The Way to a Happy Married Life

The Way to a Happy

Married Life
Shaikh-ul-Arab Wal-Ajam Arifbillah
Hazrat-e-Aqdas Maulana Shah Hakeem
Muhammad Akhtar Saheb
(dmat baraktuhum)
Khanqah Imdadia Ashrafia
Gulshan Iqbal, Block 2
Karachi, Pakistan
www.khanqah.org
1
Table of Contents
1. Dedications ...................................................................................................................2
2. Preface .........................................................................................................................2
3. Introduction ..................................................................................................................2
4. Khutbah ........................................................................................................................3
5. Taqwa ..........................................................................................................................4
6. The Power of Allah Taala ................................................................................................4
!. "a#il$ Plannin% &ot &ecessar$ ' Allah Taala Pro(ides ........................................................5
). The *i%hts of In'+aws .....................................................................................................6
,. *e#ed$ for An%er ..........................................................................................................!
1-. Parents *i%hts ..............................................................................................................,
11. The *i%ht of Teacher .....................................................................................................,
12. A .erse Pertainin% To the Khutbah of &i/ah .....................................................................,
13. 0ood 1haracter ..........................................................................................................11
14. &i/ah is 2unnat ..........................................................................................................12
15. The *i%hts of 3usbands ...............................................................................................12
16. +enienc$ towards 4i(es ..............................................................................................13
1!. The Dan%ers of 5ein% +ured b$ 4o#en .........................................................................14
1). 6utual *elations .........................................................................................................14
1,. 1usto#ar$ 4eddin%s ..................................................................................................15
2-. 4ali#ah ....................................................................................................................16
21. A *i%ht of the 4ife ......................................................................................................16
22. Do &ot Kee7 8our 4ife Tense 9:nder Pressure; ..............................................................1!
23. Kindness to 4i(es .......................................................................................................1)
24. 5e 1ontent with 8our Partner .......................................................................................1)
25. The 5eaut$ of a 6usli# 4ife in <annat ..........................................................................1)
26. 3ow the *i%hteous Treat Their 4i(es ............................................................................1)
2!. Duaa ........................................................................................................................1,
1. Dedications
All the writings of this humble servant are in reality due to the combined blessings of the company of our spiritual
guides:
Muhyius-Sunnah Hazrat-e-Aqdas
Maulana Shah Abrarul-Haq Saheb
rahmatullah alaihe
and
Hazrat-e-Aqdas Maulana Shah
Abdul Ghani Saheb houlpoori
rahmatullah alaihe
and
Hazrat-e-Aqdas Maulana Shah
Muhammad Ahmad Saheb
rahmatullah alaihe
------
Muhammad A!htar
aafallahu anhu
2. Preface
The Way to a Happy Married Life
Shai!h-ul-Arab "al A#am Arifbillah Hazrat e Aqdas Maulana Shah Ha!eem Muhammad A!htar Saheb $%amat
&ara!aatuhum'
Translated by:
(ousuf Gundiwala
)irst *dition
+uly ,--.
Published by:
/hanqah 0mdadia Ashrafia
Gulshan 0qbal1 bloc! ,
/arachi
3. Introduction
2n )riday the ,3th of Muharram1 4544 corresponding to 46th August 4..-1 a 7i!ah was performed at Mas#id Ashraf1
/hanqah Gulshan 0qbal1 /arachi1 with a lot of simplicity and according to Sunnat8 Hazrat Aqdas Moulana Shah
Ha!eem Muhammad A!htar Saheb $damat bara!aatuhum' very often gives lectures about the evils of wedding
customs in a most loving manner1 through which many brothers have attained the taufeeq $ability' of performing
their children9s 7i!ah according to the Sunnat method1 thus leaving out the traditional family customs8 Hazrat
Moulana Shah Ha!eem Muhammad A!htar Saheb $damat bara!aatuhum' mentioned that by the blessing of acting
upon the Sunnat1 one is saved from many problems1 whereas if this wedding would ta!e place in some hall then
thousands $of rupees' would have been wasted on hiring the hall1 decorating it1 feeding and many other customs
which are done for show1 and the burden of sin would be a separate thing8 &y acting on the Sunnat1 there are great
benefits of %een but even worldly benefits are tremendous1 thus achieving peace and contentment8 &efore the
7i!ah1 Hazrat wala gave an effective lecture on the mutual rights of husband and wife and living together1
substantiating points from the :ur9aan and the Ahaadith from which the listeners benefitted greatly and showed an
urge to have this lecture published for the benefit of others as well8 arents are advised to give this boo!let to their
children at the time of marriage8
Translators Note
;his boo!let was originally printed in <rdu1 but for the benefit of the *nglish readers1 it has been translated into
*nglish8 May Allah accept it and may it be a cause of great benefit to the Muslim <mmah8 Ameen8
4. Khutbah
_ _ ___ . __o>
_,,_> _o> _ _,._ _,,_> _, . _ __ >
co_. ,..l V_| .o. V __.s. _> s. . _ l
> ._ _> e_> _. _ ,s> _ , s. _. l . U
,_ ,, c c_| > __ c:l .. _ s. :l._. ,_. V>_ o._ .
, _a ,ol , __ _. V s. . _ l . U
_. o_ _. . U o,_L s . __ ,.>
__._ _, __... ._c o __... _ __. ,. _, _ U. U
. . l __ _. ,Ll c_| ,. _, _ U. U
. .o.. _c_| . . .ol c_| __ elo ,. _, _ U. U
o_ _a ,. _, _ U. U __ ,_ _ ..o.. _
_c o,_. cl cl ._>l V a o_ c l c l ._>l ,,_. _a
&efore this illustrious gathering have 0 recited the !hutbah pertaining to the rights of husband and wife along with
the verses relative to marriage8 )our verses of the :ur9aan and four Ahaadith of =asulullah $salellaho alaihe
wasallam' have been recited in your presence8 0 will now elaborate thereon in the sequence with which they were
recited8 ;his1 in Arabic is termed1 >af-o-7ashr meaning involution and evolution in which a series of epithets or
predicates follow a series of sub#ects8
5. Taqwa
Allah ;a9ala states1
__.s. _> s. . _ l
2 believers? )ear Allah as He has to be feared8
)rom this1 one learns that to fear Allah a little is not sufficient1 so fear Allah by attaining perfect piety8 ;he
question arises what is perfect piety8 )or this1 we have to refer to the commentaries of the great commentators and
not #ust understand it through our intellect8 Hazrat Ha!eem ul <mmat has mentioned the commentary of this verse
in &eyaanul :ur9aan as
_ o . C_. ,.. ,.. o
@2 believers? +ust as you have repented from !ufr and shir!1 so must you stay away from all sinsA8
2ne who has stayed away from /ufr and Shir! but does not save himself from sins has not feared Allah ;a9ala fully8
2ne has not fulfilled the right of fearing Allah ;a9ala as He deserves to be feared8 )earing Allah as He deserves to be
feared in this conteBt means @+ust as you ta!e precautions and stay far from /ufr and Shir! so too must you ta!e
precautions against the commission of sins8 rotect yourselves from sins8 Abstain from all sins and die only on
0slam8A
(co_ . ,..l V_| .o. V)
@And let death not find you but in the state of 0slam8A
;his is the translation and commentary of the very first verse recited8
6. The Power of llah Ta!ala
0n the second verse1 Allah ;a9ala states
(_. l)
@2 man!ind1 2 people of the world99
;his is an address directed to the entire human race wherein Allah ;a9ala is instructing them1
(, s.)
@)ear your SustainerA
(e_> _ . _ , s> _)
@"ho created you from one lifeA8
". #a$il% Plannin& 'ot 'ecessar% ( llah Ta!ala Pro)ides
0n the commentary of this verse1 Ha!eem ul <mmat Hazrat ;hanwi $rahmatullah alaihe' eBplains that Allah ;a9ala
has enumerated three forms of creating His servants1
(e_> _ . _ , s> _)
He has created all of you from one life source from your ultimate forefather1 Hazrat Adam $alaihis salaam'8 Hazrat
Adam $alaihis salaam' in turn has been created from dust1 from soil without the agency1 without the intermediary of
parents1 without the outwards means and causes8 Hereby has Allah ;a9ala demonstrated: He is not in need of1 He is
not depended on means and causes8 0f He so chooses1 He creates life from lifeless earth8 ;herefore1 2 people of the
world? )ear such a >ord1 such a Sustainer1 and such an All-powerful Master8 ;his then is the first form of creating1
from inanimate to animate1 from lifeless to life8
)urther1 it is stated
(> ._ _>)
@And from this life form He created a partner8A
)rom Adam $alaihis salaam' Allah ;a9ala created a partner1 a wife and companion for Adam $alaihis salaam'8 ;his is
the second form of creating8 0f Allah ;a9ala so wills 1 He creates a living being from a living being without the
meeting of spouses1 for Hazrat Hawwa $alaihis salaam' was created from the rib of Hazrat Adam$alaihis salaam'8
Allah ;a9ala further states1
(:l._. ,_. V>_ o._ .)
And from this pair $that is Hazrat Adam and Hawwa' "e created innumerable men and women8
;his is the third form of creating and is the system1 the method of procreation until the %ay of :iyaamah8 )rom this
humble pair were transmitted the seeds of humanity until the entire planet has become populated with hordes of
humans1 all of whom are being sustained and provided for by Allah ;a9ala8 ;hus1 family planning and sterilization
are absolutely unnecessary8 ;hat Allah "ho is capable of infusing the soul within the body is without doubt more
then1 capable of providing the meager fair to sustain that body that bears the soul1 for more valuable then
sustenance is the soul8 0f food is in great abundance and is readily at hand and doctors1 physicians and specialists
are also in attendance but the solitary soul soars though the s!ies1 all the food in the world and all the eBperts in
preserving life are at loss1 they are totally incapable of returning the soul to the bare body8 Cery unnecessarily and
foolishly do the /uffar remain preoccupied with the quest of food8 Mufti Shafi Saheb $rahmatullah alaihe' has aptly
written an amazing point of reference8 *very year without fail1 millions of sheep1 goats1 buffalos1 and cattle are
slaughtered for :urbani in spite of which these animals can easily be acquired8 ;here is never really any shortage8
"hile dogs and pigs are not procured for slaughtering and which nonetheless are born in litters as opposed to
:urbani animals1 which are born in pairs at the most1 yet one always sees floc!s of these animals compared to the
former1 which have no bara!at8 &y slaughtering in the name of Allah1 bara!at is generated8
A Hindu once argued that Muslims are very hard-hearted because they mercilessly draw a blade across the throat of
animals8 ;he reply to this argument was furnished by Hazrat Ha!eem ul <mmat ;hanwi $rahmatullah alaihe' who
stated1 @(ou resort to snapping the nec! of animals which cause it even more suffering and pain8 "hile we upon
reciting the blessed name of Allah ;a9ala provide a dose of chloroform which cause the animal to become
intoBicated by the beloved name of Allah ;a9ala8 0t is in this state of ecstasy that it gives up its life8A Such is the
ecstasy inherent in His beloved 7ame8
_, . , .,
_, > ., cs.
Allah1 Allah? How beloved is the name8
0t is the intoBicating drops of lovers8
;he condition of the Sahabah $=adhiallaho anhum' was such that upon being struc! with an arrow in the heat of
battle1 they immediately eBclaimed1
_ _. .
<pon the oath of the >ord of the /a9abah1 0 have attained success
<pon the name of Allah1 every difficulty is transformed into ease8 ;his is why it is farz or compulsory to learn the
love Allah ;a9ala8 "hat can 0 say to adequately eBpress the #oy and pleasure to be derived upon learning the love of
Allah ;a9alaD
*. The +i&hts of In(,aws
Allah ;a9ala further states1
(> __ c:l .. _ s.)
@E8And 2 people? )ear that Allah by whose 7ame you demand your mutual rights8A
0t is the 7ame of Allah that you use as an intermediary1 as a means1 as a lever to accrue the rights due to you8 "hat
does one say when a customer fails to pay for goods provided on creditD 2ne tends to plead in Allah9s 7ame1 saying1
@lease1 for Allah9s sa!e1 in the 7ame of Allah1 0 as! you to fulfill the debt you owe to me8 )ear Allah and give me
my due8A
Allah ;a9ala at this #uncture is telling us to fulfill the rights of family and relatives1 by remembering the 7ame of
Allah we present for demanding our own rights8 )ear the non-fulfillment1 the usurpation and destruction of their
rights8 *nsure that you do not fall short in observing the due rights of wife and children1 of blood ties8 "hat is
meant by1 D Most people understand the connotation of to mean only one9s parents1 brothers and
sisters1 paternal and maternal grandparents etc8 eBcluding the wife9s immediate family8 ;his is why 0 am resorting
to an eBplanation of this verse which has been given by Allama Aaloosi As-Sayyid Mahmood &aghdadi $rahmatullah
alaihe' in his commentary1 =oohul Ma9aani8 0 am also quoting the Arabic teBt so that the learned scholars can also
appreciate and en#oy it8 Meant by 1
_:l ._. __> _ _... __> _ :_ _>V_ o
@&y blood relatives1 are those who are directly related to one as well as those who are related through the wife8A
Among them are the mother and father of the wife who are termed as mother-in-law and father-in-law as well as
her brothers who are called brother-in-law8 ;he term used in ersian1 /husr means !ing while the <rdu term is
Susar8 ;he brother-in-law is called 7isbati &hai or brother though the relationship of marriage8 Fommonly used is
the term saalah which our &uzurgaan-e-%een prevent us from using for it is a!in to a term of vulgarity8 Fonsider now
the amount of respect one is taught for one9s in-laws8
;hus1 meant by blood relatives are one9s own as well as the wife9s immediate family8 0f perchance they happen to
be in a crisis1 they go hungry while one fills his stomach1 one will surely be questioned about it on the day of
:iyaamah8 Given the means1 one will1 by serving one9s poor in-laws receive the same reward as serving one9s own
parents8 eople are well aware of and readily fulfill parent9s rights and serve them with respect and honor8
=emember honoring the in-laws is #ust as meritorious as honoring one9s own parents8
%o not1 over petty issues reign with an iron fist8 0f the mother-in-law happens to be ill1 one9s wife is nursing her and
tending to her needs and comfort1 and she requests that one allow her to stay for a few days more1 do not adopt a
high-handed attitude and refuse8 %o not become insulting and harsh by telling the mother-in-law1 @After marriage
your reign over your daughter has ended8 %on9t you !now what Allah states in the :ur9aanDA He says
(:l ._. c U>_)
Men are in authority over women
Amazing how well you have memorized this verse as if you are Moulana of the age8 @0 am in authority8A 0s this
authority or mercilessness and unworthinessD Such a person9s character is mean and lowly8 0f one9s own parents
were ill1 how would one deal with themD ;herefore1 deal eBactly the same manner as one would deal with one9s
own parents8 %isplay mercy8 0f need arises1 coo! your own food or eat out8 ;reat you mother-in-law in the same way
as you would your own mother1 have mercy? Foo! your own food if your wife stays one more day with her mother to
serve her1 what harm will there be8 "hat? Has the one who brought up her daughter for siBteen years1 no more
rights left after 7i!ahD ;his is against the spirit of mercifulness and is real hard heartedness8 =ather1 immediately
say1 @(es1 very well1 !eep her for four more days instead of two days8 "hen you are better1 0 will ta!e her bac!8A
Also1 come bac! to as! about your mother-in-law9s welfare and help in serving her8 She has given you her daughter1
a piece of her heart1 and you have attained her for nothing8 (ou do not have mercy on her as you ought to have8
Amazingly enough1 if your son-in-law troubles your daughter you run immediately to a eer Saheb for taweez1 to
sub#ect him to your daughter and that he must listen to her and fulfill all her demands8 0t is not even permissible to
have such a taweez made8 Surely1 the amount that the Shariat permits should be fulfilled8 So remember? 2 people
who are see!ing taweez1 your wife is also someone9s daughter8
-. +e$ed% for n&er
0f you are a hot-tempered person1 get taweez for yourself8 =ecite ,,> o> ,.seven times and
blow onto the food so that when the other family members also eat this food1 they too will remain safe from anger8
=ecite the same and blow on the water used for coo!ing8 0nshallah the whole household will have a merciful spirit8 A
person who has this realization that he needs a taweez for his anger is at least a human1 because he realized it8
A few months ago1 a person wrote a letter from +eddah stating that there is always quarrel and fighting ta!ing place
between wife1 my children and me8 *veryone is suffering from anger8 0 wrote to him to recite o> ,.
,,>seven times and blow onto the food8 ;ogether with this1 everyone should recite _, _.,
, c, whenever one remembers1 but as much as one can tolerate8 )or those who suffer from intense
anger1 they should miB glucose1 a lemon and three spoons of hus! in a glass of cold water and drin! it daily8 ;he
heat and intensity eBperienced in the state of anger will subside8
After a month1 the same person wrote that the entire house has become the embodiment of peace and tranquility8
Anger is a very dangerous thing8 ;hrough it many homes have bro!en8 A man came !noc!ing at my door at twelve in
the night1 saying1 @0 divorced my wife in anger1 now that the anger has cooled 0 cannot sleep feeling sorry for my
little children and missing my wife terribly8A 0 told him1 @&ecause you have shot all three arrows of divorce at once
you must now face the consequences8A ;his man said1 @0 did it in anger8A ;o which 0 replied1 @"hether you utter
these words in anger or happiness it ta!es effect8A Another point to learn here is that anger is very shrewd8 HowD
2ne man weighs a hundred !ilograms and says to someone who is wea!er than him1 @move out of my way1 0 am
getting mad with anger8A However1 another man arrives on the scene who weighs a hundred and fifty !ilograms and
is much stronger1 now this hundred-!ilogram man says1 @sorry sir1 forgive me1 0 made a mista!e8A ;his shows that
anger is ta!en out on one who is wea!er than oneself8 2ne who remembers Allah ;a9ala9s Might and ower will not
go out of control in anger8 A Sahabi was beating his slave1 =asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' saw him and said1
_, C._ C, _
Allah has more power over you then you have over this slave
;he Sahabi $radhiallaho anho' said1
,. _, _ U. >_
@0 turned around and saw that it was none other than =asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam'
;he Sahabi then said1
_ _>_ >
@0 free this slave for the sa!e of Allah8A

<pon this1 =asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' said1
. C.>
@Had you not freed this slave1 the fire of +ahannam would have wrapped itself around you8A
So remember the Might of Allah when you get angry8
;here is a Hadith to the effect that:
,_s . . c .
2ne who controls his anger1 Allah will save him from His punishment on the day of :iyaamah8
Hazrat Abu &a!r $radhiallaho anho' got very angry with his cousin for some reason8 Allah ;a9ala informed him
through His Messenger $salellaho alaihe wasallam'
(, _ a c c_>. V)
@2 Abu &a!r1 would you not love $to forgive this servant of Mine who has ta!en part in the &attle of &adrD' And 0 will
forgive you on the day of :iyaamah8A
<pon this1 Hazrat Abu &a!r $radhiallaho anho' too! an oath
__ a c ._> _._ _
@&y Allah? 0 love that Allah forgives me $0 too forgive my cousin9s mista!es'A

2ne person got very angry with his wife because there was a lot of salt in the food1 but then he remembered Allah
and decided not to say anything to her8 Secretly he said to Allah1 @2 Allah1 she is my wife and (our bondswoman
too8A ;his is what people forget8 Men who have oppressed their wives have suffered severe calamities in their life8
;he punishment of oppression is very sever8 ;herefore1 this person1 whose wife had put too much salt in the food1
forgave her8 "hen he passed away1 someone as!ed him in a dream as to how Allah ;ala treated him8 He replied that
Allah had reminded him about his tolerance about the cooling of his anger upon his wife1 for putting too much salt
in the food8 ;his he had done to please Allah8 )or this1 he was forgiven8 Hazrat Moulana ;hanwi $rahmatullah alaihe'
narrated this incident in his lecture8 ;herefore1 one should be very careful in matters of wives1 children1 parents
and relatives8
1.. Parents +i&hts
&e very fearful concerning parents9 rights8 %o not blabber to them out of anger because their curse affects a person
to eBtent that one does not die without first suffering the punishment in this world8 0t is mentioned in a Hadith of
Mish!aat Shareef that one who troubles his parents will never die without first being punished8$Mish!aat p85,4'
0 met a very pious man in &ombay who had pus falling from his fingers and was affected with leprosy8 "hen 0
inquired about it1 the man replied1 @0 committed a grave mista!e in that 0 shouted at my mother ta!ing my wife9s
part1 while the two of them were having an argument1 my mother cursed me that 0 should get this illness and that 0
should not be able to attend her funeral1 and both things have materialized8A 0 have witnessed this incident with my
own eyes8 ;herefore1 be very careful concerning parents rights8
11. The +i&ht of Teacher
Another point to bear in mind is the rights of one from whom one has learnt %een8 %o not1 till the end of one9s life
dash his rights to the ground8 Some display independence1 in that they no longer maintain contact with the teacher8
Some disappear for a month or two1 others for much longer1 even to the eBtent of years8 =emember to fulfill the
rights till the end of life of one from whom one has learnt even a single letter8 Hadhrat Ali $radhiallaho anho' states
c _., > _.o
@2ne who has taught me a single letter has enslaved me8A
0mmaterial of the circumstances that prevail1 even though one9s teacher1 one9s spiritual guide scolds and
reprimands one1 never bear malice in one9s heart towards them8 0f at times they are harsh with one1 do not bear
enmity against them8 Fonsider their reprimands1 their scolding as being part of one9s treasure in the quest for
Allah9s love8 0f1 for one9s reformation1 one is scolded by an Allah wala1 consider it to be an investment in the
account of love for Allah which He will definitely record8 ;he love1 which is for the sa!e of Allah1 is a true love
12. /erse Pertainin& To the Khutbah of 'i0ah
>isten now to the third verse recited in the 7i!ah /hutbah:
(_. V s. . _ l)
2 believers? )ear Allah ;a9ala and Spea! clearly and correctly
Attain piety in every wal! of life and choose the path of obedience8 And when you spea!
(_. V )
Spea! clearly and correctly
Fonverse in such a manner in which love is maintained and all matters remain pleasant8 %o not go over the limit1 do
not approach the boundaries of arguments and fights8
(,o l , __)
Allah ;a9ala will accept your good deeds
0n all the commentaries , __ has been translated as _s., 8 0n the commentaries li!e =oohul Ma9aani 1/haazin as
well as &ayaanul :ur9aan of Ha!eem ul <mmat Mu#addid ul Millat along with the other commentaries1 state the
meaning of , ol , __ -as meaning
,_...> _s.
Allah ;a9ala will accept your good deeds
;he literal translation of the verse is1
(,o l , __)
Allah ;a9ala will rectify your deeds

However1 this will be an incorrect translation8 0t is for this very reason that literal translations of the :ur9aan
Shareef with a dictionary are not permissible8 0f anyone were to say1 that it is the right and prerogative of all and
sundry1 of every professor of every college to sit1 translate1 and comment on the commentaries with the aid of a
dictionary1 there can be no greater ignorant than him8 ;his is so because the commentary of =asulullah $salellaho
alaihe wasallam' can be the only true one8 =asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' was taught by Allah ;a9ala through
the agency of Hazrat +ibraiel $ alaihis salaam' and he in turn taught his students1 the Sahabah $radhiallaho anhum'8
;herefore1 one will have to turn to the Sahabah to determine what commentary was made by =asulullah $salellaho
alaihe wasallam' and to translate it accordingly8 ;hus1 the consuming desire possessed by doctors and professors to
sit with dictionaries in hand and resort to translating the :ur9aan defeats logic and intelligence8 0t is "a#ib or
compulsory to rectify this misconception held by such people8 Hadhrat Abdullah 0bne Abbas $radhiallaho anho'1 who
is termed as the head of all the commentators1 eBplains1 , ol , __ to mean ,_...> _s.8 ;hus1 he did not
give the literal meaning of the verse at hand as meaning1
(,o l , __)
Allah ;a9ala will rectify your deeds
but resorted to the eBplanation heard directly from =asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' which was1
(,_...> _s.)
Allah ;a9ala will accept your good deeds
"hy was this translation1 this eBplanation resorted toD Hazrat Ha!eem ul <mmat $rahmatullah alaihe' in the
footnotes of &ayaan ul :ur9aan stated1
Vs c >_ c >_ _o cV
@"hen your actions will become good they will be accepted as well8A
;herefore1 the performance of good deeds necessitates acceptance1 in that one who is accepted will be able to
perform good deeds8 "hen will one be able to perform good deedsD "hen sincerity is attained1 when actions are
performed for the pleasure of Allah8 )rom this we learn as well that one who is eBcessively involved in arguments
and fights at home or for that matter a woman in the same position1 places in danger the acceptance of good deeds8
2n the other hand1 one whose speech is embellished with sweetness and softness en#oys another bounty of ;aqwa1
(,.> , _a)
@Allah ;a9ala will forgive your sins8A
(o,_L s . __ )
@And one who obeys Allah ;a9ala and His =asul will become successful8A
13. 1ood Character
;he fourth verse recited was1
_.o_ _.
$A2 people of the world? (our Freator is advising you to' establish good conduct with your wives8A
"ho can be more degraded1 who can be low than one who fails to heed the intercession of Allah ;a9ala8 ;hese are
the words of Ha!eem ul <mmat $rahmatullah alaihe'8 0 say nothing from my own side8 "hatever 0 relate is from my
elders8
Ha!eem ul <mmat ;hanwi $rahmatullah alaihe' is informing us that in this verse Allah ;a9ala interceded on behalf of
wives so that their husbands approach them with eBemplary character8 0f the chief of staff1 the commissioner of
police1 the highest-ran!ing general in the army were to intercede on behalf of one9s wife with these words1
@=emember1 your wife is my daughter9s best friend1 they were school mates8 0f you happen to ill treat her
remember that 0 am the chief of staff1 the commissioner of police1 the highest ran!ing general in the army8A How
will one1 under such circumstances act when dealing with his wifeD He will constantly as!s her1 @0s everything in
orderD 0 hope that 0 am not upsetting you in any way8 0mmaterial of what happens1 !indly ensure that you do not
complain to those who intercede on your behalf8A
0n this case1 it is none other than Allah ;a9ala1 who is interceding on behalf of His bondswomen with these words1
_.o_ _.
@Approach your wives with eBemplary character8A

She may be your wife but she is also My bondswoman8 &ear this constantly in mind8
"ho can be worse than one who ignores Allah ;a9ala9s intercession1 who turns a blind eye to the intercession of his
Freator and treats his wife despicably by causing untold difficulties to her at every turn8 <nder such circumstances1
particularly when the husband is an outwardly pious person who is punctual on 7amaaz1 who does have a beard and
does not allow even his 0shraaq and ;aha##ud to become :adha8 "hen such a person happens to degrade and beat
his wife1 who causes unnecessary inconvenience to her1 she begins to thin! along these lines1 @&etter than him are
those who adopt the western dress but who !eep their wives in ease8A "hen she sees her neighbor being treated
well by her modern husband1 a heart-rending cry emits from the core of her being1 that he is better than her so-
called1 pious husband1 @0 wish 0 had not been stuc! with this bearded person8A 0f this is our behavior then we are
causing women to hate the beard8 After the fact that we do !eep beards1 that we read our 7amaaz with regularity1
that we adopt the dress of the pious1 that after having established a relationship with the Ahlullah1 our
responsibilities are greatly increased8 2ur demeanor must be such whereby her inclination towards %een increases8
Approach your wives with such good character that she is forced to announce to the other women in the
neighborhood1 @0f only1 li!e me1 you had married an Allah wala1 you had married a 7amaazi1 if only you had
someone who !eeps contact with the &uzurgs8A *nsure that one9s character is of such lofty standard that she ma!es
widely !nown the benefits and advantages of marrying a person who is %eeni conscious1 who fulfills the rights of a
wife8 ;herefore1 be very conscious in fulfilling the rights of your wives8 0 have seen such people involved in great
difficulties who ill-treated their wives8
;he four verses pertaining to 7i!ah1 which were recited1 have been adequately discussed8 0 will now translate for
your benefit the four Ahaadith as well8 ;hereafter the 7i!ah will ta!e place8
14. 'i0ah is 2unnat
=asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' has said8
__... _ __.
7i!ah is my Sunnah8
2ne who abstains from1 who shuns my Sunnah is not of me8 "hat is the commentary of this HadithD 0f a person has
some valid eBcuse1 some plausible reason as for eBample1 one is so overta!en with the love of Allah ;a9ala that he is
unable to fulfill the rights of marriage1 he is unable to fulfill the due rights of wife and children it will not be
termed abstention or shunning8 2n the other hand1 only if one has no such eBcuse1 if one does not have a valid
reason and shuns the Sunnah then he will be sub#ect to the warning mentioned in this Hadith8 ;herefore1 do not
harbor evil thoughts regarding anyone8 ;here were many great <lema and Auliya who did not marry8 Hazrat &ishr
Haafi $rahmatullah alaihe' is one such person as is the writer of the commentary of Muslim Shareef8 Allamah
Muhyuddeen Abu Ga!ariyya 7awawi $rahmatullah alaihe'1 Allamah ;aftazani $rahmatullah alaihe' among others8
;hese people did not resort to marriage for they eBperienced certain difficulties8 "hat these difficulties were1 are
eBplained below in the following couplet:
c,> . _. _.. ,,
, co. ..> _. e
;o whom do we eBplain our difficulties
Fasting our glance towards the heavens have we been left
"ives also read such couplets when husbands ill-treat them8 0f he is constantly troubling and insulting her1 she raises
her gaze towards the heavens and says:
c,> . _. _.. ,,
, co. _ ..> _. e
;o whom do we eBplain our difficulties1
Fasting our glance towards the heavens have we been left
15. The +i&hts of 3usbands
She ponders as follows1 @Had 0 been a man and he my wife 0 would have handled his case8A ;ogether with this1 let
wives also realize the respect and honor due to their husbands as well8 0f at times they happen to over step the
mar!1 bear in mind the honor due to them8 =emember the position granted to them by Allah ;a9ala and in order to
earn the pleasure of Allah ;a9ala forgive them8 Fonsider service to them as one9s great good fortune8 0t appears in a
Hadith1 if a husband goes to sleep while displeased with his wife1 none of her good actions will be accepted even
though she spends the entire night !noc!ing at Allah ;a9ala9s door with ;asbeehaat8 "ives should also ponder and
realize that the position granted to husbands is so high that1 if permission was given for anyone to ma!e sa#dah or
prostrate before a human1 such permission would have been given to the wife in respect of her husband8 =emember
nonetheless that it is not permissibleH therefore1 permission for this act was not granted8 0t is only Allah ;a9ala who
is worthy and deserving of being prostrated before8 ;herefore1 it is not permissible for anyone beside Allah ;a9ala8
0n addition1 its incumbent upon parents to teach their daughters that even though the husband becomes angry or
becomes bitter towards them they should tolerate it for through him numerous gifts and bounties are also en#oyed8
Husbands literally turn their blood to perspiration in earning a living to see to the wife9s needs and comfort1 while
wives stand before stoves ma!ing IFhapaati8A ;here is a relationship between IFhapat9 the sound of a light slap and
IFhapaati98 "hile Fhapaati is being made1 the sound that is heard is IFhapat98 ;hus1 fromAFhapat9 the word
Fhapaati is derived8 >et me narrate an incident regarding IFhapat98 ;here was1 in %elhi a poet by the name of
0nshallah /han8 0nshallah once happened to be the guest of 7awaab or lord8 At the time of parta!ing meals1
0nshallah /han was bare headed8 %ue to feeling ashamed he lowered his head and ate8 ;he 7awaab Saheb with a
sense of humor gave him a light slap on the head as!ing him as to why he was eating bare headed8 "hile !eeping his
head lowered1 he retorted1 @Allah ;a9ala forgive my beloved father who always advised1 do not eat bare headed1
otherwise Shaytaan will slap you8A 7awaab Saheb was dumbfounded at his quic! wittedness8
16. ,enienc% towards 4i)es
;he translation of another Hadith:
__ ,_ _ ..o.. _ ..o.. _c_| .. .o l c_ | __ elo
"omen are li!e a ribE8
&ecause they have been created from the croo!ed rib and are croo!ed8 %o we not1 in spite of the fact that our ribs
are croo!ed1 benefit from themD Are the husbands not benefitting from their wives in spite of the fact that they are
temperamentalD Although one9s ribs are croo!ed we carry on living with them8 "e never request to be admitted to a
hospital to have them straightened8 ;he rophetic words are1
.. .ol c_|
@0f you will try to straighten them you will brea! them8A
;his mean1 do not interfere with them too much1 tolerate their temperament8 0f you will be harsh1 matter will reach
ahead and end up in a divorce8 ;he poor children will swear and curse you1 @what a tyrant of a father we have who
has divorced our mother8A After separation1 you too will thin! of her and cry8 "hen the tale of your harshness will
spread1 no one else will give you their daughter1 thin!ing you to be a merciless person who has divorced one wife
and will do the same to their daughter8 ;herefore1 have patience upon their bad temper1 their nagging and mood
swings and do not try to straighten them8
__ ,_ _ ..o.. _ ..o.. _c_|
0n the commentary of this Hadith1 Allama :astalani says1 Allah ;a9alaIs beloved =asulullah $salellaho alaihe
wasallam' advises men1
_:l._. _ _c.>_ ,,_. _._> _
;here is the lesson to treat wives well
__ __
,8 And to be soft towards them
__> ___
J8 And to have patience on their croo!edness1
__s _. _Uo_.>__
58 &ecause their intellect is wea!8
0f one has a wea! child1 one tolerates him to a great eBtent and warn others too1 to eBcuse the child for its
wea!ness1 for natural wea!ness should readily be eBcused8 So =asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' has said1
@women have a little less intelligence8 ;hey are 7aaqisaatu-AqlA $not perfect intellectually'1 so tolerate their wea!
points1 thin!ing them to be of wea! intellect e8g8 if you will bring five =ands $currency of South Africa' worth of
medicine1 she will say you have brought rubbish from somewhere8 "hen a woman was as!ed if her husband brought
clothes1 shoes for her1 she replied1 @(es1 he brings some rags $cloths'1 pieces of lathe $shoes'1 and tins $dishes'
sometimes8A So forgive them for such tal!s for they are wea!8
1". The Dan&ers of 5ein& ,ured b% 4o$en
=asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' says1 @Although they are wea!1 yet great people lose all sense of intelligence
because of them8A ;herefore1 save yourselves from loo!ing at strange women1 this is compulsory for you8 *ven
though one be professor possessing a h%1 a highly qualified graduate or even an eminent Aalim1 without protecting
the gazes1 without ta!ing due precaution one will lose ones senses when loo!ing at them8
1*. 6utual +elations
;he Shariat has given them some rights of coquetry and playfulness8 =asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' told
Hazrat Aayesh $radhiallaho anha'1
_:c ._l _ _._|
@0 !now when you are angry with me8A
She as!ed1 @May my parents be sacrificed for you 2 =asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam'1 how do you !nowDA
=asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' replied1 @"hen you are angry with me you say
,,__ _.`
&y the >ord of *brahim
and when you are happy with me1 you say
o> _.'
&y the >ord of Muhammad
See1 although being a great rophet and so honorable1 he tolerated his wife and did not get angry with her8
;herefore1 they also have some rights8 Some men thin! themselves to be rulers over their wives and they recite this
verse1
(:l ._. c U>_)

but Moulana Abrarul Haq Saheb $rahmatullah alaihe' has said1 @Surely you are rulers over your wives1 but only in
matters of ShariatA8 0f she tells you to do anything against Shariat1 e8g8 buy a ;C or video or allow photography or
going to bioscope etc8 then here you put your foot down1 lay down your rules and never compromise8 However1 if
she as!s you to bring a cold drin! for her sometimes1 do not say you are not in the mood1 because you had a big
fight at the office today8 )ulfill the rights of her loveH do not be laB in this8 ;o put a morsel in the wife9s mouth is
also Sunnat8 (ou have one contact of being a ruler over her and another as a lover8 2n the other hand1 she has the
contact of one being ruled over and the other of being loved8 So fulfill the rights of love and your marriage will be a
happy one8 (our house will become a place of great peace and contentment1 and above all1 Allah ;a9ala will be
pleased8 2ur mother <mmahatul Mu9mineen Hazrat Aayesha $radhiallaho anha' used to recite this couplet when
=asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' came to her in the evening1
_o. __ _o. .
_:lo . __o. _ ,> _.o.
> . _o. c_
_:l._ _L _.o.
"e have a sun and so does the s!y have a sun1
but my sun is better than the sun of the s!y1
because the s!y9s sun rises after )a#r1
while my sun rises after *sha8
She says1 @"hen =asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' came into the house1 he came in smiling and greeted the
house fol!8A 7owadays1 both these Sunnats have been left out8 Although =asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' had
the whole <mmat9s grief and concern at heart1 yet he did not leave out this wonderful practice8 May Allah ;a9ala
also give us this ;aufeeq8
1-. Custo$ar% 4eddin&s
;he neBt Hadith is:
. .l __ _. ,Ll c_|
@;he most blessed 7i!ah is the one in which least eBpenses are incurred1 and is simple8A
Allah ;a9ala has put blessing in simplicity1 but nowadays the weddings have to be in halls and thousands of people
are invited for meals8 )ood is served in buffet style1 free intermingling of seBes1 various types of food is served1
music is blaring loudly1 photos are ta!en with the bride being displayed on the stage1 if possible then the whole
wedding is also put on video etc8
About buffet style eating1 Allah ;a9ala states in the Holy :ur9aan1
(.l _l. o cl)
@;hey eat li!e animals1A
;his verse was for the /uffaar8 "hat a pity that the Muslims are now imitating the /uffaar8 "hereas the true
benefactor of the <mmat announced fourteen hundred years bac!1 that do not eat and drin! while standing1
o_. _.. __V _ ,. _, _ U. .
;he Muslims are openly going against this beloved teaching8
Another evil in these weddings is that video films are made of the wedding and certain bearded and so-called pious
people often sit and watch all this occur8 0t is 72; permissible to even sit there8 0t is "a#ib to go away from there
immediately8 Any gathering where Allah ;a9ala is disobeyed should be wal!ed out on1 even as far as removing the
morsel that was in the mouth already8 ;hese are evil customs by which the 7i!ah is deprived of blessings8
Attendants in uniform are hired to serve8 Some people hire bands to play Haraam music and hire an elephant from
the zoo8 ;he astounding fact is that these people belong to those strata of society who live in shac!s and who
accept Ga!aat8 0 have seen such people on the occasions of their weddings resorting to such eBtravagance8 ;o give
Ga!aat to such people is Haraam for they have money saved at the ban!1 which causes them to be eBcluded from
the category of recipients for Ga!aat8 %o not give your Ga!aat to people who ma!e collection of Ga!aat a profession8
&y helping such people one is actually aiding in the commission of Haraam acts8 ;his was with reference to spurious
customs innovated by people and which is so called &ara!at8
2.. 4ali$ah
=asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' mentioned that the 7i!aah with the most &ara!ah is one which is1
. .l
@"ith the least eBpense8A
0f "alimah has to ta!e place then it too should be done very simply8 0t is not "a#ib to ma!e "alimah inviting
hundreds of people and !eeping it in a hall8 0nvite a few needy people and feed them1 the Sunnat of "alimah will be
fulfilled8 )eed the "alimah guests in your houseH you will not need to hire a hall for which you have to pay
hundreds8 =ather save all this money and give it to your daughter or son who is marrying or !eep it for yourselves
and use it in a good cause8 =emember1 even if thousands of people will attend the wedding or "alimah1 they will
never be satisfied1 they will have unending complains1 e8g8 the food was too salty or too oily or the meat was not
coo!ed properly or it was too spicy1 or the food was tasteless or burnt etc8 ;herefore1 leave all this wastage and
wor! with simplicity8 A Sahabi $radhiallaho anho' got married in Madina and he did not even invite =asulullah
$salellaho alaihe wasallam' to the "alimah feast8 "hen =asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' found out about this
Sahabi9s marriage1 he did not show displeasure to his Sahabi that why did he not invite him8 7owadays1 the family
fights if they are not invited and say1 @"e will not invite them to our functions and will not attend any other
gathering of theirs in the futureA All this is ignorance8 ;herefore1 a 7i!ah in which least eBpenses are incurred1
!now it to be the most blessed8
21. +i&ht of the 4ife
0t is written in the discourses of Moulana Ashraf Ali ;hanwi $rahmatullah alaihe' 1 an additional right concerning a
wife is that she be given some spending money for her personal use every month and not be as!ed to account for it8
She is helpless and under you and does not go out to earn8 She too1 perhaps feels li!e giving gifts to her family1
where then must she get it fromD So give her some money according to your means8 >isten now the fourth Hadith1
which will bring to completion this Ma#lis8 ;here are those people who suffer from the misconception that by being
harsh and cruel to their wives they will maintain control and earn respect8 ;hey consider it the ultimate aspect of
manliness to !eep the wife lowering in fear before them8 0 have heard that in some places it is the custom to beat
the wife on the first night to establish one9s control8 "hat ignorance and in#ustice this is8 "e beseech Allah ;a9ala
to protect us from all forms of ignorance8 "hat1 on the contrary is the beautiful lifestyle and the perfect eBample of
our =asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam'D 2ur beloved mothers of the <mmah were sitting and conversing with
=asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' in such a manner that their voices were fairly loud8 Hazrat <mar $radhiallaho
anho' happens to present himself in the company of =asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' upon which they all fall
silent8 Hazrat <mar $radhiallaho anho' as!s them1 @"hat has happened to you 2 wives of =asulullah $salellaho alaihe
wasallam' that upon the appearance of <mar you all fell silent for fear of him and that you tal! freely and with
sharpness to =asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam'DA ;he reply furnished by our mothers was1 @2 <mar1 your
temperament is hard while our lot has been destined with =ahmatul lil Aalameen $;he mercy onto the worlds'8
Allamah Aaloosi $rahmatullah alaihe' has quoted a Hadith in his commentary1 =oohul Ma9aani in which Sayyidul
Ambiya $salellaho alaihe wasallam' says1
o_ _a
@2ne who is !ind and gentle1 his wife will over power him8A
=asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' is teaching us to recognize the natures of women8 ;hat husband who is !ind
and gentle1 who is an Allah wala1 who is noble natured1 who is tolerant at heart will have his wife having control
over him1 for she realizes that she will not be scolded or ta!en to tas!8 He will not beat her1 will not be harsh1 will
not even raise his voice but will instead increase his !indness towards her8 ;his gives her the courage to be free and
informal with her husband8 "hile those who are ill natured1
,,_. _a
@2ne who is ill natured will overpower his wife $by means of violence and vulgarity'8A
"ill gain the upper hand over them by means of violence and vulgarity1 by their evil temperament and terrible
character8 =asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' goes on to say1
a o_ cl cl ._>l
@0 prefer1 0 find it more beloved to be !ind and gentle even though 0 may be overcome by their loudness8A
7o change must occur to the loftiness in my character8 My character must remain soft and tolerant8 Fonsider what
he $salellaho alaihe wasallam' is saying
_ c o,_. cl c l ._> l V
@0 do not consider it more beloved to be harsh and intolerant1 hardhearted and vile and thereby gain control over
them8A
;hese words are a great lesson for the <mmah at large8 &y uttering these words1 =asulullah $salellaho alaihe
wasallam' is eBpressing the hope of infusing gentleness1 of imbuing !indness and good character in the men of his
<mmah with respect to their womenfol!8 7abi $salellaho alaihe wasallam' was without a doubt established on lofty
character as attested to by Allah ;a9ala in the :ur9aan-e-/areem1
(,,_ L _> C._)
Cerily you are upon lofty characters
22. Do 'ot Kee7 8our 4ife Tense 9:nder Pressure;
)rom A >ecture %elivered 0n Azaadville1 South Africa 0n 4..-
Another point is1 7owadays men thin! that it is very correct for them to !eep their fear and awe upon their wives1
!eep them under pressure8 2utside with their friends they are in a #ovial and happy mood1 but when they step into
the house they become serious and do not laugh or smile or even ma!e a #o!e or two with the wife who was waiting
for him the whole day thin!ing that when my husband comes home in the evening 0 will tell him this and that8 She
wants to tell him something but he is sitting with a tasbeeh or he enters the house with eyes closed and a tasbeeh
dangling in his hands as if &aba )areeduddeen Attar1 Hazrat &ayazeed &ustaami1 or /hwa#ah Mu9inuddeen Fhisti
$rahmatullah alaihim' is entering8 0s this the right of a wifeD ;hose who do not have %een in them enter the house
li!e a haraoh with big red eyes and those who have %een in them come in li!e some pious saint in meditation with
eyes closed as if they are living in the heavens8 Go to your wife smiling and spea!ing to her1 you will get more
;hawaab$virtues' for fulfilling her rights than reading that ;asbeeh at this moment8 >aughing1 #o!ing and tal!ing
with the wife is also part of 0baadat8 ;o stay awa!e the whole night for 0baadat and not tal!ing to the wife is
contrary to the Sunnat practices8 A Sahabi went to visit another Sahabi1 the host got up to start his nightly 0baadat1
the guest stopped him and told him to first spea! to him as he was his guest1 then perform some 7awaafil1 then
fulfill the wife9s rights too though it may be by #ust spea!ing to her8
23. Kindness to 4i)es
Hazrat Ha!eem ul <mmat Moulana Ashraf Ali ;hanwi $rahmatullah alaihe' says it is wrong to re#ect the intercession
of Allah ;a9ala1 when He is1 commanding to treat a wife well8 She is wea! and far from her parents1 she is at our
mercy8 After giving birth to a few children she becomes wea! and the husband ta!es out all his anger on her
because she did not do some wor! of his8 Alas? "hy have you thought her to be li!e your maid $servant'1 how about
you doing it yourself for a change8 (ou were not given a wife to wor! for you8 0f she does any wor! for you1 it is
through her !indness8 So Allah ;a9ala is interceding for His bondswoman1 that treat your wife well1 whether she be
young or old1 even if her teeth have fallen and her face has wrin!led8 7ot that when she was young and beautiful
you did everything for her and now that she has grown old you treat her terribly8 ;his in not correct8 ;hin! of this
old lady who has grown old with you8 "hen she was young and pretty you loved her1 now that she is old1 love her
thin!ing it to be the command of Allah ;a9ala1 and be !ind to her for the same8 0f she has a headache1 bring
medicine for her and be merciful towards her8
24. 5e Content with 8our Partner
Many men are sorry later in life as to why they married their wife and not some other woman8 =emember1 what
Allah ;a9ala has predestined must happen8 ;herefore1 be happy with your lot1 which Allah ;a9ala has chosen for
you8
25. The 5eaut% of a 6usli$ 4ife in <annat
<mmahatul Mumineen Hazrat umme Salma $radhiallaho anha' as!ed =asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' @2n the
day of :iyaamat1 will Muslim women be more beautiful or the Hoors of +annatDA =asulullah $salellaho alaihe
wasallam' replied: @;he Muslim women will be more beautiful1 because they performed namaaz1 !ept fast1 served
their husbands1 went through so much difficulties at the time of giving birth etc8for all this Allah ;a9ala will place
eBtra 7oor of 0baadat on their faces8
"hereas the Hoors did not do anything of the above1 e8g8 salaat1 fast1 labor pains1 etc8 So they will not have the
7oor of all this8 +ust imagine the condition of a person who9s heart is filled with 7oor by Allah ;a9ala8 How
beautifully Hazrat <mme Salma $radhiallaho anha' represented the Muslim women of the whole world by as!ing the
above question8
26. 3ow the +i&hteous Treat Their 4i)es
Foming bac! to the good treatment of a wife1 =asulullah $salellaho alaihe wasallam' was not hard or harsh to his
wivesH he always treated them with !indness8 His life pattern was the most beautiful and most worthy of following8
His character was also of the best and highest degree as is stated in the :ur9aan8 Mirza Mazhar +aan-e-+ana
$rahmatullah alaihe' was of a very sensitive nature1 but his wife was of a bitter character8 "hen a disciple as!ed
him why he had married such a woman1 he said1 @;he honor and respect you see bestowed upon me is because of
the blessing of Sabr which 0 ma!e upon this wife9s bitter and ill-temper8A
Hazrat Shah Abul Hasan /harqani $rahmatullah alaihe' was seen coming from the #ungle1 seated on a lion with a
sna!e in his hand for a whip8 "hen he was as!ed about his !araamat $miracle' he replied1 @0 have a very bad-
tempered wife1 but 0 forgive her thin!ing her to be Allah9s bondswoman1 and have patience on her ill-temper1 Allah
;a9ala has blessed me with this !araamat8A &y having patience1 one attains great stages by Allah ;a9ala8 Many men
have become Allah ;a9alaIs friends by #ust treating their wives with good character8 +ust thin! for a moment1 if your
daughter is bad-tempered and chee!y1 and her husband tolerates her1 will you not praise this son-in-law of yoursD
"ill you not respect and honor this nobility and worthiness of hisD (ou will even perhaps write down some wealth of
yours for him in your will8 ;herefore1 you should also tolerate the domineer of your wife then see what great
rewards you will earn for this small action 0nshallah8
2". Dua!a
2 Allah1 let us treat our wives with good character and bless the wives with taufeeq to !eep their husbands happy8
2 Allah1 ;a9ala create love between all couples8 Give them a life for fulfilling (our commands and acting upon the
Sunnats of our beloved =asul $salellaho alaihe wasallam'1 and let them have hatred for all customs and innovations1
let us all have marriages according to the Sunnat method8 Save us from our evil selves and shaytan8 >et us pass
every breath in (our command and save us from (our displeasure8 2 Allah ;a9ala1 bless perfect matches to boys and
girls who are not married8 Give them love and common understanding amongst themselves8 =emove all their
misunderstandings1 fights1 quarrels and arguments1 and ma!e their homes places of peace and contentment8 2 Allah
;a9ala1 put mercy in the hearts of those men who are oppressing their wives1 and those women who are troubling
their husbands1 ma!e them good and obedient to their husbands8 2 Allah ;a9ala1 bless all with ease1 peace and
contentment in the whole universe8 2 Allah ;a9ala1 save us from the conspiracy of the +ews and the Fhristians8 2
Allah ;a9ala1 destroy all their plans1 which they are ma!ing to destroy the Muslims8 Allah ;a9ala1 accept these
dua9as of ours8
,_o _. __o> _c . _>