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6 Timeless Principles to Deal with Resistance and Excel in Life

By Celestine Chua
Peoplewho sayitcannot bedoneshould notinterrupt thosewhoare doingit. ~Chinese Proverb WhenIwasin juniorcollege,I wasntthebest student.Iskippedclasses,didntdomyassignments,andbarely studiedformytests.Needlesstosay,Iflunkedthoseexams. Afterafewmonths,IrealizedIdidntwanttocontinueonlikethis. IfIwantedtomakethemostoutofmylife,Ihadtofirstbe responsibleformystudies. SoIbuckleddownandsetouttoachievethebestresults.Itwasnt easyandImnottalkingaboutthestudyingpart.Therewas resistanceallaroundme.First,myschoolmateswerentthemost positivepeopleintheworld.

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Mycollegewasoneofthepoorerperformingschoolsthen.Many studentswerenthappystudyingthereasitwasnttheirfirstchoice. Theyoftendegradedthemselves,sayingweredoomedfor failure. Ifthatwasntenough,myteacherswerediscouraging,toobecause manyweredisgruntledaboutworkingthere.Theykeptcomparing uswiththestudentsfromschoolstheytaughtinbeforethebetter schoolssayingwednevergetanywhere. Idecidedtoignorethenegativityandspendmyenergyworkingon mygoals. Attheendofcollege,Iwasthetopstudentinmyclassandwon theMostImprovedStudentAwardbytheschool.Iwouldlater enteroneofthebestBusinessSchoolsinAsia,beaDeansLister inall3yearsofmystudy,andgraduateasthetopstudentinmy specialization. Ifyouhaveaspirations,youvedealtwithresistance,too,andwill dealwithmoreinthefuture.Hereare6personalprinciplestodeal withexternalresistanceandexcelinlife: 1.Thebiggertheresistance,thegreateryourpotential. NewtonsThirdLawofMotionstatesforeveryforce,thereisan equal,opposingforce.Itsthesameherenobigdreamsever cometruewithoutanequivalentformofresistance.Infact,the biggertheresistance,thegreateryourpotentialontheotherside. Thebiggestachieversintheworldgottowheretheyaretoday onlyafterovercomingendlessresistance. WheneverIfacearoadblock,ittellsmethisissomethingworth goingfor.Themoreroadblockstherearethebetter.Itjustmakes theendresultevensweeterwhenIovercometheseblocksand achievemygoals. 2.Obstaclesaretheretopreventyoufromgettingtothe otherside~RandyPausch InRandyPauschsTheLastLecture,hetalkedabouthow obstaclesexisttostopyoufromgettingtotheotherside.Theother sideiswhereyourgoalsanddreamsare.Justbecauseyouface

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obstaclesdoesntmeanyourgoalsarentfeasible.Itjustmeans youneedtotackletheseobstaclesfirsttogetthere. Theobstaclesareonlyatesttoweedoutpeoplewhodontwant theirgoalsenough,andguesswhatthatsnotyou.Youare betterthanthat. BackwhenIfacedresistances,Ineveroncethoughtmygoals wereimpossible.Iknewthiswasjusttemporaryanditwasa matteroftimebeforeIachievemygoals.Likewise,whatever resistanceyouexperienceisjustshortterm. 3.Obstaclesarethosefrightfulthingsyouseewhenyoutake youreyesoffyourgoals.~SydneySmith Areyouspendingmoretimestaringatyourobstacles?Ordoyou haveyoureyeslockedonyourdreams?Themoreyouspendtime thinkingaboutyourobstacles,themoreyouwillfeeloverwhelmed andnegative. Yourthoughtsareliketheseedsinyourmind.Thekindof thoughtsyouhavewillbearfruitsofthesamenature.Negative thoughtswillgiveyounegativefruits,whereaspositivethoughtswill giveyoupositivefruits.Doyouhavemorenegativeorpositive seeds? Spendmoretimethinkingaboutyourgoals,howtheyinspireyou, whyyouwantthemandwhattheymeantoyou.Thesewillgive youthefueltotakeaction. WhenIpursuemygoals,Idontthinkabouthowunfairtheworld is,whyIamfacingthis,orhowscaryanobstacleis.Theseareall disempoweringthoughts.IfocusonwhyIwanttodosomething andwhatitmeanstome.Theseempowermeandspurmeonto takeaction.

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Do I stay or go? Simple & complex 1 Everyone Has A Purpose In The Universe That Only They Can Fulfill. Been in love with my best friend for almost 4 years Can't Trust. Feeling Uncomfortable in a New Location What would I do if I knew I couldn't fail The High Art of Masterminding How to start over when there's no such thing What a mess!

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4.Lookatthesourceofthecommentsbeforeyouconsider them. Itseasytoletourselvesbeaffectedbyotherpeoplescomments. Whileyoushouldbeopentofeedback,youshouldalsofactorin wheretheyarecomingfrom. Whoisthepersoncommenting?Isthispersonslifethekindoflife youaspiretolead?Ifthecommenterisntdoingsowellinthearea heisadvisingon,maybeyoushoulddiscountwhathesaystoyou. Forexample,backinschool,oneofmyteachersadvisedusto settleandstopaiminghighbecausewewouldbesetting ourselvesupforfailure.However,whenIlookedatherlife,she wasinher50s,hadbeenworkinginthesamejobforover decades(whichwasfine,exceptthatshedidntseempassionate aboutherwork),unmotivated,andnegativeasaperson. ThiswasntthelifeIwantedtoleadformyself,andhenceI decidednottoheedwhatshesaid.ImgladIdidntbecauseit workedoutextremelywellforme. 5.Youdonthavetopleaseeveryone.Tryingtodosoonly makesyoumiserable. Itsinourinnernaturetobeinclusiveandmakeeveryonehappy. However,itsnotpossibletopleaseeveryoneanditsnotworthit totry. Allofusarediversewithourownopinions,beliefsandvalues,and

tryingtoconformonlyresultsinyoucompromisingonyourbeliefs. Dontbeafraidtodisagreewhereyouneedtoandstandupfor yourself.Itsallaboutlearninghowtodealwiththesecritical people. Ifyoufacepeoplewhoareoverlyresistanttoyourdreams, considerreducingcontactwiththemandspendingmoretimewith thepeoplewhosupportyou.Yourtimeispreciousspenditwith peoplewhoelevateyou,notpeoplewhopullyoudown. 6.Firsttheyignoreyou.Thentheylaughatyou.Thenthey fightyou.Thenyouwin.~MahatmaGandhi Afteryearsofpursuingmygoalsanddreams,Irealizedonething: peopleresistbecausetheyareafraid. Whentheyhearaboutyourgoalsandtheyobject,itsbecause theyreafraidofwhoyouareandwhatyoucanbecome.More thanthat,theyreafraidthatyoumightactuallyberightandthey havebeenunderminingtheirownpotentialallalong. ToquoteMarianneWilliamson,Ourdeepestfearisnotthatwe areinadequate.Ourdeepestfearisthatwearepowerfulbeyond measure. Donttakeresistancespersonally.Peoplewhoignoreyou,laughat you,orevenfightyoudosobecausetheyarescareddeepdown inside.Takeyourstanceandgoforwhatyoubelievein.Fightfor whatyouwant.Goalloutinyourpursuits. Aslongasyoukeepatit,itsamatteroftimebeforeyouachieve whatyousetouttodo.Ididthat,andIcontinuetodosoevery day.Youcannevergowrongaslongasyoudowhatyouloveto doandsetouttoliveyourbestlife.

About Celestine Chua

CelestineChuawritesatPersonal Excellenceonhowtoachieve personalexcellenceandliveyourbest

life.Getherfreeebook101ThingsTo DoBeforeYouDienowbysigningup forhernewsletter(100%free, unsubscribewheneveryouwant).Get herRSSfeeddirectlyandaddheron Twitter@celestinechua.

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17comments Leaveamessage...
Best JohnSherry 3yearsago Share

Resistanceisourcluetoprogress.Itisthebrakeson ourjourneytosuccess.Theroadblockenrouteto happiness.Yetitisourveryselvesthatresists,being naturallydrawntoholdupsandblockages.Wecreate them.Wemakethem.Ourresistanceisthefearof lettinggo,oftrustingweareenoughandknowingthat wearecapableofhandlingwhatliesahead.Andthatis oftentherewardsandspecialtimeswearescaredto accept.Resistanceisnotfutile,it'sfertile!

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MarkBrown 3yearsago

Thisisverygoodadvice.Itisimportanttonotethat obstacleareallperception.Thegreatestobstacleand thegreatestpowerwehaveisourthoughts.An mountaininthewaymayappeartobeanobstacleto one,whileanothersimplyseesitasanopportunityto getabetterview.

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CelestineChua MarkBrown 3yearsago

You'reexactlyrightMark.Ifweperceive obstaclesasopportunitiesinstead,we'llbeable tothrivesomuchbetterandachievewhatwe setouttodo.

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SamE.A.B.Russell 3yearsago

ThanksforanexcellentpostCelestine!Itcamejust whenIneededit) Kudos

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CelestineChua SamE.A.B.Russell 3yearsago

Noproblem,thanksalotSamandI'mgladyou findithelpful:D
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DipalH.Ejardar 3yearsago

Simple,informative,insightfulandeffective.You'rein fineformaseverCeles!Allthebestwithyourbook! Waitingforthesneakpreview) Regards, Dipal

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CelestineChua DipalH.Ejardar 3yearsago

ThanksDipal!Greattoseeyouheretoo:DThe sneakpreviewisalreadyout)Checkoutthe latestentryattheblog!

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Rafael 9monthsago

TinyBuddhareallyhelpsmesomuch...

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LoriDeschene Rafael 9monthsago

I'mgladthesite'sbeenhelpfultoyouRafael!

I'mgladthesite'sbeenhelpfultoyouRafael!

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Catherineof8WomenDream ayearago

Lovelypostandithelpedmegetclarityonsomething thathasbeenbotheringmethankyou. Catherine

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Camelus 3yearsago

Greatarticle!

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Jessica 3yearsago

Peoplewhosayitcannotbedoneshouldnotinterrupt thosewhoaredoingit.~ChineseProverb Thisproverbiswonderful.Ihaveovercomesomuchin mylifeandaccomplishedthingsthateveryonetoldme wasimpossible.Thisisagreatarticle,IwishIhadthis alongtimeago!! JessicaDurivage www.skin2skincare.com www.beautyatanyageisbeauty.com

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Janet 3yearsago

Greatpost!Ijustrecentlyfoundthisblogandyourpost isoneofthefirstone'sI'veread.Thisadvicereally resonateswithmeasIamdealingwithresistanceand lookingatwaystobreakoutofit.Sothanksforthe greatadviceCelestine.

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JeffS. 3yearsago

HeyCelestine, Greatadvice,thiswassomethingIneedtokeepmy minddisciplinedandgoingforward. IcanrelatewithbeingatJuniorCollegeandnotdoing well,atleastmyfirstyear.Yesitwasasetback,butI realizedthatIwantedtoaspiretodobigthings,andthat

therewasawholeworldofpotentialoutthere. Justoutofcuriosity,whatwasyourmajor? Sincerely, Jeff

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Robinmitchell 3yearsago

lovelyadvice

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Farah 3yearsago

Justliketheysay"keepyoureyesontheprise"

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MarkBrown 3yearsago

mysiteaddressistobeme.wordpress.com

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