Coping Techniques

Choose ONE coping technique each week. Choose whichever techniques you think would be most beneficial to you. Be prepared to respond to items that are numbered and in bold! There is no required word count for your responses.

Week 1 A. Eustress vs Distress: The best way to get a handle on the cause of your stress is first to pinpoint exactly what your stressors are. Take a moment to think about whats on your mind. What is bothering you? What causes you to get angry, frustrated, upset or afraid? 1) Make a list of your top 10 stressors (most stressful should be listed first). If you have fewer than 10, thats fine. Dont feel compelled to add more than you really have. But everyone usually has at least 10, even if theyre small stressors (something as simple as having to wake up early in the morning). 2) Which stressors would you consider eustressful and which would you consider distressful? (copy your list from #1 but this time write eustress or distress next to each stressor). 3) Which of your stressor(s) do you think has the potential to change from being eustressful to distressful and/or vice versa? Briefly explain in 1 or 2 sentences for each stressor identified. B. Perceived Abilities: Must of this class is about getting to know yourself better. Assessing how you currently handle stressors is part of this process. Some people are excellent at not stressing over a particular stressor (e.g. meeting deadlines) but are horrible at handling other stressors (e.g. getting into arguments). (1) On a scale of 1 to 5, (5 = absolutely perfect), rate yourself on EACH item below (e.g. Schoolwork: 3.5; Relationships: 2, etc.). (2) Provide a one-sentence explanation for EACH rating (e.g. Schoolwork: I rated myself a 3.5 because ). ( 3) Do you think your score for EACH item would vary depending on different situations? (e.g. Schoolwork: Yes, I think I deal with stress pertaining to my statistics class differently than stress pertaining to my psychology class, etc.). Make sure you comment on all 4 of the items. 1. How would you rate your overall ability to handle stress that pertains to SCHOOLWORK (i.e. meeting deadlines, work load, taking tests, etc.)? 2. How would you rate your overall ability to handle stress that pertains to RELATIONSHIPS (i.e. dealing with difficult people, dealing with conflict with a significant other, friend or family member)? 3. How would you rate your overall ability to be PATIENT when youre kept waiting? (e.g. stuck in traffic or a long line) 4. How would you rate your overall AWARENESS of when youre feeling stressed? (i.e. do you ever catch yourself gripping the steering while driving in traffic or holding your breath while giving a presentation?) Week 2

A. Physiology Assessment: Many people might be aware of when theyre feeling stressed but they may
not be aware of the physical symptoms that theyre experiencing. Go to http://stress.about.com/library/symptoms/bl_stress_symptom_quiz.htm , respond to the questions, and click on Submit Answers. (1) Out of 20 possible stress symptoms, how many are not a problem for you? (2) What was your stress symptom score? (expressed as a percentage) (3) On a scale of 1 to 5 (5=very aware), how aware of your body are you when youre stressed? Briefly explain in 1 or 2 sentences. B. Creative Problem Solving: Many times when we are faced with a problem that stresses us, we tend to think of only one way to handle it. The ways we select are not always effective (e.g. avoidance, repression, hostility, etc.). But usually there are several ways to deal with a problem. We just have to be creative. (1) What are your top THREE stressors right now? (2) Brainstorm ways you can decrease or even eliminate those stressors. Come up with more than one way (at least two) for

each of the three stressors (e.g. My top three stressors right now are work, school, relationship with my boyfriend. Things that I can do to decrease my stress related to work are . Things I can do to decrease my stress related to school are Things I can do to decrease my stress related to my boyfriend are ). (3) On a scale of 1 to 5 (5 = very helpful), how helpful was it to write down possible solutions? Briefly explain in 1 or 2 sentences (e.g. 3 It was somewhat helpful to make a conscious effort to think of ways to eliminate my stressors.) Week 3

A. Type A Personality Assessment: Go to

http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com/type_a_personality_access.html , click on Take the Test, respond to the questions, and click on Score. Scroll down to the bottom. (1) What was your score? (2) In 1 or 2 sentences, do you agree with what it says under What your score means? (3) Are there some situations that you tend to exhibit more Type A characteristics than other situations? Explain in 1 or 2 sentences. B. Personality Characteristics: Your personality plays a huge role in terms of how you deal with stress. (1) On a scale of 1 to 5, (5 = absolutely perfect), rate yourself on EACH item below based on the descriptions in the lecture (e.g. Codependent: 1). (2) Provide a one-sentence explanation for EACH rating (e.g. Codependent: I rated myself a 3.5 because ). (3) Do you think your score for EACH item would vary depending on different situations? Explain in 1 or 2 sentences. 1. On a scale of 1 to 5, how much of a CODEPENDENT personality do you have? (5 = I definitely exhibit many of these characteristics a good percentage of the time; 1 = I'm definitely not codependent). 2. On a scale of 1 to 5, how much of an INTERNAL locus of control do you have? (5 = I have a very strong internal locus of control, 1 = I have more of an external locus of control). 3. On a scale of 1 to 5, how HARDY are you? (5 = I'm extremely hardy, 1 = I'm not hardy at all). 4. On a scale of 1 to 5, how much of a RISK-TAKER are you? (5 = I definitely like taking risks, 1 = I never take risks and I'm not very adventurous). 5. On a scale of 1 to 5, how strong is your SELF-ESTEEM right now? (5 = very strong, 1 = not strong at all). Week 4 A. Thoughts Inventory: A HUGE part of stress management is becoming more aware of your thoughts and emotions and catching yourself when youre thinking negative thoughts or stress-inducing thoughts. On the hour every hour for 12 hours (youll need to set an alarm on your watch or phone), write down what you were thinking about when the alarm went off. (1) Include your list of thoughts and the times (e.g. 8:30am I hate traffic!). (2) How many thoughts were negative? How many were positive? How many were neutral (neither positive or negative)? (e.g. Positive: 4; Negative: 4; Neutral: 4). (3) On a scale of 1 to 5 (5=very much aware), to what extent did this exercise make you more aware of your thoughts by the end of the day? Explain in 1 or 2 sentences (e.g 4 I was surprised that I didnt have more positive thoughts). Emotions Inventory: On the hour every hour for 12 hours (youll need to set an alarm on your watch or phone), write down how youre feeling. Make sure you dont confuse feelings with thoughts. A thought is I hate traffic! and a feeling is frustration, anger, fear, irritation, etc. (1) Include your list of emotions and the times (e.g. 8:30 frustration) (2) How many emotions were negative or stressful? How many were positive? How many were neutral (neither positive or negative)? (3) On a scale of 1 to 5 (5=very much aware), to what extent did this exercise make you more aware of your emotions by the end of the day? Explain in 1 or 2 sentences (e.g 4.5 I didnt realize how much of a roller coaster Im on regarding my emotions.). Week 5

B.

A. Mirror Technique: Poor listening skills are extremely prevalent in our society today and are a major cause of stress. During three different conversations this week (preferably during a conflict situation but it doesnt have to be), make a conscious effort to maintain eye contact, dont interrupt, and listen so that you can paraphrase what the person said. Paraphrase back to the person at least once or twice during the conversation (you dont have to paraphrase back the entire conversation). (1) Briefly describe the 3 conversations (e.g. 1 - I talked with my brother about his drinking problem. 2 I talked with my sister about her always borrowing my clothes without asking. 3 I talked with a professor about my grade on an assignment). (2) On a scale of 1 to 5 (5 = listened much better), to what extent did you find that you listened better than you normally would have knowing that you were going to paraphrase? Provide a one- or two-sentence reaction statement (e.g. 5 I listened way better than I normally would have because I knew that I was going to paraphrase.) (3) On a scale of 1 to 5, do you feel that your eye contact was better than normal and/or did you interrupt less than normal? Explain in 1 or 2 sentences (e.g. 2 I already have pretty good eye contact when I listen to people talking). B. Listening Skills Assessment: For your next several interactions with others (it can be with one particular person or with several people), make a conscious effort to pay attention to your listening skills (1) Briefly describe your observation (Did you maintain eye contact throughout the entire conversation? Did you interrupt? Were you talking more than the other person? How much were you talking versus listening? Did you paraphrase back to the other person when appropriate?). (2) What effective listening skills did you exhibit? What could you have done to be a better listener? (3) On a scale of 1 to 5, do you feel that you listened better, just as good, or not as good than you normally would by doing this activity? Explain in 1 or 2 sentences (e.g. 5 I thought I was already a pretty good listener but I think I listened a lot better than I normally would). Week 6 A. Grateful Journal: I know this might feel kinda churchy but learning to make a conscious effort to identify things for which youre grateful can dramatically decrease stress-inducing perceptions. For three consecutive days, write down ANYTHING and EVERYTHING for which you're grateful. Come up with as many things as you can but make sure that you dont include things unless youre really grateful for them. Try to reach 100 items (total) by the end of the third day. Keep a small notepad with you and jot down things throughout the day as they come to your mind or at the end of the day, whichever you prefer. (1) Include the list for each day and number the items (Day 1 1. My car, 2. My family, 3. Opportunity to go to college, etc.). (2) By the third day, was it easier, harder, or about the same to identify things for which you were grateful? (e.g. By the third day, it was easier for me to identify things.) (3) On a scale of 1 to 5 (5=very much aware), to what extent did this exercise make you more aware of things for which youre grateful by the end of the day? Explain in 1 or 2 sentences (e.g 4 At first, it was hard to come up with things but then it got easier). B. Reframe with Enjoying Simple Things: For at least one full day, make a conscious effort to get excited about the "little" things in life (like finding a parking spot). (1) Make a list of the things that you enjoyed. Try to come up with 50 by the end of the day. (2) On a scale of 1 to 5 (5 = huge effect), to what extent did this activity affect your mood? Explain in 1 or 2 sentences. (3) To what extent, if any, do you feel that this would make a difference in your overall emotional well-being if done on a regular and consistent basis? Week 7 A. Clock vs Compass: To what extent are your most important values reflected in your typical day or typical week? (1) identify your top five values in life (e.g. 1 my health, 2 my family, etc.). (2) Record how you spend your time over a 24 hour period -- 3 days would be better but youre required to do 1 day minimum. (e.g. 7:00 to 9:00am showered, ate breakfast, checked my email). (3) Would someone be able to identify your top 5 values by reviewing the way you spent your time during this day? Explain in 1 or 2 sentences.

B. Time Management: Go to http://www.hanishbabu.com/timeassess.htm and respond to the 10 questions using the scale thats listed above the questions. (1) What was your score? (2) Finish the statement the area of my life I procrastinate the most is ______________. (3) What is your top reason for procrastinating and what is a possible solution to overcome that reason? Week 8 A. Journal Writing: Journal writing has been shown to be extremely cathartic for many people. Sometimes people feel much more comfortable writing their thoughts and feelings rather than talking about them. Write about a stressful situation that you experienced at any time in your life but preferably something that happened within the last 6 months if possible. Youll want to use the computer instead of paper and pencil because youll need to copy & paste your response to the course website. There is no minimum word count but you must write for at least 3 minutes (set an alarm or have a clock nearby to time yourself). Examples of a stressful situation might be learning that a loved one died or going through a break-up or learning that you failed an exam. You may go over the 3 minutes but you may not go under. Keep writing something until youve reached 3 minutes, even if you have to repeat the same sentence. Completely and honestly express your feelings and emotions about this situation. (1) Briefly describe the situation. (2) Did writing about it cause you to feel better or worse about the situation after you were finished? (3) To what extent do you think journal writing would be helpful to you in managing stress if done on a regular and consistent basis? B. Objective Story: Write about a conflict situation in a story format. In other words, youll explain the situation by writing from the third person as an outsider with an objective perspective (e.g. "[your name] seemed really upset because). The conflict must involve two sides: yours and that of someone else. Examples of a conflict situation might be getting into an argument with a friend or family member. There is no minimum word count but you must write for at least 3 minutes (set an alarm or have a clock nearby to time yourself). (1) Briefly describe the situation. (2) To what extent do you feel more objective about the situation and able to see both sides? (3) To what extent do you think this type of writing would be helpful to you in being more objective in conflict situations if done on a regular and consistent basis?

Week 9 C. Letter: Learning to get things off your chest but in a controlled, respectful manner is possibly one of the most difficult skills, but most important, that we can ever learn. Learning how to do this can take us far in life, and not learning this skill can cause major problems. Write a letter to someone who has been a source of your stress. Completely and honestly explain your feelings and emotions to this person. Dont censor. Get everything off your chest. Then re-write the letter so that its completely respectful and does not put the other person on the defense at all, while still getting your point across (sending either letter to him/her is optional). (1) Include both letters. (2) On a scale of 1 to 5 (5 = very difficult), to what extent was it difficult to re-write the letter? Provide a one-or two-sentence reaction statement (e.g. 4.5 It was really hard for me to re-write the letter because I felt like I couldnt completely get my point across.) (3) To what extent do you feel that that this would help you be a better communicator if you did this on a regular and consistent basis? D. Content Communicator: Make a conscious effort to be a content communicator or say what you mean and mean what you say on 3 different occasions this week. (1) Briefly describe the 3 situations. (2) On a scale of 1 to 5 (5 = very difficult), how difficult was it to do this? Provide a one- or two-reaction statement (e.g. 3 It wasnt too difficult because Ive been wanting to talk to him about this for a long time). (3) To what extent do you feel that doing this would help you be a better communicator if you did this on a regular and consistent basis? Week 10 A. Power Phrase: Choose a saying (such as "life's too short" or this won't matter a year from now) and

repeat this phrase when you encounter a stressor at least 5 times during the week. (1) What was your phrase? (2) Briefly describe the 5 stressful situations. (3) On a scale of 1 to 5 (5=very helpful), how helpful was this phrase in terms of easing your perceived level of stress? Explain in 1 or two sentences (e.g. 3.5 It definitely helped but Im not sure that it helped that much.) B. It Could Be Worse: Identify at least five stressful situations during the week and identify how each situation could have been worse. (1) Briefly describe the situation (1 sentence for each situation). (2) Briefly describe how each situation could have been worse (1 sentence for each situation). (3) On a scale of 1 to 5 (5=very helpful), how helpful was this in terms of decreasing your perceived level of stress? Explain in 1 or 2 sentences.