Bottled Water vs.

Tap Water
Resubmission
Jeffrey Mueller
WORD COUNT 2245
CHARACTER COUNT 11710
TME SUBMTTED 20-NOV-2013 10:50PM
PAPER D 375404271
strong, arguable thesis.
um, i don't think this is correct.
ah, here's the
error, it's a
gallon.
counterargument:
but this is only in
Birmingham,
right?
bcs of which
kind of water?
It doesn't show
it's safer; it does
show it's better
regulated and
monitored.
alphabetize
QM
QM
FNAL GRADE
85/100
Bottled Water vs. Tap Water Resubmission
GRADEMARK REPORT
GENERAL COMMENTS
Instructor
PAGE 1
Text Comment. strong, arguable thesis.
PAGE 2
Text Comment. um, i don't think this is correct.
Text Comment. ah, here's the error, it's a gallon.
ContextuaIize Q Tell me who's speaking, to whom, about what, when, why. We call this
contextualizing.
PAGE 3
Text Comment. counterargument: but this is only in Birmingham, right?
spIit P This is at least two Ps. Each P should have a single topic. Split this P up and develop each
topic in its own P.
PAGE 4
Text Comment. bcs of which kind of water?
PAGE 5
Text Comment. t doesn't show it's safer; it does show it's better regulated and monitored.
PAGE 6
Text Comment. alphabetize
PAGE 7
PAGE 8
RUBRC: PERSUASVE ESSAY RUBRC
CONTENT:
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASC
DEVELOPNG
PROFCENT
ADVANCED
CONTENT:
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASC
DEVELOPNG
PROFCENT
ADVANCED
STYLE:
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASC
DEVELOPNG
PROFCENT
ADVANCED
STYLE:
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASC
DEVELOPNG
PROFCENT

Proficient
Content: Thesis
Thesis is unidentifiable or does not respond the prompt.
Thesis fits the prompt, is identifiable but vague, too broad, or unrelated to the essay.
Thesis fits the prompt, is clear and expresses an arguable, specific point of view.
Thesis fits the prompt, is clear, and expresses a specific, legitimately arguable, insightful,
point of view.
Proficient
Content: Connection to thesis
Essay has no coherent focal point.
Essay is not consistently or adequately linked to the thesis.
Essay maintains consistent and adequate connection to the thesis.
Essay maintains a connection to thesis with style.
Proficient
Tone
Tone usually suggests an absence of audience awareness.
Tone is often inconsistent or suggests misreading of the blog's broad but academic
audience.
Usually employs appropriate tone and language for blog's broad but academic audience.
Employs sophisticated tone and language for blog's broad but academic audience.
Proficient
Sentence-level Literacy
Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability.
Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability or otherwise distract from
meaning.
Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are few and do not distract from meaning.
ADVANCED
STYLE:
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASC
DEVELOPNG
PROFCENT
ADVANCED
ARGUMENTATON
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASC
DEVELOPNG
PROFCENT
ADVANCED
ARGUMENTATON
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASC
DEVELOPNG
PROFCENT
ADVANCED
ARGUMENTATON
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASC
DEVELOPNG
PROFCENT
Outstanding control of language, including effective diction and sentence variety.
Proficient
Citations
ncorrect or omitted citations.
Generally uses citations correctly.
Generally uses citations correctly.
Correctly uses appropriate citations.
Proficient
Conceptualization
deas not explained.
Typically explains concepts.
Develops concepts coherently.
Develops concepts with sophistication and creativity.
Developing
Support
nadequate, inappropriate, or irrelevant evidence.
Over uses or under-analyzes evidence.
Supports the thesis and paragraph claims with credible, relevant, analyzed evidence.
Supports the thesis and paragraph claims with well-selected and thoroughly, insightfully
analyzed evidence.
Proficient
Organization
Unorganized: no clear relationship between paragraphs or sentences.
Demonstrates some signs of organization, but occassionally includes abrupt or illugical
shifts and ineffective sequence of ideas.
Effectively ordered paragraphs are generally linked with useful transitions. Sentences
ADVANCED
typically flow logically.
Effectively ordered paragraphs are generally linked with useful transitions. Sentences flow
logically to persuade reader.