Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Barlow 1
In
a
world
full
of
corruption
and
bad
influences,
its
becoming
harder
and
harder
to
find
the
middle
ground
to
stand
on.
Couples
today
are
facing
challenges
that
their
grandparents
would
have
been
shunned
over
fifty
years
ago.
Cheating,
lying,
and
divorce
are
at
all
time
highs
in
relationships
and
its
making
it
tough
for
couples
to
stay
loyal
to
each
other
(Borchard).
As
a
member
of
todays
society,
most
people
feel
the
need
to
always
be
in
contact
with
someone.
Consequently,
some
couples
can
reconnect
with
exs
or
start
a
new
relationship
when
they
are
currently
in
a
relationship.
This
can
cause
tension
and
start
problems in a relationship. By understanding how Facebook originated and changed, societys views on marriage, and how couples are dealing with Facebook as a whole, one can understand how Facebook is effecting couples today. Mark Zuckerberg started Facebook as a sophomore at Harvard University in February of 2004. In the beginning, his site was only available to Harvard students, but within a few months Facebook was moving its headquarters to California and making its site available to high school students across the nation. As Facebook continues to expand, it has become easier for society to stay connected and make new friends and a few enemies. (Bertolucci). Facebook introduced the Wall, which allowed users to write comments and messages for other people to view. Next, Facebook introduced the news feed which allowed users to keep a close watch on what other users were doing. In the beginning this posed many questions regarding user privacy
Krystle 10/22/12 3:10 PM
Comment [2]: I
like
where
you
are
going
with
these
two
sentences.
This
makes
me
want
to
know
more
about
what
youre
going
to
do
with
the
paper.
But
not
sure
if
shunned
would
be
the
best
word
to
use
here
since
you
are
talking
about
challenges,
rather
than
their
actions.
Did
you
maybe
mean
to
say
stunned
by?
Barlow 2
and the intent Facebook was trying to achieve. After introducing the news feed and getting away with it, Facebook introduced Facebook chat and the Like button. However, the one addition that made Facebook so public was the introduction of the timeline. This feature allowed users to post where, who, and what was going on in their life, and allowing the public to view it. After huge privacy concerns, Facebook implemented privacy settings for its timeline and allowed users to pick and choose who is allowed to see what is posted before being published onto the timeline (Milestones). With concerns over privacy, Facebook has also made things a little too private. By allowing users to use private messages, IMs, and disclose certain information to certain people, its becoming less about what goes on in public, and more about what goes on behind the computer screen.
Krystle 10/22/12 12:02 PM
Comment [6]: Is
this
something
that
you
plan
to
bring
up
later
when
discussing
how
those
who
cheat
through
Facebook
can
hide
their
activity
from
their
spouse?
***Additional Feedback*** To answer your question about needing more quotes: *At this stage of your work, you really havent gotten to a point where quotes are necessary. To answer your question about the next paragraph: *That sounds like a good way to go. At that point you would have the introductory info about Facebook and societies view on marriage. That seems like it would make it easy to combine the two in the following paragraphs and talk about how they relate. I think there would need to be some transition sentences added to the end of paragraph two to lead readers into that description.
Barlow 3 * I understand that this is an early version of your work and you will most likely revise several times. I would suggest paying attention to the flow from sentence to sentence when you revise. I think you did a good job on varying sentence structures.