Matthew Baker 10/16/12

Barney Stinson
How I Met Your Mother, Season 8, Episode 2, Nannies

How I Met Your Mother is an American sitcom that premiered on CBS on September 19, 2005, created by Craig Thomas and Carter Bays, and directed by Pamela Fryman. Set in Manhattan, How I Met Your Mother follows the social and romantic lives of Ted and his friends Marshall, Robin, Lilly, and Barney. As a framing device, the main character, Ted, in the year 2030 recounts to his son and his daughter the events that led to his meeting their mother. I chose to do this report on the communication styles of Barney Stinson in the season episode called Nannies. I primarily thought that Barney was a good communicator. But he also had a few flaws. In this paper I will describe and examine his verbal and nonverbal communication styles. In this show, Barney has just become single again and he loves it. Since it is October, he views his freedom as joyous, considering it is Bangtoberfest. He uses a connotation meaning to describe Bangtoberfest in his own words, saying it is the autumn for break-ups and using women into pleasure for himself. He also says later in the show that Bangtoberfest is about innovation. Its about ideas. He does this act by interviewing each nanny for a job. And he doesnt even have a kid. After the interview he replies I cant do this, I find you very attractive and it wouldnt be appropriate. He then puts his hand on their lap and they hold it.

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The example of the three functions of relationships can be applied. This includes inclusion, control, and affection. Inclusion is the need for social contact. He used this method to get to know the nannies in the interview process and try and get them to like him before he pulled his moves. Control is the need to have satisfactory levels of influence and power. Barney used control in this instance by dominating the nanny and getting her to come onto him. Affection is the need to experience emotionally close relationships. This act happened when he started to go for the score. He also used the term breadth in his interviews with the nannies. Breadth is the measure of the number of topics you discuss with the other person. This ranged from topics of diapers and baths with the nannies. But something that I realized that he lacked was more breadth and depth in the conversation. Depth is the measure of how central the topics you discuss with another person are to your self-concept. Barney could have used more depth and connected with the nannies, instead of making his conversations up and pretend hes interested. In doing so, he could have possibly found the right girl for him. Instead of just banging her, he could have gotten to know her a lot more. They were all beautiful looking women. Barney had a lot of conversations with his friends. This is called interpersonal communication. Interpersonal communication is communication between two or more people. When I listened to the way he presented himself and the way he talked, I was okay with it. Some of the nonverbal communication that Barney used was his frowning when he and Quinn broke up. This was a negative sign that he was not okay and disapproved

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with it and he didnt want them to break up. You could tell his eyebrows also tweaked and moved down when he heard of the news. Nonverbal communication is the kinds of human messages and responses not expressed in words. It gives the receiver clues regarding the attitudes, feelings, and personality of the displayer. Examples include the twinkle in their eye, the edge in their voice, the knowing look of their smile, the rigidness of their posture, the confidence in their walk, their dress, their hairstyle, where they sit, how closely they stand in relation to another, and their eagerness to move early. When Barney approaches his friends to have a conversation and tell him of his problems so far, he hits Ted. This is showing his frustration for the way Bangtoberfest is going so far. Hes upset with how his plan is not working so far. He uses good eye contact with all three of his friends that he is sitting with and makes good use of his hands. By doing this, his friends are able to trust what he says. They also become good listeners and effective communicators. His main occupation is that he works as a policeman. He takes advantage of his position and tries telling girls, I suppose there is one way I couldget you off. This is one of many good pick-up lines that men will use to get a girls attention. Barney uses a lot of good pick-up lines in this show. When he says this, he doesnt sound very confident and stumbles while saying it. This is due to his break up with Quinn. He just wasnt the same old Barney Stinson. Using his very own position to win over girls during Bangtoberfest was something he

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used to be good at. He tried to hide his emotions by trying to not think about Quinn or let it get to him. When he fails and the girl walks away, he closes his eyes and lets out his frustration. This is when he goes to his friends. He complains about how Bangertoberfest is about innovation, ideas, and that it used to mean something. Then Ted chirped in and said, You made it up yesterday. Barneys response was, Enough with the questions, I need time to think. Then he threw his head up and slammed it onto the table, burying his head on the table. After he complains about his problems and how the whole Bangtoberfest isnt working out, Lilly talks about her problems to the friends. She complains about how she and Marshall cant find a nanny. They want a nanny that will sometimes help them take care of their son and give them some free time. Lilly then says there arent any nannies available that they can afford on heynanny.com, except Scary Poppins. Barney then raises his head off the table slowly, looking up into heaven like God answered his prayers and saved his life. He had a brand new idea to use for Bangtoberfest, nannies. This would later become very successful until something happens to him. After Lilly and Marshall interview more nannies, they come to one particular nanny that they fall in love with. They decide to hire her, but she says she has one more interview to go to and that she would call them. That night she called back and said that she had fallen in love with a billionaire. She didnt need the job and she was going overseas with him the next day.

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The next morning, Lilly and Marshall went to go visit Barney at his apartment. As soon as they walked in, they saw the nanny they had wanted. They cursed right at Barney and told the nanny that Barney had lied to her about everything. This is called deception. Deception is lying directly to someone to try to make them believe it. As soon as the nanny heard about the deception, she called Barney a monster and then left. He then threw up his arms and whined, as if to say, Dont leave! This is a strong example of nonverbal communication. He uses his body to let address his emotions and reactions. After the nanny left, Lilly and Marshall asked how Barney actually came up with the idea. He told the story so dramatically and entertained them. He described how he got the idea from Lilly earlier when she mentioned the nannies that shes having a hard time finding. Also, he told them how he used the nannies and tricked them in the interviews. All of this came out in a bad message to Lilly and Marshall. Lilly wound up calling Barney immature and insulted him. This is all part of verbal communication. Then a week later, Mrs. Buckminister took the nanny job. Lilly and Marshall had loved her and interviewed her before, but her weekly fee was too high. After the scuffle between them and Barney, Barney called an agency and had them pay Mrs. Buckmministers salary. He repaid Lilly and Marshall for the trouble he had caused. Later in the day, Barney comes rushing over to Robin and Ted at the friends table. His face is covered with bruises and dirt. Robin and Ted new right away that something was wrong. Before they could ask, Barney said he just had a nightmare and began his story. According to his story, he was walking down the street when he saw

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one of the nannies he had tricked pushing a baby stroller. Instead of ignoring her and going about his business, Barney thought he could try tricking her a second time. But then he quickly noticed the look on her face. She looked angry and stared at him as she pushed the stroller. All of a sudden there was a gang of nannies pushing babies in strollers coming from all directions towards Barney. He quickly became scared and feared for his life. He had tricked every one of those nannies and they were surrounding him. When they got to Barney he crouched down like a child into the wall like he was going to cry and shouted, Help! And then they beat him up. He woke up in a dumpster covered in diapers afterwards. He found a pacifier somewhere he wasnt willing to discuss. The way he told the story to Ted and Robin was poor, verbal communicationwise. He didnt have good eye contact and he looked straight up at the ceiling the whole time. He should have had better eye contact with them and better posture. Later in the show, Barney goes back to his old ways in his police uniform. When he hits his classic pick-up line, they refuse it again. Then Mrs. Buckminister, who is a sweet 60 or 70 something year old, chirped in and said to make better decisions. He had hired her to put an end to all of this. He sighs and says thank you to Mrs. Buckminister. She then says, Your welcome. What you are doing to these young girls is simply not appropriate. She then puts her hand into his and he looks in astonishment at her.

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Then later in bed, he told her that can never happen again. He was absolutely shocked by what had just happened. Her response was, Oh pish-posh you said that last time. I thought overall Barney was an effective communicator. The way he presented himself around everybody verbally and nonverbally was amazing. I think all the communication that I observed about Barney tells me that he is a trained actor and is great at what he does. He is a very outgoing and funny actor. I look forward to seeing more of the shows. Seeing one episode of How I Met Your Mother makes me want to watch more.