Redemption By Dawn Shannon

This tale is dedicated to my mother Lexie Shannon

CONTENTS
Deja Vu 4 ..................................................................................................................................... Reality 29................................................................................................................................... Fear 62 .......................................................................................................................................... Strike Two 91............................................................................................................................ Unraveling 114 ......................................................................................................................... Home 144........................................................................................................................................ The Discovery 158 .................................................................................................................. Jenny 168 ..................................................................................................................................... Strike Three 184 .................................................................................................................... The Last Stand Part One 205 .......................................................................................... The Last Stand Part Two 221 .......................................................................................... At Last 234 ................................................................................................................................ Endgame 245 ................................................................................................................................ A New Beginning 263 .............................................................................................................

Dj vu

It was always the same dream.

Lexie was covered in blood

and kneeling on the church steps with her friend Sister Margaret looking down at her in horror. forget what was before. Lexie ran a hand through her hair and looked around. She Only her dreams wouldnt let her

wanted to make sure that she was in her rented room in Palmetto, Texas, and not back in the tragedy she created. It was

September, and Lexie had been living in the town Palmetto for over a month, in the spare bedroom of Miss Melleys house. When she stepped off the bus, the heels of her cowboy boots sank slightly into the soft earth and humidity wrapped around her like a blanket. She looked around at the big green trees,

heard the faint buzzing of mosquitoes, and began to walk as the sun beat down on her head and shoulders. She managed to find a grimy motel to stay in, run by a heavy set man in dress slacks, a yellowed tank top, and wing

5 tipped shoes. He introduced himself as Paul Morris, brazenly Paul showed her to a small foul-smelling

checked out her ass.

room with such a flourish; you wouldve thought it was the Taj Mahal. She thought she would be there for just a couple of days, but instead it was a couple of weeks. It was easy to see Palmetto was a town, which thrived on the routine, and she wasnt the routine. She spent those two weeks knocking on every door in town. It didnt matter if it was a store, a warehouse, a restaurant, or one of the towns salons. No one was hiring.

So, after each long day of nothing but rejection, Lexie would crawl back to the motel. Shed pay for another night and

watch her bundle of cash rapidly start to dwindle. On one of those nights she stopped at the towns bar The Black Crow. It was a hole in the wall with one jukebox that It

played nothing but old country western, and Lyrnd Skyrnd.

was Happy Hour and the bar was full of dark wood, cigarette smoke, and most of all people who were trying to drown their sorrows as much as her. Lexie sat at the bar alone and drank with the rest of the bar flies. She stumbled out of that bar more drunk than shed Once outside of the bar, she decided

been in quite some time.

if she needed to vomit or not.

6 Her body made the decision for her, and she started to violently retch. Eventually, Lexie raised her head to see an old woman in a caftan, piling some pots into the back of a blue truck. The old

woman was staring at her with concern, and the womans pity embarrassed her more than anything else. Lexie quickly tried to

wipe her mouth as best she could and staggered off. The last night in the motel, her room smelled as foul as it ever did. The next morning she woke up with such a feeling of

claustrophobia, it felt like the room was caving in on itself and the stench had grown throughout the night. She traced the She got rid

smell to a dead rat underneath the bathroom sink. of it, sticky stiffened gray pelt and all.

Soon after, with the stench of death still in her nostrils, she raced out of the motel, and it was during her walk she found Miss Melley. She walked for blocks, enamored by the world of Schwinn bikes and swing sets. Each house was well cared for with

manicured lawns and picket fences, and the occasional wind chime hanging by a front door. Palmetto was a town of bake sales,

church on Sundays, and Bingo nights every Tuesday and Thursday at the town hall. It was a place so foreign to her and a place which seemed to hold no possibilities for her. She wasnt sure she wanted to

7 stay and then Lexie came across Miss Melleys brick house and its garden full of jasmine. The jasmine is what led her, and its sticky sweet smell seduced her and called her up Miss Melleys stone steps. She

was standing on the front porch, taking in the wind chimes and the swinging chair that she saw the sign claiming a room for rent and rang the doorbell. Lexie heard a flurry of activity from inside and a cheery voice calling out to her. The door opened and Miss Melley

appeared. She was a petite older woman with a cloud of white hair. So, feeling better from the last time I saw you? Melley asked. Yeah, I Lexies voice trailed off as she realized she was talking to the woman with the blue truck, and Miss Melleys grin broadened. Well, I see you saw my sign, Miss Melley said and yanked her inside. Lexie was given a whirlwind tour of the house, all four stories including the attic and basement. She was shown the Miss

spare bedroom, which Miss Melley explained was once her daughter Annas, before she moved away to have children of her own. The

house was coziness itself, all dark wood and plush furniture,

8 and photographs of Miss Melley with a black man Lexie assumed was her husband. Miss Melley explained a few things in rapid succession. She was a widow for nearly ten years and in the towns opinion, a bit of a misfit. She believed the spirit of the lord could

heal all things, and expected the rent to be paid on the fifth of every month. The rent was three hundred dollars a month,

which was just around what Lexie had left. If you can live with all this, by all means stay. You

look like a bit of a misfit yourself, so Ill take it youll be staying, Miss Melley said in closing, the tiniest of smirks on her lips. Lexie smiled in return and knew she would like the woman, who looked like an aging hippie and didnt ask her any questions. So, she returned to the fleabag motel, passing Paul

Morris who sat at the front desk watching pay-per-view porn in the middle of the afternoon. Lexie picked up her duffel bag, collected the last of the money she had and went back to Miss Melleys. She forked over

the three hundred bucks, and just like that she had a place to live. There were no boundaries to Miss Melleys generosity and she brought Lexie to Joes Diner. people who turned her away. Joe was one of the many

He was a curmudgeon of a man, squat

9 of body and abrupt in manner. run-in with Joe. Lexie told Miss Melley of her

In spite of Lexies protests, Miss Melley

dragged her back to the diner. Lexie sat in the diner, which was all steel chrome, mint green booths, hungry customers, and waitresses in long-sleeved green jumpers. Miss Melley stood in a blue caftan gesturing

wildly, as Joe stood with his arms crossed and brow furrowed. Something Miss Melley said mustve worked, because he walked up to her as Miss Melley watched from a far. You again, Joe said, looking annoyed. the hell you are. I dont know who You have

You seemed to drop out of nowhere.

no experience as a waitress, but Miss Melley likes you and I like Miss Melley. So, youre hired. Youll be working the

morning shift with Lorraine and Lucy, eight to twelve, and if there is even one day youre late, youre out on your ass. Got

it? His accent was thick and his words drawn out like molasses. Got it. That was Joe, and he was a pain in her ass, but he let her wear boots with her uniform and he let her go on smoke breaks. She was glad the uniform she wore had long sleeves, so she could hide the scars on her arms. Her scars were her own and she

didnt want to invite any more questions.

10 The questions came anyway, in the form of an exchange with a police officer. station. May I have a bowl of chicken noodle soup? He asked, and his voice was gentle, as if he was use to his height being overbearing, and insisted on toning everything else down. Sure, Lexie replied Youre new here arent you? Yep, she answered tersely, hoping the questions would stop, and quickly scribbled down his order. Im Officer Charles Wood but everybody calls me, Charlie. Great, she replied, and disappeared into the kitchen. When Lexie came out again, he was chatting up one of the other waitresses. She could see he was charming in a boyish She placed the bowl of soup in He was tall and lanky and sat down at her

way, but he was still a cop.

front of him, and her sleeve pulled up a bit to reveal the beginning of her scar. Howd you get that, if I may ask? he asked. I dont like talking about it. Enjoy your soup.

His gaze was on her the whole time he was there, and when he finally left, a generous tip was on the table. she felt bad, but only for a moment. Lexie wasnt the best waitress. She got orders wrong and Thankfully the money For a moment

she was slow, but Joe kept her on anyway.

11 was decent and the people were nice, and understandably curious about her. She was known as Miss Melleys girl. She always

Miss Melley was almost too good to be believed. cooked dinner for them both.

Lexie would come home and

inevitably jazz would be playing in the background and a pot roast or roasted chicken would be in the oven. One night Lexie was coerced into having a glass of singlemalt scotch with her on the front porch. One glass turned into

several as they sat under the stars, and Miss Melley told her the tale of how she met her first and only love. It was that

night, their relationship changed and Lexie allowed Miss Melley into her heart a little. Miss Melley met her late husband during the tail end of the 1950s, the time of bobby socks and poodle skirts and drag racing. They both grew up in Detroit, Michigan, but their

worlds collided when Miss Melley was eighteen. The courtship was swift and they quickly married. Her family and society shunned her because she followed her heart and fell in love with a black man. The vow till death do us

part was serious between them and they loved each other fiercely. The two of them lived in a love nest of a cramped apartment. The bathtub leaked and roaches were trying to take He worked as a mail

over, but they were deliriously happy.

12 clerk and she worked as a secretary. One day he came home

beaten within an inch of his life by a group of white men, who disapproved of his choice of bride. Miss Melley sobbed as she

cleaned the blood off his face, and tried to mend his puffed out and blackened eyes. Miss Melley asked him between sobs if he wanted to stay with her. Harold shrugged and forced a smile on to his swollen

bloodied lips, and answered he had no choice because he was in love. They made love on the kitchen floor, and decided if

Detroit couldnt deal with them, they wouldnt deal with Detroit. They packed up their belongings and went on a road

trip, and a drunken Miss Melley confided that to this day it was one of the best things she ever did. They found Palmetto and never left. The only trouble She moved from

between them was Miss Melleys misadventures. thing to thing.

First it was a catering business, then it was a

new flower shop, among others, and they lost money with each endeavor. During those times, their daughter Anna was the uniting force between them. remained. In spite of all the drama their love

When Harold died of prostate cancer after thirty

years of marriage, Miss Melley mourned him and threw her pain into her clay pots shed been making for years. Her little

hobby was the business that eventually stuck and shed been

13 selling her clay pots ever since. Miss Melley peddled her goods

at street fairs and little shops throughout Texas, and would just pack up her blue truck and go. As Miss Melley finished her tale that starry night, tears were in her eyes, and she wished Harold were alive to see her wild ways come to a conclusion. She slowly drifted off to sleep

in the swinging chair and Lexie just put a blanket on her, and walked inside. She knew what it was like to miss someone.

Missing someone is what kept her up at night, smoking in the wee hours or waking up from crying in her sleep. So, as

Lexie smoked under the shadows of the ceiling fan, her bed sheets thrown onto the floor, she wept until her body shook. The first rays of sunlight started to spill into her room and she heard the sounds of birds chirping. She lay there with

sunken eyes framed in dark circles, and tears drying on her cheeks and managed to drift back to sleep.

Just like my daughter, always rushing off, Miss Melley said with the usual twinkle in her eye, as Lexie rose from the breakfast table, abandoning her half-eaten breakfast and Miss

14 Melleys mud like coffee. She marveled how Miss Melley could

turn a slab of raw meat into art, yet her coffee was complete shit, but Lexie drank it anyway. Shed been sitting in the sunlit kitchen, with its walls the deep golden color of sand. needed to be out in the open. from her ghosts. Im sorry, Miss Melley, she said. I just feel like moving today. She put a hand on Miss Melleys shoulder as she walked out into the day. The leaves were turning and the world was colored Lexie walked the streets just wandering, The faster she walked, her It was so peaceful, but she Maybe moving she could run away

red, orange, and gold.

but her memories never left her. mind raced to catch up.

The only thing that made her stop was a little girl up ahead, playing in a front yard. nine or ten. The girl looked to be about

She wore a bottle green sundress and was doing

cartwheel after cartwheel, exposing underwear with matching green frogs on them. At each cartwheel, her glasses slipped off

her nose and fell into the grass, and the girl cackled with delight. Her two long red pigtails glowed copper in the light. She began

The girl stopped and turned to face Lexie. waving her hand, beckoning Lexie closer.

At first Lexie was

15 going to turn and start walking in the other direction, but the little girl wouldnt let her go that easily. Hey! The girl yelled and her voice was filled with the exuberance of the young. In that one word Lexie heard games of

Double-Dutch and Hide-and-Go-Seek. She walked toward the girl, the girls face coming into full bloom: the freckles across her cheeks, her mouth a plump

pink slash in her small face, her eyes revealed an old soul and were large behind her glasses. down to pint-sized. stared at Lexie. Youre new here arent you? the little girl asked. Lexie didnt answer. She was too busy taking in the little She looked like a woman shrunk

She stood behind her wrought-iron gate and

girl with the tambourine at her bare feet, and a teddy bear thrown into the grass beside it. Youre new here arent you? the girl repeated using a tone usually reserved for the very young or the severely insane. Yeah, I am. Whats your name? Whats yours? I asked you first, the girl replied, putting her hands on her hips and tapping her foot impatiently. Fair enough. Im Emily. Its Lexie.

16 The little girl offered her hand through the bars of the iron gate, and Lexie shook it. Nice to meet you, Emily. Youre one of Miss Melleys

You work at the diner right? girls. Howd you know all that? Everybody knows. she had.

I hope youre nicer than the last girl

What happened with the last girl? She ran off, stole a bunch of stuff and Miss Melleys wedding ring. I wont be doing that. Well see. Lexie couldnt help but laugh. balls bigger than her own. Ten. The girl seemed to have

How old are you?

Well, actually Im nine and three quarters, my

birthday is not till next February. The door of the little pale yellow stucco house swung open and a lovely brunette woman stood in the doorway, wearing a green checkered apron, and her hair in a bun. She looked

startled to see Lexie, and Lexie took a step back from the gate. Hey, Mom. cartwheel. Oh, youre the new girl at the diner. Citron, and I see you know my daughter. Hello, Im Nancy This is Lexie, Emily said and did another

17 Well she kind of made herself known, Lexie said and smiled as Emily threw herself on the ground in a fit of giggles. Mom, can we have her in for breakfast? Emily asked as she lay in the grass, her chin in her hands. Oh, thats not necessary, Lexie backpedaled. Oh no, dont worry, we made plenty. welcome. Youre more than

Nancy Citron said and smiled a megawatt smile, which

lit the day up more than the sun itself. See, Emily stated. They both looked at her expectantly, and she couldnt do anything but cave in. So, that is how she ended up inside the

Citrons little stucco house, sitting at their kitchen table with a plate stacked high with bacon and eggs in front of her. She pushed her food around her plate and tried to make conversation. The Citrons were a lovely family. Daniel Citron was a His fiery mane

banker and doted on both his wife and daughter.

mirrored his daughters, but Emilys puckish nature was all her own. Lexie sat and listened to them banter about Daniels job, The

Nancys PTA meetings, and Emilys time at summer camp.

moment was so saccharine it wouldve been nauseating, if it werent so genuine. She talked and picked at her eggs and tried to pretend she knew about the things they discussed, instead of the things that

18 were dark and sinister and followed her throughout her life. Emily walked her out, leading her by the hand, and Lexie almost didnt want to leave the sanctity of their home. You did good in there. I passed, huh? Emily nodded and gave her a kiss on the cheek, making Lexie lean down a bit as she wound her little arms around her neck. Then Emily opened the gate and she exited. shed be seeing her again. Lexie didnt think Emily grinned from ear to ear.

That night after a nice chat with Miss Melley, Lexie laid out her uniform for the next day. She thought of Sister

Margaret, the woman who was a mother to her more than her own. It was the nuns money that helped get her to Texas. Before she could stop herself she found herself writing a letter to the nun, who could be dead for all she knew. She

wrote furiously and her hand cramped up and her vision blurred with fatigue. hand. When she was done she held fifteen pages in her

She quickly stuffed the pages into the envelope and For one moment, she considered not

scrawled her return address.

19 sending it and letting herself remain a phantom. she couldnt do that, not with her. So Lexie threw a robe on over her nightgown, and ran down the stairs and out the door in her slippers and entered the night. A fine mist hovered in the air and it was beautiful. But she knew

She walked to the mailbox, opened it, and stared into the empty chasm. She dropped the envelope in the slot before she could give herself a chance to think too deeply, which was always a mistake. She watched the envelope float down into the darkness

and hoped it was for the best.

The weeks drifted by after that and suddenly it was the beginning of October. Her days were filled with slaving away at

Joes and she was glad to have something to occupy her from her nightmares, which always lingered. Most nights before bed she

would talk to Miss Melley as long as possible, trying to ignore her fatigue. However she was often alone in the big house, due

to Miss Melleys frequent outings with her clay pots in tow.

20 It was hard to sleep alone, but she did. nightmares came no matter what. However, the

It was on such a night, she

tossed and turned lost in her own dark history, which bled into her dreams. She woke up to a knocking at her bedroom door.

Hello? The door opened a crack letting in a sliver of light from the hallway. Miss Melley stood with her knitting in hand.

Lexie, Im sorry to wake you, but Mrs. Citron is on the phone. For me? Come downstairs. Miss Melley went away and she stared at the open door. What would she want with me? eyes adjusted to the light. She made her way downstairs, her Miss Melley waited patiently in the Miss

living room, and handed her the black princess phone.

Melley was one of the few people on earth, who still had a rotary dial. Hello? Oh, Lexie, Nancy Citron said. late. Lexie smiled, it was barely ten o clock, but this was small town life. Its fine. Im sorry to call so

Well Im sure youre wondering why Im calling and I dont want to put you in an awkward position. Lauren, has a case of strep throat But our babysitter,

21 Lexie stopped listening to what Nancy Citron was saying. The thought of taking care of a child, any child, put the fear of God into her. Well, its a shame, Nancy Citron continued to chatter away. But I was wondering if you could baby sit Emily tomorrow Its the

night, while Daniel and I are at his work function. Fall Ball and Im sure itll be quite boring. Oh, uh, I dont know, Mrs. Citron.

Im not that good with

kids. She lit a cigarette and then immediately put it out, when Miss Melley passed by and frowned. Oh, but Emily just adores you! Ever since you came by

that day, she cant stop talking about you. Lexie remained silent. Please, Lexie. Okay, okay. You will? Yeah. Nancy Citron breathed a sigh of relief so deep that Lexie couldve sworn she felt it. Thank you, Lexie. Thank you. Ill do it.

They arranged for Lexie to arrive at six in the evening, and Nancy and Daniel would return at midnight. Six hours, Lexie

thought after she mumbled a good night and hung up the receiver. Six hours, God help me.

22

Lexie walked up the Citrons street, the autumn leaves were all around her and she was amazed how time was flying by. For

years she kept such a strong hold on time it was nice to not notice it at all. She knocked on the door wanting to turn back, but then the door opened and Nancy Citron stood among a cloud of Chanel No. 5 perfume, looking stunning in an emerald green party dress. Come in, Lexie. Lexie followed her into the foyer and then into the living room. Daniel Citron sat on the couch in a sleek double-breasted

blue suit, and Emily sat on his lap playing with his tie in her best attempt to distract him from the television. Daniel barely acknowledged their entrance, but Emily sprang up off his lap and hugged Lexie tight. awkwardly. Oh, hello, Lexie, Daniel said looking up. feet and shook her hand. He rose to his She hugged the girl back

Are we glad to see you. He gave Emily a quick kiss,

Daniel and Nancy left quickly.

helped Nancy on with her coat, and then they were gone. They told Lexie the emergency numbers were all taped up by the phone

23 in the kitchen, and she watched them rush off. scent of her perfume in her wake. Lexie and Emily were alone, and Lexie stood at a loss of what to do. There was nothing to worry about. Emily took it The little girl took her by the Nancy left the

upon herself to take charge.

hand and insisted she take her shoes off. Were going to get good and cozy, Emily said with a devilish grin, her words even more endearing since they were dipped in her lazy Texan drawl. She dragged Lexie into the kitchen and put some Jiffy Pop on the stove. She told Lexie they would be watching E.T. the Lexie never saw it before, and of course she They stood barefoot as Emily chattered away

Extra Terrestrial. didnt explain why.

like a magpie and Lexie bobbed her head along. When they finally settled into watch the movie, Lexies anxieties left her completely and she became absorbed in the story. Emily teased her for crying when E.T. became sick and

Lexie wiped her tears away with a grin. They played three games of Scrabble and towards the end of the third game, it was a quarter to ten and Emily was yawning profusely. Time to go up to bed, kid, Lexie insisted throughout Emilys whining.

24 Emily did as she was told. Lexie tucked her into bed, and

her cross fell out of its hiding place beneath her shirt collar and swung from the chain around her neck. held it between her tiny fists. inscription. This is for our love? Emily asked. A cross. I can see that. Who gave it to you? Whats this? Emily grabbed it and

She turned it over and read the

Lexie remained mute for a moment, and pulled the cross gently out of Emilys hands and tucked it back underneath her shirt. It was given to me a long time ago.

By a boy? Yeah. Get some sleep.

She left Emilys room, shutting the bedroom door, trying to shut out the questions that were threatening even coming from a child. She went back down to the living room and sat on the Citrons couch. Before she knew it she dozed off, her head merely tilting back, and had a dream like no other. She dreamed

of a house on fire, smelled the scent of burning flesh and saw herself screaming among the flames. She woke up with a start to

the sound of keys jangling in the lock and Daniel Citrons laughter. Greetings, Lexie! He said laughing a little too loudly.

25 Oh, Lexie, Nancy said following behind and laughing at her husband. Drunk! Dont mind, Daniel, hes just-- You can say it! Daniel sat down in his armchair

and loosened his tie. Yeah.

So, Lexie, did Emily treat you alright? We watched movies and ate too

Yeah, she was great.

much popcorn. boots.

She rose up off the couch and slipped into her

How was the Fall Ball? Daniel boasted.

It was boring but the drinks were great! Werent they, honey? Six.

How many drinks did I have?

Nancy Citrons tone was of a woman who had played She dug in her purse and Here

this game with her husband before. fished out her wallet. you go, Lexie. Thanks.

She handed Lexie fifty dollars.

Thanks for coming through for us. Lexie shrugged and pocketed the money. She

wanted to get out, and the remnants of her dream seemed to hang about the room. Nancy escorted her out as Daniel waved goodbye, and then she was off into the night. She jumped at shadows all the way

back to Miss Melleys and the image of flames danced in her brain.

26

The days stretched on and her dreams grew worse than before. Her cigarette habit zoomed up to two and a half packs a

day as Lexie chased every edgy thought or nightmare with a Pall Mall. One morning she woke up from another night of torture. She

sat on her bed weeping uncontrollably and clawing at her arms to shock herself out of it, then she was still as her tears dried on her cheeks. She sat there for a while and then began to get

dressed, compelled to go outside and escape the lunacy of her own head. Once outside Lexie smoked and walked, shouting a quick hello to Miss Melley who puttered around in the garden, and she was jittery at the sound of crickets. She passed by most of the

residential areas until she reached the park where most of the kids played. The park itself was really a more manicured section of the woods, which sprawled around Palmetto beautiful and wild. Lexie

began to wander one of the trails, enjoying the quiet of the forest. Suddenly a wave of the foulest smell hit her almost It smelled like the rat she found

knocking her off her feet. under the motel sink.

It smelled like death.

She spotted something, a rather large something, in the brush up ahead of her and she began to shiver. Somethings dead

27 or someones dead, she thought. She walked closer and carefully

picked up a stick, just in case it wasnt quite dead and maybe dangerous. As she got closer, she realized it was not a rat It was a small boy, and the blue bloated

that lay in the brush. corpse was quite real.

Lexie knelt by the body and tentatively turned it over and the boys face gazed up at her. His eyes were lifeless and He wore

glazed over, his curly brown hair encrusted with blood.

a navy windbreaker over his little blue overalls, and he only had one red Converse sneaker on, his other foot was covered by a muddy yellow sock. What was in his hands is what turned her

blood cold even more than the sight of him. He clutched a cross on a thin gold chain, which was identical to the one she never took off. She carefully pried it

out of his hands, and turned the cross over to see the inscription, this is for our love. She didnt know how a cross, which should be buried six feet under with a dead man, now rested in her hands. around and then stuffed it in her coat pocket. Lexie put the palm of her hand on his chest, praying foolishly for some semblance of life, but he was like ice. The She looked

cross, the boy, the emotion of it all hit her in waves and she began crying and gagging all at once. Her jeans were growing

damp from the leaves, wet from a recent rainfall, as she knelt

28 on all fours. Nausea seized her and she vomited. She remained

on her knees until the last of her heaving subsided, and then ran out of the woods to get the police.

29

Reality

I told I didnt see anything, Lexie said for the hundredth time. She stared up at the chiseled face of Officer

Greene and just wished he would go away. He came out to meet her along with the tall boyish policeman named Officer Charles. However, Officer Greene

appeared to be the one in command, asking all the questions. I know thats what you said, but sometimes the shock of things takes a while to shake. before you speak. Im just asking you to think

Officer Greene reached out as if to put a

hand on her shoulder, or her arm, but she immediately stepped away. I dont like being touched. Lexie folded her arms across her chest and looked at the area of trees, which was sectioned off with police caution tape. Officer Charles spoke with the paramedics who just put the boys body into the van, and he held a red Converse sneaker in his

30 hand. She watched all this coldly, cruelly, because she had to

remove herself so she wouldnt lose her mind. Mrs. or Miss Carpenter, which is it? Miss. Yes. I see you found his other shoe. We did. Officer Greene glanced over at Officer

Charles and the paramedics and frowned, and then turned his attention back to her. Look, Miss Carpenter, I know its a

terrible thing that happened here. Its not just more paperwork to me. His gaze was so earnest, she almost believed him. The

paramedics van, which began to slowly drive off and Officer Charles gave it a light smack to send it on its way. Who are you staying with? Officer Greenes question pulled her out of herself. Melley. Oh, youre the one. Yeah. Do you need a ride home? No. Thank you. Officer Greene inquired Miss

You work at Joes dont you?

further as Lexie wondered what the point was. Yeah. Ive seen you there once or twice. breakfast the other day. You brought me

31 I dont remember you. I serve a lot of people.

He had an injured look on his face, and she was surprised by it. She knew he was just trying to be kind, to make the best She just wanted

of a hideous circumstance and she didnt care.

to go back to Miss Melleys and pretend none of this ever happened. The thought of the cross in her pocket made her brain Lexie began to walk away.

ask her a million questions.

Did you know the boy? He called out after her as she walked further away, and Officer Charles began to walk toward them both. What would make you think that? she asked. His question

made her whip around, and she looked at him with as much suspicion as he looked at her. You might have. No. Are you sure you dont need a ride home?

I want to walk.

She left Officer Greene standing there with Officer Charles by his side, and could feel their eyes burning a hole in her back, but she would not look back. She kept walking out of

there away from the madness of that scene.

32 Images of what Lexie saw kept coming back to her. A flash

of the boy's yellow sock, his eyes so blank, how cold he'd been. All of it paraded within her consciousness until that was all she could see. She made her way home, walking fast then full

out running, and once she reached Miss Melley's she collapsed on the porch. breath. Lexie lay there, curled up in a ball gasping for

The windows were all dark and Miss Melley was not home.

She put a Pall Mall into her mouth and pulled herself up, and sat on the stairs and smoked and waited for Miss Melley to come. Miss Melley didn't come home until late afternoon with an armful of groceries, and Lexie was there to greet her, a lit cigarette in hand. "What's wrong?" Miss Melley asked, because the look on Lexie's face was reason enough. Lexie told her about the boy and the stench of death she found, and they went inside and had a whiskey.

That night Lexie and Miss Melley talked little, and Lexie excused herself from dinner and eased herself into a bath, then she lay down on her bed and immediately went to sleep. Her

33 sleep was plagued by dreams of the dead boy's face and her own disturbing memories. When she woke up the next morning it was

as if she didn't sleep at all. She dressed and went downstairs, her red cowboy boots tapping on the steps. She stopped at the foot of the stairs at

the sound of voices, Miss Melley's and a man's deep baritone. She entered the kitchen on edge and saw Miss Melley in her gardening clothes, sitting at the kitchen table chatting away to Officer Greene. "Lexie!" Miss Melley greeted her. newspaper. "You made the paper." She held up the local

The front page read Local Woman Finds Murdered Boy. Lexie was itching to read it, and it took everything in her not to grab the paper then and there. being there changed everything. He turned in his chair and for the first time Lexie really looked at him. He was relatively young, around his mid-thirties He had a However, Officer Greene

and his hair was starting to gray at the temples.

slim muscled physique, and she remembered from the other day that he was quite tall. He was handsome, she had to admit that, He looked at her with subdued

but she still didnt trust him. interest.

34 "Lexie, you know Officer Greene," Miss Melley said clapping him on the back. "Assistant Chief Greene, he used to come

around more often before he got promoted." Officer Greene laughed and rose out of his chair. Miss

Melley, you know I always make time for you. He extended his hand and gave Lexie a firm handshake. from the other day. Yes, I remember. Lexie noticed his hands were rough and She went Im sure you remember me

smooth at the same time, like a carpenters hands.

over to the kitchen counter and poured herself a cup of coffee, wanting any excuse not to look at him, because there was something about his blue-green eyes that made it hard for her to lie. Well, I think Im going to tend to my roses, Miss Melley said, and went into the outdoors leaving an awkward silence in her wake. I was hoping you remembered anything you might have seen, said Officer Greene. "I remember all too much of it. all." A dead body and that is "And I'm glad I

Lexie slumped down into a kitchen chair.

didn't see anything else." "Yes, that's what you keep saying." Officer Greene took a

sip of his coffee, giving her a level stare over the edge of the cup.

35 "Do you know how he died?" "Yes, he was strangled. The blood on his forehead confused

us, but it was from hitting his head as he struggled." "God, that's terrible." They took her words in, sitting in the silence and looking at each other with the quiet understanding of how horrible life can be. "We haven't had a homicide in Palmetto for quite some time," Officer Greene said, as she poured them both another cup of coffee. "The last time was over five years ago. Two drunk

teenaged boys, drunk with something to prove, always a lethal combination. They fought over a girl and one of them ended up The other one is still in

in the morgue stabbed to death.

juvenile hall before he gets moved to federal prison for the last two years of his sentence. That was before I got here and

I didn't expect to see any homicides during my stint. Especially not a little boy. So, if you wonder why I've been

hounding you, it's 'cause I don't ever want to see something like this again." "Well things often happen that you don't expect." Lexie

rose out of her chair, twitchy and nervous and she couldn't stop staring at his hands. "Do you want some more coffee? He smiled at her in a way that

You already gave me some. was unexpectedly charming.

36 Sorry. Im just a little distracted, she told the truth, I just was out for a walk, you know

which was rare for her.

She leaned up against the kitchen counter and stared down at the floor. I know Im asking a lot, but if you find out anything That little boy had a mom. He looked away from her, his jaw tensing.

can you let me know? And an aunt.

I was with her when she identified him. Im sorry. So am I.

Lexie sat on the porch watching Miss Melley tend to her garden. Officer Greene left soon after his time with her,

giving his card that had both his work and home numbers she noticed. She knew she would use neither. He was nice enough

but she would not help him.

This was something that was meant

for her, and the cross said it all as much as she may try to deny it. So, once Officer Greene left, Lexie watched him through the kitchen window go over to Miss Melley in the garden. He did his

best with his six-foot frame not to trample the roses, and he

37 gave her a big bear hug as Miss Melley giggled like a schoolgirl. She snatched up the paper and went out with her

cigarette and curled up on the swinging chair. There she read voraciously, but the article was a lurid disappointment. There was no sentimentality, no fond

remembrances of the small boy she learned was named Brian Hay and was only five years old. The article held no quotes about how he was a good son, or good in school, or a burgeoning athlete, nothing in the article helped preserve the boys memory. It was almost as if he never existed. She put down the

paper and tried not to cry.

All Lexie could think of is how she

found that cross, and she could picture it nestled in a drawer with her scarf wrapped around it. Are you okay? She looked up to see Miss Melley standing in front of her in muddy boots and dungarees, with rose thorns caught in her graying hair, and holding a hoe. No, she said. my mind. I know. You dont say much, but I know. Miss Melley Miss Melley, I cant get that boy out of

peered at her so intensely that she was taken aback. What?

38 You know Officer Greene isnt a bad man. man at all. You can trust him. I never said I couldnt. You didnt have to. Miss Melley turned away and walked back toward her garden, saying over her shoulder, Ill start making lunch for us in a little while. We can eat together before you go to work. He isnt a bad

Lexie watched Miss Melley putter around in her garden for a bit, a jumble of thoughts in her head. sick and twisted reprehensible thing. She was witness to a She wanted to let it lie,

and ignore every part of her that told her what happened was personal. So, she did ignore the insistent feelings in her heart and in her head, and went inside to take a shower.

Youre not a small town guy are you? Lexie and Officer Greene sat in Miss Melleys living room, drinking fifteen-year-old Scotch and listening to Miles Davis long after Miss Melley went to bed. Life went on after Brian

Hays death and Lexie continued to get up in the morning and go to work. mind. The image of the boys face was never far from her

39 From time to time, Officer Greene came in for something to eat and he always sat in her station. Charles, he came alone. If he wasnt with Officer

They would chat for a while, the They would

unasked questions hovering in the air between them. talk around what was really on their minds--the boy.

They would talk about the weather, or what was on the television the night before. They were mundane things. They

were safe things, and it was just fine with Lexie. as she liked it.

It was just

Over time Lexie found out little things about Officer Greene. He was unmarried. walked down it. He came close to the altar but never

He owned a fifteen-year-old well-loved basset

hound, named Buck, who was blind in one eye but scampered about like a newborn puppy. He snuck Buck into the diner once, and

Joe whooped and hollered upon finding the dog trying to get into the kitchen. but laugh. The whole event was comical and she couldnt help

She found out he played the violin, not well, but he

played it and he was the youngest of three boys. Lexie also found out Jake liked jazz and a good glass of scotch, but that was by accident when she came home to find him sitting down to a perfectly done roast with Miss Melley. They all sat down to dinner and Miss Melley made Officer Greene remove his gun from his holster, and put it out of sight. However, he wore it now with her, and Lexie stared at it

40 fascinated. She lay on the couch, her legs outstretched with a He sat in the overstuffed She

blanket thrown casually over them.

armchair opposite her and part of her wished he hadnt.

knew it was time to put talk of all mundane things aside. They lounged letting the slow start of becoming tipsy take them over and he talked about his travels. One summer, when he

was twenty or so, he backpacked across Europe with his cousin Mark. They had to sleep on a park bench in Amsterdam, the money They managed

from their parents not arriving for another day.

to find perhaps one of the few Chinese restaurants in Amsterdam, and his cousin charmed his way into getting them both a free meal. At the end of his story, Lexie wanted to plumb the depths of him a little further, and her curiosity prompted her question. He looked at her now with pleasure, glad she

possessed the insight to notice he wasnt small town at all. No, Im not, he said. small town. Not unless you consider Jersey

I managed to escape without the accent.

Managed to escape? Well, were always trying to escape from somewhere arent we? Yes, we are. They looked at each other and he grinned impishly, and she couldnt help but smirk. She watched as he poured himself

41 another glass of Scotch, and he got up and refilled her glass. He reached over to rearrange her blanket, which was beginning to fall off her. He quickly returned to his chair, embarrassed by His shirtsleeves were rolled up and Lexie never

the attention he paid her.

she saw a huge t-shaped scar on his inner forearm. noticed it before and she knew what it meant. reason she wore long sleeves constantly.

It was the same

Lexie moved towards him, and got off the couch and grabbed his arm before he could sit. She never touched him before and

she was surprised he didnt flinch. What? He whispered. She turned his arm over to expose the soft white lines of scarred flesh and looked at him. OhI chickened out on the other one. He placed his other

arm out for her to inspect, its skin was smooth and unmarked. Lexie didnt ask why, because everyones reason to end it all was different. When? He sat and gestured for her to sit as well. So she sat on She asked what really interested her.

the huge floor pillow at his feet, and he put the scotch bottle between them. There was more silence, then more conversation. So,

I was a cop in New York City for nearly seven years. Ive seen a lot, he said.

My first time patrolling, me and my

partner--he was more seasoned than me and annoyed he was saddled

42 with a rookie--were called down to a run down apartment building. The neighbors were complaining about some rock music

that was blaring since the early hours of dawn. I remember when we got to the apartment, you could hear the sound of Credence Clearwaters Bad Moon Rising, the bass vibrated through the walls and the front door. My partner and I

had the super open the door, and I was so gung ho I already had my gun out. There was no need for it.

He took several sips of his scotch as if all his talking made him unbearably thirsty. Yet, Lexie knew it was just the

old ghosts of memory coming back to get their grip on him, that made him drink in long hard swallows. He passed her the scotch She thought she

and she poured herself another healthy helping.

would probably need some for his story as well, a little liquid courage. The guy was dead in his apartment. the door. The smell hit us from

Hed been dead for several days and the music blaring I guess he never turned it

was the alarm on his clock radio. off. Jesus.

They both took a long drink and Officer Greenes story went on. My partner and I moved inside and I immediately ran into the bathroom and threw up my entire lunch and then some.

43 At admitting this omission she saw him blush wildly, his cheeks growing hot and she was amused by it. He was sitting in his armchair, kind of one like this. He gestured down to the chair he sat in. And half of his head was laid out on the upholstery. Its funny because at first I

thought all that blood and brains was a part of the pattern, you know? Because the chair was red, but it was him. All him.

Hed blown his head off with a shotgun.

It was still resting

between his knees, the barrel of the gun resting in his mouth, what was left of it. The song Strangers in the Night began to play, a nice interlude in between the jazz melodies. softly to it. Anyway, I saw a lot of stuff like that, he resumed his story. After a while I grew numb to it, to everything. I Officer Greene hummed

moved up in the ranks, worked in Vice. I ended up working on a case, trying to take down this drug dealer who was peddling to kids. High school kids who wanted to live like rock stars, and We raided his

whose parents had the means to do just that.

house one night, and found him sitting among bags and bags of coke. Plus, he was high out of his mind from his own stuff. succumbed right away, which was surprising. the floor, did all the right things. He

He lay face down on

From the start the whole

44 operation was shaky and chaotic. There were too many cops

involved, too many cooks in the broth. Lexie nodded just a little to confirm she was listening. She wanted to know why tonight he chose to share anything. was the most he ever talked, she didnt know if it was the scotch or the night, but she was glad. We got all our information from a source, a hopped up junkie named Vic, Jake went on. We were told our guy would be It

up at his place once the shipment arrived, tallying his supply. He would get his supply, come home, fuck his girlfriend, and then get his affairs in order. were stupid. Period. We thought he was alone. We

We didnt know his girlfriend was in the Our boys hadnt checked that room She got three

bathroom with two automatics. yet.

She came out shooting and pregnant as hell.

of our men and accidentally got her boyfriend in the shoulder. Then she turned towards me and I shot her. Lexie slowly exhaled, she hadnt realized she stopped breathing. her. I had to, he continued too caught up in his own story to stop. now. I had to. I didnt realize that then, but I realize it Right The pained expression on his face just about killed

She went down so fast, dead on the first shot.

through the heart, the coroner said. before, never had to.

Id never killed anyone

Id fired a few warning shots in the air,

45 but Id neverAnyway, it hit me pretty hard. that I killed anybody, but-- She was pregnant on top of it, Lexie finished for him. She was as caught up as he was in the memory. She just pictured It was bad enough

the woman laying on the floor, with her swollen belly pointed up toward the sky, her blood slowly pumping out of her. Yes. He sighed. The baby died too. That was the worst

of it, killing an innocent child. shoulder, but I didnt think. down, and a gun aiming at me.

If maybe Id hit her in the

All I saw were three officers

What else could you have done? Yeah, what else? sip of his drink. He laughed bitterly and took another

I went a little crazy after that, even I had all these dreams every I just cant get

though the only one I hurt was me. night of that woman. her out of my head. I know what thats like.

Sometimes I still do.

Being haunted by something.

She pushed up her sleeves and showed him her arms, revealing the scars that long ago faded, now they were just maps of her misery. I see. He took one of her arms, and she didnt move, but He stared at it for a Haunted. Thats

let him trace the outline of her scar.

long time then let her arm go and sat back.

46 exactly what I was. I was so haunted, that I called in sick to

work one day and typed up a letter, saying so many things that amounted to pretty much that I loathed myself. Then I stood in

front of my bathroom mirror, with a straight razor in my hand. I took a good long look at myself, and I stretched my arms out in front of me. He refilled his glass and her glass as well. clinked together their glasses and he continued. They quietly I had the Right or Do

hardest time considering which wrist to cut first. left. Right or left.

As you can see I went with the right.

you want to change the music? Jake got up and sauntered to the stereo with surprising ease considering the scotch was fully flowing for quite some time. He perused Miss Melleys collection than picked out Miles

Davis Giant Step. Jake came back and sat in his armchair and said no more. Well, what happened? Oh. He looked stunned that she wanted to know the outcome. I passed out from the sight of my own blood, I I managed to get

painted the ceiling there was so much of it. it right on the artery. housekeeper showed up. thankfully called 911. paramedics revived me.

I forgot that was the day Juanita my I gave her a hell of a surprise. She

I was dead for two minutes, but the I didnt see any white light. I didnt

47 see anything at all really. Just blackness. Lots of blackness,

and then, I know it sounds crazy, but But what? I was there. I mean I saw everything. body. I saw the medics tending to me. I was outside my

I remember one of them

was wearing a small Alfred E. Newman button on the collar of his uniform, and it read what me worry. They hooked that crazy

machine onto me, a defibrillator I think its called, and they shocked the hell out of me. My body arched up several times and

then I was breathing, with my eyes rolling back into my head. At that point I felt as if I was slammed back inside myself. Thats when I was rushed to the hospital. well a long time off after that. I took some time,

I took a paid leave, and all I

did was putter around, read a lot of books, and went back to my old haunts in Jersey. Then I decided I missed being a cop, but So, here I am. Ive

I knew I didnt want to do it in New York.

been here for four years now. What about you? What about me? He pointed to her arm and looked at her expectantly. OhI made a mistake a long time ago. And? And I She stopped wondering if she should tell him everything. She wondered if it was worth the risk. Yet, she

owed him something, she knew that.

After what he told her, she

48 owed him something resembling the truth. I was young, I betrayed someone I loved. A long time ago when He thought the best of I

me, but in the end I couldnt say the same about myself.

thought I could never recover, because I knew he wouldnt and I tried to leave it all behindit didnt work. Now, Im glad it didnt. And have you recovered? Some days, yes. Some days, no. Well, Im glad you didnt succeed. He smiled at her and she smiled back. herself, maybe I can trust this man. Lexie, what do you think of Palmetto? the homicides? His tone was nonchalant as Besseme Mucho started to play softly on the stereo. through his buzz cut. Was that your attempt at a joke? I know it wasnt funny, he admitted. someone had to bring it up. for a while dont you think? at Joes that much. At this Lexie had to laugh, because it was something she suspected. anything? It was nice to hear him admit it. Have you found But come on, He laughed and nervously ran a hand I mean aside from And she thought to

Weve been tap dancing around it I mean, Lexie, I dont like eating

49 Yes and no. Brian was playing with his friends, and the

last anyone saw of him, was Brian waiting for his aunt to pick him up from the school playground. Thats all I really know and

I know I probably shouldnt be telling you, but I trust you wont leak it to the press. She liked the sardonic way he sometimes said things. Officer Greene-- Jake, Lexie. Jake. Lexie let her voice linger over the word. She ran her Call me, Jake.

tongue along the syllable, caressing each consonant, tasting each vowel. Something shifted between them in her saying it and

she felt it, and she hoped he moved from that armchair and joined her on the couch. Yet the image of the cross broke She thought of it

through her fantasy, and darkened the moment.

wrapped in her scarf, reminding her she had no time to enjoy anything, and shaming her that she thought she could. think it could be anyone here in town? He didnt answer right away but looked down into his glass at the last buttery drops of scotch that remained. say. I cant Do you

I know I have to consider that possibility and I will if I

have to, but I wont just yet cause I dont want to start feeling the need to walk around town with my gun drawn out. Lexie pondered this as she poured herself another healthy

50 dose of Scotch and tried not to look at his hands. She was

teetering on the edge, walking the line between slightly drunk and downright hammered. In truth they both were, but the scotch

warmed their bellies and made their conversation a little bit easier to take. They both were beginning to talk a little

slower, their tone just as empathic, but wrapped in alcohol soaked casualness. Lexie got up and stumbled over to the CD player. She still

hadnt figured out how to work the damned thing, ever since Miss Melley brought home the gift from her daughter. Lexie was too proud to tell her she had no idea what to do with it. So, she

punched buttons and became more frustrated as nothing happened. Then she felt the heat of Jake behind her, and he remained close as his arm reached over, and he smoothly opened the player. What do you want to listen to? he whispered. Duke Ellington. She felt flushed, shy, her voice came

out in a squeak and she was losing her equilibrium a bit. He said nothing and switched the CD, and Duke Ellingtons A Train was soon setting its mood throughout the room. She turned

to him, We should probably keep it down, because of Miss Melley. They looked at each other, both considering the other one, considering the amount of alcohol consumed, considering how long they had gone without simple human touch. They considered all

51 these things, near enough to feel each others heat. towards him slightly, waiting, ready. She leaned

Then he cleared his

throat and backed away, and his eyes were dark cobalt blue in the light. She turned down the volume on the CD player, and he sat back in the chair, and his lean long build sank down gracefully. She tore her eyes away, ashamed. Her need was terribly

inappropriate, but there it was and by Jakes sheepish expression she could tell he felt the same. Lexie settled down on the couch once more and let the awkwardness pass. If it is someone in town, Jake began, his tone all business. Ill have to deal with that, but something in my gut

tells me someone brought their depravity into town with them. Lexie said nothing, knowing he was right. The town was now

like a person who suddenly developed a tumor, and it needed to be cut out. She also knew something he didnt know, and again

the image of the cross flashed through her mind and teased her conscience. She wouldnt tell him, not about that. Her

feelings were beginning to change about him, but that was something Lexie knew she should keep to herself. I just dont know who else couldve slipped in, the only one visibly new in this town is you, Jake said.

52 She looked at him, startled, and for the first time she asked herself how much he really knew about her. Her mind

started its whisperings that she was trying to quell ever since she arrived in the little town. It would be easy for someone to

find out, you know, who you really are, what you really were before you called yourself Lexie Carpenter I was a suspect at one time? God, Lexie, please stop looking at me like that. Everyones a suspect at one time. I dont like it, but thats Besides, you found

the way I have to be if I want to do my job. the body, so its highly unlikely.

Brian, was killed a day Hell, I was there.

before and you were working at the diner. That wasnt my usual shift. that night. Yeah.

I was taking over for Nadine

And there you were eating your usual eggs and ham. There I was. He smiled. Whoever it is, or was,

came here long after you did. Well, hopefully theyre gone. Hopefully. You dont think they are, do you? No, Lexie, I dont. What time is it? She got up off the pillow with his assistance, him holding her by the elbow to stop her from toppling into his lap. was surprised by what the clock revealed to her. went to bed a little after nine-thirty. She

Miss Melley

Its past midnight.

53 Its going on one oclock. Im surprised too. Jake smiled at her and it was clear he wasnt talking about the time. In retrospect, Lexie realized at that moment is when Let me walk you out.

she gave into what would be inevitable.

They walked toward the door, and he turned to her his hands shoved into his pockets. Are you going to be okay getting home? She eyed the way he slightly swayed and his gaze was just a little out of focus, and he may have been worse off but she knew he was putting on a brave face for her. Ill be just fine. for a walk. I didnt drive. It was a nice night Besides Im a

Home is only a few blocks away. Protect and serve.

police officer.

He laughed, opened up his

jacket, and flashed his gun at her. Hey, right now, all I see is a drunk man with a gun. He laughed and she was glad he liked her joke, because she didnt make them often. He tried to compose himself, realizing He looked at her,

Miss Melley slept right above their heads.

his eyes darkening to that cobalt blue she saw when they stood so close before. His face had the same expression, a mixture of

curiosity and desire.

54 Then he did the strangest thing, he softly took one errant hair that crossed the plane of her forehead and tucked it lovingly behind her ear, making her gasp. Still hate being touched? Jake asked. She shook her head, and he smiled and let his hand remain on her cheek. Good. Goodnight, He said. Then he was gone, his fingers grazing her cheekbone as he exited. Goodnight, Jake, she called after him, and watched him walk off into the night. He walked up the block, weaving a bit,

and then he straightened himself out and turned the corner out of sight.

Lexie finished off the scotch and had a smoke, sitting in the swinging chair and listening to the night. The crickets

talked to each other and chirped in harmony, the breeze whistled past her ears, a motor of a car echoed from a far, and she listened to it all. Maybe it was the liquor, but she was lost

55 in old memories, and she thought of Sister Margaret and her letter that went unanswered. Lexie went to the mailbox every day, and on the days that Miss Melley got there first Lexie always asked if there was something for her. There never was. So, Lexie hid her

disappointment even from herself, and it was only now she allowed herself to wallow. Eventually, she got up off the swinging chair and went inside, but she didnt want to go to bed. Not yet. So, she

did something she hadnt done for as long as she remembered. She went down to Miss Melleys basement and sat on top of the washing machine. She shook a cigarette out of her pack of Pall

Malls, which were a bit crushed from hanging around in the back pocket of her jeans. Lexie smoked and thought. She used to hide down in her

basement when she was a little girl, whenever her parents would have one of their screaming matches. She would sneak out of the

confines of her small room and once there in the basement, she sat for hours, glad she was able to escape the noise of her own suburban hell. It felt like she lived hell on earth for so long, that if she experienced anything any different, she probably wouldnt know it. Lexie lit another Pall Mall and as she smelled the

56 sulfur from the struck match, Jennys voice came booming into her head. You know, you shouldnt smoke those things.

It wont hurt the baby, Lexie said to herself in her drunken state, her words falling over one another, and suddenly she was propelled back into her own memory. Lexie saw it all again, Dylan, David, McFlannigans, Sister Margaret, Jenny, and that Thanksgiving night where there was so much blood. She saw herself crawling up the church steps and

looking up at the stained glass picture of Jesus at The Last Supper, and silently pleading for forgiveness. She felt herself

on the edge, falling so far back into her past that she couldnt get out of it. She clamped her hand over her mouth, and tried

to hold back the scream she almost let out, as the song that Jenny always sang bounced off the walls of her mind. on the mountain, over the hills and everywhere. the mountain our Jesus Christ is born. Lexie never knew that song before she met Jenny, now she could probably sing it in her sleep. She sat and smoked on top Go tell it

Go tell it on

of the washer in Miss Melleys cold basement, and wondered what happened to Jenny. She wondered if Jenny still helped out

Sister Margaret, if she ever moved on with her life as surely everyone else did, but David. Finally, all the scotch Lexie drank hit her with a wallop and she longed for bed. She slowly slid off the washer and

57 snubbed out her cigarette on the wall, tossing the butt in the trashcan. She practically dragged herself up the stairs,

reeking of liquor, climbed into her bed fully clothed and passed out.

When Lexie woke up the next morning her head felt as it had been dipped in cement. The sunlight streaming full force into She groaned and buried herself

her room was a huge intrusion. deeper under her covers.

Last night felt like ages ago, and

thankfully because of all the alcohol she had a dreamless sleep. Lexie stayed there buried in her flannel cocoon until the scent of pancakes came drifting into the room to entice her out of bed. Miss Melley had made her famous strawberry pancakes, and

in spite of her hangover, Lexies stomach grumbled in appreciation. She stepped into the shower, and stood under the hot spray, leaning her forehead up against the cool tile. As water dripped

off her, her thoughts turned to Jake and his carpenters hands. She came dangerously close to doing a stupid thing. It wouldve

58 been so easy to just lay down with him. She was glad he left--

at least thats what she kept telling herself. She sauntered downstairs with wet hair and only her bathrobe and joined Miss Melley in the kitchen. whistling and doing her crossword puzzle. Miss Melley was

Two plates were set, pancakes, OJ,

and the food looked like manna from heaven: coffee, and a couple of aspirin.

Miss Melley looked up at her and smiled.

I heard the

shower going and thought you might want something to eat--that and some aspirin. Lexie nodded gratefully and sat down. She downed the two Thank you.

aspirin and finished her juice in two swallows.

They sat and ate for a while and Miss Melley refilled their cups of coffee. secret. What? Lexie asked between bites. So, you and Officer Greene, stayed up past your bedtime last night. Yeah. She looked down, embarrassed. Jake, and I talked for a while. Jake? Yeah, Jake. Miss Melley leaned toward her in a conspiratorial manner. She looked at Lexie like a woman who has a

59 You know Officer Greene doesnt talk to people. What do you mean? He does his job. Hes cordial, especially great with Miss Melley paused and

kids, thats when hes most himself.

cocked her head to the side, studying Lexie as if she were an animal in a zoo. Miss Melley looked perplexed and awed. But

he doesnt talk to people. He goes through the social pleasantries. Hes a good cop and a good man, but thats about Hes as much a mystery

all people in Palmetto know about him.

as you. I bet if I asked at least four people what was his favorite color, all four of them would get it wrong, but he talks to you. Its blue. His favorite color is blue. Lexie didnt

like what her friend was hinting at, because if it wasnt talked about it didnt exist. He talks to you. Yes. Miss Melley nodded slightly. But I think you know

the way he talks to you and the way he talks to me are different. Lexie had nothing to say to that, because when the truth was told there was never anything to dispute it. as definite as air or water, it just was. He is a good cop. Hes been working really hard to find The truth was

whoever killed that little boy, Lexie responded, because that was the truth too.

60 Miss Melleys tone became serious and she put her hand over Lexies own. Dont you ever tell him I told you this. But he

told me hes scared. Scared of what? He says its not over. Lexie tightened her grip on her coffee cup, her knuckles along with her face turning white, and her voice came out all high and cracked, not her usual mellow timbre. He said that?

Yes, he says he went back to the sight of theincident. He thinks there could be a piece of evidence missing. They found bits of metal embedded in the poor boys palms. I was trying to

get out of him what he thought it was exactly, but when he wants to remain tight lipped there is no getting anything out of him. Miss Melley laughed. Boy was he pissed off when he told me.

He couldnt find anything, and hes convinced theres something to be found. Lexie felt the first signs of nausea coming on and surely she was green. Are you okay, hon? Miss Melley asked. May IMay I have some water, please? Of course, sweetie. Whatever you want.

She wouldve gotten up herself, but she was so reeling with feeling she was incapable of getting out of her chair. Miss

61 Melley poured her a tall glass of water, and she drank and drank thinking she could never get enough. You look a little shaken. Im disturbed, not scared. her. I didnt mean to frighten you. Yes you are her mind reminded

I just dont want anything to happen to anyone else. He wouldnt let that happen. Hes a determined man.

Sometimes things are beyond our control. Lexie stood up and kissed Miss Melley on the cheek. She

pulled her Pall Malls out of the pocket of her bathrobe and went outside for a smoke, her anxieties trailing behind her.

62

Fear

If it was raining that day, do you think that little boy would have stayed inside and not gotten killed? Emilys question caught Lexie by surprise. They sat

quietly in front of the Citrons picture window, as sheets of rain came down from a charcoal sky. The rain pummeled

relentlessly against the glass adding an extra beat to the thunder. They played through Emilys entire board game Now there was nothing left

collection and watched three movies. to do but sit.

It was Saturday, and Lexie arrived Friday morning with a small overnight bag in tow after receiving a call from Mrs. Citron. Nancy and Daniel were going away for the weekend on a

second honeymoon, and Nancy had unexpectedly put Emily on the phone.

63 Hey, my mom and dad are going out of town, and they asked me who I want to baby sit, Emily said. I choose you.

Miss Melley would be going away on another clay pot run, and the empty house that forever smelled of jasmine would be a lonely place, and Emilys words were all it took. Lexie found

herself stuffing a sweater, and some jeans into her duffel bag. Emily had grown on her. She was getting use to the sweet girls

face, and found herself looking for her when she wasnt there. Emily came in as much as Jake, who turned up just when she stopped thinking about him.

Jake came that Friday evening as Lexie and Emily were settling down to a dinner left by Mrs. Citron. the knock at the door and looked at each other. They both heard Emily was the

one that got up and ran toward the front door, Lexie hurrying behind. She reached the door to see Jake standing there with

her knit cap.

64 You forgot this, he said to her that blustery evening, as he stood there in the twilight. other night. She took the cap from him, as Emily hid behind her, peeking out at Jake. Howd you know I was here? She said you were You left it at the diner the

I caught Miss Melley before she left. here.

Shes babysitting me, Jake, Emily volunteered and reached out to tug on the hem of Jakes overcoat. You know each other? at their faces. He knelt down and went nose to nose with Emily and they began an intense staring contest. Yeah, weve seen each other around. Jake and Daddy play on the same softball league. Emily kept her gaze locked on Jakes own and then stuck her tongue out at him. Jake laughed and stood up. good. For a beat, he and Lexie looked at each other and she thought about that night at Miss Melleys, the small window of time where they allowed themselves to let their guards down among scotch, jazz, and the cover of darkness. I give in, Emily. Youre too Lexie asked looking back and forth

65 Thanks, Jake, I appreciate it, she said for lack of nothing better. Well, its getting cold. He shrugged and then he waved goodbye to both of them.

Emily, of course, took every waking opportunity to tease her about Jakes visit, and she wouldve preferred more taunts as opposed to the question just put to her. Lexie, Emily asked again. Do you think he wouldve died? Maybe. You found him, right? Lexie turned her attention away from the window and looked at Emily, who stared soberly back at her with her unnerving adult eyes. Howd you know that?

My daddy was talking to my mom about it when he didnt know I was listening. Listening on the stairs again?

66 Lexie knew Emily would sneak out of her bed to eavesdrop on her parents whenever she had the chance. She thought,

rightfully so, the real talk didnt begin until after the sun went down. Now, Emily nodded in response to Lexies probing. And my daddy was saying he ran into Officer

I was up!

Charles, that nice policeman who picks his nose when he thinks no ones looking. They both laughed and Lexie knew Emily spoke of the babyfaced policeman, who asked her about her scars. He shyly

flirted with all the waitresses, and she had to admit shed taken an immense liking to him. Emily resumed her story. My daddy asked about that boy-- Brian Hay. Yeah. Brian Hay. Officer Charles told him the new girl He told my Dad to I could Once their laughter subsided

from the diner found him among the leaves.

keep it hush, hush, but he tells my mom everything. only guess who he was talking about. No, I guess not.

No surprise there.

A bluebird flew across their field of vision, beating its wings wildly against the storm. They both tracked its flight.

Emily squished her face up against the window and watched it

67 until she couldnt crane her neck any farther. down beside Lexie. What did he look like? morbid fascination. This is not something to joke about, Emily. I know that, but I want to know, Lexie. Please tell me. Emilys eyes gleamed with a She sat back

Ive never seen a real dead body before, only in the movies. Lexie paused and looked at the little girl who seemed so innocent in the ways of the world, and yet had taught her more than most. She didnt want to be the one to open her eyes to

the horrors that she would eventually find on her own. Was it gross? Emily pushed. Noit was sad, Emily. Did you cry? I threw up. Emily said no more. They sat allowing the sound of the A car turned Just sad.

raindrops to be the only dialogue between them.

the corner of their street, its make impossible to discern in the storm. door. All they could see was that it was beige and a four-

It slowly cruised up the street towards them and stopped The car sat with its

directly in front of the Citrons gate.

68 motor running. out. Who is that? Emily asked, moving closer to Lexie on the window seat. Lexie tried her best to peer into the passengers side window and couldnt tell if it was a man or woman behind the wheel. She saw a figure in black, but that was all. They just Lexie wondered who would be brave enough to be

sat with the lights on and the motor running.

Emily continued

with her onslaught of questions as Lexie felt her shoulders starting to rise. Are they going to get out? and Dad? Em, why dont you stay here? window seat and closed the curtains. back. Lexie went to the coat rack as Emily watched all the while, and she put on Mrs. Citrons yellow slicker. She opened the door, and the wind and rain immediately whipped her in the face and she squinted. walkway. She closed the door and stared down the long Lexie got up off the Dont move Ill be right Are they here to see my Mom

She realized it was ridiculous she left the house Yet, she was sure it was nothing. She hoped

without a weapon. it was nothing.

It was probably someone just lost.

69 Lexie began to walk, looking over her shoulder, to see Emily peering out the window and holding the curtain back with one tiny hand. Lexie made her way halfway down the walkway,

moving closer toward the Citrons front gate, when the car pulled away from the curb and drove off down the street. She

watched it disappear around the corner and stood in the rain wondering.

Sunday came and brought the sun along with it. if the storm never happened. clear cloudless sky.

It was as

The day was sunny and possessed a

They burst outside the confines of the

Citrons home and spent as long as they could in the sunlight. They ate at Joes Diner, walked the streets, and even walked through the woods. Lexie steered Emily away from the

spot where little Brian was found, and dealt with a fifteenminute silence from Emily because of it. Eventually, she bribed

Emily into some good cheer with ice cream in spite of the cold.

70 When they returned to the Citrons, they ate and had a good long nap. Neither one of them spoke about the beige car. Nancy and Daniel returned in the early evening. They

scooped Emily up into their arms, smothering her with kisses, and gave Lexie a pretty framed photo. Lexie left with close to

two hundred dollars in her pocket. It was much more than they agreed upon, and she was grateful for their generosity. She went home not eager to get back to an empty house, but she had no other place to go. Lexie stepped into Miss Melleys

dark living room and switched on a few lamps for some light. Lexie settled onto the couch and drifted off to sleep, as the room became colored with pinks and oranges from the setting sun. The ringing of the phone woke her up and by then the world outside was dark. the end table. Hello, Lexie murmured from underneath the coziness of her blanket. Hey, its Jake. Im coming back from dinner with the She reached a hand to get it from its spot on

chief and I was wondering if I could stop by. Oh She sat bolt upright. here. She went away. You know Miss Melleys not

Well, actually I wanted to talk to you.

71 About what? About Brian. Okay. They both hung up and she sat frozen on the couch and she could only think one thought. He knows.

You know why Im here dont you, Lexie? It was the first thing Jake said to her when she opened Miss Melleys front door. He stood looking handsome in dark

blue dress slacks and a sweater to match, smelling of Ivory soap and aftershave. Now, they stood in the living room, with their She didnt quite know how to answer

hands in their pockets. him.

Maybe I do, but I rather have you tell me, she finally said. Okay. He breathed out a heavy sigh and looked disappointed in her. I know who you are. I know your names

72 really Lexie Lynn Jackson and you were born in the Mid-West, you ran away from home when you were fifteen. New York where-- Stop, Jake. Stop. She heard enough, she didnt need anymore. It was obvious You somehow got to

he knew absolutely everything and she could barely look at him. She was so disgusted with herself and what he knew, that she hoped would never be found out by anyone. Yet, her ugly truth

was known and if anyone was going to tell it she would. There was a lot of amazement. What can I say, Jake, it was a slow news day. Lexie, come on Howd you find out? Research. Lots of research. Too much research. I heard press, Lexie. Jake looked at her in

so many sides of the story, and I guess Im here because I want to hear yours. Jake sat down on the couch and looked at her. She knew

there would be no getting rid of him as much as she wanted to. Tell me what you lived. So she did. Tell me, he said.

73

When I was fifteen I had one beating too many, so I left. I hitchhiked out of there with nothing but the clothes on my back and some cigarettes. Truckers picked me up, gave me a Eventually I got to New York All of

ride, and in exchange they had me.

and never left, and found kids to hang out with like me. us were on our own, and fucked up and denying it. My boyfriend, J.D. kind of led us all.

Our relationship

was pretty much sex, drugs, and me standing look-out while he broke into cars and stole a radio or anything that we could exchange for cash. We left him to die in the street one night. He overdosed

on too much heroin, and I still remember him convulsing on the sidewalk in the rain. Yet we all took off and ran.

Lexie paused for a moment, recalling a seventeen year-old boy who died alone, and lit a cigarette to steady herself. Its never a life I thought I would ever have, and I know Ill never have again, Lexie continued. It was all I knew and

74 the only way I knew how to live. Living that way ended one day

when I stumbled into an abandoned house and almost got raped by a homeless guy who claimed it. dry to come down from my high. barely escaped that house. glass and ran out of there. I ran until my lungs heaved in my chest and my legs turned to lead. I slumped to the ground and let myself cry for God When I looked up, I saw a beautiful church I took it as a sign and the next thing I knew, I just wanted a place warm and It was a rainy spring day and I

I stabbed him with a broken piece of

knows how long. across from me.

I was knocking on the door and thats how I met Sister Margaret. She gave me a place to sleep and took me to McFlannigans Home for Wayward Girls. private funding. eighteen. Sister contacted my parents and they didnt miss me much. My father took the long trip to New York only to leave a blue suitcase on the front doorstep. Anyway, I didnt talk to anyone McFlannigans was run by the church and

We were allowed to stay until we were

at first, but Sister Margaret and Jenny the cleaning lady---only because she was the only one who seemed worse off than me. She was this huge woman, as wide as she was tall. The

rest of the girls treated her like shit, and she just ran around skittish as a fucking mouse and humming to herself. She came

75 with us to churchwhen we were forced to go, and thats when I met David. The priest? Jake asked. the entire time. Yes. He counseled all of us once a week. Anyway, long It was the only thing he said

story short. me.

We fell in love, I got pregnant, and he abandoned

I had our baby, Dylan, and our home was in a neighborhood

with heroin needles on the sidewalk, and the radiator only worked some of the time. Jake, I was overwhelmed. Sister Margaret tried to help.

She bought over toys or food, or sometimes we would just sit together with Dylan in the crib between us. She never knew

about David, no one did, and then Thanksgiving came. Lexies voice cracked as her mind went back in time, and she forgot Jake was there. Sister Margaret and I decorated the apartment, and she spent most of the day with me. She left that night to prepare I saw David that We fought

dinner for the other girls at McFlannigans. night.

I didnt even think he knew where I lived.

and then we talked.

He said he was a coward and he wanted to

make up for that, as much as he could, for the rest of my life. He left and shortly after that Dylan woke up.

76 I was always scared to be happy, Jake. I use to think Sometimes I

its one of those things thats not meant for me. still do.

As much as I wanted to believe David, I think there I have had years to think

was part of me that just couldnt.

about this, days and nights in a prison cell. That night, Dylan started to wail, I just snapped. starting shaking him and pleading for him to shut up. that long, just a few minutes. Lexie couldnt stop her tears, and Jake tried to move toward her, but she put up her hand in a silent plea to let her continue. Finally he was quiet, Lexie said through her tears. just hugged him to me, angry at myself for losing control. I I I just

It wasnt

hugged him, kissed his sweet face, and took him to bed with me cause the radiator was broken again. Something made me wake up in the middle of the night, and I woke up to see Dylans skin was blue, and he wasnt breathing. I tried to get him to breatheI did everything I could, but it was too late. He was dead. He was only six months old, and I killed Lexie held out her arms,

him, and thats when I did this.

showing her scars, which were a constant reminder of what shed done. I dont remember much after that except what comes out

77 in my dreams. Sister Margaret found me bleeding on the church

steps, and the police told me that Dylan died of Shaken Baby Syndrome. They gave me a lawyer, but he couldnt help me cause I wanted to die.

I didnt want his help.

Well, the press somehow got a hold of it, and it became a circus. A seventeen year-old runaway, her lover was a priest, It was all they needed to say

and she killed their baby.

anything that they wanted to say. Between the trial and the newspapers, they dug up everything about me, squatters I lived with, J.D.s death, everything. I couldve sworn I would be executed, but instead I

got fifteen years to think about what Id done. David went mad, and went wandering the streets drunk out of his mind. The church checked him into an asylum, and after Dylan

three weeks there, he was found hanging from the rafters. is dead. David is dead, and Ive been alone ever since.

78 Jesus, Jake said. made her cry even more. Please, Jake, dont feel sorry for me. deserved it all. No, you didnt, Lexie, Jake insisted. deserve is a drink. could use one. Lexie nodded and wiped away her tears, and he went to Miss Melleys liquor cabinet. He poured them both heaping glasses of Jake gave her a But what you do I know I I deserved it. I He looked at her with such pity it

Do you want me to make you one?

scotch, and returned to the couch and sat down. glass. you. They sat there and drank in silence.

She drank it with trembling hands, and said, Thank

I have to admit, me digging up all that stuff on you. did it on a hunch--I mean I have a file folder in my office thick with articles, Jake said. I did it for two reasons.

One, well ever since the day we met I had a feeling you were hiding something. I also have to admit, I just wanted to know I just didnt think I Ive

you, there was just something about you.

would want to know you, as much as I did, as much as I do.

been letting you mess with my head, ever since that night we really talked. I knowIveIve felt something too.

79 He smiled and then his smile turned into a frown. I need you to level with me. Ive told you everything, Jake. No, you havent, not quite. Brians hands when you found him? Yes. Howd you know? Where is it? Did you take something out of Lexie,

A hunch.

Hold my drink. Lexie went upstairs to her room. She opened her drawer

and took out the cross she never let herself look at, ever since she found it. Its chain was broken in places like it was torn

off the persons throat. She shuddered and then went back downstairs, the cross in her hands. Here. She placed it on the coffee table. Jake looked at it, perplexed. Yes. Why on earth did you take it? help. I did. I do. Lexie unbuttoned her long-sleeved shirt This is why I took it. I thought you wanted to Its a cross.

and spread it open at the collar.

80 Jake stared at her cross, which glistened at the center of her collarbone, and then looked at the cross set before him. Theyre exactly the same. Turn it over. Jake did as he was told, and she watched him read the words that were etched onto the cross and into her memory. It says this is for our love, he said and looked at her with a quizzical expression. So does mine, Jake. had the other. But Davids dead. Is he? He looked at her and then his eyes widened. you took it? You think hes alive? Is that why Theyre a set. I had one and David

I dont know. I know its insane. Its the most insane thing youve told me all night! I know, Jake, I know, but you saw the inscription. else can you explain it? I cant, but theres got to be some explanation besides that one. I just dont know what it is. How

Well, Im sorry I took it.

81 Its okay. you. You dont have to do that. Yes, I do. They stared at each other and then he kissed her, and that was it. Its too late now, and IllIll cover for

His carpenters hands were in her hair, tugging gently, and his kisses devouring. Soon she was pulling off his sweater, and Clothes were discarded. They lay

he was unbuttoning her shirt.

naked on the couch, their pelvises meeting again and again. They rolled off the couch onto the floor, managing to stay joined together. Lexie bit her lower lip to keep from crying

out, as he scooped her even closer into his arms, and finally it all became one big blur. Hours later it was over.

They lay on the couch with a blanket thrown over them. Jake got up for a moment to light some candles. She watched him

walk around the room, naked and beautiful, lighting the few candles scattered about and humming Strangers in the Night. He

82 quickly returned to her, as she hoped, and laid back down pulling her to him and throwing the blanket over them both. Now, as they listened to each others breath, she couldnt help but smile even as thoughts of David kept running through her head. Jake let out a long low whistle and said, Wow. I know. She kissed his shoulder. What are you going to

do about the cross? What do you mean? Whats going to be your explanation for finding it? Well, thats easy enough. You were walking through the

woods and found it under a bunch of leaves and called me. Simple. Yeah, that is simple. Well, it would explain your fingerprints. Ill go out

there and plant it in the morning and call, Charlie. Lexie watched the candlelight flicker and bounce shadows off the walls, but she couldnt stay content. tell him how she felt. Jake? Yeah. She wanted to

83 I think I saw him. Who? David. Lexie Jake let out an impatient sigh, and rolled his eyes. There was a car. A car? He was clearly amused and it irritated her more than anything. serious. Okay, Lex. Okay. Just lay back down with me. Look, I was babysitting Emily She pulled away from him and got up. Jake, Im

I dont want to lay down. this weekend. right? Yeah, it was insane. head, and got comfortable. rat in a cage.

Yesterday, you remember it was pouring rain,

Jake stretched his arms behind his I was trapped in my house like a

Lexie lit a cigarette from her pack on one of the end tables and deeply inhaled. Exactly. So were we and we just

sat looking out that beautiful picture window they have, and a beige car turned up the street. By itself that was strange,

84 because no one was out. and then it took off. I admit Lexie thats weird, but it couldve been someone just lost and trying to get their bearings. Thats what I thought too, Jake, but it doesnt feel like that. She snubbed out her cigarette and began to get dressed. What are you doing? Jake asked as he reached for her. It was sitting there until I came out

Lexie kissed his hand, but avoided his grasp. Were going to the woods. We are? Yes. Get dressed.

Lexie, Im not going to look for a ghost. Neither am I. Jake looked at her, sizing her up, then he stood up and began to get dressed. He grabbed the cross and said, As long I can still call

as were out there, lets go plant this cross. Charlie to meet me out there in the morning. They were about to leave.

Lexies hand was on the front

doors doorknob, and Jake was putting on his coat when he stopped.

85 Wait. My gun, I left it in the living room.

Do you think well need it? We might.

A bright snowy moon illuminated the woods. turned a silvery-green from its light.

The leaves were

The sounds of things Jake parked his black

nocturnal stirring were all around them.

Ford Explorer along a deserted stretch of road, and they searched, both of them armed with flashlights and Jake had his 357 Magnum. After they planted the cross on the spot where little Brian was found, they searched with purpose. The leaves crunched

underfoot and the wind whipped past their ears. Lexie was tired and they had found nothing. She was

beginning to feel stupid she even brought Jake out there, and then she saw something through the trees. What is that? she asked.

86 Jake peered off into the distance and then took a step back. Oh, thats the old Ewing house. about twenty or twenty-five years. Nobodys lived there for

Usually we have to round up

some high school kids partying there, or have to stop the occasional pack of little kids, who are trying to explore. Whats the attraction? People say its haunted, Jake said and the way he said it made her turn her head and look at him. might believe it. Well, do you want to find out if its true? Not particularly, but Ill go anyway. They both laughed. I know it sounds ridiculous, but that house kind of spooks me a little, he said and shrugged. Well, well have to be spooked together. They walked through the trees, the view of the red-shingled roof coming closer into their sights. Finally, they came upon a The Ewing house was at He sounded as if he

clearing surrounded by a ring of trees. its center. reputation.

It was massive, its size as daunting as its

The house was four stories tall, with a huge front door and white columns in front of it. You could tell it was once

87 beautiful and now was beyond repair. The red roof looked to

have holes in places, and the navy paint was peeling off in big strips revealing rotting wood beneath. The windows, even from Some

their distance, were clearly streaked with dirt and dust. windows were broken with jagged edges and pinholes.

Under the

moonlight, the house almost looked alive, and the windows were the houses eyes. herself. Why do people say its haunted? she asked Jake, who looked as spooked as she felt. Well, I heard the Ewings, a mother and father and their two daughters, ages five and seven, all lived in that house. was built just for them, because the family wanted something private. They lived there for about a year when the girls They said the It Lexie had to admit she was a little spooked

claimed that something was coming in their room. door would open and something would come in.

Something? Lexie looked at the house, trying to sense the mysteries inside. Well, they never could describe it. felt something. They just said they

The rumor that hasnt died, is one night Mr. He burst

Ewing woke up to the sound of his daughters screaming. into their room to find them sitting in their beds, and

everything that wasnt nailed down was flying across the room.

88 Everything seemed to be caught in an invisible tornado. say thats why they moved. They moved just like that? Yep, Lex, lock, stock, and barrel. furniture and everything. the safety off. They left the People

Jake took out his gun and clicked He laughed. Of

Thats what they say.

course theres the other story that Mr. Ewing got another job in San Diego, and they all moved. Anyway the house pretty much has Lets go inside. He

been sitting and rotting for years now.

Jake led them toward the house, with his gun drawn. carefully opened the door. had turned green with time. all the corners.

Lexie noticed its brass doorknocker He waved his flashlight and checked

The first level was empty so they crept in. Their

The door shut sealing them in with the dust and the dark. flashlights and the moonlight gave the only glow. what was once the living room.

They were in

The floor was littered with a

few empty beer cans and things scurrying that Lexie wasnt in a hurry to identify. She shivered.

Are you alright? Jake whispered. Yeah, yeah I am. Lexie looked around as her eyes adjusted to the dark. There was an armchair with the stuffing burst from its seams, which stood by a now defunct fireplace. Long unused fireplace

89 pokers leaned up against the wall beside it. A couple of coffee She

tables stood like mahogany islands among the sea of filth.

saw two sets of stairs, the front stairwell and a set further back, next to what looked like the beginning of the kitchen. Im going to check upstairs. Im not staying here. Stay here, Jake commanded.

I want to be of some use. Jake bent down and picked up a

You will be of some use.

block of dry wood, a part of one of the beams of the floor that was coming up. He thrust it into her free hand. I need you to

guard the front door. you never know.

I dont think anyone shifty is about, but

Lexie stood holding the plank of wood and watched him go upstairs. She felt like a scolded child, who was told to stand Yet, she knew he was right. Someone

in the corner and behave. should stay downstairs.

She didnt know how long he was gone,

but there were random footsteps that made it sound as if he was everywhere at once. At last, he came down brushing dust off his

shoulders and out of his hair. His gun was in his holster. Theres nothing here, Jake said. Dammit! She threw down the block of wood and the sound was a boom as dust flew up around her feet.

90 Its okay, Lex. We did the best we can. It was the right

instinct to want to check around. find anything.

Im almost glad we didnt

I dont know if that story is true or not, but Every time I Besides,

this house always leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

come in here, its like Im walking into my own death. I dont need to see any flying objects right now. Lexie laughed a little.

He was good that way, making her She extended her hand and

smile when she thought she couldnt. said, Lets get me out of here.

Jake took her hand and they walked out of the house, and across the clearing. When they reached the edge she stopped and looked back and something moving in the fourth story windows made her pause. Yet, Jake said there was nothing there. So

there was nothing there. What is it? He asked. Nothing, Jake. Nothing.

They continued their journey, and headed back toward Miss Melleys, a warm bed, and sleep.

91

Strike Two

During November, Eddie Dwyer lay in the brush three days before he was discovered. since. There had been steady rain ever

The last time anyone saw him, was at a birthday party A missing bulletin was put out and Everyone knew, Eddie and most of

for one of his classmates. search parties were formed.

the children of Palmetto loved the woods, for all of the secrets it seemed to hold within the shadows of its dense forest. As heartwarming as it was to witness a town come together, the towns efforts were a bit too good. thirty-six hours later, Eddie was found. A brief but agonizing He was wearing his

little blue overalls, his windpipe crushed, and his eyes were bugging out of his head with their lenses devoid of life. underbrush framed his body. The

92 His mother was in the group that found him, and her scream can still be heard making its way through the trees, if someone was listening closely enough. Eddie was only six years old.

Lexie learned about Eddie and everything else leading up to it from Jake, who tirelessly helped out with the search. When

he wasnt searching for Eddie he was over at Miss Melleys eating dinner with the two of them. He claimed he came over

strictly for Miss Melleys cooking, but both she and Jake knew better. Lexie had a feeling Miss Melley knew better too.

Neither one of them spoke about how their relationship changed that night they went to the Ewing house. Hed just been staying

over, managing to sneak out before Miss Melley woke up, and before Lexie had to go to work. He would leave her just as the

sun was coming up, whispering in her ear how he hoped to tell her more about everything that was going on, and telling her he would return as soon as he could. She would kiss him and try to pull him back into bed. Sometimes he stayed a little longer and they made love again. Most of the time he left. Either way she never wanted him to

leave, and she was surprised how much she craved him. On the nights he didnt stay, Lexie and Miss Melley talked on the porch and she wondered about Jake along with everything

93 else. Lexies frustrations were her own and there was little Now the whole town was in mourning.

she could do about it.

On nights when she had no one for company, the houses only comfort was the jasmine. drink scotch and cry. Lexie would smoke on the porch and

Sometimes when she drank too much she

talked to David, her voice a whisper and her dialogue constant. She talked to him about Dylan, about death, and most often about the cross and what it meant to her then and now. Lexie was

glad nobody saw her reveling in temporary madness, and what scared her was it was becoming more comfortable. Lexie saw things were changing. Less people were on the It was

streets, even Joes was closing up a little bit earlier. all leading to something she just didnt know what.

So she stood and smoked her Pall Mall in the back alley behind Joes and just wished she could do something about it. Another little boy was dead and it weighed on her conscience, and she couldnt help but think of the inscription, this is for our love. She looked up at the storm clouds that darkened the sky and knew it was time to go. forward to. At least she had Miss Melley to look

Miss Melley had been in California visiting her Earlier, Miss Melley called Joes, and a

pregnant daughter.

cranky Joe handed her the phone mumbling how it was her

94 sidekick. Miss Melley told her shed be home that afternoon and The call was the best part of her day.

they could have lunch.

Lexie yelled a goodbye to Joe, and the rest of the girls, from the back door and left. childs Halloween mask. She walked and came across a Witches The tale

It was the face of a witch.

always reminded her of the tale of Hansel and Gretel.

of the witch who cooked small children came back to her as she stopped to stare at the masks green face. The thought of being

roasted alive terrified her and she thought about her dream so long ago, and the image of her in flames. She heard a car honk, and Lexie turned to see Miss Melley barreling towards her in her blue truck. Hey, sweetheart what are you doing over there? Joe told

me I just missed you, Miss Melley said as she cruised up beside her. Miss Melley looked like she brought California back with her. Her face was a nice brown, her hair lightened by the sun

and partially covered with a canvas hat, and a poukka necklace was around her neck. She opened the door for Lexie to get in.

Lexie jumped in, they hugged briefly, and were on their way. The truck stuttered in its momentum, like a galloping horse trying to hit its stride, and then picked up to a nice even pace. Miss Melley always drove a bit too fast and Lexie took

95 out a cigarette to steady herself. Please dont smoke in the car. She saw Miss Melleys stern look and put the Pall Mall in her lap. Miss Melley, Im just a little on edge. Your smoking is getting worse even for you. something youre not telling me? It was a hell of a question and Lexie shrugged and hoped it would be enough. You know you shouldnt dwell on that boy. Boys, Lexie corrected her. Yes. Boys. Youre driving yourself crazy. Its just the way it is. Bad things Its Is there

happen to good people.

horrible, but its true. A small drop of rain hit the windshield, and Lexie still didnt say a word. Oh, its going to start to pour soon. We may have to

drive a little slower, Miss Melley said and glanced up at the sky. Its been the strangest weather. I know. Lexie stuck her hand out the window, palm up,

trying to test to see if more droplets of rain would come. Slowly drops began to come down and form a small puddle in her hand. Can we take the scenic route past the woods?

96 Whatever you want. Miss Melley went right on Alvarez Street instead of the usual left, which was the way back to their home and soon they were driving past the fringes of the woods. The rain was now

full force and they were forced to slow down. Miss Melley, have you ever heard of the Ewing house? Oh, of course I have. years. God, I havent thought of them in

I brought them over a pie when they first moved in. There use to be a clear dirt

They were a beautiful family.

trail leading right up to their house, now Im sure its overgrown by trees. Do you think the rumors are true? Well, Im not really one to believe in things that bump in the night my dear, but anythings possible. I do believe no one

should go in that house alone though; there is something creepy about it. Why do you ask? I thought maybe it was a

Oh, Jake, told me about it. joke.

Not to the Ewings it wasnt. Two other cars drove by going in the opposite direction, their windshield wipers wildly waving from side to side. The

first car was a Jeep, and the other car--Lexie almost couldnt

97 believe it--was the beige car. Lexies head swiveled on her

neck to follow the sight and without thinking she grabbed the steering wheel, her hands covering Miss Melleys own. Lexie

made the truck do a U-turn, the tires skidding on the black asphalt. Jesus, Lexie, what are you doing? Miss Melley clutched

her seatbelt and stared at her in total shock. Im sorry, Miss Melley! The rain was so heavy that Lexie could barely make out the taillights in front of her, and Miss Melley screaming at the top of her lungs didnt help. Miss Melley cussed until she was blue

in the face, and part of Lexie was amused, she didnt think Miss Melley had it in her. of the car. The rain sounded like a drum on the roof

It was hard to maneuver the road, the truck swerved

and Lexie was forced to straighten it out several times. Lexie kicked Miss Melleys foot off the accelerator and replaced it with her own. She and Miss Melley fought for the

wheel as the beige car sped ahead, its driver aware they were being followed. The truck was bearing down on the car and Lexie

felt her heart leap into her throat as she almost got a glimpse of the driver. to a dead halt. There was a loud pop and the truck came slamming They both rocked in their seats.

98 Dammit! Lexie beat her fists against the dashboard as

Miss Melley sat panting beside her, then to her surprise Miss Melley reached out and slapped her hard across the face. What in the hell is wrong with you!?! There was silence for a moment as a red handprint bloomed on Lexies cheek and her eyes rolled back into her head. small woman, there was power behind Miss Melleys arm. Im sorry, Miss Melley. You keep saying that. I cant. Thats not good enough! I know. I know. You almost got us killed! Explain yourself. For a

Just something about that car

lookedsuspicious.

It was all Lexie could say and she knew it.

She also knew what she did was as insane as Miss Melley said. I wasnt thinking, Miss Melley. Clearly. Now you have got to stop driving yourself crazy There is nothing you can do about

and me right along with you. those two boys.

Nothing. Okay?

Lexie nodded feeling a variety of things, shame, embarrassment, and anger for putting them both in danger.

99 Miss Melley stuck her head out the drivers side window. Just what I thought! me. They struggled with getting the spare tire out of the trunk as the rain pounded down around them, and as Lexie jacked up the car with all her might, Miss Melley put on the spare tire. drove home in silence. They We have a flat. Now get out and help

The two of them sat in the swinging chair looking up at the stars. The storm had ceased and took the tension between Miss It was a clear beautiful night

Melley and Lexie along with it.

sky with hundreds of stars for the eye to choose from. When they reached home, Miss Melley, turned to her as she struggled with the key in the lock and said, Lexie, over these past months, Ive taken quite a liking to you, but if you try any crazy shit like that again honey, I will kick you out. you understand? Yes, Miss Melley, I understand. Do

100 Now they sat content and well-fed, cups of jasmine tea in their hands. The smell of the brew intermingled with the

growing jasmine in the garden, which thrived due to the recent storms. Their feet were up and their heads tipped back toward They were happy with nothing but the chirp of

the endless sky.

the occasional bird or cricket, and then they saw Jakes Explorer coming up the street. Jake pulled up and hopped out. He greeted them both with a Good evening,

tip of his New York Knicks baseball cap. ladies.

Hey, Jake, darling you just missed dinner, Miss Melley said. Actually, Miss Melley, Im here to take Lexie for a little spin. If you dont mind me taking her away from you.

Sure just have her home by curfew. Lexie, can you come with me please? Jake asked. Yeah. Jake opened the door for Lexie and she hopped in. around and got in and they drove off. He came

They drove for a while

with the radio on and Jake didnt say a word. Jake, whats up? The chief wants to see you.

101 Why? He knows who you are. Jake took one hand off the Honey, your hands are

steering wheel and squeezed her hand. shaking.

Lexie looked down and saw her hands were trembling, she hadnt noticed. Jake released her hand and she instantly When did he

clasped her hands together to quell their tremors. find out? Last night. What happened? This is what Jake told her.

He moved to the town to maybe investigate a few break-ins, stop the occasional bar fight. The discoveries of the boys,

with their faces and hands so white and cold, were like a slap in the face. Jake was obsessed. He still had a black smudge of

mascara on the collar of his police uniform from Brian Hays

102 aunt, Aida. Rivulets of mascara streamed down her cheeks as she She leaned against Jake,

cried at the sight of her nephew. clinging to him for dear life.

Aidas single cry of why echoed

in his head, like a record set to skip continuously back to the first lyric of a song. When he wasnt with Lexie he spent many sleepless nights sitting in Palmettos small police station. His Explorer would

be parked out front and his dog Buck asleep at his side, with his blue water dish kicked over by one of his hind legs. It

would be Jake and the night deputy on duty. Jake only left his office for coffee or to go to the mens room. He would pore over his notes and his files on Lexie. He

couldnt associate the pictures of the doe-eyed girl with the woman, whose red cowboy boots and endless chain smoking were fascinating to him. inscription. Then there was the cross with its ominous

It sat in evidence and spoke to Jake like the

Tell Tale Heart, forcing him to pay attention to what everyone else wanted to forget. He knew Lexie hadnt forgotten. She

moaned sometimes in her sleep and whispered Brians name, a fact that surprised him. He never shouldve taken her to the Ewing house, but she was hard to refuse. Jake knew partly he went to put his own What he didnt tell Lexie, was that he

fears to rest as well.

103 did hear something, as he toured the dusty interiors of the morbid museum of a family long gone. Jake followed the noise He was led to

like Hansel and Gretel followed the breadcrumbs.

nothing but a case of the jitters complete with goose-pimpled skin. He went downstairs with a lie to tell already in his head

and on the tip of his tongue. Lucky for Jake, he was a good liar, which is why he alone knew of his nights poring over notes of his own design. He felt

like a teenager, who was sneaking out of the house, and always on the verge of getting caught. He would read until his vision

became blurry and he digested as much coffee as he could stand. More often than not the sun would be rising. Jake would

lock up his office, say good evening to the night deputy, or more appropriately good morning. He would get back into his

car, Buck scrambling into the backseat, and go home and sleep for a few hours before he officially came back into work later that day. On and on it would go, a merry-go-round of sleepless

nights and ink-stained fingers and nothing new to enlighten him. The only time he slept through the night was with Lexie. Also he was slipping at work, nodding off in meetings with the chief and the other deputies, leaving his cup of coffee in random places like the top of a file cabinet. to notice. It was hard not

104 The chief was suspicious and following his instincts was what led the man to become, a well-respected police chief in a nice Southern town. So as Jake pulled up to the station dressed

in blue jeans and his well-worn Knicks cap, he expected another night of solitude. He and Buck climbed out of his Explorer. tail excited to be out anywhere. car parked behind the station. Jake left his house in the wee hours of the night. Perhaps Buck wagged his

Jake didnt see the Chiefs

he shouldve stayed home, but he found himself in his car playing the same old game with himself. He walked into the

station and said good evening to the night deputy. Jake let himself into his office, his keys making a jangling noise as they turned in the lock. The scent of a cigar

hit him as he opened the door, and Jake put his hand on his gun. Before Jake could stop him, Buck burst in, barking furiously. Buck, no! Jake yelled.

Buck ran over to Jakes desk, and thats when the scent of cigar made something register in Jakes brain. It was the scent

of the Cuban cigar, Romeo y Julieta, the brand the chief smoked. Jake suspected the chief got them from his golfing buddy, a Senator of Texas, who Jake glimpsed only once when he picked the chief up one day.

105 Chief Henry Brune was a tall stocky man in his fifties and his bulk looked even more intimidating in the dark. His eyes

adjusted and he saw the chief sitting in his chair with his feet propped up on the desk, the cigar hanging out of the corner of his mouth. No one was allowed to smoke in the station, but Jake

knew that was an inconsequential point to pursue and only a jackass would. Hey, Buck, how you doin boy? the chief said, as he pet Bucks glossy coat. Then, he turned on Jakes small desk lamp and its tiny circle of light gave the elements of the room some clarity. Hello, Jake.

Hello, Chief. Did you forget something? Jake and the chief had known each other for close to five years and he was one of the few people Jake let in, who knew Jake was at heart a scrappy guy from Jersey who wanted to save the world, but had gotten close to burnt out on the world he was trying to save. The chief knew Palmetto had become Jakes

salvation and that he loved Palmetto, almost as much as the chief himself, who was born and raised there. would be futile. Jake knew lying

106 No, Jake said. I came for something actually. He He and

stepped into his office and closed the door behind him. the chief were about to have a little talk.

How long have you been coming here off duty, Jake? About two months now. Why? Because of Brian Hay, and now also because of Eddie. Were all trying our best here, Jake. killing yourself? So why are you

It would be nice if you tell me the truth.

That is the truth. That may be, but not all of it. No not all of it. He revealed the truth the way a snake I think I have a new angle

sheds its skin, without hesitation. on it.

Its about the new girl isnt it? Jake knew his face divulged his answer. enough. I know who she is already, Jake. Her case was monumental. I never forget a face. His shock was

I just started as police chief here.

Its been fifteen years, but shes hardly changed only the spotlight on her has. He smirked. What? You think youre the

107 only one who knows whats going on here? minute I walked into Joes. I recognized her the

Shes a nice girl, quite beautiful.

Even in those God-awful boots she wears. I know she wears them all the time. Jake smiled and the next thing he knew he shouldnt have said. Its kind of cute isnt it? The chief looked at him, looked through him, seeing what Jake didnt want to admit to himself. Im more than willing to

let her move on, but not if shes tied up in what happened with those boys. Is she, Jake? You tell me. I just have some files.

I dont really know.

Jake walked over to his desk and opened the bottom drawer and pulled out his files on Lexie. between them. The chief began to flip through them as he puffed away on his cigar. This is quite a lot of material here, Jake. You He placed them on the desk

ever plan on telling me about it? No, Jake thought. Has she gotten in your head, Jake? Yes.

108 Has she gotten in your bed, Jake? The chief exhaled a

long stream of cigar smoke and it rose to circle around Jakes head. In your head, in your bed, Jake thought until his thoughts jumbled together like a kind of nursery rhyme. silence was an admission of guilt. I see, the chief said and shook his head. Itit didnt start off that way. It never does, Jake. Honestly, its not what you think. It never is, Jake. Tell me what you think, that is what He knew his

is left of your brain that isnt in your pants. Jake clenched his jaw as his anger bubbled to the surface. Im pissing you off? Good. You should be. At yourself.

You shouldve been honest with me. you know it. Im your friend.

Im not just your boss and

I know, Chief, and Im yours. other chair and sat in it.

Jake dragged over the only

Buck wandered over and he Ive been fucked up from

absentmindedly pat him as he spoke.

the beginning, but its the cross that really got me going. Its identical to the one she wears around her neck. She wears a cross? I havent seen it.

109 She tucks it away under her shirt or beneath the collar of her uniform. Jakes voice trailed off as he realized he was revealing the nature of his and Lexies relationship even further. She didnt do it, you know.

Im aware she was working at the time of Brians death. Although, Eddies death is still up in the air, and this new revelation known only by you at this point, means I have to question her nonetheless. I think you already know that. The

chief crossed his arms bracing himself for Jakes protests. Theres no other way is there? Well Ill play nice, Jake, but barely. Either she comes Its her

in voluntarily, or I have one of our boys pick her up. choice. Can I be the one to talk to her? To tell her?

Jake

tried to keep his tone casual, but he knew his pleading eyes betrayed him. Okay, Jake. Ill grant you that. The chief looked at Do

Jake so closely that it made Jake squirm a bit in his seat. you love her, Jake?

He felt his cheeks turning bright red and he answered the chief with the only answer he knew. I could.

110 I trust I wont be having anymore conversations with you at three a.m. No, Chief, you wont. Buck and I are going to get out of

here now, if thats alright with youare we done here? Yeah, Jake, we are. Jake stood up and walked towards the door, Buck obediently at his side. He stood with his hand on the doorknob and his Im sorry, Henry, he

back to Chief Brune, unable to face him. said. I know you are, Jake.

I know you are.

Go home, Jake.

Get some sleep, and I trust youll take care of things.

So thats it, huh? over.

Lexie asked once Jakes story was

Either I come in or they send a lynch mob to find me? They sat in his Explorer, parked right He

Jake nodded.

outside of his house, as Buck watched them from the window.

held her hand, which hadnt stopped shaking and with her other

111 hand she smoked a cigarette, blowing smoke out of the passenger side window. Did he ask you anything about the cross? back? No, but Im sure hes figured it out. chief letting me off easy. Last night was the How you got it

Im lucky I still have my job.

Jesus, Jake, if that was easy whats hard? What youre probably going to go through. He didnt

bother to sugarcoat it, she was a big girl, and she needed to know what she was walking into. You dont care about what I did, do you? I dont care about what anyone did, just what theyre doing. Im scared, Jake. This isnt going to end well is it?

I want to think it is but, Lexie, I really dont knowyou know youll have at least one friend through this. at her and smiled. She smiled back or tried to. Thank you. You have been a good friend. Im He looked

You didnt have to cover for me and you did.

still sorry I took the cross, I just think--

112 I know what you think. called me earlier tonight. chase. Jake interrupted. Miss Melley

She told me about your wild goose

What were you thinking? Jake, I know you think Im She collected her thoughts Okay what I

Lexie pulled her hand away. losing it, and frankly so do I.

wanting to explain herself in just the right way.

did today was crazy, its true, but there is something happening here. it? More and more people have their guard up. Dont you feel

Theres this unspoken curfew going around, even Joes is The whole town is securing itself. You must notice. It bothers me too, but itll Even as he spoke, People

closing up early.

just dont feel safe.

Of course Ive noticed. pass.

Especially when we catch this guy.

Jake didnt believe his own words, but someone had to remain in control. So he designated himself. He knew he wasnt the best

candidate. for a walk.

Listen, Ive got a crazy dog in there thats dying Why dont you walk with us?

Okay. They got out of the car, much to Bucks delight, and he started barking up a storm. Jake tried to shush Buck as he

opened the door, but Buck instantly moved from his position at the window and jumped on his master. Buck jumped down, looked

113 at Lexie, and then jumped on her and knocked her over. licking her face. Buck, come on! Jake scolded, laughing nonetheless. Sorry, Lex. He He began

pulled Buck off her and helped her up.

Hes not

use to seeing an actual female around here. Its okay. their feet. them both. She leaned down to pet Buck who scampered at

She looked up at Jake, who stared down smiling at He reached down and put a hand on her cheek.

Whats up? he asked. I dont want to go home. Then dont. Stay with me and Buck. I should call Miss Melley

Lexie stood up and they kissed. and let her know. Shell figure it out, Lex.

She probably already has.

She nodded in agreement and they disentangled Bucks leash from around her legs and walked out of Jakes house hand in hand. They didnt see the beige car parked a block away, and

its driver watching, waiting, and biding their time.

114

Unraveling

You know who I am, Lexie said, a part of her glad this was one person she didnt have to pretend for. Yes, I do, the Chief said and that is how it began between them. That morning Lexie woke up feeling warm and safe, curled up in Jakes bed as he slept at her side. Buck slept at their

feet, and Lexies muscles were wonderfully sore from their night together. As they drifted off to sleep, spent in all ways, he

whispered, What I told the chief last night, about how I could love you, I lied. love you, Lexie. She asked him to repeat himself and he said it again. She Its not that I could. Its that I do. I

said it in return, scared, because she realized she meant it. Her affection seemed to sneak up on her without notice. So that morning all sweet nothings were forgotten and reality set in. Lexie got dressed in the morning rays of

115 sunrise as Jake awoke from his slumber, and propped himself up on one elbow to watch her. In the light he looked to Lexie like

some Greek God who fell to earth, the sun turning his hair the color of wheat, and casting shadows across the lovely bones of his face. She kissed him and left with the scent of him

lingering on her skin and his Knicks sweatshirt on her back. Lexie lit a cigarette as she made her first few steps out into the day. crisp. The tree branches were bare and the air was

Her only company was the rhythmic tap of the heels of Soon enough she reached the

her boots striking the asphalt. police station.

After not so subtle scrutiny by Officer Charles, she met with Chief Brune in his cozy office. Pictures of his wife, At the center

children, and grandchildren were scattered about.

of it all was the steely chief, sitting behind his desk in his police uniform. His collar was undone, and he rolled an un-lit

cigar between his thumb and forefinger and looked at it with longing. When Lexie first saw him she had to agree with Jake, he did kind of scare the shit out of you. Joes. Sure she saw him plenty at

Yet, then he was in his street clothes and usually on

the arm of his wife, or being dragged in by one of his cherubic grandchildren. Those brief times Lexie encountered him he

116 seemed to be merely a handsome older man mellowed by time and experience, and enjoying his life. The presence he was capable

of was still there, but out of his usual element his glow was diminished. Now Chief Brune stood up taller in his uniform and

his manner was more cavalier. He peered at Lexie as if she was a bug under glass and she stared back. They both seemed to be waiting for the other to speak first so she did. They studied each other, trying to see

what each other were about. Youre Lexie Lynn Jackson, but you go by Lexie Carpenter, which one do you prefer? Lexie. Just plain, Lexie, is fine. I have a lot of questions for you and

Okay, Lexie.

hopefully you can help me out. Am I under arrest? No, this is just a friendly conversation. Is that why you said either I come in on my own or else youll pick me up? here? I see what he sees in you. Who? Jake. Is that what you call being friendly around

117 Is that why Im here? hes fucking. Youve got quite a mouth on you. So Ive been told. Lexie fumbled in her pocket for her She took a cigarette You wanted to see for yourself who

Pall Malls, and took one out of its pack. out and stuck it in her mouth. Lexie.

Do you have a light?

The chief pointed toward the no smoking sign.

Were not allowed to smoke in here. Well Ill make you a deal, she said with her Pall Mall still firmly planted between her lips. If you let me smoke

this I wont tell any of your deputies you were smoking that cigar in here. Agreed. The chiefs eyes sparkled with youthful glee and

for an instant Lexie glimpsed what he mustve looked like about thirty years ago. He whipped out his silver Zippo and stood up He lit his own

to lean over his desk to light her cigarette.

cigar and opened the window to let some fresh air in. Thank you. Lexie inhaled with relish. What can you tell me about that

So enough small talk.

cross we have sitting in evidence? I have one just like it thats what I can tell you. It was a gift given to me by a dead man who I think isnt dead.

118 What? The chief looked at her with the same look Jake gave her the night she confessed to him that she thought David wasnt dead, but walked and talked as much as she did. crazy just like Jake does. I wouldnt say crazy, but I wouldnt say sane either. read your files, and it took me a while. stuff written about you. I remember. Which articles did you read? The Chicago Tribune? The New York I You think Im

Theres quite a lot of

Times? The L.A. Times?

What?

I read all of that and more.

And I read this man you

speak of is quite dead, and that he hung himself because of you. The Chiefs words cut to the core of Lexie, it was as if he reached inside her chest and tore her heart out. mouth twitch and tears come to her eyes. Lexie felt her

She looked away from Yes, he did

him and smoked, and tried to gain some control. hang himself.

Yes, it was probably because of me, but that

cross is his and he never took it off, just like I never take mine off. So if hes dead I ask you, Chief Brune, what in the

hell is that cross doing here? The chief frowned and this time he was the one to look away.

119 You cant tell me, can you? crazy one. I know when it comes to thatwell obviously I dont have an answer for you. keep a cool head. telling you. Do you think we really have the time to do that? are dead. I know and I was the one, along with Jake, who had to face their loved ones not you. Im quite aware of those boys. They Two boys But I think its necessary--mandatory--to Thats what I tell my men and thats what Im No one can and yet Im the

couldve been my grandchildren. heartbreaking.

When a child dies, its always

You should know that more than anyone else.

What happened to my son was an accident. I never said it wasntbut you did have a sonand now hes dead. Now youre here, and two boys are dead.

What are you saying? Im saying I dont like this bit of bad luck that has come to our town, and it seems to have come when you did. I dont

know if youre involved or if youre not, but I suggest you keep out of this investigation and dont trouble my men with your insinuations. Trouble your men or trouble, Jake? Which is it?

120 Both really. this. Jake is driving himself insane with all

My boy, Jake, has a tendency to take things personally. Ive

Hes always tried to rescue the bird with the broken wing.

always known that about him and that is his strength and his weakness. I dont want him getting weak about anything else

including you. Youre pretty fucking bold telling me all this. Lexie

popped a second cigarette in her mouth and he dutifully lit it, even as she looked at him with fury in her eyes. you think Im not going to tell Jake all this? You probably will and honestly, Lexie, I could care less. I have a job to do and so does he, and I dont want you getting in the way of that. you? I dont want that boy ending up dead. Do What makes

The chiefs last words to her still rang in Lexies ears days later, as she finished the last of her duties at Joes. She worked the breakfast shift and lunch and now her feet

121 throbbed to their own beat. Lexie just wanted to drag herself

back to Miss Melleys and curl up. Ever since her meeting with the Chief, shed been avoiding Jake like the plague, scared for him and for her. over she would say she was sick. If he was

If he called she would ask

Miss Melley to say she wasnt there, or sleeping, or anything that would get her out of picking up the phone. Miss Melley

attempted to ask her what was going on, and Lexie just said things have changed. push. She just couldnt help but think maybe the Chief was right, and her loving Jake would only lead him to misery. Yet, she Thankfully Miss Melley wasnt the type to

shouldve learned you couldnt avoid anything, and as Lexie walked out of Joes she saw Jake coming up the block. He was out of uniform, walking with his typical roguish gait. His favorite Knicks cap on his head, and her heart kind It was typical her mind was a master at

of skipped a beat.

helping her delude herself, but her heart would never let her get away with a thing. Shit, she thought.

He raised his hand in greeting and she waved back. You still have my sweatshirt, Jake said once he reached her and then he smiled. Hey.

122 Whats going on with you? What do you mean? Either youre sick or asleep lately. to me. Talk to me. The chief just gave me some good advice. What? To stay away from me? He told me what he said. I Its obviously due

just didnt think youd listen to it. JakeI dont want anything happening to you, and I think all this shit is just the beginning. To David? You do? Yes. Drunk and alone, I talk. It scares me, and what You know I talk to him?

scares me even more is I think hes out there listening. Honey-- No, its okay. I dont want any comfort. Not now. Maybe

Im wrong, but Im not wrong about all this definitely having something to do with me. No, youre not. She couldnt believe he agreed, and it made her take a step closer and put her arm around his waist. been straight with you. Im sorry I havent

123 Good. sorry. It didnt feel good, Lexie, but Im glad youre Lets keep it

The two of us are separate from this.

that way. Okay, Jake. Im going to fix this. No. We are. The Chiefs right about that. I always have.

I dont want you involved.

I can take care of myself, Jake. Yeah?

Well now you have someone here who wants to take

care of you. She kissed him then and said, Lets take me home.

The first thing they saw, as they got out of Jakes Explorer, was the broken glass. Then they saw the police

cruiser parked a house away, and Miss Melley talking to one of Palmettos deputies on the porch.

124 Lexie bounded up the stairs with Jake right behind her. What the hell happened here? she asked. There was broken glass all over and it covered the porch, and the window by the front door had a panel missing. Miss

Melley handed Lexie a rock with the words Baby Killer painted on it. Lexie felt all the color drain out of her face. Thats what happened, Miss Melley said. you feel as disgusted as I do. be about?!? Now, Miss Melley, the deputy intervened. calm yourself. What happened here, Officer Braxton? Jake asked. Well, Jake. Officer Braxton began to read from his notepad. Miss Melley says she was cooking dinner, when she She was walking towards the Youve gotta You look like

What the hell is that suppose to

heard a car pull up from outside.

front door, when she saw the rock hurled through the window. She ran outside to see who it was, but all she saw were the tail lights of a blue pick up truck swerve around the corner. pointed toward the end of the street. No sighting of a license plate? Jake asked. No, she says the truck was going too fast. He

125 Could she recall approximately what time the event took place? She says it was a little after five. You know I wish the two of you would stop talking about me like Im not here. Im barely three feet away, Miss Melley Her cheeks were flushed, and her fists

interrupted the two men. clenched.

Im sorry, Dora, Jake said. Lexie never heard Jake use Miss Melleys first name before and the tone of it was hushed, almost reverent. instant she saw the bond of their relationship. In that one They were like

mother and son and it made her smile, even as she held the rock with the words baby killer in her hands. Lexie, Jake said. Do you mind making up a pot of tea

for us, while Officer Braxton and I talk to Miss Melley out here? Lexie understood what lay underneath Jakes request, so she agreed, Sure. Once inside as Lexie stood in the kitchen and placed a teakettle on the stove, her nerves got the better of her and she began shaking all over. She reached for the pack of Pall Malls

she kept behind the sugar bowl and lit up a cigarette, smoking

126 it and tapping the ash into the kitchen sink. She had begun to This

leave a pack of cigarettes in every room in the house.

habit of Lexies frustrated Miss Melley who wanted her to quit smoking, but it also amused her. Lexie smoked five cigarettes in a row before the tea began to whistle. As she turned down the flame Jake walked in. He

stood holding the rock in his hand. and it made her bristle. Dont look at me like that. and poured herself a cup of tea. can handle this.

He looked at her with pity

She put out her cigarette I

Dont feel sorry for me.

Is that why your hands are shaking? Lexie looked down at her teacup trembling in her hand. Wheres Miss Melley? She went upstairs to lie down and I sent Officer Braxton back to the station. Are you going to tell her? And she should hear it from me,

Well I have to, dont I?

before Lexies voice trailed off suddenly as anguish quickly consumed her. She threw her teacup across the room, the sound

of its shatter putting a finish to her sentence.

127 As tea dripped down the walls, tears slid down her cheeks. Lexie put her hands on her face, wanting to hide her pain, but her shoulders heaved magnifying her despair. Jake came to her then and wrapped his arms around her. held her as she cried. for a long time. He

They stood in the middle of the kitchen

Jake departed leaving her alone to sweep up the piles of broken glass on the porch, and to turn off the oven. Miss She

Melley was still sleeping as Lexie set the dinner table.

wondered how her identity was found out as she took the chicken out of the oven. by exposing it. The few who knew about her past gained nothing Miss Melley appeared as Lexie sat at the table

set for two, the smell of the roasted chicken wafted about the room. Hey, Lexie said as she looked at Miss Melley, who seemed small as she stood at her perch in the archway.

128 Miss Melley walked in the room looking around as if she was seeing it for the first time. you, my dear. Are you okay? Im okay as I can be. The window is going to cost money. You got everything ready. Thank

Im sorry, Miss Melley. Miss Melley sat down across from her and began to spoon food on to both of their plates. I just dont understand it, she said. I dont understand it at all.

Miss Melley, I know why that rock was thrown through your window. Why? Because of me. Because of who I am.

What are you talking about, Lexie? My names not Lexie Carpenter. Its Lexie Lynn Jackson. I was in

I havent been traveling the country like I told you. jail for fifteen years.

Miss Melley stared at her, her eyes wide, and time stood still. Everything became magnified in a freakish way, the steam

from the chicken, the red of the tablecloth, and the gleam off the silverware. Then Miss Melley burst out laughing. When she

129 stopped she looked Lexie hard in the face and then recollection took over. You have the same look in your eyes, like youre running scared. Miss Melley leaned in to peer at her even more. Lexie Lynn Jackson? You

are that poor girl arent you? Yes.

I cant believe I couldnt see it. Everybody did. Your face was everywhere.

I followed that case. I just thought that

would be my worse nightmare. You were right. It was a nightmare only I was awake. I

wish I could say I was sorry for not telling you, but Im not. I never wanted anyone to find out. Lexie Carpenter is who I am now. in that jail cell. at her plate. I wanted to disappear.

To me, Lexie Lynn Jackson died

Lexie let out a deep sigh and stared down

But I am sorry for that rock through your

window, because to everyone else it seems I will always be that girl. I just want to know if you feel the same.

Miss Melley was quiet for a while and then she said, You dont want to know how I feel. about what youve done. You want to know what I think You

I think what you did was stupid.

never shake a baby, but I think you know that.

Because out of

all the stuff Ive read you never asked anyone to feel sorry for you. I know just by that, you regret what youve done.

130 Yes. want me to. Of course I do, but Ill leave, Miss Melley. If you

I thank you for all youve done for me and for not

being like the rest, but youre in for a bad time of it if you let me stay here. want to go. Even as Lexie said the words, she didnt She also knew it was still

She had nowhere to go.

what would be best, and by leaving shed be leaving Jake as well and that was probably best too. Youre right, but dont go. Its nice having the company.

Besides, nothing exciting has happened around here in a while. It was a bad joke, but it was needed and they shared a laugh. Lexie thought, what else could we do for Brian and

Eddie, except enjoy the life they cant? Theres a lot I havent told you, Lexie said. More than that? More than that. Then Im getting the scotch. They talked deep in the night, but for the first time it was Lexie doing most of the talking. She told Miss Melley about Miss Melley

the cross, the beige car, and most of all, David.

listened, mouth agape, and with each new revelation they both helped themselves to more scotch. They sat on the couch half-

131 drunk and wrapped in blankets. The moonlight filtered through

the curtains, and a draft blew in from the broken window. Does Jake know? Miss Melley asked.

He knows most of it, but he doesnt believe me, not about David. Maybe its too twisted a thing to try to understand. Hes trying to, though, Ill give him At

least it is for me. that.

And what about you?

What are you going to do?

Im going to find him. How are you going to do that? I havent figured it out yet, but I will. I have to.

How do you suppose someone found out about you? I dont know, but its all Im thinking about.

Jake sat in his car with the motor running along with his mind. He stared into Charlies windows and tried to figure out It happened quickly how he found out Charlie

what he would say.

132 was the one to let the cat out of the bag. Whats worse he knew

the poor guy probably didnt even remember, he was drunk at the time. After Jake left Lexie, he went to Joes diner to get some dinner of his own. The smell of Miss Melleys roasting chicken

reminded Jake it was early evening, and he had barely eaten anything. He walked into Joes diner and made a beeline toward his usual table, and found himself looking at everyone with suspicion. He couldnt help thinking, Did they know? Did they

know about her? So, he took a seat and ordered soup and a turkey sandwich, and sat there barely touching any of it. He was sitting and

staring into space, as his soup cooled and the lettuce in his sandwich began to wilt. The only thing that shook him out of

his stupor was Joe leaning up against the booth. Oh, hey, Joe, Jake said. Are you just going to stare or are you going to eat, Jake? Thats a perfectly good sandwich going to waste. Jake smiled, because he was use to getting harassed by Joe and theyd been enjoying one-upping each other for years. Joe

was one of those people you either loved or hated right off.

133 Jake knew hed love Joe from the minute he met him, because with Joe what you saw was what you got. I thought I was hungry, Joe. I guess I just I dont have

as much of an appetite as I thought. Well, then Im eating your sandwich. Ive been cooking

all day, and I havent had one decent meal myself, Joe said, sliding into the booth and sitting across from him. Jake slid his plate toward Joe, and Joe began to eat. Wheres your girlfriend? Joe asked between bites. What girlfriend? Jake asked back. and he knew it. Come on! You think I dont notice you picking her up He was being cheeky

after her shift, loitering around outside the door like some kind of beggar looking for scraps of food? Is that what I look like? Jake grinned and Joe grinned back. Yep. Charlie came in here about an hour ago.

Oh, yeah? Jake replied, his mind elsewhere and thinking about all the glass shining on Miss Melleys front porch. Yep. He was one hung over boy. He looked like death, and

despite the shower he claimed he took, he smelled like a gin mill.

134 Jake laughed. phrase. He could always trust Joe to turn a colorful

Poor, Charlie. That skinny fella could out drink

Poor Charlie, nothing! you or me, and you know it. True.

There was one time after stopping a fight at The

Black Crow; he got so drunk he couldnt come into work the next day. Of course, I didnt tell the Chief that. Its good you didnt! And that sounds like Charlie,

trying to keep the peace and all. Joe grabbed Jakes bowl of soup and began to eat. The Black Crow is what got him again.

He got drunk as a skunk with Hank Papstone, and why he was hanging out with that jackass is anybodys guess. Jake nodded, with his mind somewhere else. Yet, he

couldnt help but agree with Joes assessment of Hank Papstone. Hank was a trucker who left his wife Rita, and their three kids, for weeks at a time while he was on the road. When he wasnt

hauling around big rigs, he was getting into drunken fights, and generally making himself a nuisance around town. Several times,

Jake had to force the guy to pull over, after reports of him riding around drunk in his Wait a second! Jake cried out, banging his fist against the table and causing several customers to look in his direction. Joe, Hanks got a pick-up truck, right?

135 Yep. Its blue, right? Jake, what is this? Twenty questions? Yes, he has a pickWhat are you getting at?

up truck, and yes its blue.

Im not getting at anything, Joe, Jake said standing up and throwing on his jacket. talking. He threw money on the table to cover the bill and the tip. Jake, what are you doing paying for this? eating it. I ordered it, Joe. Im gonna pay for it. Im the one I gotta go, Joe. It was good

Then he left, and he couldnt get to Charlies fast enough. Now, he sat seeing the flickering of a television coming from inside. He knew Charlie was there the day Lexie went into meet

with the Chief, and Jake hoped he was wrong with the message his guts were sending, but he knew he wasnt. He got out of his car and walked to Charlies front door. He rang the doorbell once, twice, and then a third time, but there was no response. close to midnight. He glanced at his watch and saw it was

He rang the doorbell and waited.

Soon enough, he heard the sound of footsteps coming to the front door. The door swung open and Charlie stood before him

136 barefoot and in sweats, wearing a plaid bathrobe. He looked

like hell, and Joe was right, Jake could smell the liquor coming out of his pores. Hey, Jake, Charlie said, squinting at the glare from the streetlight. Whatcha doin here? You look a little hammered there, Charlie. Yeah, I had a rough night last night. lured me again. Yeah I heard, Joe told me. Can I come in? The Black Crow

Yeah sure, Jake. I was just watchin some TV. He ushered Jake in. Jake passed by Charlies posters of old westerns, Last Man Standing and Hang Em High. Jake smiled to himself. If there

was one thing about Charlie, it was he would always be trying to make up for his lanky build and baby face. Jake sat down on the Charlie sat

loveseat with its faded upholstery and shag throw. in the armchair opposite him. Im sorry to stop by so late. hoping you can help me sort it out. Whats up? Well, something happened at Miss Melleys. back from the diner--

I heard something and I was

I drove Lexie

137 The new waitress? Yeah. together. Weve, uh, weve been spending a bit of time Jake looked down at Charlies foot, which was

tapping out its own nervous tune against the floor. Wow. Shes real pretty, Jake.

Yes that she is, but thats not all there is to her is there, Charlie? No, Jake. No, shes more than that. Shes real nice

whenever I come into Joes. soup.

She sneaks extra crackers with my

Charlies tone was light, casual, but Jake saw it. written all over his face. Charlie. long time. I know that, Jake. that wasnt true. He knew.

It was

Be real with me now.

Weve known each other a

I wouldnt try to tell you something

I know you wouldnt try anything, Charlie, but I think you and I know what Im talking about. Jake Charlie began, than he faltered. and looked at the floor. Jake just sat with him and waited out the silence. He hung his head

138 Finally, Charlie looked up. her real name. I know Lexie Carpenter is not

Charlies words came out all in rush and his Im sorry,

tongue tripped on them trying to get them out. Jake, I kind of overheard.

She came into talk to the Chief, and Curiosity got the better of me.

I just couldnt help myself.

They went into his office and closed the door, and they were in there for such a long time. listened. I loitered by the door kinda and

Im not proud of it and I didnt hear much anyway. The

Just snippets of things, and something about that cross. only thing I really heard clearly was her name. I mean, but thats all, Jake. Thats all you know? Yeah. Well, what else is there to know?

Her real name,

I swear it, and Im sorry.

You really dont know do you? Know what, Jake? Charlie squeezed his eyes shut and Im really hung over, Jake,

lightly massaged his temples. please speak plain.

Do you remember a case of infancide about fifteen years ago? A seventeen year-old girl in New York? Charlie didnt answer at once and then he let out the smallest whisper. Lexie Lynn Jackson. His eyes grew so wide Jesus, Jake. I didnt

they seemed to take up his whole face. make the connection.

139 Did you tell anyone about her? I kinda did. Jakes eye. Charlies voice was low and he didnt meet

When I was at The Black Crow last night, at first One

I went to just grab a quick beer and some chicken wings.

beer turned into two, then you know it turned into a whiskey, some vodka. You know how it goes. Yep. Anyway, University of Texas was playing so I stuck around to watch the game. I really didnt think I was as drunk as I Now normally, But liquor

was, and I found myself talking to Hank Papstone. Hank and me dont have shit to say to one another. is a common denominator you know what I mean?

It was really me

and him left in the place, and we just got to talking about a lot of stuff. Here it comes, Jake thought. Like what? You know thats his

Well he was so irate about, Eddie. wifes sister-in-laws kid.

He asked if we found anything and So, I figured throw

he just seemed so fucked up about it, Jake. a dog a bone, you know?

Sounds like Charlie, Joes voice trumpeted through Jakes head.

140 Anyway I told him how that new waitress, Lexie, was real nice and helped us out by calling you and getting us that cross. Right. Jake forgot how his lie had stuck. So dont get mad, Jake, but we started talking about her and you know how guys get Charlie had such a hangdog expression, that Jake couldnt help but laugh. me. He asked if she was ever married before, and I said maybe cause she had another name before. knew and I said I just knew. He wanted to know how I Charlie, its okay. I would to. Just tell

I remember him getting a funny

look on his face, when I said her name, but I thought it was just all the beer, Jake. I figured she changed her name, to get I just didnt think about it.

away from some guy or something. Uh-huh.

Did Hank hang out much longer than that? I left soon after to

No, he went home a little before me. stumble my way home. passed out.

I left my car out front, and went home and

I came back this morning and got my car and came Except for going out to Joes, Ive

home to lick my wounds.

been holed up here ever since.

141 Well, Hank put two and two together sooner than you, Charlie. tonight. What?!? do you? You dont think Hank had anything to do with that Miss Melley got a rock thrown through her window

Charlie sat up straight as an arrow, his shock

overriding his nausea. Actually, Charlie, I think he had everything to do with it. A blue pick up truck was spotted leaving the scene. Tomorrow Im going to go over there and have a little talk with him. Oh man. Charlie sat back in his chair, stunned. Geez,

Jake, I fucked up.

He mustve freaked out cause of Eddie, but Hell, itd be easier if

your girl had nothing to do with that.

she did, maybe thered be no more killing. Well, Charlie, you and I know that, but theres a whole bunch of people around here looking to point fingers. If word

gets out, this could get worse than a fucking rock thrown through a window. all go. As he said the words, Jake saw how it would

A drunken Hank comes home to his wife, Rita, who was a Rita would tell the girls

woman who lived for others despair.

at her bridge club and then the snowball would really get rolling. And so on, and so on, Jake muttered.

What, Jake?

142 Nothing, Charlie. Im going to fix myself a little something, Jake. hungry? Are you

Charlie rose ready to make his way to the kitchen.

Thanks, Charlie, but I should be heading home. Bucks waiting. Okay, Jake. Jake moved towards the front door, his head reeling with what he learned. Jake? Yeah? Jake turned, with his hand on the doorknob. Im sorry I screwed up. Its alright, Charlie. Just remember when curiosity gets

the better of you next time, theres some stuff better left alone. Okay, Jake. Night, Charlie. Night, Jake. They smiled at each other. They were two old friends that

had been through a lot, and Jake knew after that night they would see worse, but he didnt want to think about it. So, he

143 went home to feed Buck, and thats the only thing he let himself think about for the rest of the night.

144

Home

There is fear. thing.

Were all afraid.

Fear is a powerful I

Its caused people to cheat, lie, steal, and kill.

cant blame you for being afraid.

I cant blame you for wanting Theres

all of this to go away, because two boys are dead. nothing we can do to change it.

What we can do is stop any more

shameful acts of violence from being committed against the children of this town. I promise you that my men and I will do

anything necessary to make sure that happens. The Chiefs speech was met with thunderous applause and Lexie watched them from her seat in the town hall. Lexie sat

all the way in the back with her head ducked down low, and underneath a knit cap. Miss Melley was by her side. Miss

Melley was the one who made her come, in order to save face. Almost the entire town was there. The town committee, the

145 chief, the Mayor, and Jake sat all in a row at a long table in the front. Everyone knew. pariah. Word spread like a virus and she became a

Jake told her everything about Charlie, and Charlie was Every time Charlie came

the only one who sat in her station.

in, he would take in all the people whispering around them, and order bowl after bowl of soup. He only ate one of them, but he Lexie knew he

would sit there just the same and talk to her. was sorry.

She wouldnt make him feel worse, and she was glad

someone sat in her station besides Jake and Miss Melley. Lexie thought Joe would fire her. He didnt. She thought

the other girls at the diner probably wouldnt speak to her. They didnt. It was a lonely time, and she was getting tired of Everything was slipping away and Lexie knew it.

feeling lonely.

She was waiting for what would come next. It was almost Thanksgiving, and that alone was making her dreams worse. All the death lately hadnt helped that. No

other boys were found since Eddie, but the whole town including her was waiting for another boy to turn up among the leaves. They were all in a panic. Those that were there shouted out

questions filled with paranoia and distress, and looked at her with such disdain; it made her want to change her face. even spit on her. One man

She wiped the ball of phlegm off her face,

146 stopped Miss Melley from taking a swing at him, and they took their seats. Now, as she looked at all the people applauding loudly, she knew how foolish they all were. anything. The chief couldnt stop

It would go on and on until either she was dead, or

her tormentor was, and she was still wondering which one of them it would be. Look at them all, Miss Melley whispered in her ear. So

wanting to believe in something, theyll believe in anything. I know, Lexie said and shook her head. I know.

She rose with Miss Melley as everyone began to file his or her way out. Hank Papstone passed by them; his left eye was He

still a nasty purplish hue, and puffed up and half-shut.

gave Miss Melley a stiff nod, barely looked at her, and walked on. Lexie knew whod done it. Jake had done it. Shed been at

Joes at the time. Miss Melley told her Hank showed up with two other men, a sheet of glass, a bunch of tools, a black eye, and a limp. He

fixed the window, mumbled his apologies to Miss Melley and asked if she could tell Jake he stopped by. Jake never admitted to Miss Melley it had been him, but he didnt have to, and Miss Melley said I dont care if he fesses up or doesnt. My window is fixed, and that black eye made me

just about laugh my ass off.

147 Lexie called Jake but he wouldnt give her anything besides the following, Lex, we just had a little talk is all. She couldnt say she cared enough to find out anything else. The window needed to be fixed, and Hank Papstone needed So she asked no more questions.

to get punched.

Lexie and Miss Melley walked out of the town hall arm and arm. A dense fog had rolled in and the moon shone through it A few people milled about in the parking lot, As Lexie and Miss Melley

hazy and yellow.

talking about the nights events.

passed, there were the inevitable whispers and Lexie was getting use to them along with everything else. They made their way through the crowded parking lot with Miss Melley doing her best to distract her from the glares. Lexie felt someone bump hard up against her leg, and she looked down to see Penelope Wheeler. Penelope was the only child of

Jane Wheeler, who was an overprotective nightmare. Whats wrong, kid? Lexie asked.

Ive lost my mama, Penelope said through her sniffles. Lets get her back to Jane, knowing that woman shes probably having a coronary, Miss Melley said. Penelope began to suck her thumb and managed to squeeze words passed the chubby digit. Can you find my mama?

I hope not, Miss Melley muttered. I can try, said Lexie.

148 Lexie made her way through the crowd, weaving between bodies, with Miss Melley holding one hand and Penelope holding the other. She began to yell, Mrs. Wheeler! Mrs. Wheeler!

Soon enough Jane Wheelers voice came booming across the parking lot. Penelope!

Lexie turned to see Jane Wheeler running at full speed towards them, her hair flying out behind her, and shaking one raised fist. You stay the hell away from my little girl! We were

Penelope, honey, I think you should calm down. just trying to find you, Miss Melley cooed.

Jane Wheeler ripped Penelope out of Lexies grasp. Melley, you stay out of this!

Miss

This is between me and her!

All the hysteria of the town was reflected in Jane Wheelers stare, and Lexie knew she should walk away. Miss Melley, lets go. She took Miss Melleys arm and led her away, as Jane Wheeler continued to shriek. Miss Melley looked over her She felt the Come on,

shoulder, as Lexie tried to hurry them both along. tears beginning to come, but Lexie wouldnt cry.

Not in front

of all those people, because thats what they wanted, to see her break. So she walked even faster, practically dragging Miss

Melley as everyone stared after them. I know what youve done! stay away from my girl! Jane Wheeler screamed. You

149

Is Mrs. Citron here? Lexie hadnt been to the Citrons ever since she was revealed. She hadnt seen any of them, not even Emily. Lexie

came to see how she stood with them, and really she came to see Emily. So, Lexie decided to stop by on the way to Joes. As

she stood under the gray sky, she wondered why she came. She didnt expect Lauren, the seventeen-year old babysitter to answer the door. Lauren stood before her in tight jeans and

a sweater, her dark hair falling around her shoulders and malice in her eyes. Shes here, Lauren replied as she smacked on her bubble gum. Shes in the kitchen. Can I speak with her? Lauren looked at her a moment, shrugged, and disappeared from the open doorway. A moment later Mrs. Citron appeared, as

always she looked perfect, and she wore a green-checkered apron sprinkled with flour. Anxiety emanated from her in waves. How are you?

Lexie, she said.

Do you want the real answer?

150 Lauren, can you excuse us for a moment? Yeah, Lauren said in an offhand manner, eyed them both, gave Lexie another sour look and went inside. I heard about Miss Melleys window, Mrs. Citron said. She took Lexies arm and walked them up the walkway. anything, Daniel, and I can do to help? Oh, thats okay. Oh good. Everythings been taken care of. Is there

Mrs. Citron began playing with her apron, Lexie, what are you doing here?

balling it up in one fist.

I wanted to know if I waswell I wanted to know if I was welcome here anymore. Oh, Lexie Mrs. Citron got a look on her face like a deer caught in headlights and that was all Lexie needed. She started to turn away, the sting of rejection making her throat dry up and a lump began to form. hand. Mrs. Citron grabbed her

Lexie was surprised to see tears in Mrs. Citrons eyes. Its just that I have to protect my

Lexie, Im so sorry. little girl. I understand.

No, you dont. Its not about you. much thats happened lately.

There has just been so

This town has been turned on its So,

ear, and I dont want Emily to be a part of it. unfortunately that means not seeing you. OhI see. I mean I understand.

151 Lexie, you dont have to keep saying that. The thing is Lexie didnt know what else to say. She just

stood there in the wind watching Mrs. Citrons mouth move, hearing her words, and trying to not feel anything. She looked

up at Emilys bedroom window, to see her sitting there staring down at them, and she was crying. her gaze away. Lexie forced herself to tear

Mrs. Citron reached into her apron pocket, and

took out a wad of bills and thrust them into Lexies hand. Please take this, Lexie. Lexie stared down at the cash; it seemed to sear a hole into her hand. She knew it was a payoff to get her to just go Shed done

away, a way for the Citrons to relieve their guilt.

a lot of degrading things in her time, but nothing made her feel dirtier than this. She shoved the money into the pocket of her

uniform, and put it away along with her pride. Thank you, Mrs. Citron. Im sorry, Lexie. So am I. Lexie watched Mrs. Citron turn away from her, walk up the walkway, and go inside. window. She looked up once more at Emilys

Emily waved and even from her vantage point, she could She waved

see Emilys tears and her little lower lip tremble. in return.

Emily held up a piece of paper to the window that

had the words I miss you in her loopy childlike handwriting

152 scrawled across it. and walked away. Me too kid, Lexie thought. She waved again

I have to arrest you, Lexie, Charlie said. They stood outside Joes Diner in the midday sun. At first

when Lexie saw him come in, she thought he was coming in for his usual bowl of soup. hour. She was cleaning a table, in order to give herself a reason for being there, when she saw his lanky frame in the doorway. His face looked grim and he gestured for her to come outside. Now he looked at her from under the brim of his hat, his handcuffs in his hand. Are you kidding? Lexie asked. Penelope Wheeler is missing. What? Is this a fucking joke? The chief She only served two people in the last

You know I wouldnt joke with you, Lexie.

wanted Jake to come down here, but I said I would do it. This isnt happening. Lexie, Im sorry, but Mrs. Wheeler is hysterical.

153 When is she not? She took a Pall Mall out of the pack in

the pocket of her uniform, and lit it and smoked. Look, she saw you with Penelope the other night, and now shes turned up missing. Look, Charlie, I was trying to help that kid find that bitch. You can ask, Miss Melley.

Lexie, calm down and come with me. Charlie extended his hand and she backed away. coming with you, Charlie. Im not

Im sorry, but thats not happening.

I know youre not, but for now you are. What do you mean? I want you to get in the car. Were going to take a

little drive but I promise you, Lexie, you wont end up in a cell again. Lexie looked in Charlies eyes and something in them made her trust his words. She stepped towards his police cruiser and Cuff me.

put her hands behind her back.

I promise you, Lexie, this is only temporary, he said as he put the handcuffs on her. Charlie helped her into the patrol car and then got into the drivers seat. She turned her head to see some customers Then

were watching, their faces pressed up against the glass. they drove off.

Lexie thought of all the checks left unfinished She thought

and the few tips she had languishing on the tables.

154 about how pissed off Joe would be to discover her gone. pictured him flipping burgers and calling out her name. She Lexie

thought of all these things, except for the fact that she was handcuffed in a police car. Charlie fiddled with the radio station, making its dial dance between country western and gospel. He settled on a

cooking show, and its hosts were talking about how to baste a better turkey. It was somewhere between banter about stuffing

with walnuts and emptying of gizzards, she saw their route change. A greater number of trees were coming into view, and

she realized they werent by the station but damned near. Where are we going? feel tight. Were almost there. They ended up at a clearing of the woods, right behind the police station. The only other thing in view was a trail, which Charlie sat staring down at the She asked, her handcuffs starting to

led off to only God knew where. steering wheel.

He spoke, not turning his head, just staring

down at the wheels black leather like it held the secrets to the universe. You know we got nothing, Lexie. are dead, another one missing. Nothing. And two kids

Mrs. Wheeler was out of her mind

with worry, screaming her ass off in the police station, and blubbering all over the place. Chief Brunes had it. Not even,

155 Jake could stop him from gunning for you. I believe you didnt

do anything, Lexie, and people are talking and its pretty much all my fault. me. No one wouldve known about you if it werent for

Im sure, Jake, told you everything. Yeah, he did. Lexie twisted her hands within the It had been a

confines of her handcuffs, dying to get them off.

long time since she had handcuffs on her; she was hoping she would never see a pair again. I just feel bad. cause of me. I feel bad that all of this is happening

He rubbed his hands up and down his thighs and Do you have any money on you?

licked his lips nervously.

She looked down at the lump of cash from Mrs. Citron in her pocket. I have close to two hundred bucks.

Lean forward. She did and he took her handcuffs off. said, rubbing her wrists. We dont have much time. start. Im giving you a ten-minute Thank you, she

It should give me enough time to do what I have to do.

He pulled a navy blue sweater from underneath the drivers seat. Take this, cause youre gonna get cold. See that trail? The

highway is through those woods, just beyond those trees. about three miles to it. What? Run, Lexie. Run.

Its

156 She looked at him and already she knew where she would go, New York. She would go to Sister Margaret, and find out some Why are you doing this?

answers and then who knows.

You gave me extra crackers. He shrugged and his face was as somber as a priest at a funeral mass. Run.

She did just that, slamming open the door of the police cruiser and grabbing the sweater. clearing and into the woods. Lexie ran across the small

The gray of the sky, the green of

the leaves, stood out to her bold and in technicolor as the wind and trees whipped past. Ten minutes, only ten minutes. She ran listening to the

thundering of her heart and her rapid breaths, all her years of smoking catching up to her. Before Lexie knew it she reached the highway as she heard the faint sound of sirens coming from behind.

Charlie watched Lexies form become smaller and smaller, as she ran farther and farther into the woods. his watch, and three minutes had sped by. time. Instantly he went into action. Charlie looked at

He didnt have much

He took out one of the

157 rolls of quarters he kept in his glove compartment and began to hit his jaw. He grimaced every time his face met metal. He

tasted blood in his mouth, and one of his teeth felt loose, so he stopped. He checked out his face in the rearview mirror and He put the quarters back Two minutes

saw it was already starting to bruise.

in the glove compartment and checked his watch. sped by, only five left.

Calmly, only his eyes showing any trace of pain, Charlie dislocated his shoulder. shot through his body. He tried to muffle a groan as pain

It was an old varsity softball injury.

It healed remarkably, but quite by accident he found out his shoulder could dislocate again if he pushed hard enough. When

it first happened, he was losing his virginity to a girl named Carla, and she grabbed his shoulder in their passion. out such a howl she mistook it for lust. It wasnt. He let They went

to the emergency room that night, mortified and half dressed. The pain now was still hard to endure. Charlie bit his lip

as he scampered out of the patrol car, and hurried toward the station. He hoped they believed what he was going to say.

158

The Discovery

It was three days later.

Lexie sat curled up in the back They flapped their

of a truck, carrying a bunch of chickens.

wings in their cages, scattering feathers everywhere, and they floated in front of Lexies eyes until all she could see was a cloud of white. Her eyes burned from too little sleep, the rest

of her was amped up on rest stop coffee and pure adrenaline. Her uniform she long ago discarded in favor of some clothes she borrowed, from the woman who gave her a ride out of Texas. When she reached the highway, her heart throwing itself up against her chest over and over, her breath haggard, she did something she hadnt done in over a decade. thumb. It didnt take long until someone picked her up. A They Lexie stuck out her

stripper named Debbie, heading to her fathers funeral.

talked little, but when she dropped Lexie off on a random stretch of highway, she gave her some clothes and cigarettes.

159 Now Lexie sat surrounded by poultry and contemplating what to do next. She looked out the back of the trucks window to

see a sign, Welcome to Connecticut, flash across her field of vision. Getting closer, she thought. Lexie sat back down among

the crates of chicken, and rested her head between her knees. Shed been sleeping that way for several days, that is when she did sleep. She wouldnt allow herself time to stop and think or

sleep if she could help it. Lexie was down to fifty bucks and her patience was lower. Even though she was traveling non-stop, she felt like she was standing still. She felt as if she was standing in the same Everything was insane

spot next to Charlies police cruiser. and her face was everywhere.

The first time she saw herself on television was after a night of sleeping on a rest stop bench. She woke up and

stumbled into the gas stations mini mart, longing for something to eat. The attendant was a freckled face teenager, and he

barely looked up at her. Lexie was contemplating the corn dogs when she heard her name, and looked up at the TV and was surprised to see her own face staring back at her. The newscaster prattled on about In a panic she

Penelope Wheeler and she felt her hands go numb.

swiped a corn dog, a pair of scissors, and a bottle of hair bleach before she fled.

160 Lexie stood in the rest stops bathroom and cut all her hair off. Lexie grasped the scissors in one hand, and long She cut her

pieces of her dark hair formed a pile in the sink. hair, wolfing down the stale corn dog. less and less like her, as she snipped. hair bleach on her head.

Her reflection looked Then she dumped the

When she finally saw the finished

product, she laughed at herself, a laugh that teetered on the edge of hysteria. Now Lexie sat in the chicken truck, her hair turned from brown to blonde, long to short. She wondered what would happen

when she reached Sister Margaret, or if the nun was even alive anymore. If she was, shed be a little over seventy.

Eventually Lexie drifted off to sleep.

Jake sat in his office, all the lights off, staring into nothingness. dark. He didnt know how long he was sitting in the Where

He only knew his mind was going a mile a minute.

is she? It had been the only thought he had for days now. Ever since Charlie came limping into the police station, a wild look in his eye, things had snowballed. Jake felt he lost

161 all control and he had. After the chief saw Charlie and heard The chief Jake

his story, Jake could see something snap inside him.

went into his office without a word and made a phone call.

suspected the call was to the chiefs golfing buddy the mighty senator, because the next thing he knew Lexies face was on TV news bulletins everywhere. He knew she was being offered up like a lamb to the slaughter, he and the chief were at odds, and Penelope was still nowhere to be found. Part of him was beginning to doubt Lexie, His mind was pin

and that fucked with him more than anything.

wheeling in every direction and then it finally converged into one thought, the beige car. He walked out of his office, and said goodnight to the night deputy. It was time to go hunting.

All perpetual motion stopped and now she was back where it all began. She stood staring at the door of Mcflannigans

shivering in her fishnets, miniskirt and t-shirt that bared the words Punk Rock across the front. It was two days before She took in

Thanksgiving and New York was appropriately frigid.

162 the cobblestone walkway, iron gate, and small unassuming sign. It was like she was fifteen again, only her circumstances were more desperate than needing to come off an amphetamine high and finding a place to sleep. Her thoughts were circling upon

themselves and her head was a jumble of confusion. Lexies past was turning up again making the present seem useless and the future hard to hope for. Her thoughts were

beginning to work their way into a spin, so she knocked even harder. A young nun with a pinched up face opened the door. clutched a bible, and looked at Lexie, horrified. Miss, your skin is blue. Is Sister Margaret here? Lexie asked through chattering teeth. Yes, the nun replied as she took her by the arm. inside and we can get you all warmed up. The nun pulled her inside, and Lexie heard young girls shouting and knew she was home. She followed the young nun into Come She

My goodness,

the main room where young girls lay about, their bodies curvy and ripe with baby fat. They cussed at each other, as they

fought over the remote control. Girls! Girls! The nun yelled over the fray. Try to

behave yourselves, we have a visitor!

163 Lexie stood shivering in the archway. Her teeth were

chattering so hard, she felt like they would shake right out of her head. She took all the girls in and saw their jaded She was once one of them, but she didnt have time

expressions. to reflect.

May I see Sis-Sister Margaret?

Where is she?

Shes right up the stairs and in the third room on the right, in the corner. Lexie started to go upstairs when the nun grabbed her by the elbow. Wait, you must get warmed up. something. I dont have time for that. Who are you? I must tell her something. A tea, a sweater, or

Look, this is kind of a personal thing between me and her, but you have to trust me when I tell you shed want to see me. The nun looked at her and said, Come with me. you up there, but I insist on bringing you some tea. almost time for her medication anyway. She followed the nun up the stairs, and with each step Lexie took she was pulled back into the past. So when she Ill show Its

reached the top, she felt exactly like the girl she once had been, scared and alone. the nun knocked softly. They reached Sister Margarets room and

164 Sister Margaret, the nun said through the door. have a visitor. They both heard Sister Margaret beckoning; the sound muffled by the doors heavy wood. The nun opened the door and She sat by the You

there Sister Margaret was in her rocking chair. window peering out at the moon and the cold.

She looked older Her face

and smaller in body, but her face had hardly changed. still had its calm and serene quality.

Lexie stepped into the

room and the nun closed the door behind her. Sister Margaret? Sister Margaret turned her head and stared at her for an eternity. At last she spoke. Lexie? She ran

Lexie nodded, overjoyed her friend recognized her. to her and hugged her.

Sister Margarets thin arms wrapped

around her, and she took in Sister Margarets scent, which was a combination of lemons and liniment. Youre freezing. Sister Margaret quickly threw her shawl What happened to your

around Lexie and hugged her tight. hair?

She didnt know if it was fatigue, returning to where it all began or both, but she started to laugh and couldnt stop. Lexie used to think it was when she ran away from home, took her first step on to the highway, and stuck out her thumb at the cars passing by that her life changed. She was wrong. As she

165 laughed maniacally in the nuns arms, Lexie realized when she first stepped into McFlannigans wet and stoned that her world changed. Her laughter died away eventually and she broke away

from Sister Margaret, and knelt at her feet, trying to catch her breath. Sister Margaret, you dont seem surprised to see me. Im not. Yesterday the winds changed. It became windy

like that night you came to me with Dylan in your arms, and of course I saw the news. I knew I would see you.

Youve seen the news? Yes. Youre everywhere and I bet its just when you hoped

everyone would forget. Theyll never forget. Is it true you took that little girl? God no. I didnt think so, but it never hurts to ask does it? Sister, its been fifteen years. Im aware. Ive missed you. Ive missed you too, dear. arent you? Yes, I am. Youre in a lot of trouble

166 Well that would explain the hair. She reached toward

Lexies throat to reveal the cross Lexie never took off, and held it in her hands. You still have it after all this time. It

Its the only thing I have from that time, from him. reminds me ofeverything. Did you?

I came to talk to you about him.

Tears welled up in Sister Margarets eyes and He was a good

she wiped them away with one sun-spotted hand. man. Weak, but good.

I still put flowers on his grave.

Do you believe in ghosts, Sister Margaret? Sister Margaret looked out the window, and the way the moonlight illuminated her she almost looked like a ghost herself. I believe there are some things that cant be Of course for some time

explained and are beyond our imagining.

people believed the world was flat and we see how that turned out. People have a hard time believing in something that isnt

right in front of them, perhaps thats why my churchs congregation has dwindled. She laughed softly. So, yes I do

believe in ghosts, but its the demons that people carry inside of them that are the true horrors. I think David is alive. There was a soft knock at the door and the young nun from before stuck her head in the doorway. time for your medication. tea. Sister Margaret, its

I brought you and your friend some

167 Well, come in, Sister Ann. Lets get this over with.

The young nun entered with a tea set and two cups filled to the brim for both Lexie and Sister Margaret. She couldnt have She

come at a worse time, but the tea did warm Lexie up.

watched as Sister Margaret obediently opened her mouth to accept the blue pill the younger nun offered. Its for my arthritis, she said and gestured toward her cane as she swallowed the pill down. The younger nun nodded at them both and left. They sat

there together with Sister Margaret staring at her the same way the chief and Jake had done. You think Im crazy, Lexie said. Well, yes. I assure you hes quite dead. I saw the

orderlies cut him down myself. Hes not. What? I found his cross. You

Sister Margaret looked at her in amazement. I gave that to, Jenny.

couldnt have.

168

Jenny

When somebody goes insane it doesnt happen all at once. This is how Jenny was explained to Lexie, as she sat mute from what she knew. Jenny was the one who took the lives of two

boys, who barely had a chance to experience the lives they had. So, now Lexie hated a woman she hadnt spoken to in close to twenty years. I dont understand, Lexie replied to the bomb Sister Margaret dropped on her. You will, Sister Margaret said. to. I dont want to, but I need to. you know. Everything. So, tell me everything But you may not want

Sister Margaret did tell her everything, after Lexie filled her in on what was happening in Palmetto. She hated to be the

169 one to put the look of repulsion on Sister Margarets face, but Lexie had to tell her about the mess in Texas. After the nun recovered, she launched in to the tale of a woman, who was use to fading into the background. affluent and misguided. Jenny grew up

She was raised by a bevy of nannies,

faceless and nameless women with only one thing in common, their Eastern European accent. She came to Sister Margaret when she

was in her early thirties, a few years before Lexie came into the nuns existence. Sister Margaret found Jenny sitting alone

in a church pew of St. Augustines Church. Jenny came to New York to find the only family that mattered, only to discover that family was long dead and forgotten. She worked as a systems analyst at the time, to feel

like she was a part of society in spite of her familys wealth. She used to be pretty, but the pain of her own life erased any pleasantness in her face and litheness of her body. Jenny came to Sister Margaret and the church to be saved from her own self. companion. But what does this have to do with, David? Lexie interrupted. It has everything to do with, David. honey. I just have so many questions. Was she his lover? Just let me finish, Before long, she was the nuns constant

170 Sister Margaret shook her head. woman he ever loved. No. You were the only

He told me that the week before he died, Jenny loved him,

when he was in one of his more lucid states. but she saw herself as his disciple. he had.

She went to every sermon

I know, Lexie said, leaning her head up against one of Sister Margarets frail legs. I remember.

When she found out about your affair, she started crying right here in this room. Tears began to roll down the nuns The day

face, even though her voice didnt waver a millimeter. he died was beautiful. The sky was a clear blue.

Everything

under Gods great earth seemed at peace, although he was not. Im the one who checked him into that awful place, but I was afraid of what hed do if left alone. It didnt matter. He

found a way to do the very thing I feared. Yes he did. Lexie sat, picturing the orderlies cutting his body down. I came back to the church, the nun continued. know what else to do. blacked out. I didnt

When I told Jenny what happened, she

She just collapsed right in front of me, and I The only thing that made She accompanied me every

couldnt get her to eat for two weeks. her get up out of bed was your trial. day.

171 Yes, Lexie recalled. When I was on the witness stand

and looked out to the crowd, your face was the one I looked for, and Jenny was always right beside you. She wouldnt have it any other way. It was one of the few

times I saw her fight for something. Sister Margaret said. She left me soon after you were imprisoned. me once a season. She comes to visit She came to

She was here in the early fall.

see me with my mail in hand and What did you say? Lexie jerked her head up off of the nuns lap. She came to see me. No about the mail. Your mail.

She gave me my mail. You never got my letter, Lexie said. I sent you a letter thats how she knew about me. Thats how she knew.

Jake sat drinking beers in the dark of his house, with Buck asleep at his feet. He was waiting for a call from his old

buddy, Bill, in Vice.

172 It was a call, which wouldnt come anytime soon. anyway. He waited

It wasnt the only call he was waiting for, but he Even though, Jake

wouldnt let himself think about Lexie. thought about her all the time.

Ever since Lexies disappearance, or really her escape, Jake looked for the elusive beige car. He found nothing until

he went to the towns sleazy motel to talk to Paul Morris. The same day Lexie first hit the fringes of New York State, Jake was driving towards the poorer side of town. way to see a man he wouldnt talk to on a dare. Jake hated Paul Morris like poison, because of the mans persona, and the fact he attempted to run a pornography production company out of his motel. Jake was no prude, but he also knew Paul thought every woman should be on her knees so to speak, and that he couldnt respect. They shut Paul down for a while, but he got off on a So he was able to keep his fleabag establishment They kept tabs on him, but so far he was He also called everyone He was on his

technicality.

up and running.

running the motel and the motel only. cowboy, which drove Jake nuts.

Jakes visit to Paul was on a hot day, which was unusual for November, even in Texas. and wasnt about to let up. A curious heat wave was upon them Jake felt as if they were being

173 pounded with rain or by the suns rays. It was as if the

weather was mirroring the towns insane events. Paul sat outside the motel in a lawn chair. He wore no

shirt and his sunburned belly drooped over the waistline of his dress slacks. by his side. Hey, Paul, hows it going? Jake said as he sauntered up the motel steps to meet him. Pretty good, Jake. Pretty damned good. Nothing like a Two six-packs of ice-cold beer rested in a cooler

cold beer on a hot afternoon. on a prom night, huh? Yep. Jake smirked. also be funny. So, Jake, want a beer? Sure, Paul, why not.

This day is hotter than a virgin

Paul could be crude, but he could

Paul grabbed a beer out of the cooler and tossed it to him. Jake caught it and opened it, and the first sip was nirvana. Thanks, Paul, I needed that. They sat and drank. Jake leaned up against the wall next Jake thought

to Paul and both of them stared out into the day. about how he wished he were there for just a beer.

Paul, I was wondering have you had any recent visitors? I get them every day, Jake. People passing through here At least they all pay.

and stopping for a quick fuck or a nap.

174 Paul scratched his stubbly chin. In fact that gal theyre all

looking high and low for, she stayed here when she first came into town. Good looking woman. He grunted and sounded like a Sweet ass on that one, in fact if I was younger,

rutting pig. Id--

Paul, lets not get into that right now. Jake cut him off, knowing he was doing Paul a favor. If he kept talking

about Lexie that way, Jake was going to shove the two six-packs of beer in a most unpleasant place for Paul Morris. I was just

wondering if youd seen any one new around town driving a beige car, a four door, maybe a sedan. Im not really sure, I just

know its beige, it has a motor, and I need to find it and whos driving it. Paul sat scratching his chin some more, and Jake knew Paul was enjoying making him sweat. It was rare Jake needed anything

from Paul Morris, other than the fact that he wanted him to keep his nose clean. spoke. Well, cowboy, I see so many people, but maybe you can help me jog my memory some. front teeth. Jake stood there humbled. He could strong arm Paul, flash Time Paul grinned, exposing his two missing Paul let out a loud and long belch and then

his badge, get a search warrant, but that would take time. he didnt have.

Yet, there was one universal thing that could

175 sway anybody, and Paul knew it by the way he was looking at him. Jake took his wallet out of his back pocket and looked into the depths within. help you? Its a start, Paul said, snatching the money. Jake gave him another twenty. Thats a lot better, Paul said, and pocketed the cash, then took a long swig of beer. Like I told ya before, Jake. He pulled out a twenty-dollar bill. Will that

I do get a lot of people coming through, but theres this one lady who tends to stick out, even though she might not wanna. A lady? Yeah, Jenny Harper, at least thats what she signs in under. Shes been staying here off and on, I dont know where Shes big as a mack truck and she

she goes and I dont care.

gives me the creeps, always humming, but she pays cash up front and shes quiet as a mouse. Jenny Harper? Never leaves a mess neither.

What does she drive?

Paul stuck out his hand, wiggled his fingers, and smiled his lecherous grin. senseless. Morris. Jake resisted the urge to punch him

He hated being at the whim of a man like Paul

He was down to forty bucks, and he wanted to go to

Joes to get something to eat. Although going in there and seeing Lexies empty section pained him. He handed Paul one more twenty. He didnt want any

176 more trouble. One run in with Hank Papstone was enough. Jake

didnt want to turn into the guy who used his fists to solve everything. Jake wasnt himself, the day he stood on Hank Papstones front porch, with Hank pinned beneath him and his fist destroying Hanks face. Hank tried to fend him off.

All Jake could see was Lexie crying in his arms, the strong woman he knew reduced to a trembling mess. into Lexies sobs in Jakes mind. pulled him off Hank. Hanks whines turned

Charlie was the one that

Jake stood drawing haggard breaths in Miss Melleys window was

Charlies grasp and feeling ashamed. fixed, but at what cost?

Hank did egg him on with his refusal to see his own dysfunction, that and his words of Your bitch deserves what is coming to her. Those two things were enough to make Jakes The result was

rage blind him to any sense of right and wrong. Hanks face turned to ground meat.

When the dust settled, Jake thought this is what the killer feels. He feels this rage, this sense of injustice. He wanted

to remember that dark moment as hellish as it was, because he could use it to catch the son of a bitch. His temper was getting the better of him with Paul, and every moment wasted was a strike against Lexie. Paul was

wasting his time and Jakes wallet was getting lighter because

177 of it. Jake was growing tired of indulging him. Yet, he also

knew instincts were nothing without facts. Come on, Paul, what does she drive? A beige Ford, I think. Do you mind if I take a look at the register? Thatll cost you another twenty, Jake. grinned. No, it wont. Pauls grin quickly faded as he saw the look in Jakes eyes. It was the same look Hank saw; only he didnt pay However, Paul had been around long enough to Again Paul

attention to it.

know when a man looked at you with rage in his eyes, you better listen. Alright follow me, Jake.

Paul got up out of his chair, his heft slowing his ascent, and Jake followed him inside. The air conditioning was up full

blast turning the Texan hotel into an artic igloo. Jesus, Paul, you could turn the A/C down a little. I know its a real ball shrinker. My balls dont know if

theyre coming or going these days, but if I turn it down one notch the guests complain. So what can you do? Paul went around to the front desk and slid the register Jakes way. He knew what he was searching for. He flipped to Paul threw his hands up in the air.

the week of Brians murder, and the name Jenny Harper appeared

178 in red ink. The same name appeared the week of Eddies death.

Jake felt the bile attempting to rise in his throat. Oh, Jesus, Jake mumbled. You alright, Jake? your cookies, cowboy. Oh, Jesus. Jake looked up at Paul, his face green. You look like youre about to toss

Paul, I need a copy of this, and before you say it there is no way in hell Im giving you more money. Just get me a copy. dont care if you have to trace it. Okay, Jake, okay. I

Fucking make it happen.

What did this chick do, Jake?

Paul had an excited gleam in his beady eyes, because he loved anything and anyone deviant. Nothing good, Paul. copies. Sure, Jake, no problem. Anything you say, cowboy. Nothing good, now about those

Hey, Paul, what does she hum? Dont know, something religious. Paul went into the back room, and Jake heard the whir of a copier at work. He stood there trying to connect the dots. This

Jenny was clearly someone who knew both Lexie and David; otherwise the cross wouldnt be coming into play. He stood

there thinking of everything that Lexie couldve possibly told him, which would give him some sort of clue. him. Then it came to

179 Well, I did talk to Jenny the cleaning lady. She just ran around with her feather duster humming. It was a small thing.

A single sentence within the epic Lexie told him the first night they made love. It was a small thing, but it was all he needed.

Here you go, Jake. Paul fluttered the copied pages in front of him, lifting Jake out of his fog. Thanks, Paul. Im going to get going.

He walked out of the motel, the heat a blessed change from the icebox he was just standing in. Paul followed behind and

returned to sit in his lawn chair, which was permanently bowed from his weight. his beers. Jake clapped him on his back and took two of

He smirked at the look on Pauls face, but he knew

Paul wouldnt object. I figure twenty bucks for each beer, Paul, Jake said, opening one and taking a sip as he walked down the steps. Paul laughed even as he watched Jake take some of his bounty, and then shouted after him Any word on the girl with the sweet ass, Jake? Jake paused with his back to Paul and his car keys in hand. Pauls question seemed to be one of the many he didnt know the answer to, and was the most important of all. When I find out, Paul, Jake said with a sigh. you know. Ill let

180 Jake climbed into his Explorer, and he saw Paul straighten up a little, pleased to be treated with a modicum of respect. He didnt have the heart to let Paul believe otherwise. Morris was a sleaze, but he was human like anyone else. Humanity seemed to be lacking lately. So Jake started his car He Paul

and drove off, kicking up little clouds of dust as he went.

didnt see Jenny sitting in her beige car, parked a block away, and watching him go. The last thing in Jakes mind, as he assessed the events of that day, was the look of pride on Pauls face. Jakes eyes

drooped closed and his empty beer can fell out of his hand and on to the floor. Buck. Soon he was snoring in time with his dog,

After Sister Margarets endless insistence Lexie took a hot shower. When she stepped out the television was on. Lexie

walked out in her towel, to see Sister Margaret turning up the volume, and the chief talking to a bevy of reporters.

181 Thankfully, this morning at six or so, Penelope Wheeler was found, the chief said, and cheers erupted from the crowd. I know this is good news, but please everyone settle down. was found sleeping in the woods. wandering off from the house. She

Apparently she got lost after As

Children are a curious bunch.

you know with the good comes the bad, and the bad news is Lexie Lynn Jackson still hasnt been found, but police across the country have been put on alert. Fuck, Lexie thought and put her head in her hands. The other bad news is another child is missing. This news was greeted with rapid-fire questions and the chief fielded them all. Sister Margaret and Lexie looked at

each other and the nun asked, Do you know who it could be? Lexie shook her head and the chief continued. The family wishes that her identity be kept secret until further notice. No offense, ladies and gentleman, but they saw They

what a carnival you made out of the Wheelers front yard.

dont want to see the same sight out of their picture window. They wish to maintain some peace in spite of the circumstances. A picture window, Lexie said to herself and her blood went cold. What dear? Sister, may I use your phone?

182 The nun nodded and pointed toward her nightstand. Lexie

took the phone, dragging its long cord and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She knew there was only

one person to call and she wanted to hear his voice for days now. Jake picked up on the first ring. Hello? Bill? Its not, Bill. He didnt say anything and she just heard him breathing. Jake? Where are you? Church bells started to ring, the sound spreading throughout the city, and Lexie talked over them trying to be heard. There is no time for that. news. Is it, Emily? Just know Im alive. I saw the

Are those church bells I hear? Jake, stop it. Is Emily missing?

Yes, but we have the whole damned state looking for her, Lex. Youve got to believe me when I tell you that. Now tell

me where you are, I want to help you. I cant trust anyone right now, Jake, not even you. sorry. Lexie, talk to me. Its me. Im

183 Lexie hung up. She sat there on the bathroom floors cool

white tile until her hair was merely damp instead of soaking wet. Move. Then a single thought broke through her catatonic state, She got up with the phone in hand and ran out to Sister The nun looked up and frowned. I know this is

Margaret.

You were in there for a long time, honey. silly to ask, but is everything alright?

Sister, I need to get back to Texas, and everyones looking for me and I need someone to help me. Sister. Please help me. I need your help,

The nun looked at her for a long time, seeing the tears in Lexies eyes and the phone shaking in her trembling hand. Then,

she got up with the help of her cane as the television buzzed in the background, the news conference long over and a mind-numbing sitcom in its place. She went over to Lexie. They hugged and

Lexie let herself cry in Sister Margarets arms. Sister Margaret rocked her and whispered many words of love in her ear, but the only words Lexie heard were the ones that mattered most. Ill help you.

184

Strike Three

Even a nine-year-old girl could appreciate that in the briefest of moments, a life can change. Emily sat high within

the Ewing house, her hands bound behind her back with a thick cord of rope, and her mouth covered with a strip of gray electrical tape. Her tears streamed down to dampen the tapes

glue so it clumped up at the corners, making her look like a rabid dog foaming at the mouth. Stop crying like some big baby, her mind commanded, but her heart wouldnt listen. She was terrified. Her last happy

moment was playing with her girlfriends in Palmettos woods, before Jenny took her and hid her in the filthy room with one window and a single stool. The floor was cold and hard, and

even though Jenny wrapped her in a blanket, it couldnt stop Emilys shivering. Only one day had gone by since Emily played with her friends, due to her insistence, under the very tree on the very spot where Brian was found. The girls took a macabre pleasure She could still

in it and they played with wild abandon.

185 picture her best friend Tammi Lee scowling at her, as she argued about whether she moved her leg during their game of Red Light, Green Light. They all moved on to a less volatile game, or at

least one that Emily wouldnt nit pick about. They began to play Duck, Duck, Goose. It was a game

everyone agreed they were a little too old for, but they played it regardless. tree. The girls sat in a circle under the shade of the All were

Their manner toward the game was deferential.

quiet as Tammi Lee walked around the circle, placing a hand on each of their heads and whispering the word duck. Even as Emily

sat caught up in the pleasure of her youth, Lexie was never far from her thoughts. Emily was young and knew no one ever would tell her anything, unless she pestered them enough. So she just sat at

her usual post at the top of her stairs, and heard her parents say her friend was on the lam. Lexie wasnt the one they wanted, and as much as Emily respected the law she also knew they werent above making mistakes. If they saw her crying in a dark room, and saw who

took her there, they would know she was right. However, when she was sitting in that circle she didnt sense any foreshadowing of the events to come. Emily was lost So, she

in thought, worrying about things bigger than her.

186 didnt hear when Tammi put a hand on her head, and yelled Goose! Goose! Tammi yelled again and then was off and running around the circle. Emily chased after her and they went round and round. Tammi veered left and into the woods. Tammi looked back over

her shoulder, smiling, and her golden curls were luminous against the dark of the trees. Soon Tammis curls werent in

sight and Emily ran hoping to catch a glimpse, but there was nothing but trees. She stopped in pursuit and yelled, Tammi! Her voice echoed back at her, bouncing off every piece of bark and every leaf, until it sounded as if a thousand girls were screaming out her friends name. unanswered. Emilys call went

Her echoing voice dying out to a mere whisper and

then petering out to nothing. Emily stood there, disoriented and afraid. She was She

unfamiliar with this side of the woods, but began to walk.

came upon a trail with big-knotted roots of trees that tripped her up a bit. Far ahead, there was a glimpse of the rooftop of Her parents never allowed her over to that She longed to go with

the Ewing house.

side of the woods, as much as she begged.

her friends to explore the dusty nooks and crannies of the Ewings house.

187 Emily began to walk an imaginary line, her best friend Tammi Lee forgotten. She heard someone behind her and turned

with a big grin, but she wasnt faced with the sight of her small blond friend. A tall broad woman stood before her wearing Emily

all black, and looked like a pilgrim or an Amish woman.

could tell the woman was once pleasing to look at, but her weight distorted her features. Now the woman was plain and The

indistinguishable from anyone else except for her size. woman stood swaying from side to side and humming.

What are you doing here? Emily asked, realizing they were utterly alone. Youre Emily. Howd you know my name? Lexie told me. Upon hearing her friends name, Emily took a step forward. Where is she? Shes there. Jenny pointed pass the trees, toward the top of the Ewing houses dilapidated roof. Emily stared off into the distance.

Suddenly, it all hit her in an epiphany as bright as the sun-the beige car, the boys; they all led to the woman standing in front of her. Emily turned her head and locked eyes with Jenny,

as fear chilled her spine and knotted her belly. Is this how you got the others? Emily asked.

188 Not quite, Jenny said. Jenny grabbed Emily before she could even move, her size giving no indication of her swiftness. Emily kicked and flailed

in Jennys arms, as a rag was clamped over her mouth and nostrils. She didnt want to breathe and tried to hold her

breath for as long as she could, but the rags pungent medicinal smell invaded Emilys lungs. arms, and was out cold. She woke up in the dark, alone; not knowing what time it was, not knowing how long shed been there. sun was starting to rise. Emily only knew the Soon she slumped into Jennys

Jake found out the truth. the truth as he was able. together.

Well, he found out as much of

It didnt take long to put it all

His buddy Bill from New York did eventually call him. The

The phone call came after his disappointing one with Lexie.

church bells still rang in his ears, the memory of them ringing in time with his phone. The small thing, the single name of Jenny Harper, revealed a fount of information. Either insanity, or arrogance, or both

189 made Jenny use her real name, but she used it nonetheless. The

call with Bill was short and abrupt, which was a shame since he hadnt talked to his buddy in a while. took up the entire call. Jenny Harper was a rich recluse, who for years worked at McFlannigans as a cleaning lady. She seemed to disappear off Yet what Bill told him

the map when Lexie was swallowed up in prison. Now, both of them had emerged and come to Palmetto, one to start over and one to destroy. between them was a mystery. However, whatever bitterness

Jake couldnt work out the

specifics, and he knew they were likely to be more complicated then even he could imagine. part of the cause. Jake walked into Palmettos police station, armed with this reasoning and this reasoning alone. He stepped into the station He did know one thing. David was

just as Emily was staring at the small window in the Ewing House, watching the sun rise in the sky. Jake hoped what he knew was enough for the chief, because there was no stopping the chief the day Charlie limped in. Jake tried not to recoil in horror as he looked at one side of Charlies face, and Charlie spoke through bloodied lips. Jake watched the chiefs face grow as crimson as the blood dripping from Charlies mouth.

190 The chief called his friend, the senator, and Jake could only sit and do nothing. He didnt want to just sit anymore.

The deputies who stood out front nodded at Jake, and he nodded back. Some were brought from a town over to help

Palmettos police search, and to help keep the growing media at bay. The small town was inundated with reporters from all over the country, and they managed to cram themselves in the towns only reputable inn, and every hotel or motel in the surrounding towns. Jake was followed more times than he could count, and sometimes it was just when he was going to Joes for a quick dinner. He spied his own picture on the front page of The New

York Times, his cap pulled low on his brow and a hand held up in front of his eyes. much needed break. The caption read Assistant Chief takes a He was tired of having flash bulbs in his So this is what it was like for

face, and then it struck him.

her, and history is just repeating itself. All his thoughts gave him a heavy head and he strolled into the station to see Charlie with his arm still in a sling, trying to pour a cup of coffee with his one good hand. Jake and gave a nod. Jake walked over to him. Charlie saw

191 Let me help you with that, Charlie. Jake took the steaming pot from him and poured him a cup. Charlie? Yeah, both. Thanks. Sugar? Cream,

Have you seen the chief around? Jake asked, handing Charlie his coffee. Yeah, hes holed up in there. chiefs closed office door. Who? You know her. Charlie gave Jake a look heavy with meaning and Jake couldnt pretend to misunderstand who he meant. suppose to say? is, he thought. No. What am I Charlie pointed toward the

Have you heard from her, Jake?

Yes, I have, and I still dont know where she He knew he couldnt and wouldnt say that.

Im going to talk to the chief, Charlie.

Jakes conversation with the chief was brief and painful leaving both feeling as if they werent heard. Whats going on with you, Jake?

192 It was the same question he was asking himself for weeks and he still didnt have an answer. He showed the chief the

copies of the motels register, told him what Lexie said about a woman she only mentioned once, and then realized how ridiculous it all must sound. Chief, Jake said. conversation. Well its one I want to have, because ever since you started laying down with this woman, youve lost your mind. Lets put aside my relationship with her. I will if you will. I have. I am. My state of mind could be a long

The chief raised an eyebrow. Im trying to, Jake corrected himself. The only sources you have for this Jenny Harper are a fugitive and a moron. Well, yes, but-- Then why are we even discussing this? I think its worth discussing. we should be looking for not Lexie. register. Jenny Harper is the woman I mean you saw the motel

She was here the same week of Brians death and the You cant deny thats worth

same week of Eddies death. something.

193 No, I cant deny thats worth something, but not much. This could be any Jenny Harper. Chief No, stop talking! In all the years Jake knew the chief, the chief had only yelled at him once and that was for drinking the last cup of coffee, and not brewing a fresh pot. laughing. Even then the chief was Shall I round them all up?

Now he wasnt laughing at all.

Jake, have you seen Charlie today? Yes. I dont think hed agree with anything you have said to me. Jake looked down, then to the side, and then back at the chief. The subject of Charlie he didnt have an answer for,

because what happened to Charlie was just one more thing which confused him. He did know what it was like to be scared, and to

feel as if everyone was against you, and thats the only way he could let himself justify what Lexie did to Charlie. Do you blame her? Jake asked and saw the chiefs face turn purple, and suddenly he was nervous about the fact the chief had a gun. Are you the chief began and then took a breath to try to regain his composure. poor boy out there? Are you justifying what happened to that

194 Im just saying people do crazy things when theyre scared. People do crazy things when theyre scared, huh? Yes. Well, Jake if shes so scared, if shes just this babe in the woods, then where the hell is she? all of this? Jake had been a cop close to fifteen years, but in front of the chief he felt like a misbehaving little kid, and his belief in Lexie was cracking around the edges. I dont know, sir. Get out of my office, Jake. The chief swiveled in his chair and turned his back to stare out the window. Jake took in the chiefs bulk and watched Where is she to prove

as he raised his hand to shoo Jake away, without even looking back. him. He left the office, trying not to slam the door behind

Are you the boogeyman? It was the first thing Emily allowed herself to say since she opened her eyes and saw day light, and Jenny took off her

195 tape to get her to eat. Emily refused to eat the split-pea soup She shook her head violently in

Jenny attempted to give her. Jennys large hands. all, across the room.

Jenny hurled the bowl of soup, spoon and After her outburst, Jenny went and sat on

the stool, praying and rocking and humming until Emily spoke. Is that what you think? Thats what all the kids think, Maam. Im not. Then what, um, are you? Just a woman, Jenny replied and went back into the trance she put herself under. However, after a few minutes of humming, Emily felt as if she was going to lose her mind. She hoped maybe if she got to

know this woman, Jenny just might let her go. Maam? Can you talk to me, please, maam?

Jenny continued to rock and hum, and ignored Emilys plea. Maam? Jenny opened her eyes and stared at Emily. What do you want to talk about? Jenny asked. How do you know, Lexie? From a long time ago, before you were born little girl. Did she do something mean to you? Yes, she did. me whole. She killed the one thing that wouldve made

196 Emily stared at Jenny, dumbfounded. She didnt want to

believe Jennys words and it was easy not to, considering, but she kept on talking. Yes. She did. Did she really kill somebody?

Is that why youre keeping me here? Do you read the bible, Emily? Only when my mom makes us go to church, Emily replied, thrown off by the question. The book of Leviticus, Chapter 24 states, the Lord spoke unto Moses saying and he that killeth any man surely be put to death. And he that killeth a beast shall make it good, beast for beast. And if a man killeth a beast shall make it good, beast And if a man causes a blemish in his neighbor, as he Breach for breach, eye

for beast.

hath done, so shall it be done to him.

for eye, tooth for tooth; as he hath caused a blemish in a man, so shall it be done to him again. for a tooth, a child for a child. An eye for an eye, a tooth Its no different. These

sacrifices were made for the same reason, for my vengeance. Sacrifices? Emily asked and she saw her fate laid out before her. Yes. Am I going to be a sacrifice? You are. Emily sat there

Jenny closed her eyes and began to hum.

with Jennys words putting a chill around her heart, and she

197 began to weep. Her weeping blended together with Jennys

incessant humming to form a morose song.

Are there bodies in there? No, youre the only body. gonna make you an air hole. It looks uncomfortable, but Im

Youre gonna have an air hole. The

Lexie stared out at a boat with coffins for its cargo.

wind whipped everything around on the Chelsea pier, and she was surprised her feet remained on the ground. there. Jackie brought her

She was a tall skinny black girl with the cheekbones of She stood

a model and the scarred knuckles of a prizefighter. off to the side smoking.

Lexie stared at the young guy named Frankie, who moved as fast as he talked. He had a tattoo of a winged angel on the

back of his neck, and hoped to calm her with the promise of an air hole in a box reserved for people who werent breathing any more anyway. Im not good with tight spaces, Lexie said. Hey, I get no one wants to be inside one of those things until its that time, but its all you got.

198 I know, I know. Make the air hole. Frankie went to his car to get the tools he brought with him. It was three oclock in the morning and the few people,

who were around besides them, werent caring about three people hovering around a docked boat. The underbelly of New York City,

the people who crawled out only after the sun went down, surrounded them. Lexie remembered that once they were the only

people she knew, and after fifteen years she was back among them. She was starting to think she never really left.

Yet, if it werent for Sister Margaret she would have no options at all. After the nun hugged her tight, she left Lexie Jackie gave her some

to dry her tears and brought back Jackie.

clothes, and then told her she would wait downstairs. Whats she talking about? Lexie asked. Shes the best I can do, and shell help get you out of here. I guarantee you.

Thank you. Lexie got dressed in the jeans and parka she was given, and turned to Sister Margaret, who was sitting in her chair just as she had found her. You better go dear, Sister Margaret said. I dont know what to say. Then dont say anything.

199 Lexie left her and she knew it would probably be the last time she ever saw Sister Margaret. Now she walked over to

Jackie, who sat on the docks with her legs dangling over the edge. Can I have one of those? I never

Jackie handed her a cigarette and lit it for her. asked you, what did you do? Its not what I did. Jackie nodded.

Its what they think I did.

Since she was a McFlannigans girl, Lexie

knew she probably had demons of her own, and that was all she would need to say to explain. So, why are you helping me? Im not helping you, Im helping Sister Margaret. Thanks anyway. If they want you so bad, why are you going back? To save a little girl. How do you know its not too late? I think Id know. They both looked up to see Frankie walking towards them. Are you ready? Frankie asked when he reached them, and he casually swung a bolt cutter in one hand.

200

Sounds like Charlie, Jake thought and he couldnt believe it took him so long to figure it out. It was close to dawn. He

still couldnt get the conversation, he had earlier with Charlie, out of his mind. It gave him faith in a woman he was

scared he was losing faith in. He lay in bed with sheets that still smelled like Lexie, and in spite of all the frustration and fatigue he felt, Jake smiled because the chief was wrong. He walked out of the

chiefs office knowing he and his friend had reached a crossroad. Jake never thought to question the chiefs The chief was

authority, and never thought he would want to.

right about one thing, Lexie did have him by the heart as well as the cock, but it didnt mean the chief was right about everything else. Howd it go in there? Charlie asked as Jake walked out of the station, and he followed behind. Look at my face. Not well I take it. Well he kicked me out of his office, so no not well. They stood looking out at the trees, Jake scanning for any reporters hiding and waiting to jump out to document yet another of his breaks. He longed for all of it to be over and done

with, Emily to be found alive, for Lexie to return, and for

201 Palmetto to return to the idyllic town it was once. His

emotions got the better of him, and he began to talk. Charlie, this is all so fucked up and nobodys listening anymore. People are just scared or tired or both. We got all

these poor schmos to come over and help us and we dont know shit. We dont know where Lexie is or if Emilys dead, or if I know what the Chief thinks, and the other You think Im in love Maybe youre

theyre both dead.

deputies think, and hell maybe you think.

with her, so logic cant win up against the heart. right. Maybe you are.

Maybe Ive got so wrapped up in her, That

that I couldnt see everything she told me was a lie. shes this monster. dont.

I dont want to believe it, because well I

Then I look at you, Charlie, and part of me is starting

to agree. Charlie stared at the ground and shrugged with his one good shoulder. tomorrow. God the day you walked in the station, Charlie. so pale. You were in so much pain. You were The doctor said I could take this sling off

Your shoulder looked like

it hurt like a son of a bitch. Its not so bad. my pants on this time. Right, Jake said, laughing. He remembered Charlie Not as bad as last time. At least I had

telling him that story at the Annual Policemans Ball, over many

202 drinks, which was the best thing about being there. Jake looked

at his friend who still hadnt lifted his gaze to meet Jakes own, and he watched deputies walk by them and tip their hats in greeting. He realized Lexie didnt struggle at all. Charlie

set her free. Charlie, she mustve fought you like a hell cat. Not really. You let her go didnt you? You know Im not supposed to do that, Jake. I know what youre not supposed to do. Ive done a lot of

things that I wasnt suppose to do, it doesnt change the fact that I did them. Charlie. What if I did? What would you do? Did you let her go? Just answer the question,

You havent answered my question, so I couldnt say what I would do. What do you think? I think you did. bullshit. Jake, I know Im not in the position to ask you any favors, but can we just not have this conversation right here? Lets take a walk, Charlie. They walked into the trees toward the same trail Lexie took to run to freedom, and began to walk along it. Once the woods I think that whole story you told us was

203 secured the two of them, all pretenses were dropped. They stood

with the shadows from the trees playing across their faces making them look like warriors preparing for battle, covered in war paint and aggression. It was a pretty good story wasnt it? Charlie grinned at him. It really was, but I shouldve known. Charlie, I shouldve known. Knowing you,

Howd she do it?

Youre walking along how she did it. This trail? Yeah, I told her to run, and she did. Right towards the highway. Jake smiled, knowing she hitched. Seeing exactly what she did in his head. Are you going to tell the

What are you going to do, Jake? chief? What do you think?

You think Im going to tell him you I like you too much

aided and abetted a known murder suspect? Charlie to tell him that. Im sorry, Jake. No youre not, and dont be.

Ive done some stuff when I Stuff Im not particularly

was in New York, when I was in vice. proud of.

Weve all walked that line once or twice, Charlie.

Once or twice, and maybe someday I can tell you about it, but being sorry wont change it. It wont change what you did

204 either. So, dont even say it. Besides the Chiefs wrong. I

love him, but hes wrong. Yeah, Jake. He is.

Howd you fuck up your jaw, Charlie? Well before I popped my shoulder, I just punched myself with a bunch of those quarters I keep in the glove compartment for laundry, tolls, and such. Jesus, Charlie, youre nuts. Yeah I kind of am, Jake. Jake hugged Charlie, trying to mind his shoulder. you, Charlie. Thank

Thank you for helping her when I couldnt. Youve never hugged me before. What did

Okay, wow, Jake. she do to you?

I showed her my scars, Charlie. she didnt turn away.

I showed her my scars and

The two men stood among the leaves and the shadows, knowing in Jakes single sentence, thats all anybody wants. The image

of Charlies face, tattooed by shadows, was what stood out in Jakes mind as he lay in bed watching the sun come up.

205

The Last Stand, Part One

Oh my God. I know. It was the night before Thanksgiving, and Lexie stood at Miss Melleys back door. She was covered in dirt and leaves

with her cheeks lacerated by thorns from Miss Melleys roses, and Miss Melley stared at her in shock. Lexie was curled up

among the roses in Miss Melleys garden for about six hours. She crawled out only after she heard the familiar chug-a-long motor of Miss Melleys blue truck pulling into the garage. Get inside, Miss Melley said and pulled her inside the warm house. Lexie watched Miss Melley run around the kitchen like mad, pulling all the curtains closed. It was so good to see her that

she almost burst into tears, but instead she asked, Miss Melley, what are you doing?

206 Dont go near any of the windows. everywhere. There are reporters

I dont know if theyre still out there, but Im Miss Melley turned to her. Are you

not taking any chances. okay? No.

You know shes missing dont you? Yes. What are you going to do? I dont know. Whatever help you need, you know Ill give it. I know. Hungry? No, Im tired, Miss Melley. I bet you are. you. Lexie sat down at the kitchen table and plunged her hands into what was left of her hair, and then she told Miss Melley everything. She told her how she hitchhiked back to New York, Im so tired.

Sit down and tell me what happened to

about Sister Margaret, about Jenny, and about the pain of one event that seemed as if it would go on for a lifetime. Jackie and Frankie placed her in a coffin, which she laid in for so long it was starting to feel as if it were her own. Before they closed the lid, Jackie placed a switchblade on her

207 chest and said to her This has saved my life a couple of times, maybe itll save yours. As Lexie told Miss Melley her story, she played with the switchblade, flipping it open and closed as the blade shone in the light. The boat took off as soon as sunlight started to pour in the two air holes she was given. She felt them moving over the When she

ocean, and she caught her first real sleep in days.

woke up, Frankie was lifting off the lid, whispering for her to hurry and get out, and told her they were in Florida. She

stepped out of the coffin and looked up to see seagulls circling above. She stood taking in huge breaths of salt air, feeling

the wind and heat on her face. This is far as I can take you, Frankie said. Where in Florida? Lexie asked. Were in Miami and no offense, but you dont smell too good. We should get you washed up.

You got a shower? We got a hose. Everybody else is down below eating lunch.

You clean up and Ill sneak you some food. He showed her where the hose was, and left so she could wash up in peace. hose herself down. Lexie peeled her clothes off and began to The water was ice-cold causing her nipples

208 to harden and her body to shiver, but Frankie was right. stunk like death and she was starving. Frankie returned as if on cue. Not really. She stood in panties and little else, and even though Lexie couldnt see Frankie from where she was standing, she smelled the food he had with him. I have some clothes and food, which do you want first? Both. Frankie laughed and his laugh was the high cackle of a hyena, and then he appeared with his eyes closed in an attempt at chivalry. He held a heaping plate of baked beans and franks Are you decent? She

in one hand, and a thermal shirt and dungarees in the other. She took the clothes and quickly slipped them on. You can open your eyes, Frankie. He did and Lexie took the plate of food from him and began to eat with relish. She got halfway through the plate in about

two minutes and looked up to see Frankie staring at her. Jesus, you havent eaten a thing have you? he asked. You want me to get you another plate? No and yes. He grinned at her and disappeared once more. Lexie sat

there on the upper deck as the boat gently rocked back and forth, and she ate and looked up at the sky. She didnt stay

209 there for long. Frankie eventually came back and gave her When Lexie was done, she stood up, Thanks for

another plate of food.

brushed her jeans off and said, Thanks, Frankie.

everything, and next time you see Jackie tell her the same thing. I gotta get going, Frankie. Im running out of time.

Whats next? Frankie asked.

What was next? Miss Melley asked bringing Lexies mind back into the kitchen where she sat. Lexie was so caught up in

her own story; she was back on that boat and smelling the salt air. I hitched a ride with some Cubans all the way into Texas. But how did you get around town without any one seeing you? You mean besides the blonde hair? Luck, Miss Melley, and

I dont know how much of it I have left. You dont need luck. You have me.

And Im happy to have you. They smiled at each other, and Lexie realized how her love for Miss Melley, as well as Jake, snuck up on her too. Lexie

looked around the kitchen bathed in moonlight, and inhaled the

210 scent of jasmine that was so strong it permeated through the front door, and through the entire house. Upon smelling the She

syrupy sweet scent, Lexie knew Palmetto was now her home. wanted it to stay that way. Have they been here looking for me? Lexie asked. More times than I can count. police officers in my life. Do you think theyll do a sweep tonight? You never know, but I say we should be prepared. worry I know where to hide you if need be. back. I just didnt know when. Has Jake been here? Yes. Hes lost weight. He misses you.

Ive never seen so many

Dont

I knew youd come

He told me so.

Are you saying that to make me feel bad or make me feel good, Miss Melley? Neither. Im just telling you whats true. Now you tell

me something true. What do you want to know? Did you really do what everyone says you did to, Charlie? Did you hurt him? Lexie knew this was a question that she wouldnt answer. She wanted to protect one of the only few people who stuck by her, and she thanked him and God for it. Let them think what

211 they want to think, but she knew Miss Melley was smarter than that. You know by you not saying anything youre giving me an answer. balls. So am I. Lets set up a bed for you. No! Lexie rose out of her chair. searching for her. Miss Melley pushed her back down, and held her hard by the shoulders. Youre in no condition to look for that girl! If Ive got to start Miss Melley smiled. Im glad Charlie got some

anything youll end up getting caught by one of those hundreds of police officers dying to get their hands on you. Miss Melley I dont want to hear it! Now, I know Im not your mother, Emily is alive, I can

but Im going to tell you what to do now. feel it and I know you can.

You will be of no use to her if

youre sitting in a jail cell in Palmettos police station, because if you get caught that is definitely where youll end up and you know it. So, whats it going to be?

212

It was dawn of Thanksgiving Day.

Jake stood in the middle It looked like

of Palmettos woods as a plane passed overhead.

a silver streak in the sky, and sunlight bounced off it turning it into a shooting star in the light of day. His gaze followed Tahiti?

its path and he wondered where they were all headed. The Bahamas? It didnt matter.

He just knew he was feeling he

rather be anywhere but there.

Jake stood with the sun rising in

front of him and he sensed everything in the woods waking up. For a moment he was up in that airplane, and not desperately looking for a little girl he feared he would never see again. Jake stared at the rooftop of the Ewing house, which He had checked the

seemed to call out to him in the distance. Ewing house a thousand times.

On many of these trips, Charlie accompanied him and never complained no matter the hour. They found nothing but a

tattered and yellowed copy of The Diary of Anne Frank, with belongs to Penny Ewing scrawled on the inside cover. this time he chose to go it alone. However,

If it were up to him he

would be in New Jersey with the smell of his mothers stuffing making his mouth water. He called his parents that morning, waking up his mother and her voice was cracked and hoarse from lack of use. Jake was

full of apologies, and was sorry both for the call at the early

213 hour and for not being there. Of course his mother understood,

because his reason was all over the news. Jakes brothers and their wives, along with his dad, would have to enjoy the fruits of his mothers labor without him. Emily was missing and there would be no celebrating. People

would be settling down to watch football games, harangue their parents, and play with their grandchildren, and Emily wouldnt be among them. The day before he went by the Citrons house to try to give some comfort, which was impossible, but it was his job. Daniel

sat in stone-faced silence as he held Nancys hand and she wept. They asked him the same question they asked ever since Emily went missing, Have you found her yet? He could only give the same pathetic reply, No. Then Nancy looked at him, her eyes red from her tears, and asked a question he didnt expect. Do you think shes dead?

The silence before Jake answered seemed to go on forever, and he knew nothing but the truth would satisfy. Hope was all he had, and all he had to give. Yet, all of Jakes instincts kept leading him to the Ewing house. They found nothing, he found nothing, but he knew she They were there, Emily and Jenny. Everyone figured I hope not.

was there.

Emily was dead, including her own mother, including his own men, but Jake wouldnt let himself think that. He refused to let the

214 possibility enter his mind, of finding Emily laid out at the base of a tree. Her fiery red hair matching the color of the

autumn leaves that fell. Jake walked closer and closer to the big house in the woods that everyone was terrified and mystified by. He knew he would

find something other than the emptiness of the house and its forgotten furniture, and that was the real reason for his phone call to his beloved family. holiday. It had little to do with the

He knew what he would find wouldnt be good.

Why havent you killed me, yet? Emily stared at Jenny, who remained on her stool, still reading the Bible. Emily drifted in and out of sleep, and every Jenny

time she woke, Jennys visage was there to greet her. seemed to be a machine.

She didnt need food or water or sleep,

but was fueled by her fury. Its not time yet. You should eat something. It was

A cold bowl of tomato soup sat in front of Emily. slowly congealing.

As unappetizing as it looked, and as much as

215 she feared and mistrusted Jenny, her stomach couldnt help but agree. She should eat something.

When is it time? Emily asked. When she comes. How do you know shell come? I am, but you. Shell come. They both heard the front door creak open. The sound of it After all no one knows where

shimmied up the stairs and floated underneath the door for both of them to hear. Someones here, Emily said, and did her best to hide her delight. She heard the door open and close for days now, and a flurry of footsteps and a chorus of shouts. Men were there,

thats all Emily knew. Men going back and forth and up and down, and searching. Searching for her.

Jenny would tape her mouth shut each and every time she heard anyone enter the house. mouth free from any binding. However, before Jenny left the room she said, Dont even try to scream, or else Ill kill you now, and anyone else who is out there. Emily heard the doors lock click shut, and all she could do was start to eat the bowl of soup in front of her. She ate Yet, this time Jenny left Emilys

216 by bowing her head and lapping up the soup, like a dog at its water dish, and she tried to resign herself to the fact it might be her last meal.

He was a rookie again, being mindful of his blind spots and trying to hold his gun steady. Jakes heart was beating so

fast, if he didnt know better he would think he suffered from an arrhythmia. It seemed as if sounds were coming from

everywhere, just like the night he explored the halls with Lexie as a lookout below. He crept up the front stairs, checking each floor as he went and passing many open doors, with no sign of Emily. Jake

reached the third floor and entered the infamous room of the two little girls, who saw what no one else could. many times the past few days. He stood there so

He didnt know what kept drawing The

him there, but he found himself staring at the bookcase.

shelves were lined with dust, and the few books that remained had cracked spines and yellowed pages and were ready to tumble off. Jake stared and stared and then he heard something. He

heard weeping.

217 At first he thought it was just his imagination and the hairs stood up on the back of his neck, because he was the only one in the room. is it a ghost? The thought was insane and he wouldve laughed if he wasnt so freaked out. the bookcase. Jake, get a grip, he muttered. He walked slowly over to the bookcase and pressed his ear up against it. He heard the weeping, and as he leaned more of He backed He couldve sworn the weeping was coming from Yet there it was: a childs weeping. Jesus,

his weight up against the bookcase, it began to move. away, thinking about the legend that wouldnt die.

Jake thought of the tattered book they found of the heroic girl, who hid from the horrors of a world at war, and dreamed of a better life in a small cramped attic. time ago when he was a little kid. Jake almost fell to his knees. revolves! He read the book a long

Then insight hit him so hard The sonafabitch

The bookcase!

The goddamn thing revolves!

He ran to the bookcase and began to push it screaming, Emily! Emily!

A faint reply echoed back, Jake!?! He started pushing full force and as the bookcase began to slowly revolve, Emilys voice became clearer. Jake! Hurry! I dont know where she is!

218 Emily, Im coming! you! What happened next was a shame, because Jake knew he was a good cop. In fact, he was a great cop, with medals for They were medals he would never I swear to God, Em, Im coming for

exemplary conduct to prove it. show, but he had them.

All his life Jake was careful, and thats why he was plagued with dreams of a dead pregnant woman from long ago. His

job taught him to compartmentalize his fears and his misery, but he never was able to let himself come back from that. childs life perhaps he could save another. He took a

He realized his

reasons to save Emily were parallel to Lexies own, and he felt closer to knowing the woman he was longing to reach, and only glimpsed in tiny moments. This bevy of thoughts happened in a split second of time. It was one moment, just one, where he wasnt completely aware and strayed from his lifelong behavior of vigilance. There was

only one moment before it, when he found his gun aiming at a future mother. It didnt matter, because one moment was all Jenny needed. He felt it before he saw it, and it was quick and cut through his flesh. Jake looked down to see his blood pouring out of

him, groaned and fell back into Jennys arms, and the bookcase slammed back into the wall.

219 I know you, Jenny hissed into his ear and shoved the fireplace poker deeper into him. She pulled it out of him with

such ferocity, that it felt like she was tearing out his insides. He howled and his gun slipped out of his hand as he fell. His finger on reflex pulled the trigger again and again and again, and he tried to shoot at anything he could. He hoped, to

no avail, one of those bullets would go right through Jennys heart. Jakes mind breezed past the events of his existence, and some memories came back to him from before he could talk. was his first step, his first word, and his first kiss. There

He

remembered getting poison ivy as a cub scout, after going into a patch of it on a dare. There was his first love and his first

heartbreak, and the day his grandfather died, which was the day of Jakes college graduation. He saw his brothers laughing as they hung him upside down by his ankles from the roof of the house they grew up in, and then accidentally dropped him. His brothers were beaten for

their discretion, and at the age of seven the incident left Jake with a broken leg. Then there was his first arrest, which was a bunch of skater kids who decided to graffiti their tag on the side of his police car.

220 Lastly, it was Lexies face he saw big as day and he smelled the scent of her skin. as if he was right beside her. The memory was so real he felt Jakes last thought, before his Then his eyes closed and the

eyes closed was Oh God Im dying. pain didnt seem as bad after that.

221

The Last Stand, Part Two

Lexies eyes flew open and all around her was black, except for the few slivers of light coming through the wooden slats up above. Sweat poured down her back, and her hands were clenched She

so tightly, that her nails dug into the flesh of her palms.

lay underneath Miss Melleys garden in a bomb shelter she never knew was there. How come you never showed me this before? Lexie asked

Miss Melley the previous night, after Miss Melley cleared a tangle of vines away and the cloying smell of roses was all around them.

222 There never was a need to, Miss Melley answered, flashlight in hand. Its only for emergencies. emergency. When did you build this? Lexie asked, peering down into the darkness at the narrow set of stairs that seemed to lead down into nothing. I didnt, Harold did. but he had flat feet. He always wanted to be in the army, This is an

He read everything about being in the One morning I woke up, and he was

line of battle, any battle. out here digging.

I asked him what he was doing and he told me.

I laughed and said I didnt think Palmetto was going to get bombed any time soon. know. He just shrugged, and said You never I figured whats the harm?

So, I let him build it.

Now, Im glad its here. So am I. Well, theres a cot set up down there, and plenty of blankets, water, even freeze-dried and canned food. worry you wont need any of that. breakfast in the morning. Thank you, Miss Melley. Then Lexie went down underground, and Miss Melley shut the wooden door behind her. Shed been in the dark a lot the past Now, she was beginning to see But dont

Ill make a nice good

few days, in more ways than one. her way out of it.

She sat there thinking about the last time

223 she saw Emily, the weekend of the torrential rain and the beige car. She remembered Emilys protests at being dragged away from

the spot where Brian once lay, and the leaves were still crushed in the shape of his body. When Emily was determined to do something, there was no stopping her, and Lexie was shocked she could that day. Yet,

Emily was stubborn and the girl surely found a way to do exactly what she wanted. As Lexie lay in the dark, she pictured Emily

with a troop of her friends marching out to those woods to investigate. Emilys love of things savory and sinister was

insatiable, and with that thought alone, it all came together. Lexie sat straight up in the dark. Shes at the Ewing house, Lexie whispered. Even as Miss

Melleys voice entered her mind, reminding her of Jake searching there and finding nothing, Lexie knew she was right. Lexie was a woman, who learned to follow her instinct only after years of doing the very opposite and getting nowhere. Rationally she knew she should sleep and think on it, so she did. Yet, when the door to her hideaway opened, and Miss

Melleys face appeared along with the scent of bacon, the Ewing house still bloomed large in her mind. Hungry? Miss Melley asked. God, yes.

224 Then come on up, and make it quick. reporter or two. Miss Melley took Lexies hand as she emerged and they ran into the house as fast as they could. Lexie ate quickly from Miss Melley watched I thought I saw a

the plate of bacon and eggs she was given. her with a great deal of curiosity.

Why do you have that look on your face? Miss Melley asked. Lexie looked up at her, unaware of what her face revealed. She almost didnt want to tell Miss Melley what she was thinking ever since she crawled down underground. out. I know where she is, Miss Melley. Where? The Ewing house. You sound as crazy as Penelope Wheelers girl. What do you mean? When they found her, she was babbling about some lady in the haunted house. She kept saying the lady in black. Yet, then she let it

Well out of the mouths of babes, Miss Melley. They stared at each other, and Lexie saw acceptance grow in Miss Melleys eyes. you? You think that little girl is right, dont

225 Yes. I do, and I need your help. I cant do this alone.

Lexie knew what she said was something she shouldve accepted long ago, when it came to everything. Melley? Do you even have to ask? Will you help me, Miss

Emily heard Jakes gun go off, and then there was nothing. There were no sounds at all, and that scared her more than the sound of the stray bullets lodged into only God knew where. Yet, when she saw Jenny appear holding a bloody fireplace poker in one hand and a gun in the other, Emily knew the outcome. Hes dead isnt he? Emily asked as tears began to well up in her eyes. Yes. He is. Emily began to cry in earnest, mourning her friend, who was noble enough to try to find her. given up. Why? Why would you do something like that? Emily wailed. She knew other people wouldve

He got in the way, Jenny said.

226 Jenny dropped the fireplace poker with a clang and it rolled behind her and down the steps. There was a stack of

candles tucked in a corner of the room, and Jenny went over to them and placed them all around, lighting each one. Did you keep all the other kids here? candlelight flickered all around her. No. Then why me? Because youre special. Im special? Youre special to her, Jenny answered, barely acknowledging her and thats when Emily realized something. How come you dont call me by my name? call me, Emily? Because itll make it easier, Jenny said and they both knew what she was referring to. Jenny left the room locking the door behind her, and Emily sat there as new tears started to form, and then a voice boomed in her brain. Emily, you have to get out of here, or youll end Her survival instinct kicked in, and How come you wont Emily asked, as

up just like the others.

she began to move her tiny hands within the confines of the knotted rope.

227 #

The last thing Jake saw before he blacked out completely was Jennys massive frame leaning over him, and she peered down and checked him for any signs of life. So, Jake played dead, She

holding his breath as Jenny picked him up like a rag doll. half-carried him and half-dragged him down the steps of the Ewing house.

Halfway down the last flight leading to the living He rolled

room, she just threw him down the rest of the way.

trying not to cry out in pain, and rolled right near the very fireplace pokers that were his downfall. Now, Jake lay in darkness and he knew it was a miracle he was alive. He heard his breathing, and it was raspy to his His eyelids fluttered

ears, and tasted his blood in his throat.

open and closed, making what he saw flash before his eyes in quick bursts. Nothing was visible, save for the things exposed

by moonlight that shone in from the windows, lighting up the floor in four big bright spots. sight. It was true, he couldnt see, but he felt everything. He Everything else was beyond

felt the pain that shot through his body, and the bugs crawling over him, the rats nipping at his legs, and most of all the frustration of trying to be a hero and failing miserably.

228 He lay there frozen in his own inadequacy and in a pool of his own blood. The last time Jake was on his back and feeling

his life slip away from him it was due to his own loss of hope. He wasnt going to lose hope now, even as he felt his empty holster. Dammit, that bitch has my gun, he thought as he

coughed up another bit of blood. However, Jenny didnt have something more important than any weapon and it was hidden in the inner pocket of his jacket. Jake reached for it and as his hand wrapped around it, he breathed such a sigh of relief that he almost began to cough again. It sat in his hand, a tiny technological miracle. It

was his cell phone. Jake called the only person he knew could help, and after three rings Charlie picked up. Hello this is Palmetto police station, Officer Charles Wood speaking. Charlie? hear me? Barely, Jake. Why are you whispering? Whats up? Shes Charlie, its me, Jake whispered. Can you

Charlie, Im hurt bad and I need help and back up. here, Charlie. Im at the--

Then his cell phone cut out.

229

The sun was setting and from Lexies vantage point, the tops of the trees and the buildings were all there were to see. Lexie stood in Miss Melleys attic surrounded by old pieces of furniture and boxes of Harolds clothes, and she held a flare gun at her side. Far down below, a block away, painters were They worked diligently; unaware of the

working on a house.

trouble brewing and unaware of one girl vanished into thin air. What are you doing up here? Lexie looked over her shoulder to see Miss Melley standing in the doorway, with a pair of binoculars around her neck. Whats with the binoculars, Miss Melley? Theyre great for spotting photographers. believe how well they can hide. a tree in the yard next door. found Harolds flare gun. Yeah, yeah I did. We shouldnt waste any time, Miss Melley said, wringing her hands together. I know, Miss Melley. Of all people I know. How long have You wouldnt

Once, I found one hanging up in I see you

It was unbelievable.

those painters been painting out there? A week now. All of us neighbors finally got them to stop The noise was unbearable.

painting into the night.

230 So, youve met them? Youve talked with them? Sometimes I bring

Yes, and theyre a nice group of men. them over iced tea. Why?

Because I need an outfit other than this. suspect an old lady of being a thief. What are you suggesting?

No one would

Im suggesting you bring them over a little something and in exchange you bring something back. Miss Melley smiled and said, Ill make some iced tea. It seemed like forever until Miss Melley returned with a pair of coveralls and a painters cap tucked under her arm. As

Lexie waited she continued to survey all she saw and her gaze settled on the rooftop of the Ewing house. She looked down at

the flare gun in her hand, and a plan began to form in her mind. When Miss Melley returned, Lexie looked at her and said, How long would it take the police to get to the Ewing house? About twenty minutes. Why, baby?

You know you can see everything from up here including the Ewing house. Yes, I dont come up here much, except to stuff it with more clutter. You should probably get away from the window.

Youre right. Lexie stepped away from the window, and Miss Melley entered and gave her the clothes and cap. How am I going to know when youre at the Ewing house?

231 Thats what I need this flare gun for, and Ill signal you when I get there. And what do the police have to do with all this? I want you to call them when you see my signal. said, I cant do this alone. Like I

Charlie ran at top speed down the five blocks it took to get from his parked patrol car to Miss Melleys house. He was

free of his sling, his shoulder finally in working order, but he still didnt seem to be running fast enough. As he ran, an image of Lexie running towards the woods blazed through his mind. desperation. was there. He shouldve told the Chief where he was going and he knew it. Yet, even he had to admit, the Chief was acting crazy about It He imagined he felt her same

All Charlie knew was that Jake was hurt, and she

all this, and Charlie wasnt sure he trusted him anymore. was a fact that saddened him.

Charlie ran out of the station like a bat out of hell, and with all the commotion no one noticed. He reached Miss Melleys

232 front door, out of breath and red in the face, and began to hammer on the door like mad. his mouth water. His frantic knocking got no response, but something made him look up, and he saw Miss Melley in the attic peering through her binoculars. Miss Melley! Charlie shouted. Miss Melley, come down! The smell of roasted turkey made

Charlie yelled so much and for so long that his throat was beginning to feel sore, but Miss Melley finally noticed him. She hesitated before he saw her disappear from view, and then the front door flew open. Charlie, what are you doing here? Miss Melley asked and looked exasperated. No, no sweep. Youre not doing another sweep are you? Miss Melley, can I come in?

Any reporters follow you? They tried. I need your help. Jakes hurt.

Miss Melley immediately let him gain entry and Charlie followed her into the kitchen, as he talked all the while in a steady staccato. Miss Melley, he called me and his phone cut

off before I could hear where he was, and he said shes here. Emily, Lexie? I dont know.

Charlie stopped talking as he spied two dirty plates in the sink, and two empty coffee cups on the kitchen counter. that, Miss Melley? Whats

233 What does it look like, Charlie? Cups and plates.

Miss Melley turned off the oven, and took the turkey out as she flashed Charlie a condescending look. She felt her pulse

race with the thought of Jake injured and alone. Ive seen plates before, Miss Melley, but there are two of them. Im not allowed to have company, Charlie? about, Jake. He looked at her gravely. Who? You know if shes here I need her help, as much as your own. Jakes hurt and Im not sure where to look. Why dont you try the Ewing house? She who? Now, youre the one playing games, Charlie. cocked a single eyebrow at him. Miss Melley She did. Is she here? Now tell me

She doesnt know about, Jake,

but she did go to search the Ewing house to find Emily. Are you serious? As serious as cancer, Miss Melley replied. Thats when they both saw the flare shoot through the air.

234

At Last

Lexies third flare died and the setting sun was a distant memory. The sky was the blue-black of a coalmine or the depths The only light in Lexies view was from the moon up

of a cave. above.

There was a strange glow coming from an upper portion of

the decaying house, reflected in a tiny square of window, which normally would be barely visible. It was now or never and she ran across the clearing with her coveralls glowing in the moonlight, and crept quietly into the house. Lexie stood in the dark with only her flashlight to guide her. She heard breathing, it was shallow but nonetheless real.

It was the breathing of the injured, of someones fading life, and she clicked on her flashlight preparing for the worse. She waited to see Emily come into view and she did see red, but it wasnt the red of the coppery hair Emily possessed. was blood and it was everywhere. It

Her flashlight followed the

235 crimson drops, some were as big and round as quarters and made their own map, which led to a Knicks cap in the middle of the floor. Oh, Jesus, Lexie said. She wildly waved her flashlight, picking up Jakes cap and following the blood. went. The drops became darker and larger as she

She fell to her knees as she slipped in all the blood,

her pants darkening instantly, and the bottom half of her became as red as a rose. She slid across the floor and right into the Lexie crawled

fireplace next to Jakes barely breathing body.

out of the ashes, slapping roaches off her arms and spiders off her face. Jake! Oh, God, Jake! she whispered as she saw him

slumped over and against the wall. She moved her flashlight over his body, his face was pale, his eyes were closed, his chest was hardly moving, and all his blood horrified her. face. In desperation, she began slapping his

Honey, please wake up!

At last, Jakes eyes opened, and his gaze was soft and out of focus, but then it sharpened and he was looking right at her. He revealed his familiar slow-to-form smile. Yes. What happened to your hair? He reached up and put a hand Lexie?

on her cheek and whispered, I was worried about you.

236 Lexie laughed in spite of herself. Of all things it was Im

like him to be worrying about someone other than him.

fine, she whispered back, and tried to fight back tears as she grasped his hand in his own. Yes. Did Jenny do this?

Im not having a good day, he said and tried his His grin was a bloody mess.

best to smile.

He was barely audible, his hand was trembling in her grasp, and for the first time she was the one that had to quell his tremors. God, Jake, this is my fault. I promise. Tell me what happened. Im going to fix everything

That bitch sliced me open before I could get to Emily. Im sorry, Lex, I tried. No, dont do that. your fault. It still feels shitty. We have to get you out of here. Lexie tried to drag him and pull him up into her arms. He Its not your fault. None of this is

let out a howl of protest, and it made her fall back in dismay. Jake! Im sorry! Dont move me! Im sorry. I just want you safe. Jake, help me, what do

you want me to do? Leave me here.

237 Lexie shook her head. I cant do that. I wont do that.

You can and you will! Jake replied, his voice for a moment coming back to full volume. thing now. Emily is the most important

You cant save everybody, and believe me I know.

Help her, and then if Im still alive, help me. Lexie stared into the eyes of the second man she ever loved, and saw that he was dying, and she also saw that he was right. I know youre right, Jake.

I know it too. Lexie smoothed his hair away from his sweat-laden brow and gently placed his cap back on his head. the police and theyre on their way. Good. I just hope its not too late, Jake whispered, and I had Miss Melley call

she knew he was addressing his fate as well as Emilys. It wont be. Where is she?

Emily is upstairs behind the bookcase. What? Theres a bookcase that revolves in the little girls room on the third floor, Jake said and took a ragged breath. sounds crazy, but its true. It does sound crazy, but if thats where I have to go, thats where I have to go. Jake grabbed her arm before she had a chance to fully rise. Wait, Lex, Jenny has my gun. Do you have anything? It

238 Lexie lifted up her pants leg, exposing the switchblade tucked into her sock. nothing. He nodded and said, Thats better than

Do what you can and get her out of here.

She kissed him, and he kissed her back with all he could muster, and she murmured, I love you. He let out a small sigh of appreciation and smiled and said, I know. Me too. Go.

She left him and headed upstairs.

Emily saw the three flares shoot up in the air and pass the tiny window of her prison, and she knew it was Lexie come to save her. Jennys back was to the single window, but a smile Jenny stopped her humming and she said,

spread across her face. Shes here.

How Jenny innately knew of Lexies presence was a mystery. Emily silently hoped Lexie was prepared for what she would be walking into, but it didnt matter. If Emily could help it, she

would be long gone and running to help Lexie by getting the police.

239 Emilys hands were almost unbound, and she hoped Jenny didnt notice her increased squirming. the way of her death and her survival. However, Jenny was too enthralled by Jakes gun to notice anything else. She stood pointing it at phantom victims and Her laughter was creepier than her Only one knot stood in

laughing all the while.

malice and when she left the room, Emily was glad to be rid of her. She twisted her hands together, her wrists already beyond raw and chafed. Come on! Emily grunted through gritted teeth.

Oh God, please! Then the knot loosened and her hands slipped free.

Lexie was faced with a labyrinth in the form of a long winding stairway after she pushed the bookcase with all her might. She wondered what Jenny looked like after all these

years, and if somehow Jenny looked the same, frozen in time just like the image in Lexies head. Her flare gun was tucked into

her belt loops and the one beam of light from her flashlight only revealed a sliver of image at a time.

240 She passed by a fireplace poker, and bent down to touch it and it was sticky with blood. Lexie tore her hand away not

wanting to imagine whom it was used on. Lexie held the switchblade tight, its blade glowing even in the darkness and she prayed it brought her the luck she so desperately needed. She thought it might.

She reached the top of the stairs; slightly dizzy from walking in perpetual circles and slowly opened the door to be faced with nothing. There was a coiled rope on the floor, a

stool, a city of candles, an open window, and not a human to be found. Lexie ventured further in the room only to hear the door shut behind her and Jennys voice, Where is she?

Emily didnt know what gave her the power to jump from the little stool and grasp the sill of the window, but when her ropes finally snapped loose she began believing in miracles. She grabbed the stool with the urgency of a drowning man gasping for air. It took several attempts, with her knocking

241 over the stool in the process and then praying Jenny didnt hear her. The third time was a charm and Emily hung from the window, her body swaying slightly, and then she lifted herself up and out. The cool night air on her face was a blessed thing and she wouldve sat there a bit longer if the threat of Jenny didnt exist. Yet, Jenny was there somewhere, and it was up to her to

get help. Emily began crawling along the rooftop, skirting holes of various sizes and hoping the roof didnt cave in on her. made the mistake of looking down and nearly succumbed to vertigo. She spied a pipe that ran down the length of the house and crawled towards it. It was only when Emily reached it that she She

spotted Jake lying in the grass. Emily didnt know if he was alive or dead, but her instinct was to go to him. Carefully winding her legs around the pipe,

she started to make her descent. The pipe had rusty pieces of metal hanging off it in abrasive chunks and they tore her denim and scraped her legs, but she kept right on going. Suddenly, velocity and gravity

came together making her slide down the pipe as if it were a firemans pole. In the nick of time, Emily hugged the pipe with

242 all her might before she slammed into the ground, and jumped down the last few feet. She landed in some bushes and rolled a bit. Emily lay in

the grass, the wind knocked out of her and checking to see if she could still feel her legs. Confident she suffered from no

paralysis, and her breath finally returning to her, she popped up and ran towards Jake. Emily hovered over him, staring at his shirt soaked in blood and his snowy-white skin. She never saw a dead body

before, and she never thought the first one she did see would belong to a friend. Then, Jake coughed and in spite of the blood which bubbled forth, Emily was exuberant he was still alive. him and took his hand. Lexie? Jake asked, his eyes closed. No, Jake, its Emily. Jake opened his eyes and smiled. Did Jenny hurt you? Hey, Em, are you okay? She knelt beside

His voice was faint and small, and he The sound of it choked Emily

sounded like the boy he use to be. up, and she merely shook her head.

I just didnt want to die in there, Em. Youre not going to die, Jake. Ive cheated death once, Em. Jake closed his eyes. It just might be my time.

243 Oh no, Jake. No, please, no. Jake did as she asked. here. I dont want to leave you. I dont care, Em. you safe. We want you safe. Please. Lexie would want Open your eyes.

Emily, you have to get out of

So, go, sweetie.

Emily sat there.

She realized this was the first time ever At

in her short life that she had to make a difficult decision.

that moment, Emily realized what it was like to be an adult, to have responsibility, to have to sometimes choose what you should do over what you want to do. stay nine forever. Jake stared at her and she stared back, and it was like the staring contest they always played. Jake win. Only this time, she let At that moment, Emily wanted to

She gave him a kiss on the forehead and he placed one His eyes showed nothing but relief.

hand on her cheek.

Go, he whispered. So Emily ran. She ran across the clearing, her sobs She ran deeper into the woods,

pouring out of her as she went.

not looking back, feeling like she failed both Jake and Lexie, and wishing there was something she couldve done. She fully

felt the frustration of being a kid, and feeling small and powerless.

244 As she ran, Emily didnt see a good ending to that night. All she saw was Jake and Lexie dead, and the humming madwoman disappearing into the night. Then she heard a faint wailing, it Yet, as she ran,

almost sounded like a woman crying in pain.

the sound became more distinct and she couldnt imagine hearing anything sweeter. It was the sound of sirens.

245

Endgame

The townspeople of Palmetto never saw so many police cars in their lives, and they were all moving in one direction, towards the woods. People poked their heads out their windows,

and stepped out on to their porches, and all turned in the direction of the blue and red lights and black-and-white automobiles. Charlie was aware of none of this. since he left Miss Melleys. He was on the move ever

He drove one of the few dirt roads

in the woods, and he found himself wondering how it had all come to this. He couldnt fathom how one woman triggered a manhunt

of the likes he never saw before, and he doubted would see since. He saw the flares slice through the darkening sky, and then Miss Melley sprinted down toward the ground floor of her quaint house. Charlie didnt know Miss Melley could move so fast, and

246 by the way she paused to catch her breath at the bottom of the stairs, he could see she was surprised too. Charlie watched her pick up the phone, as he asked her a million questions. When he heard Miss Melley ask for the Chief, he knew the proverbial shit hit the proverbial fan. The phone call ended with a simple message from Lexie, and it was one that made Charlie raise his eyebrows. Miss Melley

said, Lexie says if you want her, come and get her. So, they were and so was Charlie.

The sirens were far off and unheard by the two women, who stood in a small room of a dilapidated house. one of them was walking out of there. Turn around, Lexie. Lexie did as she was told and she didnt know what scared her more, staring down the barrel of a gun, or the woman behind it. Jennys heft had softened over time, and her dark hair Lexie knew only

streaked with gray was pulled back so tight it raised her brow line causing her to look perpetually surprised or panicked, depending on the interpretation. It was her eyes that riveted

247 Lexie. They were dark and devoid of emotion. There was nothing

but madness beyond Jennys stare.

Lexie felt if she stared into

Jennys eyes for too long, she would go mad as well. Hey, Jenny, its been a long time, Lexie said and she understood it was an understatement in the fullest sense of the word. Fifteen years of you rotting in prison. would die in there. For a while, Jenny so was I. You look different, Jenny said. I know. I feel different. So, here we are. So, here we are. Where is she? Jenny asked again. Your guess is as good as mine. I dont want to play games with you, Lexie. Havent you been all along? Jenny clicked the safety off Jakes gun and the sound chilled Lexie to the bone. Dont try to be funny, Lexie. I was hoping you

Nothing about this is funny, Jenny. Dont get all moral on me now, Lexie? Where were your morals fifteen years ago? a boy in the rain? Where were your morals when you left

248 When I what? David hung himself, Jenny. Of all people,

you should know that. This isnt about David.

Charlie drove wishing for someone to talk to about all the madness that was going on. vision and he slowed down. He almost couldnt believe his eyes when he saw Emily, scraped and disheveled, but very much alive and running towards him. He screeched to a halt, popped the parking brake and Then something ran past his field of

jumped out of the car. The girl ran into his arms and he hugged her tight and let her cry. Are you alright, Emily? Charlie asked, and he dried her tears. Emily nodded and managed through never-ending sobs to stutter out, I left them, Officer Charles. hes going to die, and its all my fault. Whos going to die, sweetheart? Jake. He made me, and now

249 Charlie almost started to protest, to tell her everything was going to be alright. His voice escaped him, because he knew Instead, he asked the question

he wasnt sure of that himself. on everyones mind. Jenny. Who?

Who took you, Emily?

Jenny, Emily said once more and she threw herself back into his arms. She trapped me in the Ewing house.

Charlie hugged her, crouching on the ground and comforting her as best he could, and he thought to himself no child should ever have the memory she would have for the rest of her life.

Who is this about? Lexie asked. This is about a boy you and your punk friends left in the rain. It took Lexie a minute to realize, and then it all clicked into place. you? J.D.? I dont understand. What did he mean to

250 Jenny shot her, and the bullet sliced through her shoulder and made Lexie drop to the floor. Jenny stormed towards her and

pressed the barrel of the gun directly to Lexies temple. How dare you ask me that. the truth about you. For fifteen years Ive known

The truth about what you did to me.

The pain was excruciating, and all Lexie could do was moan in reply, What did I do? What havent you done? Every child should have a life, You shook the

and you couldnt even allow your own son that. life out of him.

God gave you a gift and you gave it back.

Jenny shook her head and pressed the barrel of the gun even harder into Lexies temple. When it happened to me, I was very

young like you were, but girls like me dont have babies alone. So, my parents made me give him up. only to find out he was dead. I went looking for him;

I never knew what happened, until

that day I sat next to Sister Margaret in a hot crowded courthouse and heard what you did to J.D. my, James. animal. too. It hit Lexie with such force it took her breath away and she gasped at the revelation, even as her shoulder throbbed around the bullet lodged in it. scared. Jenny, I was young. I was Heard what you did to

You just left him in the street to die like some

Not only did you kill your son, Lexie, you killed mine

I never wanted him to die.

251 Well, its too late for regret, but it isnt for vengeance. right now. A single bullet could blow her brains right out of the back of Lexies skull. Yet, if it was going to be her life in Now, tell me where that girl is, or Ill shoot you

exchange for Emilys, so be it. Youre just gonna have to kill me, Jenny, cause Im not telling you where she is. Lexie closed her eyes, flinching at what was to come. She

prayed there was a heaven to go to, and she wondered if that would be where she was headed. something changed everything. Lexie! Jenny and Lexie looked up to see Emily standing in the doorway. It didnt matter, because

Charlie sprinted through the woods looking for a little girl, who managed to fool a grown man. His cruiser still sat on

a deserted stretch of road, with the lights still on, and the passenger side door flapping open and closed with the wind. All

252 the while, the Chief barked questions at him on his walkie talkie. mistake. pleasant. Charlie, speaking. Charlie, where the hell are you? I have a bunch of my I He picked up earlier during his pursuit, which was a When Charlie picked up the first go around, it wasnt

boys heading towards the woods, and youre not one of them. called Miss Melley, and youre not there either. the hell are you? Im already in the woods, sir, Charlie said, almost tripping over a stump in the process.

So, where in

What the hell, Charlie? Is no one listening to me anymore? First, Jake, now you. Im sorry, sir, its just something I had to do, and I found Emily. Oh thank God you did something right, Charlie. The

Chiefs words were marred by static, but the insult stung just the same. How is she, Charlie?

I dont know, sir. Charlie, are you trying to drive me crazy? just say you found her? I did, sir. Then what the hell? I lost her, sir. Didnt you

253 What? Charlie, what in the hell is happening out there?

He didnt quite know what happened, it all started innocently enough. Charlie. Of course he wouldnt. He wanted to take her straight to Emily pleaded with him, Take me back there,

the Citrons, which was where she belonged and he told her as much. Then he wiped the last of her tears away and helped her He got in and did his best to turn around on

into the cruiser.

the rocky patch of dirt road. He glanced at Emily, who sat with her arms folded and a large pout, then she smiled. Hey, Charlie? Yeah, Emily? You want to play a game? Sure, Emily. What are we going to play?

Hide and go seek. Emily unlocked her seatbelt, opened the door and jumped out of the car. Charlie slammed on the brakes and watched in

amazement as she rolled in the dirt. Emily! Come find me, Charlie! Emily sprang up from the ground and began to run and Charlie jumped out of his car after her. ever since. Hed been chasing her He couldnt.

He didnt tell the Chief all of this.

254 Losing her was bad enough. How he lost her was humiliating. He

regretted having picked up the Chiefs call in the first place. So, he avoided more talk altogether by shutting off his walkie talkie without a word. He was already in trouble; he might as

well stay in it for the time being. However, now Charlie was forced to make contact, because what was up ahead stopped him in his tracks. The night sky was

turned to day from the light of a roaring fire, and smoke filled the air. Although Charlie was far from his destination he knew

where the flames were coming from. Chief, we have a problem. What is it, Charlie? Whats happening?

You better call the fire department, cause the Ewing house is on fire.

Lexie woke up with a heavy head, smoke distorting her view, and blistering skin from the heat of the flames. It was at

least a hundred and ten degrees in the little room, and her eyebrows and lashes were singed.

255 It started with one candle, and that was as much as Lexie could remember before she was knocked out cold. The sight of Emily both cheered and terrified her and she yelled, Emily, get out of here! Jenny swung the gun in Emilys direction and pulled the trigger, only to be rewarded with the sound of an empty chamber. So, Lexie took her opportunity and tackled Jenny, which in hindsight was ludicrous since Jenny outweighed her by a good fifty pounds. Jenny threw her against the wall, and she slid down it toppling over a candle and then passed out. Now Lexie was awake

and doing her best to crawl out of the room, before the fire took it over entirely. She still felt the knife tucked into her

sock and heard Jenny calling her name, and Lexie crawled toward the sound.

256 Emily was a stubborn girl. She couldnt help but think if

she was less so, maybe she wouldnt be right back where she started, trapped and preparing to die. They sat in the master bedroom of the house. The room was

still furnished like so much of the house, preparing to welcome a family that would never return. Everything was caked in dust and the emerald green sheets long ago faded to the color of pea soup. Emily was no longer in

the little room, but she was still a prisoner. She knew she was a fool to go back, her loyalty making her inane. Although she was a brave little girl, she was still a She was a little girl muddling in the world of It was a

little girl. adults.

A world of murder, of betrayal, of suffering.

world she realized, she shouldve never tried to brave in the first place. safe. Jakes voice echoed in her head, We want you

If only she listened.

Emily sat on Jennys lap, a piece of broken mirror held to her throat. She watched as Jenny smashed the master bedrooms

mirror to bits, not caring about the superstition of seven years bad luck. She held Emily by one arm and dragged her to the bed,

and they sat waiting for Lexie as the houses fire built up momentum.

257 The police are coming you know, Emily said, but Jenny didnt say a word. The only thing Jenny would say was Lexies name, and she bellowed it out over and over again.

Jenny, I have something you want. Lexie stood in the master bedrooms doorway, singed, shot, and with a limp. She held her cross in one hand, hid her

switchblade in the other, and her heart in her throat, because if her gamble didnt pay off Emily would lose her life. Lexie didnt remember how she made it downstairs, only images; the memory of it was vague and as out-of-reach as the night Dylan died. She remembered using her switchblade to help drag her along, and she lodged it in the floor like an anchor. She could barely crawl, and inched along the floor using the blade to keep her moving. She mustered as much adrenaline as she could and

prayed the entire time.

258 Jennys voice seemed to be everywhere calling out her name, and all she could think was Emily was captive once again. She

thought if Emily died, it would be another thing she wanted that was taken away from her. hope. Emilys death would be the loss of all It

The loss of good things happening to people like her.

took a child to see what she could become, even when she didnt, and to Lexie that meant a lot. wore around her neck. It was time to let that cross and everything along with it go, and Lexie knew just who to give it to. She managed to reach For a It meant more than the cross she

the door as the flames devoured everything behind her.

time she blacked out, it was as if her mind just shut off, then it was as if someone pulled up the blinds in a dark room. Everything came back into view in sharp focus. She was at the

bottom of the stairs and lying on the floor in the little girls room. She was among smoke, and scattered books from the

bookcase. She blacked out once more, and her head was still bleeding from the gash in it when she woke up. Lexie pulled herself up

in the middle of the hallway, and used the wall to pull herself down the stairs, toward the second floor. Now she stood in the master bedrooms doorway, leaning against its frame. Jenny sat on the bed, with her hair a bit in

259 her face, breathing irregularly due to the smoke. Yet, her grip

on the sliver of glass at Emilys throat was steady. The fire already picked up its manic pace and Emily, Jenny, and Lexie were in one of the few rooms left which wasnt burning. Smoke was everywhere making it hard to see and even

harder to breathe, and Lexie tried to stop herself from coughing. Jenny stared at the cross.

Where did you get that? Jenny said. David gave it to me. What? Lexie saw the look in Jennys eye, and it was the look of someone who wanted to believe something which was nothing but impossible. Davids dead, Jenny said. I know, Lexie said and she took the tiniest step towards them. Stay back, Lexie! Jenny shouted and pricked Emilys cheek with the piece of glass. Emily wailed and Lexie cried out, Okay, Jenny, okay Ill stay where I am! In truth, Lexie couldnt move faster if she wanted to, she felt her body about to give out and she was doing her best to

260 stop from swaying. The heat of the blaze made the entire house

an oven, and the wail of approaching sirens only heightened her desperation. Theyre coming, Jenny, Lexie said. We dont have much time. Give me the cross. Give me the girl. No. Then no cross. Give me the cross. Jenny stood up with Emily, shaking like a leaf, in her grasp. Lexie locked eyes with Emily, gave a quick wink, and hoped Emily was prepared to run. cross. Lexie threw the cross up in the air and Jennys gaze followed it. Emily, run! Lexie demanded. Emily for once did what she was told and stomped on Jennys foot. Jenny howled, Lexie yanked Emily away from Jenny, and Okay, Jenny, Ill give you the Do you hear them?

pushed her out of the master bedroom, slamming the door behind her. Lexie heard the clatter of footsteps and the slam of the

front door, and breathed a sigh of relief.

261 She turned just in time to see Jenny with the cross in her hand, and moving towards her. open her switchblade. They fought in a world of smoke and ash and looked like shadowy images to each other. not see her. Lexie could hear Jenny, but could Lexie made her move and flicked

She held her switchblade out, hoping to hit She got her wish.

something, swinging wildly.

Jenny ran head-on into Lexies blade, the knife sinking into her chest as she stabbed Lexie in the side with the piece of glass. They both groaned, leaning up against the door, It was just a matter of who

attached by each others weapons. would let go first.

They gazed into each others eyes, a grimace on both their lips. Jake. Jennys hand let go of the piece of glass and she fell to the floor. her. Lexie pulled the knife out of her and stood over Lexie drove her knife in deeper and said, This is for,

Jenny looked up at her with glassy eyes, and a trickle of Lexie pulled

blood crept out of her mouth and down her chin.

the broken piece of glass out of her side and threw it on the floor. She watched as life faded out of Jennys eyes.

Finally, Lexie was looking into the eyes of a dead woman, and she crouched down and checked for a pulse. There was none.

262 She was in enormous pain but joy filled Lexies heart for at last it was over, then reality came to greet her. would soon be as gone from the earth as Jennys soul. Lexie stumbled towards the door, swung it open, and promptly collapsed. The house

263

A New Beginning

The Ewing house burned for three days and everyone in town came to watch a legend die. Everyone was turned away, and those

who caught a glimpse told a different story of what was before them. The more stubborn townsfolk stayed behind and watched it all from a few yards away. They sat among picnic blankets, A few reporters

beach umbrellas, and thermoses full of cider.

came too, but there werent many of them left in Palmetto since most of the drama was over. It was on to the next news story, The reporters were

and Palmetto held no more interest for them.

like vultures that picked all they could off the carcass they found, and were now on the hunt for something else to feed on. It took Palmettos fire department, and the fire department from the neighboring town of Westlaw, to help battle the blaze.

264 Lexie saw none of it. She was too busy recuperating in an Charlie was the one who

antiseptic smelling hospital room.

rescued her, and she discovered this along with everything else from Miss Melley, who was the first person to come see her.

Lexie smelled the scent of decaying flowers and rubbing alcohol, the feel of crisp sheets, and Miss Melleys hand on her forehead. She woke up to see a square of white and an IV Her mouth felt as Miss

dripping a mystery fluid slowly into her arm.

if it were full of cotton balls and her body felt stiff. Melleys face loomed into view.

Hey, weve been worried about you, Miss Melley said. Youve been worried about me? Lexie asked, but her words came out all weird and disjointed. someone elses. Its the medication, someone else said. Lexie turned her head to see a nurse holding a big needle and she took Lexies arm. Lexie shook her head in protest. Her voice sounded like

265 There was a sharp sting and then Miss Melleys face was gone and the sight and scent of the hospital room along with it. Lexie woke up again a few hours later and this time she could sit up a bit, and Miss Melley sat in a chair beside her bed, dozing off. Miss Melley? Miss Melley opened her eyes, scooted her chair over, and took Lexies hand. Hey there.

Im alive, Lexie said. You sound surprised, honey. I am. Lexie looked down at the bandages wrapped around What happened? Hes the reason why

her torso and her shoulder.

Well, I rather have Charlie tell you.

youre here in the first place, but since Charlies visiting Jake-- Jakes alright? HesHes here, honey, thats all I can and want to tell you. Lexie frowned, Miss Melleys words making her not necessarily wanting to know the answer to her question. happened? What

266 Well, okay, baby. Ill try my best to remember it all.

Miss Melley began to tell her, trying to speak for Charlie as much as she was able.

Charlie reached the clearing, as Emily ran out the front door of the Ewing house to sit besides Jakes body, and the first of the patrol cars were starting to arrive. Emilys face was covered in soot and ash, and he ran toward her and knelt on the ground. Charlie saw Jake baptized in his

own blood, and his anger at Emily sending him on a wild goose chase evaporated. Now I see, honey, why you had to run, Charlie said and checked Jakes pulse. There was a remnant of life and Charlie Wheres Lexie?

hoped Jake was willing to cling to it. Shes inside.

You gotta help her, Charlie.

267 Emily stared at him with big pleading eyes, as deputies walked toward them. Charlie looked at the burning house and

looked back at her, and he knew what he had to do. He began to run toward the house without looking back, not even as he heard the chief call out his name, and he entered the inferno. The house was thick with smoke. What wasnt on fire

was smoldering and getting ready for combustion. Charlie called out Lexies name from the ground floor, getting on his hands and knees and crawling. He was ready to

give up, doubting he would make it alive to even reach the second floor, when he heard movement up above. He saw Lexies body, and dashed up the stairs, dodging flames that lashed out at him. Charlie saw her second degree

burns, the blood she shed, and realized a true survivor laid before him. He was in a world of fire, sweat rolled off his brow and stung his eyes. He picked Lexie up into his arms, and stood

there wondering how he was going to get them both out of there. The smallest breeze drifted through, and the smoke cleared for an instant showing him a path down the stairs. It was

raining burning bits of wood and ash, and Lexie groaned in his arms as Charlie dashed down the steps. He barely dodged a huge

beam from the ceiling, which came crashing down on to the

268 stairwell. The beam shattered a good portion of the banister

and blocked the way from which they came, bringing more flames with it. The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He maketh me

to lie in greener pastures, Charlie muttered under his breath. His fear and determination for both of them to live, making him call on God like many others faced with not knowing if they would live or die. Charlie shifted some of Lexies weight a bit, and started to move across the living room, shielding her from more physical suffering and relentless flames. waters. He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me beside still

He leadeth me the paths of

righteous for his names sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death Flames caught a hold of Charlies pants leg, he beat them into submission with his hat, and tried to keep Lexie steady. She almost fell out of his grasp as he put himself out. The

burn hurt like hell, and Charlie knew he was fortunate only his leg was in jeopardy. I will fear no evil, Charlie whispered, the pains from his leg making his once dislocated shoulder seem like a picnic. For thou art with me.

269 The front door was a few steps away and the future of their lives was on the other side, and with each step he took Charlie kept on repeating the 23rd Psalm. comfort me. Thy rod and thy staff, they

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of My cup runneth over. He threw his

mine enemies.

Charlies hand was at last on the door.

weight against it, and said Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. The door fell off its hinges, and he and Lexie tumbled out of the Ewing house. Charlie lay on his side. They were bathed

in ashes, the skin on his burnt leg felt as if a hive of bees stung it, and Lexie was still miraculously in his grasp. He looked at the stunned faces of the deputies and the paramedics. At last his gaze rested on Emilys, who was crying

tears of joy, and Charlie yelled to her more than anyone else, coughing his way through his words, I found her!

270 He did all that for me? Lexie asked, amazed. He did all that for Jake and Emily, as much as you, because he knows how much they love you. Because they love me, Lexie repeated and smiled, but her smile faded as quickly as it came. Shes good. How is Emily? She

Shes better than I would be at her age. She said she would

came to see you while you were asleep. return and I know that she will.

Lexie looked around the room; there were blossoms all around her, roses, lilies, jasmine, tulips, stargazers, daisies, and birds of paradise. Flowers of every type and size wrapped

up in various bouquets, and not one bunch was without its own beauty. There are a lot of flowers in here, Lexie said. Well, its about time you noticed, Miss Melley said with a smile. She pointed to each bouquet and named the sender.

Thats from Joe and the girls at the diner, thats from Charlie and the boys at the station, and that huge one over there is from the Chief himself. That is big. Thats nothing. You should see the one in Jakes room.

Ive never seen such a big bouquet.

271 How is Jake, Miss Melley? Miss Melley looked at her and said nothing, and tears came to her eyes. Miss Melley, whatever it is, I can take it. this far. I better show you, dear. Ill call one of the nurses. Ive made it

Well get you into a wheelchair, and bring you over to his room.

All sorts of tubes came out of him.

A series of machines

tracked his heart rate, his brain activity, and his breathing. Jake lay in the intensive care unit, blissfully ignorant to the number of doctors, nurses, and machines which worked in tandem to make sure he came back to those who loved him. Miss Melley wheeled Lexie along with her IV, into Jakes room, where the Chief sat with his hat in his hand and choking back his own sobs.

272 Shes awake, Miss Melley said as she wheeled Lexie in, and Lexie tried her best not to look shocked by Jakes condition. Oh good, the chief said. melancholy. They were left alone, Miss Melley slipping into the hallway to give them some privacy. I saw your flowers, thank you, Lexie said as she sat by one side of Jakes bed, and the Chief sat by the other. Youre welcome. It was the least I could do. He smiled through his

None of this is your fault, you know, Lexie said, recognizing the signs of being wracked with guilt. them all too well. Its not yours either, the Chief said in return, and Lexie did her best to believe him. How long has he been this way? About as long as youve been in and out of sleep, three, maybe four days. What do the doctors say? They say what theyre suppose to say, that theyre doing the best they can. His condition should improve, that all our She knew

love for him matters.

273 Do you believe that? I want to believe that, Lexie, and I hope thats good enough. Lexie didnt have anything to say, because there was so much she could say and she knew none of it would make a difference. he wouldnt. If Jake was meant to live, he would. If he wasnt,

She just hoped his will to pull through was

stronger than their wishing he would. I was wrong about you, the Chief said. I was wrong about you too. They smiled at each other, knowing it was no time to hold grudges and all was forgiven. The two of them sat and watched

Jake breathe and sent their love to him just by being there.

I have something for you, Emily said. Emily stood in Lexies hospital room, her smile a beacon, and her eyes a glow. Her parents, Nancy and Daniel, already

274 gave their thanks for saving the one thing near and dear to them. Nancys tears of gratitude moved Lexie so much, that she All three of them, Nancy, Daniel, and Emily

ended up crying as well. Lexie wept.

Emily looked on exasperated at the display.

finally ushered her parents out of the room. However, as Daniel closed the door behind him, he said one thing Lexie knew she would cherish. people were saying. actions. spirit. town. Well, what is it? Lexie said to Emily, once they were Sit down and show it to me. We never believed what

My wife and I judge people by their

Although youre not Palmetto born, youre Palmetto in The two of us, for one thing, are glad you came to this

alone, and patted her bed.

Emily bolted out of her chair and scrambled up onto Lexies bed. She looked at Lexie and slowly took a small gift-wrapped

box out of her jacket pocket. You have to open it, Lexie. for you, Emily chided. Lexie smiled and took the gift from her, ripped open the wrapping paper, and opened the small brown box. It was a It was Its your gift, I cant do it

necklace of a shooting star on a delicate gold chain. lovely.

Its for you to make all your wishes on, Emily said.

275 Well, one of them already came true. Youre safe. Instead of

Lexie didnt get the response she expected.

Emilys beautiful smile, Emily stared at her and said, I have to ask you something. Then go ahead. When Jenny took me Emily paused, not wanting to recall a time she knew she would never forget, and then her bravado returned to her. child. When Jenny took me she said you killed a

Is that true? What do you

Im sure you heard what everyone said. think?

I know I heard what everyone said, I want to hear it from you. Lexie smiled, surprised Emily echoed the very words Jake told her, long before there was a battle at the Ewing house and a fire to extinguish. Yes. Yes I did. Emily was silent, and Lexie thought she would leave, but she said, Why, Lexie? Did you want to? You want to hear it from me, huh?

276 No. old. Never Emily. He was my son. He was a few months I

It was an accident really.

I loved him very much.

still do, and everyday Im trying to make up for it. Is that why you saved me? I wouldve saved you anyway. Emily smiled and kissed Lexie on both cheeks. They sat

talking about nothing in particular, until Emilys parents came and got her and it was good.

Each day Lexie got a bit better, and it just reminded her Jake did not. As the doctors took her off the IV, they hooked As they slowly removed Lexies

Jake up to yet another machine.

bandages and said her burns would heal, they gave no sign Jake would. Any question regarding him was met with an awkward silence or a downcast gaze. Lexie was checked out of the hospital after

two weeks and Jake remained in Intensive Care. She visited him every chance she got. If she wasnt

sleeping at Miss Melleys, Lexie sat by his side holding his

277 hand and greeting all his visitors. She met Jakes family, his They ate with Lexie

brothers, their spouses, and his parents.

in the cafeteria, and the stories they told about Jake made her want him to wake up all the more. She was counting days again. The last time Lexie did such Now she felt just as

a thing was when she was in prison.

trapped in her despair, and time took its savage hold on her once more. It was going on nearly a month, Christmas came and went. Jakes mind was still somewhere else as his body lay in a land of hospital corners and stethoscopes. The hospital already put its New Years decorations up and the Christmas tree was still in the lobby. and red and green did nothing to cheer her. The sight of tinsel Lexie sat outside She

Jakes room, wearing the scarf Nancy Citron knit her. watched doctors, nurses, and visitors come and go.

Lexie was immobile, deciding which course to take for the umpteenth time in her life. She was accustomed to making tough The news The

choices, but finally there was news about Jake.

knocked her defenses down and left her one raw nerve. doctors were talking about turning off the machines.

278 The doctors informed Jakes family and they in turn told her. All of them stood in a circle, looking down at the floor

and not wanting to give into what the statement meant. Jakes brothers and his parents filed out, patting Lexie on the shoulder, telling her they had things to discuss, and asked if she would be okay. She told them what they wanted to hear and they left. Ever

since, Lexie sat in the same uncomfortable chair, carrying on a silent diatribe with God. A relentless inner monologue ran

through her head, and the only one that interrupted it was Miss Melley. I heard, Miss Melley said, returning from her jaunt to the ladies room, and sat down beside her. theyll decide? Its up to his family. What do you want them to decide? Whats best for, Jake. What do you want, Lexie? I dont think it matters what I want. Miss Melley put her arm around Lexies shoulders and said, Honey, what are you talking about? What do you think

279 I turned my back on God for fifteen years, that whole time I was in prison. I figured God lost sight of me, that we lost All the loss Ive been through I I know things

sight of each other, I guess.

deserved in some way, I brought it on myself. happen.

I know you think bad things happen and thats just the

way it is. I know what I told you, but that doesnt mean something bad is going to happen to, Jake. I do have faith. amazing. praying. You have to have faith.

I believe that God gave me something

When I was lying in that burning house, I did a lot of Ive asked God for more these past few days than I He let me have that.

have my whole life, and he gave me Emily. He kept that poor girl safe. No, you did.

Yeah, but with his help, Miss Melley. that was the bargain.

Maybe that was it,

I get Emily, but I dont get to have

Jake, and Im going to just have to make my peace with that. Miss Melley tried to hug her tight, but Lexie pulled away. No, Miss Melley. Not now. Not now. I need to be alone.

Lexie walked down the hall, knowing Miss Melley was full of worry for her, but worry wasnt what she needed. what she needed either. Comfort wasnt

What Lexie needed she didnt think she

would ever have again, and then Jake woke up.

280

There was no grass around him, and Jake didnt see Emilys sweet face. He thought he was dead, because of all of the white

light, and then he realized he was staring at fluorescent lights. He heard snoring, and then he smelled her.

Jake deeply inhaled, the bandages around his waist making it hard to breathe, and he took Lexies scent in. His eyes took in the sight of all the machines and then he turned his head to see Lexie asleep in a chair. Hey, he said. Lexies eyes flew open and she ran to Jakes side, not caring about the tubes or the monitors and she hugged him, and began to cry. Hey, hey, he comforted her, his voice soft and still weak. Why are you crying?

She looked into his eyes and laughed at herself, at her own histrionics. Because I thought

281 I thought I was dead for a second, Jake said, voicing the fear Lexie could not say. I saw all this bright white light.

I thought maybe I was back in my apartment in New York, with Juanita and the paramedics. No, youre here with me. Jake looked around his room at the poinsettia and Christmas decorations, and wrapped Christmas gifts. Its Christmas?

It was Christmas, but itll be New Years in a couple of days. Your familys here, theyre staying here in town.

Everyone has been rooting for you. Ive been out for that long? Yes. Jake looked down at his mummified torso and the memory of Jenny, Emily, and being run through was represented by the gauze surrounding him. I dont want to know, but I do. Hows Emily?

Better yet is that bitch, Jenny, dead? Emilys good and Jennys dead. Then all is as it should be. It is now. Jake pulled himself up a bit and stared at her neck. gone. Its

282 Lexie reached up to her throat, and smiled. Her cross had

been off for a month, and there was a time in her life she wouldve been lost without it. her head. It burned up in the fire, Jake. You have to tell me everything that happened. The doctors would want to know youre awake, Jake, she said, thinking not just about the doctors, but of his family, Miss Melley, Charlie, and the chief. Fuck the doctors, Jake replied. Tell me. Now it wasnt even a thought in

Lexie smiled, because even though his voice was barely audible, and his body was battered and bruised, the man she loved was still in there somewhere. Lexie kissed him softly and

told him all of it, including how brave Charlie had been. Wow, Jake said when she was done, and smiled. Charlie did it again. Did what, Jake? Helped you when I couldnt. Yes he did. Jake looked at her, and the toughness he wore like armor melted away, and he became shy. How do you feel? Well,

283 I couldnt tell you one thing I feel. everything right now. No, I mean. How do you feel about everything being over? Im feeling

It needed to be and not just here in Palmetto, but here, Lexie said and put her hand over her heart. I came to Palmetto to find some change, but all along I really wanted a change in me. I wanted to feel what its like to have even a little bit

of happiness. Have you? Oh, Jake, Ive found so much more than that. Jake smiled, as always, knowing what she meant without her having to explain it. She held his hand and they looked at each It

other, and it struck Lexie that time was an amazing thing. wasnt something to fear, as she always had. prison, she felt she didnt have enough time.

Before she went to While living

nearly two decades in a cage, Lexie felt she had all too much of it. Yet looking into Jakes eyes, Lexie knew at last time was on her side. She could do with it whatever she liked. She

could squander it or she could cherish it, and for the first time since she got out of prison, she felt free.