HOW TO OVERCOME TENSIONS AND HAVE PEACE OF MIND

Author: HH Pujyasri Dada J P Vaswani

There was a woman of ninety. She never felt upset over anything. She was never tensed, always serene and tranquil as the waters of a lake on a windless day, always at peace with God, with those around her and with herself.

Someone asked her how she could be serene in all conditions and circumstances of life. She answered: I think it is because I become a little child every night.

What is meant by that? she was asked.

She answered: Every night, I go to my silence corner. I look at my Beloved, Krishna. I place all my worries and anxieties and problems of the day, one by one, at his Lotus feet. If I am feeling guilty about something I have done, - I might have inadvertently hurt or caused grief to someone, - I ask for his forgiveness and then accept it. If I am worried about anything, I hand over the problems to him and let go of it. If I feel lonely or unwanted, I tell Him so and He enfolds me in His loving arms. Always, after letting go, a deep peace settles over me and tensions disappear.

It has been said that the natural role of twentieth century man is tension. Wherever I go, I find people who are tensed and nervous. Tension is more common in its incidence than the common cold: and certainly it is more harmful and injurious. Thousands of people the world over suffer from hypertension. Today, it seems true that we live in an age that is afflicted with tension.

How to overcome tension? An answer is given us by Sri Krishna in the Gita. Speaking unto his dear, devoted disciple, Arjuna, the Master says: O Arjuna! Renouncing all rites and writ duties, come to Me for single refuge, and I shall liberate you from bondage to suffering sin! I shall give you the rest which your restless heart seeks.

In similar strain did Jesus speak to his people in Jerusalem: Come unto Me, ye that are weary and heavy-laden, and I shall give you rest!

Are not our hearts troubled and restless? O, for someone who will bring rest to our restless hearts! Are not our souls burdened? O, for someone who will lift up the burdens from our hearts and make them feel light and fresh, - light as the dropping dew, and fresh as the mountain-breeze!

Our hearts are burdened. As I have met you, my friends, from time to time, and gazed into the depths of your eyes, and gazed deeper into your heart, I have felt that your hearts are burdened. Today, I wish to say this to you: Why have you clung to your burdens all these years? Drop them! All you have to do is to turn the beauteous Face of Him whose word comes floating across the centuries: I shall liberate you from all bondage to suffering and sin! I shall lift up all your burdens! I shall give you the rest which your restless hearts seek!

If you analyze the situation, you will find that ultimately all the burden is borne by the Lord, not merely the burden of our individual lives or the nations, not merely the burden of the earth or the solar system, but the burden of all the universes, the galaxies and nebulae, huge star systems in the making, the entire burden is ultimately borne by the Lord. How foolish of us, then, to be carrying our little burdens on our weak shoulders!

There is an amusing little story told us concerning a villager, who travelled by the railway train for the first time. When he purchased his ticket, he was told that he would be allowed to carry only 20 kilos of luggage. He had himself with 30 kilos. What did he do? Part of the luggage, which weighed 20 kilos, he kept on the floor of the compartment, and the balance he carried on his head. There he sat on the bench in the railway compartment, bearing 10 kilos on his head. After sometime, the T.T.E. (the travelling ticket examiner) entered the compartment and was surprised to find the villager carrying load on his head. Asked the reason, the villager said: Sir! I am permitted to carry only 20 kilos: that much luggage I have kept on the floor, the remaining 10 kilos I am carrying on my head! The T.T.E was amused. He said to the villager: Dont you know that you and your entire luggage are being pulled by the railway engine? Whether you keep the luggage on the floor or carry it on your head, the burden is ultimately borne by the engine. You will have to pay for the excess 10 kilos of luggage!

I am afraid many of us, in daily life, behave like the villager. We keep on carrying our little burdens on our shoulders, when we know that the entire burdens on our shoulders, when we know that the entire burden of the entire universe is being borne by the Lord. So let me say this to you, today: Cast all your cares upon the Lord! Throw all your burdens at His Lotus Feet. And feel for once the joy of living!

We pray everyday: Thou art my father, Thou my mother art: I am thy child! Have you ever seen a child carrying the burden of anxiety or worry? The child is carefree. He is free from all anxiety. We pray to God that we are His children. We live as anything but children. We do not claim our heritage as children of God.

Several years ago, a book was published. The title of the book is, Main Currents of Western Thought. The author of the book is a historian, Franklin Baumer. He refers to our age as an age of anxiety. Wherever you go, you find people living under the pressure of worry or anxiety. Truly, our age is an age in which material comforts have grown beyond the expectation of man. But material comforts have not given man true satisfaction. And civilization, today, is sick. Those are the words of a number of modern thinkers who, surveying the situation of the world tell us that civilization is sick. Today, wherever you turn, you find there is the passion for power, the greed of gold, the lust for fame. Today, the nations are wandering in a jungle of darkness. Today, Humanity stands on the brinks of a precipice. Today,

Mother Humanity is shedding tears, while her children are busy preparing nuclear weapons. Today, Humanity is as an orphan crying in the night, crying for the light. What is the reason?

The distinguished Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung, diagnosed the illness of the present age as alienation from God. Civilization, he said, has become sick because it has alienated itself from God. Man has cut himself off from God, who is the Source and Sustainer of life. And man cannot live a healthy life, physically, mentally, morally, spiritually. The more we turn away from God, the more we shall continue to wander, the more restless will our hearts become. And Carl Jung also said: It is easy enough to drive the Spirit out of the door, but when we have done so, the salt of life grows flat, life loses its flavour.

Life seems to have lost its flavour, today. An ever increasing number of men and women, boys and girls, all over the world, say, Life is not worth living! Life has no meaning! Today, we seem to have more and more means, but less and less meaning. Is it not significant that the countries which claim to have highest per capita income are the countries in which you have the highest percentage of suicides? Material wealth and opulence on the one hand and suicides on the other: the two seems go together.

A number of people meet me and say to me: Our life is full of tensions: what shall we do? Modern life is an unbalanced existence. Everyone is racing for something he does not really want when he gets it. We are hurrying, hurrying all the time. Our pace needs to be slowed down. Hurry is the number one cause of tension. And whenever there is tension, we cannot put forth our best efforts. For tension uses up, burns so much of our energy, which we could utilize in better ways.

It is not only when people are moving that they are in a hurry. Even while they are waiting, mentally they are in a state of hurry. Though they may be sitting in an outer office, waiting to be called in for their appointment, or they may be standing, waiting for a friend or for a bus, in their minds they are hurrying. It is this mental hurry that causes tension and keeps on adding to it, until it expresses itself in one physical ailment or another.

A number of physical illnesses are caused by tension. They range from anxiety headaches to ulcers. Dr. Guirdham has written a book bearing the title, Obsession. In this book, he tells us that tension is the cause of several diseases, including asthma, duodenal ulcers, migraine, malfunctioning of the colon and certain forms of epilepsy. And tension always leads to insomnia or sleeplessness. So it is that the demand for sleeping tablets keeps on growing from more to more. Sleep is a natural restorative process. After a days work, a person should be able to sleep peacefully. But, today, in many of our cities, the people have lost the art of sleeping. There was a time, whenever I spoke, some amongst the audience would go off to sleep. Some of them would even snore merrily. But, today, the people are so tensed and highly strung that it is impossible to put them thus to sleep.

What is the way of life that we should adopt so that we may not be victims of tension? So let me pass on to you a few practical suggestions:

The very first suggestion is, adopting a positive attitude towards life. This you cannot do in a days time. It is a process, but you must start right now. The one teaching which has been given by us by all the great ones of humanity is that man is his own friend and his own foe. You are your own friend and you are your own enemy. No one outside of you can do any harm. It is very easy, in difficult and trying circumstances, to throw the blame on others. It is very easy to say that if such and such a thing had not occurred; my condition would have been different. It is not so! No one outside of you can do you harm. It is you who are your own foe: it is you who can be your own friend. If you would be your friend, adopt a positive attitude towards life.

What is it to have the positive attitude? It is not that the man of positive attitude refuses to recognize the negative side of life. Life has a negative side, a dark side. Life is full of difficulties and dangers. But the man with the positive attitude refuses to dwell on the negative side of life. He looks for the best results from the worst conditions. Surrounded by trials and tribulations, he looks for some place to stand on. Conditions may be very adverse, yet he continues to expect good things. It is an inviolable law of life, that when you expect good, good will comes to you.

Dr. Vincent Peale, in one of his illuminating books, speaks of a Sales Manager of a large manufacturing company, who found that in certain territories, the sales of his product had declined. He called the sales representatives of those territories to the head office, at a conference. The conference was a short and simple one. He tacked a large piece of white paper on the wall and, at the centre of the paper, placed a black dot. He called the representatives, one by one, and asked them: What do you see on the paper in front of you? Every one of the salesmen said: A black dot. When he had gone the round, he called upon them again and asked them: Is there anything besides the black dot that you see on the paper in front of you? They all answered, No. We can only see the black dot. Then it is that he said to them: This is your great tragedy. You only see the black dot: you dont see the white expansive space that surrounds the black dot. Now go back to your territories and stop seeing the black dots. Look out for opportunities instead of difficulties, and you will find that the sales of our products will go up!

This it is to adopt a positive attitude towards life. Many of us see only the black dots in our life: we do not see the white spaces surrounding the black dots. So we easily become depressed.

When I was a student in school, I saw a picture, which left a lasting impression on my mind. It was the picture of two pails, each half-filled with water. On one of the pails was a face with a frown and underneath were written the words: Of what use is it to be half empty all the time? On the other pail was a face with a smile and the words: I am grateful to God that I am at least half full! The two buckets symbolised respectively the negative and positive attitudes towards life. The man with negative attitude wears a frown on his face, and is morose and resentful. He feels unwanted and rejected. The man with the positive attitude is cheerful and buoyant and has the strength to face the difficulties of life in the right spirit. The man with the positive attitude has a singing heart: his heart keeps on singing all the time. Try this experiment. When you get up in the morning, the very first thing, hum yourself a simple tune, such as Deena bandhu deenaa naath, meri dori tere haath. O Thou, the Friend of the friendless, the Lord of the lowly, I surrender the thread of my life in your safe Hands: lead me where Thou wilt! As the day advances, in the midst of your work, pause for a while, again and again, and hum to yourself the tune: Deena bandhu deenaa naath, meri dori tere haath. You will find that difficulties will have no power over you; tensions will not be able to touch you. And see that your face always wears a smile. For smile mounting up, just smile: you will break the force of tensions. The imagined clouds will scatter and the sun will shine once again.

Suggestion number one is, adopt a positive attitude towards life. And suggestion number two is, do not anticipate troubles. There are some who imagine all sorts of troubles, -troubles which never come. It was Benjamin Franklin who said: Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. Many of us, by anticipating troubles, keep on building up tension. I know of a man who has made himself a virtual prisoner in his house. If you ask him to out for a walk, he will tell you, If I go out, my foot may slip, and I will break my bones.

There is a mother who has a son, and if the child gets late in returning home, she imagines that all sorts of misfortunes have befallen him. One evening, the child was late in returning home by fifteen minutes: and the mother called up different hospitals to find out if a child of his age had been admitted to any hospital. After fifteen minutes, the child quietly walked into the house, unaware of the anxiety he had caused his mother. Significant are the words of Thomas Jefferson: How much have cost us the evils that never happened.

There is a poem which is full of wisdom of life:

Better never trouble trouble, Until trouble troubles you, For youre sure to make your trouble Double trouble when you do. And your trouble, like a bubble, That you are troubling about, May be nothing but a cipher With the rim rubbed out.

So do not anticipate trouble.

So do not anticipate trouble. This takes us to practical suggestion No. 3:

Develop faith! Cultivate faith! What is faith! Faith is not blind. Faith is seeing with the eyes of the heart. Even as, with our physical eyes, we see the beauties of the surrounding universe, even so with the eyes of the heart we see several things. Alas, with many of us, the eyes of the heart are closed. When these eyes open, we will be able to see that all that has happened has happened for the best, all that is happening is happening for the best, all that will happen will happen for the best. There is a meaning of mercy in all that happens. For God has a plan for every one of us, and there is a purpose in every little thing that happens to us. The man of faith, therefore, rejoices in everything that happens to him. He accepts everything as it comes to him, and moves on, - ever onward, forward, Godward! The great American poet, Whittier, said: When faith is lostthe man is dead!

There is a story of two people who were ship-wrecked. They found themselves on an island, which was uninhibited. Out of branches and leaves of trees they built for themselves a cottage. One of the two men was an unbeliever: the other was a

devout soul. The latter urged that there was good in all that had happened. The unbeliever scoffed at him. But both of them managed to get along with each other.

Every day, they would go out to the sea-shore and wave their hands of handkerchiefs, in the hope that some passing steamer would view them from afar and come to their rescue. Every evening, they returned to their cottage. One evening, they found that the cottage had caught fire and had been reduced to ashes. The unbeliever cursed the elements. The man of faith said to him: Friend, be not depressed. Surely, there must be some good in this too! God must have meant well by us! The unbeliever felt exasperated and shouted: You and your God! I shall have nothing to do with you both!

However, the next morning, as they went o to seashore, they found a small steamer waiting for them. The Captain of the boat told them that the previous day he had seen smoke rising from the island which made him feel that there were some who might need his help.

Faith is seeing with the eyes of the heart. The man of faith knows that whoso surrenders himself to the Lord is always taken care of. The Lord provides where He guides. And His ways are most mysterious.

I read concerning a woman who lives in far-off England. She lost her husband and whatever little he left was spent on his funeral expenses. The widow, who had a son, had to work hard to earn her livelihood. One day, she received an old bill for a large amount. She remembered that the bill had been paid for already, but could not find the receipt. She prayed to God: Lord! Thou knowest the bill has been paid for. If I cannot produce the receipt, I may be asked to pay the amount over again and my coffers are empty! A few days later, the bill-collector came and threatened to sue her in a court of law, if the amount was not paid within a weeks time. In the heart of the widow was the prayer:

Deena bandhu deenaa naath,

Meri dori tere haath!

Just then, a butterfly entered the room through a window. The widows son chased the butterfly. It sat on the back of a sofa and crawled underneath. The little boy wanted the butterfly, and she asked the bill-collector to help in shifting the sofa. As the old piece of heavy furniture was shifted, a slip of paper dropped down. The picked it up and her eyes were wide open with amazement, as she found that it was the receipt which she searched. God honoured her prayer. The widow prayed: O Lord! Thou art, and Thy works are ever the works of mercy! Truly, Gods ways are most mysterious, and those that turn to Him never lack anything.

O foolish one, do not thank God for loving you. He cannot do otherwise. Thank Him for having ignited in your heart love for Him. Let it grow, from more to more, until it burns away all self, only God remains!

Practical suggestion number four is, never carry the tension of one moment to another. Has someone cheated you, robbed you, exploited you? Has someone made you feel angry? Have you spoken harsh words to him? After he has left, have you felt sorry? Or have you not felt sorry? Before you move on to attend to some other job or deal with some other person, pause for a while and relax in the thought of the unity of all life. You and every other unit of life, - you and that other person who has caused you to be angry, you and the animal, you and the plant, you and the chair in which you are sitting, - all, all are vibrant with the One Life. There is but One Life flowing in and through all. We are not apart from each other: we all are parts of the One Great Whole. This thought of unity of all that is cleanses us, ennobles us and puts a stop to the accumulation of tension.

Has someone harmed me? Has someone spread scandals against me? Have someone behaved rudely towards me? Let me forget it all, thinking of the unity of all life. I and he are not apart from each other: I and he are but parts of the One Great Whole. In this thought let me dissolve all my tensions.

Practical suggestion number five is, practice relaxation at least twice everyday. There is a simple yogic asana, called shavasana, the dead mans pose. You may learn it from a yogic teacher and, as you practice it, you will feel relaxed.

I have my own method of relaxing. I do no asana but, whenever I sit in meditation, whenever I enter into the depths of the silence within me, the first thing that I do is to relax. I imagine myself sitting at the Lotus Feet of the Lord. God, it is true, is formless: but for the sake of His devotees, the Formless One hath put on many forms. Think of any form of Lord that appeals to you, that draws your heart. Imagine yourself sitting at the Lotus Feet of the Lord, in the loving, immediate and personal presence of God, with your arms girdled round His ankles and rest your head at His Lotus Feet. At His Lotus Feet is true rest, true relaxation. In the loving presence of God all fears and frustrations, worries and anxieties, difficulties and dangers, impurities and distractions vanish as mist before the rising sun. You will feel relaxed.

I relax my body and mind, my will and feelings and emotions and the heart. First, I relax the body. I say to myself that the body is built up of five tatvas (earth, air, water, fire and ether): and so is the whole universe. The body then appears as a drop in the ocean of the universe, a drop of water bobbing merrily up and down the surface of the ocean, being buoyed up, sustained, and upheld by the vast expanse of the ocean. In such conditions the drop of water naturally abandons itself to the ocean. The drop lives a life of utter self-abandon. The drop the body, - is completely relaxed. Every muscle, every limb, every nerve of the body is relaxed.

I take up the muscles, one by one, I relax specially the muscles round the eyes and those round the mouth. Those are the muscles that are most difficult to relax. One by one, I relax the muscles of the body. Then I relax the limbs. I take up the limbs, one by one, - the neck, the shoulders, the arms, etc., - and say to them: "Let go, let go, let God!" As I let the limbs go, I feel that underneath are the Everlasting Arms. I feel as though I am sitting in the lap of the Divine Mother, and I feel utterly relaxed. The mind, the will, the feelings, the emotions and the heart are yet to be relaxed, before I may enter into true communion with the Highest. But more concerning this, some other day.

The last practical suggestion, suggestion number six, is: Help others. The others, as I said, are not apart from us. We and others are parts of the One Great Whole. No man is an island. We must not cut ourselves off from others. If we wish to live a healthy life, mentally, morally, spiritually, - we must be concerned about the welfare of others, specially our less fortunate brothers and sisters. The selfish man, - who is interested only in his own welfare and that of his near and dear ones, - is never a happy man. The happiness that we give to others, comes back to us. We all want to be happy. It is only when we go out and make others happy, that happiness flows into our own lives.

Some years ago, there came to me a young man. He was a bundle of tension. He was in jitters, for he had been jilted by the girl he loved. Frustrated with life, he was on his way to the railway station to throw himself underneath a running train when, as he said, the thought occurred to him to see me before committing suicide.

I said to him: My friend, will you do one thing for me?

At that moment I had with me a ten-rupee note. I passed it on him and asked him to purchase fruits, - oranges, sweet limes, plantains, - and take them to the poor patients ward in the Sassoon Hospital. Go and meet the destitute children there, I said to him. Those that have no one in the world to care for them, go and meet them, speak to them in love, look into their needs, give them fruits, then come and meet me.

After a couple of hours, he came back: he was a different man. He said to me: I never knew there were so many sufferings in the world! My sorrow is nothing as compared to the suffering I saw today. I have returned from the Hospital, convinced that life is not meant to be thrown away, but to be spent in the service of those that are in suffering and pain! I shall not commit suicide: henceforth I shall live as a servant of the poor and needy, the sick and afflicted, the forsaken and forlorn!

Look around you, my friends! You find, dont you, that the world is sad, is broken, is torn with tragedy, is smitten with suffering. Living in such a world, you must live to help others. The day on which we have not helped a brother here, a sister there to lift the load on the rough road of life, is a lost day, indeed. Therefore speak sweetly and gently with all. And to everyone who meets you, pass on the sunbeams of your smile. And the loving service you render will be to you as music at midnight.

(Author: Sri J P Vaswani)