How to Write Better Descriptions

by William C. Martell for Final Draft, Inc.

How to Write Better Descriptions is brought to you by Final Draft Software.

Your dialogue has the pluck of Parker, the bite of Benchley, and the soul of Steve Zaillian. Every line you write is brilliant. But lm is a visual medium, and your script will have as much description as dialogue. Readers frequently complain about "too much black stuff" (description) and reject scripts for being dense and verbose (description again!). What can we do to improve the writing that comes between those brilliant lines? THE WORD IS ACTION

My rst step is easy: Don't think of it as DESCRIPTION, think of it as ACTION. Movement. Things happening. Describing a stationary object is not only boring, it's probably not necessary. The production designer will decide the oor plan of the house, the set decorator will decide how to furnish it, the prop master will add the details like family photos and knick- knacks. It's not our job as writers to describe any of this stuff (unless it s REQUIRED by the plot). If the slug line says: INT. JOE'S LIVING ROOM -- DAY The reader will imagine a sofa, some chairs, a TV, and most of the details. We don't have to mention them. Our job isn't to paint the whole picture, just give the absolute minimum amount of information required to set the location. Sometimes, the slug line does it all. Which means what comes after the slug line is ACTION. We are writing MOTION pictures, and what we are describing is people and objects MOVING. So the rst step is to remember you aren't describing THINGS, you are describing THINGS HAPPENING. When we use our words to paint pictures, we aren't painting still lifes. THE DEVIL IS IN THE DETAILS There are times when INT. JOE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY is too generic. The reader needs additional information. The trick is not to bore the reader by completely describing the living room. Instead, nd the one (or two) details that give us clues to the others, and let the readers imagination ll in the rest.

How to Write Better Descriptions is brought to you by Final Draft Software.

Here are four examples: INT. JOE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY

Pizza boxes and empty beer cans litter the floor. ***** INT. BOB'S LIVING ROOM - DAY

A vase of fresh-cut flowers on a doily on the baby grand piano. ***** INT. KEN'S LIVING ROOM - DAY A sleek sofa with built-in remote controls faces a wall-sized flat-screen TV. ***** INT. TED'S LIVING ROOM - DAY Wall-to-wall bookshelves create a fortress around an easy chair and lamp.

Four very different living rooms. Do you think these guys hang out together? Did you get a clear picture of Joe's sofa from the description of his living room? I didn't mention it in the description, but I suspect it's early Goodwill or maybe something found on the side of the road. Now let's wander into Joe's Kitchen. Let's take a look in the sink. What do you see? Now let's go into the bedroom is the bed made? Are there dirty clothes on the oor? With nine words I've described everything in Joe's apartment! Now let's look at Bob's sofa. Does it look anything like Joe's? Imagine Joe's carpet and compare it with Bob's carpet. Or did you imagine Bob has hardwood oors and Persian rugs? If we were to look in Bob's kitchen and bedroom, what would we see? Again, a handful of words are used to paint a picture.

How to Write Better Descriptions is brought to you by Final Draft Software.

Though I describe Ken's sofa, would you be confused if halfway through the scene Ken went to the wet bar in his living room and mixed a drink? Even if you didn't initially imagine the wet bar, it completely ts in the room described. You don't have to describe everything up front. You can sneak in description later on through actions. If I looked in Ken's kitchen, I suspect I'd nd a bunch of gourmet gadgets. Ken probably grinds his own coffee beans. Is Ted's living room brightly lit? What color is his easy chair? What we are doing is looking at the location as if it's a character, then nding the essential details that create the character of that room or place. The same way Lawrence Kasdan in Body Heat describes Teddy Laurson as a "rock n roll arsonist." Those four words give us the essence of the character and spark our imagination to ll in the details. Long hair? Tattoos? How is Teddy dressed? Four words and we see him! The key is to carefully choose a detail that implies other details, to nd an example or metaphor that sums up the entire location. That way you can describe the whole room in one short sentence. Notice that this description gives us clues to character as well. These are four very different living rooms and four very different people. MOVING PICTURES Because that element of the screenplay is action rather than description, the best way to describe a location is through action. Instead of a boring static image, give the reader some action and sneak in a little description along the way. So, we combine the rst two steps, and come up with a third. The best place to hide a description is within action. INT. JOE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY Joe brushes away old pizza boxes, plops down on the sofa. Go back through your script and see if you can apply these tips to the blocks of description in your script. When you are nished, there should be far fewer blocks of description and more short, engaging action lines that make your script a great read.

How to Write Better Descriptions is brought to you by Final Draft Software.

ABOUT WILLIAM C. MARTELL WILLIAM C. MARTELL has written 19 produced films for cable and video, including three HBO World Premieres, a pair of Showtime films, the thriller Hard Evidence (Warner Bros.), and the family film Invisible Mom. He is the author of The Secrets of Action Screenwriting and can be reached at Scriptsecrets.net.

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How to Write Better Descriptions is brought to you by Final Draft Software.

How to Use Final Draft to Write Better Descriptions

Writing better descriptions involves two Final Draft elements: SCENE HEADING and ACTION. Here is an example from the lm Erin Brockovich:

The line INT. DR. JAFFES OFFICE - DAY is the Scene Heading. The line below it is the Action line. Both lines are indented 1.5 from the left and have a right margin 7.5 from the left. When you start a brand-new script in Final Draft, you merely need to hit the Enter or Return key once: A menu of script elements will pop up on your screen. Choose Scene Heading and youre ready to write. Final Draft automatically indents and capitalizes the scene element correctly.

In addition to formatting the script element automatically and correctly, Final Draft also saves you time with SmartType. Every SCENE HEADING starts with either INT (for interior), EXT (for exterior), or I/E (for Interior/Exterior). When you start to type a SCENE HEADING, Final Draft will automatically show you one of these three options. Just choose the correct one and keep writing. SmartType also remembers your scene locations so if you set your scenes repeatedly in OMALLEYS BAR or THE HAUNTED HOUSE, SmartType automatically remembers and prompts you. More Questions? Visit naldraft.com where you can download a demo, view our KnowledgeBase, post questions to our forum (forum.naldraft.com), or call our Pre-Sales team at 818-995-8995.
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