Confessions of Love, Lust, cheating, Hurt and Disappointment.

After a year or more of my wife's cyber & phone affairs we are finally getting d ivorced. Use of the Spector software was the key to knowing what was really goin g on.I intend to use my experiences to help others deal with similar situations. My wife and I were married for 23 years. Within six months she went from knowin g nothing of the computer to becoming completely obsessed with the Internet. I g uess I was too trusting - she sent gifts to new "friends", staying on the Intern et for 8 to 10 hours at a time, rarely spent time with my two sons and I. It tur ned out she was paying for car sex. She left me and my sons but only after doing as much damage as possible - such as making outrageous remarks to my sons, fami ly members, etc. This experience has been absolutely devastating. I haven't been back to work in 15 months. I'm raising my sons with pride. As a family we're ok ay but I haven't yet found a way to regain my own spirit. Thanks for your effort to help others. It does feel good to know you are not alone. We got a computer about 1 & 1/2 years ago and then the internet. One of my wifes friends hooked her up to ICQ. I didn't think much of it until she was up half t he night chatting. Then she put a Password on ICQ to, "keep the kids off", but s he wouldn't tell me the password because I was "invading her privacy". Then one day, I stumbled across stored E-mail, And found some where she talked to a frien d about an ICQ buddy who told her he loved her. She then asked her friend not to tell me anything. My suspicions were aroused when I couldn't find the phone bil l, but it had been paid. I looked for it and found it hidden in the closet. It h ad 3 calls to another country on it. Then I noted missing floppies, found those in the same place, and 1 actually had a webcam picture of some guys erect penis on it. I confronted her with the evidence, asked her if she "cybered" and she ve hemently denied it. Nothing was resolved, and then I found a jpeg on the compute r of her naked. She had taken the picture of herself with a polaroid camera. She sees nothing wrong with what she has done and seems furious that I have "invade d her privacy" and that I am "trying to control her" She has refused to take cou nseling, but I chose to and learned how not to let my emotions rule my thoughts and actions. We are still together, but there is no trust in the relationship an d it is only for economic reasons that we remain together. me and my wife have been married for ten years and i never really thought that t his would happened to me. she only new the guy for three days we have two little girls and i love her so much will she ever come back to me? For many months my wife's use of her laptop has been increasing. She spends more than a 150 hours a month on-line. I know she has been chat cheating and it led to at least 2 physi cal contacts out of the country. She was foolish enough to save some of her memo rable chat sessions on disks and I found them. I have been devastated. We have 2 children 11 & 14 and our entire lives have suffered from this. I confronted her and we have just begun counseling. She still goes online whenever she can so I think I need monitoring software. They are so into this, they will NEVER admit t o it! I am a husband who loves his wife and family very much. I am responsible f or introducing my wife to ICQ and I regret it to this day. Although I believe th e program to have it's good points, there are "cowards" out there who will use t his program to their own selfishness. I have been married 12 years and for the p ast year, my wife has been in contact with one or possibly two of these "cowards ". I have a career that has long hours away from home and my wife does not work. This gives her the opportunity to engage in possible internet infidelity. I hav e made every effort to get her to stop but she is too far gone now I fear. We ha ve had our problems as most marriages do, but I have never thought once of cheat ing on my wife, although the opportunity for me to do so was always there. I fee l that I maybe imagining this but as I get more information on this matter, I be lieve my suspicions are well founded. She left me and took the children with her in the middle of May. We communicate but she is distant to me and cold most of the time. I warn husbands and boyfriends who value their relationship to be awar e if this is happening to you! If you value your relationship, you will do all y

ou can to stop this very dangerous practice. my wife had been cheating on me for almost two months. He was a friend. They would talk after i went to sleep and e ventually started doing sexual things. It got to where they were talking and ema iling one another without my knowledge. i caught them in some sexual acts and en ded the friendship immediately. So we began to repair our relationship and all s eemed to go well. Then I had a gut feeling that things were still not right. I b egan to try and figure out her password to see if they still had something going on. Well whaam, i got in. I found out that they hadnt missed a beat. they were still talking. they even went as far as to start meeting somewhere. Planning it. I called her work and asked her what she had planned after her drs. appt.the ne xt day?? she asked me what i meant and i replied with where their favorite spot is that they like to meet. she was very suprised. she replied with please dont d o anything, i will be home soon. well, we have been able to discuss it and we st ill are going to try and work it out. so far things seem to be going well. I rea lly hope so, cause I really love her...thank you for listening. (reading) I am a 49 year old male who is currently married. my wife is having an affair and she does not know i am aware of it. i would love to meet a woman that can love me an d realize the good man i am My wife been cheating on me for 4 months. It is real hard for me to trust her. she was my best friend but everything change we been together for 10 years the guy she been with is not good looking and don't have n othing going for him. i on the other hand am a good looking guy and work am attractive, successful, fun, good in bed, etc. My girlfriend was beautiful, s mart, fun, and we were like the perfect couple. Then she cheated on me. I dumped her. It was horrible and painful. A few months later, she came crawling back, b egging me to take her back, and I did. She promised it would never happen again. Well guess what? After a year together she started doing it again. She must hav e slept with 5 or 6 more guys...it totally destroyed our relationship and I had to get rid of her for good. I have learned that women are emotional junkies...th ey are slaves to their own emotions. For a woman, love is just a feeling. But fo r a man, or at least for me, love is a commitment you make in SPITE of your feel ings. It is a decision "for better or for worse" to work things out, no matter w hat. But I can't count on a woman to make that kind of commitment. She is a woma n - she will go with her feelings. As soon as she doesn't feel "in love," all be ts are off! Because of this, I no longer trust women. I don't think they can be counted on for truth or fidelity...thus I cannot respect them either. And becaus e of that, because I can no longer trust or respect women, I plan not to get int o another relationship. I have become a player. I use women for sex because I ho nestly don't believe they are good for anything else. When was the last time you heard a woman say, "word is bond" ? NEVER because they don't think in those ter ms. I wish things weren't this way, I grew up believing in the cartoon version o f romance. But this seems to be how they behave so I might as well enjoy them fo r what they're good for (sex). My partner recently cheated on me with someone th at she met online! She has a myriad of excuses/rationalizations as to why she ch eated. I'm sad to say that she has chosen to continue seeing her cyber lover ove r our relationship.