7 Little Habits That Can Change Your Life, and How to

Form Them
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle
By Leo Babauta

If you could just pick one or two (or seven) habits to create in the next few months — habits that
will have the most impact on your life — what would they be?

I often get asked this question, because people are overwhelmed when it comes to starting
positive life changes.

They ask me: what one or two habits should they start with?

It’s not an easy question. There are so many changes I’ve gone through, from quitting smoking
to simplifying my life to reducing debt to many more. And they’ve all seemed life-changing, and
they’ve all seemed important.

But if I were to start again, and had to pick one or two, it would be the one or two listed below.
The list that follows is in order of what I think I’d do the first 6-7 months of changing my life …
but realize that every person is different. No one should follow my choices exactly — you’ve got
to figure out what works for you.

That said, if you followed the program below, and worked to develop these habits, you’d
probably do pretty well.

“Men’s natures are alike; it is their habits that separate them.” – Confucius

How to Develop the Habits

I’ve written a number of times about developing habits, but here are the basics:

 Do a 30-day challenge, focusing on just ONE habit.

 Write it out on paper, along with your motivations, obstacles, and strategies for
overcoming them.
 Commit fully, in a public way.
 Log your progress.
 Remain publicly accountable — report on your progress each day.
 Have support for when you falter — either in real life or online.
 Reward every little success.
 If you fail, figure out what went wrong, plan for it, and try again.

Read more:

 13 Things to Avoid When Changing Habits

 How to Establish New Habits the No-Sweat Way
  Engineer Life: Set Up Habit Changes So It’s Hard to Fail
 Autopilot Achievement: How to Turn Your Goals Into Habits

The Seven Little Habits That Can Change Your Life

OK, so now you know how to form a habit — and remember, only do them one at a time — but
you want to know the seven little habits. Here they are, in my order of preference (but yours may
be different):

1. Develop positive thinking. I put this first because I think it’s the keystone habit that will help
you form the other important habits. Sure, positive thinking by itself won’t lead to success, but it
certainly goes a long way to motivate you to do the other things required.

I learned this when I quit smoking — when I allowed myself to think negative thoughts, I would
end up failing. But when I learned how to squash negative thoughts and think positive ones
instead, I succeeded. This discovery lead to me practicing this over and over, until I was able to
form just about any habit I needed. It’s been invaluable to me, and I think it could be to most
people.

Focus on this habit first, and you’ll have a much easier time with any of the others. Start by
becoming more aware of your negative self-talk — do a little tally sheet throughout the day,
marking a tally each time you notice a negative thought. Soon you’ll recognize them, and you
can squash them.

Read more:

 Top Motivation Hack: Positive Thinking

 Can You Spot These 10 Thinking Sins

2. Exercise. People who’ve been hearing me harp on about exercise might roll their eyes. Sure,
exercise is healthy and all that, but how exactly is it life changing? I’m glad you asked:

 It makes you feel better about yourself, and more confident. That leads to better success
with other positive changes.
 It reinforces the positive thinking habit — you need to think positive in order to sustain
exercise.
 It relieves stress and gives you time to think — this leads to better mental well-being in
your life overall.
 It helps with creativity. Don’t ask me to prove it, except to say that my best ideas and
brainstorming sessions come from when I exercise.

Here’s how:

 4 Simple Steps to Start the Exercise Habit

 How to Make Exercise a Daily Habit
 7 Ways to Build the Exercise Habit
3. Single-tasking. The opposite of multi-tasking — you’ve heard me harp on about this one as
well. Why is it life-changing? A couple powerful reasons:

 You’ll be more effective with your tasks and get more done. It’s hard to achieve
important things if you’re constantly switching tasks and distracted by other “urgent”
things.
 You’ll be less stressed overall and (in my experience) happier throughout your day.

Read more:

 How Not To Multi-task: Work Simpler and Saner

 Now Do This and the Single-tasking Philosophy
 The Magical Power of Focus

4. Focus on one goal. Just as focusing on one task at a time is more effective, and focusing on
one habit at a time is more effect, so is focusing on one goal at a time. While it might seem very
difficult, focusing on one goal at a time is the most powerful way of achieving your goals. When
you try to take on many goals at once, you’re spreading thin your focus and energy — the two
critical components for achieving a goal.

What if you have 5 goals you want to achieve? Pick one to focus on first. Break it into a mini-
goal you can accomplish this month, if it’s a longer-term goal. Pick an action you can do today.
Keep doing this until the goal is accomplished — do an action every day, finish the mini-goal,
pick the next mini-goal to work on. Then, when your One Goal is completed, focus on the next
goal.

Some goals are ongoing ones — like blogging every day, or exercising every day. In those cases,
turn them into habits — focus exclusively on turning the goal into a habit, until the habit is
ingrained. Then focus on the next goal.

Read more:

 A Simple Guide to Setting and Achieving Your Life Goals

5. Eliminate the non-essential. First, identify the essential — the things in your life that are
most important to you, that you love the most. Then eliminate everything else. This simplifies
things and leaves you with the space to focus on the essential. This process works with anything
— with your life in general, with work projects and tasks, with emails and other communication.

This will change your life because it will help you to simplify, to focus on what’s important, and
to build the life you want.

Read more:

 Eliminate All But the Absolute Essential Tasks

 Haiku Productivity: The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself to the Essential
6. Kindness. Yes, kindness is a habit. And it can be cultivated. Focus on it every day for a month
and you’ll see profound changes in your life. You’ll feel better about yourself as a person. You’ll
see people react to you differently and treat you better, over the long run. It’s karma.

How do you develop the kindness habit? First, make it a goal to do something kind for someone
each day. At the beginning of the day, figure out what that kind act will be and then do it during
the day. Second, each time you interact with someone, try to be kind, be friendly, be
compassionate. Third, try to go beyond small kindnesses to larger acts of compassion,
volunteering to help those in need and taking the initiative to relieve suffering.

Read more:

 18 Practical Tips for Living the Golden Rule

 Faith in Humanity: How to Bring People Closer, and Restore Kindness
 A Guide to Cultivating Compassion in Your Life
 25 Ways to Help a Fellow Human Being Today
 The No. 1 Lifehack You can Implement Today to Make the World a Better Place

7. Daily routine. It’s so simple, but creating a daily routine for yourself can make a big
difference in your life. The best routines, I’ve found, come at the start and end of the day — both
your workday and your day in general. That means, develop a routine for when you awake, for
when you first start working, for when you finish your workday, and for the end of your evening.

How will that change your life? It will help you get a great start to your day, and finish your day
by preparing for the next day. It’ll help you firmly root the productive habits you want to firm in
your everyday life. It’ll help you focus on what’s important, not just what comes up. It’ll help
you make sure you get done all the things you really want to make sure gets done everyday. And
that can mean a lot.

Previous post:
Life’s Enough: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Next post:
6 Questions to Ask Yourself to Get the Most Out of Life

1111Life-changing training programs and live

experiences
from Zen Habits:
How I Changed My Life for the Better
by David Naidu | 45 comments

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” – Lao Tzu
A few years ago, I decided to change my life for the better. I thought I would write about the
changes I decided to make in case others could benefit from it. There were numerous reasons
why I wanted to make these life alterations, but the main ones were:

1. I knew I was capable of so much more. I wanted to make an effort to exploit my full potential
and accomplish more and I was not doing that.

2. I was not in the best of health. I was too sedentary, out of shape, had visceral body fat around
my waist, I kept late hours, and I drank too much alcohol.

3. My overall lifestyle habits were not conducive towards a healthy and productive life.

4. I wanted to be more mindful and happy and worry less.

I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. That was my motivation. I conducted a lot of
research online and read many books on happiness, health, success, productivity and overall
wellness. After devouring a wealth of information from famous self-help experts and some not
so famous ones, I recognized a commonality between all of them as they pretty much were all
advocating similar strategies.

I carefully and discriminately decided on the changes I would make in my life. I purposely chose
changes that were practical, effective and achievable for me. I wanted lasting changes and not
temporary ones that were based on euphoria. For certain aspects, I made complete 180 degree
changes while for others I made small behavioral changes. I did this because certain changes
were harder for me to make than others.

I came up with a list of 31 specific habits that I wanted to change. Here is what I did:

1. I decided to have a daily routine which I followed diligently. I did not have to wake up in the
morning and figure out what I needed to do because I had a routine that I adhered to. It
eradicated the guesswork.

2. I set clear goals that I wanted to achieve. I wrote these down so that there was no ambiguity.
These goals were specific and clearly stated so that it was obvious when I achieved them (or
didn’t). Because there was no vagueness, I knew when I fell short.

3. Based on the advice of others, I made sure the goals I set were quantifiable and measurable.
For example, rather than saying I would exercise often (what does often mean?), I said that I
would exercise 4 times per week for 1 hour each time. Because my goals were so specific, I was
able to review my progress (or lack of) easily. And I did a review every week.

4. Not only did I develop a daily routine, I also decided to plan my days and week in advance.
Rather than leave things to chance or to what I felt like doing at the moment, I planned each day
and week by listing specific things that I wanted to accomplish. For example, I decided to do my
grocery shopping on a Monday afternoon when the store was less crowded and numerous items
went on sale.
5. I learned to meditate and incorporated that into my daily routine. This one change has made a
huge impact on my life. I now meditate every morning after I wake up. It has taught me so much
about myself, helped me concentrate more, and become more mindful. It also has made me
realize that my thoughts can be extremely rambunctious and that I do not always have to attach
myself to them.

6. I decided to join my local gym and exercise 5 days a week. I do this in the mornings before I
start work. I lift weights and then do a 20-minute cardio workout. My gym also offers classes
(free with the gym membership) such as yoga which I sometimes join.

7. Another change I decided to make was to get rid of or distance myself from friends whom I
considered to be toxic or bad examples. I knew that I wanted friends who had a positive
influence on me.

8. Related to number 7, I started making new friends with people I considered to be positive
influences. I also spent more time with existing friends who shared my goals to be a better
person.

9. I made a commitment to pay closer attention to my nutrition and eat healthier food. I cut out
junk food, sodas, excessive fat, and processed foods. I actually started paying attention to
nutritional labels.

10. I also decided to cook more food at home rather than eating out. I love to cook so this change
was not as difficult for me as for some. I now control what I cook and how much fat is added to
my food. And I have been saving a ton of money by eating out less. And when I do eat out, I try
to order healthier items on the menu.

11. Another change I chose to make pertains to reading. I decided to read more books. I used to
read a lot when I was younger but, somehow, fell out of the habit. I now download great books
on my Kindle app and read them before bed at night on my iPad or phone.

12. I have curtailed my TV viewing and now watch much less television compared to before. I
have used this time to read more.

13. When I do watch TV now, I refrain from watching negative and frivolous programming. I
used to watch reality shows and loved watching crime shows like Unusual Suspects but found
them to have no real merit or educational value. Some of the programs that I used to watch
would actually have a negative impact on me and subliminally get me depressed. My remote
control is now used a lot more discriminately to find shows that are uplifting and educational. I
love channels like National Geographic, Discovery, and PBS.

14. I cannot believe how much time I wasted in the past surfing the internet and visiting web
sites that posted junk. Today, I am more aware of the choices I make with my mouse and I avoid
web sites that predominantly post violent, discriminatory, sexual and useless information.
15. After reading about the virtues of being grateful, I now list 5 things every night that I am
grateful for before I fall asleep. It could be simple things like enjoying a nice meal or spending
quality time with a loved one. This has made me appreciate my blessings so much more and
made me more thankful.

16. A major change I have made in my life is to drastically cut back on the amount of alcohol I
consume. I still drink wine in moderation but I do not indulge in vodka and binge drinking like I
did before.

17. In the past, I managed to convince myself that I was a night owl and definitely not a morning
person. During the week, I now climb into bed by 10PM and wake up much earlier than before.
It took a while for me to adjust my sleep habits and I now realize that it is possible to follow the
adage early to bed, early to rise. I feel so much more rested these days.

18. Another major change I have made in my life is being more careful with my money. I now
am a lot more discriminate when it comes to buying stuff and I have learned to source out great
bargains. I save a lot more than I did before.

19. In addition to saving more money, I also invest my money now. I have become a silent
partner in a business and have also invested in my own business.

20. Rather than spend money buying frivolous stuff that I do not need, I now spend money on
memorable experiences that I know I will cherish. Whether it is going to visit my mother who
lives overseas or going kayaking, I now spend my money on great experiences that teach me a
lot and afford me a lot of fun.

21. I have decided to stay in closer contact with family and friends whom I care about deeply. I
used to be more self-centered and neglected staying in touch with my loved ones. I now take the
time to call my Mom more often, write more personal e-mails and letters, and simply be a better
friend and family member. This has brought me so much closer to those I cherish.

22. One thing that I have changed and do much better now is managing my time. I did not realize
how much I was wasting in a typical day on frivolous things, be it daydreaming, spending time
in a bar, watching boring TV commercials, trolling the internet for useless gossip, etc. I now am
more aware of how I spend the most precious commodity all of us have been given, time.

23. Forgiveness is a big one for me. I can honestly say that I used be bad at forgiving others and
myself. I was equally hard on others whom I perceived had wronged me, as well as on myself for
all my past mistakes. I spent a lot of time learning to forgive myself and others and this has freed
me from so much anger and resentment.

24. In addition to meditation, I have learned to incorporate visualization/guided imagery into my

daily routine. Every morning before I meditate, I visualize and picture outcomes and goals that I
desire. I do not just visualize it; I actually try to feel the feeling of actually accomplishing the
outcome. I have found this to be extremely powerful.
25. I have to admit that I used to be a coward when it came to visiting the doctor or dentist. For
years, I avoided them like the plague. However, I now have chosen to view going to the doctor
and dentist frequently in a more positive light. I schedule visits regularly and my fear has been
greatly reduced. I focus on the fact that prevention is better than cure.

26. In the past, I have been guilty of spending too much time at bars and clubs. I now have cut
back on those activities significantly and substituted them with more wholesome activities. I am
now more likely to go hiking, visiting a state park, taking up photography, bird watching, going
to the beach, joining a yoga class, etc.

27. I learned to not to try and seek the approval of others as I often did before. This was a big
change for me because I definitely tried too hard to please others, even if it meant sacrificing my
authenticity. I would get upset if I incurred the disapproval of others. Instead, I now use my
conscience as my guide and, while I try to be sensitive to how others feel, I do not allow it to run
my life. I know that I cannot please everyone.

28. Another major change I have made in my life is making time to learn new skills and
increasing my knowledge. I am more likely to enroll in a photography class now, or watch a
TED talk, or choose a great documentary on Netflix to watch as compared to before. I read
books on meditation, exercise, nutrition, etc.

29. If there was an award for procrastination, I think I would have been in the running in the past.
I would procrastinate a lot, especially if the task at hand scared me or seemed daunting. I have
greatly improved this tendency and now jump into things without letting fear get the better of
me. I have learned that the small act of starting a task makes all the difference because it builds
momentum and confidence and motivates me to continue.

30. One thing that I do much more now as compared to before is challenging myself to do things
that I consider difficult. In the past, I would shy away from difficult endeavors because I was
scared and did not believe in myself sufficiently. I realize now that many of these fears were
unwarranted. I also know now that challenging yourself is the only way to grow and improve. I
now view the discomfort in a different light. If I am uncomfortable doing something, there is a
good chance it’s because I am taking myself out of my comfort zone and learning something
new.

31. Last and not least, I do my best to love myself now. I do not take myself as seriously and try
to practice unconditional self-love. I make a conscious effort to practice simple but positive
affirmations throughout the day that emphasize self-love and worth.

I have incorporated these changes gradually over time and have found that each of them supports
the other. I’d like to make it clear that in no way am I successful 100% of the time. I am far from
perfect and still have many faults. In fact, I fail often. However, two things have happened: 1. I
fail less often than I did before, probably because, like anything else, things get easier the more
you practice. And 2. When I do fail, I do not let it discourage me like it would have before. I
simply learn from my mistakes, make changes and move on.
I can sincerely say that these changes have made me a happier, more successful and more
equanimous person. I could not have even imagined the life I have right now, and I am still
learning every day.  If I can do it, I know you can, too. I blog about these and other experiences
regularly because I want to share my experiences and help others.

I believe in you. What changes are you going to make in your life?

How to Change Everything About Your Life

in One Year
July 12, 2013 was the last day of my former life. The life where I was a managing partner and
the director of events for a big, swanky, successful nightclub. The life where I was glued to my
Blackberry and kept three pairs of high heels under my desk for easy access before meetings.
By

Amanda Smear Baudier, Contributor

Yoga Teacher & Founder of www.thesocialsutras.com

08/20/2014 12:11pm EDT | Updated October 20, 2014
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control
their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an
email.
July 12, 2013 was the last day of my former life. The life where I was a managing partner and
the director of events for a big, swanky, successful nightclub. The life where I was glued to my
Blackberry and kept three pairs of high heels under my desk for easy access before meetings.
The life where my brain was rife with details like how many mini cupcakes are needed for this
celebrity's birthday and what size red carpet is needed for that glitzy premiere. The life I led for
the better part of a decade before my current self started poking its fragile little wings out of the
cocoon.

Yes, I was indeed fragile at this time last year. A part-time yoga teacher and full-time nothing,
still recovering from a recent heart surgery. Unsure of where to go next but fully present to the
fact that it was way past time to go. Go where? Go in the direction of my dreams. Even though I
was terrified and doubtful and in my darkest moments, quite sure I was making an incredible,
life-altering mistake, I knew unquestionably that it was time. To. Go.

I had a vague inkling that I wanted to move to New Orleans, where I had felt enlivened and yet
relaxed on the many trips my husband and I had made to his hometown. I had an unwavering
desire to pour all of my energy (instead of just my pre-work hours) into yoga and wellness, even
though it might mean scraping pennies together to pay the rent. I had a clear vision of a life that
was more easeful, more balanced, and more light-hearted than the one I was currently living.
From the depths of my being I believed, and still believe, that my heart damage was caused by
ignoring my bliss and silencing the call of my heart (although my cardiologists had a different
diagnosis). I was ready. It's almost like I didn't have a choice. I had to leap.

The essential guide to taking care of your mind and body

Subscribe to HuffPost’s wellness email
Thanks!
You have been successfully signed up.

Sitting here one year later I truly do not recognize my former life. In a year's time, quite literally
every aspect of my life has changed -- for the better. I am finally on my path. MY path. The path
that was calling out to me but being drowned out, ignored, suppressed and shushed for so very
long. A path of learning and teaching yoga. A path of joining, building, and leading
communities. A path of openhearted acceptance for myself and others and a leaning away from
material concerns. A path on which I feel at ease. Sure of my overall direction, if not every
individual twist and turn.

Are you considering making a huge shift? Are you ready to find, follow, or commit to YOUR
path? Here are a few pieces of advice to get you started, now that I'm an old pro at leaping sans
net as the saying goes:

1) Create a vision for your life 10 years from today. This is actually advice I got from a brief
stint working at Lululemon. When I wrote out my 10 year vision, I was living in a big old house
in NOLA, with a yard, three kids, working part time in the yoga/wellness field, wearing yoga
clothes everyday and cooking our all-organic meals from scratch. In other words, I sure as hell
wasn't living in an apartment in NYC, working 70 hours a week and wearing fancy party dresses
whilst rubbing elbows with celebrities. There was nothing "wrong" with either scenario, but my
current life and my ideal future were DRAMATICALLY different. If yours are too, it's time to
make a big change. If in 10 years you TRULY just want to be your right-now self, but with a
bigger paycheck and a better title (and I mean truly -- not because that's what society says) than
you're on the right track. If not... what are you waiting for? Think of how much can happen in
one year if you just take the first step -- today. Next...

2) Devise your short-term strategy. All great transitions begin with a baby step. Mine was
quitting my super-full-time job and taking a somewhat-less-demanding job at Lululemon while I
completed two more intensive yoga teacher trainings and picked up more classes to teach. This
job did not end up being a great fit for me. They wanted more from me than I wanted to give to
them so we parted ways. However, during the few months I worked there I made decent money,
had health insurance long enough for Obamacare to get approved, and secured several private
yoga clients. By the time I left Lululemon, I was one step closer to being the me I wanted to be.
Their surprisingly aggressive insistence on "Vision and Goals" coaching actually gave me the
kick in the ass I needed not to linger there too long. It was the perfect baby step for me. Figure
out what yours is so that initial leap from one life to the next isn't a free fall into a poverty-
canyon of ramen and bus fare.

3) Find mentors who will inspire AND support you. One of the hardest aspects of making a
huge life change is shifting the way others see you AND the way you see yourself. The primary
reason it took me so long to become a full time yogi is because I had put the "yoga teacher"
archetype up on a pedestal. I was too worldly, too flawed, too anxious, too ME to be one of those
goddess-like beings. They inspired me -- for sure -- but I didn't believe I could actually become
one of them. My mentors however, didn't buy it. They saw the teacher in me before I could really
own it myself. They saw the passion behind my fear and self-doubt. They cheered on my little
victories and critiqued me whenever necessary. They coached, encouraged, and sometimes
forcefully coaxed the new me out of the former-me shell. With them monitoring my progress, I
was able to move forward much more confidence and had zero opportunity to throw in the towel.
Somehow I was more OK with disappointing myself than disappointing them. I still remember
one of my beloved mentors taking my class and telling me that I had "grace." That was the
moment I knew I could and would be a full time yogi. Her words were like a coronation. Find
someone like that. No matter how long it takes. They will be the wind that helps sail your ship.

4) Take a realistic look at the risk vs. the reward. I'm going to be real honest here: I had
decent savings in the bank and a husband by the time I decided to take my leap. Yes, we moved
to a new city where neither of us had jobs and we had to start over basically from scratch, but we
also knew we weren't going to be begging on Bourbon Street in a month's time if we weren't able
to get clients/jobs/opportunities right away. What I DID have to give up in order to chase my
dreams were all those little things I used to buy unconsciously when my paycheck was fat and
reliable. No $6 lattes. No $18 cocktails. No nights out on the town where you wake up unsure
where all your money went. I cancelled all my magazine subscriptions and took a vow of shop-
lessness. Yes ladies, my New Year's resolution this year was to not buy ANY clothes, shoes,
jewelry, or non-essential toiletries for one entire year and so far, seven months in, I've stuck to it.
I am making absolutely sure that my current path can provide for all my expenses, without
having to lay awake at night worrying about the electricity bill. I am confident that as time goes
by, my income will gradually increase and my purse strings can be loosened a bit but for now --
I'm living like a college student again and am 100 percent fine with that.

Quitting your job, becoming an entrepreneur, starting a business, moving to a new city, going
back to school, traveling the world for six months, running away and joining the circus -- these
are all AMAZING leaps to take, but they don't necessarily mean bucks coming into your bank
account on the 1st and 15th like working your 9-5 does. Think about your needs, your wants, and
what you can live without. I actually know people who would feel acute suffering if they couldn't
get weekly blowouts and Pinkberry at least every other day. If you are one of those people, you
may want to wait -- and save a bit more -- before making your leap. It's no fun following your
heart if you're spending the whole time crying over your frizz and froyo-less-ness.

5) Ignore the opposition! I don't care if the opposition is wearing a mask that looks like your
best friend or your mama and says they're doing it because, "they love you." Ignore them. Only a
very few people are going to encourage you to change your status quo. Forego security. Fly the
coop. Leave the nest. Make a bold move. Usually, they won't encourage you to do it because
they've never done it themselves. And that's totally fine! Some of the opposition will be people
who do truly care for you and have your best interest in mind. Accept their concern but keep it
moving. If they REALLY care, they'll be there to comfort you on dark days as well as to cheer
for you when you begin to gain some momentum on your dream-chasing.

And then there's the haters. Oh yes, can't forget the haters. They might not specifically hate you,
but they WILL shit on your dream. They'll do it outwardly or passive aggressively. They'll tell
you to your face and/or talk behind your back. I know, because I used to be a hater. I used to
think people who started their own companies were crazy or living on mommy and daddy's dime
or egomaniacs who couldn't get good jobs elsewhere. I know now in hindsight that I felt that way
because I was jealous of these upstarts. And terrified of leaving the security of my own "good
job." Don't hate them back. It's a waste of your energy, and you need ALL your energy to keep
moving on your path. I've discovered haters are really just the owners of deferred dreams. Dryin'
up like raisins in the sun. Haters are like the scary things that pop out during a haunted house
ride. Yes, they'll be all up in your face but they ain't nothin' real to be scared of.

6). Never ever, ever, ever, ever give up. Don't do it. Once you've started, just don't look back.
Don't think, "What if?" Don't wonder what would happen if you had stayed on the old path.
Things won't always go smoothly. There will be failures and mistakes and road blocks oh -- and
haters, don't forget the haters. It won't be easy. But it will get easier. You'll get the hang of the
new you. You'll find your groove. And when you do, then comes the momentum. As if a once-
imagined future is pulling you forward to meet it. And when you feel that, you'll begin to know
that it's really happening. Everything you always hoped but maybe never fully believed could
happen is truly happening. You have the power to do, think, achieve, say, have, and be anything
in the world. It's true. It might take you until your last breath to get there but even then... MAN...
won't it have been worth it? What else in the world could you possibly do when you know, truly
know what it is you would work towards until your last day on earth?
10 Things You Can Do Now to Change Your
Life Forever

Kathryn Sandford

Career Resilience Coach passionate about supporting others to grow and thrive in a complex
world. Read full profile

 Share
 Pin it
 Tweet
 Share
 Email

The one constant thing in our life is change. We cannot avoid it and the more we resist change
the tougher our life becomes.

Trust me, I know this because I was very skilled at deflecting change in my life.

We are surrounded by change and it is the one thing that has the most dramatic impact on our
lives. Change has the ability to catch up with you at some point in your life. There is no avoiding
it because it will find you, challenge you, and force you to reconsider how you live your life.

Change can come into our lives as a result of a crisis, as a result of choice or by chance. In either
situation we are all faced with having to make a choice – do we make the change or not? I
believe it is always better to make changes in your life when you choose to rather than being
forced to.

We however cannot avoid the unexpected events (crisis) in our lives because it is these events
that challenge our complacency in life. What we can control when we are experiencing these
challenging events, is how we choose to respond to them. It is our power of choice that enables
us to activate positive change in our lives.

Acting on our power of choice provides us with more opportunity to change our lives for the
better. The more opportunities we create to change our lives the more fulfilled and happier our
lives become.

So, how to change your life? Here are 10 things that you can do to make changes in life for the
good, forever:
1. Find Meaning in Life
Spend some time trying to sort out what is important in your life and why it is important.

What is it that you want to achieve in your life? What are your dreams? What makes your
happy?

Nancy’s story will remind you the importance of finding your purpose in life, or else you may
live a miserable life.

Your meaning in life gives you purpose and sets the direction of how you want to live your life.
Without meaning you will spend the rest of your life wandering through life aimlessly with no
direction, focus, or purpose.

2. Create a Dream Board

When we were children, we would daydream all the time. We were skilled at dreaming and
visualizing what we would be when we grew up. We believed that anything was possible.

As we grew into adults, we lost our ability to dream. Our dreams became hidden and once we
started to feel like achieving our dreams was impossible.

A dream board is a great way for us to start believing in your own dreams again. Seeing our
dreams every day on a dream board brings our dreams to life. Our dreams become real and we
start to have believe in the possibility of achieving these dreams.

3. Set Goals to Achieve Your Dreams

Once you know what is important in your life and what your dream life looks like for you, you
need to take action and set your long-term, medium, and short-term goals. It is acting on these
goals that enable you to achieve your dreams

Remember your goals may change. Always be flexible with setting and achieving your goals as
things in life change and your goals need to reflect these changes. It’s the small steps that you
take that create the momentum for change to happen in your life.

4. Let Go of Your Regrets

Regrets will only hold you back in life. Regrets are events of the past and if you spend all your
time thinking about the past you will miss the present and the future.

You cannot change what you did or did not do in the past, so let it go. The only thing you have
control over now is how you choose to live your present and future life.
I had a heap of regrets that were holding me back in my life. I came across the “Balloon
Exercise” and got rid of my regrets for good.

What is it? It’s simple — blow up as many balloons as you need. On each balloon write a regret
and then let the balloon go. As the balloon drifts off into the sky say goodbye to that regret
forever.

⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄

Stuck in a Rut?
Sign up to get exclusive tips to get unstuck from mundane and live your
dream life.
⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄

A simple and powerful exercise that works and can change how you live your life.

5. Try to Do the Really Scary Things

This is all about you choosing to step out of your comfort zone and see limitations from a
different perspective.

Public speaking is one of the most frightening things anyone can do. I was petrified of public
speaking, however, I knew that I wanted to be a motivational speaker. So I joined Toast Masters
to overcome my fear of public speaking.

My first speech was terrible, my knees were knocking, I broke out in a sweat and I couldn’t stop
shaking. But I did it and the feeling of completing this speech, even though it was terrible was
great.

I chose to keep going and now I earn a living as a motivational speaker. I am still nervous when I
get up to speak however it is an excited nervous and I love it.

Make a list of scary things that you would kind of like to do but are too afraid to. Put a plan in
place and then go do them. Never stop doing scary things because if you do your life will
become one of complacency and comfort.

6. Start Living a Well-Balanced Life

Our health does not remain the same. Our physical, emotional, and spiritual state changes, as we
get older. What we can control however is how we feed our minds and our bodies.
Living a balanced and healthy life builds our resilience to the physical changes of our body.
Exercise is the best way in which we can attain a positive and optimistic attitude toward life.

Living a healthy, well-balanced life with lots of exercise is a lifestyle choice that without a doubt
will give you a happier more satisfied and fulfilled life.

If you’re wondering how to ensure a well-balance life, take a look at this guide: The Ultimate
Guide to Prioritizing Your Work And Life

7. Face Your Fears

It’s easy to ignore our fears and hope that they will go away. Unfortunately, it does not work like
that.

If you want to change your life, learn to master your fears so they can’t control you any longer.
Our fears are only thoughts in our minds that are not real but over time we have become to
believe that they are true.

It is our fears in life that stop us from living our life to the fullest. We know when our fears are
controlling our lives because we feel discontent, dissatisfied and unfulfilled.

Once we face our fears we take back our power to choose how we want to live our lives and
when we do this we change our lives forever.

Learn how to face your fears with this guide: How to Overcome Fear and Realize Your Potential
(The Ultimate Guide)

8. Accept Yourself
The only person who is going to create change in your life is you! And to create that change you
have to like yourself.

There will be times in your life where you will face rejection and there will be people who will
not like you that much. Accepting who you are and loving yourself helps you to move forward in
your life.

Putting yourself down all the time and wishing you could be better will only lead you to a life of
unhappiness and discontent.

Find your courage, love yourself and step out and do something crazy. Don’t worry about what
anyone thinks or whether it is the right thing to do. In your heart if it feels right, act on it and go
create the life you love.
9. Live in the Moment
Many of us tend to think that the grass is greener on the other side. Often, we get to the other
side of the fence we find that this is not so.

⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄

It's Never Too Late for You To Change!

Tell Me How

⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄

The motivation to change our lives comes from our desire to be happy. We are often so busy
focusing on our pursuit of happiness that we miss the joy of actually living in the moment.

Our desire to have happiness in our lives is a desire of a future state not of the present. We
become so consumed with all our problems and discontent in the present we miss the precious
beauty of the moment.

Sitting on the beach eating an ice-cream with your best friend or partner is a moment of
happiness. Appreciating and showing gratitude on a daily basis is experiencing happiness in the
moment. Helping those in need brings joy and happiness to us.

This is what living our life in the moment is all about – don’t miss these moments because you
are too busy focusing on your pursuit of happiness.

If you want more tips for this, take a look at this article: How to Live in the Moment and Stop
Worrying

10. Experience the Joy of Learning

Each time you learn something new, you gain more knowledge and with more knowledge comes
more confidence.

Learning helps us to be more adaptable and flexible to new situations. Learning encourages us to
be more creative and innovative in our thinking and we are therefor more comfortable with the
unknown.

Reading books is a great way for us to learn. To fully embrace the joy of learning, never stop
reading nor searching for more knowledge.

Learning gives our life meaning and this is what makes our life worthwhile.
You have a choice to make as to how you want to change your life. Choosing to act on these 10
things will, without a doubt change your life forever.

So what are you waiting for? Go do these 10 things now!

How to Be Confident: 62 Proven Ways to

Build Self-Confidence

Steve Errey

Steve is a confidence coach who helps leaders build confidence. Read full profile

 Share
 Pin it
 Tweet
 Share
 Email

Confidence is a tool you can use in your everyday life to do all kinds of cool stuff, not least to
stop second-guessing yourself, manage your fears and become able to do more of the things that
really matter to you.

But not many people realize that their self-confidence works just like a muscle – it grows in
response to the level of performance required of it. Either you use it or you lose it.

Here I will give you 62 ways so you know how to be confident and become a giant achiever:

1. Learning is a great thing.

Sign up for that evening class and enjoy it. Alternatively read a book (or take an online course)
on a topic you’ve always wanted to learn more about.

Learning new things stretches yourself, keeps your mind active and most definitely boosts your
confidence.

2. Ask your partner or best friend what you can do for them
today.
This can be something as easy as helping them with a chore they don’t like or have little time for.

Through helping then, you’ll find that you help yourself.

3. Hit the gym.
The physiological effects after hitting the gym will leave you feeling great.

Countless studies have shown that regular workouts at the gym can boost not only your sense of
well-being, but can increase your self-esteem too.[1]

4. Go to a networking event and focus on how you can be

helpful to others.
Rather than being nervous about your own stuff, focus on how to help others. Instead of going
along with the aim of trying to sell yourself to others, why not change your approach and simply
go along to see how you can help the people you meet?

By doing this, you’ll come across as calm, confident and someone that people will want to turn
to again and again.

5. Get crystal clear on the things that truly matter to you.

If these things are not in your life, you’ll need to bring them in.

For example, if your daily work routine is currently as dull as dishwater – but you’d like it to be
fun – then do something about it. Turn data entry into personal speed contests, paper filing into
‘screen free’ time and interactions with your colleagues into jovial and enjoyable conversations.

6. Write a list of things you’ve been tolerating and remove

them from life.
Write a list of the things you’re tolerating and putting up with in your life, then write down how
you can remove, minimize or diminish each one.

I personally like to do this with pen and paper as it feels just a little more real and definite than
on screen. It’s also a good idea to put the priority items at the top of your list, so you can begin
resolving these first.

7. Celebrate your big and small wins.

Look at a great (or small) win or success you’ve experienced and give yourself credit for your
part in it.

Recognizing your achievements is not egotistical, it’s healthy.

8. When you’re at a social event, don’t just stick with the
people you know.
Go and have a conversation with someone you don’t know. By doing this you may be pleasantly
surprised by what – or who – you’ll discover.

You can also extend this trait by breaking outside of your normal social circle at your workplace.

9. Say “what the hell” but still do it anyway for a new

challenge or invitation.
Next time you talk yourself out of doing something (a party invite, a challenging project or
whatever else), say “What the Hell” and go and do it anyway.

When I was younger, if I didn’t want to work on something, I quickly found reasons not to do it.
Now, however, I’m much more focused on stretching my talents and abilities, so it’s not
uncommon for me to say to myself “What the Hell” – and then get cracking!

10. Do one thing each day that makes you smile (on the
inside or on the outside).
This could be something as simple as sending a thank you email to a colleague that has been
helpful to you – or leaving a surprise present for your partner that they’ll discover when they
wake up.

Life shouldn’t be drudgery, but we all need to make the effort to keep it light, loving and fun.

11. Look for the thing that makes you second-guess or over
think.
Look for the patterns of thought that take you to a place where you start second-guessing or
over-thinking.

Now imagine that your best friend went through exactly the same thought process and ended up
holding themselves back – what would you want to say to them?

12. Ask that girl or guy you fancy out (if you’re single).
If you’re single but have met someone that you’re definitely attracted to – go ahead and ask them
out.
Even if they turn you down, your confidence will be boosted by the fact that you were decisive
and made an effort. What’s the best thing that could happen? They might just say yes!

13. Keep your mind well nourished by writing a list of 20

things that make you feel good.
Think of this as a gratitude list. Typical things you might include are: your partner, your kids,
your parents, your pets, etc.

I recommend writing this list at least once a month. And most importantly – make sure you’re
giving the 20 things plenty of room in your life.

14. Stop playing different roles just to impress others.

Stop playing different roles and squeezing yourself into boxes based on what you think people
expect you to act like.

I can’t stress this enough – be your AUTHENTIC self. The one who knows what to do, and loves
what they do. It’s easy to find this part of yourself, as it’s inherent in your hobbies and your close
friendships.

If you can bring this authenticity into your work life, you’ll be surprised at how positively others
will react to you.

15. Learn to catch yourself when you think you’re not good
enough.
Learn to catch yourself every time you tell yourself that you can’t have, won’t get or aren’t good
enough to get what you want.

Instead, tell yourself that you can have, will get and are good enough to get what you want.
Mindset is everything. Make sure yours is positive and dynamic.

16. Take yourself off auto-pilot

Make deliberate decisions on what really matters to you.

For instance, if you normally work 9-to-5 but find yourself spending hours getting to and from
work, why not negotiate with your boss to mix your hours up a bit?

You might also suggest a day or two working from home. Sell this to your boss by reminding
them that the time and stress lost to commuting can be neatly transferred to productive work
hours.
17. Listen carefully what you tell yourself when you face a
challenge.
Next time you come up against a risk or a challenge, listen to what you tell yourself, and look for
a way to improve your inner dialog.

If you normally find that your inner dialog is negative, then break out of this by asking yourself
questions such as: “What would make this easier?”, “Is there a different way of doing this”,
“Could research help?”

18. Laugh at yourself for being silly.

Scared of looking silly? It’s no biggie so don’t let it stop you.

I want you to say it with me… “It just doesn’t matter!” That’s right.

Whenever we try something new there’s a fair chance that we’ll make fools of ourselves. But
you’d be a bigger fool to let that stop you. Instead, laugh at your baby steps and watch your
confidence soar as you begin to master your chosen activity.

19. Don’t think for a second that you can’t be confident.

There are already loads of things you do with natural self-confidence, you just have to notice
them and get familiar with how that confidence feels. I’m sure you know what I mean.

For example, think about brushing your teeth, walking in a park or talking to a close friend. You
do all these things naturally and confidently. Take that same feeling and self-assurance and
transplant it to things you lack confidence in (public speaking being a common one).

20. Listen to your doubts but be ready to make definite

decisions after you’ve heard them.
Sometimes your doubts are there to let you know what you need to prepare for – so you can use
them to your benefit as you move forwards. Other times they are just doubts.

The trick is to quickly determine if your doubts have validity. If they do, use them to shape your
decisions.

To illustrate this, imagine that you’ve had an enticing job offer, but you doubt whether you’re
capable of doing the job. Spend a little time analyzing your doubts to see whether they reflect
reality – or whether they are just negative thoughts that are trying to hold you back.
21. Recall the time you’re riding high and achieving great
things.
Think of a time when it felt like a whole bank of switches in your head flicked to the on position
and you were firing on all cylinders. What were you doing and what’s the reason it felt so great?
Can you emulate that passion and drive that you had?

When your confidence or motivation is running low, delve into your memory bank and pull out
times when you were riding high and achieving great things. Dwell on the good times until you
feel your current levels of drive stepping back up. And then… get to work!

22. Tear up your rule book.

You may not know it, but you’ve almost certainly got a whole bunch of out-dated rules that
determine what you do, don’t do, should do and shouldn’t do. These rules limit your thinking
and limit your behavior.

It’s time to change them. Tear up this subconscious rule book and toss it in the fire. Once you’ve
done this, you’ll immediately notice how free you feel to make challenging and exciting
decisions. Life will be dynamic and fun again.

23. Pause and ask yourself what you have gained when you
lose.
Do you get annoyed with yourself because you didn’t make the most of something or stepped
back from an opportunity?

Well, firstly, don’t beat yourself up because that’s just going to make you feel worse. Instead, be
brutally honest and ask yourself what you gained from the situation and what you lost out on.

Based on this win/lose balance, what’s a different choice you can make next time?

24. If you’d already done everything in life you’d have, no

need to be scared.
Don’t ever think that being scared means you’re not confident, it simply means you’re going
somewhere new. And as the world offers virtually unlimited possibilities and opportunities,
you’ll likely be encountering new things all the time.

Personally, I always keep this great quote from Camille Guaty in my mind: “I still get the jitters
every time I start a new job! I love it – makes you feel alive.”
⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄

Are You Reaching Your Full Potential?

Take Lifehack's life potential assessment and get a custom report based on your unique
strengths, and discover how to start living your full life and reach your full potential. It's
a FREE assessment!

Start the Assessment

⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄

25. Let people know you don’t deserve being put down.
If there’s someone in your life who puts you down or makes you feel small, you owe it to
yourself to let them know that you expect something different from now on. Truly, you deserve
better. And they deserve to know better!

Of course, I’m not suggesting you have a major confrontation, but you will need to dig deep into
your assertiveness reservoir before having the conversation.

Trust me, once you’ve told them, they’ll change – and you will too. Inevitably, you’ll boost both
your confidence and happiness by taking control of your life in this way.

26. Flirt — it’s a great way to help you connect with people
and have fun.
Now, please don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting physical flirtation (this could be
misconstrued as sexual harassment). What I’m referring to is jokey, social conversation that
makes all parties feel positive, open and happy. You can think of it as turning formal interactions
into informal ones.

For example, if you normally greet a colleague each day by saying,”Good morning, how are you
today?” Add a bit of ‘flirt-power’ by using their name and asking more detailed questions.
Something like this: “Hi Sean! Nice to see you. How was your evening? Did you do anything
exciting?”

27. Reveal a little bit of the real you in a relationship that

might feel like it’s in a rut.
Let’s face it, relationships can be difficult. They usually start off smoothly but then run into some
rough patches. They can also lose their zest and become stale. If this happens in your
relationship, then it’s time to add some magic to the mix.
Try revealing something interesting about yourself or your past that your partner doesn’t
currently know about. Perhaps you never mentioned to them that you used to play in a rock band
– and you still have the recordings to prove it!

By adding new things to your relationship, you’ll deepen the bond between yourselves and keep
the spark alive.

28. Acknowledge both good and bad experiences in life.

Acknowledge and welcome all of your experiences – the good stuff as well as the bad stuff.

It’s all equally valid and hiding things away because you don’t like them is just creating conflict.
And it’s important to remember that the bad stuff is often more helpful in the long run than the
good stuff.

29. Always recognize that you are meant for any tough
situations
Recognize that you’re more than a match for any situation you might find yourself in – no matter
how tough the going gets.

We all love movies like Die Hard where ordinary people are driven to super-ordinary feats. But
here’s the rub: you can be your own action hero.

Whatever the situation, meet it head on and overcome it. Keep in mind the classic phrase:
“Where there’s a will there’s a way.”

30. Look for more useful ways of engaging with what

happens in your life, not everything happening around.
Two words for you… the internet! Yes, nowadays this is the No. 1 way that we distract ourselves
and lose our focus. Breaking news, social media updates, Netflix, etc. It’s a 24-hour non-stop
avalanche of content.

The problem is of course, we can’t consume this content 24 hours a day! We need to sleep, eat,
work, rest, socialize and much more.

The trick is to prioritize your time and stick strictly to your schedule. Your typical day might
look something like this: 8 hours sleeping, 30 minutes showering and dressing, 30 minutes
breakfast, 30 minutes commuting, 8 hours working, 30 minutes commuting, 2 hours preparing
and eating dinner, 1 hour studying, 3 hours relaxing/socializing.

Note that your casual internet use would only fall within the last 3 hours of your day – more than
enough time to catch up with the online world!
31. Don’t automatically give in to the instant pay-off – it
often means you’re selling yourself short.
If I was to offer you $100 now for a day’s work tomorrow or $110 for the same work but I won’t
pay you for a week, which would you choose? Well I can’t read your mind, but I do know that
studies using a similar question to this have found that most people choose the instant, but
smaller payment over the later, but bigger payment. It seems that we’re hardwired for instant
gratification.

However, if you want to be a success in life, always look at the bigger picture. In the example
above, if you could have only waited seven more days – you would have been $10 richer!

32. Instead of yelling “I deserve better than this!”, say “I can

BE better than this.”
Too often I hear people complaining about their personal circumstances but refusing to do
anything about it. Don’t be like them.

If things aren’t going your way, find solutions and implement them. Your boldness and
decisiveness will boost your confidence and help you rapidly climb the ladder of success.

33. Confidence means admitting you’re wrong.

It may not be easy, but you should always be prepared to hold your hands up and change your
mind if things are going south. Not every idea you have will be a winning one. The trick is to
know when things are clearly not working out. In these cases you still have control.

You can either attempt to get them back on track – or kill them off completely (sometimes that’s
the best way).

34. Trust your instincts.

We all have our gut feelings and intuitions, but many people choose to ignore them and rely only
on facts, facts and more facts! While this may work for many scenarios, there will be other times
when you’ll need to rely on your instincts.

For example, would you take someone on a date to somewhere that you believed was ‘factually’
the best place? No. That would be nonsense. Instead, you’d trust your feelings on where would
be the best place to enjoy the perfect first date.

35. Fear is a way of letting you know that you’re about to

stretch yourself and grow your confidence.
That’s a good thing .So rather than running away from fear – use it to keep pushing yourself
forwards.

I also highly recommend you give Susan Jeffers’ classic book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway a
read.

36. Imagine your confident future self, what would you do?
Imagine you’re visited by a successful, confident, attractive and vibrant version of you from the
future, a version of you who’s everything you hope to be. What do they want to tell you?

It’s a good question, right? They might praise your efforts, but they may also criticize your lack
of planning and weak goals.

Luckily, if you listen closely to what they tell you, you’ll be able to rapidly shift gears in your
life and become… the you of the future!

37. Don’t feel like you have to do everything yourself.

This is a common issue. We take on way too many responsibilities, and end up either burning
ourselves out – or just doing a bad job!

The secret is to put the vast majority of your energy and efforts into what you do well. Give the
stuff you don’t do well to others who have a gift for it. Sometimes the most confident and
effective thing to do is ask for help.

38. Take a chance on something tomorrow.

Big or small, just take a chance. You’ll be amazed what this approach can do for your life and
your confidence. You’ll feel energized, bold and adventurous.

If you’re short on ideas, try these: ask your boss for a pay rise, go somewhere new for lunch,
open yourself up to a friend.

39. You need to be around people who make you feel like
YOU.
Do this by spending more time with the people who support and encourage you, and less time
with those who undermine you.

At work, don’t let your lunchtimes be ruined by negative, petty people. Instead, make sure you
surround yourself with colleagues who make you laugh and feel good about yourself.
40. Stop struggling against the things you don’t like in your
life.
Instead, create a harmonious environment around you that flows and allows you to be you. In
other words, don’t keep doing things you don’t want to do.

For instance, if you always buy the same food week in week out but find yourself complaining
how dull the food is – put a stop to it! You can break free from this rut by visiting grocery stores,
cafes and restaurants that you’ve never frequented before.

41. No man’s an island, and you need to be a part of the

world around you to feel confident.
Ask yourself this question: “What can I participate in that’s important to me?”

Typically, this could be your church, a sports club or even just a weekly get together with your
best friend.

42. Forget the pros and cons – do something bold in the face
of your challenges and fears.
Pros and cons are often rammed down our throats over and over again. You know what I mean:
“Don’t make a decision until you’ve listed all of the pros and cons… blah, blah, blah!” Now
don’t get me wrong, there’re definitely times for using pros and cons, but there’re definitely
other times when you should just go with your gut.

By doing this you’ll feel strong, free and ultra-confident.

43. Work on developing the skills you need to win at the

things that matter to you.
What can you practice that would radically improve your chances of winning?

If you want to climb the corporate ladder, for example, then develop the skills needed to do this.
These might include: effective project management skills, powerful presentational abilities, and
superb goal setting skills.

And of course, don’t forget that emulating those who have already achieved your goal is one of
the quickest and most reliable ways for you to achieve your aims too.
44. Act till you make it.
The body is a mirror for the mind, so shifting your body into a confident state can have
surprising results.

This is all about acting. If you want to come across as tough, act tough. If you want to come
across as successful, act successful. And if you want to come across as confident, act confident.

Try doing these things, and you’ll be amazed by the results.

45. Push through it when you feel like giving up.

Don’t get disheartened or demotivated when you get to 90% with something you’re working on.
Push through and you’ll see that the last 10% is where the magic happens.

⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄

Become Mentally Stronger!

Grab a FREE Lifehack Guide to train yourself to be mentally strong and take charge of
life!

Become Stronger

⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄

Many people fall at the last hurdle. Instead, be aware that around the 90% mark of a project you
may begin to struggle. Refocus your efforts and energies and push right through to the end. Once
you do this, you’ll not only be rewarded with a completed project – but your self-esteem will tick
up a notch too.

46. Stop validating yourself by comparing with others.

Keep comparing yourself to others?  Stop it. Don’t try to validate yourself through comparison –
you’re just peachy as you are.

I used to do this a lot. I was always comparing myself to my friends, family members and
colleagues. If you’re the most successful among them, then comparing yourself may boost your
confidence. But, like me when I was younger, if many of your associates are much more
successful than you, than your confidence can be shot to pieces by you endlessly comparing
yourself to them. My advice? Put comparisons aside, and instead, focus on your own unique
path.
47. Speak up when there’s something you can do to make a
difference.
Put your head above the parapet at work and speak up if there’s something you think could be
improved or if you have an idea you think has legs.

Have you noticed that quiet people at work rarely get the promotions? It’s not that there’re
incapable or lacking talent, but their abilities are usually overlooked as they don’t know how to
engage with others – or how to sell themselves.

To get on in this world, be sure that you’re an active player. Speak up in meetings by suggesting
ideas and offering constructive criticism, etc. Before long, you’ll be noticed, and not long after
that, you’ll begin your ascent up the ladder of success.

48. Sometimes you need to stop struggling and start

accepting.
If there’s something you’ve been struggling to understand for a while, stop trying to understand
it.  Accept it just as it is, fully and wholly.

Life offers endless mysteries. If you try to resolve them all you’ll drive yourself insane! Instead,
let some mysteries remain, and keep your mind focused on your goals and dreams.

49. It’s okay to be shy.

There’s nothing wrong with being shy and it doesn’t mean you’re not a confident person.

If you suffer from shyness, you might think it’s a major weakness of yours. But introverted
people have the edge in many ways, such as: they’re first-rate listeners, they have excellent
observational skills, and they’re easier to trust.[2]

50. Clean up your environment.

Your environment directly impacts your self-perception. So if you’re surrounded by clutter,
paperwork and rubbish, put a morning aside to clean up your stuff and get organised.

Enough said. Time to get decluttering!

51. Write a list of things you’ve love to do.

Write yourself a list of the amazing things you’d love to do in your life, and make a start by
simply looking into the first one or two things that leap out at you.
Even if you don’t currently have the means to live your dreams, you can at the very least make a
start. The best way to do this is to write out the things you’d love to do. These may include cool
stuff, such as travelling the world, learning a new language, or climbing a mountain.

Once you’ve added the items to your list – don’t stop there. Begin researching and preparing
ways to turn your dreams into realities.

52. Make your self-worth independent from others’

validation.
Don’t make your happiness or self-worth dependent on being in a relationship or being validated
by someone else.

While it’s difficult to admit it, we often find ourselves rating our self-esteem by the value other
people put on us.

For instance, you may have a super-positive boss who is always encouraging and supportive.
They make you feel upbeat and confident at all times. However, imagine if they left and your
new boss was the complete opposite. They constantly look for faults in your work and regularly
criticize you. Would you still feel confident in those circumstances?

If you’ve answered no, then you need to reappraise your self-worth, as it shouldn’t be dependent
on the validation of others.

53. Use your strengths to overcome your weaknesses.

We all have our weaknesses but they only undermine your confidence if you let them.

For instance, are you aware that Virgin’s founder Richard Branson suffers from dyslexia? He
never let this hold him back or destroy his confidence. Today, he is one of the world’s most
successful men, with a net worth of approximately $5 billion.[3]

54. Have a to-do list and get these things done as soon as
possible.
The longer you leave that big thing on your to-do list the more it’ll drain you and the bigger it’ll
seem. Get it done and free yourself up.

Imagine for a moment that you set yourself a goal to write the first chapter of a book idea that
you’ve come up with. When you added it to your to-do list you were excited. However, as the
days, weeks and months went by… it was still on your list – but you hadn’t written a word!
Clearly, the task had overwhelmed you, and you had fallen victim to that common visitor – Mr.
Procrastination! Unfortunately, by having the task on your to-do list for so long, it had
consciously and subconsciously began to eat into your confidence.

The answer of course, is to break down tasks into smaller ones. For instance, instead of trying to
write a whole chapter in one go – how about just writing the opening paragraph?

What golden threads, themes, patterns and passions have always been in your life? Once you’ve
got them clear in your mind (or down on paper), ask yourself: “Are these things present in my
life right now?” If not, you’ll need to take action and begin shifting your priorities.

55. Treat your body well.

Your body image does matter, because if you have a bad relationship with your body you won’t
be feeling confident in yourself.

What’s one of the first things most of us do when we get up in the morning? We look in the
mirror. If we don’t like what we see there, then our day starts off on a negative note. If, on the
other hand, we look in the mirror and feel proud of our appearance, then we start the day off in
an upbeat, positive way.

If you’re unhappy with your body and looks, do something to improve them. Exercise, diet and
styling are common ways of improving your body image – and your confidence.

56. Never stop boosting your confidence.

Being confident is an ongoing process. It isn’t a goal or an end-point that you reach and then
stop.

Think of it like learning. If you only learn at school, and then never learn anything else, do you
think you’ll be able to keep growing and improving your life? It’s the same with confidence.

Keep pushing yourself forward, and your confidence levels will develop with you.

57. Try a new path.

The well-trodden paths of your life can easily turn from familiarity to apathy and disconnection.

A new path wakes you up, makes you feel fresh and alive again! Try it and see.

58. Learn to say no, you don’t live to please others.

Don’t say “Yes” to taking on a task simply because you don’t want to rock the boat. You can
politely decline requests you can’t meet without needing to create excuses.
While saying yes to everything that comes your way might feel like you’re being helpful and in
demand, in the long run, you’ll burn yourself out.

To keep your energy and drive at its optimum, be sure to refrain from overwork. If your plate is
full already, then don’t hesitate to turn down non-urgent requests. Not only will you save
yourself from a breakdown, but people will respect you more.

59. Look up to confident people and learn from them.

Look at the people you respect who seem confident. Don’t copy them, but identify what it is they
do differently that conveys confidence and what you can learn from it.

People watching is not only fun, but it can be VERY informative too. Look closely at successful
people you know, or those being interviewed on TV, and overtime you’ll begin to notice
common traits, beliefs and behaviours that they exhibit.

Start adopting some of these, and it’ll be liking putting on the clothes of successful people. And
when others are people watching – they’ll notice you!

60. Make a plan to do something, then make deliberate

choices to follow through.
Most people find it easy to write plans. The hard part, of course, is seeing them through. To stand
out from the crowd make sure that you know exactly how to complete your plans.

If you need to, write down a step-by-step guide and begin following it. Not only will this drive
you towards the completion of your plans – but experiencing the progress will also give you a
continuous boost to your self-esteem.

61. Swift your focus when you start to doubt yourself.

When you feel yourself focusing inwards and becoming paralysed with doubt or fear, switch to
focusing outwards at what you can engage and interact with.

I remember one of my writing tutor’s telling me that when the words stop flowing, it’s time to
take a break – preferably a walk in the park. It’s sound advice, as it’s very easy to get caught up
with our thoughts and emotions and be unable to make progress.

If your struggling to get started – try doing something completely different.

62. Never beat yourself up for failing or screwing up.

Life is guaranteed to not always be a barrel of laughs. Instead, it’s much more like a roller
coaster. They’ll be ups and downs, slow periods and super-fast periods.
The art of living is to know how to handle whatever comes you way. The best way to achieve
this is by developing an iron-core that is unhindered by the topsy-turvy outside world.

Here I’ve given you 62 different ways to build confidence. Take action on the ways that you’re
drawn to. It’s not enough to read about them. For them to work, you must adopt them into your
daily life. Do this, and you’ll never need worry about your confidence levels ever again.