Creating An Attractive Identity

September 20, 2005

Contents

I theApproach: An Introduction By Dan Rose 3

1 Company Overview 3

2 What We Can Do For You 4

3 Our Programs 5
3.1 theApproach StandardTM Official Workshop . . . . . . . 5
3.2 theApproach StreetGameTM Official Workshop . . . . . 6
3.3 theApproach BootcampTM Intensive Workshop . . . . . 7
3.4 theApproach Phone Coaching . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
3.5 theApproach Personal Coaching . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8
3.6 Ebooks, Audio Programs and DVDs . . . . . . . . . . . 8

II Creating An Attractive Identity 8

4 Getting Started 9
4.1 Five Things For Success In Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

5 Becoming More Attractive 14

5.1 What Is Atractive? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
5.2 How Do People Know If Something Is Attractive? . . . 16
5.3 Beliefs And Filters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
5.4 Some Practical Advice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21

6 Body Language 27

7 Attitudes 29

8 Commanding Presence 30

9 Vocal Tonality 31

10 Image and Stereotypes 33

11 The Next Step 37

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12 Testimonials 39

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Part I
theApproach: An Introduction
By Dan Rose
1 Company Overview
theApproach is Vincent DiCarlo and Sebastian Dimitri Drake.

Talk about masters. I’ve actually had the opportunity to spend some
time learning from these guys in person. The things I have seen are
unreal. Their methods of teaching are phenomenal, and their system
is polished to a very high level of sophistication. They’ve spent years
perfecting this discipline as both an art and science, and they’ve been
teaching guys professionally for quite some time now.

I will try and pass on some of their basic introductory topics to you
right now. This book is not only meant to be an introduction to their
concepts and techniques, but also as a prepatory guide for prospective
students, so that they can maximize the learnings and improvements
made on an actual live program.

Vincent and Sebastian have written hundreds of articles on the topic of

dating and seduction, and have given informal lectures in various cities
around the world.

Vincent is known in particular for systematizing and breaking down

’Natural Game’ and being able to transfer those qualities possessed by
guys who are naturally good with women to his students. He was also
the first to break down and outline the exact process of how to develop
spontaneity from scratch.

He has just finished working out various intention maps which lay out
all of the key moments that shape and define the future development of
a given sexual relationship, and is currently teaching these exclusively
at live theApproach programs.

Sebastian is known for his highly social and playful approach to the

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game and empowering his students with spectactular attitudes and be-
liefs. He is currently interested in something he calls The Array of
Possibilities, and is in the process of designing methods for tapping into
ANY woman’s given ideal fantasy. Keep an eye out for his upcoming
full length ebook!

Sebastian has turned out an extremely high percentage of successful

students. Part of my job is to keep in touch with ex-students and
track their progress. Extremely satisfied and grateful, most are cur-
rently getting laid anywhere from 100% - 400% more than they were
pre-workshop.

Both Vincent and Sebastian are literal walking encyclopedias of ev-

erything related to pick-up, seduction and dating, and together they’ve
got plenty of mindsets, tips and techniques for every possible situation.

And they produce results. Seriously. They have turned guys who were
once shy virgins into complete playboys ’living the lifestyle’.

And they’ve also helped men find the women of their dreams. It’s
all possible.

The real question however, is ’How do you want to use this material?’

2 What We Can Do For You

We change men’s lives for the better in a dramatic way. When I first
joined theApproach team in late 2004, I wasn’t sure what to expect.
I knew they had an amazing track record with their students, and to
be honest I was a bit skeptical. This was an area of my life that I was
working on very dilligently, and I really felt I had reached the limit of
how much progress was possible.

Boy, was I wrong.

I had been going out specifically to meet women a few nights a week.
And I was doing alright. Nothing too spectacular. I was getting plenty
of phone numbers, and even had a few short flings. At the time, I
thought I was doing pretty good. I mean, most of my friends had trou-

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ble even talking to women they didn’t know.

And then I saw Vincent and Sebastian. They made the impossible
look easy. Effortless. Carefree.

Just watching them that first day not only shattered my reality of what
it truly means to be a ’pick-up artist’, but I began to subconsciously
absorb their attitudes and beliefs.

And I got better. MUCH better.

And it was only the beginning. They started correcting my mistakes.

They gave me better ways of doing things. They pointed out subtle
behaviors of mine that were holding me back.

And everything changed.

Now I am part of the team, and it feels great helping others. I’ve
never had so much fun doing anything else. It’s genuinely a blast. We
witness tremendous change in our students.

3 Our Programs
3.1 theApproach StandardTM Official Workshop
theApproach’s World-Class Small Group Workshops represent the high-
est level of integrity when it comes to live pick-up, seduction and dating
instruction. The StandardTM has proven itself time and time again with
the remarkable success of every client who completes the training.

theApproach live program consists of small-group classroom style sem-

inars and in-field workshops. The seminars are designed to be highly
personalized and interactive. Therefore both workshop and seminar
space is limited, which allows you the greatest opportunity to get per-
sonalized attention and make major and paradigm-shifting changes and
realizations.

Seminars are taught exclusively by theApproach founders Vincent Di-

Carlo and Sebastian Drake. Spend an upwards of 30-35 hours with two

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of the top recognized pickup gurus in the world. Their teaching meth-
ods are just as refined as their skills with women, and they continue to
develop and systematize them further, night after night.

theApproach programs zero in and focus on each student to determine

what your inherent personality traits are and develop them in the most
attractive way possible. In addition, you will receive highly constructive
feedback in order to address those things that are currently holding you
back from your desired success.

Not only will we provide you with the neccessary tools for the tricky
situations and challenges you will encounter, but we will improve your
attitude and mindsets using interactive exercises which streamline your
thought patterns, destroy negative thinking and eliminate self-imposed
limitations.

3.2 theApproach StreetGameTM Official Workshop

Do you see beautiful women in the daytime, walking down the street,
in malls, or even bookstores? Do you see them in train stations, cof-
fee shops or anywhere for that matter? Would you like to have your
pick of these same women for a romantic encounter? Did you know
that these women are wanting, wishing, and hoping for the exact same
thing? Only in the movies?

Think again.

Introducing: theApproach StreetGameTM Official Workshop

Learn what it takes to enter the world of women’s fantasy. Realize

that 90% of the women you see are not only open to having a same-
day intimate connection... they are eagerly anticipating it!

theApproach StreetGameTM Workshops are exclusive workshops aimed

at the advanced level students who want to take their daytime pick-up
skills to top level. Workshop groups are limited to a 3:1 student to
instructor ratio.

Workshops take place almost entirely in the field with intensive real-

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time coaching and training. Malls, Bookstores, Grocery Stores, Busy
Streets,Train Stations are all fair game!

3.3 theApproach BootcampTM Intensive Workshop

If you theApproach Standard and StreetGame Workshops sound great,
but youd like to do even MORE to improve your game, check out our
Bootcamp program. This is for the guys who are really serious about
taking their game to the next level youll be working one-on-one with
an instructor at all times, the ultimate in personalized attention. The
bootcamp takes place almost entirely in-field, you youll get a massive
amount of experience in one weekend.

Youll get incredibly detailed feedback on your interactions, and youll

see each group of women which you engage becoming progressively
more attracted to you than the last. You can customize the bootcamp
entirely to what you want, all the field work will take place in the venues
YOU prefer. You can work on any area of your game for as long as
you feel you need to. Youll become more confident and achieve more
success with women that weekend, which will in turn make you even
more confident, which will lead to more success in the future.

3.4 theApproach Phone Coaching

Even if you can’t make it to one of our personalized workshops, help is
still available via theApproach Phone Coaching. Keep up on all the lat-
est concepts and ideas or even get tailored advice to a specific situation.

Speak directly with either Vincent or Sebastian and get advice right
before your important date. Phone coaching is completely personal,
confidential and secure, and we’ll never share your information with
anyone.

Workshop students can even follow up their programs to stay sharp,

learn all the newest techniques and even get specific exercises to stay
on the path to mastery. Phone coaching is completely personalized to
the individual student, and we can track your progress over the long
term.
• Get Coaching to Attract that Special Girl

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 • Learn All the Latest Concepts and Techniques
• Follow Up On Your Workshop Program to Stay Sharp
• Take your Existing Game to the Next Level
• Get Personalized Coaching Even If You Can’t Make A Workshop
• Talk Directly with Vincent and Sebastian
• Get Specific Exercises and Assignments Custom Tailored

3.5 theApproach Personal Coaching

Once offered as an additional option to our workshop clients, personal
coaching is now available to the general public. We understand our
clients are busy people with a lot going on in their lives. Spend a day
with Vincent or Sebastian any time your schedule will allow.

Brush up on your conversational skills, get critiqued on your body lan-

guage, or even get a fashion makeover. theApproach personal coaching
is held to the same standard as our other workshop programs and has
turned out some highly successful clients.

theApproach Personal Coaching is currently offered in Boston or New

York City, and is a great way to keep your skills sharp after taking a full
program.

3.6 Ebooks, Audio Programs and DVDs

Expect a complete line of Ebooks, Audio Programs and DVD’s from
theApproach. Be sure to sign up for our newsletter list and stay current
with not only our newest tips and techniques but also our important
announcments!

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Part II
Creating An Attractive Identity
4 Getting Started
When it comes down to it, all of your success in attracting women is
dependent on having both positive beliefs about yourself and proper
execution of techniques. Techniques are used as a way of emulating a
person who truly believes he is attractive, with the goal of eventually
becoming a person who truly believes he is attractive.

4.1 Five Things For Success In Life

If you truly believe you are attractive, you will do the following three
things, which are necessary for success in dating or any other area of
your life.

1) Like yourself.
2) Be confident.
3) Have fun.

Those are the first three. The criticals. The essentials. Those are
things we aim to develop through our behaviors and actions.

With those three, and just those three, you can do anything. How-
ever, while those first three are critical for just about all parts of a good
life, the next two are also very useful.

4) Stay open-minded.
5) Learn.

That’s it. If you can manage those five things, you’ll be on your way.
If, after a solid base in those five things, you go out and start actively
socializing, you’ll be able to achieve an incredible social and sex life.

Now, let me break them down a little, and throw in a some advanced

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discussion.

1) Like yourself: The root cause of everything good that can ever
happen.

You need to like yourself as a person. You need to accept every part of
yourself, even the parts you don’t like (which doesn’t mean don’t try to
change for the better!)

For all you analytical folk: There is not a single advantage to disliking
yourself. Consider that.

For all you emotional folk: Your whole life will be better and you will
feel stronger and more alive if you like yourself.

What do I mean by ’like yourself?’ It’s so simple, but so difficult.

Here’s some random points I’m just going to throw out. It’s not all-
encompassing, but it’s an idea.

Alright, I’m an American. Here in the U.S., we’re given a double stan-
dard from birth. Basics of self-esteem are taught throughout school and
by parents, but at the same time, people are often put down. Parents,
teachers, and authorities often turn a blind eye to bullying, reasoning it
off as ’kid stuff.’

The media constantly draws and redraws a fake norm that people should
strive to achieve, and are ostracized if they deviate from it. In countries
based around consumption, the idea of non-satiation rules supreme, and
people are told to be never satisfied. You’ll be happier with a faster
car, a better razor, the most fashionable suit, the new soda that’s got
a great taste while being very low in carbs...

People are told they can’t be happy without stuff. They’re constantly
taught to seek validation, and insecurities are played upon on a daily
basis. There’s a happy feel-good message of ’Everyone is a special and
unique snowflake’ that’s said in elementary school, which is promptly
mocked and satirized.

In short, people are given a billion reasons not to like themselves, and

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told not to decide for themselves. At the same time, most people think
they like themselves when asked, and often can’t realize that they, in
fact, don’t.

I used to say things like, ’Damn, I screwed up again. I hate myself.’ in

my head. I didn’t even realize I was doing it for so long, but when I
caught on, it became sickening. I’d say it so much without even recog-
nizing it. I really did believe it.

My breakthrough came when I realized there were many, many good

things about myself. I genuinely came to like myself.

Now, how to do that? There are many ways, some of which are in-
cluded in this guide. Now you’re aware of some of what’s going on, one
way is to realize that there is no reason not to like yourself... you’re
the only you you’ve got. Strive for improvement, but like and accept
yourself. It precedes and precludes almost all good things in life, includ-
ing good relationships with other people and good sex with beautiful
women. It’s critical.

2) Be confident: The world is yours for the taking.

Confidence. Arguably the single most important interpersonal skill. If

you act confidently, everything from business to family to relationships
to (yes) pickup will go more smoothly.

What is confidence for me? It’s knowing that I have lots of ability
and infinite potential. I know I’ve got skills that I’ve honed to a precise
degree and I can use them decisively. But more importantly, I know
that anything I don’t know or can’t do... I could. With practice, with
teaching.

I think people trying to explain confidence is where a lot of the rhetoric

out there came from. Most of it’s right, but it’s convoluted. I can’t tell
you exactly what confidence will be to you, but you’ll know it.

For me, it’s about fighting my fears when they come up, and defeating
them. It’s about using my abilities as well as I can, but after I’m trying
my best, I move decisively. I know I’ll do the best job possible, so why

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doubt myself?

I act quickly, decisively after I’ve picked the best course. This is because
I know I have ability and infinite potential. There is no failure: There
is only success and learning.

3) Have fun: If you’re not having fun doing something...

This is key to true success in anything. To truly be good at attracting

and seducing women, you’ve got to have fun doing the whole process.
If you want to do work in nightclubs, you’ve got to have fun going out
to nightclubs. If you want to do bars, you’ve got to enjoy bars.

You’ve got to have fun socializing. From the first approach to full
sexual intimacy, you’ve got enjoy what you’re doing and spending time
with women and people. If you go out with a friend whos acting as
your wingman, you’ve got to like him and like spending time with him.

It doesn’t matter how or what’s fun about what you’re doing. It could be
that you like the music of where you’re at, or you like self-improvement,
or that you like going out with your friends that came with you, or you
like karaoke at the place you’re at... it doesn’t matter.

Just have fun. Your results will be infinitely better if you’re having
fun, and no matter what happens, you’ll have enjoyed yourself.

So, those are my ’primary three.’ I think that those three mindsets
are pretty much necessary for a truly happy life. Anyone can improve
in those three areas, and improvement in any of those three areas will
translate to improvements EVERYWHERE else in your life.

So remember: Like yourself, be confident, and have fun.

4) Stay open-minded: Consider and reconsider everything.

This is as much a life skill as a pickup skill.

Open-mindedness is considering and reconsidering anything and every-

thing. Aside from the fact that your time is valuable, you should always

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be willing to consider a new point of view or rethink an old one. Even
fundamental beliefs of yours may change from time to time, and even
if you can’t accept some things at this time, don’t be afraid to rethink
them later.

Part of open-mindedness, for me, is tolerance. I’m not going to go

on a feel-good, politically correct trip right now, because I’ve got some
unresolved views on tolerance myself. On the whole, though, I like to
live and a promote a live-and-let-live philosophy. Be kind whenever
possible, to anyone, regardless of who they are and what they do. Note
that I said ’whenever possible’, which doesn’t mean you should allow
people to walk all over you.

Kindness is not subservience or supplication, so don’t get them con-

fused. Be willing to rethink what kindness really is from time to time:
It’s possible that some things the media raises you to think are good
and kind acts, like buying a woman dinner, is actually unrelated to true
kindness and tolerance.

5) Learn: Learn about anything and everything. Why not?

When I say learn, there’s two things I’m driving at.

I like learning about anything and everything, and I think it’s invaluable
to me. I know about all sorts of little interesting things, and my life is
better for it. I can relate to many, many different people on different
levels, and can talk to them about it. I can think in different ways about
different things, and come up with interesting conclusions.

Learn things in general, because it’s useful to you, and will benefit
you in pickup and in other aspects of your life. The students who see
the most dramatic changes in their lives as a result of our programs are
the ones who came into the programs with the greatest commitment to
learn everything they could, and to solidify that knowledge by practicing
it afterwards.

Secondly, learn as you do. Strive to be better and improve. When

you do not achieve what you set out to achieve, learn from it. You can
repair mistakes you’ve been making with practice and guidance. Try to

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think of creative solutions, and ask for help when appropriate.

Seek out sources that can aid you. After taking one of our programs,
one of the best ways to ground your newfound pickup and dating skills
in your reality is to hang out with other men who are good with women.
Whether these guys are also former students of ours, or guys who are
naturally good at attracting women, they will continue to aid you and
teach you as you continue to improve your skills.

Those are my five first things. At any time, if you go back and pick one
of those and work actively on improving it, you will improve your life
and your ability to pick up and date women. These alone can improve
your life, and base proficiency are required in all five of these skills to
truly succeed in this endeavor... and to be happy in all of your life.

Anyone can grasp these concepts. Anyone can apply them success-
fully. Work on them and your life will improve, as will results in all
skill-based endeavors.

5 Becoming More Attractive

An attractive person does a lot of things: Some consciously, many un-
consciously. Attractiveness is influenced by a great deal of things, and
that can cause a lot of confusion for some people on ’How to be attrac-
tive’. In fact, some people believe that they could never be attractive:
Which might be the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. And then you hear
things like, ’Realize you’re already attractive and you’ll be attractive’
- Which can be downright confusing if you don’t know what that means.

Here’s what I want to do in this section:

• Define what attractiveness is.
• Identify how people initially evaluate another’s attractiveness on a
snap judgement.
• Explain how beliefs and thought processes affect the snap evalua-
tion.
• Give some practical examples and advice on how to become more
attractive.

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5.1 What Is Atractive?
Merriam-Webster gives two definitions:
1. Having or relating to the power to attract.
2. Arousing interest or pleasure.
That doesn’t quite do it. Let’s look at one of those definitions of at-
tract: To draw by appeal to natural or excited interest, emotion, or
aesthetic sense.

Now we’re getting somewhere. My general definition of attractive is

something that is desirable on some level. For purposes of this book,
I’m going to deal with the kind of attraction that’s most relevant to
dating and socializing: When I refer to something or someone as being
attractive from this point on, I’m referring to things that are attractive
in a way that leads to sex and relationships. That is, a lot of things
can be attractive on a lot of different levels, but I’m going to focus on
what can cause sexual or romantic attraction.

Now, the first interesting thing I’ll note from this: There are things
that are not sexually or romantically attractive at all to women, that
won’t help in building a good, healthy relationship (or having enjoyable
casual encounters, if that’s what you’re after) ... yet these characteris-
tics ARE attractive to women with a very specific preogative (such as
getting married, settling down, raising a family).

By that, I mean, if a woman is ready to settle down, she might look

for a man who is very gentle and nurturing, a man that is less willing
to take large risks for potentially large rewards, a man who will stick
around and be a father figure for her children. These qualities of stabil-
ity aren’t universally attractive, but can be very attractive on a level to
a woman with an agenda of getting married and settling it down. One
of my girlfriends said it best: ’If I was going to get married right now,
I’d marry my last ex-boyfriend. He still wants to marry me.’

Now, by all accounts and measures, her boyfriend isn’t a very attractive
guy. They’ve been broken up quite a while, and he’s yet to move on.
My girlfriend lives on the East Coast, her ex-boyfriend in California, and
he recently offered to fly into Boston and get a hotel just to meet up

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with her: And that’s after she’d told him she wouldn’t have sex with
him ever again!

He’s not particularly attractive, objectively, but his loyalty (bordering on

obsession with her) and his low-risk lifestyle would make him a pretty
good husband, and my gal’s nothing if not pragmatic. She could marry
many more attractive men than him, but few men that she’d feel so
secure in his job and faithfulness.

That little aside there explains something major: There are many qual-
ities that are not universally attractive, but can be attractive in certain
situations. Another great example would be a female ’gold-digger’:
Something very attractive to her would be mass amounts of wealth.
While wealth is rarely unattractive, a lot of behavior that’d turn off
many girls would make a gold digger downright giddy.

That DOES NOT mean that throwing money around and spending
it on these girls is building a solid relationship, or even the best way to
get her in bed. Money is attractive by itself to most people; it does
not necessarily make the holder of the wealth more attractive except to
people with certain agendas.

The working definition of attractive for the rest of the post is some-
thing that is desirable on some level. Unless otherwise noted, anything
I write about as being an attractive characteristic will be a trait that
is desirable on an interpersonal level, that’d be useful for establishing
solid relationships and/or getting quality sex. An attractive person is
just a person with a lot of those traits.

5.2 How Do People Know If Something Is Attractive?

Of course, it all starts with the senses. For physical beauty, the person
needs to be seen or touched. Hearing also matters, as do scent and
taste.

When a woman sees a man, she almost always makes a quick snap
judgement about him. If no other information about the guy is avail-
able, it’s usually on what she sees with her eyes, and sometimes on what
she hears (if she hears him before or simultaneous with seeing him). At

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that point, very little if any conscious thought has been made, and yet
she’s made an immediate impression. This is daunting to a lot of guys.
Many, many men do not want to hear this. The fact is, yes, you can
change a person’s initial perceptions of you with time, in fact, within a
few more seconds.

But the matter stands: People quickly size you up, and it’s a lot easier
to go from (at least) a neutral initial impression to a positive one than
it is to go from a negative initial impression to a positive one.

What’s that mean? Something we’ve all known for quite a while: Im-
prove your physical appearance, within reason, as much as you can.
Seriously, check this out: You don’t need to completely overhaul your-
self in one day. Any small, positive adjustments are good.

Any one of: Doing your hair, cutting your fingernails, washing your
face, taking a shower, styling your hair (even really quickly with your
hands), shaving or trimming / styling a beard or mustache, putting
on clean clothes, putting on clothes that fit your figure well, apply-
ing something like Chapstick or lip balm, adjusting your clothing and
playing around to find a cool style (including tucking or untucking shirt
tails, buttoning or unbuttoning cuffs, figuring out how many buttons on
the top and bottom of a button-down shirt to unbutton, turning your
collar up or down as appropriate, etc), washing / cleaning your hands,
cleaning your shoes (even if they’re sneakers or sandals), and... well,
lots of other things.

You don’t need to do 30 things at once: One little change makes a

little difference, and if you’re spending a lot of time reading articles on
dating, try taking a 10 minute break to do even one small thing to up
your appearance - it could give you a significant edge. And a quick note
on dress: Just coordinating the clothes you already own can make you
look 10,000 times more well-dressed.

Whatever you do, don’t play into a victim mentality: If you find your-
self thinking, ’I’m too unattractive to...’, then get off the self-pity kick
and make one small change. There’s probably at least a dozen little
things you could do easily in the next week to become more physically
attractive.

17
Physical appearance largely dominates the initial first impression, but
within moments, you’re in conversation with her. Before any of your
words even register, the tone of your voice has huge impact on what
you’re saying. This is why socially learned people advocate having a
strong tonality: Either naturally, by being and feeling comfortable, or
by consciously focusing on it and adjusting it to its best level. Either
method can work, and applied perfectly, either method will work per-
fectly.

I’ll address what a good tonality is momentarily, when I talk about

how the information you’re giving off is processed (that’s when we’ll
talk about body language, too, if you’ve been waiting).

Smell is something that’s easy to cover, not because it isn’t huge,

but because there’s not too much conscious effort that we should or
could put into it. As long as you don’t smell bad, you’re fine. It can
be a plus to smell ’good’, with either a good cologne or aftershave, or
pleasant smelling soap and shampoo. In this department, don’t smell
bad, maybe make a little effort to smell good, and then forget about it.

Taste: Eventually, you’ll be kissing the girl of your dreams, I hope. You
don’t want to taste poorly, but again, it’s nothing you should sweat.
Between the kind of ethnic foods that I like and regular salads, I eat a
lot of onions, so I’m constantly battling that. Not a problem: A little
fruit at the end of a meal goes a long way towards fixing your breath,
and breathmints are a good quick fix. And of course, brush your teeth
and take care in that department, and don’t sweat this. I’m not going
to talk about taste and smell for the rest of this article: Make sure
you’re not bad in those departments, make a little effort to be good,
then get it off your mind.

Of the five senses, I’ve laid out the base idea behind four of them,
and I’ve notably not mentioned touch much so far. Be assured that
touch is a huge part of the equation, but the modern, western world
has done a strange thing with touching: They’ve made it often more of
a big deal than it really is. Thus, many touches, regardless of how non-
chalant, can provoke conscious thought on her part. Whether you want
to provoke conscious thought with your touch or not in a given situa-

18
tion is something worth a little thought, and we’ll get to it momentarily.

What we’ve established so far:

• Attractive is something that’s desirable on some level to someone.
• Things can be attractive in different ways, but in a scene like this
one, we’re largely dealing with being attractive in a way that’s
going to help our romantic and sex livses.
• The very first, knee-jerk reactions about whether a person is at-
tractive or not come from our senses.
After that, the information from our senses is filtered. This is where
things get complicated.

5.3 Beliefs And Filters

If I got together a bunch of guys and asked them, ’What makes a woman
attracted to a man?’ I’d get lots of different answers. I might hear,
’Making her feel good is attractive.’ I might hear: ’People want what
they can’t have, and that’s attractive.’ I might hear: ’An attractive guy
doesn’t need her.’ I might hear: ’Acting like a man is attractive.’ And
so on. None of those are wrong, or right, by and of themselves. Those
are catchphrases that have some truth to them, but aren’t the whole
picture.

And this is where the confusion comes in: If a cool guy spends a lot of
time socializing with women, and has some relationships, he’ll have a
lot of insights. They’ll be pretty complicated, and based on his unique
experiences. So if he wants to share them, he needs to break them
down in a way that they can be understood. The guys he’s sharing
with weren’t there for every girl he’s interacted with, and don’t have
his frame of reference, so he needs to ’sum it up’ for them.

So he says something like: ’Be alpha. Be a man.’

Not bad advice. Not bad at all. But he’s saying that from the per-
spective he’s got, from the places he’s been, from acting like he’s acted
like with women all his life. If the man giving advice is a 35-year-old
businessman in Italy, his conception of ’being alpha’ and ’being a man’

19
is very, very different from a 17-year-old Canadian high school kid’s idea
if ’being alpha’ and ’being a man’. Some things are going to be the
same, but the guys that the 17 year old Canadian is going to look up
to is going to be very different from the Italian guy.

So let’s get to the heart of it: In every place I’ve been to, almost
everyone raised in that area had some deep, underlying core beliefs that
were similar. Like, as crazy as it sounds in a diverse nation, it’s largely
true. In the 1950’s in America, in many areas it was completely assumed
as a fundamental truth that women stayed home and raised children,
and men worked. That’s just how it was. Telling a woman that being
a ’working mother’ was an option for her would be as alien as telling a
Manhattan woman today that she needs to get married and start having
children by 20. Everything you perceive is filtered through your beliefs.
It goes like this:

Sensory Input =⇒ Belief Filters =⇒ Conscious Thought

You see something, or hear it, or smell it, you filter it through your
beliefs, THEN you can consciously think about it. Can you see how
it’d be difficult to change your beliefs? To get to an idea, you wind up
filtering what you’re sensing through your beliefs.

So unless you come into something with an open mind, or your beliefs
are wired in a very good way as to allow you to make constant ad-
justments to them, it can be very hard to change them......until you’re
aware of the pattern, which you now are.

To illustrate the example, let’s look beyond dating and sex: I, my-
self, deeply hold the belief that I should be free to share my opinions
and logically debate them with whomever would like to hear and debate
with me, and that that is never wrong. I’m repulsed when I hear about
governments censoring their citizens.

If someone were to tell me that that’s the way the whole world should
be run, it’s very, very, very unlikely I could ever come to that belief:
Because to even think about that idea, for it to even become conscious
thought, it has to go through my beliefs: And I, literally, feel physically
repulsed at that idea.

20
Another example would be telling a devout religious person that God
does not exist. It’s quite possible that they could never come to that
belief, because the idea couldn’t even make it past their beliefs to be
thought about.

What does this mean?

You need to recognize any negative beliefs you may have about your-
self, and at least isolate yourself from them long enough to consider
the ideas. Many times I’ll tell a student of mine that he’s attractive,
but the idea can’t make it through his beliefs without me making him
recognize that his beliefs need changing, far before I logically convince
him of the (relatively) simple fact the he’s attractive.

Don’t let your beliefs stand in your own way. They’re ingrained in
you, largely by your upbringing and experiences, but they’re a lot more
flexible than you might imagine, which is a good thing.

The belief in what’s attractive is interesting. If a woman (or man,

too) has a belief about what’s attractive, they’ll often parse over little
details if they see that piece of the equation.

5.4 Some Practical Advice

Here’s an example: Guys that have large biceps and triceps move their
arms, when they walk, a bit differently than guys with smaller upper
arms. I’ve observed the pattern and even felt it myself when I was lift-
ing weights. The difference is very small, but a well-muscled guy’s arms
seem ’pushed out’ more than normal - not just in terms of muscle mass,
but just the way guys with larger arms move. I have no idea why this
is. I’m not a biologist, nor an exercise scientist, and aside from basic
knowledge, I can’t really tell you how anatomy works. But one thing I
CAN tell you is that if you adjust your walk ever-so-slightly, then you’re
walking like a guy who has ripped muscles.

After you consciously adjust your walk for a short while, it’ll become
natural and you’ll need no more conscious thought in that department.
The arms thing is just a very, very small piece of an overall attractive

21
presence. If you walk, stand, sit, wait, smile, and move like an attractive
guy, on a casual glance, you’ll look more attractive. If you only ’turn
your walk on’ when you’re out looking to meet women, it might not
stick over a long course.

Even still, it gives you plenty of time to screen the girl if she’s compati-
ble, and if she is, you’ll have had plenty of time to attract her via more
conscious processes that it won’t matter any more.

It’s interesting, really, that so much of the game is based around get-
ting five minutes of a woman’s attention so that you can show her who
you really are. But the fact stands: If you emulate a good behavior
and that gets you in with one woman, that’s great. If you synthesize a
good behavior and make it who you are, you’ll be in with lots of women.

The emphasis on being cool, calm, and comfortable:

Being relaxed and knowing you’re attractive will make you have the
body language of someone who is relaxed and attractive. This is a
good thing. Consciously manipulating your body language and move-
ments slightly, for a while, can be a good thing while you get the hang
of it. I, myself, have written a couple articles you might check out on
having a good walk. But more than anything, the belief that you’re
attractive will smooth things down and make you more cool.

People’s filters react based on what they’ve seen already. If every at-
tractive guy a woman’s ever known has walked and talked a certain way,
an okay-looking guy walking and talking that way will appear attractive
to her.

This is true for tonality, body language, and style. While there isn’t
ONE correct way to do any of these, there are ways that are attractive.
If you watch attractive guys, they’ll have similarities between them.
People who feel they’re of high value carry themselves with their shoul-
ders broad and their head up, almost universally.

Something I’ve noticed: If an average-looking girl wears an attractive

girl’s clothes, and carries herself like an attractive girl, she’ll be attrac-
tive. And it’s cyclical, too: She’ll start getting more attention, and the

22
attention will be more positive, so she’ll feel more attractive. And since
she’ll feel more attractive, she’ll carry herself well. The same is true of
men.

It’s a cool thing I get to see when I teach: Often prior to taking a
program, a guy will have gone through a lot of frustration. Then some-
thing just clicks on program and they start to really feel it. They worked
hard, and they get that first positive spark, and then they REALLY be-
lieve it, finally, and start truly acting attractive. Then their success
REALLY takes OFF! The beliefs a guy carries with him translates into
how he acts. Any woman he meets will assess him based on her beliefs.

So, what should they guy do? Should he try to act the way she’d find
attractive? Or should he just BE attractive and KNOW he’s attractive?
I find the second way much easier. Emulation is okay. Learning to be
attractive, if you will. Faking can’t really work, though: If you believe
you’re faking, if you don’t believe you are attractive, you won’t be. This
is true regardless of what the first thing you like to say to a girl is.

Regardless of what you want to say, you should know, deep down,
that you’re attractive.

That knowledge alone will make you act like an attractive person, re-
gardless of what the societal definition of attractive is.

Filters:

We all have instincts as to what’s attractive and not. Health is uni-

versally attractive on an instinctual level. But someone’s filters can
override that:

Let’s say a woman from an upper-class family sees a man of a race

other than her own. This could be any race of man and woman. Even
if the guy is physically fit with shows all other signs of health and
strength, she might let her societal filters override it.

Racist beliefs can be used as filters to filter guys out. (Thankfully,

in the Western world, this is largely being done away with: Though
racism is still around plenty, most women at least exercise their free-

23
dom to try dating outside their race a few times in their lives.)

That’s a simple example of a negative filter, but thankfully, most filters

aren’t as hard-line as the race one. Instead, most filters can be used to
your advantage.

I remember, I once had a friend who rowed. You know, like, a boat with
oars and such? I’m not sure exactly how the sport works, but it was
interesting to look at him: He was very toned and in shape, but didn’t
have large muscles the way a bodybuilder would. He looked very toned,
say, at the beach, but he’d look rather skinny in a baggy sweatshirt.

He shared an interesting observation with me. He was wearing a white

T-shirt one day, and he pointed something out to me: He showed me
the sleeve on his T-shirt, and said, ’Always try to get T-shirts that the
sleeves are tight around your biceps. I’ve got large T-shirts with small
sleeves and I look ripped in them, and I’ve got small shirts with big
sleeves that make my arms look tiny.’

It was funny... because he was right. The sleeves on your white cotton
t-shirt can make the difference between you looking like you have biceps
or not.

That little thing can appeal to a mostly unconscious filter.

Arms Bulging On Sleeves = Muscles = Healthy = Attractive

It’s why even though you look similar on most days, and even though
styles of clothing can look very similar, a very small cut of cloth can
make you look more attractive. If you need to prove this, have a girl
you know try on a few different cuts of the ’classic little black skirt’ at
a department store. One cut of it is going to make her look elegant,
another is going to make her look hot, and many, many, many cuts are
going to make her look not so good. I have no idea why women enjoy
shopping so much, with as difficult as it must be for them.

Anyway, dress is a really simple thing to help you stand out and be
represented as physically fit, and thus attractive. A little effort into
your clothes can make you much more attractive. But more important

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t han clothes are attitudes, and the beliefs they come from.

Confidence is attractive. Now, I’m going to make a differentiation here:

There’s confidence as a belief,

and,
There’s confidence in actions.

Confidence as a belief is confidence in yourself and yourself and your

abilities. It’s knowing your value is high and you’re awesome. It mani-
fests itself in actions.

Have you ever been cliff-diving? It’s where you jump off a cliff of
some height into very deep water. It’s very fun and a little dangerous.
The first time I did it, I had no confidence in the action. I muttered a
quick prayer and just jumped off. A few more dives jumps later and I
was totally confident, and I wasn’t sweating it at all.

Confidence in yourself, the belief, will translate into confidence in your

actions. Had I been completely sure that I was invincible, I’d have been
completely confident jumping off that cliff (literally). But I wasn’t quite
at that point in my life. Right now, I’m so confident about where I’m
going and where I’ve been in my life that I don’t even really fear death
(at least in the abstract form, it might change depending on the sit-
uation). I’m so confident in myself (belief) that I rarely get afraid of
anything. This makes me appear confident in my actions.

I stand strong, speak clearly, and command attention. Confidence in

yourself, on a belief level, can’t be seen by itself: But it translates into
your actions.

This ties into the bodylanguage piece: By moving like someone with
confident bodylanguage, even if you’re just emulating it, you’ll appear
to have internal confidence (the belief). The action itself is a slightly
exaggerated walk, that’s fluid and cool. This is a confident action, and
it reflects your internal confidence. Even if you don’t have internal con-
fidence, a woman sees a man walking like he’s confident, and she thinks
he IS confident.

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Thus, he becomes attractive to her. Simply by walking attractive, you
can start to create a cycle where you get more respect, so you feel more
attractive.

It’s the same for any attractive action: You can pinpoint what the
action is and do it, that’s good. But to really become good at the
game, you need to take it to the next level and find the BELIEF that
that action comes from, and make it one of YOUR beliefs.

As for what your beliefs should be... that’s up for you to decide. The
first step is figuring out two things:

Who you want to be,

and,
What you want to do.

Me, I want to be someone who is knowledgeable about many things,

always be getting better in everything I do, and be a good person by my
standards. What I want to do is help people, and in helping people, help
myself. I want to live a life that’s comfortable without being excessive,
and I want to form relationships with people where we can enrich each
other’s lives. I want my relationships with women to be with women
who are everything a man can ask for, and I want a woman for me to
be loyal to me.

Just reading my list, can you see what beliefs I should start to develop?
I want to develop open-mindedness for my knowledge, perseverance for
getting better, and I need to cultivate a strong, intelligent set of morals
I can live by. I need to believe I’m attractive, worth knowing, able to
speak with anyone, able to bring other people up, and so on.

These little things will be seen when a person meets me. They’ll see
the way I smile, walk, talk, shrug, eat, drink, and so on.

The best thing you can do to help yourself reach a goal is find a suitable
belief. BUT, reworking your beliefs can take a while, and it’s good to
take action right away. In the meantime, as you grasp and REALLY
REALLY believe your beliefs, you can work on emulating the behaviors
someone with that belief would do.

26
This article is about becoming more attractive. But as an example,
let’s say you want to be more sincere:

What’s a quick thing many sincere people do?

Listen.

So you could focus on your listening, and that’d make you a bit more
sincere. Likewise, many sincere people make eye contact, so you could
try making eye contact more. As such, you’d feel more sincere, and
then a cycle has begun.

Modelling your behavior after the behaviors of people you want to be

like can be helpful. That doesn’t mean try to pretend like you’re them:
Instead, start with one behavior they do, and watch as it sparks a cycle.
If you walk like an attractive guy, you’ll get more respect from men and
more attention from women. As such, you’ll feel more attractive... and
what’ll you do? I’m going to bet you’ll smile like you own whatever
place you’re in. And in doing so, guess what? You just did another
behavior that attractive people do, naturally, because you felt attrac-
tive. And suddenly, you’re walking like a cool guy and you’re smiling
like the guy that owns the place. Then you get more respect and more
attention, and the cycle continues.

You’re well on your way to becoming attractive.

6 Body Language
The main charactersistics you want your body language to have are:
1. Relaxed and Slow.
2. Big and Open.
No weird jerky movements. No hesitation. Put your intentions out in
the open for all to see. If you are relaxed and confident you will natu-
rally take on certain nuances of body language.

You will:

27
• Lean back. Leaning back shows that you are relaxed and comfort-
able with yourself and with the girl and her group. It is an invitation
for her to follow you into your comfortable reality. Leaning back is
not incongruent with direct game because it is not a sign of disin-
terest, only of relaxation. When you are seated, lean back in your
chair. Dont slouch, just lean back slightly. The same with when
youre standing against something, just lean back slightly onto it.
• Stand up straight. Bad posture is a sign of low self-esteem.
Good posture is a sign of confidence and is attractive to women.
You can improve your looks tremendously just by improving your
posture.
• Dont touch too early, or too late. Some guys turn women
off by touching them before the woman is comfortable with their
touch. Many more guys turn women off by not touching them at
all, and appearing asexual. The proper time to touch a woman is
largely determined by your frame, if you do it with the confident
expectation that she will enjoy the touch, then she will. Of course
there are also factors specific to the girl, but mainly it is your frame.

There are a few technical specifics to touching a woman. You

want to make your touch slow and confident: No tentativeness.
Ideally, a touch should be spontaneous and you should not think
about it, but a touch that you have to think about is better than
no touching at all. At first, touch a woman in safe places, on her
back, her arm, or her hand. Of course, eventually you want to
escalate to non-safe places, but do this only after she is receptive
to kino on safe places.

While you are learning, err on the side of touching a woman too
much rather than too little. You will have to set aside your ego
to do this, because at first your touches will often be rejected.
This is part of the learning process learn from the experience, and
eventually women will crave your touch.
• Make steady, warm eye contact. You want to avoid hard eye
contact, or staring. Similarly, you want to avoid darting eyes and
looking around the room, or looking at the floor it signals that
you are insecure. Look at her steadily are warmly.

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 • Be completely relaxed, with no uptight or fidgety move-
ments. Like leaning back, this shows that you are relaxed and
comfortable.

7 Attitudes
Your attitude should be that of an alpha male. First of all, since you
believe you are an attractive male, you should not see your approaching
women as something you should be sneaky and ashamed about. This
is ridiculous. You are enriching the lives of every woman you approach,
and you should act accordingly.

Second of all, you should not care what other people think when they
see you approaching. Too many guys think, ’Bbut what if other people
see me talk to her?’ Who cares? Most of these people you are not ever
going to see again, so why do you care what they think about you?
And even if they are people who you do see again, you shouldnt be
controlled by what they think. An alpha male does what he wants, not
what others think he should do.

Dont be concerned about ’Following social rules.’ You are an alpha

male you set the social rules. All the others will want to be like you,
so will conform to your rules, not the other way around.

You should assume that you own the world, and that every single person
in the world likes you and wants to see you succeed. Assume that you
will be successful in everything you do. And most importantly for dating
and seduction, assume that every girl who you talk to is attracted to you.

This should be the attitude you strive towards. It cant just be a in-
sincere little affirmation you repeat three times before you talk to a
woman you really have to believe it. If you really believe a woman is
attracted to you, one hundred percent, than she will be.

This attitude should be your end goal in your journey of self-improvement.

Attitudes take time to develop, but they are literally the key to every-
thing with women. Our main focus in our programs is establishing these
attitudes in our clients, so they can attract women regardless of what
techniques they use.

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8 Commanding Presence
What is a commanding presence?

First of all, commanding presence has nothing to do with gimmicks,

tactics, or techniques at all. Commanding Presence is the ability to
make people listen to and obey you because you project dominance and
confidence.

Commanding presence is extremely important in pickup and dating.

So often, guys who know sophisticated techniques will not have success
with women because they dont have commanding presence women in-
stantly write them off as losers, without even listening to what they
have to say. They dont project dominance, they are unsure of whether
or not people will listen to them and attach importance to what they
say. People can pick up on this instantly, and are repelled by it.

Many guys have problems opening girls on cold approaches - especially

girls who are in difficult logistical situations, such as talking on a cell
phone, dancing in a loud club, or even just walking in the other direc-
tion on the street. This is because they lack commanding presence.
They are not powerful enough to draw the woman away from whatever
activity she was already engaged in.

In order for a woman to stop and talk to you, you need to be more
commanding than the activity which she is engaged in. For a woman
shopping, your presence must be more commanding of her attention
than shopping. For a woman in a loud club, you must command her
attention more than the music, flashing lights, and other guys. For a
woman on a cell phone, you must command her attention more than
the person who she is talking to.

You will notice as you improve your commanding presence that you
can open women in situations which previously you thought were im-
possible. As you become more and more confident and dominant, you
will command the attention and of women with increasing ease, to the
point where you do not even consider the possibility that a normal,
friendly woman would not give you her attention. Because you are so
sure that you can command a womans attention, your presence will in

30
turn become more and more commanding because of this.

Here are some things you can do to improve your commanding presence:
• Improve your tonality. Are delivering your opener to stop her
in a weak, timid voice? Or, are you saying it slowly, loudly and
confidently?
• Improve your body language. Do you stand in a hunched over,
with bad posture, and look down towards to floor? If so, relax, lean
back, and look people straight in the eye. Make warm, friendly
eye contact, take up space, and all the other things recommended
in the body language section of this guide.
• Improve your image. Dont dress like someone who doesnt pay
attention to their looks. This conveys that you think you are not
attractive, and that you dont think its worth spending time making
yourself look the best that they can. Dont dress in a generic way,
but also, you want to avoid overcompensating and dressing like a
clown. Find cool, tasteful clothes which give you a tight image
and show that you treat yourself well.
• Most important: Improve your beliefs. When you attempt to
stop a woman and get her in a conversation, do you confidently
believe that she will talk to you? If you do, then she will sense the
confidence and authority in your voice, and she will stop. If not,
then she will sense that you really dont expect her to stop, and
will get a weird vibe from you. Thus, she wont stop. Theres many
things you can do to improve your beliefs, including improving
your body language, tonality, image, and by repeated successful
experiences in social situations.. You can also improve your be-
liefs directly through various exercise to reframe your experiences
positively, which are taught in our workshops and bootcamps.

9 Vocal Tonality
Another very important factor which will make a man more attractive is
his vocal tonality. If your tonality is not good, even the smoothest, most
genuine, opening lines are not going to work for you. If your tonality
it is great, however, you can make anything seductive just by virtue of
you saying it.

31
First, you need to project your voice loudly enough to be heard clearly.
This is especially important in the nighttime, where youre competing
with loud music. You want to strike a balance between being loud
enough to be clearly heard, and not being overly loud. A well-projected
voice lets everyone around you know you think what you have to say is
important, but a too quiet voice is easily ignored. Similarly, a too loud
voice is seen as overcompensation. Most guys, however, err on the side
of being too quiet. Project your voice from your diaphragm, loudly and
powerfully.

Once you have gotten into the habit or projecting your voice well, you
now want to work on the speed of your speech. Again, there is an opti-
mum speed to be most seductive, but most guys talk too fast. In order
to make your voice more attractive, slow down the pace of your voice.
At first it will seem ridiculous, like you are talking in slow motion. With
time, however, you will become habituated to the new, relaxed pace of
your voice. While your old, fast-talking voice conveyed that you were
hurried and uncomfortable, women will be drawn in and entranced by
your new, confident and relaxed pace of speech.

You should also calibrate the pace of your speech to the situation.
In a high-energy, party atmosphere you want to talk slightly faster. In
an intimate moment before a kiss, you want to talk especially slowly.

Another important aspect of your voice is its pitch. A high voice is

viewed by women as weak and feminine. In the daytime, you want to
make your voice deep and resonant. Think of the tone of a hypnotists
voice. He draws you in with his slow rhythm and mesmerizing deep
voice. This is what you should be aiming for in quiet situations.

In loud club situations, your tone should be slightly higher than in the
daytime. This is because if you talk overly deeply in a club, your voice
will be drowned in the bass, and nobody will be able to hear you. Your
tone still should not be ridiculously high, just a little high enough to be
audible.

So, in a daytime situation you want your voice to be loud, slow, deep
and resonant. You want to convey complete relaxation and dominance.

32
In a loud club situation, you want to make your voice slightly higher
and faster, and become even more loud, conveying energy and playful-
ness. We use tonality exercises in each one of our programs to achieve
a seductive tonality in the daytime, and a well-projected, captivating
and fun tonality in the nighttime. In addition, we coach all our clients
in-field, and give them feedback on their voice, and the ways that they
can improve on it.

10 Image and Stereotypes

We’re all a mix of many different things. Girls, and people in general,
will see different parts of who we are.

So when I get the question ’Can I get success even though I’m ?’
... I shake my head. Insert any of ’short’, ’tall’, ’fat’, ’skinny’, ’old’,
’young’... also insert every race - yes, I’ve seen guys of all races get
nervous and wonder if they can succeed...

This is a common problem. You probably don’t like every single thing
about yourself. Who does? Hopefully you’re trying to work past the
things you don’t like and become the best person you can be.

But what if you’re short? What can be done about that?

Well your height isn’t going to change. But I don’t think that’s re-
ally what you care about.

No, what you care about is bedding beautiful women and getting plenty
of respect out of everyone you meet.

Regardless of your height, you can bed plenty of beautiful women, and
have very hot girlfriends.

Something Very Important:

The image you put forward has to be stronger than any negative stereo-
types about you.

Read that again.

33
The image you put forward has to be stronger than any nega-
tive stereotypes about you.

If you’re short, you don’t want people to think ’Wow, he’s a short
guy’ when they meet you. You don’t want to give off a ’short vibe’.

Instead, you want to have some sort of powerful and positive image.

When a 20-year old woman sees Mel Gibson, does she think, ’He’s old’ ?

No way!

She thinks he’s a rockstar, and seems fun and cool and successful.
Look at Hugh Hefner, even.

Hugh is a bazillion years old, but his image is one of a certified, le-
gitimate, full-on playboy. And successful businessman and very cool
and fun guy to socialize with.

What does this mean to you?

The image you put forward has to be stronger than any nega-
tive stereotypes about you.

A common question I get is, ’I’m race, can I get race of woman?’

Just last weekend, I had a student ask an interesting question. He

was a cool guy, decent looks, good style. And yet he asked me,

’Can I get white women even though I’m Asian?’

I was blown away - and I told him of course he could, but he had
to have a stronger image than something generic.

My image is not ’white’. If the first thing a woman thought when

she saw me was ’This guy is white’, then I’d be in trouble. I’d be super-
boring.

34
Think typical ’suburban guy’. I don’t have a suburban guy image.

The thing is, Caucasian is the majority in America. If you’re Cau-

casian in America, any image is stronger than the fact you’re white.

Whereas if you’re another race, it might be a stronger image.

This works for and against some races that are stereotypical as be-
ing powerful and masculine.

But what if you’re not one of those? The sad reality is that some
races have stereotypes attached to them in certain places.

Here’s what you need:

The image you put forward has to be stronger than any nega-
tive stereotypes about you.

I used to work out at a gym that had guys that looked to be Tri-
ads in them. Y’know, Chinese mafia. Ripped, dragon-tattooed guys,
shaved heads, hot girlfriends and luxury cars and nice clothes and a
’Don’t mess with me’ look.

When any woman looked at one of these guys, she didn’t think, ’He’s
Asian.’ She thought ’He’s powerful’ or ’He’s a gangster’ or ’He’s buff.’

As an example, let’s compare two Chinese guys I knew. One went

to that gym. He was about 5’5, but he was *jacked*. Muscles upon
muscles.

They called him ’the bull’. No joke. I called him ’el toro’ very, very
respectfully. This guy had women all over him - black, white, latin, and
of course Asian as well.

On the other hand, I knew a Chinese computer-programmer. He had

thick glasses and wore frumpled clothing and slouched over.

He had no image, so women would lump him into the category of

’asexual Asian guy’ - They’d buy into the stereotype that he’s asexual,

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because -

The image he put forward was not stronger than the negative stereo-
types around him. When I told this to my Asian student last weekend,
he started to ’get it’. By the end of his program, he was picking up
girls of various races normally.

Everybody’s got something that’s unappealing to some group of women.

You’re either young or old or too skinny or too fat or too short or too
tall or... something.

I got to make a brief pass through France recently. You can bet your
last nickel that I didn’t want people to think ’American’ right off the
bat. I wanted women to think ’Wow, what a stylish powerful guy.’

When women would ask where I was from, I’d tell them to guess. I
was getting a lot of ’Amsterdam’, ’Italy’, and ’Russia’. That means I
was doing something right - I didn’t put off the negative vibe associated
with Americans in France.

I’m still American. But it wasn’t what I put forward.

I’ve been to parties where I was the only white person in the room.
Hell, I’ve been to parties where I was the only person in the room that
didn’t speak fluent Mandrin, Spanish, or Creole. But I’d keep a warm
smile and a good vibe, and yeah, everyone knew I was white... but I
wasn’t ’the white guy’.

Think on that. If you’re wondering, ’Am I too short?’ ... then think of
if you put off a short vibe. Tom Cruise is pretty short. I’ve had students
at short as 5’2.

In fact, the shortest student I’ve ever had slept with 3 women within 2
months of meeting with me. Thing was, he didn’t identify with being
a ’short guy’. He didn’t have a ’short vibe’. No, he acted like a high-
rollin’ playboy type, and the women bought right into that.

Cultivate an image for yourself. If you have a weak image, then people
will pick something arbitrary about you and assume the stereotypes.

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If you have a solid image, your age, race, height, and all those other
things you have no control over - They fade to black.

And you get the girls you want.

11 The Next Step

This article is not a complete guide to pickup and dating it is only the
beginning. Learning how to meet women effectively is important. By
learning the attitudes and behaviors in this article, you will undoubtedly
be well on your way.

But, you need to master much more than this to escalate an inter-
action with a woman all the way to sex, and also to establish a good
relationship, exclusive or open, with her afterwards.

Such a change may seem drastic to you, and it is. You may be asking
yourself, if you are not currently having any success with woman, how
you could ever possibly change into a truly attractive guy who can get
any woman he wants?

We believe in order to make such a change, information you read on the

internet is not a complete solution. The internet can help, but in order
to make a real change, you need real-life experience in the field. You
may even want personalized attention from real masters of pickup and
dating. At best, reports like this are only complements to our real-life
programs.

At our Seminars and In-Field Workshops, youll work with instructors

Vincent and Sebastian in a small group setting, as they coach you
through difficulties you are having in all stages of your interactions with
women. In the classroom seminar, you are given the tools you need
which will give you an edge on all other guys, and take your game to
the next level.

Youll hear two of the worlds best pick-up artists and dating masters
teach you about the basics of body language, tonality, image and style,
vibing, and all the other topics mentioned above, which are essential

37
for attracting women.

The groups are kept small as the student to instructor ratio is lim-
ited. We wont just give you a bunch of techniques, we change your
core identity through working directly with your inner beliefs.

After weve supercharged your game in the seminar, we will take you
out into the field and coach you interacting with women in real time.
We will point out your mistakes and sticking points, and give you tar-
geted feedback.

Well work with you on any component of the game where you need
work, be it opening, number closing, kissing a girl, or holding an inter-
esting conversation. Well even work with you on phone game.

If you check out our reviews, you will see we care about your suc-
cess and will give you personalized attention every step of the way. The
field work will take place in both daytime and nighttime venues, pro-
viding you with the skills to meet and attract women anywhere, anytime.

You will still need motivation and hard work to achieve success, but
if you have them the skills that you learn in the workshop can save you
literally years of crashing and burning with women, and years of frus-
tration and loneliness from going home alone, night after night. You
can benefit instantly from our collective years of experience, and boost
your game to the next level in one weekend.

If youre interested in learning more about our programs, visit our web-
site, http://www.the-approach.net. Also, be sure to check out our soon
to be released e-book, detailing not only our fundamental methods of
generating attraction and escalation, but also some brand new advanced
concepts not found anywhere else.

If you have any questions, feel free to drop us a line at our website.

Yours Truly,

Vincent DiCarlo and Sebastian Drake

Founders, theApproach

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12 Testimonials
’I was literally trusting these guys with my life, and I could not be hap-
pier. I came to the bootcamp with a completely open mind. It was
great and I learned so much. If I did not do this I may or may not have
gotten to the level of where I want to be, but if I ever did get there,
it will save me years of my time. I dont think there is many things as
valuable as this.’

-Brian K. of New York City

’Sebastian is one of the best pick-up artists I’ve had the pleasure of
meeting - his game is top-notch in all ways... He knows all about the
learning process. Highly recommended.’

-Chad of Austin, TX

’Sebastian and Vincent have completely different styles from one an-
other, and both get the same amazing results using theApproach frame-
work and concepts. And there’s a whole underground network of guys
they’ve trained in every city - their former clients. It’s like you become
a part of this exclusive secret society or something.

I still correspond with them through email, we share secrets and all
the latest tricks of the trade and so on. I always remember back - one
time watching Vincent, I realized how easy it was to pick up girls who
already had boyfriends or were married even - I mean it was effortless!
Just knowing that these guys exist was enough to convince me to sign
up, if nothing else, so that they can’t steal my girlfriend!’

-Tim S. of San Fransisco, CA

’Yoooo Vince!

Wasup big man! You wont believe, I have on my todo list since the
seminar to email you a testimonial... but the list is way too long! LOL

Well as far as results, the proof is in the pudding. Attached to this

email are the pics in my car of the chick I met while we were ’in the

39
field’ at the mall. It took me the 2nd date to get in there. The hardest
part was making the time with my schedule to hook up with her. LOL.
J so as u can see Im a happy camper.

You can use anything I say in this email as my testimonial. It truly

is a wonderful feeling that when a girl cancels on me now, I dont even
sweat it, cause I have others in the pipeline waiting to meet me anyway.
Now I have that buffer of ladies I can call on to hook up with. Not
only did the workshop help me in going after any female I desire in my
path, but its made me more successful in business too. Like the pauses
between the flow of my words when I do seminars, and the conversation
exercises when I meet prospects (for business and pleasure!).

You guys are Hitch to the extreme! Forget reading books on this stuff,
in my humble but accurate opinion, no other method has made me
learn more than yours of making us actually do the work out in the field
in real life situations, not just theory. And Im amazed with how those
couple lines you advised me to say to past exs, who have a man, but
still keep them as a bootycall...worked!’

-Raj of New York City

’I feel I am in a unique situation, since I am 45 years old and mar-

ried. And if you saw me, you might not believe I pick up girls half my
age. I took theApproach Bootcamp a few months ago and just recently
did a one day refresher of personal coaching in Boston.

I can’t say enough great things about Vincent and Sebastian. Although
both guys are in their twenties, I was blown away at how well their
method works for someone like me. They identify with me and under-
stand all of my concerns.

Their very smooth and subtle approach is well suited for older men.
They actually pointed out many advantages we as older men have with
younger women. For example, young women love older men if they
have class and sophistication. They also reminded me of all the posi-
tive things I have personality wise to offer women.

In addition, my wife loves the changes she has seen in me, and is

40
convinced the program has strengthened our relationship.’

-Vlad G of Boston, MA

’I’m really glad I took theApproach. I took a bootcamp with two addi-
tional days of personal coaching and it paid off huge.

Before I took the program, I was a fat, poorly dressed loser. Now,
I can’t guarantee you’ll have the results I did, but I was serious about
improving.

When I met Sebastian for my bootcamp, he started going through

Attitudes with me. He asked me why any woman would be lucky to
have me. I said she wouldn’t. He asked me if I liked myself. I said I
didn’t.

He taught me for a bit longer, then told me: ’I can tell you’re seri-
ous about success. Do you want the truth?’ I did. He went on, ’I can
teach you all the tech in the world, and it’s all golden, but you’ll never
reach the highest levels with your attitude. Are you willing to change
how you think?’

I was! The first day, we started looking at which of my attitudes were

good and which weren’t. Which made me happy and which didn’t.
Sebastian taught me about the ’Lottery of Attitudes’ and how where
we’re born and stuff that happens when we’re very little shape most
people’s entire lives.

I was feeling better. ’Chance hasn’t been easy on you. It wasn’t on me

either and I’m here right now before you, dating beautiful and amazing
women, and living my dream of teaching people to do better things.
Are you willing to change?’ I said yes.

Sebastian related his story to me, and told me how he once was worse
off than me in a lot of ways. I found it unbelieveable when he told me
how he used to look and act.

I was determined to get better. At the end of the first day, I told
Sebastian I wanted to practice all night before I saw him tomorrow. He

41
told me to hold on and got on his cell phone, and called a friend of his
who is both a personal trainer and a former student.

I went out with Sebastian’s trainer friend and we practiced after the
program hours were over. The next morning, I went to the gym with
him and lifted weights and broke up a big sweat. It hurt a lot but it
felt good too.

I showered and came to day 2 of the program. Sebastian reinforced

some of the attitudes he’d already worked on with me, then started
into the basics of approaching and initiating conversation.

Things were going well. I flew through day 2, and Sebastian said I
was really talented for going at such a good pace. I felt very comfort-
able with him the whole time and he made me feel really good.

That night, I practiced solo and women were opening up to me. I

liked what I saw.

The next day, I was pretty sore still from the gym, but I felt good.
I met up with Vincent and we went shopping for clothes for me. Vin-
cent TOTALLY changed up my style, taking me from beyond bad to
looking really really sharp.

I got a new haircut and Vin brought in his girlfriend of the time who
worked in the fashion industry to help me get the most cutting edge
style and find good bargains at the same time.

I was really happy with how I got dressed up and I was feeling really
good in my new clothes. I said goodbye to Vin’s girlfriend at mid-day
and we worked all on conversational skills, then more fieldwork. I was
a bit frustrated at this part of the program since there’s so many skills,
but Vin took good care of me and said it’s natural for it to take a while
to seep in.

As we were wrapping up day 3 Vin got a call and answered it, then
handed the phone to me. Sebastian asked if I wanted to work out in
the morning. I said hell yes, of course I do.

42
He told me to get plenty of sleep that night and eat a good break-
fast in the morning.

I met Sebastian before the program and we worked out together. It

was pretty cool to have him do that for me. He told me he’s happy to
match the dedication level of the student and I was being very dedicated.

We broke from the gym a few hours before the program was going
to start, and Sebastian said he needed a nap. He went and got some
sleep, but I couldn’t help but go practice my developing skills in a book-
store.

I went in with Sebastian’s favorite opener on a girl in the cafe and

we talked for two hours. I got her number when I had to leave for the
start of the program!

I met Sebastian and Vincent actually came along as well free of charge.
Vin had explained to me when I signed up that you can get 1:1 personal
coaching time, but a lot of times if Sebastian or he is free and in the
same area, they’ll go two instructors to one student.

Well it was very cool having both guys. I got to see a couply demon-
strations with Sebastian or Vincent explaining what the other was doing
in real time. It was also cool to see how they worked together and got
things going.

At this point, I had already improved my health, style, and attitudes. I

had learned how to approach and the execution behind good conversa-
tion. Now it was time for the heavy stuff.

The got into screening, qualifying, touching, cold reading, and other
skills. I learned a lot of advanced techniques but I was able to start
doing a lot right away. Things were coming together great.

We covered a wide range of subjects and then got out there. I got
four phone numbers and a kiss! Amazing!

I felt better, looked better, and was doing much better. After we broke,
I called one of my female friends and she said I sounded totally different

43
on the phone. I asked how and she said ’Totally alive.’

As per Sebastian’s recommendation, I called the girl I met in the book-

store earlier that night. I used some of the storytelling and screening
techniques I had learned and demonstrated my interest in a good way,
not a chasing way.

The last day of my custom program, I was really sore but it was a
good sore. I felt tired but energized. I moved a bit stiffly from the
weights yesterday but it was all good. I looked great in my new clothes.

I came to the last of day of my personal coaching program. Vin and Se-
bastian were both there again. Vin taught relationship skills, Sebastian
taught the basics of good sex, and they went over the full structure of
a pickup together. They covered miscellaneous skills, answered all my
remaining questions, and gave me exercises to do to keep getting better.

We did a little more field work and things were going really well. I
got a few more numbers and another kiss. They did my final debrief,
then Sebastian saw a really hot blond chick as we were ready to break.
He said ’Go, she’s all yours.’

I went in and started running my game. Things were so fluid it was out
of this world. I was sore and I felt like my movements might’ve been
kind of jerky from lifting weights but it didn’t even matter. At the end,
I invited this beautiful beautiful blond girl back to my place for dinner
and drinks...

The program has been amazing to me. It’s been three weeks and
I’ve slept with three women, including the girl from the bookstore and
the blond girl. I’m actually looking to settle down once I find the right
woman, but right now I’m going to have some fun before I do.

I got a gym membership and I’m doing full body workouts three times
a week. I feel so much more happy and successful, and I’m meeting
so many more women. A lot of women in my life that were looking
right past me and taking me for granted now are trying to get with me.
Haha too late!

44
I’m so glad I took theApproach and I can’t thank Vincent and Se-
bastian enough. I don’t know if everyone can have my results, but if
everyone can get even 1/10th of what I did, it’s worth every penny.
Life-changing, motivating, empowering, amazing performance. Vin-
cent, Sebastian, thank you. You are gods among men.’

-Phil Anderson, Newton, MA

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