Where your work meets your life.

Early Career
What You Should Chase
Instead of a Dream Job
by Lan Nguyen Chaplin
August 08, 2023

akinbostanci/Getty Images

Summary. There is no such thing as a “dream job.” A better goal to pursue is a

“sustainable and purposeful career.” In other words, a career that will keep you
going because it fits into your value system and longer-term goals. Here’s how to
get started: If you feel stuck in your... more

At age 27, I earned my Ph.D. and landed what most academics

(and I, at the time) would call a “dream job.” I was a marketing
professor at a Big Ten business school, earning a six-figure salary.
I worked with rock star colleagues, visionary leaders, brilliant
scholars, and enthusiastic students.

But less than a year into the role, I was ready to quit.

Outside of my fancy new title, I had begun to feel empty. In just a

few months, my identity had quite literally become “my job” and I
lost sight of the many things that fulfilled me outside of it. I didn’t
have time or energy for family and friends. Activities that brought
me joy, like running and lacrosse, went out the window. I traveled
for work instead of pleasure. I had no time to give back to my
community.
Instead, I jotted down research ideas on bar napkins, replied to
emails when everyone else was offline, and had a growing
portfolio of projects in development. I didn’t know how to
disconnect without feeling unproductive. For hours, I sat with my
laptop in isolation, working on research that might never be
published.

My institution didn’t expect me to work 70+ hours a week, but I

did. I didn’t know how to work any other way. As one of the few
Asian women on the faculty in the business school, I had
something to prove. Underperforming was not an option and so I
went above and beyond. To onlookers, and even sometimes to
myself, I appeared to be thriving. But residing within me, was a
deeper confusion (why wasn’t I genuinely happy?) and
embarrassment (how could I be so ungrateful to have a prestigious
job?)

In time, these questions pushed me to invest in therapy. After

months of self-reflection, I saw the problem: Shortly after landing
my dream job, I started to go through the motions. I did
everything it took to hold the job but I didn’t bring my unique
skills, passions, or background to the fore in a way that gave me
purpose. The things that came naturally to me — showing
empathy and concern for others, motivating students to realize
their potential, and finding ways to lift up underrecognized
communities — were not a part of my role. I wasn’t showing up as
my full self or crafting my role in a way that aligned with my
values. I needed a reason, beyond a paycheck or a prestigious title,
for working. I wanted to make a difference in the world.

Back then, in the early 2000s, feeling “purpose” at work was not a
priority for most professionals, and it wasn’t discussed widely
among people in my field. Before therapy, I lacked the vocabulary
to process what I was feeling. Once I found the words, everything
was different.

I didn’t quit. By the end of that year, I began to prioritize aligning

my work with my values. I wanted my career to fit into my life
instead of the other way around. I became the head coach of the
women’s lacrosse team at my institution, and discovered more
about the student body than I ever had in the classroom. I learned
many players were juggling families, sports, the arts, jobs, and
other commitments outside of school. This window into their
world inspired me to begin mentoring and practice more creative
teaching methods.

When lecturing felt unfulfilling and dry, I introduced the idea of

“play” to my students. I held chaotic Lego building competitions,
sent them around campus on team scavenger hunts, and hosted
relays at a local park to encourage real-life moments of support,
compassion, and teamwork. I redesigned my office hours to make
them more joyful and less transactional, allowing people to sign
up ahead of time for a short meeting with music and snacks. I
didn’t care that I was the only professor doing these things. I had
added my own flare to my role — as a professor, a researcher, a
coach, and a mentor.

Taking things into my own hands is what eventually made my job

feel “dreamy.” Twenty years later, I’m still pushing the limits of
what being a full-time professor can look like.

This is why, now, I encourage new graduates — particularly those

who are unhappy with their jobs or constantly in search of the
next best thing — to take things into their own hands, too. I
encourage them to replace the idea of a “dream job” with a
“sustainable and purposeful career.” In other words, to craft a
career that will keep them going because it fits into their value
system and aligns with their longer term goals. This isn’t always
the advice people want to hear, but in my experience, it’s the most
honest and achievable path to fulfillment.

If you’re feeling unhappy in your current role, and this sounds

like a path you want to take, here are four things you can do to get
started:

1)complacent.
Think about whether you’re trapped or being
You may have all the shiny markers of early success — a great
title, a big salary, and the respect of your peers — but if you’re still
left unfulfilled and uninspired, you may be caught in a career
trap. A career trap often happens when you get caught up in
meeting the expectations of others instead of fulfilling your own;
when you work so hard that you lose touch with your mind and
body; or when you don’t know how to prioritize self-care. It’s a
sign that you need to pause, reevaluate where you are, and reflect
on what changes will bring you joy and fulfillment.

As you reflect, be strategic. Before seeking a new opportunity,

consider whether your current job aligns with your purpose, and
if not, whether that’s something you can and want to change. For
example, is it your job that is unfulfilling or are you just going
through the motions, like I was? Can you take an ordinary task
and add your own flare to it? Or is there a deeper problem?

Sometimes bringing your strengths and self into your work can
release you from the trap of constantly trying to impress others.
On the other hand, if your role fundamentally misaligns with your
purpose, you may need to make a bigger change.

2) Remember that you are the architect for your career.

In the long run, you’re the person who determines what your
career looks like and what its foundation will be. But to build
something you’re happy with, you need to be in touch with
yourself. Consider the following questions:
 What do you do best with minimal effort, and how can you use
that talent to excel?
What do you not care to excel at, or what can you deprioritize?
What types of environments energize you and how can you
create them?
What are your unique strengths, background, and skills?
What are your core values (the personal principles that guide
you)?
What gives you a sense of purpose (the reason you do what you
do)?

Self-reflective journaling can help you answer these questions.

There’s no right or wrong way to do it either. Whether you write,
type, or draw, through the process of introspection and
documentation, you can gain more clarity on how you want your
career to develop. You may even have some breakthroughs that
help you work through confusing feelings around where you are
now, and what does and doesn’t feel good about your role.

I recommend journaling for your eyes only and doing it freely —

without self-judgement. This means imperfect grammar and
spelling, scribbling, or sloppy sketching should be given a pass.
Set aside the same time every day, even if it’s just for five minutes
to allow yourself to cathartically let loose.

3) Craft your role to better align it with your values.

Job crafting is basically redesigning your work responsibilities to
make your role feel more meaningful and fun. While you may not
have the autonomy to rewrite your entire job description, there
are likely things you can change to better leverage your unique
experiences, background, talent, and abilities. That’s job crafting
— making your position ideal for you (as opposed to trying to be
the ideal person for your position).

For me, adding the titles “lacrosse coach” and “mentor” to my role
as a professor was a form of job crafting. Bringing an element of
play into my lessons was job crafting, too. You can similarly make
your daily tasks feel less transactional and more purposeful by
changing your perception of your work.

For instance, let’s say that you’ve discovered you value building
deep connections with others. Rather than viewing meetings as
times you’re just sitting around, trying not to fall asleep, think of
them as opportunities to make friends. Show up early and get to
know your peers by asking about their hobbies and interests. You
can make small changes to any area of your job to align your
responsibilities more directly with the things that feel meaningful
to you.
As you craft your job, remind yourself to do more of what you
enjoy and less of what you don’t. You can’t avoid everything you
don’t like to do, but you can bring your personality to your job and
do things your own way.

4)“dreamy”
Don’t letit your
feels.job be your whole life — no matter how
When you work for the majority of your waking hours, your career
will inevitably morph into a part of your identity. While that isn’t
necessarily a bad thing, it can make you vulnerable to an identity
crisis if you burn out or lose your job.

No matter what you value, and how successful you become at

making your job “dreamy,” my last piece of advice is this: Don’t let
your job become everything you value about your life and
yourself. Allocate your time, look for joy and purpose outside of
work, and take time away from work to nurture yourself and your
relationships. Balance is what will ultimately lead to a fulfilling
life that your career is just one part of.

The best way to find balance at work is to look for companies that
value it. If an organization cares about your well-being, supports
your complete life, and gives you opportunities to craft your role,
odds are, you will do your best work there — even if it wasn’t the
dream job you had envisioned.

...
The moment you have found your dream job is the moment you
have stopped growing, evolving, and finding new ways to
experience joy in your role. Remember, you were hired because
you offer something the organization is missing. They need
change. They need you to bring your whole self to work, and that
means doing things differently with the added flare that is you. A
job that inspires you and gives you the space you need to be your
full self is the dreamiest job out there.

LC
Lan Nguyen Chaplin is professor of marketing
at Northwestern University, Medill School of
Journalism, Media, Integrated Marketing
Communications. She is also the founder
of QuanTâm, a nonprofit that creates
opportunities for young professionals to
expand their networks and sharpen their
professional skills while serving their
community.
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