You are on page 1of 7

Nguyen 1

Huyen Nguyen Kristen Foster CO 150.400 October 28, 2013 Is Cohabitation e!ore "arriage a #oo$ %ecision& 'ociety is $e(e)o*ing. +eo*)e starte$ to change their )i!esty)e in or$er to )i(e a ,ore satis!ying )i!e. -s*ecia))y in the ..'., *eo*)e )i(e ,ore o*en an$ ha(e a ,ore *ositi(e (ie/ on the changing o! so,e tra$itiona) (a)ues. For instance, ,any cou*)es go against the tra$itiona) ,arita) ,o$e) an$ choose to )i(e /ith each other be!ore ,arriage. I run into ,y ac0uaintances on the street so,eti,es, an$ they o!ten intro$uce their *artners to ,e as their boy!rien$ or gir)!rien$, but not husban$ or /i!e. It see,s *eo*)e no/ )i1e to ha(e this 1in$ o! re)ationshi* rather than being a ,arrie$ cou*)e. 'o,e o! ,y !rien$s e(en $eci$e$ to ,o(e out /ith their *artner an$ )i(e /ith one another /hen they 2ust reache$ eighteen, an$ ,ost o! the, sai$ they are ha**y /ith their current re)ationshi*. I 1no/ that to$ay, )i(ing /ith each other is a $e(e)o*ing tren$. It is a)so a goo$ choice !or cou*)e /ho /ish to be together but not rea$y !or ,arriage yet3 but I a, sti)) concerning about ho/ cohabitation be!ore ,arriage rea))y i,*acts an in$i(i$ua)4s )i!e. For this research *a*er, I $eci$e$ to *ursue a 0uestion, Is cohabitation be!ore ,arriage rea))y a goo$ $ecision& 5his to*ic is interesting to ,e because )i1e I sai$ ear)ier, cohabitation is a tren$ an$ so ,any *eo*)e !o))o/ it. 5here are a)so contro(ersies aroun$ this issue an$ the i,*)ications that co,e !ro, it.

Nguyen 2

First at a)), I /ou)$ )i1e to )earn ,ore about the *re,arita) status in the ..'., so I starte$ /ith a sur(ey re*ort /hich I !oun$ on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention /ebsite. 5his is a 200672010 Nationa) 'ur(ey o! Fa,i)y #ro/th about the !irst *re,arita) cohabitation o! 12,289 /o,en /ho age$ 15744 in the .nite$ 'tates. 5hroughout the re*ort, I4(e )earne$ that in the recent years, ,ore an$ ,ore /o,en ten$e$ to )i(e together /ith their *artner rather than to ,arry, /hich is :48; o! /o,en inter(ie/e$ in 200672010 cohabite$ as !irst union, co,*are$ /ith 43; in 2002 an$ 34; in 1995< =Co*en, 3>. 5he re*ort a)so *ointe$ out that the highest increase o! *re,arita) cohabitation !ro, 1995 to 2010 be)ongs to His*anic /o,en, es*ecia))y at age 25, /ith 58;3 ne?t is /hite /o,en /ith 43; an$ 39; !or b)ac1 /o,en. 5here /as not ,uch changing in @sian /o,en4s cohabitation rate =Co*en, 3>. @ccor$ing to the authors, the e$ucation 0ua)i!ication /as a)so a !actor o! *re,arita) cohabitation. 5hey state$ that, 80; /o,en /ho )i(e /ith their *artners be!ore ,arriage ha(e e$ucation )e(e)s o! high schoo) or )ess, /hi)e on)y 48; o! /o,en ha(e a bache)or4s $egree or higher. 5hose nu,bers that I4(e !oun$ out /ere a)) rea) high, but they $i$n4t sur*rise ,e /hen )i(ing together be!ore ,arriage has beco,e so *o*u)ar in our society. @!ter )earning so,e statistic o! *re,arita) cohabitation, I /ant to un$erstan$ ho/ co,e there /ere so ,any *eo*)e chose to )i(e /ith their *artner. In or$er to e?*)ain /hy the *re,arita) cohabitation rate /as c)ai,ing so high, I )ogge$ onto the Academic Search Premier searching !or :+re,arita) Cohabitation< an$ !oun$ an artic)e /hich ga(e ,e so,e reasonab)e ans/ers. 5he artic)e :+re,arita) Cohabitation an$ 'ubse0uent ,arita) stabi)ity< /as an aca$e,ic 2ourna) by %a(i$ %e AausBthe 'ocio)ogy *ro!essor at Ca 5robe .ni(ersity, Ci?ia DuBEesearch Fe))o/ an$ $e,ogra*hic tren$s ana)yst, an$ Euth FestonB+rinci*a) research !e))o/ hea$ing the Institute4s Fa,i)y an$ "arriage research *rogra,. In the artic)e, the authors in$icate$ that :the

Nguyen 3

increase$ ten$ency !or cou*)es to )i(e together be!ore ,arriage has been acco,*anie$ by a /i$es*rea$ acce*tance< =%e Aaus, 1>. 5hey a)so $iscusse$ that :the high $i(orce rates an$ the *erce*tion that ,arriages !ace high ris1 o! brea1$o/n< /as one reason that su**ort un,arrie$ cou*)es )i(ing together. It ,a$e *eo*)e choose to )i(e /ith their *artners be!ore they get ,arry to ,a1e sure that they are tru)y co,*atib)e =%e Aaus, 1>. I once sur(eye$ a !e/ !rien$s an$ as1e$ the, /hy so,e *eo*)e $on4t )i1e to get ,arry& "any o! the, ans/ere$ that it4s because *eo*)e are a!rai$ o! )osing !ree$o,, or they4re scare$ o! *ic1ing a /rong one. 5he other reason that I4(e !oun$ /as !ro, a (i$eo on Youtube, but it4s origina) !ro, Lifestyle MagazineBa *ro$uction o! Faith For Today te)e(ision an$ a non7*ro!it organiGation. 5he (i$eo is the inter(ie/ /ith %r. 'cott 'tan)ey, /ho is a researcher *ro!essor an$ co7$irector o! the Center !or "arita) an$ Fa,i)y 'tu$ies at the .ni(ersity o! %en(er. @ccor$ing to %r. 'tan)ey, a )ot o! *eo*)e ten$e$ to )i(e /ith one another be!ore they e(en rea)iGe$ it. In other /or$s, they starte$ to s)ee* o(er their *artners4 *)aces occasiona))y an$ then en$e$ u* ,o(ing in together an$ )i(ing together. @t the en$, ,any *eo*)e rea)iGe$ that they ha$ a rea))y har$er ti,e )ea(ing that re)ationshi* be!ore they rea))y $eci$e$ i! they /ant to be in that re)ationshi* =:Ci(ing 5ogether be!ore "arriage<>. 5he ,ain *ur*ose o! the inter(ie/ /ith %r. 'tan)ey is not rea))y to ans/er the 0uestion :/hy<, but !or the 0uestion o! :ho/ *eo*)e start to )i(e together be!ore ,arriage&< Ho/e(er, /hat %r. 'tan)ey sai$ has re(ea)e$ an issue that ,any *eo*)e to$ay are not $eci$ing to cohabit, instea$ they4re unconscious)y s)i$ing into this re)ationshi* /ithout any a/areness o! the conse0uences that can ha**en )ater on. @t !irst, I thought that *eo*)e )i(e together 2ust because they /ant to, but a!ter so,e researches, I !igure$ out that *re,arita) cohabitation /as a)so in!)uence$ by so,e e?terna) e)e,ents, not 2ust *ersona) *re!erences. 5here are ,any !actors that in!)uence$ the *re,arita)

Nguyen 4

cohabitation. 'o,e !actors encourage *re,arita) cohabitation /hi)e so,e $iscourage. Fhat I /ante$ to )earn ne?t is the !actors or the situations that ,a1e *eo*)e a(oi$ing cohabitation. ty*ing :Ci(ing 5ogether be!ore "arriage< into Academic Search Premier, I !oun$ the artic)e :Ci(ing 5ogether be!ore "arriage 'ta))s< /ritten by Nei) 'hah an$ *ub)ishe$ on The all Street y

!ournal in 'e*te,ber 12 o! 2013, ga(e so,e in!or,ation about ho/ the econo,y a!!ecte$ *eo*)es4 $ecision to )i(e together /ith their *artners be!ore ,arriage or not. 5his artic)e /as base$ on a stu$y by Hhenchao Dian, a socio)ogist at Ohio 'tate .ni(ersity. @ccor$ing to "r. Dian, :the recession in 200872009 $ro(e ,any young @,ericans to )i(e /ith their *arents an$ ,ay ha(e ,a$e )i(ing /ith ro,antic *artners ,ore e?*ensi(e. High une,*)oy,ent, stagnant inco,es an$ rising *o(erty )i1e)y a)so !ue)e$ instabi)ity in @,erican4s re)ationshi*s, ,a1ing cohabiting ,uch har$er< =0t$. in 'hah>. @nother !actor is that cohabitation has beco,e so co,,on an$ /as acce*te$ at so,e $egrees in the society, /hich ,a$e it turn into the sa,e *attern as ,arriage. 5o *ut it $i!!erent)y, un,arrie$ cou*)es )i(ing together no/ a)so re0uire res*onsibi)ity an$ co,,it,ent. It4s not 2ust a su*er!icia) re)ationshi* any,ore 2ust as "r. Dian sai$, :Cohabitation has beco,e a socia) institution, /hich co,es /ith e?*ectations an$ nor,s. @s the resu)t, so,e young ,en an$ /o,en ,ay be $iscourage$< =0t$. in 'hah>. 5here are sti)) so,e grou*s o! *eo*)e /ho $isagree an$ thin1 that *re,arita) cohabitation goes against their be)ie!s an$ re)igions. @s *eo*)e usua))y 1no/, Christians are usua))y strong)y against *re,arita) cohabitation. 5o un$erstan$ ,ore about this grou*s o! *eo*)e an$ the reasons /hy they o**ose this issue, I /ent to a re)igious /ebsite na,e$ The Christian Post an$ !oun$ an artic)e o! rittney Ai))a)(a, a Christian Post re*orter. In her artic)e, Ai))a)(a state$ that *re,arita) cohabitation cou)$ )ea$ to a )ess7)i1e)y7to7)ast ,arriage an$ ha(e negati(e e!!ects on chi)$ren. 'he cite$ a 0uote !ro, Nationa) Ee(ie/ e$itor Eich Co/ry that, :Chi)$ren in

Nguyen 5

cohabitation househo)$s ten$ to )ag =behin$> chi)$ren in intact ,arrie$ !a,i)ies on 1ey socia) in$icators an$ are not ,uch better o!! than chi)$ren in sing)e7*arent !a,i)ies< =0t$. in Ai))a)(a>. 'he a)so be)ie(e$ that )i(ing together be!ore ,arriage is not #o$4s Ca/ $ue to the )ac1 o! s*iritua) co,,it,ents /ithin this re)ationshi*. @nother grou* o! *eo*)e /ho are against un,arrie$ )i(ing together are @sian, es*ecia))y the *re(ious generations. "any *eo*)e be)ie(e that )i(ing together be!ore ,arriage ,ay increase chances o! $i(orce. For e?a,*)e, in the artic)e :'tu$y Fin$s Cohabiting %oesn4t "a1e a .nion Cast< /ritten by 'a, Eoberts that /as *ub)ishe$ on The "e# Yor$ Times in "arch 2n$ o! 2010, the author state$ that :cou*)es /ho )i(e together be!ore they get ,arrie$ are )ess )i1e)y to stay ,arrie$< =Eoberts>. Ho/e(er, there are so,e hy*othesis sai$ that things $o not a)/ays ha**en that /ay. y searching through the Academic Search Premier $atabase, I !oun$ the 2ourna) artic)e na,e$ :+re,arita) Cohabitation an$ "arita) %isso)utionI @n -?a,ination o! Eecent "arriage< by Fen$y %. "anning an$ Jessica @. Cohen. y using the co))ecte$ $ata !ro, the 200672008 Nationa) 'ur(ey o! Fa,i)y #ro/th, the authors ins*ecte$ /hether or not there /as a connection bet/een cohabitation an$ ,arita) $isban$ing. 5hey *ointe$ out that :*re,arita) cohabitation /as *ositi(e)y associate$ /ith ,arita) instabi)ity /hen /o,en /ere not engage$ to their s*ouses at the outset o! cohabitation. Fo,en /ho /ere engage$ an$ cohabite$ ha$ ,argina))y )o/er haGar$s o! ,arita) $isso)ution that /o,en /ho $i$ bot cohabit< ="anning, 382>. @ccor$ing to the artic)e, so,e grou*s o! /o,en /ho !ace$ higher ris1s o! ,arita) $isso)ution, such as :/o,en /ho /ere )ac1, ha$ a *re,arita) birth, ha$ )ess than a co))ege $egree, /ere raise$ in sing)e or ste**arent !a,i)ies, or ha$ ,ore than the ,e$ian nu,ber o! se? *artners< ="anning, 82>. 5he authors a)so ,entione$ that ,en ha$ to !ace the sa,e )e(e) o! ris1 o! ,arita) instabi)ity, /hether or not they /ere engage$ $uring the cohabiting *erio$, because

Nguyen 6

:cohabitation an$ being engage$ /as ,ore *rotecti(e against ,arita) instabi)ity a,ong /o,en than a,ong ,en< ="anning, 3>. @!ter )earning a )ot o! in!or,ation about *re,arita) cohabitation, I ha(e conc)u$e$ that this issue sti)) $e(e)o*ing strong)y in our society. Ci(ing together be!ore ,arriage can be a goo$ $ecision !or *eo*)e /ho /ant to e?*erience an$ in$irect ,arrie$ )i!e as /e)) as *eo*)e /ho /ant to ,a1e sure that they4(e !oun$ the,se)(es a right *artner. Ho/e(er, this issue a)so encountere$ a )ot o! o**osition !ro, the Christian co,,unity an$ so,e other grou*s in the society. I can4t say that cohabitation be!ore ,arriage is a goo$ $ecision or not e(en though it is no/ so,eho/ being acce*te$. It has both *ositi(e an$ negati(e si$es, an$ $i!!erent *eo*)e ha(e $i!!erent *erce*tion o! this issue. @ny/ay, I ,ay sti)) 1ee* researching about this issue because I sti)) ha(e so,e concern about it, such as I /ant to )earn ,ore about ho/ )i(ing together be!ore ,arriage goes against so,e @sian tra$itiona) ru)es. In ,y country, *eo*)e con$e,n un,arrie$ cou*)e )i(ing together. 5here are ,any 5A sho/s about the har,!u) e!!ects o! this issue. No one su**ort *re,arita) cohabitation. It is a)so har$ !or *eo*)e to acce*t their *artner i! heKshe )i(e$ /ith so,eone e)se be!ore. 5hough, things are $i!!erent in ,ost Festern countries /hen *eo*)e consi$er that )i(ing together be!ore ,arriage is nor,a). 5here!ore, I /ou)$ )i1e to $o so,e ,ore researches to )earn about the $i!!erences in cu)ture an$ in the /ay o! thin1ing o! Festerners an$ -asterners o! *re,arita) be!ore ,arriage.

Nguyen 7

For1s Cite$ :Ci(ing 5ogether e!ore "arriageL%oes It #uarantee Ha**iness&< YouTube. Mou5ube, 24 @*r. 2013. Feb. 10 Oct. 2013 Co*en, Casey -., %anie)s, Ki,ber)y, an$ "osher, Fi))ia, %. :First +re,arita) Cohabitation in the .nite$ 'tatesI 200672010 Nationa) 'ur(ey o! Fa,i)y #ro/th.<cdc%com% Centers !or %isease Contro) an$ +re(ention. 4 @*r. 2013. Feb. 14 Oct. 2013. %e Aaus, %a(i$, Du, Ci?ia, an$ Feston, Euth. N+re,arita) Cohabitation an$ 'ubse0uent "arita) 'tabi)ity.N Family Matters 65 =2003>I 34739. Academic Search Premier. Feb. 28 Oct. 2013. "anning, Fen$y %., Cohen, Jessica @. N+re,arita) Cohabitation an$ "arita) %isso)utionI @n -?a,ination o! Eecent "arriages.N !ournal of Marriage & Family 84.2 =2012>I 3887388. Academic Search Premier. Feb. 14 Oct. 2013. Eoberts, 'a,. :'tu$y Fin$s Cohabitating %oesn4t "a1e a .nion Cast.< nytimes%com% 5he Ne/ Mor1 5i,e Co,*any. 2 "ar. 2010. Feb 28 Oct. 2013. 'hah, Nei). :Ci(ing 5ogether e!ore "arriage 'ta))s.< all Street !ournal ' (astern (dition% 12

'e*t. 2013I @3. Academic Search Premier% Feb. 14 Oct. 2013. Ai))a)(a, rittney E. :Cohabitation be!ore "arriage on the EiseI %oes It Cea$ to etter Ee)ationshi*&< chistian)ost%com. 5he Christian +ost, 4 @*ri) 2013. Feb. 14 October 2013.

You might also like