Euthanasia, Inc. Good morning, everyone. My names David and I help people kill themselves for a living.

Again.
My names David and I am an assisted-suicide facilitator.

Better.
Shudder at being thought of as non-PC; Im only human. Our firms tagline search-engine optimised and bikini-waxed for the nouveau glum: Where suicide ends: life begins. At least, for the people around you it does. Hardly a surprise business is booming: Economic crises Falling church congregations Rising popes erections. Some lemmings on the edge of a cliff just need a how to say push. And Im very good at pushing. 5:00pm: shirt bloodied, razorblade disposed, noose untightened, pills stowed, hands rapt with gild. Three more put to sleep to think, they used to save that for pets. Lambs of God. Turn left. Lambs to the slaughter. Right. Lamb Wait. Casserole.

This is my street. David. Mum? Dad always said retirement homes were so pass.