Professional Documents
Culture Documents
By
Melissa Fernandes
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 2.
NICK
So how’s the boyfriend then? What’s
his name? Geoffrey? Geoff?
Geoffers? Geoffy?
Nick examines the cricket ball.
JANE
You know his name Nick.
NICK
So how’s it going then? Can I buy
my wedding hat?
JANE
Men don’t wear hats.
NICK
I personally think you and him suit
each other to a T.
Nick tosses the ball in the air and catches it.
JANE
And why is that?
NICK
You’re both conventional.
JANE
What the hell’s that supposed to
mean?
NICK
I haven’t got a dictionary on me at
the moments, so can’t give you the
exact definition.
Nick throws the cricket ball, and catches it with one hand.
He looks at Jane and smirks.
JANE
Don’t be a smart aleck!
NICK
But it’s true you know? I can see
you buying socks for him, and
ironing his underwear in a few
months.
JANE
Why Nick, you sound jealous.
The lift doors open on the seventh Floor
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 3.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.
NICK
I just do. Do them again.
JANE
But..
NICK
Again.
The men around the table snicker.
Jane stares at the other men around the table, and
encounters smirks and rueful smiles.
Jane looks at Nick.
Nick stares back.
Jane looks at the cricket ball, then back at Nick for a few
seconds longer, then turns and walks back to her seat.
Nick stares at her as she sits down.
Jane stares back, a belligerent look in her eye.
Nick keeps staring, and opens his mouth to speak.
JANE
I’ll have them ready for you by
midday.
NICK
See that you do.
Nick and Jane continue their staring war.
The atmosphere in the room is now tense and edgy. The others
around the table begin to shift uncomfortably in their
seats.
Jane finally surrenders the staring match and drops her
gaze.
Triumphantly with a smirk, Nick picks up the cricket ball
and proceeds to move on to the next stage of the meeting,
addressing the rest of the room.
Jane is staring at the cricket ball. Her face is blank.
6.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 7.
NICK
What do you think Jane? Am I being
too harsh?
JANE
I’m not answering your question.
NICK
See this is what I mean.
Over-sensitive.
Nick throws the ball to Martin.
NICK
Highly strung!
MARTIN
Ah leave her alone.
NICK
She still hasn’t answered my
question. She doesn’t answer many
of my questions. Wonder why that
is? Hmmmmm
MARTIN
See! This is why women hate you.
Martin throws the ball to Nick.
JANE
No women hate him because he’s
insensitive as opposed to my
over-sensitive.
NICK
That doesn’t make sense. I have a
dictionary on my laptop now, if you
want it. A Thesaurus as well?
Nick throws the cricket ball to Martin, and smirks.
Martin laughs.
MARTIN
Fuck Me!
JANE
Yes. Funny. Right.
NICK
Highly strung women make the worst
girlfriends.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 8.
The two men carry on playing with the cricket ball. Jane
bends back over her work. Annoyed again.
JANE
Nick. I need to speak to you.
NICK
Yes?
JANE
In private.
NICK
What about?
JANE
In Private.
Nick sighs extraordinarily loudly, picks up his cricket ball
and indicates to Jane to follow him into a side office.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 9.
JANE
Why are you doing this? You seem to
have it in for me?
NICK
Now you’re being paranoid.
JANE
You don’t treat others in the
office this way.
Nick throws the cricket ball in the air again, and then
looks at Jane, a smirk on his face.
NICK
Maybe I would treat you with some
respect, if you showed some
intelligence now and then.
Nick throws the cricket ball in the air again, before he can
catch it, Jane reaches out her hand and snatches it.
JANE
I’m showing you some intelligence
now. If you so much as speak to me
ever again like you did before...
Jane rolls the cricket ball over in her hands.
JANE
I’ll sue you...this company, and
you know what?
Jane leans closer to Nick, the cricket ball clenched in her
fist.
JANE
I’ll take you for so much money,
your great grandchildren will be
paying me back.
Jane steps away from Nick, and moves towards the door.
Suddenly remembering she has Nick’s cricket ball, she turns
back and throws the ball towards his face.
Nick flinches and manages to catch the ball. Just.
Jane turns and walks out the door.
Nick remains by the window, turning the cricket ball over in
his hands.
10.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 11.
NICK
Yeah. They’re still there. I just
need to choose one of them and
stick to her. But they both want me
and both are sleeping with me, so
the choice is quite difficult.
We see Jane wandering nearby with a drink in her hand. Nick
spots her and starts to throw the cricket ball in the air,
his speed increasing.
NICK
Women seem to enjoy men being
horrible to them. I can’t quite
fathom it. This isn’t Pride and
Prejudice. I’m no Mr Darcy.
SUIT 2
Well that ’Treat em mean, Keem em
keen’ method works. Seems to be
working for you.
NICK
Yes. It seems to work on all the
women in my life. Doesn’t it Jane?
Nick looks at Jane, while in one hand the cricket ball keeps
tossing and turning in the air, slowly getting faster and
faster.
JANE
All the women? I’m surprised you
have any. What with your infamous
charm and oh so pleasant
personality.
NICK
You seem to have quite a few
opinions on me. Opinions I’m not
sure I like.
Nick places his beer, with measured care, down on a nearby
table. He returns to throwing the cricket ball in the air.
Nearby we see the a waiter look towards him cautiously.
NICK
I think women should know their
place. They should know when to
speak and when not to speak.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 12.
JANE
The same should be for men
NICK
No men were placed on this earth to
be superior to men. Women should
learn to accept this fact and deal
with it.
Jane places her drink on the table with force. Suit 2 is
looking alarmed and edging away.
JANE
Men should learn to get rid of
arrogant, egotistical, over
self-confidence and admit to some
humility now and again.
The cricket ball in Nick’s hands is now being thrown from
side to side, and we can hear the impact of the ball as it
hits each palm. Slap-Slap-Slap-Slap. The speed is picking
up. Nick’s eyes remain on the ball intensely.
NICK
Women should learn that their place
in life is to serve men, and be
subordinate. When I say speak, then
you can speak.
The cricket ball starts travelling faster and faster. Jane’s
face is turning red with rage. Nick’s eyes remain on the
ball. Slowly their fellow colleagues are gathering around
them, fascinated.
JANE
Are you telling me, that i can
talk, only when you say speak?
NICK
Precisely. Now I’m telling you to
sit. Let’s see if you can obey that
simple command.
JANE
I can’t believe you! I’m no dog,
for you to speak to me that way.
NICK
Sit.
JANE
No
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 13.
NICK
Sit.
The ball starts travelling faster, and the slaps get louder.
JANE
No.
NICK
Sit
JANE
No. Fuck You.
NICK
Sit!
JANE
No!
NICK
Sit!
The ball gets faster, faster, Nick’s eyes and head are
following it’s movements. Jane’s fists are clenching and her
body is braced.
JANE
No!
NICK
Sit!!
JANE
Fuck You Bastard!
In mid throw, Nick snatches the cricket ball in one hand and
smacks it into Jane’s face.
Jane falls head back onto the floor, with a scream. Blood
trickles from the corner of her mouth. Gasps of dismay and
further screams can be heard from the people around them.
The room has frozen.
Nick picks up the cricket ball from where it lies next to
Jane. He looks down at her.
NICK
I told you to sit. There’s a good
girl.
Fade out with Nick staring at Jane on the floor.