The 10 Deadliest Words

and Phrases in Business

by Gary Blake
Want to make your business writing more effective? Here are ten
phrases to avoid in your letters and e-mails.


Image source: BigStockPhoto.com
Take a look at the next four or five letters, e-mails, and memos that
cross your desk. Do they sing out with clarity and precision? Or do
they sound as if they were written by a lawyer in a Charles Dickens
novel? Worse yet: do they sound like they were written by a lawyer
in your own company?


Don't get me wrong: lawyers are there to protect you, to dot the i's,
to think of everything. But you are there to deal with the customer,
and part of that means writing in such a way that you come across
as human, caring, up to date, and personal.
As someone who teaches on-site seminars in "Effective Business
Writing" and "Technical Writing," I read hundreds of letters, memos,
reports, e-mail, proposals, manuals, and procedures. Rarely do I
see a document that completely avoids what I call the "10 Deadliest"
words and phrases commonly found in business writing.
Do a few stodgy phrases ruin a letter? Is this such a big deal? Well,
when you consider how many letters are being sent by American
companies today alone, you realize how important it is to make them
clear, concise, and appropriate to a new Millennium.
By eliminating the following 10 phrases, you can, in a single stroke,
make your company's documents significantly better. Also, you will
improve your company's image, settle claims more amiably, "sell"
settlements better, get information quicker, and cut thousands of
wasted words.
Here are the 10 phrases that I always either delete or find
substitutes for as I review writing samples:
1. "Yours very truly" (also "Sincerely yours" and "Very truly
yours"). You are not theirs. These closings are antiquated. I find
myself using "Sincerely" almost all the time.
2. "Respectfully" - This closing has a solemn, almost hat-in-hand
aspect to it that I dislike. I see it used in denial letters all the time.
Perhaps what the writer is thinking is this: "If I use 'Respectfully,' it
will soften the blow." But, of course, it doesn't. It just adds a somber
tone and won't make the reader any happier about having his or her
claim denied.


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3. "Please be advised ..." - A lawyer-like phrase that is almost
always unnecessary. Usually you are not so much giving "advice" as
you are "telling' or "informing." Save this phrase for the act of giving
of advice. But no need to write: "Please be advised that the check is
overdue." Simply write: "The check is overdue." Instead of "I advised
him to call me tomorrow," just write "I told [or asked] him to call me
tomorrow." Maybe "told has a bit too harsh a tone for some, in which
case feel free to use this "advice" as needed. But "advise" or "be
advised" is almost always overkill.
4. "Kindly" - "Please" works better than this old fashioned word.
5. "I have forwarded..." "I am forwarding" - In e- mail,
"forwarding" does have a specific meaning: the sending of materials
from someone other than the writer to the reader. In other cases
(e.g., I am forwarding my business card to you), just use "send."
6. "Above-captioned" (also: "above referenced") - Any of these
phrases tells the reader to stop reading, roll his eyes back to the
"RE line," find the information, and then re-enter the letter to
continue its reading. Wouldn't it be easier to just summarize the
salient information in the letter itself? In other words, if the "above-
mentioned claim" refers to "Smith vs. Jones," why not write, "In the
Smith vs. Jones claim..." Sometimes the "above" will refer to a claim
number. In this case, just put the claim number in the letter itself.
The trick in writing is to keep the reader reading with as few
distractions as possible.
7. "Please do not hesitate to contact me." - I'll refrain from writing,
"If I had a dollar for every time I see this phrase used...." because
then I'd be using a clich to criticize a clich'! The prevalent "please
do not hesitate" was a light, bright phrase when it was coined almost
a half-century ago, but now, like most clichs, it pays a price for its
popularity. When you use a clich, you subtly send a message to
your reader that you think in clichs. So, innocuous as this phrase
may sound, it does portray its writer as blandly impersonal. Use:
"please call me," polite with out the clich connection.
8. "Please note that..." Again, here's a phrase that may seem
innocent but it has, for me, a rather schoolmarmish tone ( "Now, pay
attention!") I'd omit the phrase.
9. "Enclosed please find." - This phrase, more than any other in
the world of businsss writing, epitomizes the lawyer-like way people
start to write when they are either desperate to avoid using a
pronoun like "I" or simply love to repeat phrases they've seen in
other letters without ever thinking for themselves. After all, what do
you have to "find"?
That reminds me of a joke. A guy goes into a restaurant and orders
a steak dinner. Later, the waiter walks over table, smiles
obsequiously, and asks "How did you find your steak?" The guy
looks at the waiter and says, "I just moved the mashed potatoes--
and there it was!"
When The Beatles were returning home after coming to the United
States, a journalist asked them: "How did you find America?" One of
the Fab Four answered, "We turned left at Greenland."
Enough said! There's nothing to "find." Use "enclosed is..." or "I've
enclosed."
10. "Under separate cover" - When you write, "I am sending you
this "under separate cover," you are perpetuating a formalistic and
old fashioned phrase. When I hear the word "cover," I think of a big
spaghetti pot and that reminds me to "boil down" the thought to
read, "I am sending you it separately [or by FedEx, etc.]"
If you see these phrases all the time, maybe it's time to train some
of your people to sharpen their writing, to make sure it moves your
company forward.