By Thomas Elliott Michel Vicks Welcome to EDSS I stop my car in the church parking lot and turn it off.

It's rather quiet compared to my old school. Compared to the bustling city it's almost silent. I hop out of my car and sling my pack over my shoulder. New school in a new country might be difficult. Then again as a New Yorker there's not much I haven't dealt with so this should be a cakewalk. I start walking. Once I get to the street I quickly jog across it resuming my slow walk on the other side. I hear a strange pattering sound from somewhere a little behind me and take a quick glance over my shoulder. I stop, turn completely around and stare at the thing. A horse is pulling a small box with wheels. Said box also happens to be occupied by two people dressed mostly in black. Well, so much for nothing I haven't dealt with. "New here, eh?" I hear a rather happy voice say. I turn around and once more I am rather surprised with what I see. There's a guy about six feet tall with a big plaid shirt with no sleeves and jeans. He's also got a scraggily beard to match his scraggily brown hair. "What gave it away?" I asked after glancing up at him. He shrugged. "Well, there, see most folks from around here don't tend stare at them Mennonites, and well, it's pretty clear you're a city kid." "City Kid? What's that supposed to mean?" "Well, youre a little aggressive there, eh?" "I don't take kindly to being insulted." He gave me a confused expression. "Well there, I wasn't insulting you. Just saying you look like a kid who was raised in a city. I don't know what you were thinking I was saying there, eh?" "I thought you were saying something about me." I try staring him down which I guess wasn't as effective as I thought it was at the time. "This is Canada mate, We don't tend to be impolite to people we just met don't cha know!" raising his hands in mock surrender. "Well, just watch it unless you want to start something." "Well hey then, just take it easy there little guy. I didn't mean anything there, eh? Well, I got to go. So you go have a nice day there, eh?" "Um sure," I say slowly "Names John encase you're wondering." "Michel Vicks," I reach out and shake his outstretched hand. He gives me a quick nod and hurried off towards the door. Once he got there he held it open for a few people before heading through himself. As I look around I realise John is right about me looking out of place. Most of the people around here dress for comfort rather than style. Lots of plaid, jeans and old jackets. Hell, there was even a guy in a duster and a newsboy cap. Meanwhile Im standing here in my designer hoodie and dark pants, hands in my pockets and my hood up. I must have looked like some kind of emo kid. I figured it was about time for me to start thinking about heading to class. I headed in the door and jogged towards the main office. Apparently I was supposed to sign myself in and get some forms signed. I walk towards the main office passing the guidance room as I went. I notice an anti-abuse poster on the door of the room and shudder remembering what had happened back home.

That little part of me in the back of my mind started screaming like crazy. I force it back into the depths of my mind while forcing my eyes shut and slowing my breathing. When I finally open my eyes again I realise that I must have been standing there for a while. I also realise that some girl has been standing there try to get my attention. "What?" I growled looking up at her. "I asked if you were all right," she said with slight concern. "And not for the first time either." "I'm fine." "He lied through his teeth." She then paused and glanced around as if trying to find something possibly a straight jacket. "I'm fine, just piss off!" She cocks an eyebrow at me as if considering whether or not Im mentally disturbed. "I said piss off! I've just got some cramps I'm fine." I say, standing up while keeping my hand on my gut. "Ok then but if you die of a heart attack don't come crying to me." She says as she turns and walks away. I watch her go then continue my short trip to the office. She knew, I'm sure of it, just the way she looked at me. No one can ever know about that, not now, not ever. I push the memories away they'd be back but I'd deal with it later. For now I got to get to the office and then to class. Part 2 I breezed through my first two classes and then headed to McDonalds for lunch. I slowly pulled my car into an open spot then cut the engine. I was just about to get out when I saw a shadow rush past my window. I stayed completely still trying to figure out what the hell it was. I glanced slowly around my car looking for anything that might try to kill me. I caught a glimpse of something as it ducked behind a building and vanished. What the hell? That was not human it was way too fast. I decided to stop sitting in my car like an idiot and move somewhere more public. I dashed quickly into the building and got in line behind a few others while I waited to order. First day at a new school and something from God knows where dashes by my car. I'm starting to think the universe just hates me. First the thing with my now deceased ex-girlfriend, then my mom dies. Finally my sister just heads off to University, leaving me with the cat and my dad to talk to. God I need a break, a long one with warm beaches and attractive women. I get my food and start looking around for a spot to sit. I notice John at the back motion for me to come over and sit. The guy, he's sitting with is this small scrawny looking kid with blond hair and a sort of nervous attitude about him. The two are discussing some sort of recent screw up when I get over to the table. "I see what you're getting at their mate but it wouldn't have worked and it would've damaged my truck there, eh?" "Look, John it would have worked if we would have had one. Your trucks fire proof, isn't it?" "No Ben! It's not and it never has been." Ben started to say something but John cut him off. "And again, duct tape is not fire proof." Ben glanced over at me then turned back to his friend, "is this the city kid you were talking about?" "You guys ever going to stop calling me that?" I asked taking a seat at the edge of the table "Probably not. I'm Ben by the way." "Michel Vicks." Shaking my hand he says, "nice to meet you City."

John laughed through his burger at that. I glared at him until he stoped. I grumbled and started to eat my lunch when a young man in an oilskin duster and a newsboy cap walks through a wall to my right. The dude stops and starts slowly turning around as if checking everything is in place. During his rotation he stops and stares at me his green eyes seem to show that he understands exactly who I am. Unimpressed or uninterested he continues his turn, taking it all in. He takes a deep breath, takes one final look around and seeming to be satisfied he continues to walk through the opposite wall. I glance around quickly and discover that no one else had noticed. Which says something about my sanity. "Eh? You good there now?" asked John trying to figure out what I was looking at, without much success. "Yea I'm fine just got a little distracted there." This day just keeps getting better and better. "Well then, what class do you have after lunch then eh?" "Something called Human Growth and Development." I say while trying to decipher the codes on my schedule sheet. "Should be fun, but we should probably head back to the school now. Me and John here have Electrical." "Is it any fun?" I asked. John grabs his bag and turns to leave. "Well, it isn't usually but Ben tends to cause large fires and the odd explosion. So it's not so much fun as incredibly dangerous." I glance over at Ben, rather worried about my safety. "Well I guess I'll see you two later." I say. "Same." calls John over his shoulder. I watch them go and consider how I am going to get past the shadowy demon and the man who walks through walls. I figure there isnt much I can do other than hope. I grab my stuff and head out to my car. Just is I open the door to leave I thought I saw a pair of red eyes staring at me from the window but when I turn to get a better look theyre gone. I run over to my car jam the keys into the Ignition and hurry back to the school. Human Growth, as it turned out, was some type of psychology course, which I thought was ironic, considering that I would probably be in need of a professional of the field by the end of the day. But all in all it goes rather well. Miss Zero spoke and I listened, not well mind you, but it still counts. After class, Miss Zero tells me to stay so she can sort out some of my paperwork. Having nothing else to do, I stay. After the rest of the class had filed out she motions me to the front of the room. "Welcome to EDSS Michel. It says on my form that you're from Detroit. Is that right?" She asks staring at her computer. "New York actually, but I had to stay with some family in Detroit." The truth is my psychotic exgirlfriend dragged me out there against my will and almost beat me to death but I don't tend to talk about that. "Hmm I see." scanning across the screen she stops when she comes across the rather interesting police report. She takes a couple of minutes to read through it. I fidget with my hands while I wait. I never actually got to read the report but I guessed it said something about the rather odd circumstances of the earlier mentioned ex-girlfriend's death. What the police said was that she had fallen out of an open window. What they didn't say was what she was doing at the time. What she was doing was beating the crap out of me. Something I would rather forget, but every time I get close it comes rushing back. "It was an accident I was not at fault." "I never said you were but the circumstances are... To put it plainly rather interesting." She takes her glasses off and looks at me, trying to figure out what Im hiding.

She would never figure it out. No one ever would because I never told anyone what actually happened there. I told the police, my parents, my friends and even my sister that I was "in the john" as I put it. I didn't push her but I'm not sure who did. "Yes they are, but if that's all you need Ill just be going." I turn around and freeze. Right outside the door is the shadow thing. It stares right at me, through the glass window on the door. I pull my eyes away from the thing and look at the teacher who is sitting at her desk, unaware of what is standing right outside her door. I turn back around to try and find a way to deal with whatever it is. Now that Ive had a good look at it, the thing seemed eerily familiar, but I cant think of why. "Michael I think you forgot your back pack." I spin around to see Miss Zero holding my bag. I steal a quick glance over my shoulder to check on the status of the demon. Its gone, completely gone. I breathe a sigh of relief. "Yes ma'am I think you're right. Thanks." I grab my bag and hurry to my car checking my shoulder every few seconds. I need to figure out what that thing is before it kills me. I reach my car and duck inside. I lock the door and try to calm myself before I suffer a heart failure. "Ok, so number one, some kind of shadowy demon from hell is trying to kill me. Number two, there is a man no one else can see that can walk through walls." "So what are you going to do about it?" I ask myself. "Not a fucking clue," I respond, "Maybe I've gone completely insane. Maybe after all the weird stuff I've had to deal with is finally getting to me." "That would make sense considering you're having a conversation with yourself and I'm coming up with some descent points." "You know you're probably right." "Thank you." "You're very welcome." I stop talking before someone saw me and took me to the mad house. Besides I was right I am probably going insane. Maybe Lightning will know what is going on, he seems to know quite a bit about weird things. So I drive off to go have a conversation with my cat about a Demon, A man in a duster and my sanity. What I life I lead. Part 3 Once I get to my house I unlock the door and step inside locking it behind me. It was quiet except for the clicking of my dad's keyboard from up stairs. I drop my stuff by the stairs and walk softly into the kitchen thinking of fixing myself a snack. Opening the fridge I inventory my choices. "I'd recommend the tuna but that's just me." He said in an Oxford accent. I jump a little at this like I always do which caused him to cackle slightly just like he always does. Sadistic bastard. "Thats what you always say, Lightning." I find an apple and close the door with my foot. "That's because I'm a cat, Michael," he said jumping down from the fridge. "It's in my nature." He was, in fact, a cat. A talking cat for that matter but I was used to it by now. I found him when he was a kitten back in New York. I learned he could talk a few months later, when he threatened to kill me if I forgot to feed him again. I haven't forgotten since then and it's been about eight years. His threats are rather vivid. "Well I don't happen to know any other cats that can talk so I have no idea if that's true," I say walking over to the table and finding my book to read. He jumps onto the table near me glancing at the book as he does "That's is because you are completely uncultured my friend." He sits down and starts licking his paws "But I will agree with your choice of reading."

He stops licking himself and stares at me for a long while. After about a minute it starts to freak me out. I lower my book "What?" Continuing his stare he purrs, "you've had an interesting day." "And you know this how?" I say, putting the book down. "I have my ways," He finally stops staring at me only to start scratching at his ear "By the way is the your idiotic plan to repress all of your feelings and memories involving your ex-girlfriend working out," He asks, completely changing the subject. "Well, a demon waited outside my teacher conference and saw a man walk through a wall today so let's focus on that. I leave the table to throw out what was left of my apple. Lightning follows along in my wake. "I consider myself to be somewhat responsible for your well being, so occasionally we will have to have therapy sessions." He looks up at me "mostly because you can't feed me if youre locked up in the loony bin." "Magic men and demons first, sanity second!" "Ok, fine, tell me what happened." I follow him up the stairs explaining as best I can. Once we reach my room I sit down in my chair and start unloading my stuff while Lightning "My, that is interesting, well the demon is anyway. The guy in the duster is not important, just forget about him." "He walked through a wall then acted like he owned the place. How is he not important?" Technically he does own the place. Actually he owns all the places. He owns everything in the universe." He explains, "but that still doesn't make him important. Tell me more about the demon." I stare at Lightning for a minute waiting for him to explain. Lightning sighs at me and starts pinching the bridge of his nose with his paw. "He's God. Just forget about him. He's not important. Tell me about the demon." "God walks into the McDonalds where I was eating stares at me then leaves and you're telling me that's not important?" "Can you do anything about it?" "Well no, but." "Will he stop the demon?" "Maybe I mean-." "The answer to that question is no, by the way. He's God there's nothing you can do and if he has decided to help you he already has and probably had it set up since the beginning of the universe sooo." He pauses to wait for me to figure it out. "It doesn't matter at all," we say at roughly the same time. "It's learns," Lightning mocks me. "Enough about the creator of the universe. Tell me more about the demon." " I don't know what else you want from me I've already told you everything I know." "Any feelings about anything. Seem familiar at all? Anything like that?" I sit for a moment trying to sift through my thoughts then it clicks, "Yes. Yes it did. I thought I knew who it was but I just couldn't put my finger on it." I stand up and start pacing back and forth racking my brains struggling to remember. Lightning watches me from my bed. Why did it seem so familiar? It was just a big shadowy person I don't know any big shadowy people. "Ok maybe the better question is, why was it after me? I mean there are only so many reasons I demon would go after someone. Right?" I ask. Hmm. Well the only reasons I can think of would be if you did something that angered it. But you haven't done anything to frustrate a demon have you?" He glares pointed at me. I stare at him. I think I know what he is thinking. "Well Fuck." I say.

"Bloody Hell." Lightning breathes. We just sit there for a while thinking through the implications of that possibility. Most of them result in me ending up where Lightning had suggested. Then I stopped thinking about anything and just stood there. Duster Man, save me. "That's not possible Lightning. Please tell me that's not possible? Please?" "As far as I'm aware it's not, but she was a little bit of a monster, he explains. "I think I would have noticed if my ex was a demon. I mean she wasn't that bad at the start I saw quite a bit of her. She didn't have horns or a tail or anything." "Yes but God wears an oilskin duster and a blue news-boy cap, making any preconceptions you have about mystical beings irrelevant. Oh, I forgot to mention, God does go to your school so say hi for me." "Lightning focus," I slump back down in my chair, "my ex- Girlfriend is back from hell to kill me what am I supposed to do!" "Sorry I'm nervous ok? I get all twitchy and distracted when I get nervous." "You're nervous? She's not trying to kill you she's trying to kill me" I shout, "Wait? Is she trying to kill you?" "Well, there was that one time I slept with her." "WHAT? You're a cat that doesn't even make sense," I stop for a second then stared at him, "you slept with my girlfriend. I should kill you." "Yes I did but not in the way you're thinking about it. I slept on her face when she woke up I scratched her and she was really angry. She tried to throw me out a window. I screamed loudly and ran away." "Ok, Next time, rephrase that because that was just wrong man." "Sorry," he said. "Now we were panicking about something what was it? Oh Right, demon girlfriend thing right. So what do we do, other then hide in my room?" I say checking around my room for anything useful. "Maybe we should try and call God," he suggests. At that God walks in through my wall and stares at us. YOUR PROBLEM NOT MINE." bellows God. His Duster is blowing in the nonexistent wind, which looks very dramatic. He takes his hat off and runs his hand through his short blonde hair, then looks back at us again. "I RECOMEND MAKING A BREAK FOR IT YOU MIGHT GET LUCKY BUT THATS JUST ME" and with that he vanished. "That's a good a plan as any." I say. "Agreed." I grab my car key's off my desk and run from my room, Lightning hot on my heels. "Hey Dad I'm going out to run away from my ex-girlfriend who turned out to be a demon I'll be back in a bit." "Ok you have fun." I look down at Lightning who shrugs in response. I dash down the stairs and out the front door looking wildly around, looking for her before she kills me. We make it to the car, jump in and lock the doors. I slam it into reverse and squeal the tires as we pull away. The car lurches forward as I hit something then bumps slightly. I stop and crank my head around slightly confused. What the hell had I hit? I put the car in drive and roll forward. The car bumps again and I think I hear a weird whining noise from the back of the car. "Did you hear that?" asks Lightning his ears swivelling all over the place. "Yep." "You should back over it again just to be safe."

"Agreed." So I do. The car bumps twice in response just as it had the first time but the whining noise is louder. "Ok Michel you get out and check I'll wait here." "Why don't you look?" "Because I'm too British to die." "You're not from the U.K your from New York." I say glancing down at him. " Fine, together then." "Ok. On three" I suggest. " How about five?" After ten more minutes of arguing we finally agree to sneak out. We slowly creep along the side of the car to the rear where a very odd sight awaits us. "Well damn," I mutter glancing down at the mess. "I didn't know you could kill a demon by running it over with a car," observed Lightning. "WHA-. HOW DID YO-? THIS DOSENT EVEN MAKE SENSE," announced God who had appeared next to me. Normally, I would have jumped but today was way to strange. "I know what you mean." I cross my arms then uncross them, then just stare for a while. The three of us just stood there for a long time. Staring at it and gesturing every once and awhile. I always thought demons were supposed to be hard to kill. Apparently not. "WELL, THATS IT, I'M GOING HOME. ILL SEE YOU AT SCHOOL TOMMOROW. OH BY THE WAY WELCOME TO EDSS." Then God turns around and ascends back to heaven or whatever. "Well, this was a productive day. I'm going to go get something to eat. You want anything?" My cat looks between the dead demon and me a few times. "Sure. We still have those fish crackers?" "I think so," I say. "Good." For the rest of the night Lightning and I try to drown our confusion in goldfish. So much for nothing I haven't dealt with.