Getting Started in A New City

Beglnnlngs of a New 5oclal Clrcle
By LA2N\ & Braddock Loe Systems - www.LoeSystems.com 1

Beglnnlngs of a New
5oclal Clrcle
Wrltten by
Braddock
(edlted by LA2N)
1he Ultimate Guide to 1ext and Phone Game
Copyright 2009 Loe Systems, Inc.
All Rights Resered
www.LoeSystems.com
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lntroduction
Moing to a new city or rebuilding your social lie in your current city can seem like a
daunting task. lew things are tougher than the prospect o starting rom ground zero.
Moreoer, depending on where you are, while your new city may be busy and seemingly
bursting with opportunity, it might seem diicult to align yoursel into the slipstream o the
social low.
1he aims o this document are to aid you in your endeaor o building or re-building your
social lie rom ground zero, while incorporating the principles rom the Social Circle
Mastery lome Study product. \e will explore many o the initial steps you will take i you
are moing to a new city or hitting the restart button in your current city.
\ou will be proided with 10 tasks, which gradually get more diicult, to help you pae your
way to social circle mastery. Depending on your current social situation, and whether you`re
moing to a new city or rebuilding lie in your current one, some o these tasks may already
be accomplished. Nonetheless, the tasks sere as a great way to ealuate where you currently
stand.
One Bite at a Time
\hen tackling a new conquest, people oten hae the urge to take it all down at once.
loweer, as the saying goes, the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.` Like
anything else, building a social circle takes time. More than anything though, it helps to start
small and work your way up. Lssentially, you want to build upon goals, which get bigger in
scope the urther you progress.
So while your ultimate goal may be to personally know the owner o eery trendy nightclub
and bar in town, work on getting to know the door people irst. It`s good to hae large goals,
but don`t let them clout the importance o the smaller tasks at hand. \hen you take care o
the basics, you`d be surprised how many o the big goals accomplish themseles.
Have Iun!
It is important to iew the process o building your social circle as a fvv process. As we teach
with cold-approach, the second anything seems like a chore, your results will suer. \ou
should embrace the idea that you are on your path to bettering your lie, and bettering the
lies o those you choose to bring into your social network. I all else ails, keep in mind that
the rewards really are worth it. lew things are more rewarding than haing built a lie where
you are surrounded by high-caliber people who care about you.
1hat said, i you`re starting rom scratch, it will take signiicant work to get to that point.
\ou`ll ind though, that while it might be diicult in the beginning, as you start to gain
momentum, you social lie will begin to compound upon itsel. Past a point, when all the
oundations are established, new, high-quality people will naturally seem to low into your
lie. 1bat is the goal, so keep your eyes on the prize, and lets get started!
Task 1: Get to know the Neighborhood
\hether you lie in a big city or suburbia, it is a good idea to amiliarize yoursel with a
group o places near your residence. \hile you may not necessarily be going out on a lriday
night with Lou rom the neighborhood bakery, amiliarizing yoursel with the local
businesses does a number o things or you.
Social Proo: I you eer take a girl out somewhere, it`s pretty cool to seemingly know
eeryone you come in contact with. So while your relationship with Lou may not seem
to be intrinsically aluable` in itsel, the act that you know Lou, and eerybody else in
the neighborhood, speaks about the type o person you are and your oerall personality.
Cold-Approach Opportunity: I you are at one o your regular spots and happen to see a
cute girl, cold approaching her ater receiing recognition or the people that work there
will help your cause signiicantly. By knowing the workers, much o the creep actor is
remoed, and the riendly reactions rom the workers ,especially i they know you on a
irst name basis,, will transer oer to her reaction towards your approach.
Building State: \hen you`re going out at night, your night should actually begin in the
aternoon. Going rom not interacting with anyone all day to jumping into a social
setting can seem like going rom relaxing in a sauna to being thrown in a tub o ice. On
he other hand, i you pepper in interactions throughout your day, by the time the
eening comes around, you will ind yoursel in more o a social mood and ready to
meet girls you actually care about.
Lasy Practice: As we teach in our bootcamps, the ability to build and sustain normal,
organic rapport is essential to becoming better at meeting women ,and people in
general,. A large majority o this skill set is uniersal to all interactions, and as they say,
practice makes perect. By haing short conersations with the locals, you deelop your
conersational muscle` and hae the opportunity to work on the ine art o rapport
building and transitioning.
So how do you do it It`s simple: Lie your day the way you normally would, but search or
opportunities to meet and interact with others. So when Sam behind the coee counter asks
you how your day is going, instead o replying with the usual ine,` elaborate and try and
build conersation with him. \ou`ll be surprised how many cashiers, workers, store clerks
and waitresses are open to conersation.
Most o these workers will ind it rereshing that someone is actually interacting with them
beyond simply replying to boring questions out o social obligation. 1reat the ones that are
colder as yellow lights, and make it a challenge or yoursel to see i you can conert them to
greens. It`ll sere as a great lesson and practice on how to plow through a cold exterior to
open someone up.
Task 2: DeveIop a 5ociaI Routine
Get inoled in your community in terms o liing an actie liestyle and seeking out things
to do. It still surprises me how many people spend a majority o their ree time at home.
\hen you`re starting out, your home should primarily be a place o rest, not where you
lounge around all day relaxing.` \ith a little eort, you`d be surprised at how much you
can discoer to do in your hometown ,een i you lie in suburbia,.
lill \our Days: I you`re spending a majority o your ree time at home on the
computer, you`re not illing your days. Realize that lie is too short, and we already
spend 25 o it sleeping, so when we`re not, ocus on tirivg it. \hile we all need
alone time and time to relax, don`t use relaxing as an excuse or laziness and
inactiity. A good gauge to measuring the productiity o your day is by how tired
you are come bedtime. I you are collapsing into your sheets as opposed to going to
bed as orce o habit, you probably aren`t doing enough with your day.
Create an Actie Routine: luse your personal actiities to social settings. lor
instance, i cardio workouts are an important part o your lie, consider trading daily
outdoor running with a ew cardio classes at your local gym. Instead o sitting in
ront o the 1V all eenings o the week ater work, sign-up or impro classes, salsa
lessons etc. And while you`re attending these programs, start looking or
opportunities to build a social network.
Do vot treat the people you meet in these classes as cold-approach targets. 1he
beauty o a string o classes is that you know you will see the same people oer and
oer again. Instead, cultiate a good relationship, and ocus more on the riends and
social circle aspect o the people you meet. And i you ind a girl you`re really
attracted to, still remember to play it slow. In this case, time is on your side.
One-O Opportunities: Lxplore as many one-o opportunities as you can. In most
metropolitan cities, there is an endless supply o music estials, carnials, ood
estials, parades etc. that come through. It is much easier to meet people in these
enironments, as eeryone tends to be in a estie and happy mood. I you choose to
day game at these actiities, that`s ine, but keep yoursel open to the possibility o
ostering relationships or your social circle mastery purposes.
Become a Master o \our Domain: Many people lie blindly in the cities they reside
in. \hereer you are, there is bound to be a weekly local publication detailing the
eents and things to do in your city ,in the US, some o these publications include
1he Metro, L.A. \eekly, 1he New \orker, etc.,. 1he point is to get amiliar with
things you can do in your city. As you explore, you`ll begin to cultiate locations to
take girls on dates as well.
As you begin to build an actie routine, and i you make an eort to be social wheneer
possible, you`d be surprised how riends start to naturally seep into your lie. Remember to
be proactie though, no amount o actiities in the world will help you i you keep to
yoursel eerywhere you go.
Task 3: 5trength in Nunbers
\hile your journey to building your social circle may start solo, you will inariably need to
ind a core group o riends, or a social tree,` that you can call your own. Lssentially, your
social tree should include you and a ew other like-minded indiiduals with similar goals and
social aspirations.
Depending on your situation, it might be easier to start a new social tree resh instead o
attempting to merge your way into an existing one. 1he beneits o starting your own social
circle is that you hae the opportunity to lay ground rules rom the start, and each person in
it is iewed as an equal. On the other hand, the beneit o joining a pre-existing social circle
is that i it`s good, all the groundwork is done and you instantly link yoursel to an entire
network o people.
A core social tree o 4-5 people is ideal. Keep in mind it is vot necessary or eeryone to be
studied in game. In act, i eeryone aoe. know about game, you`ll likely hae to set up
ground rules so that your social circle doesn`t turn into a game den`. 1hat is, instead o
iewing your social tree as an assault team whose sole purpose is to pick-up women, you
want to hae the mentality that you`re all riends that are just ocused on making the most
out o lie and on haing a good time.
Creating a Circle from Ground Zero
I you`re starting rom ground zero, your best bet is to ind others who hae also recently
moed into the city, or others that are in transitionary periods in their lies. \ou`ll inariably
meet people like this i you build an actie routine ,1ask 2,, but other options you hae
include inding wingmen through bootcamps and,or the orums.
Note that just haing an interest in game is not necessarily enough to determine
compatibility or someone you`re considering bringing into your social circle. Game aside,
you`ll want to build your social tree with people you can see yoursel meshing with outside o
a pick-up enironment. Now i you`re able to ind guys that are into game, and who also
mesh well with your personality, then all the better.
Joining a Pre-Lxisting Circle
Joining a pre-existing circle is generally tougher, and typically requires you to deelop a
relationship with a gatekeeper,` or someone who will ingratiate you into the group. lrom
that point, it is in your best interest to start beriending others within the social circle one by
one, and slowly ingratiating yoursel within the group as a whole.
\hen joining a social circle, deinitely ao vot treat any o the girls the way you would in a
cold-approach setting. In act, it might be a good idea to go a couple months without
actiely hitting on any particular person in the circle. \our goal is to be a cool, un guy that
they enjoy hanging out with. Once you start getting regular calls rom arious people in the
social circle to come hang out, you know you`re in.
By LA2N\ & Braddock Loe Systems - www.LoeSystems.com
Task 4: 5etting Ground RuIes
One o the biggest beneits rom starting a social tree rom ground zero, besides being on
equal ooting with eeryone in it, is haing the opportunity to deelop a set o ground rules.
1he ground rules and pre-raming that is setup rom the start will go a long way in ensuring
the sustainability and longeity o your social tree. 1he most common way or a social tree to
implode is when small pet peees and annoyances build up oer time and reach a boiling
point.
Additionally, setting ground rules also proides a great opportunity to highlight the things
you like about the people in your new social tree. Lach person will inariably hae their
strengths that beneit the group, and positie reinorcement is the best way to keep eeryone
doing what they do best.
lere are a ew ground rules to consider during your meeting. Others might apply, but these
are some concepts to help get the ball rolling:
\inging: I your social tree includes guys that hae not studied game, it is particularly
important to go oer wing rules ,you don`t hae to use game terminology to get the
points across,. Lssentially, explain the idea that he who goes up to the girls gets his
irst pick, and explain the general concept o how to wing in a set, and how not to
steal the spotlight upon entering the group.
O-Limits: lae a discussion on which girls are completely o limits. I you all lie
in an apartment building together, it might not be the best idea to get in relationships
with the girls liing down the hall, especially i they can sere as social connectors to
a whole another network o hot girls. In your discussion, include riends, sisters, ex`s
and whoeer else you would not particularly want your riends hooking up with.
Boundaries: It`s a good idea to quickly go oer the things that each o you can`t
stand, as well as other small things that annoy you. Many times, the things that annoy
you may not be an issue or someone else and ice erse. By haing a clear
understanding o eeryone`s likes and dislikes, it`ll help tremendously in naigating
through your interactions amongst each other.
Non-Judgment: No one likes to be judged. Setup a rame so that uture
conersations within your social tree regarding the quality o girls you guys interact
with are lighthearted. \hile it may be the dream to pull 10s on a nightly basis, it is
ineitable that not eery girl you go ater will be the hottest on the planet. 1hat said,
there should be a collectie eort to push each other outside o your respectie
comort zones, and to push the boundaries on the quality o girls you all typically go
ater.
Game: I you and all your riends are aware o game, it could easily become the only
subject you guys talk about. Instead, make some sort o loose rule, which limits the
amount o game talk you and your riends partake in. 1he last thing you want is or
game to be the one and only discussion point within you social tree. \hile game may
be a big part o your lie, it should not be your lie.
Task 5: FaII into the LjBF Zone a Few Tines
\hen you`re starting out, you should realize the importance and opportunity that comes
with alling into the let`s just be riends ,LJBl, zone. \hile it might be irritating i you hae
been pursuing a particular girl or a period o time, or i you`re out on a cold-approach
crusade, but alling into the LJBl zone is not always a bad thing.
Cold-Approaching to Make Iriends
\hile it may suck to lose girls to the riend zone ,typically a symptom o not enough
physical,erbal escalation and sexualization,, when you`re in the process o building your
social circle, it may not actually be a bad idea. In act, it is a good idea to go out a ew nights
a week with the primary goal o cold-approaching to make new riends.
Beliee it or not, most girls do not typically go out with as strong o an agenda as most guys,
and are open to the idea o meeting new riends. lence, i you and the core group o guys
you hang out with come o as cool, unny and interesting, there is deinitely a possibility
that the girls would want to hang out with you all in the uture.
Making Iriends vs. Getting Laid
\hen you`re cold-approaching to make riends, your standards are slightly dierent than
they might be i you were cold-approaching to get laid.
Social Connectors: Social connectors, or indiiduals who are connected to networks
o many others, are the best type o people you can meet throughout the night. Keep
in mind that social connectors do not necessarily hae to be attractie, since it is
many times the case where less attractie guys and girls otentimes hae many hot
riends. It is important to note that the social connectors do not necessarily hae to
be girls either.
Group 1heory: In this context, you`re going to want to spend more time ingratiating
the group, instead o ocusing on just picking out one target. More importantly,
when you open the group, instead o narrowing down and isolating your
conersation to the girl you`re most attracted to, reocus your attention on the
person in the group ,guy or girl,, that seems to be either the leader or the most
social.
lraming: I you do get isolated with a social connector, make an eort to rame
yoursel into the riend zone so there is no conusion as to your intentions.
Lxamples o doing this include telling her about you great riend John` who would
be a perect match or her.
Meet-ups: \hen you go or the meet up in the uture, send inites under the rame
that you ava ,ovr frieva. are going out, and that she ava ber frieva. should come meet
you guys. I you`re actiely spending a ew nights a week cold-approaching to make
riends, you can easily send out such an inite to at least a couple groups a week.
Task 6: Create a Prized Venue
As you start going out more, you`ll want to take time to inest in building a couple prized
enues. A prized enue is a place where you hae been to regularly and know a majority o
the working sta. Prized enues sere a number o purposes, and in a social circle mastery
context, hae the capability o making it much easier to meet new people. Ideally, you will
want to setup two types o prized enues, one where you go to meet new people, and
another where you bring girls to or dates.
Prized Venues to Meet New People
\our irst ocus should be setting up a prized enue at a bar or club where you can regularly
meet new people. In general, you and the riends in your social tree should scope out a place
that regularly seres the types o people you are interested in dating and becoming riends
with. lor the most part, these enues will typically include larger bars and clubs, some o
which may hae a meatmarket` eel. Regardless o your preerence, aim to ind a place that
caters to a large olume o people, as your goal is to expand your social circle and meet new
riends.
Prized Venues for Dates
1he second type o prized enue is one you would use or dates. Unlike the prized enue
you use to meet people, the place you use or dates should be much more laid-back and
typically smaller in size. It deinitely does not need to be somewhere that is trendy and
diicult to get into, and you will generally want to pick a place that is near your home ,or
obious reasons,. 1he prized enue you use or dates can also be the place where you and
the people in your social tree go out to just relax and decompress.
The Iood Chain
Once you`e scoped out locations to deelop as your prized enues, most o your legwork
will be in getting to know the arious leels o sta. \ou generally want to work your way up
the ood chain:
Door Sta: 1he door sta is generally the irst set o people you`ll get to know.
\hen you are in line or the enue, take the opportunity to practice building rapport
and transitioning with the door sta. At a high-end location, getting to know the
people who work the door can be ital towards getting into the enue on a regular
basis. Plus, people notice when you`re able to cut the line.
Bartenders: \ou generally want to get to know the bartenders on a irst name basis.
A good way o doing this is to tip ery well or your irst drink eery time you go.
laing the bartenders proide you special attention can make all your isolations or
shots more impactul, especially i the bartenders are hired guns.
Promoters: Depending on the city you lie in, promoters may be the controlling
actor in your city`s mainstream nightlie ,such is the case in Los Angeles,. In these
cities, getting riendly with the promoters can mean easy entrance into the best
enues, ree access to tables and a consistent entourage o pretty girls to party with.
loweer, since promoters are constantly meeting new people ,their lielihood
depends on their ability to bring the party,, they tend to be ery laky, and in many
cases, extremely diicult to get sticky with.
Manager: Once you`re able to start introducing others to the bar manager ,especially
at a high-end place,, your perceied alue in the enue begins to skyrocket. It will
suddenly become easier to meet others within the enue, and you will notice girls
eyeing you and your riends more consistently.
Owner: 1he highest leel o sta you`re able to beriend is the owner himsel.
Knowing the owner proides access too all o the perks aboe, as well as the general
prestige o knowing the guy who runs the show.
Developing Prized Venues to Meet New People
At the lower leels o the ood chain ,doorsta, bartenders,, the key to building relationships
is being able to build interesting rapport. Most o this leel o sta are generally neglected
and used only or their serices. As such, it`s rereshing when someone remembers them by
their irst name and can bring a ew moments o good conersation.
Len i you hae a great memory, take notes o the things you talked about with the arious
sta members, and ocus on coering as many unique topics as possible. 1hen the next time
you go to the enue, reiew your notes, and when you see a particular sta member,
reerence something you two spoke about the last time you met. 1his is probably to astest
way to orge a connection with members o the sta.
1he higher up the chain you go ,and depending on how trendy the enue is,, you will
typically need to bring more alue in order to deelop a sticky relationship. In most cases,
especially or promoters, bringing attractie girls rom your extended social network to the
enue is enough to get you going. \ou will ind that haing these girls as part o your
extended social tree tends to make all leels o social circle mastery signiicantly easier.
Initially attending the enue as regularly as possible will also build a signiicant amount o
goodwill with all leels o the ood chain. 1he arious leels o sta, rom the door person
all the way up to the owner appreciates steady clientele, and een the hottest bars and night
clubs hae their pool o regulars.` Being slated as a regular can also make getting into the
enue on a consistent basis vvcb easier.
Developing Prized Venues for Dates
Deeloping a prized enue or dates is much less cumbersome. Since there usually isn`t the
concern about getting in, it is typically much easier to get to know all leels o the sta. All
you really need to ocus on is initially attending the enue on a somewhat consistent basis,
and striking up interesting conersation with as many members o the sta as possible. By
doing this, you are bound to meet and deelop riendships with most o the workers.
Task 7: 5etting up your Pad
As you deelop your social circle, you will ineitably start haing riends oer. \our home,
whether you like it or not, is an extension and relection o who you are. And while it may
not be absolutely necessary to hae a decked out home in order to get laid, it sure doesn`t
hurt. Moreoer, i you`re serious about building your social circle to its maximum potential,
you will eentually want to hae your home sere as one o the hubs or your social tree. I
your place is the usual pre-party or ater-party spot, you will deinitely meet more people.
laing an awesome home also has spilloer eects into your game itsel. lor instance, girls
you bring home will eel more comortable in a well kept home, and the thinslice you get
rom girls you take on dates is better ,side note: wheneer you take a girl on a date, you
should hae her come up to your place or at least a ew minutes so she can isualize where
she`ll be going when you go or the pull,.
laing a nice home does vot mean you hae to be liing in a mansion or in a gated
community. Rather, it means the interior o your home is well kept, and that it doesn`t look
like a dirty rat house ,unless o course, you`re in college and lie in a rat house,. Most girls
would agree that a modest but cool` apartment is more appealing than a mansion with a
sloppy or empty interior.
1here are our key elements that go into haing a home that is guest-riendly:
Seating: Make sure there is enough seating. \ou don`t necessarily need one seat or
eeryone person that`s coming oer, but as long as at least hal o the people oer
aren`t orced to stand, you`re alright. \hile chairs work, consider couches, which are
more laid-back, along with utons and possibly een beanbags.
Music: \ou`ll want to hae an updated playlist with party music and laid-back music.
\ou don`t necessarily need a 12-speaker sound system, and iPod player or a set o
decent computer speakers will work just ine. 1o ind up to date music, isit the
website o your local 1op 40`s radio station, and there should be a section with songs
that the station regularly plays. lrom there, procure the music howeer you see it ,,.
Drinks: lor pre-parties, the bare minimum you want to hae is beer, hard alcohol
and chasers ,i.e. orange juice, soda, Redbull,. Ideally though, it`s best to make a un
drink or the eening. Inest in a blender and or your hard alcohol and chasers, opt
or tequila,rum and margarita,pina-colada mixers ,with ice cubes and coconut
shaings,, and you`re in or a un night. Alternatiely, you could create jugs o party
drinks such as jungle juice or scorpion bowls. 1he idea is to do something slightly
dierent rom the norm, which will go a surprisingly long way.
Clean Bathrooms: \ou want to make sure your bathroom is immaculate. lew things
will gross a girl out more than a disgusting bathroom. Make sure your toilet is clean
and unstained, and that you hae a ull stock o toilet paper. Also make sure the
bathtub,shower is clean, with no noticeable mold o gunk growing anywhere - girls
look!
Task 8: Host Events
Once you get the ball rolling on laying the oundations or your social tree, it`s a good idea to
start integrating yoursel as a ocal point in your deeloping social circle. 1he best way to do
this is through hosting eents either by using your place as a hub, or by initiating outings
amongst your riends.
Using your Place as a Hub
1he easier o the two is to use your place as a hub. Lssentially, your aim is to hae your
home be a regular location or certain eents. lor instance, your apartment could be a pre-
party meeting point, a place or ater-parties, or where you and the guys meet up to watch
Monday night ootball.
Another option is to host one-o eents at your house. 1his could range rom a laid-back
lourth o July barbeque to a ull-blown lriday night pool party. In this case, you`re looking
to associate yoursel with un times, while haing the opportunity to be in the spotlight, and
to showcase the cool sides o your personality. Remember, time - shared experiences ~
relationships.
Regardless o the eent, turning your home into a central meeting point amongst your social
tree will signiicantly increase the stickiness you hae amongst your riends, and will urther
root you in with the tree itsel. 1his holds particularly true i you are joining a pre-existing
tree instead o starting a new one rom ground zero.
Initiating Outings
I you choose to ollow the path o initiating outings amongst your social circle, you are
essentially taking on the role o a social connector. As such, you will be responsible or
iguring out where the good places to go on which nights are, and then subsequently
working to get your riends out.
1he most challenging element o initiating outings is managing eeryone`s schedule and
motiating eeryone to go out. I you`re starting your social tree rom resh, this should be
an easier job ,as you`re all bound to be more ired up about going out,, than it would be i
you`e joined a pre-existing tree. Moreoer, the social repercussions o a ailed or bad outing
in a pre-existing tree are greater.
Prerequisite Stickiness
In each o the aboe cases, you will need to make sure that you hae the prerequisite
stickiness to sere as host. 1hat is, you hae to be close enough to enough people in the
social tree to ensure success. Again, this holds especially true i you are joining a pre-existing
social tree. \ithout the prerequisite stickiness, the probability o lakes increases
signiicantly. lor instance, i someone you and your riends met a week ago tried to get you
all to come out to a certain enue on lriday night, there is a good chance meeting up with
him wouldn`t be too high on anyone`s priority list.
Task 9: FiIIing your 5ociaI Parking Lot
In Social Circle Mastery, there is the concept o a social parking lot. A social parking lot is
the metaphorical space where riends whom you no longer contact as requently are
parked.` I you think through your past, you undoubtedly hae riends you hae parked in
your social parking lot oer the course o your lie. Many o the reasons or parking a riend
are otentimes natural, and may typically include:
Geography: A major transitioning point or social circles takes place when you moe
away, be it or college, a new job, or just to try something new. \hen you change
geography, you will most likely lose contact, or hae signiicantly less contact, with
your riends back home, which you might hae otherwise seen on a daily basis.
Interests: As you continue to grow and mature, your tastes and preerences continue
to eole. lriends you may hae shared eerything in common with in the past may
hae ew similarities with you at this point in time. Nonetheless, you may still be
close with them, een i your tastes and preerences hae changed, but you might not
be hanging out with them as much as you used to.
lamily: I you or whateer reason need to spend more time at home or with amily,
this can certainly limit the amount o ree time you hae to hang with certain riends.
1his can be or a ariety o reasons, be it an upcoming wedding, helping your sister
with her new baby, or an illness in the amily.
\ork,School: Depending on where you are in your proessional trajectory, work or
school may take away time rom being with riends that you might hae seen more
regularly when you had more ree time. Again, this is not necessarily unhealthy, and
is a natural by-product o being a productie person.
As you begin to rebuild your social circle, you will want to start taking a more actire role in
managing your social parking lot. 1hat is, you will want to reduce the amount o time around
riends who are bad` inluences on you. In other words, i someone is not conducie to
your becoming the social person you want to be, it is not the best idea to spend a majority o
your time with that person.
Moreoer, you will ind that as you start accomplishing your social goals, some o your
riends may not like the new person you are becoming. Perhaps they are uncomortable with
the act that you now actiely seek out interactions with girls, or perhaps they liked it more
when they could square you away as the guy who wasn`t a sexual threat. In some cases, the
idea o misery loes company` comes into play, and your riends may not like you breaking
the silently agreed mold o collectie unhappiness.
In any case, you hae to be honest with yoursel and identiy who is helping your cause, and
who is sering as a detriment to your growth. \hile you may park these riends into your
social parking lot, it does vot mean that they are no longer your riends, nor does it mean that
you are no longer close with them. It simply means that at this point in your lie, because o
your new interests and the things you are pursuing, you just don`t hae as much time to be
around them as you once did.
Task 10: ExpIore Merger PossibiIities
Once you hae made decent headway in establishing your core social tree, you should begin
looking into branching out and making connections with other social trees. \ou will ind
that once you hae a core group o cool riends, other trees, which may hae been
inaccessible in the past, hae suddenly become merger possibilities.
Types of Mergers
A merger does not necessarily hae to be a complete usion o two social trees. In act, in
most cases, a merger is simply riendships between both trees on a multi-dimensional scale.
1hat is, arious people in each o your trees deelop riendships with arious people in the
other trees.
Loose: A loose merger is typically deined as two social trees, which hang out when
the opportunity presents itsel. lor instance, i you and another group o riends
requent the same enue eery 1uesday, oer time, you will deelop a loose
ailiation with members within the group. And while you may not call upon the
group at any gien moment to come hang out on a Sunday, these trees present
opportunities or expansions in the uture.
Medium: A medium merger is typically either a conersion o a loose merger, or a
group where at least two people in your core social tree hae become close with two
people in their social tree. Conersions rom loose mergers typically happen i you
inite the group to a one-o eent you may be hosting at your house ,i.e. a birthday
bash, a pool party, etc.,, where there is still a party enironment, but also
opportunity to deelop stronger bonds.
Rooted: A rooted merger is when there are close relationships between three or
more core members within each o the social trees. Otentimes, there will also be
one couple between the tress that has been dating beyond a casual period. At this
leel, the two trees start to blend, and it becomes a ery normal thing or both
groups to regularly hang out.
Solidifying Mergers
A majority o the loose mergers tend to happen naturally as a byproduct o liing a social,
outgoing liestyle. I you`re going out with your social tree on a regular basis and ocusing on
haing un ,and not just on cold-approaching to get laid,, you are bound to start meeting
arious groups o people on a regular basis.
1hus, most o the work` you and your social tree will take part in is in conerting the loose
mergers to medium ones. As mentioned aboe, this is primarily done through initing a
loose merger somewhere else, such as a one-o eent you and your riends are hosting.
Make sure the inites are ery causal ,i.e. a mass text, you guys should come by,` etc., as
opposed to setting irm times and dates. As with most conersions o loose ailiations, you
should manage expectations and be prepared or lakes.

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