Six Styles of Love

Eros Ludus Storge Mania Agape Pragma

Eros (erotic)passionate, romantic love

Erotic lovers fall in love early in a relationship Love is very intense and passionate The erotic lover wants to share everything with and know everything about the loved one The erotic lover thinks of his/her partner in an idealized manner The erotic lovers reaction to criticism from his/her partner is one of hurt and intense pain The erotic lovers reaction to separation from the partner is agony and despair

Ludus (ludic)love as a game

Ludics have a very self-oriented approach to love Ludics minimize dependency and commitment They rarely or never become overly involved with one partner and often have more than on partner at a time They dont reveal their true thoughts and feelings to their partner, especially if they think they can gain some kind of advantage over their partner Usually want sex (plenty of it) for pleasure Reaction to criticism from the partner is indifference Reaction to separation form the partner is immediate replacement

Storge (storgic)love as friendship or companionship

Storge love develops slowly It grows out of mutual understanding, rapport, respect, companionship, sharing, and concern It is not characterized by high levels of ecstasy and excitement (as is eros), but is a solid, stable, enduring love Reaction to criticism from partnergive and take, compromise, constructive problem solving Reaction to separationfeelings of emptiness and loss

Mania (manic)is obsessive, jealous, and addictive

Manic lovers are obsessive, jealous, irrational, possessive, and consumed by thoughts of their lovers They need constant attention, affection, and togetherness Love is very intense They frequently put love to the test for the sake of reassurance Their reaction to criticism from partnerdefensiveness, hypersensitivity, and sometimes violence Their reaction to separationinstant panic

Agage (agapic)kind, unselfish love

Agape love is altruistic The agapic lover gets more pleasure from giving in a relationship than from receiving The apapic lover is very forgiving, patient, understanding, loyal, and willing to make sacrifices for his/her partner Their reaction to criticism form the partner willingness to change or compromise Their reaction to separation from the partner sense of loss and emptiness

Pragmais a very pragmatic or practical approach to love

It is very logical and realistic Pragmatic lovers are self-oriented Their reaction to criticism from the partnerdefensive, analytical