Success Habits workshop

S G Raja Sekharan

Let us start with some introspection

Can you describe briefly your dream job In 5 years what do you aspire to be In 10 years what do you aspire to be In 15 years - what do you aspire to become What current salary would make you feel good Beyond dream salary and dream job, what else do you want (in the next 1-2 years) What do you want out of life in the long run

How will the success habits help you

Get control of your life Make smarter decisions Improve your relationships with your friends Get along better in society Define your values what matters more to you Get more done in less time Find balance between work, family, friends and everything else

T he Seven habits
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Be proactive Take responsibility for your life Begin with the end in mind Define your mission and goals in life Put first things first prioritize, and do the most important things in life Think Win Win have an everyone can win attitude Seek first to understand and then to be understood Listen to people sincerely Synergise Work together to achieve more Sharpen the Saw Renew yourself regularly

Be Proactive Begin with the end in mind Put first things first

Be Proactive Begin with the end in mind Put first things first

Have you heard statements such as

My career has taken a beating because of various reasons beyond my control I feel that I have done as well as others but I dont see my case being taken up by my boss well enough I am open I am giving the option to my HOD to make the necessary changes to my role If I had her / his looks, Id be popular too There is nothing I can do I have to do it because ..

Proactivity Defined:

Stimulus

Response

Proactivity defined:

I am the force, I am the captain of my life. I choose my attitude. I am responsible for my own happiness or unhappiness. I am in the drivers seat of my destiny I am not just a passenger. Proactive people make choice based on values they think before they act they are calm, cool and in control. Reactive people make choice based on impulse.

Our language will tell us whether we are Proactive or Reactive

Reactive language

Proactive language

I will try There is nothing I can do I have to You ruined my day

I will do it Lets look at options I choose to I am not going to let your bad mood rub off on me

Reactive vs Proactive people

Reactive people

Proactive people

Blame others Whine and complain Wait for things to happen to them Are easily offended Get angry and say things they regret later

Take responsibility for their choices Are not easily offended Think before they act Bounce back when something bad happens Always find a way to make things happen Focus on things they can do something about, and dont worry about things they cant

Circle of Concern

Circle of Influence

Circle of Concern

Circle of Influence

Its your life, take charge

Take charge of your life; Don't wait for anybody: Take the initiative always. Every situation, presents various limitations for performance

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Understand what can be influenced by you (circle of influence) Dont worry about what you cant influence (circle of concern)

Focus your energies on things you can control rather than worrying about things over which you have no control.

So much has been given to me. I have no time to ponder that which has been denied

Helen Keller

On the road of life, there are passengers and there are drivers . drivers wanted

Volkswagen commercial

Proactivity means telling ourselves that:

We are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions not our conditions. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen first I take responsibility and then I have a Can Do attitude.

They cannot take away our self respect, if we do not give it to them
Mahatma Gandhi

No one can hurt you without your consent

Eleanor Roosevelt

Here is a good example I found :

Whether I fail or succeed shall be no mans doing but my own. I am the force. I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice, my responsibility; win or loose, only I hold the key to my destiny

What can I do today to start this Habit:

We arent completely proactive or completely reactive we are somewhere in between. The key is to get into habit of being proactive more than before. Some of the things that we can do: Do something today that you always wanted to do but never dared. If you get into a fight /misunderstanding, be the fist to apologize. Listen carefully to how many times you use reactive word like I cant ___ , They make me____ , I have to ____ . Identify something that is in your circle of no control an stop worrying about it Ask yourself what is my most unhealthy habit and do something about it. Stick a Post It note I am not going to let _____ decide how I feel. and refer to it often.

Be Proactive Begin with the end in mind Put first things first

Lets just go through this scenario

Relationship

Character/ contribution / achievements

Father/ Spouse / Friend

Your mission statement

What you have just written is what you want to be what is most important to you You have a purpose in life. You know in your heart what's most important to you. In fact, your mission and values are expressed every day, by how you live - you just may not realize it

Begin with the end in mind

Begin with the end in mind means developing a clear picture of where you want to go with your life. It means deciding what your values are and setting goals. Habit 1 (Be proactive) says - Be the driver not the passenger Habit 2 (Begin with the end in mind) says Since you are the driver, decide where you want to go and draw a map to get there

Personal mission statement:

A *personal mission statement* is a brief description of

what you want to focus on, what you want to accomplish and who you want to become in a particular area of your life over the coming years.

It is a way to focus your energy, actions, behaviors and decisions towards the things that are most important to you

Examples of a mission statements

I aspire to gain the respect and admiration of others by being open, honest, fair and reliable. I will treat all people with the respect I want and will expect little, but will give a lot. I will keep to my word and will finish what I have started. To educate, motivate and enable myself and all those who know me to achieve self actualization and become everything that God destined us to be. I WILL be a better daughter, sister, student, teammate, and friend by improving on my qualities like organization, responsibility, and compassion. I WILL become a respected and noted leader to those who surround me through taking charge and succeeding in difficult situations."

Begin with the end in mind

It means to start with a clear understanding of your destination and a clear understanding of where you are now so that the steps that you take are always in the right direction

Begin with the end in mind

It means to begin today with the image, picture of your end of life as your frame of reference by which everything else is examined. Each part of your life todays behavior, tomorrows behavior, next weeks behavior, next months behavior can be examined in the context of the whole, of what really matters to you most. We may be very busy, very efficient -but we will be truly effective only if we begin with the end in mind

All things are created twice first is mental creation and then comes the physical creation

There is always a first creation and a second creation

Before we go on a trip, we plan it first in the mind Before we build a house, we plan it first on paper All athletes are visualizers they see it, feel it, visualize it before they actually do it

If we dont take responsibility of the first creation Someone else will do it for us and we will be in reactive mode

To the extent we understand this concept of two creations and take responsibility for both we increase our circle of control

Begin with the end in mind Next steps

Once you have a mission in place go for the GOALS it is more specific, more measureable and it breaks the mission into achievable steps with time deadlines Count the cost of not achieving the goals what will happen if you do not achieve the goals Put the goal to paper write it Just do it - Dont say Ill try; Say I will. When you truly commit to achieving something, circumstances come together to help you achieve it Share your goals with people close to you take their help and advice.

What can I do today to start this Habit

Fine tune the mission statement today to make in closer to what is truly important to you Review your mission statement daily for 30 days let it guide you in all your decisions Determine three most important skills that you will need to get what you aspire for make a plan to improve on those skills and implement it Start writing a personal diary where you can honestly appraise the events of the day and how you felt about it

Be Proactive Begin with the end in mind Put first things first

The three habits defined:

Habit 1 (Be proactive) says - Be the driver not the passenger Habit 2 (Begin with the end in mind) says Since you are the driver, decide where you want to go and draw a map to get there Habit 3 ( Put first things first) says Get there Dont let road blocks knock you off course

Lets start with a question to self

What are the top 4 activities that currently take up most of your time

What are the top 4 activities you would like to spend most of your time

Time Management Matrix

Urgent tasks

Tasks that require immediate attention. These are usually visible tasks they press on us these tasks insist on action they are often easy tasks, fun to do.

Important tasks

Tasks that require more initiative, more proactivity. These tasks contribute to your mission, your high priority goals.

Time Management Matrix

Urgent Not urgent

Important

Quadrant I

Quadrant II

Not important

Quadrant III

Quadrant IV

Time Management Matrix

Urgent THE PROCRASTINATOR Not urgent

Important

Friend gets injured Late for work Project due today Vehicle breaks down

Quadrant II

Not important

Quadrant III

Quadrant IV

Time Management Matrix

Urgent THE PROCRASTINATOR Not urgent

Important

Friend gets injured Late for work Project due today Vehicle breaks down THE YES MAN Unimportant phone calls Others small problems Peer pressure Interruptions

Quadrant II

Not important

Quadrant IV

Time Management Matrix

Urgent THE PROCRASTINATOR Not urgent

Important

Friend gets injured Late for work Project due today Vehicle breaks down THE YES MAN Unimportant phone calls Others small problems Peer pressure Interruptions

Quadrant II

Not important

THE SLACKER Too much TV Endless phone calls Work politics Other time wasters

Time Management Matrix

Urgent THE PROCRASTINATOR Not urgent THE PRIORITIZER Paper due in a week Exercise Relaxation Planning, Goal setting THE SLACKER Too much TV Endless phone calls Work politics Other time wasters

Important Not important

Friend gets injured Late for work Project due today Vehicle breaks down THE YES MAN Unimportant phone calls Others small problems Peer pressure Interruptions

Time Management Matrix Quadrant I personality

Urgent

Not urgent Quadrant II

Important

THE PROCRASTINATOR

Stress and anxiety Burnout Mediocre performance

Quadrant IV

Not important

Quadrant III

Time Management Matrix Quadrant III Personality Urgent Quadrant I Not urgent Quadrant II

Important

THE YES MAN Reputation of being a pleaser Lack of discipline Feeling victimized - like a doormat for others to wipe their feet on Shallow, broken relationships

Quadrant IV

Not important

Time Management Matrix Quadrant IV Personality Urgent Quadrant I Not urgent Quadrant II THE SLACKER Lack of responsibility Guilt Not successful in any job

Not important

Important

Quadrant III

Quadrant IV

Time Management Matrix Quadrant II Personality Urgent Quadrant I Not urgent

Important

THE PRIORITIZER Control of your life Balance Discipline High performance Few crisis

Quadrant II

Not important

80% of the results flow from 20% of the activities

Pareto principle

Time Management Matrix

Urgent THE PROCRASTINATOR Not urgent THE PRIORITIZER Paper due in a week Exercise Relaxation Planning, Goal setting THE SLACKER Too much TV Endless phone calls Work politics Other time wasters

Important Not important

Friend gets injured Late for work Project due today Vehicle breaks down THE YES MAN Unimportant phone calls Others small problems Peer pressure Interruptions

How can we be prioritizers

Shrink Quadrant 1 by procrastinating less Say NO to quadrant 3 activities Cut down on Quadrant 4 Slacker activities Pick up a planner Plan weekly

Identify Big / Important tasks eg Self education, time with friends, exercise 3 times this week etc etc Block out time for these Big / Important tasks Schedule everything else after scheduling the big tasks Adapt daily

We all need to become Quadrant II self managers

Identify roles

Proactive faculty, colleague, friend, son / daughter, brother /sister Individual in the next 1 year, I would improve myself as a human being, be more positive, proactive and helpful to people. I must have more closer relationships that what I have today Introspect every day for 30 minutes on what I could have done well and what I did well Observe people on areas that they are better than me and get to know them, Try to be more positive all the time introspect as to why I am not, Proactively commit to time with friends every week, Take time out every week to help people etc etc

Select Goals

Detailed areas of Activity

Daily Planning -

The weekly planner

M Y W EEK L Y P L A N Faculty, friend, Son / daughter, Indiv idual R o le s M o n d a y T u e sd a y W e d n e sd a T h u r sd a y F r i d a y y 5 . 0 0 -6 . 0 0 6 . 0 0 -7 . 0 0 7 . 0 0 -8 . 0 0 8 . 0 0 -9 . 0 0 9.00 - 10.00 1 0 . 0 0 -1 1 . 0 0 1 1 . 0 0 -1 2 . 0 0 1 2 . 0 0 -1 . 0 0 1 . 0 0 -2 . 0 0 2 . 0 0 -3 . 0 0 3 . 0 0 -4 . 0 0 4 . 0 0 -5 . 0 0 5 . 0 0 -6 . 0 0 6 . 0 0 -7 . 0 0 7 . 0 0 -8 . 0 0 8 . 0 0 -9 . 0 0 9 . 0 0 -1 0 . 0 0 S a tu r d a y S u n d a y

AM

PM

The key is not to prioritize whats on your schedule but to schedule your priorities

Lets revisit the question we asked ourselves early:

What are the top 4 activities that currently take up most of your time

What are the top 4 activities you would like to spend most of your time Which quadrant do these answers fit in?

Where do we falter in habit 3 Putting first things first:

It is not our inability to prioritize?

It is our inability of overcome fear and peer pressure.

Comfort zone and courage zone

Comfort zone

Things I enjoy doing Easy to do Relaxation Freedom from risk Things I am accustomed to Things that I am afraid of Things that I have never tried Hard moments Things that are difficult Opportunity Bravery Higher duty

Courage zone

Never let your fears make your decisions

Some of the things you could do in courage zone

Make a new friend Resist peer pressure Break an old habit Develop a new skill Try out for a team Be yourself

Never let your fears make your decisions Be strong in hard moments

Where do we falter in habit 3 Putting first things first:

It is not our inability to prioritize?

It is our inability of overcome fear and peer pressure.

Overcoming peer pressure

Saying NO when all your friends are saying YES needs raw courage To overcome peer pressure, youve got to care more about what think of you that what your peers think of you Peer pressure is hard to resist because you are dying to belong Not all peer pressure is bad

How do you overcome Peer pressure

Build self confidence and self respect build it step by step, make promises to yourself and keep it, help someone in need, develop a talent, forge your own path Write a mission statement and set goals

What can I do today to start this Habit

Set a goal to use a Planner for one month everyday Identify your biggest time waster and work to reduce it in the next one week Think of something that you have procrastinated for long block time this week in your planned to get it done Say no to something that you believe is not your priority for the day today Identify the people who have the most influence on you ask yourself Am I doing what I want to do or what they want me to do

Being Proactive Begin with the end in mind Managing time

How will the success habits help you

Get control of your life Make smarter decisions Improve your relationships with your friends Get along better with society Define your values what matters more to you Get more done in less time Find balance between work, family, friends and everything else

T he Seven habits
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Be proactive Take responsibility for your life Begin with the end in mind Define your mission and goals in life Put first things first prioritize, and do the most important things in life Think Win Win have an everyone can win attitude Seek first to understand and then to be understood Listen to people sincerely Synergise Work together to achieve more Sharpen the Saw Renew yourself regularly

What is success?

Success is the continuous journey towards achievement of predetermined worthwhile goals - Tom Hopkins The important thing is not where you were or where you are but where you want to get.

Successful people do things which unsuccessful people fail to do

Prioritise Action Start early Follow-up Encourage

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I would like to contribute to your success further If you want, you can reach me for one on one consultations - please mail me at

raja.sekharan@keane.com

Thank you