Once upon a time, in a land far away, but not so far as to be completely out of reach of our imaginations, there

was a kingdom. And in this kingdom in this land that is not so very far, there was a castle, as every kingdom should have. Naturally, there was indeed a king in this castle. He was an old sort of man, the kind you look at and pity almost immediately. His beard was as long as a broom-stick, and as white as the winter fairys hair. His pale skin was as wrinkled as a witchs cat, and his teeth nearly gone. The hair on his head was as thin and ghostly as a will-o-the-wisp. Almost everything about him was haggard and unimpressive. Everything, save his eyes. His blue eyes radiated wisdom and knowledge, goodwill and kindness. Also, if you met them at the right time, one might also detect a certain sadness, a sadness that can only come of knowing much of the world and how things must be. They, unlike their master, were as young and as spry as the day they first opened. They were as young and as spirited as the kings only daughter. The kings daughter, or more commonly known as the princess, was liveliness and loveliness themselves. She was as gay as a bluebird on a summer morn and as fair as a tulip when it is first kissed by the spring fairy. Laughter was always on the tip of her tongue, precariously teetering on the edge of uncontrollable. She was somewhat foolish, and this foolishness was often driven by her almost insatiable curiosity. She had made at least ten of the lines on her dear father face, and had made the last gray hair on his head turn white. But she never meant to inconvenience or offend anyone, much less make them age quicker. She was innocent of every ill intention, and was sincerely penitent when scolded. No matter what, however, her young spirit could not be controlled. It was no help that she had no mother, or close family for that matter save her father. Her mother had been tragically killed in a wicked prank played by the goblins while she was still an infant. Goblins: The kingdoms worst enemies. The kingdom was plagued by the mischievous goblins that never ceased to play awful pranks on the people. The goblins of long ago, (or before her mother was killed) were more than mischievous. They were wicked and cruel. After they killed the poor queen with a falling piano, the king ordered that they all be killed on sight. In a fortnight, they had all been almost wiped out. Almost. There were two young ones that survived. These young ones mated, and multiplied, and formed a new tribe of goblins, with themselves as the kingum and queenum. And this tribe of goblins was now playing awful pranks on everyone in the kingdom. The milkmaid slipped on a banana peel on her rounds, spilling her milk everywhere. The baker was bombarded with water balloons while carrying a basket of bread to his mother. A little boy found a box of candy with his name on it, and, eating the candy, stained his teeth green for life. The princesss governess tripped over a wire stretched across the hall and broke the bottle of castor oil she was carrying to the princess (though no one is sure that was even the goblins). All of these and more the goblins did, and they plotted in the North-Southern Mountain. Well one day, a young squire was following his knight up the North-Southern Mountain. They were on a secret mission; so secret that not even the squire knew. The mountain-side was covered in ash, the remains of a village that had been burned by the previous generation of goblins. A mist hung in the air, but not a silver mist as it is in the early morning, but a thick fog as thick as pea soup. Every so often, they

passed holes in the ground that used to be charming looking wells and much larger holes that used to be cellars. As the squire walked, his black boots slowly turned a powder gray. He sighed, not very enthusiastic about this whole ordeal. He turned his eyes to the knight, and muttered, What is up with this secret mission anyhow? Cant I know already? The knight turned, seriousness etched on his features. He wondered if he could trust the somewhat flippant teen-aged boy, who always seemed to be complaining about something or other or just couldnt stop sighing in the most obnoxious manner. He looked into his eyes, which had dark lines under them from the early hour he had risen from his comfortable bunk. The knight decided to trust him with this intense secret, though who knows what mysterious food he had eaten to push him to make this decision. He began walking again, and also started to tell the squire everything. Young man, I meanuhboy Here he seemed to have a strange coughing fit. Then he continued, My lord, the King, has commissioned us with this dangerous, most secret mission. He has lost something of great importance, and we must go into the goblin tunnels to find it. Upon hearing this, the boy raised his eye brows and his eyes widened considerably. The g goblin t-tunnels? he stuttered, apparently affected. But no one has ever gone in there and come outalive. The brave knight nodded, obviously aware of the danger, but it seemed to run off his back as water runs off the back of a duck. The knight continued to tell him all as they trod up the mountain. There is one object of importance that we must retrieve as soon as possible. Or perhaps all shall be lost. This object of utmost importance is Here he paused for dramatic effect, a decision he greatly regretted later. For at the moment of his intended hesitation, the squire promptly tripped on a stump and plunged headlong into a dry well. Oops, the shocked knight uttered, gaping into the well. As the alarmed squire fell through the abyss of darkness, he vaguely wondered what he had eaten for breakfast and if he would ever eat again. When he had been thinking his gloomy last thoughts for over two minutes, it suddenly struck him that he was still falling, and this was a very, very, very deep well. He wondered if the peasants even had a rope long enough to draw water from it. He was beginning to freak out. Suddenly, he noticed that on the side of the walls, there were eerie green lights that were shaped like slit eyes. Dark shapes also painted the walls and strange noises reached his ears. He thought he could hear screams, the sound of a grindstone sharpening a knife, and the sound of nails on a chalkboard. He thought maybe that he could hear a cat purring too, but that didnt concern him as much as the others. He was just getting used to the feeling of falling, when suddenly his whole world went black and silent.

When he awoke, his head was hurting so bad he couldnt think. He had to force himself to open his eyes. It took him a minute to see clearly. When he could see, he noticed that the green lights that he had seen while falling were glowworms. He rubbed his head, and noticed that he was in some sort of net, suspended over more darkness. He carefully climbed to the nearest edge, and so doing noticed that there were handles carved into the wall of stone. There was a civilization down here. He had reached the goblin tunnels. Slowly climbing along the ledge, he reached some sort of tunnel that reeked of naughtiness. He crept in, careless of the danger that he might be getting himself into. The walls of the cave were etched with pictures of goblins playing the nastiest pranks on the people of his country. He was flabbergasted with all of this. Then came a cavern of odds and ends thrown everywhere. Clothes, toys, shoes, tools, gems and furniture were strewn all over the ground. The squire began to search through these things. He came across a silken nightcap, beautifully and artfully made. It was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. He gazed at it for quite a while, seemingly hypnotized by its rare beauty. Suddenly, a racket came from a tunnel branching off from this cavern. Light from torches could be seen and little goblins rushed out of the opening. He stuffed the gorgeous night cap into his pocket and ran the other direction. Something told him that whatever these things following him were, they didnt want to say hi. As he ran, he stumbled over different objects. He turned to see if the goblins were gaining on him, when suddenly he bumped into a person. The person was shorter than him, and he nearly squished her like a pancake. The small person let out a small scream. Not caring what it was, the squire picked the person up and tore off down the cavernous tunnels. PUT ME DOWN OR I WILL HAVE MY DADDY HAVE YOU DECAPITATED!!! He stopped and promptly dropped the screaming, kicking little girl. Then he just ran off without her. STOP OR I WILL HAVE MY DADDY HAVE YOU DECAPITATED!!! she screamed again. He ran back and grabbed the little girl of about ten years of age and ran off once more. As he ran, she gave him a lecture about how dropping people was mean and then picking them up again roughly was just cruel. He told her to shut her mouth and that if she had enough breath to preach then she could just run by herself. The little girl retorted, I am the princess! You do not tell me what to do. I will have my daddy have you decapitated! He squire grumbled something about the king being just, when all of the sudden, he realized they had reached a dead end. Suddenly, a hand seemed to shoot out of the stone, and there was the whole knight attached to it. The knight climbed out of the painted paper that made the wall look like stone. Turning to the squire, he said,

We do not leave until we find what we came for. When we find it, we can get out through here very easily. One problem, said the squire, as he pointed in the direction of the goblins. The lights and screams drew closer. The squire drew back against the wall and put one hand over the princesss mouth to keep her from screaming and bringing the whole cave down on them. They were roughly put in dirty sacks, and the princess was yelling something about decapitation. They were buffeted and bumped so much that they passed out within five minutes. When they finally regained consciousness, they were tied to large stone cones. The goblins were apparently deep in conversation, and the squire looked around slowly. The princess was still unconscious (thankfully for him) and her head was resting on his shoulder. Gross. He looked the other way and saw that the knight had been captured as well and was tied right next to him. The knight looked very sober, and said mournfully to the squire, They have been discussing different ways to cook us. The squires eyes widened and he could only seem to stare at the goblins who were sitting around a fire with knives and forks in the hands of every one. The squires mouth grew dry, and he thought that although he had almost died more than a few times that day, this was it. Finish. Exit the squire. The princess stirred. She looked up into the squires face almost immediately and asked him why he had stopped. He groaned and would have told her to save her breath for her last prayers, then thought the better of it. She continued to blab on and on about how she got into the tunnels and how she wanted adventure and how her daddy was too strict. He squire turned to the knight and inquired of many things. But the last of all was, What was that thing of great value that we were trying to find, anyways? The knight sighed and said, Alas and lack-a-day, I fear that the kings royal nightcap is gone forever. The squire felt in his pocket. Oops.