Harris 1

Shanelle Harris Dr. Grate Comp. 1/ Assignment 5 9/08/2012

Fair Game It was the third quarter. The two opposing teams didnt look like either of them was going to forfeit this game. The intensity had seemingly come out of nowhere and it was progressively building. This was a day that we all knew was going to come eventually. The chants got louder, only this time it wasnt from the crowd but from the teams themselves. As they got closer and closer to each other, I sensed something going terribly wrong. The looks in their eyes was one that I had never witnessed before. The level of severity and intensity that appeared was menacing in and of itself if the loud chants and slanderous phrases werent enough to instill some level of fear. All of a sudden, there was a fumble on the field followed by a loud CRASH. I didnt think that this was going to turn out to be a collision sport. Thats when I knew, as well as the other refs in the game that this wasnt going to end well. To many people around the U.S., February 6th was known as Super Bowl Sunday. I remember that day as vividly as any other. Sometimes I wish that wasnt the case. Earlier, we went out for a bite to eat to clear our heads. It seemed like everything was swell. Boy was I wrong. Gleaming and convincing facades seemed to be the tactic of choice at the time but I was just too nave. As we sat to eat, I tried to evaluate the underlying situation, if any. Hours before the chuck-like incident happened, everything was calm but tense. It wasnt the kind of tense you could slightly

feel. No. This was the type of tense that you could touch, the type that snuck up around your neck like a harmless snake and gently but painstakingly infiltrated your head and mind making it hard to fully encompass the issue at hand. Afterwards, the two teams and I had arrived at our place of sanction to huddle up and discuss a growing problem that was affecting not only their performance in games but also my ability to fairly referee what was going on in my own life. As the discussion took place, I had the thought that maybe we would be able to come to some sort of resolution concerning the problem at hand. I was actually hopeful because I felt like I had done my part in initiating reconciliation of an issue when I really didnt have to. The problem had actually started five months prior to their altercation but because of grave miscommunication on both ends it had escalated and dragged on. Being the young and ill-experienced referee that I was, I figured Id just let them work out their own issues and not get involved. Besides what could I do? I only carried with me maybe one-eighteenth of the knowledge that the two teams had. I couldnt exactly give my reviews on the subject at hand because my exposure to it was slim to none. Whatever it was that they were fighting over or couldnt see eye to eye on was definitely something that could be solved without my assistance, right? These teams were very experienced in how to play the field and how to make it grand and effective. Combined, their knowledge covered almost a centurys worth of rules and regulations and codes of ethics. I was confident in their ability to recognize a problem and get it solved the right way. I was confident in their ability to effectively communicate to one another so that nothing like their altercation would ever happen. I was also confident that even if an altercation

of that stature happened, they would realize the error in what they did and see how it was affecting not only them but me as well. The result of what went down ended with me being displaced into another location for about two weeks. During that time, I sat back and reflected upon what and how everything went wrong. No one could have told me that the ending to all of the madness, hostility, and silence would have come about like it did. The more and more I thought about it, the more I began to think that maybe it was my fault. After all, I didnt have to bring it up. Both teams knew that there was an obvious issue, it was just that neither one of them wanted to speak up first. To them it was easier to consult past coaches that had helped them through similar situations or find refuge and assurance in life-long and die-hard supporters. Whatever their reasoning for diverting the issue, I found it to be rather absurd. I had never been a believer in trying to find something to cover up your problems while the issue just drove deeper and deeper into you. I took it upon myself to kick-start a means of reconciling with the two teams. Besides, this was affecting me to. During those five months up until the day of the altercation, I had begun to feel isolated. I felt as if the whole ordeal could easily be solved but little did I know I had only seen the tip of the iceberg and nothing more. From that day on, sadness and pain had been my right hand men. The feeling I experienced on that day was one I can only describe as being a fish out of water. My environment had become so hostile that it felt like it was hard to breath. It felt as if any slight breath taken was a struggle by itself and just the mere thought of attempting another was suffocating enough. It was if both teams and I were walking on eggshells and I had stepped on one too many.

That day was honestly like nothing I had seen before in my life, and the timing couldnt have been worse. As a result of that, the duration of my displacement ended up lasting two weeks. Of course there were no replacement refs at the time so any other issue or had to be solved, reconciled, or blown over without my assistance. During my time alone, I took the time out to sit back and stop. Just stop. Stop trying to solve everything, stop trying to figure out everything, stop trying period. I finally came to the realization that I couldnt handle everything. Especially not this. This was something that I couldnt have ever fathomed even if I had the imagination of all the greatest story tellers in the world. In my mind, nothing of this caliber was able to occur. It just wasnt. I had lived in such an alternate reality that nothing extremely bad or even slightly or moderately bad was supposed to happen. Issues and altercations had just never been a norm for me and I never wanted it to be. But at the same time, when issues did arise I wanted to deal with it and get it out into the open. In a sense I guess that was my way of preventing anything alternate from deterring my seemingly ideal reality. Conflicts and confrontations werent exactly the two things that I welcomed with open arms but when they did arise, I was one that liked to hurry up and get it solved. Prolonged issues, I learned, can only do more harm than good. When two people have issues with each other, the ideal thing to do is to just solve it then and there. Holding onto something with all intentions of bringing it up later will never work out the way you plan it to. In a way, its an act of selfishness. To think that youre so upset that you cant look at the entire picture to see how your actions or lack thereof are affecting other people is a mindset that is not only frightening but its also ignorant. When there are multiple people involved, your actions or reactions should be looked at from all perspectives and in all different colored lights. In order to get to the root of an issue, you must first learn how to take yourself out

of the equation and look and see if theres an adverse effect on others around you. Sadly enough, that was a lesson I had to learn the tough way. That Sunday the Steelers were up against the Colts. The big and husky Ben Roethlisberger versus the mighty Peyton Manning only made for a very satisfying match-up. From what I vaguely remember, it sounded like a good game. Too bad it wasnt a fair game for my parents.