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Love, Sex & Relationships - Monogamy Is Unnatural & Responsible Non-Monogamy Can Save A Relationship
Love, Sex & Relationships - Monogamy Is Unnatural & Responsible Non-Monogamy Can Save A Relationship
relationship; fears and misconceptions about this emotionally touchy subject can
interfere with understanding how it can be beneficial. Although non-monogamy is
not for everyone and is not always appropriate, below is a comparison of monogamy
and responsible non-monogamy. Note: cheating, lying, unsafe sex, and promiscuity
are not part of responsible non-monogamy. Complete and radical honesty with your
partner is, and that seems to be what’s most threatening and challenging to many
of us.
With the custom of monogamy, you own each other, sort of like how you own
property. Your partner is yours and if they even look at someone else the wrong
way anger and jealousy are common.
With responsible non-monogamy, a couple accepts that owning the rights to each
other isn’t love, but possessiveness. What about the possibility of one of them
falling in love with someone else and abandoning the other? This can happen in any
relationship because you don't need to sleep with someone to fall in love with
them. Furthermore, it seems that when two people are destined to meet and fall in
love they will, regardless of whether or not they are single or involved.
With the custom of a traditional commitment and monogamy, falling in love with
someone means that fantasies (such as “together forever” and “you are mine for the
rest of my life” and "grow old together") become expectations, and when they
aren’t met it results in disappointment, heartache, anger, and even divorce.
With the custom of monogamy, when someone cheats it is kept secret. Because
monogamy and honesty are often assumed in relationships, both the cheater and the
person being cheated on are at risk for contracting STDs. According to statistics,
over 50% of men and women in "committed" relationships cheat on their partners. Is
assumed monogamy realistic or safe?
With the custom of monogamy, based on the above statistics, the illusion of
monogamy is much more important to many people than honesty.
Responsibly non-monogamous couples, on the other hand, place more value on radical
honesty because truthfulness brings them closer together. In light of this,
responsible non-monogamy could potentially reduce the divorce rate and introduce a
deeper level of honesty in relationships.
That brings us to related topics: Can we honestly expect sexual passion to last
decades in all relationships? Also, what happens if one partner loses interest in
sex or if one reveals, years later, that he or she really doesn't like sex and
wants to avoid it? Masturbation is not a good long-term substitute for sexual
intimacy.
With the custom of monogamy, you are supposed to be attracted to your partner and
only your partner. If you have desires for or fantasies about someone else, even
if you don’t act on them, they are kept secret. This form of dishonesty can drive
a wedge between couples.
With responsible non-monogamy, the couple acknowledges that we are all human and
an attraction to someone else, especially during a long-term monogamous
relationship, is natural.
What about children, you ask? Some responsibly non-monogamous and progressive
couples create a "commitment contract," where financial arrangements and planning
covering possible scenarios (together for 5 years, 10 years,
20 years, etc.) are agreed upon prior to marriage and before children are
conceived. A new concept? Hardly. Ancient Egyptians had 5 and 10 year marriage
contracts. If mutually agreed upon, they would renew. Although it's not easy to
address the subject like you would a business matter, it's much tougher to do so
later in divorce court. If two people are unwilling to confront or unable to agree
on these issues
before marriage it's a red flag for their longevity as a couple.
With the custom of monogamy, sex is love, and if your partner has sex with someone
else, they've betrayed you emotionally and it must mean they don’t love you
anymore.
Lastly and most importantly, if we cheat, even if no one finds out, negative karma
is incurred and we set ourselves up for a similar situation to "happen to" us in
the future. Whatever
action we take will, in time, come back to us, so even though radical honesty in
relationships may be difficult it is often the best policy. The eyes of truth are
always watching us.
Scott Petullo
http://www.mystictwins.com
http://www.holisticmakeover.com
http://www.scottpetullo.com
Stephen Petullo
http://www.holisticmakeover.com
Scott Petullo and Stephen Petullo are identical twins and have been exploring
metaphysics since the early 1980’s. They are experts in the fields of prediction,
personal fate, love life, and past life regression and are natural psychics and
mediums. Get their free report: 13 Spiritual and New Age Myths and 11 Questions to
Ask Before Hiring a Psychic. http://www.mystictwins.com
http://www.holisticmakeover.com http://www.scottpetullo.com