H OW T O K EEP A H EALTHY LEVEL O F I NSANITY 1.

A T LUNCH TIME , SIT IN

YOUR PARKED CAR WITH SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT A HAIR DRYER AT PASSING CARS . S EE IF THEY SLOW DOWN . ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY ." FRIENDS YOU CAN ' T ATTEND THEIR PARTY BECAUSE YOU ' RE NOT IN THE MOOD .

8. D ON ' T USE ANY

PUNCTUATION MARKS

2. P AGE YOURSELF OVER THE INTERCOM . D ON ' T DISGUISE YOUR VOICE . 3. E VERY TIME SOMEONE
ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING , ASK IF THEY WANT FRIES WITH THAT .

9. A S OFTEN AS POSSIBLE , SKIP RATHER THAN WALK . 10. A SK PEOPLE WHAT SEX THEY ARE . L AUGH
HYSTERICALLY AFTER THEY ANSWER .

16. HAVE YOUR

COWORKERS ADDRESS YOU BY YOUR WRESTLING NAME ,

'R OCK H ARD

K IM'. 17. W HEN THE MONEY COMES OUT THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON ! I WON !", "T HAT ' S THE 3RD TIME THIS WEEK !!!!!" 18. W HEN LEAVING THE ZOO , START RUNNING TOWARDS THE PARKING LOT, YELLING "R UN FOR YOUR LIVES ! T HEY ' RE LOOSE !!" 19. T ELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER . "I' M SORRY BUT , DUE TO THE ECONOMY , WE ARE
GOING TO HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO ."

4. P UT YOUR GARBAGE
CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT

11. S PECIFY THAT YOUR DRIVE - THROUGH ORDER IS "TO GO". 12. S ING ALONG AT THE O PERA. 13. G O TO A POETRY
RECITAL AND ASK WHY THE POEMS DON ' T RHYME .

"IN"

5. P UT DECAF IN THE COFFEE MAKER FOR 3 WEEKS . O NCE EVERYONE

HAS GOTTEN OVER THEIR CAFFEINE ADDICTIONS , SWITCH TO ESPRESSO .

14. P UT MOSQUITO 6. IN THE MEMO FIELD OF ALL YOUR CHECKS , WRITE "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS ". 7. FINISH ALL YOUR SENTENCES WITH "I N
NETTING AROUND YOUR WORK AREA . P LAY A TAPE OF JUNGLE SOUNDS ALL DAY .

15. FIVE DAYS IN ADVANCE , TELL YOUR

20. R E -P OST THIS !!!