Dangerous Questions

By Elton Camp Some questions have no way to win Be cautious if you answer such again When the wife asks, Do I look fat? Either Yes or No will bring combat But if you say, You look just right, Its possible you can avoid a fight A direct answer is usually not wise The circumstances you must apprise What is it that youre thinking about? If, Nothing, its a dark secret no doubt Are you really going to wear that shirt? I put it on, didnt I? is a lot too curt How do you like my new hairdo? Lavishly praise or you sure will rue Dont even consider saying, Its fine That you really dislike, itll be the sign If she asks, Do you want me to drive? Dont say, No, Id rather get there alive. Which of these paints do you like best? The one she prefers, you hope you guessed To the suspicious, What did I just say? Youre caught. To win, theres no way