Hugo try to slink in the back,
hiding amongst the Henchmen.
SAVAGE
I apologize. I was detained.
GENERAL BLIGHT
We understand. How is Milwaukee?
The table fights to hold back their laughter.
SAVAGE
Quaking in fear.
Lady Blackbird produces a large muffin basket.
LADY BLACKBIRD
This was delivered for you.
The motley crew snickers.
SAVAGE
I can explain that.
LADY BLACKBIRD
Looks like they shorted you a
couple of blueberry. Better get
that U.N. intern back on the
phone.
The room erupts in laughter. Savage shrinks.
GENERAL BLIGHT
Alright, come on, pass Strawberry
Shortcake over there his basket
and let's get on with it. We
still have the matter of the
henchmen health care coverage to
veto.
The lights in the room flicker and then suddenly, the

doors to the back of the room open.
A column of ROBOTIC HENCHMEN burst in, each carrying a

covered silver serving tray.

Savage, what are you doing?
SAVAGE
These are not my robots.
GENERAL BLIGHT
Of course they are.
One of the robots opens his chest-plate and a

holographic projection appears atop the table -- it is
the shadowy silhouette of THE JACKAL.
THE JACKAL
Forgive the dramatic entrance.
GENERAL BLIGHT
What is the meaning of this?
THE JACKAL
I'd like to apply for membership.
The robots uncover their trays to reveal PILES OF CASH.
They dump the money on the table.
The JACKAL (CONT'D)

My first ten years' dues in
advance.
Without missing a beat...
GENERAL BLIGHT
I nominate The Jackal for
membership.
Mr. Roboto
I second.
GENERAL BLIGHT
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto. A
unanimous vote is required for
membership. All in favor, say
aye.
The whole room offers a unanimous, "aye", save Savage.

All opposed.
SAVAGE
Nay!
MARTHA STEWART
(to Savage,
menacing)
Ruining this would be a bad
thing, muffin man.
SAVAGE
(pleading)
This guy is nothing but a leech.
A parasite. A copycat. I mean,
these are my robots, you said so
yourself!
(to Mr. Roboto)
What if tomorrow he shows up here
with your cybernetics.
(to General Blight)
Or in uniform!
(to Martha Stewart)
Or with the old flatware he
turned into shabby-chic holiday
ornaments.
(to the group)
Don't you all see? He's stealing
my ideas.
We can hear crickets as the group just stares at Savage.
GENERAL BLIGHT
I think I speak for everyone in
saying that as criminal
masterminds we're all a little
fuzzy on the whole yours and mine
thing.
The whole chamber rumbles in agreement.

But there is a line, Jackal.
THE JACKAL
I can't deny the good professor
and I share similar criminal
appetites. But, is it not better
to succeed in imitation than fail
in originality? He's the Joseph
Swan to my Thomas Edison. The
Antonio Meucci to my Alexander
Graham Bell.
SAVAGE
Now he's talking like me!
THE JACKAL
Those are my words. These are
yours.
The robot across from Savage begins playing...
SAVAGE (O.S.)
I don't know, my plans are having
unexpected consequences.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
(to Hugo)
We should have killed Goldberg
when we had the chance.
WHACK, WHACK - Savage strikes the robot with his cane.
Then another starts playing...
SAVAGE (O.S.) (CONT'D)

I unleashed my heat ray on Miami
and instead of incinerating the
city, I saved them from a cold
snap that nearly destroyed their
tourist season.
He lunges at that one, then another picks up...

I built a weather machine and
tested it on the Midwest. Instead
of destroying the bread basket of
America, I ended the worst
draught in Iowan history.
And another...

And then there was the time I
fired a space laser at Los
Angeles instead of disintegrating
Hollywood, they haven't had a
smog alert since.
Savage composes himself. Everyone is stunned.
THE JACKAL
Brother Blight, wasn't it you who
froze Miami?
GENERAL BLIGHT
Yes.
THE JACKAL
And Brother Roboto, weren't you
responsible for the draught?
MR. ROBOTO
Roger.
THE JACKAL
And Sister Blackbird, was it not
you who sought to choke the City
of Angels to its knees?
LADY BLACKBIRD
Yes.
THE JACKAL
Brothers and sisters, I submit to
you that Professor Savage is not
only a liability, he may actually
be good.
Everyone gasps. The secret is out.
SAVAGE
(confident)
I know what you're doing. Steal
my ideas. Smear my reputation. It
doesn't matter. New membership
requires a unanimous vote and I
will never agree to admitting
this Jackal. Chew on that!
Again, General Blight doesn't miss a beat.
GENERAL BLIGHT
All those for ejecting Professor
Savage from the N.E.M.E.S.I.S.
Brotherhood, say aye.
SAVAGE
Wait a minute! You can't--
Too late, the room unleashes a unanimous, "aye".
GENERAL BLIGHT
All opposed?
HUGO
Nay.
GENERAL BLIGHT
You don't get a vote, henchman.
Hugo looks to Savage and shrugs.
HUGO
Me try.
GENERAL BLIGHT
I'm afraid the ayes have it.
You're out Savage.
Savage and Hugo stand to leave.
SAVAGE
This isn't over, Jackal. Do you
hear me? You're in my cross-
hairs. It is on. No holds barred.
Complete carnage and no mercy!
Consider yourself my new nemesis!
THE JACKAL
Don't forget your muffins.
The whole chamber erupts in laughter.
EXT. N.E.M.S.I.S. HEADQUARTERS - CONTINUOUS
Savage and Hugo exit onto the bustling NYC street with
the basket in tow. Savage is flabbergasted.
SAVAGE
And you know the worst part? They
did short me on blueberry!
HUGO
What now?
SAVAGE
It seems we've been retired and
forced into the wilderness of
civilian life.
HUGO
The private sector is no place
for a structured-thinker like
Hugo.
Savage turns to Hugo, trying to choke back the emotion.
SAVAGE
I understand if you want to
leave.
HUGO
Hugo leave Professor Savage?
SAVAGE
I'm in a pretty deep hole.
Hugo smiles.
HUGO
Good thing Hugo tall.
Hugo smiles and puts an arm around Savage.
Savage smiles, and then realizes he's being nice.
SAVAGE
Don't touch me.
Hugo snaps back. Savage storms off.
INT. QUEENS BROWNSTONE - DINNING ROOM - NIGHT
Savage and Hugo share dinner with Selma. The pair are
long in the face, but Selma is her usual upbeat self.
SELMA SAVAGE
Hugo, I bought more of those bear
claws you like so much.
HUGO
Hugo love Selma.
SELMA SAVAGE
Such a sweet boy.
(beat)
So how goes your latest scheme?
SAVAGE
Alright, I guess.
SELMA SAVAGE
You know, I remember the first
time your father terrorized the
city. Rest his soul. They sent in
the National Guard. It finally
took a call from President
Kennedy himself to restore order.
Selma longingly looks to a shrine of pictures and

candles -- the centerpiece is a black and white photo of
a profoundly evil looking scientist, DR. SAUL SAVAGE.
SELMA SAVAGE (CONT'D)

Here's to you, my love.
SAVAGE
Dad was pretty evil, huh?
SELMA SAVAGE
He had his moments. You know I
once had to stop him from killing
the Feldman's cat, Murray. He
hated cats.
SAVAGE
Can we talk about something else?
SELMA SAVAGE
Freddy is making a comeback!
Next to Saul's shrine is one devoted to FRED SAVAGE,

with candles and photos from his entire career.

Maybe you two should--
SAVAGE
I'm not an award-winning child
actor turned director! I'm an
evil genius. Very evil. As in not
nice!
SELMA SAVAGE
Of course, I just--
Savage throws down his napkin and runs off like a child.
EXT. QUEENS BROWNSTONE - BACKYARD - CONTINUOUS

Savage storms out and screams at the stars.
SAVAGE
JAAAAACCCCKKKKAAAALL!!!!!!!
INT. STARBUCKS - DAY
Savage and Hugo walk into the Starbucks wearing matching

trench coats, fedoras and sunglasses. Real subtle.
Hugo orders coffees. Savage takes a seat.
After a few ticks, Hugo arrives with the drinks. Savage

pops off the lid and is immediately disappointed.
SAVAGE
No caramel? No chocolate
sprinkles? No whipped cream? My
god man, all that's left is the
coffee and that's the worst part.
HUGO
You gave Hugo specific
instructions not let you give in
to comfort eating.
SAVAGE
The lab smock has been feeling a
bit tight lately.
(beat)
Fetch me some artificial
sweetener.
Hugo smiles and shuffles back to the counter.
Savage holds the tip of his cane over the beverage. A

stream of whipped cream squirts out. He pops the lid
back on with a sinister grin.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
Advantage: Savage.
A YOUNG CHILD sitting at the next table looks on in

amazement. Savage tries to ignore him, but can't.
He holds the cane over the boy's drink and gives him a
spray. The child's eyes light up.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
Keep it to yourself, kid.
Hugo returns with the sweetener.
Savage sips his coffee and glances at the television.
TV REPORTER
The Jackal - dubbed by
authorities as the most dangerous
man alive - has struck again.
This time using a hundred foot
robot to rob the Federal Reserve
downtown.
Images recorded earlier show the mechanical titan under

siege by police and military personnel.
Savage does a spit take.
SAVAGE
He did it again!
Suddenly, the ground begins to shake.
A GIANT ROBOTIC FOOT sails past the front windows. As it

falls, the impact tremors cause the windows to shatter.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
This is where I draw the line.
Savage gets up and storms out onto...
EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS
The Giant Robot lumbers along.
Behind Savage, we see the devastation left in its wake.

Cars smashed. People screaming. Mass hysteria.
Savage twists the top of his cane and clears his throat.
Miraculously, his voice is amplified through every
speaker in a three block radius.
SAVAGE
Would the imposter driving my
robot please show himself?
The Robot stops.

Every television set and video monitor on the street
flickers to black, then reveals the dark silhouette of
The Jackal.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
You not only stole my robot, you
killed my nemesis too, didn't
you?
THE JACKAL
I'm the Fates' lieutenant; I act
under orders.
SAVAGE
That's it. This is where I draw
the line!
THE JACKAL
(Mocking)
Here's your line.
The robot's arm draws a line in the air.
THE JACKAL (CONT'D)

Here's me sailing past it and
waiving.
The robot gestures past the imaginary line.
SAVAGE
I'll stop you. And, don't think I
don't know how. These are my
inventions. Maybe I'll just call
the agency and give them the
blueprints, huh? I'll show them
every weakness, every
vulnerability, just to watch you
burn.
THE JACKAL
I wish you hadn't said that.
The Robot's eyes flash an ominous red.
THE JACKAL (CONT'D)

Humiliating you delights me so,
but now you've proven yourself a
liability and I can't have that.
The Robot picks up a taxi and hurls it.

SAVAGE
Sweet Aunt Sally.
Savage is paralyzed with fear as the cab flies at him.
Before the cab can hit its target, Hugo pushes Savage
out of the way, taking the full brunt of the impact.
He's thrown backwards with bone-crushing force.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
Hugo!
Savage gets to his feet and rushes to his side.
Hugo is broken and battered. Savage takes his hand.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
Easy, my friend.
HUGO
Hugo think taunting hundred foot
robot was bad idea.
Savage smiles, choking back his tears.
HUGO (CONT'D)
Hugo die now.
Hugo's pupils fix and dilate - in them, Savage sees the

reflection of the robot raising its arm to strike.
He turns, bubbling with rage.
SAVAGE
You bastard!!
Just then, Agent Cox steps in front of Savage with a BIG

ASS MISSILE LAUNCHER!
AGENT COX
Remember me?
She fires and the automaton's chest explodes. It falls

backward onto a delivery truck and is engulfed in
flames.
Savage quickly gets to his feet. The streets swarm with

agents, police and emergency services.
He runs through the flames and swings open the operators

hatch on the robot's chest, ready to strike with his
cane.
To Savage's chagrin, the robot has been rigged to run

remotely.
Agent Cox puts a gun to Savage's head.
AGENT COX (CONT'D)

Freeze. You're under arrest.
INT. THE AGENCY HQ - INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT
Savage twists the top of his cane and an image of Hugo

is projected on the wall. His face falls.
SAVAGE
(stuttering it out)
Goodbye old, ffff-friend.
The door stirs and he quickly deactivates the image.
Agent Cox storms in.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
Are you going to charge me with
something?
AGENT COX
How about the death of Drake
Develin?
SAVAGE
I wish.
Cox smashes his head down and presses it into the table.
AGENT COX
There's a hole reserved for you
in Gitmo with an Afghani goat
rapist that I flew in special
unless you convince me right now
that you had nothing to do with
Drake's death, that robot, or The
Jackal.
Savage strains:
SAVAGE
The Jackal was using the same
robot that killed Drake Develin
to kill me, too.
She backs off and lets him breathe.
AGENT COX
Why?
SAVAGE
These are my inventions, which
means I can help you stop him.
AGENT COX
And why would you do that?
SAVAGE
The enemy of my enemy is my
friend.
He'll have to do better than that.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
And there is the distinct
possibility that I'm not a
complete sociopath.
She looks at him, astounded.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
I know, right?
EXT. LARGE HANGAR - LATER
The mangled remains of the giant robot are being pieced

together by agents in environmental suits.
AGENT COX
We've got over a hundred
specialists searching through
these remains.
SAVAGE
And they won't find a thing.
AGENT COX
How can you be so sure?
SAVAGE
Did you find anything when you
dissected my toys?
AGENT COX
So how do we find him, Savage?
SAVAGE
We know his next move.
AGENT COX
We do?
SAVAGE
Jackal is a copycat. He started
with my space station caper, then
my robot heist, next is--
AGENT COX
Your space laser.
SAVAGE
Exactly.
AGENT COX
How do we stop him?
SAVAGE
There are three companies in the
world capable of producing the
proton accelerators my design
calls for and only one does
business off the books.
AGENT COX
The name?
Savage smiles deviously.
SAVAGE
Are you familiar with Archimedes,
Agent Cox?
AGENT COX
What do you want?
SAVAGE
My new archenemy on a pike.
AGENT COX
This isn't a private vendetta.
You're going to stay here in
protective custody. We lose you,
we're in the dark.
SAVAGE
I lost a friend.
AGENT COX
And I lost more than that.
SAVAGE
You and Drake? You were--?
Savage titters like a school-girl.
AGENT COX
Then we understand each other?
SAVAGE
Do you want to find him or not?
Cox wrestles with idea momentarily.
AGENT COX
(suddenly)
All right, but only because I
want to keep an eye on you
personally.
SAVAGE
That settles it then. We're going
to Tokyo.
EXT. HYPERSONIC JET - NIGHT
A small, ultra-sleek hypersonic jet cuts through the

clouds. It's something right out of Buck Rogers, like
nothing we've ever seen before.
It pushes past Mach 1 with a SONIC BOOM.
INT. HYPERSONIC JET - SAME
Agent Cox presses open a secret compartment and reveals

two ultra-sleek smart phones and a pistol. Cox grabs a
phone for herself and hands the other to Savage.
AGENT COX
World video phone, eBook reader,
email, GPS positing and tracking,
5 Megapixel camera, high-speed
internet, music and video
playback.
SAVAGE
DARPA?
AGENT COX
Amazon.com. It's the 5G Kindle.
SAVAGE
So you and Develin were getting
married, huh?
AGENT COX
There is a $200 restocking fee if
you die while using it.
She takes her seat and he sits down next to her.
SAVAGE
Did he ever mention me?
AGENT COX
No.
SAVAGE
Not even a, "Hey, you wouldn't
believe what tried to kill me
today" kind of mention?
AGENT COX
This probably isn't a
conversation you want to have
while I'm armed.
Savage smiles and starts nervously eating peanuts.
EXT. TOKYO AIRPORT - NIGHT
The jet swoops in over Tokyo -- bright, beautiful. It

glides in for a landing and screeches down the runway.
EXT. TOKYO AIRPORT PARKING GARAGE - NIGHT
Cox and Savage walk through the lot until they come to a
hot little silver roadster.
SAVAGE
What is it with agents and their
sports cars? It's such a cliché.
Wouldn't a Prius be more
practical and less conspicuous?
Cox places her hand on the driver's window and it scans

her palm. The lights flash and the car unlocks.
AGENT COX
Those who live in glass volcanic
island lairs shouldn't throw
stones, okay.
INT. ROADSTER - CONTINUOUS
Cox gets behind the wheel. It's laid out like a fighter
plane. She pushes a button and 400 horses roar to life.
AGENT COX
Besides good dental, a company
car is one of the few perks this
job has. Buckle up, Professor.
Savage clings to his seat belt as they squeal away into

the neon filled night.
EXT. LAO CHI ENTERPRISES - NIGHT
The roadster drives by the gate to the compound.

Surveillance cameras, electric fences and heavily armed
security guards protect the main building and warehouse.
INT. ROADSTER - SAME
Cox and Savage observe the compound as they pass.
SAVAGE
Lao Chi is the key supplier of
advanced technologies to the
international criminal community.
The only company on the planet
that could supply the components
The Jackal requires.
AGENT COX
Any ideas on how we get in?
SAVAGE
I happen to be a very well known
international criminal.
She looks at him skeptically.
AGENT COX
So we're just going to walk in?
SAVAGE
Do you have a better idea?
Agent Cox mulls it over -- it's actually a good plan.
AGENT COX
It's just I'm used to it being a
lot more complicated than that.
EXT. TOKYO HOTEL - LATER
The roadster squeals into the rotary. Cox tosses the

keys to the valet and he unloads their bags.
AGENT COX
Just let me do the talking and
stick to the cover story.
INT. TOKYO HOTEL - LOBBY - CONTINUOUS
Savage and Cox walk to the front desk. A friendly CLERK

welcomes them with a wide smile.
CLERK
Konnichiwa, welcome.
AGENT COX
We'd like to check in. Last name
Futterman.
CLERK
Ah yes, Mrs. Futterman, we've
reserved the honeymoon suite.
SAVAGE
One room?
CLERK
Is there a problem?
AGENT COX
Of course not. Isn't that right,
sweetie?
SAVAGE
Well, you do have your sleep
apnea, honey. Perhaps adjoining
rooms might make more--
AGENT COX
Don't be silly. If I can put up
with your foot fungus and
occasional incontinence, you can
handle a little snoring.
She smiles innocently at the Clerk; Savage is annoyed.
SAVAGE
Well, turtledove, there is your
night sweating, teeth grinding,
heat rash and--
She pokes Savage in the ribs, knocking the wind out of

him.
AGENT COX
One room, dumpling.
The Clerk smiles and hands them their key.
After they leave, the clerk picks up the phone and

speaks in Japanese.
CLERK
(subtitles)
After the Futtermans leave burn
the sheets.
INT. TOKYO HOTEL - CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS
Savage and Cox find the door to their room.
SAVAGE
I'm very particular. I need
things a certain way. I need my
space.
AGENT COX
I want to keep an eye on you.
Besides, it's the honeymoon
suite. There should be plenty of
room.
She puts the key card in the door.
INT. HONEYMOON SUITE - CONTINUOUS
The door unlocks. Savage and Cox step inside. It is

about the size of a college dorm room with a full size
bed taking up most of the space.
Palatial as Japanese hotels go, but hardly enough room

for two.
AGENT COX
I hate Tokyo.
The pair squeeze into the room.
Savage begins buzzing around every inch of the place,

taking an inventory of sorts. Can you say OCD?
SAVAGE
There is only one bath towel, the
soap smells bad, I need a hypo-
allergenic foam pillow, there is
only one chocolate, and the
wireless Internet is completely
inadequate for my bandwidth
needs.
AGENT COX
Do I look like your henchman?
Call the front desk.
Annoyed, Savage picks up the phone.
SAVAGE
Yes, hello. I want you to listen
to me very carefully. There are
several explosive devices planted
throughout your hotel. They will
go off unless you bring Room 567
more towels, regular soap, a foam
pillow, and a box of chocolates.
You have five minutes to comply.
Agent Cox is aghast.
Savage cups his hand over the phone.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
(to Cox)
Where are my manners? Did you
want anything?
AGENT COX
Gimme that.
She grabs the phone away and pushes him aside.
AGENT COX (CONT'D)

What a prankster. My husband has
such a peculiar sense of humor.
No, no need to call the bomb
squad. Just bring the towels when
you have time. Thank you.
She hangs up. It's time for a talk.
AGENT COX (CONT'D)

If we're going to be working
together, you need to get
something straight: we're the
good guys. And the good guys
don't strong-arm, extort, or
terrorize.
SAVAGE
So was the Afghani goat rapist in
Gitmo a gesture of friendship?
AGENT COX
That's different.
SAVAGE
I have an IQ of 195, so you're
going to have to do better than
moral absolutes and do-what-I-
say-not-what-I-do, Agent Cox.
She considers it.
AGENT COX
You're right.
SAVAGE
I am?
AGENT COX
Yes. I'm sorry.
Savage is oddly moved. She's human after all.
SAVAGE
Thank you. And, uh, I will try to
be a ggg-ggg-good guy.
AGENT COX
Okay.
Savage gestures to the television.
SAVAGE
Uh, so do good guys rig hotel
room televisions to get free
movies?
AGENT COX
No.
SAVAGE
This is going to be tougher than
I thought.
INT. HONEYMOON SUITE - LATER
Cox is in bed. Savage is on the floor next to her.
AGENT COX
Good night.
SAVAGE
Good night.
She clicks off the light.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
I must tell you, I'm strongly
considering taking you as my
lover.
AGENT COX
Go to sleep.
SAVAGE
I know you're overwhelmed at the
prospect, but don't get carried
away. The key word is considering.
AGENT COX
I said go to sleep.
SAVAGE
May I call you by a pet name?
Perhaps Lady Hugalump?
She rolls over and clicks the light on.
AGENT COX
Shut up and go to sleep or I
swear I will beat you to death
with your own shoes.
SAVAGE
As you wish, m'lady.
She clicks off the light. Silence.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
(whispering)
Advantage: Savage.
She clicks on the light.
AGENT COX
You've creeped me out now.
Go sleep in the bathtub.
SAVAGE
But, I--
AGENT COX
I'll remind you that I have a gun
and will shoot you. Go sleep in
the bathtub.
Savage picks up his pillow and heads to the bathroom. We

hear him MOAN and CONTORT until finally he's quiet.
INT. HONEYMOON SUITE - LATER
Agent Cox's eyes click open. She stumbles to the

bathroom. Savage is gone.
She grabs her Kindle 5G. The tracking program boots up

and she sees a GPS map with an active beacon moving
through the city.
INT. ROADSTER - NIGHT
Cox kills the lights and rolls to a stop in front of the

abandoned Geneticom headquarters.
She grabs a flashlight from the glove box and heads in.
INT. GENETICOM / LABORATORY - CONTINUOUS
The long abandoned laboratory was state of the art

twenty years ago, but is now nothing more than a big
rat motel.
Cox sees Savage surrounded by various bubbling beakers

and apparatus all connected to a large metal chamber.
Savage opens it and vapor spills out. He reaches inside.
Cox draws her gun.
AGENT COX
Freeze!
SAVAGE
Agent Cox, you'll forgive me but
this bun needs to come out of the
oven.
He removes: a bouncing baby boy!
She holsters her weapon.
AGENT COX
Oh my G-d, is that?
Savage shows her the baby. He looks exactly like:
SAVAGE
Say hello to baby Hugo.
She's instantly creeped out by NEWBORN HUGO.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
He's a clone. All henchmen are.
It's how criminal masterminds
keep their staff. With the
shooting and the blowing up --
nobody would take this job unless
they were genetically obligated.
AGENT COX
So how many Hugos have there
been?
SAVAGE
This is Hugo 10. And he's got big
shoes to fill. Literally, size
22, I have to special order them.
Fortunately, he'll be fully grown
in week or so.
AGENT COX
A week?
Newborn Hugo just stares, slack jawed and dull.
AGENT COX (CONT'D)

He looks really--
SAVAGE
Stupid. Yes, an unfortunate side-
effect of the cloning process.
Kind of like how a copy of a copy
loses resolution -- each clone is
a little "duller" than the one
before. This time I had to splice
in some of my own genetic
material to balance him out,
otherwise he wouldn't be able to
hold a spoon.
AGENT COX
What happened to the original
Hugo?
SAVAGE
The original Hugo?
Savage is lost in his own memory...
EXT. SCORPION ISLAND - NURSERY - DAY - FLASHBACK
YOUNGER SAVAGE watches through a two-way mirror as the

TODDLER EVIL HUGO has a tantrum and throws his crib at
the ROBOTIC NANNY. He smashes it like a pancake.
SAVAGE (V.O.)
The original Hugo was perfection
-- stronger than ten men, smarter
than a Rhodes Scholar, a
genetically engineered superman.
Younger Savage walks into the room. Hugo smiles and

spells out the word, "EVIL" with his blocks. Savage
admires him proudly.
SAVAGE (V.O.)
And, of course, as evil as I
could possibly make him.
Savage removes a copy of Moby Dick from the bookshelf

and begins reading to his evil little clone.
INT. SPACE STATION - FLASHBACK
ADULT EVIL HUGO, and Younger Savage, in space suits and

helmets, are at the main controls of the station. Behind
them is a dissembled nuclear warhead.
SAVAGE (V.O.)
Then it all went very wrong.
Dead ahead, a panoramic view of bright blue mother

earth.
YOUNGER SAVAGE
I think they're going to pay, we
just need to give them more time.
Hugo begins arming the warhead.
YOUNGER SAVAGE (CONT'D)

What are you doing?
EVIL HUGO
What does it look like?
SAVAGE
I said they're going to pay.
Hugo stares at the blue marble.
EVIL HUGO
If my chest were a cannon, I
would shoot my heart upon it!
Hugo starts the countdown.
He moves over to the propulsion controls and sets the

station on a course to re-enter the earth's atmosphere
over North America.
SAVAGE
This is no time to be quoting
Melville. You'll kill millions.
EVIL HUGO
This only works if they know
we're going to follow through.
Hugo locks in the course and then smashes the controls.
EVIL HUGO (CONT'D)

Now let's gets moving.
SAVAGE
You can't just kill those people.
EVIL HUGO
Sure we can.
Savage grabs a wrench from the console and charges Hugo.
Hugo catches the wrench mid-swing.
EVIL HUGO (CONT'D)

Master!?!?
Hugo has two feet on him and strength to spare. He

tosses the wrench and then lifts Savage over his head.
He hurls him across the command center in zero-gravity.
EVIL HUGO (CONT'D)

Consider this my notice.
Savage crashes into the airlock controls and they begin

to malfunction. Suddenly, the hatch blows.
WOOOSH! The vacuum sucks everything into space.
Savage hangs on for dear life -- he reaches out his hand

for Evil Hugo. He can almost reach him and then he sees
the counter ticking down.
EVIL HUGO (CONT'D)

Master, help me!!
In a split second makes a choice.
SAVAGE
I'm sorry.
Savage retracts his hand.
Hugo's face fills with terror. He loses his grip and is

sucked out, kicking and screaming, into space.
The last of the oxygen is sucked out and the pressure

equalizes. Savage seals the hatch. He breathes a deep
sigh of relief and moves to the warhead.
Just as he gets to the device.... SMACK!
Develin tackles Savage. The professor's head cracks hard

against the side of his helmet as he goes down.
Develin gets up and goes to work on the warhead.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
Who the hell are you?
DEVELIN
Develin. Drake Develin.
The last thing Savage sees before blacking out is

Develin aborting the countdown and saving the day.
INT. GENETICOM - LAB - SAME
Savage cradles the newborn clone, swaying him gently.
AGENT COX
Sounds like he was a lunatic.
Savage erupts in anger.
SAVAGE
Damn it!
AGENT COX
What?
SAVAGE
I'm feeling remorse! They must
have a pill for that, right?
AGENT COX
(puzzled)
I don't know, maybe. Look, I'm
not really sure we'll be able to
keep a baby in tow.
SAVAGE
Like I said, he'll be full grown
in a week.
Hugo begins peeing like a fountain.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
But he won't be potty trained
until 4:00 PM tomorrow.
INT. LAO CHI ENTERPRISES - LOBBY - DAY
Savage and Cox walk through the lobby. Savage is in his

usual garb, but Cox is now dressed in a skin-tight body
suit with black stiletto heels.
Having grown overnight, INFANT HUGO is in a harness on

Savage's chest, dressed in a miniature version of his
normal henchman jumpsuit.
AGENT COX
I feel absolutely ridiculous.
SAVAGE
You look fine.
COX
And that name is ridiculous. No
one would believe that's really
my name.
SAVAGE
Come on, you know no evil genius
has a female assistant named
Alicia. Sssshh. Here he comes.
MR. TANAKA (40), a devious looking fellow, in a fine

suit, meets them in the lobby.
MR. TANAKA
Professor Savage, so good to see
you!
He bows respectfully. Savage returns the courtesy.
SAVAGE
It's been a long time.
MR. TANAKA
And this is?
SAVAGE
My assistant. Ivana, Ivana Cox.
He kisses her outstretched hand. She can barely hide her

repulsion. Mr. Tanaka smiles at Infant Hugo.
MR. TANAKA
By the look of this little guy,
Ms. Cox got what she wanted?
AGENT COX
Eeewww.
SAVAGE
No. This is my henchman, Hugo.
MR. TANAKA
Hugo? What happened?
SAVAGE
(overdoing it)
He's a henchman, who cares!
The two men share a hearty laugh. Infant Hugo scowls.
MR. TANAKA
Indeed. Please follow me.
He gestures and they follow him.
INT. LAO CHI ENTERPRISES - OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
The quartet enters the luxurious office. Tanaka sits

down behind the desk. Savage and Cox sit opposite him.
MR. TANAKA
To what do I owe this pleasant
surprise?
SAVAGE
Proton accelerators.
MR. TANAKA
A rather archaic request.
Particle manifolds are state of
the art.
SAVAGE
Particle manifolds? I want to
disintegrate cities, not give
them sunburns! Of course, if you
don't have them, I can always
check with Obi Wan Electronics.
Tanaka smiles. He's buying it.
MR. TANAKA
No, no. Here at Lao Chi we always
keep a few pieces of the older
stock on hand for our special
customers. Let me check our
inventory for you.
Tanaka picks up the phone.
MR. TANAKA (CONT'D)

(into the phone)
Yes, I have a customer who wishes
to purchase a quantity of proton
accelerators and I wish to check
stock.
INTERCUT TELEPHONE CONVERSATION
THE JACKAL (O.S.)

Is it Savage?
MR. TANAKA
Yes.
THE JACKAL (O.S.)

Is an agent there with him?
MR. TANAKA
Yes.
THE JACKAL (O.S.)

Kill them both.
MR. TANAKA
What is the unit cost?
THE JACKAL (O.S.)

Ten million U.S.
END ON TANAKA
Tanaka smiles at Savage and Cox. They are completely

unaware of his deception.
MR. TANAKA
Excellent, I don't think we'll
have a problem liquidating them.
Tanaka hangs up the phone.
MR. TANAKA (CONT'D)

We can meet your needs. I'll go
get started on the paperwork.
Please make yourselves
comfortable.
Tanaka leaves.
Cox jumps in front of Tanaka's computer and brings up

the invoicing program.
AGENT COX
What am I looking for?
SAVAGE
Search for proton accelerators.
She runs the query. One entry pops up on the screen.
AGENT COX
Jack Lathe Enterprises.
SAVAGE
Say that name again?
AGENT COX
Jack--
SAVAGE
Spell it.
AGENT COX
J-A-C-K L-A-T-H-E--
SAVAGE
It's an anagram. It spells The
Jackal.
AGENT COX
Both have delivery invoices for
an address in the Bahamas.
She pops in a memory stick and downloads the

information.
AGENT COX (CONT'D)

Let's get out of here.
The trio hustles out of the office.
Moments later Tanaka returns.
MR. TANAKA
Damn!
He grabs the phone and barks an order in Japanese.
INT. LAO CHI ENTERPRISES - CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS
ALARMS sounds as Cox and Savage flee in panic.
AGENT COX
In and out, you said.
She grabs his arm and they run for it.
INT. LAO CHI ENTERPRISES - WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS
They cross the warehouse floor when suddenly...
NINJAS drop from the ceiling, swords drawn.
Surrounded, Savage and Cox press up back-to-back.
AGENT COX
What now, genius?
SAVAGE
Physical confrontations aren't
exactly my strong suit.
AGENT COX
How did I know you were going to
say that?
The Ninjas draw closer and closer, until...
AGENT COX (CONT'D)

Time to roll the hard eight.
Cox explodes into action.
In a blur of martial artistry, she cracks skulls, breaks

limbs and elicits a steady stream of colorful Japanese
curse words from her victims.
Cox turns to see Savage dodging blows left and right.
AGENT COX (CONT'D)

Do me a favor and hit somebody!
Savage turns to his trusty cane. He twists the top and a

stream of whipped cream shoots out, blinding the
attacking Ninjas.
He tries to flee and is caught.
SAVAGE
Can we talk this out? Violence
just means we've run out of ideas
on how to express ourselves!
The Ninja punches Savage repeatedly. Infant Hugo

grimaces and wallops the attacker while strapped to
Savage's chest.
The two look at one another.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
Advantage: Savage.
Infant Hugo coos with delight.
Savage and the baby go on the offensive. Infant Hugo

turns into a ball of ninja crushing fury.
BACK-TO-BACK WITH COX
It looks like they've turned the tide. Then a new wave

of Ninjas begins pouring in from all directions.
Cox spots a fork lift...
AGENT COX
Come on!
Cox pulls Savage to...
FORK LIFT
She burns rubber and the pair drive through the Ninjas
heading for the loading dock.
LOADING DOCK
There is an eighteen wheeler waiting to be loaded.
AGENT COX (CONT'D)

Get the truck.
They screech to a halt and Savage runs for the truck.
Cox grabs the propane fuel line on the fork lift and
yanks it free, spraying gas everywhere.
She whips out her trusty lighter.
AGENT COX (CONT'D)

Sayonara.
She lights the propane and uses it as a flame thrower

driving the ninjas back. Soon crates begin burning and
the fire quickly spreads throughout the warehouse.
Out of gas, she dumps the tank and makes a run for it.
INSIDE THE TRUCK
Cox gets behind the wheel and drops it into gear. The
giant truck plows through the closed steel loading dock
door and out into the street.
LOADING DOCK
MR. TANAKA, flanked by his Ninjas, arrives just in time

to see them drive off. All around, the warehouse burns.
MR. TANAKA
They cannot leave Tokyo alive.
The Ninjas scatter.
INT. TRUCK - CONTINUOUS
Cox is focused behind the wheel while Savage, high on

adrenaline, is chatting away in the passenger seat.
SAVAGE
(pumped up)
I've never been on this side of
things. It's exhilarating!
Cox looks in her side-view mirrors and sees Ninjas on

motorcycles gaining fast on both sides.
She presses the pedal to the floor, but the truck is

topped out at 120 KPH.
She checks the mirror again and sees the Ninjas climbing
onto the back of the trailer.
AGENT COX
It's about to get a whole lot
more exhilarating.
SAVAGE
Of course, a car chase!
Fantastic!
AGENT COX
Take the wheel.
SAVAGE
Perhaps now is a bad time to
mention that I don't know how to
drive.
AGENT COX
Are you kidding me?
SAVAGE
I live on a volcanic island. We
use golf carts to get around.
AGENT COX
You don't know how to fight. You
don't know how to drive. What do
you know how to do?
SAVAGE
Admittedly, you're not catching
me at my best. Perhaps there is a
manual?
Savage rummages through the glove box and finds one.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
It's in Japanese.
Cox flips on the cruise control.
AGENT COX
Hands on the wheel. Stay on the
highway. Don't stop for anything.
SAVAGE
Right.
Savage slides over and grabs the wheel. Cox opens the
door and slides out along the running boards.
Savage looks down at Infant Hugo.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
You get all that?
Infant Hugo, still in the harness, shrugs and takes the

wheel. Savage begins flipping through the manual while
the little guy drives.
OUTSIDE
Agent Cox carefully shimmies along the side of truck and

makes her way to the coupling between the cab and the
trailer. She begins unhitching the two, when suddenly
Ninjas strike from both sides.
BACK IN THE CAB
Savage is immersed in the manual, not even paying

attention to the road.
In the distance, all the cars are all stopping. Infant

Hugo's eyes widen. He whines and fusses.
Without looking up from the manual...
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
Is somebody hungry?
OUTSIDE
Cox delivers a series of crushing blows which send both

Ninjas flying off the speeding truck. She breathes a
sigh of relief and reaches to undo the last coupling.
Suddenly, a Ninja atop the trailer wraps a rope around

her neck and pulls her up.
IN THE CAB
Infant Hugo's whining grows more insistent, but Savage

still has his nose buried in the book.
ATOP THE TRAILER
Cox struggles as the ninja pulls back hard choking her.

Several of his comrades swarm, she kicks them all away
sending them tumbling off the trailer.
Finally, both Cox and the Ninja see the stopped traffic
ahead. She seizes the advantage and flips her attacker.
She grabs his sword before tossing him over the side.
With a single deft slice, she cuts the last coupling,

freeing the trailer from the cab. Cox leaps wildly
across the widening chasm between the cab and trailer.
She stabs the katana sword into the cab coupling and
hangs on for dear life as her stilettos spark and smoke
against the pavement. Digging deep, she pulls herself
up.
TRAILER
The trailer jack-knifes at high speed and wipes the rest

of the Ninjas off the road. It tumbles a dozen times and
then explodes spectacularly.
IN THE CAB
Infant Hugo can't keep it contained anymore, he bursts

out...
INFANT HUGO
Kaka-poopy!
Savage looks up.
SAVAGE
Kaka-poopy!
All the cars are stopped and an accident blocks the road
ahead. Infant Hugo cuts the wheel hard.
MEDIAN
The truck swerves and explodes through the median. It

flies into oncoming traffic dodging cars by inches.
Horns blare as the cars from the other direction spinout
and crash into each other.
OUTSIDE THE CAB
The sudden turn sends Cox swinging wildly off the side
of the truck. Just inches away, cars whiz beneath her
feet in the opposite direction.
AGENT COX
Savage!?!?
INSIDE THE CAB
Infant Hugo is swerving left and right trying to avoid

the oncoming cars. Savage is livid.
SAVAGE
What are you doing? First thing
when we get back home, you're
going for driving lessons, young
man.
Infant Hugo pays him little mind.
The door swings open, it's Cox.
AGENT COX
What are you doing?
Savage and Infant Hugo smile innocently.
It takes a tick to process that the baby, is in fact,

driving the truck through oncoming traffic.
AGENT COX (CONT'D)

Never mind. Move over.
She gets back behind the wheel and swerves back over the
median to the correct lane.
AGENT COX (CONT'D)
I hate Tokyo.
The truck races past a sign for the airport.
INT. SCORPION ISLAND - CONTROL ROOM - DAY
This is the same control room where we first met Savage,

but updated, more 21st century.
The Jackal is silhouetted by a two story image of Tanaka

on the floor to ceiling screen.
THE JACKAL
You've disappointed me, Tanaka.
Tanaka's face is replaced by a grid of images from

London, Paris, Rome, New York, Los Angeles, Tokyo --
every major city around the world.
A MYSTERIOUS MAN enters the control room, obscured by

shadows.
THE JACKAL
(to mysterious man)
They escaped Tanaka. He thinks
they are on their way to the
Bahamas. We must accelerate. The
components must be moved tonight.
MYSTERIOUS MAN
Savage is no threat.
THE JACKAL
You're right, but he's working
with The Agency now, and while he
might not be able to find his ass
with both hands, the agent he's
working with can.
The man steps out of the shadows -- it's Drake Develin!
DEVELIN
She's not that good.
Infuriated, The Jackal turns around and reveals his true

face -- it's EVIL HUGO!
EVIL HUGO
You're getting sloppy! Your
carelessness may cost us
everything.
DEVELIN
Watch your tone! Or have you
forgotten who it was who saved
your life?
EXT. OUTER SPACE - SATELLITE - FLASHBACK
Evil Hugo clings to a communications satellite. His

spacesuit is wired directly into the satellite's power
source. He's barely breathing and squints to see:
A WHITE MECHANICAL CLAW REACHING FOR HIM
DEVELIN (V.O.)
You were barely alive.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY - FLASHBACK
Evil Hugo looks much better. Develin, especially dashing

in a suit and tie, is sitting next to his bed.
DEVELIN (V.O.)
Betrayed, lost. I gave you
purpose.
He hands Evil Hugo a stack of pictures and dossiers on

the major figures of the N.E.M.E.S.I.S. Brotherhood. On
top is Professor Savage.
DEVELIN (V.O.)
Revenge.
Evil Hugo sees this and smiles insidiously.
INT. SCORPION ISLAND - CONTROL ROOM - SAME
EVIL HUGO
You did save my life, but I gave
you yours.
EXT. AGENCY HQ - AWARDS CEREMONY - DAY - FLASHBACK

Flashbulbs pop as Develin is handed medals by several
foreign heads of state. He smiles proudly.
EVIL HUGO (V.O.)

I helped you foil every two-bit
evil plot those pathetic idiots
at N.E.M.E.S.I.S. could muster
up.
The audience applauds wildly. Evil Hugo sits, sporting A

THICK BEARD, SUNGLASSES AND A TURBAN.
EVIL HUGO (V.O.)

I made you a star.
INT. DRAB APARTMENT - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Develin and Evil Hugo sit on a dingy sofa in a sad

little apartment, watching a television with rabbit ears
and eating tuna out of the can.
EVIL HUGO (V.O.)

You grew tired of the banal life
of a government employee.
Infuriated, Develin throws the can at a stack of

trophies and awards piled up in the corner. He storms
off.
The television screen flashes with the headline of an

UNNATURAL COLD SNAP IN MIAMI.
EVIL HUGO (V.O.)

I devised a very precise plan to
give us both everything we
wanted.
INT. SCORPION ISLAND - DOCK - DAY - FLASHBACK
Professor Savage and Hugo hand the keys to the island

over to the new tenant -- Evil Hugo, disguised in a
thick beard, sunglasses and a turban.
EVIL HUGO (V.O.)

I would exact the ultimate
revenge on Professor Mortimer
Savage.
INT. SCORPION ISLAND - MAINFRAME - DAY - FLASHBACK
Evil Hugo and Develin fire up the mainframe computer and

call up data charts on all of Savage's greatest
inventions... SPACE LASERS, WEATHER MACHINES, HEAT
RAYS.... and GIANT ROBOTS.
EVIL HUGO (V.O.)

And in the process, make you rich
beyond your wildest dreams.
EVIL HUGO
You're putting that plan in
jeopardy, Develin.
Develin bites his tongue and keeps his cool.
DEVELIN
Why are you talking to me like a
henchman? We're partners.
EVIL HUGO
You're right. I'm sorry.
DEVELIN
Thank you. Now what is it you
want me to do?
EVIL HUGO
Capture the agent. We must know
how much she has discovered.
DEVELIN
And Savage?
EVIL HUGO
Leave him to me. And by this time
next week, we'll be the richest
men on the planet.
The pair laugh diabolically.
EXT. AERIAL ON SCORPION ISLAND - SAME
Their MANIACAL LAUGHTER echoes through every corner of

the former volcanic lair of Professor Savage.
INT. HYPERSONIC JET - NIGHT
Savage and Infant Hugo are snuggled in with each other.

Cox smiles as she buckles into her seat.
AGENT COX
You're something else, Savage.
She puts on her sleep mask and drifts off to dreamland.
Infant Hugo fusses. A groggy Savage stumbles out of his

seat and places Hugo in the overhead compartment and
then goes back to sleep.
INT. HYPERSONIC JET - MORNING
Bright sunlight streams in through the windows -- blue

skies as far as the eye can see.
CAPTAIN (V.O.)
We'll be landing shortly, please
prepare the cabin and cross-
check.
Agent Cox stirs, a pungent aroma crosses her nostrils.
AGENT COX
What's that smell?
CHILD HUGO (O.S.)

Hugo got airsick twice!
She rips off the sleep mask to find Infant Hugo has
grown into CHILD HUGO (8-10) and he's sitting next her.
Child Hugo smiles, revealing his missing two front

teeth.
AGENT COX
How nice for you.
(to Savage)
He talks now?
SAVAGE
What can I say, Agent Cox? Our
baby is growing up.
AGENT COX
Ughh, I think my tubes just tied
themselves.
She glances over at Child Hugo, who is scribbling down a

series of complex mathematical equations on a scrap of
paper. Cox snatches it away from him.
CHILD HUGO
Agent Cox stole Hugo's proof for
Fermat's last theorem!
AGENT COX
Cool it, Rainman.
The boy starts kicking and crying.
SAVAGE
Agent Cox, is this what good guys
do?
She rolls her eyes and hands it back. Child Hugo

snatches it away and changes seats.
AGENT COX
When did he become a genius?
SAVAGE
I told you I had to use some of
my own genetic material -- I
guess he got the good stuff, so
to speak.
AGENT COX
So if he's a genius, why does he
keep referring to himself in the
third-person?
SAVAGE
He thinks it's funny. Kinda like
the way I spoke Klingon during my
first two years at MIT. I can
tell him to stop if it bothers
you.
Child Hugo begins giggling in the back of the plane.
CHILD HUGO
Hugo believe he has just
disproved the Stern-Vasto
conjecture!
SAVAGE
Oooo, fascinating.
Savage heads back to sit with Hugo.
AGENT COX
I'm heading to the Bahamas on the
trail of the most dangerous man
in the world with a pair of
Mathletes. I'm a dead woman.
Savage and Child Hugo begin laughing and high-five one

another.
SAVAGE
Awesome ellipse, man!
INT. AIRPORT GRAND BAHAMAS - DAY
The hypersonic plane taxis into a private hanger. The

door opens and Savage, Cox and Child Hugo disembark.
AGENT COX
This must be our contact.
A scruffy looking beach-bum with a neck brace and eye-

patch, waits for them.
He instantly recognizes Savage.
STEELE
You!
AGENT COX
You know him?
SAVAGE
No.
STEELE
He tried to kill me.
SAVAGE
I try to kill a lot of people.
STEELE
Well, with me you almost
succeeded.
Savage takes a closer look -- it's Rex Steele!
SAVAGE
Steele?
AGENT COX
So you did try to kill him?
SAVAGE
No, not in the strictest sense. I
merely dropped him in a pit with
alligators and snakes that I
stopped feeding a week prior to
his arrival.
STEELE
I lived in that pit for six weeks
with two broken legs, surviving
on nothing but alligator urine
and snake meat. I formed a bond
with those animals. I became
their leader. Eventually, I
trained them to form a reptilian
ladder and I dragged myself out.
AGENT COX
That's insane.
SAVAGE
Why didn't you just use the
escape hatch? It was clearly
marked.
STEELE
I thought it was a trap.
SAVAGE
As opposed to the alligator and
snake infested pit?
STEELE
I was living on 'gator pee, man!
I was trippin' so bad by the
third week I thought I was in a
Bollywood musical.
(to Cox)
You know I can't become aroused
by a woman unless her skin is
very, very dry? I did unspeakable
things to train those alligators.
AGENT COX
I need you to pull it together,
Steele.
STEELE
Unspeakable!!
AGENT COX
What's it going to take to get
you past this?
STEELE
I'd like my reputation back. You
know they call me "Captain
Crocodile" back at HQ, even
though I keep telling them they
were alligators! I'd like to get
out of this island hell-hole and
back to the big show.
He points at Savage.
STEELE (CONT'D)
But mostly, I'd like to kick him
in the nuts so hard that his nose
bleeds.
Cox looks at Savage and shrugs.
AGENT COX
Get it over with.
SAVAGE
Surely you're joking.
(beat)
What's that going to--
Without warning, Steele kicks a field goal into Savage's

crotch that sends him tumbling to the ground in agony.
This enrages Child Hugo, who retorts and kicks Steele.
The two men writhe on the ground.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
I threw up a little in my mouth.
STEELE
Everything smells purple.
SAVAGE
Ugh, didn't Houdini die this way?
Cox is completely frustrated.
AGENT COX
Are you guys even now?
STEELE
(pointing at Hugo)
I want a shot at that kid too.
Child Hugo clings to Agent Cox.
AGENT COX
That's not going to happen. Did
you look into that address, Agent
Steele?
Steele gets back to his feet.
STEELE
Yeah, they're in town.
Savage is still on the ground.
AGENT COX
I want to check them out. Now.
Savage gets to his feet.
EXT. PARKING LOT - continuous
Steele leads them to a van covered in graffiti and rust.
AGENT COX
Where's your company car?
STEELE
Thats it. Why?
AGENT COX
No reason. They call you Captain
Crocodile, huh?
He whips out a coat hanger and jimmies the lock.
STEELE
Yeah, can you believe it?
They all climb in. The van whimpers to life and they
putter away.
EXT. MAIN STREET - CARNIVAL - NIGHT
Dancers, costumes, revelry, pagan symbols... the island

Carnival celebration is in full swing.
Savage, Cox, Steele and Child Hugo weave through the

riotous crowd trying to get close to the parade floats.
SAVAGE
How festive.
AGENT COX
Steele and I are going to check
out the address on the invoices.
SAVAGE
What about us? We're ready for
our next secret agent adventure.
AGENT COX
You and baby Huey are going to
the hotel and laying low. After
what happened in Tokyo, two
things are for sure. One, the
Jackal knows we're onto him.
SAVAGE
And two?
AGENT COX
You're completely useless in a
fight.
STEELE
Oh, snap.
AGENT COX
Shut up, Steele.
Savage and Child Hugo look concerned.
AGENT COX (CONT'D)

If we find anything, I'll call.
She holds up her Kindle 5G. Savage pulls his out too and
checks to make sure it has GPS signal.
SAVAGE
(to Steele)
See you later, alligator.
Steele sneers.
EXT. PARADE ROUTE - LATER
Several scantily clad dancers seductively gyrate past

Savage and Child Hugo. He looks flushed and sweaty.
SAVAGE
The hotel is just up here.
CHILD HUGO
Hugo feel funny.
SAVAGE
What's wrong?
Child Hugo drops to his knees, doubling over.
CHILD HUGO
(voice cracking)
What is happening to Hugo?
He looks at Savage -- he's now TEENAGE HUGO (15). He's

grown almost a foot, he has a few patches of facial hair
and a bad case of acne.
SAVAGE
My god, you weren't supposed to
go through puberty until at least
11:30.
TEENAGE HUGO
Hugo feel strong cravings for
chocolate and fried foods.
A few more ladies go by.
TEENAGE HUGO (CONT'D)

And an intense desire to mate.
(to the ladies)
You know what they say, once
you've had genetically
engineered, you'll always feel
weird.
They're repulsed and hurry away.
TEENAGE HUGO (CONT'D)

(to Savage)
Too much?
SAVAGE
We'll find you some french fries
and I'll tell you all about how I
got through my teenage years.
(beat)
Ever heard of a game called
Dungeons and Dragons?
TEENAGE HUGO
(intrigued)
No, is that some kind of Asian
S&M?
SAVAGE
Better!
EXT. PARADE ROUTE - LATER
Steele and Cox continue walking amongst the revelers.
Ahead, a pair of giant paper mache skeletons are carried

through the street. The scene is spooky, surreal.
Alongside them, people in skeleton costumes dance

around, throwing beads and flowers at the crowd.
As the eerie spectacle passes by, Cox sees Develin

standing on the other side of the street.
She rushes across to find him gone. Steele catches up.
STEELE
What is it?
AGENT COX
I thought I saw--
She spots him rounding the corner.
AGENT COX (CONT'D)

Drake!
Cox pushes her way through the crowd.

STEELE
Drake? Drake Develin? Wait for
me!
Steele tries to follow, but gets hung up and lags

behind.
Cox rounds the corner.
Develin is waiting. He flashes his disarming smile.
AGENT COX
Is it really you?
DEVELIN
Last time I checked.
She runs up and hugs him.
DEVELIN (CONT'D)
I missed you.
AGENT COX
I missed you too, so much.
Tears pool in her eyes.
AGENT COX (CONT'D)

I watched you die.
DEVELIN
None of that matters.
Develin places a finger on her lips.
PARADE ROUTE
Steele is still trying to push his way though the crowd.
SIDE STREET
DEVELIN (CONT'D)
Where is Savage?
AGENT COX
How did you know I was with--
Before she finishes her sentence, he embraces her and

they kiss deeply. He runs his hands over her body. He
finds her cellphone and gun, and snatches them both.
He pulls back and points the gun at her.
AGENT COX (CONT'D)

What are you doing, Drake?
DEVELIN
I told you I wanted a short
engagement, Alicia.
He smiles deviously.
AGENT COX
I can't believe I mourned you.
She spits in his face.
DEVELIN
Don't worry, when I'm done, I
promise to return the favor. Now
move it!
He leads her down the street at gunpoint.
PARADE ROUTE
Steele finally makes it down the street and rounds the

corner to find;
SIDE STREET
Agent Cox and Develin are gone.
INT. HOTEL RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Savage is dumbfounded as he watches Teenage Hugo devour

plate after plate of food. It's almost as though he's
not chewing, but simply swallowing like a duck.
SAVAGE
Did I give you a second stomach?
Teenage Hugo doesn't even look up from the plate.
Steele bursts in, winded...
STEELE
I've been looking everywhere
for--
(re: Hugo)
What happened to him?
Hugo cleans his last plate and lets out a big burp.
SAVAGE
Puberty.
STEELE
Bummer, dude.
Teenage Hugo shrugs.
SAVAGE
Where's Cox?
STEELE
Cox and I got separated. Have you
heard from her?
Savage whips out the phone.
SAVAGE
No, but there is a GPS link
between our phones.
Savage fires up the phone and displays Cox's position.
STEELE
Looks like she's heading to the
docks.
SAVAGE
Why would she be going to the
docks?
STEELE
She thought she saw Drake Develin
and was chasing after him when
she disappeared.
SAVAGE
Develin? Let's go.
EXT. DOCKS - CARGO SHIP - DAWN
Lao Chi crates are loaded onto the ship by robots.
Develin leads Cox aboard at gunpoint.

INT. CARGO SHIP - BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS
Cox is bound and gagged. She struggles against her

restraints. Develin shoves her into a seat.
Develin removes the SIM card from Cox's Kindle 5G and

plugs it into his laptop. Data from the chip compiles.
Develin whips out his phone.
DEVELIN
(into his phone)
Savage's GPS coordinates are
coming through now.
INT. SCORPION ISLAND - CONTROL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
GPS data fills the giant screen.
Evil Hugo brings up a satellite image of Steele's van

racing toward the docks. He isolates the GPS tracking
signal on Savage's Kindle 5G and locks onto it.
EVIL HUGO
I've used her GPS link to lock
onto to Savage. Get moving.
(beat)
It looks like rain.
Savage engages the weather program.
INT. CARGO SHIP - BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS
DEVELIN
(into his phone)
Roger that.
EXT. DOCKS - SAME
Steele, Cox and Teenage Hugo make it just in time to see

the Cargo ship get underway.
Savage checks his phone.
SAVAGE
She's on that boat.
EXT. CARGO SHIP - SAME
The cargo ship's escape is concealed by a mysterious

fog.
Overhead, the clear skies fill with heavy grey clouds.
The wind picks up intensity. It is gale force in a

matter of seconds. The picturesque seas churn furiously.
EXT. DOCK - CONTINUOUS
Overhead, the clouds crackle with ominous green

electricity. Savage looks panicked.
SAVAGE
We've got to get out of here.
STEELE
What about Cox?
SAVAGE
We've got bigger problems.
STEELE
We can't just--
SAVAGE
They're using my weather machine.
STORM FRONT
In a matter of seconds, three pillars of wind and water

1000 feet wide rise up and move toward the harbor with
unnatural speed and precision.
HARBOR
The island storm WARNING ALARMS wail in the distance.
As the cyclones draw closer, docks sway and rattle.

Large fishing boats and yachts pull wildly against their
sea moorings. One-by-one they are sucked out toward...
CYCLONE
The three pillars come together into one super-sized

funnel, enveloping fishing boats, sailboats, yachts and
all manner of marine life.
It enters the harbor and lurches toward...
DOCK
Savage, Hugo and Steele are in awe of the raw biblical

destructive power at work before them.
STEELE
What do we do?
TEENAGE HUGO
Hugo terrified beyond the point
of rational thought.
SAVAGE
Drive.
The trio takes off down the dock and towards the van.
EXT. VAN - CONTINUOUS
Steele fumbles to get the van unlocked with the coat

hanger -- his hands are trembling with fear.
SAVAGE
How could I get stuck with the
one agent on the planet whose
company car is a complete POS!?
Savage smashes the window with this cane.
STEELE
You're gonna pay for that!
Teenage Hugo looks back in terror at the cyclone closing

in.
TEENAGE HUGO
Must drive. Must drive now.
INT. VAN - CONTINUOUS
Steele is behind the wheel. Savage is shotgun and Hugo

is on the back bench seat.
Steele cranks it and the van sputters to life. He guns

the engine and the trio peel off to:
EXT. COSTAL HIGHWAY - SAME
The van races along the highway with the cyclone

following, leaving a trail of destruction in its wake.
The back of the van lifts off the ground and fishtails
as the winds buffets it along the road.
Evil Hugo watches the real-time satellite video of the

Cyclone engulfing the van.
EVIL HUGO
Goodbye, Professor Savage.
INT. VAN - CONTINUOUS
Steele looks terrified as both his mirrors are sucked

off the van and fly backward toward the vortex.
STEELE
You invented the damn thing. How
do we stop it?
SAVAGE
I don't know!
Suddenly the back doors are ripped off the van and
everything is sucked out. Teenage Hugo's seat rattles
and shakes in the wind. One-by-one, the bolts pop out.
The whole bench seat flies backward and gets stuck in

the back doorway. The upholstery and seat stuffing are
sucked off the frame.
Teenage Hugo reaches out, straining against his seat

belt.
TEENAGE HUGO
Help me!
SAVAGE
I'm coming!
Savage wraps his seat belt around his wrist and climbs
back. He extends a hand, but can't reach Teenage Hugo.
The bench seat buckles under the stress.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
Undo your belt and grab my stick.
TEENAGE HUGO
At some other time, Hugo wish to
discuss the homoerotic subtext of
our relationship.
SAVAGE
Grow up!
He extends his cane back to Teenage Hugo.
Teenage Hugo's eyes fill with fear.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
Trust me.
Teenage Hugo grabs the cane and releases his seat belt.
Seconds later, the bench collapses and is sucked out.
Teenage Hugo is completely horizontal, hanging on with

both hands as Savage strains to pull him up with one
arm.
OUTSIDE THE VAN
The van is at the edge of the swirling vortex.
A large piece of debris strikes the side of the vehicle.

The van careens wildly.
INSIDE THE VAN
Savage is tossed around and loses his grip. Teenage Hugo

is sucked backward with the cane in hand.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
No!!!
The cane wedges horizontally in the doorway and Teenage

Hugo hangs on with one hand, his body flailing in the
wind. Behind him, the fury of the cyclone.
Savage wraps the seat belt around his leg and dives
backward, desperately reaching for Teenage Hugo.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
I'm not letting you go.
He almost has him, when his Kindle 5G flies out of his

pocket. Teenage Hugo catches it in his free hand.
Savage's eyes flash with the realization...
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
No! Throw it!! They're using its
GPS to track us.
Steele calls back to him.
STEELE
We'll lose Cox!
SAVAGE
We'll die!
(to Hugo)
Throw it!
Hugo whips the Kindle 5G into the vortex behind him.
VORTEX
A shark swirling in mid-air snaps up the Kindle 5G in

his mouth and whizzes off into the storm.
Evil Hugo watches as the GPS signal goes dead.
EVIL HUGO
Now onto the rest of the world.
He powers down the machine.
INT. VAN - SAME
The storm rapidly dissipates and Savage is able to pull

Teenage Hugo into the van. Within seconds, blue skies
return and it appears that our heroes are out of danger.
STEELE
Looks like we're in the clear.
No sooner do the words leave his mouth then a boat falls

from the sky directly in front of them.
Steele slams on the breaks and stops with an inch to
spare.
STEELE (CONT'D)
Well, that was close.
The rusty van completely falls to pieces. Savage, Steele

and Teenage Hugo sit on nothing but the bare frame.
STEELE (CONT'D)
Anybody got a phone?
Savage grimaces.
INT. SCORPION ISLAND - CONTROL ROOM - DAY
Evil Hugo sits quietly in the "big chair" watching the

various monitors covering cities around the world.
Develin enters with Agent Cox at gunpoint.
EVIL HUGO
Welcome, Agent Cox.
AGENT COX
First Develin and now you. The
dead seem to be rising from the
grave in these parts.
EVIL HUGO
Don't you read the bible? That's
what happens before Armageddon.
AGENT COX
(to Develin)
Is this what you signed up for
Drake? The end of the world?
DEVELIN
I signed up for money. A lot of
it. Now why don't you tell us
what you know about our plans.
AGENT COX
I know he's insane and Savage had
the right idea when he flushed
him out into space.
EVIL HUGO
Savage is dead. You will be too
if you don't start cooperating.
AGENT COX
What are you doing, Drake? Don't
you see what he is? He doesn't
want money. He just wants to
destroy the world. Don't believe
me, ask him what he was doing
aboard the space station before
Savage let him go?
She's getting to Develin -- the gears are turning.
Evil Hugo draws a gun and points it at Cox.
EVIL HUGO
Stop this foolishness.
AGENT COX
Ask him, Drake.
Develin steps in front of the gun.
DEVELIN
Well?
EVIL HUGO
Well played, Agent Cox.
Evil Hugo presses a button on the console and Develin

falls screaming into the alligator and snake pit.
EVIL HUGO (CONT'D)

I hated that arrogant, gin-
soaked, wind bag more than
Savage!
AGENT COX
What kind of evil genius are you?
EVIL HUGO
Oh, I'm no evil genius, Agent
Cox. That's why I had to steal
all of Savage's inventions. No,
I'm just your run of the mill
homicidal maniac.
AGENT COX
Then you really are insane.
Evil Hugo gets in her face.
EVIL HUGO
They think me mad, but I'm
demonic. I am madness maddened.
The wild madness that's only calm
to comprehend itself!
AGENT COX
Moby Dick.
Evil Hugo smiles, pleasantly surprised.
EVIL HUGO
Say, what are you doing for
dinner? The robots make a decent
frozen pizza and we could watch
the end of the world on TiVo.
The robot henchmen seize her.
EVIL HUGO (CONT'D)

Until the end of the world, then.
Cox is pulled away, kicking and screaming.
EVIL HUGO (CONT'D)

On to business.
EXT. COSTAL HIGHWAY - DAY
Savage, Steele and Teenage Hugo huff it to the pay

phone. Steele makes a call. Savage and Hugo marvel at
the devastation.
SAVAGE
I've never been on this side of
it. It's horrifying.
Boats, cars and hundreds of dead fish litter the

highway.
Steele hangs up the phone. He's panicked.
STEELE
We've been recalled. All agents
are to report back immediately.
SAVAGE
Recalled? What about Cox?
STEELE
She's on her own for the moment.
SAVAGE
What do you mean? What's
happening?
STEELE
Something big.
EXT. CENTER OF TIMES SQUARE - NIGHT
Tourists snap pictures and gawk at the electric

crossroads of Times Square. Bright as day, even at
night.
Suddenly, the lights all flicker out. The video screens

go dark. Even the cars stall out. An eerie silence
sweeps over the heart of the city that never sleeps.
A sharp red light shines down on the Times Square Tower.

It intensifies and then a massive red laser pulse turns
the tower into a thirty-story column of fire.
People run from the blaze in terror.
EXT. HOLLYWOOD SIGN - SAME
Each letter in the sign is smashed and GIANT SILVER

ROBOTS takes their place.
Before them, the city of Los Angeles...
EXT. BUCKINGHAM PALACE - SAME
DELORES and MURRAY WEINSTEIN, a pair of average American

retirees on holiday, admire the statue-like GUARDS at
Buckingham Palace. Alert. Steady. Unflappable.
Murray starts hula dancing and shaking his rump for the
guards, reinforcing the idea that Americans are idiots.
Ominous grey clouds roll in overhead and the wind picks

up, but Murray keeps dancing.
Murray hits his big finish, drops to one knee and

spreads his arms wide. Suddenly, the two guards take off
running.
Elated, Murray turns to Delores.
MURRAY
Did you see that!! Delores!!!
Screaming, she's pulled skyward by a tornado. He clings

to the gate, as the palace is pummeled by gale force
wind.
EXT. TAPEI STREET - SAME
A STREET VENDOR hands change to a customer, behind him

the TAPEI 101 -- tallest building in the world.
The ground begins to shake violently. The vendor looks

to the building, which sways wildly.
EXT. TAPEI 101 - CONTINUOUS
The windows blow out of floor after floor of the giant

building as it continues to sway. Finally, the stress is
too much and it snaps like a twig.
The top twenty floors drop like an arrow back to earth

and shatter onto the street below.
INT. HYPERSONIC JET - DAY
Savage and Teenage Hugo sit next to one another. Savage

stares out the window. Quiet. Contemplative.
TEENAGE HUGO
Why do I have to be a henchman?
SAVAGE
Well, you don't have to be a
henchman. You could be a minion,
a toady, in fact. I know a lot of
guys that do very well as
professional lackeys.
TEENAGE HUGO
What if Hugo want to change
professions altogether?
SAVAGE
There are the various city and
state certifications, paperwork--
TEENAGE HUGO
Maybe Hugo not want to be evil.
Hugo want to be good.
SAVAGE
Of course, why would my
genetically engineered evil
henchman actually want to be
evil, or a henchmen? That makes
no sense. It would mean I
actually succeeded at something.
TEENAGE HUGO
Hugo didn't mean it that way.
SAVAGE
We can't change what we are.
Savage stands and storms off to the back of the plane.
INT. U.N. SECURITY COUNSEL CHAMBERS - DAY
The world's senior leaders are panicked and arguing with

one another as the giant screen flickers to life.
The Jackal's silhouette appears -- dark, ominous.
EVIL HUGO
I had a vision. What would happen
if instead of holding one city
hostage with a particular form of
mechanized death, I unleashed a
barrage of technological terrors
onto the cities of the earth all
at once? Gentleman, your day of
judgement is at hand.
US AMBASSADOR
What do you want?
EVIL HUGO
Money.
US AMBASSADOR
Yes, how much do you want?
EVIL HUGO
Power.
US AMBASSADOR
Pardon?
EVIL HUGO
I can have anything I want,
right?
US AMBASSADOR
Anything! What do you want?
EVIL HUGO
I want to see you all die,
horribly.
The screen flickers black. The room erupts in chaos.
INT. PRIVATE HANGER - NIGHT
The hypersonic jet wheels into the hanger.
Savage, Teenage Hugo and Steele get off the plane.
Waiting for them are several official looking vehicles

and a few dozen agents.
Teenage Hugo and Steele walk towards the trucks, Savage

stops.
STEELE
What's wrong?
SAVAGE
I'm going home.
STEELE
What do you mean? What about
Agent Cox?
SAVAGE
What about her? I don't know
where she is, and even if I did,
I couldn't help her.
STEELE
So you're just giving up and
letting The Jackal win?
SAVAGE
Letting him win? You really are
dense. He's won! He's better than
I am. You guys pay him his ransom
or whatever. It's not my problem.
I'm going home.
He turns to Teenage Hugo.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
Let's go.
Teenage Hugo considers it for a moment.
TEENAGE HUGO
No. I'm going with Agent Steele.
Hugo want to save the world.
SAVAGE
Look, let's talk about this back
in the basement.
TEENAGE HUGO
Hugo not going to run and hide in
Professor Savage's mother's
basement. Professor Savage is a
selfish coward. Congratulations,
Hugo think you're evil after all.
Steele, Teenage Hugo, and Savage go their separate ways.
INT. QUEENS BROWNSTONE - NIGHT
Selma is sitting on the couch watching television. She

mutes it as Savage walks through the door.
SELMA SAVAGE
You're back. I was worried, what
with this crazy Jackal on the
loose.
SAVAGE
I'm fine.
Selma's spider sense is tingling.
SELMA SAVAGE
What is it? What's wrong?
Savage plops down on the couch next to her.
SAVAGE
Over the past week, I've come to
realize something about myself.
SELMA SAVAGE
You're gay?
SAVAGE
What?
SELMA SAVAGE
What with you, Hugo and all those
robots. Not that there's anything
wrong with that.
SAVAGE
No, Mom. I'm not gay. And I'm
also not an evil genius. I think
I'm actually good.
SELMA SAVAGE
That's the big realization? Of
course you are.
SAVAGE
What do you mean? You're not
disappointed?
SELMA SAVAGE
Why would I be?
SAVAGE
Dad. All those stories. The
shrine!
SELMA SAVAGE
For a genius, you sure are dense.
It's true your father was evil,
but that's not why I loved him. I
loved him because he was also a
good father, loving husband and
great friend. I brought out those
traits in him, because I'm a good
person. Nobody is all good or all
bad, boychick.
She smiles widely.

And evil or not, he loved you.
And so do I. Now go be good, bad
or whatever, so long as you're
happy.
Savage gives the old gal a big hug.
SAVAGE
Thanks, Mom.
He looks at the television, it is riddled with images of

death and destruction from cities around the world.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
What's happening?
SELMA SAVAGE
That nutcase, The Jackal.
Savage turns up the volume as an ANCHORPERSON reports.
ANCHORPERSON
(on screen)
He has made no ultimatums. He has
asked for no ransom. It appears
that The Jackal simply wishes to
conduct a symphony of death from
the Pacific Rim to the cities of
Europe. And the governments of
the world seem powerless to stop
him.
SELMA SAVAGE
And my son is seeing a
psychiatrist!
Savage's eyes flash with realization -- eureka!
SAVAGE
A psychiatrist. Mom, that's it!
SELMA SAVAGE
What?
SAVAGE
I know how to find the The
Jackal.
He kisses his mother and leaves.

SELMA SAVAGE
Be careful. And take a coat!
INT. DR. GOLDBERG'S OFFICE - Day
MR. ICY KILL (35), an evil looking troll of a man,

wearing a bubble helmet and refrigeration suit, is
sprawled out on Goldberg's couch.
MR. ICY KILL

She says I'm being cold. What's
that supposed to mean?
Savage swings open the door just as Goldberg is about to

respond.
DR. GOLDBERG
Savage?
SAVAGE
Icy?
MR. ICY KILL

Whatever you heard, I don't have
intimacy issues.
Savage ignores him and starts searching around.
DR. GOLDBERG
Savage, what is the meaning of
this?
SAVAGE
(to himself)
Where is it? If he recorded my
session, there must be a
transmitter hidden somewhere
here.
DR. GOLDBERG
Where is what? Honestly, Dr.
Savage, this is not a good time.
SAVAGE
Doc, I have friends, I've felt
remorse for evil deeds and I'm
about to perform a selfless act.
DR. GOLDBERG
I'll write you a prescription.
Savage holds up his cane -- a laser scanning beam shoots

out of the top and zigzags around the room until it
zeros in on the bookshelf.
He removes a copy of Moby Dick and opens it to reveal a

sophisticated listening device.
SAVAGE
How do I get to the roof?
EXT. ROOFTOP - CONTINUOUS
Savage locates a small satellite dish and base station.

He opens the control panel and sees the transmission
coordinates. They are immediately familiar...
SAVAGE
Scorpion Island?
Savage looks at the copy of Moby Dick in his hand.
INT. SCORPION ISLAND - NURSERY - daY - FLASHBACK
Savage removes Moby Dick from the bookshelf...
INT. SPACE STATION - FLASHBACK
Evil Hugo looks defiantly at the earth below...
EVIL HUGO
If my chest were a cannon, I
would shoot my heart upon it!
INT. N.E.M.E.S.I.S. Headquarters - DAY - FLASHBACK
The faceless silhouette of The Jackal is replaced with

the face of Evil Hugo...
THE JACKAL
Is it not better to succeed in
imitation than fail in
originality?
EXT. STREET - TELEVISION - DAY - FLASHBACK

The faceless silhouette of the The Jackal is replaced
with the face of evil Hugo...
THE JACKAL
I am the Fates lieutenant; I act
under orders.
EXT. ScoRPION ISLAND - DOCK - DAY - FLASHBACK
Savage and Hugo shake hands with the new tenant. His
beard, turban and sunglasses disappear to reveal Evil
Hugo.
EXT. ROOF TOP - SAME
Savage has put together all the pieces.
SAVAGE
How could I have been so blind?
DR. GOLDBERG
What is it?
SAVAGE
The most dangerous man in the
world is the most dangerous man
in the world.
EXT. U.N. HEADQUARTERS - DAY
Savage steps out of a cab. Teenage Hugo and Steele are

waiting for him in front.
SAVAGE
Thank you for coming. I want to
apologize for what I did in the
hangar yesterday.
STEELE
You were right, though. Nobody
believes in us. We're largely
incompetent, and the bad guys
hold all the cards. We're done.
SAVAGE
That's not true.
TEENAGE HUGO
Which part?
SAVAGE
Agent Cox believes in us. She
needs us. I'm morally conflicted,
but hardly incompetent. And
before Captain Crocodile popped
his spring, he had the makings of
a pretty descent agent.
STEELE
I did?
SAVAGE
Yes. And if I was in the market
for a new arch nemesis, I would
have been happy if it was you.
STEELE
I don't know what to say.
SAVAGE
Say you'll help me save the
world.
STEELE
I'm in.
Savage turns to Teenage Hugo.
SAVAGE
And what about you? I can't do it
without you.
TEENAGE Hugo
Without a henchman, you mean?
SAVAGE
Evil geniuses have henchman. A
hero needs a partner.
Teenage Hugo smiles.
TEENAGE HUGO
All right, Hugo save the world.
SAVAGE
Good. I have a plan.
Savage lays out his plan as the trio walks inside.
INT. U.N. SECURITY COUNCIL CHAMBERS - CONTINUOUS
The doors swing open to reveal a determined Savage,

flanked by Steele and Teenage Hugo.
SAVAGE
Wow, it's a lot bigger than it
looks on closed circuit
television.
They are immediately confronted by none other than

Justin Gimbleblatt.
JUSTIN GIMBLEBLATT
Okay kids, let's take the field
trip outside.
SAVAGE
I've never been one for physical
confrontation. Mr. Steele, if you
please.
Steele kicks a field goal into Justin's nuts.
JUSTIN GIMBLEBLATT
(writhing in pain)
Oh, sweet Caroline!
He doubles over and rolls around on the floor. The trio

proceeds down to the US Ambassador.
US AMBASSADOR
What is the meaning of this?
SAVAGE
I'd like to speak with The
Jackal.
US AMBASSADOR
And what will that accomplish?
SAVAGE
Please let me try.
The Ambassador activates the screen. The Jackal appears.
US AMBASSADOR
There is someone here who wishes
to speak to you.
SAVAGE
Hello, Hugo.
Evil Hugo moves into the light, revealing his face for
the first time to the world. They gasp at the reveal.
EVIL HUGO
You're still alive, my old
friend. A situation I can swiftly
remedy.
SAVAGE
I'd like to see you face-to-face.
EVIL HUGO
Why?
Savage holds up a copy of Moby Dick and opens it to a

specific passage.
SAVAGE
(reading aloud)
Our souls are like those orphans
whose unwedded mothers die in
bearing them: the secret of our
paternity lies in their grave,
and we must there to learn it.
EVIL HUGO
You know there is nothing you can
do to stop me. I've beaten you.
SAVAGE
You have. So why not look into my
eyes for one last time and hear
me say it to your face?
EVIL HUGO
Be out on the roof in ten
minutes. Come alone, and no
tricks, Savage.
The screen flickers black.
Savage nods and proceeds out with Steele and Teenage

Hugo.
US AMBASSADOR
Godspeed, Professor Savage.
EXT. U.N. ROOF TOP - CONTINUOUS
Savage steps out onto the roof with Steele and Teenage
Hugo. An ultra-sleek aircraft that looks like a cross
between a helicopter and an X-wing fighter lands. The
doors open as several robots march out to meet Savage.
STEELE
Take this.
Steele pulls out his gun and hands it to Savage.
Savage waives it off.
SAVAGE
Not my style.
Teenage Hugo looks at him pensively.
TEENAGE HUGO
I'm sorry for what I said.
SAVAGE
Me too.
Teenage Hugo gives him a hug.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
Stick to the plan.
The robots take hold of Savage and take him aboard. The
aircraft's engines ignite and it effortlessly whizzes
off into the sky.
STEELE
Clock is ticking, kid. Let's
move.
The pair take off running.
EXT. SCORPION ISLAND - VOLCANO - DAY
The ultra-sleek aircraft swoops in over the island and

descends into the caldera of the volcano.
INT. LANDING PLATFORM - CONTINUOUS
The craft lands and Savage is escorted out by the

robots. Savage twists the top of cane and simultaneously
the robots all go limp.
SAVAGE
Don't let me down, Steele.
INT. SCORPION ISLAND - CONTROL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Savage enters. On the video screens -- death,

destruction, chaos. Evil Hugo stands defiant, revelling
in what he has done.
Agent Cox is in a chair, bound, gagged and forced to

watch the end of the world with this monster.
EVIL HUGO
Isn't it magnificent?
SAVAGE
Quite.
EVIL HUGO
Why did you come here, Mortimer?
There is no way to stop me. You
should be spending these last
precious hours with your mother.
SAVAGE
Who says I want to stop you?
EVIL HUGO
Reverse psychology, Professor
Savage? Isn't that just a bit
immature?
SAVAGE
I'm here to thank you.
EVIL HUGO
Thank me?
Evil Hugo turns around, intrigued.
INT. SNAKE AND ALLIGATOR PIT - SAME

The emergency escape hatch to the pit opens. Steele and
Teenage Hugo climb in carefully.
STEELE
Daddy's home, babies.
They find a wild-eyed Develin, hiding in the corner.
DEVELIN
Steele? Is it really you?
STEELE
Why didn't you use the escape
hatch?
DEVELIN
I thought it was booby trapped.
The alligators snap and hiss at Develin.
STEELE
What are you doing with my
babies?
The gators all waddle over to Steele and all roll over
on their backs exposing their bellies to him. He gets on
his back and rolls around with them lovingly.
DEVELIN
Your babies? Steele, you didn't.
STEELE
I'd rather not talk about it.
What are you doing here?
DEVELIN
That psychopath put me down here.
He's going to destroy the world.
We have to stop him.
STEELE
That's why we're here. We've got
a plan.
Steele gets to his feet and snaps his fingers and the
gators all roll over and stand at attention.
STEELE (CONT'D)
All right, boys. Let's go to
work.
Savage and Evil Hugo circle one another.
EVIL HUGO
Why thank me?
SAVAGE
I was feeling low. Very low. Like
a total failure as an evil genius
and then, when I realized you
were behind all of this, I
rejoiced.
EVIL HUGO
Rejoiced?
SAVAGE
Yes, because my greatest evil
invention was you, Hugo. And
you've worked perfectly.
Evil Hugo struggles to keep his cool.
EVIL HUGO
No.
SAVAGE
Yes, you have. Don't you see?
You've made me the greatest evil
genius of all time!
EVIL HUGO
No!
It's working. Savage is clearly getting to him.
EVIL HUGO (CONT'D)

This was my plan.
SAVAGE
Come now, you're a fantastic evil
henchman, but Hugo, you're just a
henchman. I mean, I created you.
I created all the inventions that
you're using to destroy the
world. You have validated my
entire life's work. I'm sure I'll
be reinstated in the Brotherhood
and will undoubtedly be nominated
for the Karl Rove Evil Genius of
the Year award for this!
EVIL HUGO
No!
SAVAGE
Yes! We should celebrate.
Evil Hugo is about to explode in rage.
INT. SNAKE AND ALLIGATOR PIT - SAME
One by one, the alligators climb up each other and form

a reptilian ladder under the direction of Steele.
It is the most amazing and bizarre sight either Teenage

Hugo or Develin has ever beheld.
Just as the trio is about to climb up to the trap door,

Teenage Hugo doubles over, writhing in agony.
STEELE
Hugo?
DEVELIN
Come on, we'll come back for him.
Evil Hugo is ready to explode. Savage is calm and

collected.
SAVAGE
They'll probably revoke The
Jackal's membership, but I'll
sneak you into the award ceremony
as my guest. Of course, you'll
have to sit at the henchmen's
table.
That's the straw that breaks the camel's back.
EVIL HUGO
I've attacked you with giant
robots, sent ninja assassins,
even created a typhoon.
SAVAGE
And you should ask yourself why
you keep failing. What is your
subconscious trying to tell you?
EVIL HUGO
That I want to ring the life out
of you with my own hands!
Evil Hugo grabs Savage and hurls him across the room
into the control panel, which explodes spectacularly.
Savage drops to the floor, clearly hurt.
EVIL HUGO (CONT'D)

I'm really going to enjoy this.
Behind Evil Hugo, the trap door slides open.
Steele and Develin peek their heads up. They see Evil
Hugo going after Savage. Agent Cox sees them and
struggles.
They climb up undetected and sneak over to Agent Cox and

untie her. Steele undoes her hands and Develin pulls out
her gag.
DEVELIN
About before--
As soon as Agent Cox's hands are free she wallops

Develin and he reels backward and falls back into the
pit screaming.
AGENT COX
The engagement is off.
CONTROL CONSOLE
Evil Hugo is about to pick up Savage when he hears

Develin's scream and turns around to see Steele and Cox.
EVIL HUGO
Clever girl.
Just then, Savage jumps on his back, choking him with

the cane. The pair spins around grappling with each
other.
THE DOOR
Steele pulls Cox to the door -- she struggles to stay.
STEELE
He knows what he's doing. We've
got to get to the plane.
AGENT COX
We can't just leave him.
STEELE
We have a plan.
Reluctantly, she agrees and the pair make a run for it.
BACK ON SAVAGE AND EVIL HUGO
EVIL HUGO
To the last, I grapple with thee!
Evil Hugo slams Savage mercilessly into a bank of

computers, which explode in a shower of sparks and smoke
on impact. Then another, and another.
All the monitors flash with malfunction warnings.
Savage collapses onto the floor. Evil Hugo picks him up

like a rag doll and slams him into the console. Again
with the same destructive effect.
Bloody and battered, Savage does the most unexpected

thing. He begins laughing. First a chuckle, and then
full blown hysterics.
EVIL HUGO (CONT'D)

What's so funny?
SAVAGE
I remember thinking this was an
odd place to put the self-
destruct button.
Savage rolls off the console on the floor to reveal the

depressed, flashing self-destruct button.
WARNING ALARMS blare and the whole facility starts to

shake and rumble.
INT. LANDING PLATFORM - SAME

The entire platform is coming apart. Cox and Steele just
make it to the aircraft as lava begins to bubble up
below and burn through the metal grating.
AGENT COX
We've got to go back.
STEELE
We've got to get this bird ready.
This platform is unstable.
AGENT COX
What about Savage?
STEELE
Savage is covered.
INT. scorpion island - CONTROL ROOM - SAME
The whole place is going up and Evil Hugo doesn't care.

He's completely focused on Savage who now lies helpless
and broken before him. This is the end of the road.
EVIL HUGO
From hell's heart, I stab at
thee.
Hugo picks up Savage's cane and breaks it in half. He

takes the sharp half and holds it above the broken
Savage, about to deliver the final blow.
As he thrusts it down, GOOD HUGO, now fully grown,

catches Evil Hugo's arm on the down stroke. Evil Hugo is
shocked by the sight of his identical clone.
GOOD HUGO
Hugo think you talk too much.
Good Hugo delivers a crushing blow, sending Evil Hugo

hurling backward and knocking him out cold.
GOOD HUGO (CONT'D)

Not so tough without a hundred
foot robot and a taxi cab, are
we?
Good Hugo rushes to Savage's side.
SAVAGE
Adulthood at 12:00 on the dot.
GOOD HUGO
What were you going to do if Hugo
didn't make it in time?
SAVAGE
Thought never crossed my mind,
old friend.
Good Hugo smiles and helps Savage to his feet.
INT. LANDING PLATFORM - SAME
Good Hugo and Savage make it to the landing platform.

The aircraft is hovering above the bubbling lava.
Carefully, it hovers over to Savage and Good Hugo.
EXT. AIRCRAFT - CONTINUOUS
Cox opens the belly door and signals to Savage and Good
Hugo.
AGENT COX
You're going to have to jump!
Good Hugo looks at Savage...
GOOD HUGO
You first.
Savage braces himself and jumps. He comes a little short

and dangles out of the aircraft over the bubbling lava.
ON THE PLATFORM
Someone comes up behind Good Hugo...
OUTSIDE THE AIRCRAFT
Cox struggles to pull him up. She almost has him, when
Evil Hugo jumps and grabs Savage. Cox loses her grip on
Savage and he slips out, clinging to the landing strut.
Evil Hugo desperately tries to climb up into the

aircraft, but Savage fights him back.
EVIL HUGO
For hate's sake, I spit my last
breath at thee!
SAVAGE
Would you just shut up already?
Savage elbows him in the face and Evil Hugo falls in the
lava and is vaporized instantly.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
Advantage: Savage.
Savage pulls himself back up and Cox helps him into the
aircraft.
ON THE PLATFORM
Good Hugo gets back to his feet and is surrounded by

lava. As the aircraft gets close, he jumps for it...
OUTSIDE THE AIRCRAFT
Good Hugo is short and reaches out his arm echoing the
moment on the space station, but this time Savage
snatches him.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
I can't quit you.
GOOD HUGO
Again with the homoeroticism.
Savage, with the help of Cox, pulls Good Hugo in. Savage
collapses, completely spent.
EXT. SCORPION ISLAND - AERIAL - CONTINUOUS
As the aircraft wings away, the entire island consumes

itself in lava, smoke, and flame.
EXT. NEW YORK - NIGHT
The lights of the city skyline return to life.
EXT. LOS ANGLES - DAY
The Giant Robots terrorizing the Capital Records

Building collapse, completely deactivated.
EXT. LONDON - day
The tornadoes disappear and blue skies appear overhead.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY
Savage wakes. On his left side, the leaders of the free

world led by the US Ambassador. On his right, the
leaders of N.E.M.S.I.S. led by General Blight.
At the foot of his bed are Agent Cox, Steele and Good
Hugo. Cox and Steele are back to their super-secret
agent selves.
GENERAL BLIGHT
Professor Savage, for the
creation of the original Hugo
we'd like to award you the Evil
Genius of the Year Award. And, an
invitation to join our ranks once
more.
He lays a medal on Savage's neck.
US AMBASSADOR
And for stopping The Jackal from
destroying the planet, the
leaders of the free world would
like to award you the global
medal of peace and invite you to
join The Agency.
He presents the second medal to Savage.
Cox, Steele and Good Hugo smile at Savage proudly.
SAVAGE
I'm flattered by both offers, but
I think I need a little time to
sort my next move out.
Everyone seems satisfied with that response.
General Blight looks at the US Ambassador.
GENERAL BLIGHT
Talk to you soon, Mr. Ambassador.
The Ambassador sneers.

Selma pushes past all of them, taking her place next to
Savage's bedside.
SELMA SAVAGE
You all work my boy to death. He
needs rest. Now, shoo, shoo.
Everyone leaves save Cox, Steele and Good Hugo.
AGENT COX
So, if you ever in need of a
partner--
STEELE
Or an archenemy.
AGENT COX
You know where we'll be.
Cox kisses him on the cheek and they leave.
SAVAGE
Advantage: Savage.
Savage looks over to Good Hugo.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
How about some fresh air, my
friend?
EXT. HOSPITAL - ROOFTOP GARDEN - SUNSET
Good Hugo pushes Savage in a wheel chair through the

lovely garden. From here, they can see the partially
destroyed skyline of Manhattan all golden and shimmering
in the late afternoon light.
SAVAGE
Thank god he didn't get The
Chrysler Building.
GOOD HUGO
That Hugo's favorite, too.
SAVAGE
So what do you think? Should we
be good guys or bad guys?
GOOD HUGO
Hugo never been a big fan of
labels.
SAVAGE
I know what you mean.
Just then, a swarm of flying saucers roar overhead and

take position above the city. They destroy the Chrysler
Building with one laser blast.
SAVAGE (CONT'D)
Either way, I think we're going
to be busy.
SMASH TO BLACK
INSERT CARD:
TO BE CONTINUED IN...
PROFESSOR SAVAGE
VS.
THE SAUCER MEN FROM URANUS
T H E E N D

Villain

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V I L L A I N

EXT. DRAKE'S SEASIDE HIDEAWAY - NIGHT

A lovely Spanish-style villa perched high on a cliff

Above, it's full moon, a lover's moon.

INT. DRAKE'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

AGENT DRAKE DEVELIN (40), seasoned and impossibly

His prey is AGENT ALICIA COX (35), a raven haired

Develin lies down across from her.

He cracks a wide smile.

She smiles, completely smitten.

Develin takes a deep breath -- uncharacteristically

Agent Cox stares at him blankly.

She takes his hands, reassuring him.

Develin pulls out a ring and places it on her finger.

Then another and another and another. The walls shake,

An eerie red glow bleeds through the drapes.

Develin parts the drapes to reveal:

THE FACE OF A GIANT ROBOT WITH GLOWING RED EYES!

They race down the spiral staircase just as the Robot

Develin and Cox make it out the front door:

EXT. DRAKE'S SEASIDE HIDEAWAY - CONTINUOUS

What remains collapses in on itself.

Develin and Cox have their backs to the cliff. Below,

The Robot grabs Develin. His face balloons red as the

The Robot tosses Develin's lifeless body into the

INT. U.N. SECURITY COUNCIL CHAMBERS - DAY

The REPRESENTATIVES of the world's most powerful nations

The SILHOUETTE of a man appears on the screen, clasping

The silhouette steps into the light to reveal the

The US AMBASSADOR (50) pounds his fist against the

Savage wags a single finger at them.

The council erupts into nervous cross chatter.

The screen flickers black.

The US Ambassador whips out an ULTRA SLEEK CELL PHONE

EXT. SCORPION ISLAND - DAY - BINOCULARS

Mother Nature might as well have hung a giant "do not

INT. HYDRO-SKIMMER - DAY

A solitary, tuxedo-clad man stands aboard the stealthy

He reads the incoming text message on his phone, cracks

EXT. SCORPION ISLAND - ROCKY SHORELINE - DAY

The hydro-skimmer enters a maze of razor sharp monoliths

As the hydro-skimmer races past, a metallic panel on one

EXT. HIDDEN MISSILE LAUNCHERS - CONTINUOUS

One after another, the top of the rocks slide open to

INT. HYDRO-SKIMMER - CONTINUOUS

Our hero glances down at the screen and sees missile

He calmly presses the alert panel and a volley of

The missiles change course and home in on the counter-

EXT. ROCKS - CONTINUOUS

The missiles crash into the rocks with fantastic force.

The massive stones spectacularly explode and tumble into

EXT. HYDRO-SKIMMER - CONTINUOUS

The craft weaves through the falling debris and surfs

INT. HYDRO-SKIMMER - CONTINUOUS

Another cocksure smile. He sets the boat on auto-pilot.

He moves to the back of the boat. He removes his

The missiles are closing in fast.

Steele holds aloft the cummerbund. It miraculously

High above the wreckage.

Steele swoops in over the island.

He sets his sights on the volcano and flies in.

EXT. VOLCANO - CONTINUOUS

Steele descends into the smoking volcano.